canadianmilkbag

[canadianmilkbag]

Googles gmail verification system is your great grandmother with dementia who points a shotgun to you when you open the door like you weren’t just there this morning and also her grandchild.

Google please jts me don’t you remember I did the two step number already

[canadianmilkbag]

Bestie discovers memories

Do u guys ever have like gay visions but of the past

[canadianmilkbag]

My kidnapper said I can stay in your cell tonight but only if it’s ok with your kidnapper

[canadianmilkbag]

Shoutout to all of my elementary school teachers who called me “a pleasure to have in class”,,, just grow balls and say you think I have autism

[canadianmilkbag]

manager of a restaurant comes to my table to ask if everything is alright I start sweating like my job is on the line,, everything is fine sir please let my family go ,, ,

[canadianmilkbag]

famous 90’s twin actors, mentally ill and alcoholic onset

[canadianmilkbag]

need an astrology girl to follow me and read my every action like a guardian angel

[canadianmilkbag]

just had a thought!! no i will not elaborate further

[canadianmilkbag]

y’all domt appreciate how hard I’m fighting. I could be mansplaining the Minecraft lore to you rn but look at that,, im not,, ur welcome xoxo

[canadianmilkbag]

call me chick fil a bc it’s my pleasure

#chick fil a #incorrect quotes #chicken

[canadianmilkbag]

Explain this to an Amish person

Thomas Jefferson Hatsune Miku binder is my SmileDog.jpeg

[canadianmilkbag]

Thomas Jefferson Hatsune Miku binder is my SmileDog.jpeg

#thomas jefferson #hatsune miku #amish country #incorrect hamilton quotes

[canadianmilkbag]

*ghost sounds*

Me: I better go check that out.

*camera cuts to me creeping down my hallway in my nightgown and cap, but instead of a lit candle; I’m carrying a lamp, and the cord is knocking down everything behind me*

[canadianmilkbag]

Daedalus watched in horror as his son, iCarly, flew too close to the sun

#funny #daedalus #icarus falls #icarly

[canadianmilkbag]

I’d love to lean on my wrought iron balcony railing, under a bright moon, breathing in the cold night air as I take long drags out of a cigarette- except smoke taste bad and smell bad and cigarettes are bad and im scared of the dark

#coquette #parislife #smoking #i have asthma

[canadianmilkbag]

Liking Ed Sheeran feels like a punishable offense. I feel shame, yet my heart yearns to hear Galway Girl

#ed sheeran #galway girl #confession

[canadianmilkbag]

those are some big words coming from someone who can’t even do a cartwheel

#fun facts #funny image #funny stuff