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type of guy who invariably buys the worst salami in the store because he was cursed by god himself never to buy good salami: you know I don’t like salami very much

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Hey, don't cry. A single thread in a tapestry, though its color brightly shines, can never see its purpose in the pattern of the grand design, ok?

#ABT ME

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white boy SHOCKS chinese restaurant owner with LVL 57 DARK LIGHTNING SPELL

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West Oakland ‘94

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obsessed with this

#star trek #why’s he like this!!

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so i love peppermint candy and when i was in middle school theyd hold a candy cane sale in december, one quarter per candy cane! extremely excellent deal, except i was twelve and completely broke. so one year i scrounged for floor change for a couple of days before deciding i was desperate and stealing $20 from my mother’s nightstand 😔 it weighed on me for a full decade until a few months ago i decided to finally confess to my mom and she was like. yeah dude you came home with eighty candy canes. do you think i’m stupid

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Had to illustrate what I envision literally every time I see this text post

#this is really good #gf

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T.G.I.F !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank guns im friday. Last night.My husband went missing in the darkness but i found him flat on his back in a field. And all around him chunks of dirt were missing from the ground. Shephards pie for dinner

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coworkers under 35 love me for my cowboy bebop jacket, coworkers over 35 love me for my cd player, management loves me for my mental illness-fueled punctuality. everyone feels vaguely wary of me for my overall poor impression of acting like a human

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in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

#sw

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#attack on titan 😔

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I’m not a real person btw I only exist on tumblr

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i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday