confusedingotham

[confusedingotham]

I feel like the bat kids and Wayne kids would be best friends

But

Bruce Wayne would be mortal enemies with Batman and vice versa

(Or exes that hate each other or husbands)

I can’t explain it

[confusedingotham]

So, no one's gonna talk about the ice covering the First Bank of Gotham?

No? Okay, just wanted to be on the same page. Noted.

-River

#river's updates #onlyingotham #first bank of gotham #gotham

[confusedingotham]

#onlyingotham will the villains AND rogues all go on twitter and make posts telling Gothamites not to play the Gotham crime-watch drinking game (1 shot per crime reported on the show, 2 if the rogues are involved, 3 if you see the batsignal from your window), and have almost everyone in gotham respond with "if you want us to stop don't do crimes". We're now three weeks in to no crime in the city so... well done I guess? #anyoneelseweirdedoutbythis #calmbeforethestorm #thiscityhasneverbeensoquiet

[confusedingotham]

RE: the jason prank war. to get out: enlist the help of damian wayne (if you can convince him). if he pranks jason without you, jason will get distracted by him. to retaliate: enlist the help of tim drake-wayne (if you can get his attention). if you team up with jason's little brother to prank him, oh it's on baby

Thank you for these tips, I’ll keep them in consideration

-River

#river's updates #onlyingotham #wayne enterprises #waynekids #gotham #gothamite #jasontodd #jason Todd prank war

[confusedingotham]

It appears as though Jason has taken my previous posting as a challenge. I arrived today to find that all my pens were missing.

I may have accidentally started a prank war with Jason. Any suggestions for how to either get out or retaliate?

-River

#river's updates #onlyingotham #wayne enterprises #waynekids #jason todd

[confusedingotham]

Jason, throwing wadded up papers at me while I am working is not making the situation any better

Notice to Jason Todd

Jason Peter Todd, I know you read these posts. I am WORKING. Please stop bothering me while I am doing so. Thank you.

-River

[confusedingotham]

Elaborate??

NEAR BATMAN EXPERIENCE NEAR BATMAN EXPERIENCE HELP I JUST WANTED A DRINK

[confusedingotham]

Notice to Jason Todd

Jason Peter Todd, I know you read these posts. I am WORKING. Please stop bothering me while I am doing so. Thank you.

-River

#onlyingotham #jasontodd #wayne enterprises #river's updates #waynekids #wayne family #gothamite #gotham

[confusedingotham]

I heard something pop? I think they may have filled his office with balloons

So, Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain just came inside. They had some very full trash bags with them. All they did was wink at me as they snuck into Bruce's office.

More on this story as it develops.

#river's updates #wayne family #waynekids #wayne enterprises #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #onlyingotham

[confusedingotham]

So, Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain just came inside. They had some very full trash bags with them. All they did was wink at me as they snuck into Bruce's office.

More on this story as it develops.

#onlyingotham #river's updates #wayne enterprises #waynekids #stephanie brown #cassandra cain

[confusedingotham]

What are the batfams names short for? wrong answers only

Dick: Dickothy

Jason: J-J-J-J-JASOOOON!!!

Tim: Optimus Prime

Damian: Damianian

Duke: Archduke

Cullen: Edward Cullen

Steph: Dr. Stephen Strange

Cass: Casserole

Babs: Kebabs

Harper: Harper's Ferry

Carrie: Card-Carrying Member

Kate: Skateboard

Alfred: Fettuccine Alfredo

Selina: Gotta Keep An Eye Out For Selener

Bruce: Bruschetta

#I'm not gonna argue #wayne family

[confusedingotham]

DO NOT, I repeat do not try to aproach the Rogues is your visiting Gotham. They are dangerously unstable murderers, not your friends. Gothamites can get away with that shit becuase they have no self-preservation instinct whatsoever. #OnlyInGotham #GodIMissOpal

[confusedingotham]

So now, in addition to the question mark sticky notes, now there are papers posted on the campus bulletin boards and light posts. They have riddles written on them with blank strips to tear off.

I think the idea is we're supposed to answer them. I saw a green box by the art building with a hole in the top.

Is it bad that I kind of want to do it?

#river's updates #I'm not going to #but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know what happens #gotham university #riddler's up to something #onlyingotham #gotham #gothamite #only in gotham

[confusedingotham]

Forensic scientist

[confusedingotham]

I’ve heard some rumors going around that Bruce Wayne is Batman. I would like to put these theories to bed.

I’ve seen Bruce Wayne’s schedule. I’ve made the spreadsheets before. There is absolutely no way that you could do everything that man does in a day, look after all of his kids, don the Batman suit and fight crime all night WHILE getting the proper rest and food the human body needs to survive.

I am sure of it.

-River

#onlyingotham #river's updates #batmantheories #bruce wayne #waynekids #wayne enterprises

[confusedingotham]

Little bit yeah. Figuring it out

I met my first of the Wayne Kids today. Tim Drake called out to me as the elevator doors were closing with his arms full of drink carriers. He had three spread between his arms and all of them were full of coffees. I held the doors for him.

When I asked him who the drinks were for, he looked at me weird. I asked him again and he told me they weren't for anyone else.

Does anyone know if he's alright?

-River

[confusedingotham]

Gothamites,

do vigilantes typically find their ways into your homes at night? Last night I got scared senseless by Nightwing crawling through my window.

He was fine. He just asked me if I had any snacks??

- River

#onlyingotham #river's updates #only in gotham #gotham #gothamite #nightwing