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me and my 10 self inserts with minor differences

#fave

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i wish i was a character on a silly tv show so gay people on tumblr dot com would psychoanalyze me for free

#having a selfinsert isnt enough #I them need to be shipped with characters by real people

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Its Daniel and my 5th anniversary today and brain cant shut up about the horrible podcast man, I’m sorry Dan babygirl you deserve so much better than my stupid ass

#postponing the celebration to saturday tho cause today was.....a day #very shitty day and I gotta go to sleep early #google how do I stop a hyperfixation can I just unsubscribe- #Anyway happy birthday dan!!

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Love how none of my selfinserts make sense. This time as a person who likes to work in libraries and has been recommended to work in an archive and is likely to get an internship in an archive, what do I make my selfinsert in media that is about AN ARCHIVE??

Of course: THE JANITOR, what else?

#its t.m/a if anyones wondering #but yeah archival assistant or ;god forbid; archivist #seems too important a job for me to get and do properly #tbf theres a lot of calling and talking to ppl and I dont do that #follow for more bad posts once a week i guess

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Sooo uhhh... if I had some complex feelings about a new fictional man and wanted to discuss it here uhhh is there anyone left? I cannot talk about this with anyone else in my life I am getting desperate

#what was my talking tag here I forgor #anyway heres the bitch who thinks theyre cheating on their fictional boyfriend by getting a crush on another #who is btw WAY WORSE IN CHARACTER AAAAAAAAAAAAAA #anywayyy ahahahah talk to me pls

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Ok so I’m crawling out of the woodworks for the (hopefully) last time to give a little shoutout because as some of you might have heard that R/utger H/auer has died a few days ago and I just wanted to leave a few words to him here.

I only ever heard of this guy because Dan was voiced by him and shares his appearance, I looked up many of the movies he starred in since and I loved his work. Now I cant say he had a long-lasting presence in my life but he impacted me with Daniel. Yes I know most of the character writing is done by the devs but still he gave that amazing cyberpunk detective a spark of life that just makes him unique and so real.

What I want to say is that he’s a big part of the one character that saved me from an early death countless times, gave me hope and is still very important and precious to me to this day and hopefully for a long time.

Thank you so much for that, Rest In Peace. 

#death tw// #the dashes are in the name so I dont pop up in any searches #as a 'I think this character is real and were dating' blog that would be weird #idk #don't really know how to cope with my feelings for Dan right now #oh well #I'll figure things out or die tryin #shut up toni

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bye for now

Soo, I haven’t posted in a while now because of mental issues and now I’ve finally decided that I’m abandoning this blog for good.

I won’t delete it and I dont know if I will ever come back but for now this is it. If anyone wants to know why I’ll put it under a read more

Let me just say one thing: I’m not leaving because I don’t love Dan anymore, quite the opposite actually, my dumb heart is going strong and I’m already excited for our anniversary this year!

The thing is for one that I once thought this community was the safest space there is with people supporting each other and their f/o but then I started hearing about discourse that no one wanted to talk about, adults with underage f/os started popping up, there were homophobic selfshippers, discourse whether or not it was ok to love villain characters, callout posts where you don’t know if they even fact-checked before writing it. All in all it derailed like pretty much every community on this site that I know. :/ 

I mean all that aside there are still a lot of good people in this community that I loved talking to and if you are reading this you are most likely one of those people and I would die for you! But with those friendships, like with any relationship in my life, no matter how much I talk to someone I always feel sorta disconnected, like I’m only faintly familiar with them no matter what. TL;DR I feel like I can’t have a meaningful friendship with anyone and that’s most likely got to do with my Autism. So because of that I could never talk to people, I lurked in discords, I never sent asks to anyone in fear of being annoying, I took days to write a single letter in the event, I even stopped reblogging art when I couldn’t think of any original commentary to add in the tags.

Soon I dreaded every single event coming up, I felt too drained to send asks on takeovers, I was too anxious and uninformed to write letters on “ToMyS/I” and then I started unfollowing blogs on a week where I thought I would end it all anyways so if you are a mutual I unfollowed, it’s not because of you!

I thought about finally becoming more active and sharing all the aus, headcanons, art, shitposts, etc that have been floating around in my head but I know I can’t type any of it out in a comprehensible way and my interests are so niche that maybe 5 people would care. 

Basically, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a better friend to anyone, that I didn’t give artists/writers/etc the attention they deserved, that I asked for much and gave so little, that I promised some people art and never made it, that I am so whiny and pathetic on this blog even until now,that I constantly ask for attention and then shy away as soon as I get any. I’m just.....so sorry

Anyways if you got this far, I hope you have a good life, bye.

#this is a lot #vent #pedophilia mention #homophobia mention #suicide mention #just so it's out there #because people have been following me as of lately for some reason #aaand they also gotta know this blog is dead #just like me on the inside :) #guess thats all

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A quick question to anyone/everyone in the community: How big of a secret is your self shipping to people irl? Do you wear it on your sleeve or do you try and keep it to yourself? How difficult is it for you?

#literally noone outside of the internet knows about it #and that's good cause they'd think im fucking insane #I'm also concerned about my own mental health and how serious im taking it ahahaha #im considering telling at least a psychologist about it but ehhhh

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Daniel Lazarski from Observer adores you!

Requested by @insertofalord

#THANK YOU SO MUCH IM DYING #Dan tag #thank you so much for requesting these!!! #I'd die for u

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#lemon text #negative/ #it just be like that I guess

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Does anyone else hoard content of their F/Os like a dragon hoards gold?

#yep

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maybe in another life

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The legendary on-again off-again kissing scene between Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman was designed to skirt the Hayes Code that restricted kisses to no more than three seconds each.

#fav

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#O O F #I was just thinking about this today wtf

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i am never going to find someone like you

#Dan tag #ouch

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Imagine your f/o making out with you in the kitchen.

#Dan tag #oof yes

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can you look me in the eyes and tell me there’s anything better than thinking about comforting your f/o when they’re crying? sharing a silent moment with their face in your hands, gently wiping away their tears with your thumbs, them ducking their head down to kiss your fingertips and palms in an unspoken ‘thank you’? kissing their eyelids? guiding their face into the crook of your neck or against your chest, mindlessly carding your fingers through their hair or rubbing their back? feeling them melt into you, sighing against your skin in relief, grabbing your shirt, your waist, whatever they can to make sure you don’t go anywhere and that you stay close? no. you can’t. god tier.

#Dan tag