cerrenium

[cerrenium]

Anyways, calling shoplifting “urban foraging” is very funny, a useful euphemism, should be done more often.

[cerrenium]

This is like a dream. Love it.

[cerrenium]

I really want this book but its not possible rn :(

[cerrenium]

Yeah and those items didn't last. CDs and DVDs got scratched, lost/stolen, dvd players stopped working. These things can still be purchased electronically and stored on a drive.

[cerrenium]

Always Him (started 4/2/24)

Cora Rose

(Currently reading)

The first book in this series was amazing however.... I was not digging Fin/Landon's relationship.

What I like...

I think Cora Rose (author) is extremely talented at dipicting the differing perceptions of different characters in her stories. In "Until Him" (Book 1 that focuses on Logan/Theo), Logan views the sexual nature of the relationship between his brother (Landon) and their mutual best friend, Finn, as being initiated by Finn.

In book 2 (Always Him, Landon/Finn focus), we learn that its LANDON who is the main driving force of their sexual contact. FURTHERMORE, we learn that Landon SPECIFICALLY does things to Finn in secret in order to make it so he is not seen as the initiate of these interactions.

Its nothing terribly unseemly imo, however, its def dubcon. Lmao Landon even mentions that he likes dubcon and has to explain what it is to Finn (fyi dubcon= dubious consent).

Tbc...

#Cora Rose #always him #until him #book review #gay romance #booklr

[cerrenium]

While positive me totally agrees and emphasizes positive thinking...

The negative side would like to remind us all that I barely clear 38k a year, im like 25k in debt, im 36 and Ihave never moved out of my parents house, my car is literally dying and I donate plasma for food and gas money.

But totally poasible *smothers negative side with a pillow*

I have 3 friends my age who own property and 3 others who could almost certainly afford a starter home if they wanted one so I have not lost hope in ever owning a house and neither should y'all.

[cerrenium]

Sometimes my anxiety wakes me up in the middle of the night. Or hits me at random places like the plasma donation center. Its like being sucker punched from the inside. I almost seize up.

[cerrenium]

Oh damn the Catholics have joined in on the war against AI "art".

[cerrenium]

I fought so hard to get to my new job and, dont get me wrong. I am very VERY grateful to be here.

But I also hate being here.

I hate dealing with my emotions and other people. I hate the boredom. The lack of things to do.

I feel as useless as ever.

I am tired of feeling.

That is all.

[cerrenium]

I am finally coming to terms with who my mother really is.

I think it took me so long to realize this bc I needed someone to care about me, even if it was only for her own self-interest.

I feel like I SHOULD feel lonely, but on some level, I always knew this truth - that my mother only loved me bare-minimum. She has hurt me a lot over the years to the point where I am just used to feeling bad bc of her.

[cerrenium]

I was gonna say it but I don't have to now. Thanks!

♤ Images taken from Pinterest.

www.magickation.com

[cerrenium]

Wait what?! Stumbleupon doesnt exist anymore?! That makes me so sad! I loved that site. I used to use linktree to save the super cool sites so I could revisit them! And I found this really cool site that would play songs based on your mood. Discovered so much new music that way.

I can't stress enough how much I miss StumbleUpon

[cerrenium]

I had wild dreams.

First I dreamt I was an aspiring comedian and the owner of the coffee house near me that hosts comedy night (irl this is a real place but in my dream its like I live in Chicago or something) was murdered.

Somehow, this detective thinks I did it but then they find my friend st the crime scene and they are falsely incarcerated. So I have to find the real perp.

Turns out its this little person who is a super jerk. I catch him and free my friend.

Then I am.at the street fair. There is this large sink hole and this kid catches a baby from falling to its desth.

My last dream was a night mare. I wake up and see this balloon get bigger and bigger, then go away over and over. Then I see my lil bro go into his room followed by my sister. I hear this whirling sound coming from the kitchen.

I get up tho im super scared and I go to my young siblings and ask what's wrong. They say they are scared of mom. I tell them its ok and go to check.

Moms standing in the kitchen, in one hand is the hand mixer and in the other a cigarette. There is this huge pile of cookie dough. I ask mom how its going and she's sayinf how her dough isclnt coming out right.

I pretend to finish it, scoop it all in a bowl and tell her ill make them while she goes back to sleep. In the batter theres a cigarette butt and lots of ashes. I guide her to bed.

Then I wake up scarred that I'm being watched. I closed my door coz im so spooked 🤣

#dreams

[cerrenium]

OKAY OKAY IDK WHAT TO READ NEXT!!

Option one: Tried and true gay romance. I took a break from this series for a book (I read To catch a firefly which was so beautiful. Bedt choice eva). I wanna return to my vampire series (and I will) BUTTTTTTT

I found ANOTHER series (non-lgbt I think. Its a horror) and I realllly wanna read it :l

#books #gay romance #horror #booklr

[cerrenium]

To catch a butterly (Emmy Sanders) is a beautiful book that transitions uniquely around the middle.

Its one of those stories that I just wanted to stretch out for as long as I could.

#to catch a firefly #romance #lgbtqiia+ #books #booklr

[cerrenium]

When I think about my desire to fall in love, a desire that has burned deeply within me since I was young, I become worried that it will never happen.

Will it ever happen? I wish I knew. If I knew, maybe then I could relax.

[cerrenium]

You know whats really creepy? When random guys who live close by randomly indicate that not only do they watch you but that they know details about you from watching you.

And it is only guys who have ever said anything like that. Ever.

The creepiest was this guy who approached me at my house to ask me if I wanted his exgirlfriends old books (coz he always saw me reading outside), but they were all in spanish? I was just like, "uh sure?"

NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN. I was just like WTF?

#creepy #creeps #creepy guys