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Feeling in Chaos - Fall pt. 2 | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f) reader

Genre: drama, angst, smut

AU: art college!au, friends to lovers, best friend’s brother

Wordcount: 12,670

Summary: It’s time to talk about it.

Rating: M / 18+

Warnings: Language. Grief. Panic attacks. MC has PTSD and is learning how to get through it. Jealousy. Self-loathing. Ryujin’s trying. Koo’s going through something. Possibly problematic friendship/relationship.

Smut Warnings: None, just mentions of the smut in the previous chapter.

AN: Ah, so…surprise? Over two months later…This chapter has a lot going on. A lot of much needed conversations and finally some attempts to move forward. I have nothing further to add, except for my apologies for it being late. 😅Thank you to the soulmate @playmetheclassics for beta reading. ily

Banner and Divider by @classicscreations

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When you finally get to the club, you glance around to ensure Ryujin isn’t outside. You walk to the front of the line and get the security guard’s attention.

“I’m sorry, my friend is in there, she’s drunk, and I just need to get her out and take her home. Is there any way I can just go in and grab her?”

The tall buff man that could honestly give The Rock a run for his money shakes his head.

“Sorry, miss. I’ve heard that line one too many times. You’ll have to wait in line with the others.”

“Please? She’s grieving, and I just. I need to get her home before she does something she regrets.”

He only shakes his head again and points towards the back of the line. You sigh, grabbing your phone and calling her again. She answers, but you can barely hear her over the thumping bass.

“Ry? I’m outside. They won’t let me in. Come out, and we can go home.”

“Wha? Where are yo—?”

Her voice cuts off as the call ends. You groan in annoyance, getting in the stupid long line to get in the shitty building.

The sense of panic sets in again as you wait. How do you get her home? What do you say? Do you let her speak? Do you wait until she’s sober to talk? Or do you yell at her now and hope she remembers? How the fuck are you going to get her home? Yoongi was right. But, fuck, you can’t get him involved in this. You’ve already gotten too close to him tonight. You can’t do it anymore.

You go to your contacts, pressing the call button and hating yourself already. It only rings twice before he picks up.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Are you still at the studio?” Your heart cracks at the voice laced with worry.

“No, Jungkook. I left already.”

“Where are you? Because you’re not at your apartment.”

“Have you been waiting there?” Your voice falters. The image of him waiting in your apartment while you’re on the couch in your studio getting fucked and almost confessed to by your group therapy buddy flashing in your mind makes you want to scream.

He stays silent, answering your question without saying a word.

“Kookie…I need your help.” You exhale a shaky breath, trying to stay focused.

“What happened? Did he do something?” There’s a certain bite in his voice that feels like an attack on you, but you set it aside, planning on stressing over it later.

“No, Koo. He didn’t do anything. It’s Ry. She’s at this club or bar or whatever, she’s shitfaced and called me, and I’m waiting outside, but I…I don’t know how to get her home.”

He gives it a moment after your voice trails off, finally speaking again after a while.

“You want me to come get you two?” His voice is softer, but still tense, and you hate it.

“Yes, please…” you quietly admit, and you can hear the sound of his keys moving as he tells you to send the address via text and to wait for him.

This feels too familiar.

“Jungkook?” You quickly speak up before he hangs up.

“Yes, y/n?”

“Please drive carefully.” you feel your stomach twist, “get here safely, okay?”

He doesn’t need to ask why you’re saying these things. He knows. You know he knows. He reassures you he’ll be okay, hanging up only when you’re ready, and you look back down at your phone as the call ends.

Five minutes later, you’re almost at the front of the line when you see Ryujin stumbling out of the building, looking around in confusion.

“Ry!” You shout as you finally escape the line, much to the satisfaction of the people behind you. You want to run to her, but she’s still a ticking time bomb, and you’re already on edge enough that you don’t want to risk her wrath even if she was the one that called you.

“Y/n!” She shouts back, tears streaming down her face as she runs to you. You let her hug you first, hesitantly hugging her back and only tightening your hold when she starts sobbing against your shoulder.

“Hey hey hey, I’m here. It’s okay, Ry. What happened?” You don’t expect an answer and don’t let go, just letting her desperately hold onto you and cry.

When she finally lets go of you, you guide her to sit on the curb. It’s gross, but it’s away from the club goers passing by, and it’s still within sight of the security guard. Your hands never leave her, one on her back and the other gripping one of hers like if you let go, she’d vanish from you too.

You stay silent for her, watching her battle with the thoughts in her head and the words behind her ruby-red lips. You look away, down the street to see if Jungkook’s car would be in view, but you wanted to give her more space.

“I don’t blame you.” Her voice cracks, and your neck almost snaps when turning back to her.

“What?” You’re afraid to ask in case it all goes wrong.

“For…for Kai’s death. I don’t blame you. I never did.” Her grip on your hand tightens, and the tears fall again across her beautiful face. “I know it’s not your fault. But I just…I needed someone to hate, someone that isn’t me.”

Her? Why? Why would she…?

“Ry, what do you mean someone that isn’t you?”

She finally looks up at you, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she relives memories you have no idea about. Moments she wishes she could forget or do over.

“It doesn't matter now.” She shakes her head, holding your hand close to her chest. “Please, y/n. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You’re my best friend and there’s no excuse for the things I said. Please don’t hate me. I can’t lose you, too.”

You look at your best friend. The girl that was born a day before you in the same hospital. The girl that asked to draw with you on the playground. The girl that yelled at anyone and everyone that dared say anything bad about you. The girl that held you as you cried over your first heartbreak. And your second, third, fourth…

The girl that, despite coming across as perfect to the world, bared her soul, fears, and insecurities to you one night after sneaking into her parents’ liquor cabinet. The girl that promised to be by your side for forever when your parents said you’d be nothing. The girl you watched fall in love with your brother, having the most beautiful and loving relationship with him.

The girl who fell apart just as badly as you did. But instead of seeking help, she burned the world around her down, starting with you.

Her name quietly escapes your lips, but before you can say anything else, Jungkook pulls up against the curb next to you. He quickly exits the car to squat down in front of you both, eyes meeting yours briefly before turning his attention to his sister.

He looks exhausted.

“Hey, Rybread. You okay?” He gently grabs her free hand, bringing her attention away from you and to him instead. She nods, a broken sob escaping when Jungkook helps her stand, you having to stand with her because her hand is still tightly gripping yours.

“Let’s get you two home, yeah?” He gently speaks to only her, still refusing to look at you for more than a second. You carefully pull your hand away from Ryujin, watching Jungkook help his sister enter the backseat. When she’s finally in, seatbelt on, head leaning back, eyes closed, he looks back at you.

You hate the sadness in those big beautiful brown eyes. Hate the dark bags forming underneath them. Hate that you’re probably the cause of some of it.

“Are you okay to sit in the backseat or do you need to be upfront?” His question is as monotone as he can make it, but you can still pick up on the notes of concern in his words.

You open your mouth to speak, eyes glancing between the backseat and the passenger’s seat, when Jungkook shuts Ryujin’s door a little harsher than necessary, causing you both to jump.

“Upfront it is. Come on.” He mumbles, opening the passenger’s side door before returning to the driver’s seat with a huff.

You get in only when he’s put his seatbelt on and turned the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life. You put your seatbelt on, backpack across your lap and fingers toying with the straps for a moment before a big hand reaches for your left hand.

His fingers intertwine with yours, settling on his lap, his free hand on the steering wheel, effortlessly pulling away from the curb and driving off.

Your eyes stay on the road, trying to watch every car while simultaneously trying to remind yourself to breathe. At every stop light, Jungkook brings your joined hand to his chest, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand until the light turns green and you’re past the intersection.

You say nothing, forcing the fear deep down inside to deal with when you’re alone. Your right hand grips the door handle like you’re bracing for impact, and it takes everything in you not to scream to pull over. The last time you were in a car was on the way home from the funeral. You were so ready to jump out of the car on the highway, actually opening the door at one point, not caring what happened to you, only about getting out.

“You need to breathe, y/n.” His voice is gentle but still in that monotone voice. It doesn’t match the way his thumb is soothing over your hand or how tightly he’s holding it.

You hadn’t realized you were barely taking any breaths, afraid if you did, you’d scream or cry. You still don’t respond, only squeezing his hand in response as you take a deep breath, shakingly exhaling after.

“I’m trying. It’s just—” you look down for a moment, your free hand playing with the zipper on your back, “I’m too focused on not panicking. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” His voice is losing the monotone effect, and you sneak a glance at his face. His jaw is clenched, and he looks anything but soft, more stoic instead.

“I don’t know…I’m sure there’s a list of shit I need to apologize for that’s so long, I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“The top, usually.” He’s quick to respond, and you have to fight the urge to give even the smallest smile.

“The top…the top says ‘I’m sorry you met me and got dragged into this.’”

“Well, that’s a stupid apology.” He says after a moment. “You didn’t know what would happen when we were kids. If you did, I’d have many questions. One being lottery numbers.”

You quietly laugh to yourself. Eyes jumping from the roads, to your hand in his, and his face that still won’t look at you. You’re partially relieved he’s keeping his eyes on the road.

“And I’m not sorry I met you. You’re insanely frustrating at times. You drive me to be a jealous mess of hopelessness plagued by unrequited love. But I’m not sorry I met you. Not even a little bit. I’d rather have you in my life than out of it.”

You stare at him, lips parting with no words able to form. He’s confessed in various ways so many times now, and it feels like a punch in the gut every time. This time, however, feels more like a stab to the heart.

“…it’s not hopeless, Jungkook.” You swallow thickly, looking away from him and focusing on his hand wrapped around your own instead. “And it’s not unrequited…”

“Feels a lot like it…”

You say nothing, the car stopping in the apartment complex.

You barely even registered the rest of the drive home once he started talking. Your breathing was steadied, your heart rate was racing, albeit for a different reason, and you weren’t trying to escape the car.

Jungkook gets out first, walking around to get to Ryujin sitting behind you. You quietly get out, watching him try to coax her awake, eventually giving up and handing you the keys before scooping her out of the car.

You lock the car when he’s got her, following behind inside to the elevator and to the apartment, neither speaking except for random gibberish from your tipsy sleeping best friend.

He sits her down on the counter in the bathroom while you grab her a change of clothes. He leaves the both of you alone so you can help her remove her makeup and do your best to take her through her beauty routine. She'd always go on about how she could never miss a day, walking you through each step for moments like this.

What feels like ages later, you finally emerge from the bathroom, letting her change in private, and head back down to the living room. Jungkook is sitting on the armrest of the couch with palms running across his face while you lean against the wall.

The atmosphere is awkward. You don’t know what to say, so you pull out your phone, remembering your spat with Yoongi.

Y/N (3:35 am): hey. I’m home. I hope you made it back okay. I’m really sorry about what I said. You didn’t deserve that.

You hit send and watch as it switches from delivered to read within seconds. The typing bubbles appear moments later.

Yoongi (3:35 am): Apologize with pie.

A shaky giggle escapes your lungs before you can catch it, and Jungkook scoffs.

Your head snaps up to the sound, wide eyes and body frozen. He shakes his head, eyes cast to the floor. You lower your gaze back to the phone, trying to decide what to type next when he finally speaks to you.

“So why didn’t Yoongi come with you to get Ry?” You look back up at him; he’s still trying to stay neutral, a stoic demeanor that doesn’t care.

“Koo–”

“I mean, it’s kind of a dick move to let a woman walk alone at this hour, isn’t it?” He crosses his arms, repositioning his stance as if he’s uncomfortable.

“I didn’t want him to come with me. He insisted but I yelled at him…” you sigh, briefly looking back at your phone before tucking it back in your pocket. “I didn’t want him to get involved in all of this.” you gesture all around you, mostly towards Ryujin’s door and Jungkook himself.

He stares you down, tilting his head to the side and even though he’s not directly in front of you or right next to you, his stare makes you feel small. It feels suffocating - like he’s hovering above you and you’re backed into a corner.

His eyes scan your face, your bruised lips, the very light, barely there yet hickies on your neck as well as the guilty expression. His eyes widen, and the stoic demeanor is gone, replaced by one you can’t quite read, but know all too well.

“It’s not just sex, is it? There are feelings there.” His question knocks the wind out of you, and you shrink down even more.

“I don’t know.” the only response you can bring yourself to say that won’t hurt either of you.

You were wrong.

“What do you mean you don’t know? Either you like him, or you don’t.”

You open your mouth to speak, but Ryujin’s door opens just as you do. She stands at the top of the stairs in the pajamas you picked out, and she looks exhausted, eyes swollen and puffy from crying. You rip your attention away from her brother when she mumbles your name.

You rush to grab her hand, bringing her back to her room and guiding her to her bed. She gets in, but the tears start streaming again.

“He’s really gone…” she whispers, pulling the covers to her chin.

You nod, Jungkook comes in after you with water and pills for her to take. Ryujin shakes her head.

“No. The smell. He’s gone. I could sleep because I could smell him in the sheets. Now it’s gone.”

This is the longest she’s spoken to you since before the crash. And you’re still scared of her reaction to your responses. So you tell her to wait, going back to her bathroom and forcing yourself to open the cabinet he took over when he kept staying the night, finding the little bottle you were hoping to find.

You were secretly hoping to break into her room one day to find the bottle and keep it for yourself. But you kept reminding yourself she probably needed it more.

When you come back, you tell her to give you her pillow, and she obliges. You take the cap off the cologne bottle, spraying the pillow lightly as it dangles in your hand away from you. You hand it back to her, smiling a little when she hugs it, taking a deep breath.

“It smells like him…” she murmurs, laying back down, pillow resting under her head.

“I know it’s not the same, but hopefully it helps enough.” You whisper, lightly petting her hair as her eyes close and a small smile forms.

“We should buy it in bulk. So it can always smell like him.” you let out a shaky laugh.

“I’ll get right on that, Ry. Now get some sleep, okay?”

“Okay.”

You get up to leave the room, Jungkook starting to lead the way when a small hand wraps around your wrist. You turn to look at Ryujin who looks panicked.

“Y/n, you forgive me, right?”

You open your mouth to respond but, for what feels like the millionth time tonight, are cut off before you can form words.

“You do, right? You know I didn’t mean any of it. I would never. Please. Please say you forgive me.”

You say nothing, looking to Jungkook for help. He stands at the doorway, hands in his hoodie’s pocket, seemingly uninterested in this conversation. You sigh, turning back to her, gently grabbing the hand attached to your wrist to peel her off you, but her grip tightens.

“We’ll talk about this when you’re sober, Ry, okay? Get some sleep.”

“No. Not until you forgive me.”

“Ry.” your voice shakes, a piercing pain in your eyes as you can feel the tears forming.

“Y/n, please,”

“I…–”

“Ryujin, stop.” Jungkook interjects, both you and his sister looking towards the owner of the stern voice.

“Let her go. Go to bed. She’ll talk to you about it when you’re sober.”

You both stay silent, your eyes glued to her grip on your wrist, hers bouncing between you, her brother, and her hold on you. After a few moments, she finally lets go, laying back down and hugging her pillow.

“Okay. Tomorrow…” she whispers in defeat.

“Tomorrow.” you mimic the word, pulling her blanket back over her to keep her warm before finally shuffling out of the room, walking past Jungkook, who closes the door once you’re both out.

You run your fingers through your hair, steadying your breathing, so you don’t cry in front of Jungkook more than you already have.

You both lean against the back of the couch this time. Both are dead silent as you figure out who should speak first. Your eyes cast down to the floor, watching his feet shift as he tries to find a more comfortable stance.

“You shouldn’t forgive her.” You look up at him to see he was doing the same thing as you, eyes to the ground.

“What?”

“You shouldn’t forgive Ryujin.”

“Jungkook. She…she didn’t mean it—”

“No, y/n. Have you not heard the shit she’s been screaming at you? Have you not heard the shit she’s accused you of?” He turns to face you, his voice a harsh whisper.

“Do you not remember how fucking terrible she’s made your life the last two months? You’ve had to fucking sneak into your apartment, change your schedules to be the opposite of hers, so you don’t run into her.”

“I…” your words stumble over one another in your mind.

“She’s my best friend, Jungkook. She’s grieving. I…her world just got crushed. What do you expect me to do? Just sever all ties with her and leave? Leave her to be all by herself? And what about you? You’re her brother, Jungkook. If I do that with her, I do that with you. And I’m not going to do that. Not with the two people that mean more than anything to me.”

Fuck not again. Please don’t cry again.

“I’ll talk to her about it tomorrow. I won’t forgive her until I know she means it. I’m so fucking tired right now, so can we please just end this conversation?”

The words rush out in a few short breaths, tears still threatening to escape when you look at him. You can’t tell what he’s thinking. His facial expression holds many different emotions. His eyes are sad, angry, desperate, and scared.

“Fine.”

You fucked up again. Twice in one night. Way to go, y/n, you idiot.

“I’ll head home. Good luck.” He turns away from you, but before you can think it through, your hand grabs his wrist like his sister did to you moments ago.

“It…it’s almost three in the morning. Just stay here.”

You’re both staring at his wrist, captured by your fingers, and in the quiet, you give a small squeeze, pleading. But his next words feel like a direct stab to the heart.

“Is your boyfriend gonna be okay with that?”

“He’s not…”

“Please stop lying to me. Just admit there’s something there so I can try to move on, like really try.”

No.

Don’t move on.

You’re mine.

I won’t let you go.

“Koo…” the name barely falls from your lips. “I can’t.”

In the blink of an eye, he’s trapped you between his body and the back of the couch. Both hands, yours still clutching his wrist, cup your face and tilting you to look up at him.

“You can’t be honest with me? Or you can’t admit there’s something there with him?”

You close your eyes to prevent the tears, but they win, escaping down your cheeks only to be caught and wiped away by his thumbs.

Your name is a soft pleading whisper on his lips, making you want to crawl into a cave forever. You can only say the first thing that comes to your mind.

“Please…just stay.”

You feel his forehead press against yours, noses touching, lips mere inches away from his.

Just do it. Lean forward. His lips are right there. Just give in. You know it’s always going to be him.

Do it.

But you don’t, and neither does he, instead breathing out a heavy sigh, pulling away from you, and unwrapping your grip from his wrist.

“I can’t be your second anymore, y/n.”

“You’re not.” Just say it. Admit it. Fucking do it.

“I am, though. If I wasn’t, you wouldn’t hesitate. You wouldn’t look at me with all that fear in your eyes. Tell me, do you hesitate with him?”

You don’t respond, trying to find the best answer.

“Your silence is so loud, y/n.” He backs away from you, heading upstairs to your room to grab the extra blankets and pillows you’d usually have on standby for when he’d stay over. He walks back into the living room, ignoring your hurt expression.

“I’ll sleep on the couch and be out before you wake up.”

“Jungkook…”

“Stop, y/n. Just…end it there, okay?” you want to run to him, kiss him, tell him he’s number one. He will always be number one. Yoongi is nothing compared to him. You should. You should move your feet right now.

But you don’t.

You hesitate.

And instead, he sets up the bedding on the couch before looking at you again.

“Goodnight.” He turns off the living room light, covering the area in complete darkness as he lays down on the couch.

You sniffle, muttering a quiet apology before slinking away to the stairs to your room. Once the door is closed, you close your eyes and take a deep breath, screaming internally. You allow yourself five seconds to cry before opening your eyes and staring off into space in an attempt to silence the voices and the pain.

It doesn’t.

They just get louder.

You force yourself into your bathroom to turn on the shower. You watch yourself in the mirror as you slowly shed your clothing, piece by piece, like you’re removing everything that happened today with every fabric. Once you’re in your bra and underwear, you look back in the mirror at the bites and handprints on your hips where Yoongi had gripped you tight at one point.

The painting of the music notes on your thigh.

You feel sick.

You quickly shed the bra and underwear, throwing them in the trash before showering. You grab your body wash, squeezing out more than needed onto your loofah and scrubbing away at your skin.

You cry out in pain, not realizing you’re scrubbing yourself raw, trying to get the feeling of Yoongi off your skin. Anywhere he touched, breathed, or kissed suddenly felt like acid, and you needed it off you. You stay in the scalding hot shower for thirty minutes, trying to get him off your skin and out of your hair, muttering curse words the entire time.

When you finally leave the shower, you feel like you are running on autopilot. You change into some clean pajamas, dry your hair, and drag yourself through a quick skin routine, playing some music on your AirPods while doing so.

You sit on your bed, staring at your closed bedroom door. You want to open it and get on the couch with him, cuddle with him like you used to, tell him it’s always him, and just be with him in every way you can.

Stop hesitating.

You throw the blankets off you, forcing yourself out of bed and padding over to the bedroom door, opening it confidently and heading down the stairs.

But you stop halfway.

Your body stills as you listen to him lightly snoring, and you flash to a few weeks ago when he confessed to having trouble sleeping. He wouldn’t say why, he wouldn’t say if it was related to Kai, and he didn’t go any further in his explanation other than it’s hard for him to sleep lately.

So you back away from the doorway, leaving the door open, and crawl back in bed. You won’t be why he can’t get back to sleep just because you need him.

An hour later, you wake up to someone crying. You sit up in bed, rubbing your eyes to get rid of the tears you assume you’re shedding. But there’s nothing there. No tears, just a puffy and tired face.

You listen closer. It can’t be Ryujin. Her door is closed, and she’s out cold. It’s shockingly not you, which means it’s only one other person.

Jungkook?

You throw the blankets off of you, quietly rushing down the stairs and peaking into the living room. He’s on the couch, still asleep but sniffling and whimpering.

You tip-toe over to him as he lays there in his sleep, tears escaping closed eyes and body shaking in fear.

Is this what he was talking about?

Is this every night?

Why didn’t he say anything?

“Jungkook?” You try whispering his name, but he doesn’t respond. You try again, a little louder, and place a hand on his shoulder to gently shake him awake.

Gently, being the keyword.

It apparently wasn’t.

Jungkook wakes up terrified, smacking your hand away from him and cowering back into the couch in fear.

“Koo, it’s okay. It’s me. It’s y/n. I’m sorry. I’m so sor—.”

You’re pulled into a hug before you can finish apologizing, one hand grabbing your arm to pull you to him, the other wrapping around your shoulders. You instinctively crawl onto the couch, curling up with him as he buries his face in your neck, tears streaming down his cheeks as he hyperventilates in your arms.

You hold him as close as you can, your legs wrapped around him, acting as a weighted blanket.

“It’s okay. You’re safe.” You whisper against his temple, wincing a little when the hand gripping your arm finds your back, grasping your shirt. His nails dig into the skin on the back of your neck.

You give him a few more minutes to panic in your arms before easing his face away from your neck, cradling his face in your hands.

“How often has this been happening, Koo?” His eyes close, shaking his head as he tries to bury back into your neck. You stop him, pulling further away.

“Jungkook, talk to me.”

“Almost every night…”

Not again.

“Why didn’t you say anything? To me? To Ryujin?”

He stumbles over a few words, trying to figure out the answer. His hands let go of your shirt before grabbing it again seconds later, as if he has to remind himself he has control and isn’t dreaming anymore.

“It’s nothing.”

“It's not nothing, Jungkook, if you’re having nightmares again every night...”

“They’re not nightmares.”

“No?” You raise an eyebrow, “then what are they?”

“They’re just dreams, y/n.” He shuts down the conversation, and you have no choice but to follow along.

“Fine. Let’s go back to my bed and sleep there, then.”

“I’m fine down here.”

“I don’t care. I want to make sure you’re okay. Can I do that? You do it for Ry and me every day. Let someone else be there for you. Please?”

He lets out a heavy sigh before mumbling in agreement. You disconnect from him, getting off the couch and helping him get up. His eyes meet yours, and your heart cracks at the sight. His eyes are red, eyelids puffy from the tears he never shows. You frown, wrapping his hand in yours, keeping it close as you climb the stairs to your room.

He lets go of your hand as you both crawl into your bed, laying on your back to let him curl up against you. His face finds its way back between your neck and shoulder, and you can’t help the goosebumps that appear all over your body from his breath on your skin.

Neither of you say anything. Probably for the best.

You fall asleep in that position, Jungkook’s tattooed fingers mindlessly dancing along the side of your waist over your shirt. One hand tangled in his hair, softly massaging his head while your other hand rests on his forearm draped across your stomach.

For just a moment, you forget everything that’s wrong with this. For just a moment, it’s back before everything went to shit, and this was enough for both of you.

When you wake up the next morning, which was really a few hours later, you’re still in the same position. The only difference is Jungkook’s legs have tangled up with yours, and his hand found a way under your shirt, lightly holding onto your side. His touch feels scalding hot against your skin. The breathing on your neck gives you goosebumps. Your hands are still in the same position.

You’re about to wake him up when there’s a soft knock on the door before it slowly opens.

Ryujin enters quietly; her eyes cast to the ground like a child knowing she’s in trouble. You know that look all too well. It’s the same look Jungkook gave when he accidentally broke the bottle of one of your more expensive paints, letting it spill all over the floor.

Big round brown eyes, like a puppy pleading its innocence.

When she looks up, her eyes widen at seeing her brother wrapped around your body. She shoots you a questioning look, and you have no choice but to quietly whisper nightmare in hopes she doesn’t get it confused.

Her face softens with a frown at the realization of the word.

“That’s supposed to be my job…I’m supposed to be there for him when it happens.”

You sigh, your hand moving from his hair.

“We’re all still trying to figure this out, Ry. Don’t take it personally.”

“I’m not… I’m… I’m not. I just feel like I failed him. Like I failed you…”

“You’re not failing any—” You cut yourself off when Jungkook’s head moves, pressing his face even closer to your neck for a moment before his eyes open.

“Who are you talking to?” He mumbles, still half asleep. His voice is low and husky and it kills you that you have to ignore it, as well as ignore the way his hand squeezes your side as he readjusts to get comfortable.

“Ryujin’s here…”

He lifts his head to look around the room, tired eyes landing on his sister. His fingers dig into your side momentarily as the siblings make eye contact. Jungkook finally lets go of you, muttering a soft oh, and pulling away from you and out of the bed.

“I’m gonna make breakfast…” he speaks softly, giving his sister a small hug before turning back to you.

“Thank you…for earlier…” you nod in response, not sure what to say to either of them anymore.

When he leaves the room, there’s an awkward silence in the air. Ryujin’s gaze is locked on where her brother was just laying and yours is on her, trying to figure out what’s happening.

And then it hits you.

All the times she’d come over after a fight with another friend, a disagreement with Jungkook, one of the few fights with Kai, or just when all the pressures of life got too much. She’d crawl into your bed just like Jungkook did and wrap her body around yours and fall asleep in your arms.

You called it a Jeon Thing.

You opened your arms up hesitantly, second guessing if that’s what she’s thinking of. But you didn’t have to wait too long before her eyes lit up a little and she’s hurrying to crawl in next to you, replicating the position Jungkook was just in, except her head rests softly on your shoulder and the hand across your stomach is playing with the fabric rather than touching your skin.

You stay completely still, still terrified of her explosions. But they don’t come, instead she sniffles.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hmm?” You have to stay calm. Don’t give in too easily.

“I’m really fucking sorry, y/n”

“Be more specific.” You slow your breathing, making sure you’re not the one that explodes.

But maybe you should.

Ryujin buries her face in your shoulder before speaking.

“For everything. Being horrible to you. Blaming you. Saying the shit that I said…”

That’s it? That’s the apology?

Jungkook’s words from last night loop in your head rapidly, and you’re speaking before you can stop yourself, sitting up and dislodging her, forcing her to sit up facing you.

“You accused me of killing my brother, Ryujin. My brother. The one fucking person I could always count on. The one person in my family that believed in me and encouraged me to do what I wanted to do. You called me a murderer. You said it should’ve been me, Ry. You said you’d rather I have died instead of Kai. You said that about your best friend. Me. Do you hear how fucked up that is?”

Her eyes well up with tears, yours already escaping like a pro, as she fists the blankets in her hands, scared to look up.

“I…I’m sor—”

“Ry, I’m terrified of you. You know that, right? I have to fucking sneak into our apartment. I changed my schedule at school to avoid you. I fucking went to the studio last night because I never want to come home. I stay with Yoongi a few times after group therapy until I think you might be asleep because, as stupid of a decision that is, it hurts less than coming home to my best friend telling me I murdered my fucking brother.”

Ryujin opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. She continues pulling at the fabric of the sheets in front of her as you watch the gears in her mind turn, trying desperately to come up with some form of words.

This was always her weakness. Being told she did wrong, being told she fucked up, and there wasn’t some easy fix. One time in high school, she was so sleep-deprived from studying the night before a midterm, that she mismarked every answer on the scantron, thinking the answers were for the question before. When the teacher told her she had failed, she lost all ability to function, too shocked to speak. You had to talk to the teacher to find out what was wrong, begging him to let her retake it the next day.

But this isn’t high school. This isn’t a test she can just retake. There is no fix for this. The only thing she can do is accept that she fucked up.

The silence is deafening, save for the sound of Jungkook downstairs in your kitchen making food and the morning hustle and bustle outside. She keeps trying to speak, but it’s getting harder and harder for you to tolerate.

“Ry…” she stays frozen. “Ry, look at me.” You grab both of her hands, stopping her from potentially ripping your sheets. When she finally looks up, tears running down her face, you give her a tiny comforting smile.

“I love you, Ryujin. You know I do, and I always will,” you start, and she whispers I love you, too back, smiling through the tears. “Our bond is unbreakable, and you and I both know we will always be there for each other through thick and thin. But this? The things you said? Ry, I can’t just easily forgive you when you say sorry.”

“I…I know. But what do I do? How? How do I fix this?”

“You can’t. That’s the problem. This is something that only time can fix, and I wish that wasn’t the case. But I’m scared of being around you right now, Ry. Even right now, I’m afraid you’ll launch an attack and spew vile accusations at me.”

“No. I won’t. I won’t do that. Ever again.”

You smile, but it falters fast.

“I don’t think it’ll be okay until you take the initiative to get help. Talk to someone, Ry—a professional. And stop drinking so much, eat something, design your pretty dresses again, work on the showcase, and take time for yourself. It sucks, it’s scary, and it sounds miserable, I know. But until you come back to being my Ryujin? I can’t do this with you anymore.”

Her eyes widen, hands gripping yours.

“What does that mean?”

Suddenly it’s hard to look at her. You’ve been sitting on this decision for a while but didn’t think you’d ever have to make it officially.

“I think it might be better for us both if I move out for a bit…”

“…no”

“Ry…” she shakes her head repeatedly. “We need to figure this out separately. I can’t baby you into getting help. And you can’t deal with me and my bullshit while you’re trying to heal. I’ll still be here when you need me. I’ll be here if you need help with your project. I’m not leaving, leaving. I could never leave you. You’re my person.”

“But where are you gonna go?”

“I…don’t know. Maybe the studio?”

“But there’s no shower there.”

Fuck. There isn’t.

“What if you stay with Jungkook?”

Your face heats up at the idea of living with Jungkook, but your stomach drops at the idea of being so close to Kai’s stuff.

“I don’t think I can…”

“He’s miserable, you know.” Her voice softens, and her hands move out from under yours to be the ones holding on this time.

“I think he’s afraid to be alone. He hasn’t talked about Kai unless someone starts the conversation, but he shuts it down fast. He’s so focused on you that I don’t think he’s realized how much help he needs. Maybe staying with him can help.”

“I didn’t ask him to focus on me.” You try not to sound defensive. She knows that, choosing to ignore the tone.

“We both know he didn’t choose to. It’s a part of who he is. You are a part of who he is, no matter what.”

Are you, though? Or is he a part of who you are? He could replace you so easily if you just let him go. You know that. He must know that. Maybe that’s why he wants you to tell him to move on. That you and Yoongi are a thing.

He wants to replace you with anyone who makes him less sad.

Anyone but you.

“Hey,” Ryujin’s voice cuts through your thoughts, your eyes looking up at her in a panic. “I see where your mind is right now. Stop whatever it is you’re thinking.”

“But—”

“I don’t care. Whatever you’re telling yourself to make yourself think he wouldn’t want to have you by his side every moment of every day is a lie, and you know it.”

You don’t respond, mind running a mile a second, and all you want to do is go back to sleep.

“I…I understand if you feel you need to move out and get some space from me temporarily. I would never hold that against you, y/n. But please go with someone I know so I can know you’re okay. What even is a Yoongi?”

Your body freezes at his name. Of course she doesn’t know Yoongi. Of course she doesn’t know you’re sleeping with someone from group therapy. Of course she doesn’t know you went to the studio with him last night and fucked on your couch while you only thought about Jungkook.

“A mistake. I think…” your gaze stays focused on Ryujin’s hands holding yours, eyes burning from the tears threatening to return for the nth time.

“Y/n…you’re doing it again, aren’t you?” She’s careful not to sound judgmental, but you can still feel it.

“No. No. I’m…I’m not.” You shake your head, shutting your eyes tight. “I’m trying not to. It’s just sex. But last night…I fucked up. And then you called. And then we argued. And then Jungkook…”

She stays silent, and it drives you crazy that you can’t read her mind.

“I’m gonna end it with him. Whatever it is. I can’t…keep doing this. I’m tired, Ry. I’m so fucking tired.”

“I know, babes. And I know a good amount of it is my fault, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.”

You try to speak, but nothing comes out as her thumbs rub back and forth on the back of your hands just like Jungkook was doing last night.

“What if I temporarily move out instead? You stay here. I’ll stay with Jungkook and stay in Kai’s room. You can stay here and try to heal on your own terms. It’ll be less stressful for you. You don’t always have to be the one making changes to your life for others, y/n. Let us make changes instead.”

You finally look up at her. Both of you have tear-stained faces, but she’s holding a smile that breaks your heart.

“Ry…”

“I’m doing it. I’ve decided.”

You smile back at her briefly.

“Are you sure you’re even ready to go in his room? I went to his studio last night and couldn’t breathe.”

She pauses momentarily, eyes on the ceiling as she thinks.

“I think…I think I’m ready. I mean… No one will ever be with something like this, right? It’s always going to be scary. It’s always going to hurt. Even the smallest task will sometimes feel like a punch in the gut, right?” She takes a deep breath, seeing you smile again.

“I miss him. I think being around his stuff can help me.” she quietly speaks.

“Yeah?”

She smiles, nodding. There’s something in her expression that is still broken. Something you must not know about. But you don’t question it. Everyone has their secrets. You tell yourself that she’ll talk about it when she’s ready..

She doesn’t let you try to dissuade her, instead getting off your bed and dragging you to the kitchen where Jungkook has put together a full breakfast.

He turns to you both, eyes widening at your hand in hers before looking at you.

“Everything good?” He asks slowly. You nod silently, letting go of her hand to grab a plate and scoot past him to pile some pancakes on with some eggs.

“Hopefully soon, yes,” Ryujin answers for you, looking nervously at her brother. “But I’m moving in with you for a bit. Until we figure out how to be, I guess…” she copies your moves, grabbing a plate and scooting past her befuddled brother.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“She wanted to move out to put some space between us. I offered instead. I’m going to stay in Kai’s room…”

“But…” he starts, but you interrupt.

“But we haven’t gone in there yet. We’re gonna do that tomorrow morning. If you want to join, we can do it together. Maybe it’ll help you, too.”

“Yeah, JK. Y/n said you’ve been having nightmares again. And I know you’ve been sleeping on our couch more than your bed. Maybe having someone else there can help you?”

Jungkook stares at you both, sitting on opposite sides of the table with the same amount of food on your plates. Neither looking at him. Both making decisions without him. He grips the counter with both hands, pushing down every emotion. You almost miss it when you look up.

“Jungkook? Are you okay?” You move to get up, but you hesitate, again, when he closes his eyes and nods.

“I’m fine.”

Liar.

“Don’t you have group therapy tomorrow morning?” He changes the subject back to you, an easy task for him. It’s easier to focus on you, Ryujin, school, work, anything and everything but himself.

Your eyes drop back down to your food, pushing it around.

“I’m not going.” You state, hoping he doesn’t question it further.

But of course, it’s Jungkook.

“Why not?”

Your chest tightens, your throat closing in on itself. When did it get so hot? Are you sweating? Is that your heart or your brain pounding?

“I don’t feel like going.” You try sounding confident, but your voice shakes, betraying you.

“Y/n.” Your eyes meet his, begging him to drop it.

“Jungkook, if she doesn’t want to go, she’s not going. Let her make decisions for herself.”

“I’m not telling her what to do, Ry. I’m trying to help her.”

“Sounds like the same thing.”

Both of you, stop. Please.

“It’s not, though. If she wants to learn to grieve and move on in her own way, that’s what she’ll do. You can’t control her.”

“Well, obviously, but—”

Snap.

Your fist slams down on the table, dishes rattling and silencing the room.

“Please stop! Both of you. Stop talking about me like I’m not here. I’m right fucking here. Right here.”

You’re so tired of crying, of feeling. It’s exhausting. Every single little thing makes you want to cry. It’s ridiculous.

“Jungkook, I’m not going. I’ll go to the next one, and I still have my regular appointment with Dr. Adams on Monday. But I’d rather help Ry, okay?” You wait for him to nod in understanding before turning to his sister.

“And Ry. He is trying to help. He’s been pushing me to do what I want to avoid, and I appreciate it. I’d still be curled up in my room if it wasn’t for him. So if he has to be pushy, it’s for a reason. Leave it.”

She nods, and everything goes silent.

This is why you need space.

This is suffocating.

“I have to get ready for class. I have to head back to the studio and pick up my canvas, so I need to leave in twenty minutes…” you get up from the table, rinsing the plate before placing it in the dishwasher.

“Thank you for breakfast, Koo. It was delicious.” You try walking past him, but a hand lands on your stomach, preventing you from leaving.

“Do you want a ride? You seemed more or less okay with it last night.”

You should say no. You want to distance yourself from everyone right now. You need to distance yourself. Everything is happening all at once, and you should say no, walk to the studio, and walk to campus.

But it was easier being in a car with him.

But you should say no anyway.

“Okay…I’ll get ready quickly.” You whisper, walking past him when his hand moves.

You hear the two of them whisper as you climb the stairs, but you’re too tired to care, so you slink back to your room. You grab your phone to charge it while you get ready, ignoring the notifications glaring at you as you plug it in and walk away.

When it’s time to leave, Ryujin is already back in her room, making a list of things to bring to Jungkook’s while he’s sitting on the couch, keys in hand.

The walk to his car is quiet. Getting in is just as silent, but he repeats the night before, grabbing your hand in his and holding it close to his chest through every intersection it takes to get to the studio. When he parks in his usual spot, his squeeze tightens on you, head lolling back against the headrest.

He looks nervous. He feels nervous. His hand is getting sweaty while his grip switches between a death grip and shaking, barely holding on.

“Jungkook?” You inquire softly, waiting for him to give some sign that he's okay. “Do you wanna come in?”

He exhales a small breath, shaking his head.

“I don’t think I can.”

You shift in your seat, removing your seatbelt and grabbing the hand wrapped around yours. His eyes find yours, and you’re right. He’s scared.

Is this how you looked last night?

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Koo. It sucks. The second you step into the studio, you’re back at the moments before finals. You go into his studio, and you fully expect him to be in there working his ass off on whatever assignment he has. But he’s not. And it’s like having to relive that night all over again. And it fucking sucks.” You sniffle, playing with his tattooed hand.

“And I know the last thing you want me to do right now is mention Yoongi,” he groans out a small laugh, and the corner of your lips twitch into a smirk, “but he made a good point, Koo. The longer you hold off on doing this, on going into the rooms, reliving the memories with him, talking about him, the more it’s going to hurt you.”

He sighs, closing his eyes. “I’m going to pretend he didn’t say that and that it’s just you being all wise.”

“Well, I am all wise. We’ve established this many times.” You both grin, enjoying the brief moment of normalcy before he agrees to go in with you. His hand never leaves yours, but this time you’re the one rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand.

When you both reach the the front door, you unlock it, letting go of his hand. You give him a second before he opens the door fully, letting him step inside first.

You watch him from the front door as he stands in the middle of the living area, eyes scanning every inch of the room. When he turns back around, facing you, his eyes cast to his studio room.

You can’t decipher the look on his face.

He’s so good at pretending to be okay that it makes it impossible to read him sometimes. He looks as if he’s dazed; his mind is far away from the studio to somewhere you don’t know.

“You good?” You hesitantly ask, taking two steps closer to him.

He blinks a few times, eyes finding your worried expression before offering a small smile.

“I’m okay. I need to get something from my room. A lens I need for class.”

“Oh. Okay.” You nod, expecting him to move, but he’s standing perfectly still. “Well, I’m going to get my canvas and clean up really quickly since I left abruptly last night…” you quietly walk to your room, turning to see him finally at his door, fingers hesitating over the pin pad before finally putting in the number and walking in.

You enter your room, your canvas still leaning against your old ones. Black and white still. Paints dried up on the palette, and brushes stiff as a result. You dump the brushes into a jar of water and the palette onto the desk, making a mental note to return later tonight to clean up correctly. You swear you see a hint of purple as you put the canvas in a tote after ensuring it was dry.

You turn and are greeted by the cat painting Yoongi was obsessed with. Should you still give it to him? Even if you plan on ending things? You don’t want it, and it would look good in a cat cafe. If anything, you could give it to the cafe directly.

God, you don’t want to talk to Yoongi. But you don’t want to ghost him completely. And before the sex, he was actually starting to be a good friend and an excellent partner in helping each other through your traumas.

You look at the couch, resisting the urge to deep clean every inch of it. Maybe a new couch. One that won’t make you feel dirty and wrong every time you look at it.

You have to apologize. And you have to cut ties with him.

You have to.

You’re just going to hurt him in the end.

You’re so good at hurting people.

You hear the beeping of a keypad, turning your head to the doorway before grabbing your tote, setting the cat painting aside, and leaving your room.

Kai’s door is open.

“Jungkook?” You softly call out, leaving the tote on the couch in the living area. You call out his name again, slowly approaching your brother’s room. Your heart breaks at the sight.

Jungkook’s sitting on the small couch with his knees pressed to his chest and his arms around his shins. His head is buried in between his knees, but he’s silent.

“Koo?” You try again, slowly approaching, moving some of Kai’s scattered papers out of the way, and sitting next to him.

When he still doesn’t respond, you stop trying. You’ll sit and wait by his side, ready to be there for whatever he needs.

The most important rule in helping someone grieve: never push them to grieve how you think they should. Just be there when they’re ready.

A mantra of sorts drilled into your brain in group therapy.

His body finally moves, his back rising suddenly as he takes a deep breath before slowly letting it out and raising his head. He doesn’t look at you, instead looking at the room he’s in. The same way you did the night before.

His face is flush, like he was forcing himself to hold his breath. His eyes are dry, and he looks exhausted.

“How did it go last night, coming in here?” He finally asks, head leaning back to rest on the couch.

You flatten your hands on the couch, sliding them back and forth to feel the texture. It’s a nice distraction to keep your hands apart and not claw at your skin.

“I had a full blown panic attack. Felt like I was dying. Like my brain was on the verge of exploding, and I kept hearing voices screaming, and I couldn’t see.” You let out a nervous laugh, keeping your eyes on the couch.

“Voices?”

“Uh…yeah. Like, like my own thoughts, but amplified. I don’t know how to explain it…I’d rather not try, honestly.”

“You don’t have to.” He whispers, a hand stopping one of yours and softly holding onto it.

“How’d you get through it?”

“Jungkook…”

“What?”

“Stop…doing that.”

“Stop doing what?”

“Diverting. You already know the answer. When I say Yoongi got me through it, you’re going to say something about how I feel about him, and then we’ll fight. You know it’s always going to be you in the end. I don’t understand why you keep saying it’s so one-sided when it’s clearly not. It’s just messy and complicated right now, okay? I don’t want to have that scene play out again. Specifically not here.”

He doesn’t respond, instead, staring at your hand in his, his thumb running over your ring finger. Your eyes flick up to his face, jaw clenched tight and eyes sad. There’s no sparkle in them like there usually is, and you’re not sure how long they’ve been so dull.

How have you not noticed that?

“Have you allowed yourself to cry yet?” You hesitate to ask, but you have to. It’s been months since Kai passed, and you haven’t seen him cry since the crash or last night in his sleep. You want to be wrong. Please let him tell you you’re wrong.

“No.” His voice cracks as he shakes your head, and you can feel your heart drop with it.

“Koo. You have to let it out at some point. Or else you’ll be stuck and have those nightmares forever.”

You turn your body to face him better, bringing your entwined hands to your lap.

“I’m scared.” He shuts his eyes tight.

“Scared of what?”

“If I cry, I’m scared I’ll never stop.”

“Koo…”

And that’s all it takes for the dam to break, tears streaming down his face as he begins to sob. He buries his head back into his knees and lets the floodgates open. You do nothing. You don’t want to. You want him to finally let it out and focus on himself and his own grief.

So you sit.

And you wait. His hand stays in yours as he finally lets go of months of emotional trauma, stress, and fears.

You’ve only seen Jungkook cry like this once. It was after his parents divorced just before he graduated high school. He had so much going on, from finishing up high school to getting accepted to the same school as you and Ryujin. He had finals, projects, an internship, a part-time job, and a social life.

All at the same time as he watched his parents argue, his mother packing up her stuff and moving out the day after his graduation. It became too overwhelming for him. He pushed everything down as far as he could and pretended he was fine.

But you could see it in his eyes. Just like now, that sparkle was gone. He barely spoke, and if he did, it was about anyone else. He just focused on finishing the day and praying no one talked to him the entire time.

Until one day, you both went to a street fair to celebrate high school being over. There were a few booths with carnival games and one that let you break plates. You dragged him over, encouraging him to destroy some ceramic dinnerware and let it all out. He did, but after breaking a good handful of plates, it was as if something in him snapped.

You rushed him out of the booth, taking him to a darkened alley to fully cry in peace. He hated crying in front of others. He hated the idea of people perceiving him as weak. You’ve told him many times it doesn’t, but you still take him somewhere quiet and safe when you know he’s upset.

He cried in your arms in that alley for thirty minutes, finally letting you take him home and having him fall asleep in your arms.

You’re pulled from the memory when Jungkook’s hand pulls yours closer. You shift on the couch, wrapping your arms around him as he curls into your side. His tear stained face finds its home in the space between your neck and shoulder, his hands tightly grabbing at any part of you he can like you’re his lifeline.

In a way, you are, to him at least.

Just like he’s yours.

He cries in your arms for what feels like fifteen minutes, random words stumbling out of his sobs, followed by questions that will never get answered and wishes that will never be granted. You continue to stay silent, only ever whispering that he’s okay, he’s safe, and to let it out. Every now and again kissing the top of his head when he grew silent, clutching him harder when the sobs returned stronger.

Somewhere in the living room, your phone rings. You ignore it.

Not right now.

It rings again. You bury your face in Jungkook’s messy curls, focusing on the smell of his conditioner instead.

Please stop.

On the third call, Jungkook lifts his face from your neck just enough to look at you.

“You should get that.” His voice is a hoarse whisper. Your hand softly cradles his cheek as you shake your head.

“Nah. My top priority right now is making sure you’re okay.”

He smiles. It’s broken and weak, but it’s there as he pulls away from you, sitting up straight and rubbing his hands across his puffy face.

“I’m okay.” He mumbles behind his hands, “I’m puffy and probably need to rehydrate. But I’m okay.”

“We can wrap an ice pack in a towel to reduce the puffiness. And there’s water in the fridge, I’m sure.” You mimic how he sits, brushing some of his hair out of his face.

“Mmm. We should do a spa day. Once you and Ry are a little better, that is.”

“I look forward to it. Full on facemasks and mani/pedis.” It's a soft whisper. You do genuinely hope there will be a time when you three can go back to normal. Or as normal as you can without your brother.

“You sure you’re okay, Koo?” He nods, but you shake your head. “I need you to promise me you’ll stop blocking everything out. We’re all hurting. We’re all scared of a future without him. We’re all going through this together. You don’t have to always try to be the big brave hero.”

“But then what am I? I feel like I need to be something or do something so I’m not…so I don’t—”

“Remember that he’s gone?”

He’s silent for a moment, eyes dancing around his best friend’s studio where he’s spent countless hours pacing the floor while Kai was at his desk or on the couch talking about complete nonsense, complaining about Ryujin or ranting about your latest relationship failures.

“Yeah…” his head drops, eyes falling to the floor in defeat. “I just want to forget. Focusing on anything else helps with that.” You stop yourself from reaching out to touch him again, instead placing both your hands on your lap, twiddling your fingers in place.

“Jungkook?” You tilt your head to the side, eyebrows knit together as you focus on your hands, carefully forming the words in your brain before speaking again.

“Kai’s gone. He died. I was there. I held his hand as he died. So, I understand wanting to forget that he’s gone and distracting yourself from remembering. But I relive that moment every day. I don’t have that same luxury you do of being able to forget. I wake up every morning thinking this is a sick nightmare and that he’ll be on the couch or in the kitchen stealing our food. But then he’s not. And I have to remember what it felt like to hold his hand for the last time. I have to remember watching them take his body away.”

You don’t even realize you’re crying until the feeling of Jungkook’s hands holding yours makes you flinch, causing the tears to fall on them.

“So please, please, understand what I’m saying when I say how lucky you are that you have that option to forget, but also how ridiculous and rude it is to Kai to want to forget that he’s gone.”

“Y/n…that’s…I would nev—”

“He was your best friend, Jungkook. He always will be in a way. He would've been your brother-in-law once he and Ry got married. Don’t do that disservice to your best friend by trying to forget that he died. Forget the fights, forget the disagreements and all the bad moments you had with him. That’s fine. But don’t forget Kai, okay?”

He remains silent, lips shut tight, and eyes watering again. But he nods, squeezing your hands with his as a quiet okay escapes his lips.

Your phone rings a fourth time, and you groan, letting go of Jungkook’s hands and getting up. You stomp over to your phone and glare at the screen.

Mother (7) Missed Call

Mother (12) Text Message

Father (1) Text Message

Yoongi (3) Text Message

You put your phone on silent, slipping it into your backpack all the way at the bottom.

The door to Kai’s room closes, and Jungkook appears behind you.

“Was that Yoongi?” His voice carries no negative tone for once, no malice or anger. You shake your head, picking up the canvas tote that’s quickly taken away from you by Jungkook.

“My mother…” your voice trails as you watch him walk towards the front door. He grimaces in your direction when your feet finally catch up to him.

“Gross.” He steps out of the studio, letting you lock the door. You both silently head down the elevator and back to his car, where he waits until you both have your seatbelts on and your hand is back in his when he pulls out of the parking space.

“What does she want now?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to know. Probably asking when I’m gonna come back home and get a real job now that they’re left with the lesser child.” You scoff, eyes on the road.

“That or she already wants me to make plans for Christmas. Which I don’t want to think about at all.”

Jungkook smirks, bringing your hand to his chest at a stop light. It takes you a second until you realize you’ve made it several blocks without your heart rate skyrocketing. Your eyes have been watching every car just like last night, but it feels less stressful.

Because it’s him. It’s always him.

“Why is it always you?”

“Hmm?” The light turns green, and he steps on the gas. The feeling of panic is still there. But you’re able to push it back down. You don’t say anything, and he doesn’t question you further as he pulls into the school’s parking lot.

He exits the car first, helping you out next and putting your canvas tote on his shoulder. His hand finds yours again as you both walk to the art building in silence.

“So when do I get to see the painting?” He questions, handing you the tote.

“At the showcase.” You smile at his pout.

“But that's months away.”

“Exactly. I don’t think I want anyone important to see any of it until then. It’s hard enough that I can’t see the colors right now. I don’t need other people seeing whatever mess I’ve made.”

“I’m sure it’s beautiful. Just like everything you create.” His hand squeezes yours, and you smile at the feel of his hand wrapped around yours. Your safety blanket.

“I can’t wait to see your showcase next year. It’s gonna be great. You should use that one photo you took when we all went on that hike and saw all those stars.” You grin, the memory is still so bright and real in your mind. The meteor shower you wanted to see so badly that you convinced the three of them to hike up a mountain with you just to see it.

“You and that damn mountain. You bamboozled us.” Jungkook groans.

“Excuse me. You said you had fun and would do it again!”

“Only if you wanted to. And had a better reason. And without Ryujin. She complained the entire time. Even Kai was getting annoyed.”

“Okay. We’ll go back, just the two of us, the next time there’s a good meteor shower.”

“It’s a date.”

You nod, but don’t respond. That phrase suddenly has such a bigger meaning than it did before. Instead, you focus on climbing the stairs to the third floor and approaching your classroom. His voice eventually breaks you out of your racing thoughts.

“Do you want a ride home tonight?”

“I need to actually clean my brushes from last night. So I’ll be at the studio. Besides, isn’t your last class later than mine?”

“Fair. I can come get you after? Or bring food?” Your silence makes him panic, “or not. I just hate the idea of you out on your own so late…that’s all. I’m not trying to control you or anything.”

“No, no. I get it. Yeah. Come by after class. That’s fine. I just. I don’t know. Sorry.” You shake your head, gripping the straps to the tote. Confused, Jungkook opens his mouth to ask you to clarify what you’re saying, but the sound of his and your name from down the hall stops him.

Your eyes find the source of the shout and land on Joshua and Jimin. Joshua glances down to your hand in Jungkook’s before shooting you a smirk. You let go out of instinct and readjust your grasp on your tote with both hands and avoid how Jungkook looks at you.

“Hey, Jimin. How’s your second to last year so far?” You smile at him. His face flashes from confusion towards Jungkook to the same friendly smile you have towards him.

“It’s great! Frustrating moments when my equipment decides not to function, but that’s expected. How—, uh, how’s your painting?”

You can’t blame him for sounding hesitant. You haven’t seen Jimin since the funeral, and with the way everything that happened that day, you’d be treading lightly too.

“It’s…going. I’m trying to change the way I paint. I’m not excited about the showcase, though.”

“Oh, yeah. Taehyung’s been going on about it. You two have a lot to do, huh?” You smile at the mention of his boyfriend, missing the nights you’d invite them out to drink with the rest of the sQuad.

“Yeah. I’m not sure how to get it all done in time. But I can’t wait to see what Taehyung does.”

He smiles in return, and it’s suddenly awkward. You don’t know what you’re supposed to say next. Jimin looks just as lost, and Joshua is on his phone. Jungkook sniffs for the sake of making a noise.

“We should go out to that karaoke bar again soon.” His voice breaks the silence, the three of you looking up at him.

“I think that’s a great idea.” Joshua chimes in, “but first, we have a class that starts in forty-five seconds. See ya, friends.” He grabs your wrist, spinning you around in the direction of the classroom, dragging you with him.

“Shua, class starts in ten minutes. Not forty-five seconds.” You whine as he sits you down in your seat, sitting next to you after going across the room and coming back with two blank canvases, setting one on his easel and the other on yours.

“I know. But I needed to get you away from Jungkook so you could tell me why y’all were holding hands.” He grins, turning to face you once his stuff is set up.

“This isn’t elementary school, Joshua. We can hold hands without it being anything.” You glare at him, slowly pulling your tools out of your bag, and placing them neatly on the table next to your easel. You grab a second easel, a much smaller one, and place it next to the big window.

“While that is true, y/n, it’s you and Jungkook. Everything either of you do with one another means something. Always has been, always will.”

You look down at your canvas tote with a frown. He’s not wrong. That’s how you two are. Every action, every sentence, every thought. It all means something. Even if that something is meaningless to others, it’s the world to you both.

“I guess…” you sigh, opening the tote and pulling out your canvas. Suddenly very hyper aware others can see it as you set it down on the easel by the window.

“Oh, holy shit, that’s beautiful, y/n.” Joshua says, standing up to look closer, “the colors are stunning.”

“Are they…?” You squint at the painting. Some colors are just barely visible. You see the purple a little stronger, and a bit of what you think is yellow? You’re still not sure.

“Yeah, the way you blended the green with the—”

“No! Don’t tell me. I wanna wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“For when I can see the colors again.” You grin, actually feeling hopeful for once. Joshua smiles back, patting your shoulder and sitting back down. Before Joshua can question further, Professor Varon walks in exactly as class is set to begin.

“Okay, everyone! Let’s get to it! The first week is done, and now down to serious business!”

The class goes by so fast you’re not even sure you registered any information in your brain. You spent too much time glancing between the professor and your finished painting. At one point, while walking the room, he stopped by you, eyes on the finished piece as he asked you to stay after class.

Joshua packs up his stuff, saying goodbye to you with the promise of getting together for clothes shopping in a week or two. Professor Varon makes his way to your seat next to the big window once everyone is out.

“So, how was the process?”

“The what?” You look up at him, his eyes still on the painting. “Oh. Uh, shit? Yesterday after I left I went to our shared studio for the first time…”

How was that only yesterday?

“And how’d that go? Being in a place you used to spend a lot of time with him in?”

“Horribly?” You let out an exasperated laugh, “I went in his room, had a panic attack, made a horrible decision, woke up, sat in his room talking to nothing, and then finished the painting.” He gives it a beat of silence before he smiles.

“So it sounds like it went pretty well.” You both laugh as you slowly put your stuff away.

“I guess so. It felt good painting…I just kinda zoned out for a few hours, and when I came back, it was done more or less.”

“And what about the colors?”

“Joshua said there was green in it. I can kind of see purple, and I think there’s yellow. But I’ve decided to stop straining to see it.”

“That’s a good idea,” he smiles at you, “just keep painting, y/n. You’ll see it again.”

“Thank you…I’m trying.”

“That’s all you can do sometimes.” He shrugs, walking back to his desk as you put the canvases back in your tote. “And put that one in your showcase. Everyone should see it.”

Hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think, any ideas on where it’s going or any questions. The next chapter is Ryujin’s POV and oh boy is that not gonna be fun to write. 😖

#jungkook #performer: here4btsfics #p: m x reader #w: chapters #g: smut #g: angst #g: fluff #wc: 10-20k #r: 18+

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

Text

Permission | JJK

Permission

Pairing: Dancer!JJK x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞); NSFW

Genre: stripper(ish)!AU; one-night stand; fluff; smut

Warnings: cussing; alcohol consumption; lap dancing; lots of hip grinding; food play; mentions of dry-humping; dirty talk; oral (F-receiving); fingering; clit play; breast/nipple; praise kink; protected sex; multiple orgasms

Word count: 6,703 words

Summary: You get more than what you bargained for during your friend's bachelorette party weekend.

A/N: This is loosely based on a true story...with some embellishments, obvs 😅 Anyway, if any of you ever get a chance to go to Magic Mike Live in Las Vegas--it's a good time 😏

The visual is Esquire!JK or ON!JK during MAMA practice 👀 The song during the lapdance scene is Jodeci's Freek'n You ; while the title was taken from Ro James' song. I've been really inspired by a lot of slow jams lately so--get all those body rolls in!

Five pairs of heels hot-footed their way through the marble floor. You and your friends rushed through the final course of your dinner and hopped into a rideshare hoping to make the scheduled show.

“Shit…is it this way?” Your friend, Leia, calls past her shoulder while you all walk aimlessly around the casino floor.

“I’m pretty sure,” Myla says unconvincingly while looking through overhead signage for directions to the theater. Still, you follow her lead as she speed-walks through the crowd.

“A-ha! There’s the escalator!” She exclaims. She was here not so long ago with her boyfriend for an anniversary trip and reported back as they did an advanced ‘walkthrough’ of where the show was located.

The show in question was supposed to start at 7:30 and it was nearly 10 minutes past that time after you all practically jogged toward the rideshare pickup area. You kept glancing at your phone’s clock…you knew you’d be late. You just hoped that you didn’t miss too much when you finally arrived at the door.

“What if they give away our spot? Or worse, what if they won’t let us in?” Yuna asked in a panic while trying to adjust her “Bride-to-Be” sash around her shoulder and waist.

“And why would they do that? We paid for these tickets last month!” You reasoned.

“Exactly,” Divya agreed. “We all paid to see these men grinding shirtless onstage, damn it and nobody will get in the way of that!”

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have worn these heels,” Yuna curses when you all step onto the escalator.

“Girl, don’t worry–you look hot! When you get picked to go onstage, Soobin will be sorry he let us take you on this trip,” you giggled.

Yuna scoffed. “Well, regardless…I would have gone anyway!” Her comment elicits laughs from your whole group as you finally arrive at the door.

While the usher scans the tickets from Myla’s smartphone, Yuna leans in and whispers in your ear. “And how do you know I’m getting picked? Did you pre-arrange something?”

You cocked an eyebrow at her. “Maybe,” you mumbled then laughed as the staff guides you through the doors with his flashlight pointed to the ground.

******

You walked into a dimly lit room and were greeted by loud shrieks and whooping from audience members. You could understand why.

At center stage were 10 dancers, who were currently taking their shirts off seductively to reveal their signature washboard abs.

One of them catches your eye. He had his hair pulled back in a bun, revealing his sharp jawline. He revealed a full sleeve of tattoos on his right arm so it was easy to spot him in the crowd.

You’re so distracted by him that you trip over your feet, nearly falling onto Leia, who was walking right in front of you.

When you arrive at your table, you find two girls who had taken over your seats under the assumption that you were no-shows. The usher tries to reason with them but one of them is dismissive. Divya steps up and mouths something inaudible. She had a smile on her face but your best friend was a firecracker and you know that she didn’t sweet-talk those girls into getting out of your seats.

They finally, begrudgingly get up and move to their actual seats, which were located at a spot that had an obstructed view.

They grumbled under their breaths but Divya just smiled and waved at them. She turns to you and laughs, “What did I tell you? Nothing and no one will get in the way of me watching hot, sweaty, half-naked men grinding for me!”

You laughed and then eventually join the crowd in screaming as the female emcee introduces the next act of the show.

******

“Hey, gorgeous! Can I bring you up for the next number?” The emcee approaches your table, addressing Yuna, who had a white, bedazzled veil pinned in her hair.

She nervously looks back at your group, and then at you–who was responsible for organizing this ‘excursion.’ You all screech in excitement, goading Yuna, who screams her agreement.

The emcee takes her hand and guides her to the opposite side of the stage.

Minutes later, the music starts and the spotlight comes on. A dancer glides across the top of the bar. It wasn’t a fully-functioning one–just another flat surface that served as a stage.

Even though his face was obscured by the baseball cap that he wore, his sunshiney smile was unmistakable and contributed to his sexiness. After a few flips and smooth spins from him, more lights come on and your group screams when you spot Yuna, who was sitting at end of the bar.

The dancer kisses her hand and brings her closer. A fellow performer hands him something in his hand, which you realize is whipped cream after he pipes a bit of it into his mouth.

More squealing from the audience when he pulls her in closer and proceeds to peel his shirt off.

He gently wraps his hand under her knees and gently brings her legs up. Slowly, he lays her flat on the bar much to everyone’s delight, and does more of his dance, grinding his hips above her. He picks up the whipped cream and squeezed a little bit on her exposed thigh and licks it off.

Next, he crawls up higher, squeezed a little bit of cream on her cleavage, and seductively licks it just the same.

For his final act, he pulls on her arm to where she was sitting upright, where his bare chest is right in front of her. The song is about to fade out and he pipes a strip of cream at the center. He wiggled his finger at her to beckon her closer, and she does. You watch her lean in and stick her tongue out, just in time for the lights to go dark.

Your group and the rest of the theater go crazy.

******

After another group dance wraps up, the lights dim again and they switch to a combination of red and blue shades. The music starts to play–starting off with a brief sound of rolling thunder fading in through the speakers followed by the first few notes of the song.

I wanna freak you…were the words that echoed to the deep thump of the bass.

A few dancers sauntered out of different corners of the theater and some were coming down the steps that connected from the second-level balcony. They were dressed in black underwear and not much else. All of them were carefully scanning the room for a target.

The emcee announces a reminder, one that she’s made all throughout the show. “Remember, everyone–if you don’t want any attention from our boys, just say the safe word: ‘unicorn’ and they’ll move on with no questions asked!”

This was a free-form portion of the show where random members of the audience may get a lap dance.

When the beat dropped, spotlights were trained towards each dancer and whatever section they were in, grinding and body-rolling into consenting audience members.

Everyone, including your group, gets on their feet, screaming and cheering, hoping to get one of the dancers’ attention.

“I want that one!” Myla pointed at one of the taller dancers who was two tables down from you. “I want him to drown me in those dimples!”

“Not if I get him first,” Divya contests, putting two fingers between her lips to let out a loud, high-pitched whistle.

You laughed while your friends argued over which hot guy they wanted to dry-hump then. You briefly turn away to reach for your drink.

After taking a sip, you hear a voice calling from behind you.

“Hi.”

Your group was so distracted by one side of the theater that you had forgotten that all guys were making their rounds in both levels, and all directions.

Even in the dimly lit theater, you instantly recognize him by his full sleeve of tattoos. It was the same guy who had been trading glances with you as soon as you sat down for the show.

“Uh…h-hi,” You stutter as he approached you.

“May I?”

Your eyebrows lift when he asks for approval to dance for you. The ladies next to your table are screaming, begging for his attention but he doesn’t hear them. At this moment, his attention was solely on you.

“You may.” You smiled as the girls next to you looked deflated.

Your approval earns you his best panty-busting grin. He then scoots your chair toward him and swings his right leg over to your left side so his crotch was hovering over your thighs. Your girlfriends start screaming when he begins to roll his hips.

He takes your hands and brings them up to rest them on his well-sculpted pecs. Then, he proceeds to guide them painfully slowly down his chest. You close your eyes briefly on contact. His skin felt soft and smooth, and his scent was this dizzy mix of sweat and cologne.

“Eyes up here.” You vaguely hear his command and you obey accordingly.

You look up to see him looking down at you. The POV perspective was not lost on you. Here was this insanely gorgeous man, grinding up on your lap while your hands were on his bare chest.

Tonight, you got my time Tonight you won't be sorry Tonight, you got my mind What must I say? What must I do? To show how much I think about freek'n you

When your hands got to his waist, he guides them backward, where he rests them on his ass.

You and your girls pre-gamed back at the hotel before heading down to the theater. Coupled with the drinks you had at dinner, you were feeling bolder than usual.

You give him a gentle squeeze, followed by a playful smack. Leia sees what you did and it makes her scream louder, egging you on.

His eyebrows quirk in surprise but he chuckles softly. Without missing a beat, he grinds some more, subtly moving in closer to you…so close you could feel his breath on your cheek.

“You’ll pay for that,” he whispers darkly in your ear and continues to undulate his hips.

You laugh and decide to tease him back. “I really hope that you’d make me,” you countered. With the knowledge that you were never going to see him again, it was an empty challenge.

He smirked then slowly backed away. “I’ll remember that,” he gave a wink before sliding off you. He brought your hand up to his lips, kissed it, then moved on to a different section of screaming audience members.

When he leaves, Yuna grabs your shoulders, shaking you as she shrieks her excitement at your face while Myla, Divya, and Leia give you high-fives.

*****

Two acts later, the lights come back on onstage and one chair, placed on one side comes to view.

“I know I’ve said this multiple times but in this show, we are all about getting your permission here.” At the emcee’s announcement, a dancer comes up onstage. He had a soft, innocent-looking smile but the crinkle on the corners of his eyes showed a hint of cheekiness.

A woman with a ‘birthday girl’ sash is ushered onstage by a different dancer who had a smoldering look. He also looked sexy as hell but the bandana he wore as a headband to get his hair off his face gave him that little bit of a boyish charm.

When the smoldering guy gets off the stage, the cheeky dancer greets the audience member and beckons her to sit on the chair propped onstage.

Once she settles in, the song swells. The singer croons about asking permission from his significant other to give him the green light.

“Everyone, let’s welcome ‘Sasha!’ Sasha, will you give Jimin permission?” The emcee asks.

When she nods enthusiastically, he smiles at her and brushes his thumb to his lips before he begins his routine. He starts off slow, seducing the birthday girl with a few caresses on her cheek. He then carefully peels his shirt off before getting on her lap to grind on her.

The crowd eats it up and the woman is completely enthralled by the rest of his routine.

While everyone’s eyes are glued to the stage, a different dancer, taller and leaner with the plushest lips approaches you.

“Hi, will you come with me onstage?”

You were surprised to be picked a second time but maybe these guys lose track of whoever they give lap dances to during the show.

You were about to decline when Yuna screams, “Oh my god, yes, YN!!! Pick her!”

The dancer smiles and you relent, thinking that this was just a lucky night for you.

As you are ushered toward the stage, another chair is propped diagonal from the woman who was already there. Was this a double act? You weren’t sure.

“What’s your name, honey?” The emcee asks, pointing the microphone to you.

“YN,” you answer.

“Alright, YN! Will you give Jungkook permission?”

You whip your head around underneath the blinding stage lights, trying to identify this ‘Jungkook,’ to no avail. Then, thinking there was no way anything could go wrong, you absently shrug your shoulders and say, “Y-yes.”

You sit down as soon as the chorus fades into the next verse of the song and you feel an arm caress your shoulder. You turn your head and once the glare of the spotlight fades, your eyes widen at the sight of the same tattooed hottie, now dressed in a pair of jeans and what looked like a tear-away shirt.

Jungkook pushes your knees together and just like the first time, dances on your lap. He cupped your nape and leans in, which sends the audience into a frenzy.

Still, in a state of shock, all you can do is laugh nervously while he goes about his dance. He tears his shirt open, hands roaming over his chest and cupping himself, his hips perfectly timed with the beat.

He does a synchronized choreography with Jimin, where they switch off partners briefly so you have the other dancer grinding on you for a few bars of the song.

You were in awe of the routine. It wasn’t trashy or remotely corny. Even the way they stripped their shirts off was beautifully synchronized. It was all seductive and designed to stimulate your senses.

You’d gone to another adult male revue show once, a few years ago and even though you had a fun time, you felt that it seemed a bit old-fashioned. Not only were the men terrible dancers but the show was formatted to focus on them.

This show was different. It felt more interactive and more focused on the audience.

Every dancer there, looked as if they were all asking you what you wanted and were fully intent on giving it to you by the end of the night.

Not long after, Jungkook gets up and speaks into your ear again. “I need you to put your arms around my neck and your legs around my waist. It’s all part of the routine,” he says hastily.

“W-What?” Your pulse raised. You didn’t see any hint of this act within the customer reviews.

He cocked his head to the side and uttered, “Time to pay up!”

In a flash, he lifts you off the chair, making you instinctively grab onto his neck for support. He smacks you in the ass, making you yelp in surprise.

You were subconsciously grateful that you decided to go against the mini-dress and instead went with black jeans and a mock-neck fitted top, lest you suffer some sort of wardrobe malfunction.

He carefully lays you on the floor, gently pushing your knees apart–and at the drop of the beat, dips his head to your center, and grinds his hips against the floor.

The crowd goes wild when he rises to his knees, takes your ankles, holds them straight up with one hand, and grinds into you. He puts them down, hovers over you, and flips his body around in a 69 position with you.

Deafening screams fill the entire theater, making your eras ring.

The last thing you remember before your vision blacks out is seeing Jungkook’s shit-eating grin with pink paper bills falling around you like confetti.

******

“Oh my god! Thank you, guys, for planning this,” Yuna gleefully says to your group. “This is the best bachelorette ever!”

You snorted. “Shit, I hope it’s the only one you’re planning on having.”

“Ugh, girl! You know what I mean!” She laughed, then hugged you tightly. You all file out of the theater and take group photos, thanking the nice stranger who offered.

“Man, those guys got me so horny, I might drunk-dial my man for a little action,” Divya blurts out.

“Whatever you decide, do it in the walk-in closet, please,” Leia says.

“Speaking of horny–how bout that one guy hitting up YN twice?!” Myla teases, making the other girls pile on you.

“Guys, stop!” You wave them off. “He’s just doing his job. It’s not that deep.”

“Oh, I can tell–he really wanted to get deep into you,” Divya and Myla high-five each other.

“Whatever,” you shook your head. “Do you all still want to hang around here or head back to our hotel? I got us on the list at the club there. What do you want to do, Miss Bride-to-Be?” You turn to Yuna.

“Eh, let’s head back,” she shrugs. “Besides, I need to change out of these fucking heels. My toes are about to fall off!” She winces as you all head to the rideshare pickup area. “And then we’ll head into the club to get fucked up!”

“Hell yeah, ladies’ open bar for the win!” You yell out.

“Sheesh, I’m freaking starving. I’m thinking of heading straight for the crab legs and prime rib,” you say to Myla while your group stood in line to check in for your brunch reservations.

“At 10:45 in the morning?” She says with a quizzical look.

“It’s a buffet, My. They serve everything once it opens.”

After crawling back up to your suite a little after 2AM this morning, it was a shock that your whole group managed to wake up and get ready in time to make your way to the buffet at your hotel.

“I don’t know about you guys but I’m down for bottomless mimosas,” Divya remarks.

“Me too,” Yuna says.

Leia, who just handed her credit card to the cashier turned her head to address the rest of you. “Me three! Also, I’m pretty sure I had a dream about one of the guys from last night,” she quipped.

You yawn, trying to keep yourself awake while your girlfriends reminisce about your wild night out.

Myla teases Yuna about being so drunk that she wanted to Facetime-sex her fiance, Soobin, from the club’s bathroom. Unfortunately, she passed out from having one too many shots. Sometime in the middle of the night, she apparently admits to dry-humping Divya, whom she shared a bed with last night.

Yuna embarrassingly apologizes. “Girl, if you wanted to dry-hump, you could have told me. I brought my teenie mini on this trip,” Divya says, making Myla laugh out loud.

Leia’s ears start to ring. “Speaking of dry-humping, I still can’t get over the action that YN got last night!”

Your cheeks start to heat up at the memory–you did have a lot to drink last night and may have said some naughty things to one of the dancers. But you weren’t going to see him again so you laugh it off in an effort to move on from the subject.

“Are we still on that?” You laughed. “I mean…fine, it was pretty wild but you guys are making a big deal out of nothing. I’m sure they have to do that several times a night to audience members–based on the reviews I’ve read online, at least,” you say in an attempt to rationalize the situation.

“I don’t know,” Divya says. “He was pumping his hips awfully hard when you guys were onstage!”

“Ooh look at those crab legs!” You exclaim loudly.

That seemed to be the magical word to get the heat off you. Deep down, you wished you didn’t have other plans today since you seriously contemplated seeing the show again. Then again, this trip wasn’t about you–it was about celebrating Yuna and your friends who wanted to indulge in a wild weekend, without spouses, kids, or significant others.

******

With two plates full of meat and seafood, you carefully make your way back to your table. But you abruptly stop when you notice staff setting out some braised pork belly.

“Dee!” You call out to Divya. “Help me get a plate!”

She stops to turn to you only to say, “Do you see how full my hands are? Just come back for it later.”

You let out a pathetic whine when you see several patrons grabbing one plate after another.

You curse under your breath, torn between abandoning one of your plates to pick up some pork belly.

“Need some help there?” A male-sounding voice asked.

You whip your head around in confusion. Your mouth falls open when you see who was offering to assist you.

“Uhm–h-hi,” you say to the same man who gave you a lapdance and essentially dry-fucked you onstage in front of hundreds of people.

******

It was like a scene out of a movie. A bunch of male entertainers randomly running into a party of women who were in town for a bachelorette party, at a buffet–out of all the other buffets this city had to offer. You couldn’t have planned it better yourself.

Your parties pushed your tables together as chatter flowed casually. Jungkook sat next to you while his buddies, Jimin, Namjoon, and Hoseok chatted away with your girlfriends.

“How long are you in town for?” He asks you.

“We’re leaving tomorrow.” You answered.

His face faltered slightly. “I see. Early flight?”

You shook your head. “No, after lunch. Some of my friends will probably need some time to recover. They plan on staying up all night, trying to tick all of the boxes for this trip,” you laughed.

He laughed as well. “That’s cool. And a buffet is on your checklist?”

“Of course,” you smiled. “What about you? Do you hang out at buffets during the day when you’re not grinding your hips up at customers at night?”

He threw his head back and guffawed. You thought the way he wrinkled his nose when he laughed was adorable. “I mean, the food’s good here and they have the best selection out of the other places.”

You nod your head at his response.

“I’m glad to run into you, though,” he whispers in your ear, making you chuckle.

“Do you always say that to everyone you’ve given lapdances to?”

“No, because I almost never run into people I’ve given lapdances to,” He smiled, pushing some errant strands of hair away from your face.

You weren’t sure if he was full of shit or just being cute. Scratch that–you were sure about one of those things.

You laughed. “You’re cute.”

“Thanks. I think you’re cute, too.”

******

After brunch, your group didn’t have any solid plans before your reservations to The High Roller, a fancy Ferris wheel where groups of adult parties could avail of the open bar privileges in each pod.

One thing led to another and the next thing you knew, your group invited them for a bit of fun this afternoon.

Namjoon, the one whose dimples Myla wanted to drown in, suggested checking out the Seven Magic Mountains, an outdoor art installation in the desert which was a bit of a drive away. Since the strip was really more fun at night, exploring away from it was a welcomed idea.

You all head to the hotel’s parking lot to call for a rideshare when Jimin stops to check his weather app.

“Damn, the weather report says it’s going to rain,” Jimin remarks.

“What? But it looks so sunny out, though?” Hoseok countered.

“If it’s going to rain, I have another idea of what we could do indoors!” Namjoon pipes up. He suggests an indoor escape room at the next hotel. They also happen to have relatively cheaper casino games compared to the one at your hotel.

Everyone is in agreement until you realize that you planned to go back up to your room to take your jacket and change out of your bottoms.

“Sorry guys, I need to go back up to the room to grab a couple of things. I’ll come back down as fast as I can!”

“Need any help?” Jungkook offers.

Your girls start to snicker amongst themselves and you grow flustered.

“You don’t need to do that. I can find my way back,” you smiled, starting to walk back to the elevators.

“Right, but just in case you all decide to go on ahead to maximize time, at least you’ll have a local guy to show you around?”

You roll your eyes, thinking you could just humor this guy to stop your girlfriends from teasing you.

You relented. “Fine, you guys can go on ahead.”

“Just give us a call, YN,” Leia calls out, adding a mischievous wink while you and Jungkook walk back toward the elevators together.

When the doors shut and the cab ascends, you both stand on opposite corners.

You exchange looks as the cab ascends. He makes some remark about how much the hotel has changed since he was last here, to which you absently nod your head in blind agreement.

“Anyway,” he says in a sudden switch in subject, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you since last night.”

You gulped just as soon as the elevator dings its arrival on your floor. All you do is chuckle nervously and walk into the hallway, pretending you didn’t hear what he just said.

******

The censor beeps and you turn the door handle to enter the suite. Once you both stepped in, he caught you by your waist and gently spun you around to face him. Caging you against the wall, he asks, “I wasn’t sure if you heard what I said earlier?”

“I did,” you answer simply.

“I meant it.”

“Oh really,” you challenged.

“Yes,” he reaffirms. “Shall I show you?”

“I mean…it’s all empty words to me. Flirting is part of your job, isn’t it?”

He chuckled. “Last time I checked, I’m currently off the clock. So that must mean that I’m not bullshitting you.”

You smiled back at him. Truth or not, he was hot and you wanted to know more of what he was all about right this second. “Well, what are you waiting for then?”

He flashed a grin before he sealed his mouth over yours.

He lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, smiling through your kisses while he carried you toward the bed. All the while, your tongues continued to lick into each other’s mouths and your hands roved everywhere.

You stumble onto the bed closest to the door and he haphazardly strips you off your bottoms.

“Geez…fuckkk.” your hands fisted the sheets beneath you, Jungkook pinned your hips to the mattress and flitted his tongue against your clit. Your core tightened and your vision blurred while your body settles into the pleasure that his tongue and fingers were so intent on giving to you.

The sight of his dark head between your legs made your pulse thrum, racing in unison with the steady humming that he did against your flesh. You caught sight of your panties on one side of the bed–they were ruined, literally shredded to pieces from his grip, and yet he was still fully dressed.

“I’m ready.” You pushed your fingers into his hair. As much as you relished his oral expertise and would happily lie on this bed all day to enjoy it, you didn’t have the luxury of time. Not to mention that people were waiting on you to simply fetch a jacket.

If those few seconds where you cupped him by the doorway were any indication of what you felt underneath those jeans, you wanted it inside of you sooner rather than later.

“I’ll decide when you’re ready.”

“Come ooon,” you whine. “We have to—holy fuck!“ You gasped at the hard suctioning from his mouth, coupled with the two fingers he slid into you.

“You were saying?” He lifts his head, a cocky grin on his face while continuing to slowly rub the raw bundle of nerves deep within you.

“I want you inside…now,” you mewled while your legs shook.

“You’re so close, I can feel it,” he whispered before dipping his head down again to tease your swollen flesh with the tip of his tongue.

You plump your own breasts and tug at your nipples to get yourself closer to the edge.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Jungkook breathes out at the sight of it.

You sucked in a deep breath as your climax neared. Even though you wanted his cock to fill you, the urge to cum while he ate you out was stronger.

You let out a breathy cry as you trembled through your orgasm, your back arched off the bed while you rode your high with each thrust of his fingers.

He hovers over you and whispers in your ear, “Atta girl.” His praise sent another course of shivers through you.

Eyes still shut, you groaned. “I’d come harder if you were inside me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smirked. You flutter your eyes open to see him pulling off his shirt. His jeans and boxers followed more slowly.

You push up and lean back on your elbows. It was much more seductive to watch him do this privately…without prying eyes and other thirsty bitches wanting a piece. This show was all for you and you alone.

He straightened from shoving his boxer briefs down, then knelt on the foot of the bed and crawled toward you.

He hovered over you, his hair falling around his face. Tilting his head, he lowered his mouth and lightly traced the seam of your lips with the tip of his tongue. “I’ve wanted to taste you since I first laid eyes on you.”

You dart your tongue out to lick his. “I could say the same about you.”

You gripped his hips, arching upward to try to feel his warm skin against yours. You needed that closeness…craved it, even. And at this moment, it didn’t matter that this wasn’t going any further past the four walls of this hotel suite. You just wanted him.

You catch a glimpse of something squeezed between his pointer and middle finger. He brings it up to his mouth and tears the foil open with his teeth.

He sits back on his heels to roll the condom on while you sit up to pull your top off.

You wrapped your fingers around his length. He moans softly when you slowly pump him in your fist. You lean closer to kiss him, your hand still sliding up and down.

He breaks the kiss for a moment to slot himself between your legs, lining himself up to your center. He cradles your nape to pull you back into a kiss.

Slowly, he pushes into you. That initial contact, the soreness, makes you gasp. He continues to inch his way in, gradually stretching and filling you. Your walls clench around him once he’s fully in.

Your nails dug into firm flesh of his ass and tugged him against you. you didn’t care that it might hurt. If you didn’t get him in you, you thought you’d lose your mind.

Jungkook slid his hand into your hair, fisting it to hold you where he wanted you. “Look at me.”

You stilled at the command in his voice. You stared up at him, your frustration melting as you watched a slow, gradual transformation sweep over his handsome face.

His features tightened first as if he were pained. A wince knit his brow. His lips parted with a gasp, his chest beginning to heave with labored breaths. His jaw ticked and his skin grew hot to the touch.

Your hands gripped onto his biceps, anticipation building.

“Fuck me, Jungkook,” you begged–hypersensitivity be damned.

“Don’t need to tell me twice,” he utters before he sinks himself into you.

Your mouth was agape while your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You felt him enter you inch by delicious inch–you could have sworn you’d just cum again and he hadn’t even started to move.

You gasped. He was hard and so, so deep into you. The connection was…indescribably intense.

His hips ground against yours. His entire body steeled, his chest muscles and arms visibly straining as he pulled out to the tip before he slams back into you–hard. The scene was reminiscent of the night before, where you were both in the same position, fully clothed.

Except now, he was actually inside of you…claiming you in every possible way.

You moaned in pleasure while his chest rumbled with a low growl. “Fuck, you feel so good…”

Tightening his hold on you, he started to fuck into you rhythmically, nailing your hips to the mattress with fierce thrusts.

He buried his face in your neck, feeling his hot, steady breaths in your ear. Thrusting harder and faster, gasping heated words that drove you absolutely crazy.

You were so focused on every move, every swivel of his hips, every stroke that had pleasure coursing through your whole body like electricity.

You moaned helplessly, his mouth slanting over yours, capturing it. Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving a small trail of crescent indents on his flesh.

Another orgasm brewed within you, everything tightening, clenching, squeezing. He shoves one hand beneath your hip, cupping your ass to lift you to meet his thrusts. His cock stroked your aching center over and over.

“Ahh…holy sh–I’m…fuck…” you babbled incoherently.

“Right there with you, YN.”

With a broken sob, you climaxed in a rush. His body tenses, shuddering as his own orgasm rips through him.

He collapses on top, though careful not to put his full weight on you. You both try to catch your breaths, all the while having no clue how long you laid like that. His lips grazed over your shoulder and neck–it was an unexpected soothing moment.

******

“You know, your friends could get suspicious,” He chuckles, pointing to your outfit that was completely different from what you had on when you came up to your room.

You roll your eyes. “I’m sure they have a good idea of what went down.”

“Oh, do they?” He sauntered toward you, his arm snaking around your waist.

“Yeah. We’re all grown-ups here who just want to have a good time,” you answered him.

He leans in closer, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. “And did you?”

“I did, thanks.” You give him a quick kiss on the lips. “Anyway, Yuna sent me a text saying that they’re at the restaurant if we want to meet up. You’re welcome to come if you want to?”

He sighs and carefully pulls himself away from you. “Ah, I wish I could but I gotta get back and get ready for the show.”

You shrug nonchalantly. “Oh okay.”

“I don’t get off ‘til 1AM. Sorry,” he says with regret.

“Hey, no need to apologize. We both got what we wanted,” you say simply.

He nods. “Are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you answer. “Time to get back to reality and all that.”

“Well, if you’re ever in town again…” he says slowly.

Jungkook was cute, but he was just a fantasy. And this was just a one-time thing. You figured that he was just being nice.

“Sure,” you answer him vaguely. “I’ll hit you up.”

He smiled, walking toward you again. “Alright well…have a safe flight back, I guess?” He raised his hand to touch one of your fringed earrings.

“Thanks.”

Sure, he was just a one-time fuck but it was probably going to be a while before you’d forget about him.

He stood there, his face an inch away from you, staring.

“I thought you said you had to leave for work?” You chewed at your bottom lip and stared back at him.

“I did say that,” he whispers while he tongues his lip piercing. While you watch him do it, your body temperature quickly rises to a fever pitch once more.

He swallowed roughly. “Would you think it was incredibly cheesy if I asked for a goodbye kiss?”

What mesmerized you was his big, round eyes and the hint of vulnerability that flowed out of them. You’re not sure why but the thought of that made you want to give him anything that he asked for.

“No. You can have one.”

With your permission, he captures your mouth with his.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and deepened the kiss. You licked into his mouth, stroking your tongue along his eliciting a low growl from him.

His hand grazes the small of your back and moves lower until he reaches the swell of your ass. He gives it a definitive squeeze, making you jump slightly. He catches you and presses his body harder against yours, while you moan into his mouth.

You’re both breathless when you pull away. He presses his forehead against yours.

“Damn…I wish you lived around here,” he panted.

The yearning in his voice was unmistakable. Under normal circumstances, you would hang onto that, roll around, and coat yourself in it. But as any person knows, nobody expects permanence in this town. And whatever happens here…stays.

You giggled, dipping your head on his chest briefly. When you lift it, you see him smiling at you. “I mean…we had our fun, right?”

He flashed a warm smile and agreed. “Yeah, that was fun.”

******

You both make your way back down the hallway and toward the elevators and attempt to make small talk.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he answers.

“Your performances at the club…do you pretty much stick to the same routine every night?”

He shrugs. “Depends. Sometimes, the emcee asks the audience member to choose a dancer, sometimes it’s random. But we all stick to the same routine with a few improvisations.”

“Ah,” you nodded.

He pushes the ‘down’ button and immediately, one of the elevators opens up and you both step into the cab.

While it descends, you decide to sneak a glance at him only to find that he was doing the same thing. You both burst into laughter.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to stare,” he says.

“It’s fine,” you smiled.

“So, why did you ask about the performances? Was there a number in particular that you were curious about?”

You shrugged absentmindedly, staring at your feet. “N-no reason. Just making conversation.”

He smirks, crossing his arms over his chest as you approach the first floor.

You shake your thoughts out of your head, keeping in mind that your friends were waiting for you to rejoin them.

You didn’t know why you felt awkward all of a sudden. He’s just been inside you, for crying out loud! And yet, maybe the thought of him being this unattainable fantasy was what prompted you to say the things you had said last night and earlier today…or you were just horny.

You start to rub the back of your neck to diffuse the tension there. Yep…definitely a high percentage of just feeling horny.

Finally, the elevator doors open up and he steps out right before you. Before he gets too far, you capture his wrist and tug him back toward you. It takes him by surprise.

“You know what? I am curious about one thing.”

His eyebrow quirked with curiosity.

“That whipped cream number–”

Before you could finish, he cuts you off. “I remember passing a coffee shop around the corner. He grazes your chin with his thumb, making your pulse erratic. “Maybe we can buy a can from them and I can show you what really goes on after the lights go out.“ He cocked an eyebrow at you.

Your answer is immediate and a little too breathless. “Yes–let’s do that!”

#jungkook #performer: shina913 #p: m x reader #g: smut #w: one shot #wc: 1-10k #r: 18+

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

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The More The Merrier | Unorthodox 24

Rating/genre: M (18+); smut 💖, fluff, light angst; Idol!AU Pairings: Reader x Jungkook, Reader x Jimin, Reader x Taehyung, Reader x Yoongi, Taehyung x Jimin (in the series: Reader x OT7, Taehyung x Jimin, and more) Summary: Things get a little hot in the dorm's hot tub. Warnings: Almost smut, voyeurism/exhibitionism, touching, a lot of suggestive talk, use of ‘good girl’, ‘angel’ and ‘baby’, mxm kissing, reader wears a bra and panties, mention of use of 'sir', noona kink, reader picks up Yoongi lol, mild alcohol consumption Word Count: 7.9k Posted: February 23, 2023

Series Masterlist - chapters with smut are marked with a 💖 if that’s all you’re looking for!

Through the huge glass doors, you watched the guys hurry to pull the top off the hot tub. The chill had already gotten to you, wrapped up in your towel, just your bra and underwear underneath, despite the fact that you were still standing inside in the warmth of the dorm, only opening the door to step out once they were ready and climbing into the piping hot water themselves.

You tip-toed out, trying to touch as little of the freezing deck as possible before slipping off your towel and leaving it aside to climb in with them. The contrast was startling, causing you to squeak as you lowered yourself in.

They passed around the drinks they’d brought out and soon you were easing back into a corner, letting the bubbling water tickle up to your shoulders as you took a little sip of your wine. With each of them in a corner as well, the hot tub felt spacious. But you tried to imagine them all in there together, shoulder to shoulder and the thought made you smile.

“Can’t believe you didn’t tell me about the hot tub. We never did use the one outside of your guys’ room on the trip,” you noted, looking at Jungkook.

“Well, not with you,” Jimin replied right away, giggling with a wide grin when you flicked your gaze to him.

“You really had hot tub parties without me? Come on.”

“Mhm, just once. You were a little busy,” JK added, prompting you to quirk an eyebrow.

“It was the first night I came to your room,” Tae said before taking a sip of his drink.

“Oh, I see…” You nodded, watching them closely. “The night you had some 'talk'... right?” you said, somewhat remembering the conversation you’d had with Jimin the next morning, and making the boys laugh.

“It is funny thinking about that chat now, isn’t it, hyung?”

“Yeah,” Jimin mused with the youngest, smirking as he shook his head. “We had no idea.”

“Wait, tell me. What was said in this ‘chat’?” You glanced at Tae who was just listening unbothered, a little smile on his lips as his eyes moved between the three of you.

“It’s just funny because, like, none of us knew what to do with you. So all we kept saying is that we liked you and you seemed cool–”

“It was so obvious that we were all attracted to you. But nobody really wanted to outright say it. Especially because we knew Taehyungie was with you at that very moment,” Jimin continued, laughing at the thought as he was telling it. “And it wasn’t exactly a mystery what the two of you were up to.”

The words made you feel hot in both an embarrassed and excited way – the way it always seemed to be now, talking so openly about this sort of thing. But it was strange to think about that night, how you and Tae had gotten physical for the very first time and all the guys just knew. That had not been on your mind at the time.

You smiled through your momentary bashfulness as he caught your eye, sending you a shameless smile that practically made your heart skip a beat. How did the faint glow of the lights from inside reflecting off the water and his skin make him look even more stunning than normal?

“I mean, I did say that I was into her,” Jungkook corrected before turning his head back to you. “But I was the only one. Probably because I was the one who had actually talked to you about it. Not that those were the most coherent conversations either but…at least you knew I was into you.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” you mused, bringing your drink to your lips. It was crazy to think about how much had changed over the course of a few weeks. How uncertainty had given way to what was currently going on. “Back before we had 8-person group chats about who is having sex with you,” you continued, giggling at your reality that you weren’t yet quite accustomed to the idea of.

“I mean, it went really well,” Jimin urged, giggling as well.

“So well, right?” You shook your head in awe. You kind of still couldn’t believe that it had been that simple of a conversation. You were almost waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“We should be able to communicate that well by now. But it really is a new level of openness between us,” Jungkook said, lacing it with humour.

“It’s commendable, honestly,” you said as you scooted closer to Tae, the few minutes you’d gone without touching one of them, already feeling like too long.

He pulled you easily into his lap, arm around your waist, his drink poised in his other hand as he took a careful swig.

“It’s very nice not having to overthink things,” you said, feeling the relevance of the statement as you relaxed back against his chest with the knowledge that it wasn’t going to make either of the two feel weird.

As if he couldn’t help it, Tae’s nose nuzzled at your neck where your hair was pulled up, tickling you enough to erupt goosebumps along the tops of your shoulders and make you careen away with a smile.

“Tickles,” you told him softly.

He didn’t care, doing it again and pressing a quick kiss to your neck, making that heat come back to your skin.

When you looked at Jimin, he was smiling, leant back casually in his spot, his glass dangling from a loose wrist. Jungkook was smiling too, though he looked away, over to Tae, once you caught his eyes with yours. The situation reminded you of the pool on the boat. It reminded you… that he’d seemed to enjoy it.

But you need a bit of clarification on something. Just in case.

“Umm..” you sounded out, turning smoothly in Tae’s arms so you could bring your mouth right to his ear to whisper. “Is what happened earlier a secret? Or is it ok if others know?”

He pondered a moment, looking at Jimin who was now listening to something Jungkook was saying. It sounded like they were still joking about the group conversation that they’d never expected to have.

“Like, me watching?” he whispered back and you nodded. “I don’t care but we should check with Jiminie too.”

You nodded once more, twisting back around before reaching for Jimin’s arm, gathering his attention with the touch. As soon as he looked at you, you were switching into his arms instead, being received happily as he moved his drink to his other hand and smiled widely at you, his whole face lighting up.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you leaned in to quietly ask him the same question to which he just responded by nodding and speaking out loud that he didn’t mind.

You pulled back only a couple inches, admiring Jimin’s pretty face, letting a thumb trace along his jaw. The way you were looking at each other, how close you were; It was more intimate than what Jungkook had seen between you and anyone else so far and you were very aware of that fact. But you weren’t sure how to let that dictate your actions.

“I think I owe you for that anyways,” Jimin said, low enough for his voice to take on a huskier quality than you were used to.

Through a smirk, you hummed your agreement, unable to stop staring at his gorgeous mouth, so available to you with the way he’d tilted his head back against the curve of the hot tub, all cool and casual, waiting for you. He was sending you that look, those flirtatious eyes, with a little flick of his tongue over his lips.

It only took another few seconds for you to give in, caressing his cheek as you pressed your lips to his, which opened immediately to kiss you back so nicely that it practically gave you chills.

The others weren’t talking now; a fact you became starkly aware of as you pulled away after a few perfect moments, watching Jimin’s eyes open to take you in once more.

“Isn’t it weird for you?” Jungkook spoke up and when you turned in Jimin’s lap, he was focused on Tae, looking genuinely intrigued by just how into it his friend seemed to be.

“Seeing them?” Tae asked without his expression changing at all, just his eyes shifting from you to Jungkook then back to you. Then he shook his head in the most unworried way, the small smile lifting back onto his lips as he spoke: “Weirdly, not weird.”

“Huh,” Kook sounded out, apparently a little dumbfounded.

“Don’t you find it kind of hot?” It was Tae speaking once again, eyes sparkling mischievously at Jungkook over his glass as he took another sip.

You simply watched from your spot on Jimin, head leaning back against him as an arm held around your waist, his fingers brushing lightly over your ribs.

Kook’s eyebrows pushed up slightly. “Do you? Find it hot?”

“How could I not?” he responded after another moment as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Jungkook was smiling, now as entertained as he was curious. “So, that day… on the boat. When you told us to kiss in front of you?”

“I was… testing a hypothesis,” Tae admitted with a boxy smile, making you giggle too as you watched Jungkook roll his eyes.

“Great. I’m a test subject.”

“Oh, was it so bad?” you piped up teasingly, kicking your foot out to tap against his leg under the water.

“Hey, it was a success. I’m learning a lot about myself, apparently.” Tae shrugged.

“So, wait– would you… watch them do other stuff?” Jungkook got out slowly, his eyebrows now drawing together.

The way Tae’s face opened into a smile so smugly was so entertaining and you realized that Jimin and you probably looked somewhat similar.

“He kind of has,” you spoke up when Tae didn’t answer, just a hint of hesitancy in your voice.

“Really?” Jungkook’s eyes widened as he looked between all three of you, going as far as to sit up in his seat to lean forward a bit. “Woah, I just– ok.”

You chuckled, watching the words processing in his mind.

“Like, just, it’s one thing knowing that you’re involved with the other guys. But I can’t imagine actually…seeing it,” he said, bringing his hands out of the water just so he could talk with them.

“It’s ok, Kook. Just because we’re finding this voyeuristic thing hot doesn’t mean you have to,” you assured.

“See, but now I’m curious,” he said with a little shake of his head before swiping back the hair that fell into his eyes. “Like, why? What is it that’s appealing?”

“It’s just a different kind of… excitement, I guess,” you offered, not really sure how to explain. It was pretty new to you too.

“I like the idea of her feeling good. And the idea of him feeling good. It doesn’t have to be me doing it for it to be enjoyable, I don’t think,” Tae explained as the words came to him, seeming like he was genuinely trying to be articulate and put together his thoughts properly.

Jimin’s grip on you shifted, shuffling you so you were turned a bit, able to see his face better. “Honestly, as soon as I thought about you two together – and then we were also flirting at the time as well… I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. I was just instantly into it.”

You smiled in understanding; it was similarly stuck in your head since the moment he brought it up on the boat. “It’s a bit of a thrill, maybe? Double the chemistry… double the attraction.” You bit your lip, debating whether to continue with your next sentence before giving it. “And, to be honest, the thought of watching is, like, really hot for me too. So, I get it.”

“You watching us?” Jimin said after a moment, a slight sultriness to his voice in your ear.

Nodding, you got a little shy once again. It wasn’t something the three of you had addressed, at least not all together. But obviously it took up space in all of your minds. “I just… yeah, I think I would find it super hot.”

“So, you guys haven’t…?” Jungkook asked carefully, watching your expressions closely with his big eyes, while Tae looked down at the water with a little smirk.

“Not since…” Jimin responded, trailing off because obviously Jungkook knew. The kiss. The one kiss from however many months ago.

You watched the youngest nod, feeling frozen yourself, not wanting to overstep, not wanting to make anyone feel weird. But also there was something. A rush coursing through you; obviously more than just the one drink you’d had. And maybe they could feel it too, based on the way the conversation had developed.

“Well, what if… I went over here?” you said casually, extricating yourself from Jimin’s arms to float over to Jungkook, curling up sideways in his lap, arms looping around his neck, then looking over to send the other two a cute little smile from your new spot.

Jimin was smiling widely, a bashful look on his face as he eyed you. “Then my lap would be empty,” he stated simply, tilting his head and waiting a moment before looking over at Tae.

Tae’s eyebrow quirked up, shooting you an amused look before he was sliding over on the seat and muttering: “Can’t have that.”

As soon as he was close enough, Jimin was pulling him easily onto his lap, turning so they could both lean back while still being able to see you and Jungkook. Tae was smiling – perhaps a bit shyly – now, his arm draping comfortably over Jimin’s shoulder, fingers brushing against his skin.

You couldn’t help your own smile with all the little butterflies in your tummy at the way Jimin encircled Tae’s waist, holding him in place.

Jungkook’s grip on your hip tightened, prompting you to look at him. He appeared exhilarated, his lip pulled between his teeth, chewing on it gently. It would’ve been terribly cute if it wasn’t for the way his eyes were sparkling, looking back and forth between yours before dropping to your lips.

Before you could really think, you were leaning in to kiss him, softly sucking his lower lip into your mouth as he hummed in satisfaction. Your body pressed up against him as you pulled yourself in, the feeling of his soft warm chest and big strong arms turning you on far too easily. Not that you weren’t wet already simply from the conversation and all the related places your mind couldn’t stop wandering.

When you pulled back a bit, he caught you once again, kissing you deeper, hot tongue tasting yours as he adjusted you in his lap so your ass was right over his crotch, able to feel him a bit more than you were expecting. It made your stomach flip. If he wasn’t too into the voyeurism side of things, perhaps there was a bit of an exhibitionist inside of him.

You were a bit breathless, looking at him a little stunned when he smirked at you. But he ended up a little stunned too when you both turned your heads to find Tae and Jimin wrapped up in their own kiss, Taehyung’s big hand gripping around the back of Jimin’s neck.

Holy shit. They looked so good, torsos flush now, their mouths moving smoothly together as Jimin deepened the kiss, prompting Tae’s mouth open a little more. Now, you really couldn’t breathe, feeling both like you should look away – even despite the conversations that had been had – and that it was impossible to do so.

Involuntarily, you squirmed in Jungkook’s embrace, tongue flicking out to lick your lips as you watched them far too desperately.

“It turns you on so much, huh?” he whispered against your cheek, nose nuzzling your temple.

“Maybe,” you responded, fighting the urge to turn and retreat into his neck to hide. Because it was even hotter than you had imagined. Your body felt like it was buzzing with electricity as you watched them pull back, still caught up in each other as Tae pressed his lips once, twice, three times more against Jimin’s.

When they separated, they both started smiling as they watched each other before both breaking into cute little chuckles, finally looking around and noticing you and Jungkook.

“So, I was right,” you breathed out with a soft chuckle of your own, sure that they would know what you were very clearly referring to. It just made them both smile wider.

“You like watching?” Jimin asked, now looking at you far more dangerously. “Not surprising considering what a little freak you are.”

“A freak?” you mused, feeling your cheeks warm. “Woah, I don’t know if I’d say that. And we haven’t even had sex yet.”

“You guys haven’t had sex yet?” Jungkook asked, pulling his head back a bit in surprise.

“Well, not sex sex.”

“I think you’re a freak too,” Tae chimed in, lifting a pointed eyebrow at you when you rolled your eyes. “And we have had sex.”

“What – watching people makes me a freak?” you asked playfully.

“And other things.”

“Pff, other things.” You just shook your head, knowing that you’d barely even started to explore anything kinkier with any of them. But you stubbornly didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they’d kind of pegged you right. You weren’t a freak per say but there were definitely some things you liked or wanted to explore more of.

“I know something you like.”

You turned to look at Jungkook, suddenly wary of what was about to come out of his mouth.

“You like being told what to do.”

“That’s true,” Jimin agreed.

Then Tae was joining in: “She likes being called a good girl.”

“O-kaaay!” you sounded out with an awkward huff of laughter, beginning to squirm once again as if you were about to escape out of the hot tub but Jungkook just held you tighter, his big smile too sweet for how they were all making you feel – incredibly turned on. “That’s– that’s enough, yep.”

“Yeah, you barely have to do anything to get a little ‘yes, sir’ out of her,” Jimin said.

Your eyes squeezed shut, mouth screwing up. Once again, here they were, talking about you right in front of you, embarrassment and desire swirling around inside of you as a result. It didn’t help that one of Jungkook’s hands was now resting on your inner thigh, close enough for it to draw your attention while still being innocent enough.

“Oh, are you calling all of us ‘sir’, baby?” he asked, squeezing your thigh a little as he looked at you, feigning slight annoyance.

“Of course she is. So submissive, it’s cute.”

You narrowed your eyes at Jimin but he just laughed. Yes, you were naturally submissive. But to that extent? Your stomach was twisted up in knots, so much anxious energy running through you but you also liked it so much, it was insane.

“We should ask hyung if she calls him that too,” Tae suggested mischievously, just making it worse.

JK’s hand brushed closer to your core but when you looked at him, he was still watching the other two with a wide smile, finding this too amusing.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” you tossed out with a weak little shake of your head.

As if they couldn’t even hear you, Jimin continued: “I think she’s more of a brat though, honestly.”

“Hey,” you said defensively even though you knew he wasn’t wrong.

“Definitely,” Tae said in his low voice, the words penetrating into you as he caught your eye. His hand moved up slightly to curl softly in the back of Jimin’s hair and you could see the way the older one enjoyed it, leaning into the touch.

“Woah, I am very well-behaved,” you fought back, proving their point, the inevitable smirk playing on your lips.

“Yeah, when you want to be,” Jungkook added, sliding his hand up further until he was playing lightly with the edge of your panties, forcing your breath to catch in your throat.

“I’m not the one being bad right now,” you said through gritted teeth as if that would stop the others from hearing.

“Oh my god,” he whispered in awe, catching your eye as his finger slid under the fabric and into the slippery wetness that had accumulated.

“Y/N…” Jimin said in a warning tone, garnering your attention. “What’s going on?”

“Yeah, what’s going on, noona?” JK teased as his finger grazed so lightly over your folds, making you clench as you held back a whimper.

“Really?”

“Is Kook touching you, angel?”

It must’ve been terribly obvious with the way you were leaning into him, brows knitted together in anticipation as one hand slid to his shoulder to grip it tightly.

Biting your lip, you nodded. His feather-light strokes switched to fingertips circling your entrance as you let out a long breath that turned shaky at the end. You could feel him clearly under you, erection pressing into the back of your thigh and you wondered crazily if he would let you ride him right here right now and in front of his two best friends.

Surely, there was no way. That wasn’t what he’d signed up for. But then again, you hadn’t imagined him touching you like this at all in front of them prior to a few minutes ago.

“Why are you so wet, baby?”

“I–... Just everything, I don’t know,” you mumbled out, allowing yourself to actually hide in his neck this time.

“You’re all wet just from us talking about you?”

“And the kiss,” you admitted quietly before you were gasping at Jungkook’s fingers beginning to draw faint circles over your clit.

“Mm. She likes when he kiss, Taehyung-ah.”

You could hear the smile in his voice, the way he was eating this up, happy to find some way to torment you. Ugh, it was so good.

“Maybe we should kiss again.”

Regrettably, it made your head turn, coming face-to-face with two smug smiles.

“Come here,” Tae whispered as he turned back to Jimin, pulling their lips back together.

“Oh, fuck,” you breathed out, watching them as Jungkook gave you a little more much-needed pressure though he was still going tortuously slow, your legs instinctively closing around his wrist at the intense feeling. You had become so sensitive over the course of the night, your body being keyed up further and further after what happened in the living room followed by the topics that had been covered out here on the balcony.

Jungkook leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of your open mouth before moving along your jaw. “Do they look good, baby? You like watching them together?”

“Uh-huh.” Your head tilted, letting him kiss down onto your neck as you continued to watch, seeing the way Tae’s hand was sliding down from Jimin’s hair to the side of his neck then moving around the front of it, clasping around it gently as he’d done to you once upon a time.

Then Jimin was letting out a low hum in his mouth, pulling Taehyung tighter by the hold he had around his waist.

“Kook,” you let out a quiet sigh as you tilted your hips slightly in search of more.

“Jealous?” he taunted. “Want a hand around your neck too?”

That hadn’t been what you’d expected him to say – not at all. But it earned a little pathetic sound from you, your one hand moving to his forearm to force him to give you more pressure where he was swirling over your clit, another needy moan falling from your lips.

“Don’t be greedy, noona,” JK hummed as he held back against your tugging.

Jimin grabbed Tae’s wrist but you weren’t sure if he was keeping it there or about to remove it. You hadn’t really thought about who of the two of them would be more dominant. And this wasn’t really making it any clearer.

After another moment, they were pulling back. Right away Jimin was letting out a little giggle. “This is insane.”

“Yeah,” Tae agreed under his breath, looking between him and you. “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.”

“Me neither,” Jungkook said though he was looking right at you, the hand that was around your waist moving to clasp around the back of your neck, squeezing slightly and just adding to the already tantalizing sensation.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, eyes closing, your head falling back against the side of the tub as your back arched with pleasure. This was too fucking much – you needed to come. Preferably in front of all of them. Perhaps even with all their hands on you. Jesus Christ, what had gotten into you?

“You look so pretty, baby,” Jungkook cooed, the words immediately being echoed by the other two who had apparently refocused on what was happening on your side of the hot tub. “Such a good girl.”

“Does Kookie feel good?” Tae asked sweetly as if he wasn’t pushing you for an answer he already knew.

All you could do was nod, a thin affirmative sound coming from your throat.

“Speak up, baby,” came Jimin’s voice, just as obnoxiously honeyed and confirming your suspicion that the two of them together would be plain deadly for you.

“Yes,” you voiced, stubbornly frustrated at having to actually speak when all you wanted was to sink into the feeling. You heard all three of them giggle – the menaces. The very hot menaces. Another pathetic sound came out as his ministrations sped up, that blazing hot feeling starting to build inside of you.

The patio door opened with a crack of the seal, Joon, Hobi and Yoongi stumbling outside loudly as they all immediately began to complain about the cold air on their skin, towels being tossed aside so they could quickly get in.

Right away, you were sitting up, look of shock on your face as if you’d just been doused with ice water. Jungkook’s hand moved, gripping to your thigh instead, making your empty pussy ache.

If Jimin and Tae didn’t want to be seen cuddled up as they were, that was too bad because it all happened so fast that Tae didn’t even move, Jimin arms still held around him as they watched the new arrivals, expressions attempting to quickly recover as they both stuttered out a greeting.

“We were drinking inside but figured this would be more fun,” Hobi said cheerily as he climbed in, immediately ‘ahh’-ing at how hot the water was on his legs.

Yoongi caught your eye as he waited for Joon to get in in front of him, hopping a little bit in place, clearly trying to avoid the cold deck on his feet. “I know you said I ‘wasn’t invited’,” he began, using his hand not holding his whisky glass to do air quotes, “but I don’t give a fuck so...” He finished off his declaration with a little shrug and a flat-lined smile.

You scoffed lightly, turning yourself forward in Jungkook’s lap to allow room for Hobi to come sit beside the two of you while Yoongi took the corner diagonal to you and Namjoon sat next to him. “The more the merrier,” you said, somewhere between sassy and flirty. Mostly you just found yourself funny.

The surprise of their appearance had been enough to briefly shake you out of your wanton state but now that your adrenaline was winding down once more, all you could think about was how horny you were, your core practically throbbing. And how you were essentially in a big steaming bathtub with six incredibly hot half-naked men.

When you made eye contact with Tae directly across from you, it didn’t help. He was staring you down in that way he did, where he seemed to want to devour you. And, fuck, you really wanted him to. But you couldn’t very well get out all of a sudden as soon as the others arrived.

Jimin looked at you a moment before letting a smirk take over his face. “Ah, Hobi-hyung,” he said suddenly, immediately making you nervous. “We have a question for you.”

“No,” you said quickly, moving forward to reach for him, hand coming up to signal him to keep those troublesome lips shut. “No, no. No question,” you said more lightly as if that would cover up your tiny outburst. Then you chuckled, a little awkwardly in your giddiness and embarrassment, whacking at his shoulder before floating back to Jungkook’s lap.

Instead of swiping at you in retaliation (that would require him to take a hand off Taehyung after all), he kicked at you, tapping at your shin before quickly changing plans and running his foot along your calf instead. Just to drive you a little more insane.

Hobi was watching you with a startled expression, eyes round and cute as they flitted back and forth between you and the boys. “What? What is it?”

“Nah, he’s just kidding,” you said, placing your hand softly on his arm and shaking your head, ignoring Jimin as best you could.

“Ok…” Hobi sounded out, still smiling widely though it was clear that he was lost.

“Did we interrupt something?” Namjoon asked but it was also through a joking smile indicating that he had no idea how right he was.

You didn’t really know how to respond and clearly neither did any of the others because you all just started laughing, getting a little awkward, a little blush-y. Your inclination was to say ‘no’ but you were also really against lying, even if it was in a scenario like this where it would make things a lot simpler to just brush them off.

“We were just bugging her. That’s all,” Tae loosely explained through his amusement.

“Well, that doesn’t have to stop just because we arrived,” Yoongi noted.

“What are we bugging her about this time?” Namjoon asked, settling back into his seat, a gorgeous arm coming up to rest along the side of the hot tub.

“Hey…” you said cutely, shooting them more looks. Everyone was in a very teasing mood tonight, it seemed.

“Oh, I was just about to ask her who her bias was before she met us,” Jungkook spoke up. And for a second, you thought he was going to do a good job of changing the subject. But then you just ended up pulling back to send him a glaring look. “Because you never actually told me.”

“Yeah, because it’s not important,” you said pointedly, clearly flustered by the prospect of sharing that nugget of information.

“Oh, come on, YN-ah. None of us are going to care,” Joon urged and he looked so cute doing it that you almost wanted to give in.

“If it’s not ‘important’ then it shouldn’t be a problem to share it,” Taehyung said, copying the exact emphasis you’d used. He achieved his goal: your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Oh my god, why do you even want to know? Everything is different now because I actually know you!”

They all seemed to answer at once: a chorus of various versions of ‘just say it’, ‘it’s fine’, ‘we don’t care’, ‘it doesn’t matter who it is’ filling your ears and making you laugh and throw up your hands in an attempt to quiet them.

“You guys are so annoying.”

“And you’re being a little brat.”

Your eyes darted over to Tae who was looking like he was thoroughly done with you. You still found it dangerously attractive, even as he embarrassed you in front of the others, his words forcing your cheeks to warm instantly.

It was interesting, seeing the others react to the words. Jimin was smiling, way too entertained. Hobi laughed beside you and you could feel that Jungkook was chuckling too. Namjoon had his eyebrows pushed up, clearly not having expected to hear those words. And Yoongi was watching closely with a slight furrow in his brow, blinking back and forth between the two of you.

You scoffed. “Fine. You want to know so badly?” Stalling, your head shook slightly, the next words getting caught on your tongue because you knew it was time but you weren’t ready to say it. As silly as the whole thing was.

They all stayed quiet, waiting.

“Um… my bias… is Yoongi.” Gaze falling to your fingers skimming the top of the water, you tried to let the words fall from your lips lightly – it was no big deal, like you’d all agreed. But it felt like exposure. Because obviously that meant you were most attracted to him, that you saw something in him that now you couldn’t pretend you didn’t.

You could have lied, sure. But you were no good at that, right?

They reacted pretty much how you’d expected: a little stunned, a little confused, a lot amused, breaking into laughs, and even more so when Jungkook playfully pushed you off his lap.

You floated in front of him, your smile turning to a feigned pout at him as you spun and placed your hands on his knees.

“Yoongi-hyung? Yoongi’s your type?” Namjoon asked surprised just as you felt yourself getting pulled back by Taehyung, who had apparently slipped off of Jimin’s lap into the middle seat so he could have you to himself.

“Actually, no. Not normally,” you admitted with a stressed little huff of laughter, your head leaning back on Tae’s shoulder and tilting slightly to look at Joon. The new position meant you were now quite close to Yoongi beside you and the fact wasn’t lost on you, especially right after your admission.

“Pass her over, Taehyungie,” Hobi joked, motioning enthusiastically with both hands towards Yoongi, making the others laugh.

At the same time, Jimin was picking up where Namjoon had left off. “So, then what is your normal type?”

There was a lot going on but you were just chuckling, trying to settle all the excitement rushing through you. The group of you hadn’t hung out with quite this kind of vibe since weeks ago when you’d played drinking games on the villa deck. “Like personality-wise, I usually go for someone that’s, like, the life of the party. Really confident, outgoing–”

“Oh, Yoongi-yahh,” Jungkook exclaimed, prompting the others to join in on the joke.

“Hyung is always the life of the party.”

“Practically a party animal–”

“Stooop,” you said lightly, barely being heard over all their teasing and chatter. When you glanced at Yoongi, he was smiling widely, listening to the chaos.

Jungkook and Jimin continued the loudest, building off each other, even when you went to shove them, breaking them into giggles.

“하지마. 하지마 – I know that one,” you added cutely, settling back in Tae’s lap, figuring that would get their attention.

That just made them laugh more, switching from poking fun at Yoongi to poking fun at you and your ‘adorable’ Korean attempt. A few of them broke into Korean for a second, losing you immediately but they seemed to still be talking about you from the way Tae held you tighter, letting one hand come up so he could squish your cheeks as if presenting you to them, his voice taking on a baby-ish quality.

“Oh, I know that one too,” you said excitedly upon hearing one of his words, twisting around in his hold to try and see him. “You called me cute.”

He smiled with all his teeth, eyes crinkling. “I did, you’re right. Look at you, smarty pants.”

You turned back around, proud.

“So, he’s just your type physically then?” Jimin asked, reminding you how you’d even gotten here in the first place.

“Uhh,” you immediately sounded out, your voice going a bit higher despite trying not to sound nervous. You shrugged as you continued: “I mean, clearly, you’re all my type physically. I don’t know if I really have just one thing I like…”

“Yeah, but who’s like the most your type?” Jungkook asked excitedly.

“No one,” you insisted before you could even think properly about the question.

“So, it’s someone,” Jimin immediately threw out and they all broke into laughter once more as you turned to him and swatted at his chest a few more times, only stopping when he actually grabbed your wrists to restrain them.

Tae straightened you out on his lap, away from Jimin’s grasp. It wasn’t on purpose, you were sure, but the way he pulled you harder down onto his lap, the slight bulge pushing against you, just worked to remind you that you still needed release.

All their teasing, even if it was a distraction, was only putting you even more into a flirtatious mood. You wanted to be kissing someone again. Actually, you wanted to be more than kissing someone.

You held onto his arms around you, wiggling your ass down against him subtly, looking more for your own stimulation than for his. When he held you even tighter, manipulating you down to rub your core against his groin, you knew he was in a similar boat.

A second later, he was letting one hand drop to your lower stomach, close enough to tease, the action hidden by the water and darkness, and right away you were clenching, thighs closing to force pressure as best you could.

Thank god the conversation had continued on, the others now bugging each other about their own types – things that you would’ve been very interested to hear about if the man under you wasn’t doing such a great job of pulling your attention.

You knew you shouldn’t; Tae probably knew that as well. There were three new people in the hot tub that hadn’t expressed being ok with whatever idea he was toying with. But it was like your body was running the show, painting over all your rational thoughts with need.

“I’m gonna get another drink,” Yoongi said suddenly, standing up and not looking back as he wrapped himself in his towel.

“There’s more right here,” Hobi called to him, pointing to the bottle the four of you had brought out.

“Whisky,” was his only reply before he disappeared through the patio door.

You didn’t want to move – you really didn’t want to remove Tae’s hands from you. Nor did you want to subject your hot tub-adjusted skin to the winter air.

But something was compelling you to go with Yoongi. Probably the slightly tipsy part of you that remembered that you’d kissed two nights ago. The part of you that felt a little addicted to the crumbs he gave you.

It only took you a few seconds before you were standing and slipping from the hot tub as well, Tae’s hands hanging on you until he couldn’t reach anymore.

“Hey, where are you…?”

“Just gonna get a drink too,” you told them quickly, smiling over your shoulder as you quickly wrapped up in your towel and shivered your way to the door.

Inside, you scurried down the hall, leaving behind little wet footprints. It’s when you were passing Yoongi’s room that you noticed his door was closed. Wait – was he in there?

You approached, seeing the light through the crack. Nudging the door open a bit, you sang his name before switching, knowing he’d find the title endearing, even if he didn’t show it. “Oppa?”

He was standing in front of his bed, drying off more fully when he heard you, head turning to you.

“What are you doing?” you asked with a small pout, walking to him with a hand outstretched. “Come back out.”

“What am I doing? What are you doing?” he asked, letting amusement fall over his features as he tilted his head to his room which you hadn’t been in until now.

Ignoring his question, you walked to him, grabbing both his hands, leaving the towel to fall to the floor. Then you were tugging, walking backwards to get him to come with you. “Come onnn,” you urged cutely, smiling up at him.

He tried to be a statue, leaning his weight back to counter your attempts. “Y/N…”

“Oppa…” you mimicked, using more strength as you continued to try. A harder pull sent the both of you stumbling a little, his body running into yours a bit until you had to catch each other, knocking your tied towel down and making you both chuckle at your mutual clumsiness. “We’re going back out,” you said through your laughter.

“I just… I don’t know,” he mumbled a bit awkwardly but he was still smiling, trying to pull his arms from your grasp.

“You don’t know what? Come have fun with us,” you pressed again, finding yourself a bit annoying. But the contact, the playfulness, the closeness was all too exciting to stop.

He looked away from you as if over your act but you could still see the smirk pulling at his lips. It was always so damn cute when he tried to half-hide how amused he was by you. It only egged you on.

Switching your tactic, you stepped closer to him suddenly, taking him around his hips and doing your best to lift him, which made him stop fighting all together, his big hands bracing on your shoulders as his only option.

He wasn’t super heavy and you were actually able to get him to his doorway, only being stopped when he grabbed onto the doorframe and used it to halt the two of you.

“Ok, ok, Y/N-ah. Put me down,” he said, chuckling.

“No, I gotcha,” you strained, trying once more to get the two of you out into the hallway but he was getting heavier and mixing that with the fact that your laughter was taking up your air, you were going to soon need to catch your breath.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” he chastised just as you finally gave in and let his feet hit the floor.

Still, you didn’t let go, standing up straight to give him another stubborn look. “I’m strong enough,” you said with a huff.

“I know,” he placated, his hands coming to rest a bit warily by your elbows.

It was strange being so close like this, him in just his bathing suit, you in just a soaked bra and pair of underwear. But you liked feeling him, your hands now pressed against his lower back.

His torso was warm against yours, his chest and shoulders so pretty and smooth from up close, save the small scars on the left side. Nothing, still, compared to his face, framed perfectly by dark locks, cute little lips turned up almost imperceptibly, a bit of a flush over his whole face, from the laughter or the play-fighting.

“You didn’t want me in the hot tub and now you need me there?” he asked jokingly, clearly trying to display how foolish you were acting.

"Yep." Grinning, you took a step back, him coming with you, but his hand quickly jumped to grip the door frame once more. “Fine,” you said finally, letting go of him before you could think about how much you didn’t want to. “Not gonna force you,” you sighed a little dramatically.

When he didn’t move away immediately, you both blinked at each other. It made you very aware of the air coming into your lungs, rising your chest, and how quiet it was in the house without anyone else moving about. It made you very aware of how almost-naked you were, how your nipples were hard under your bra from the now-cold dampness of the material. How he could probably see them through it.

Something twisted in your stomach – the feeling of wanting him so badly but not feeling like you should.

He was looking at you more closely now, the remnants of silliness and teasing nowhere to be seen. When he tilted his head a bit, his mouth opened like he was about to say something. But then it closed again, his gaze breaking away from yours.

You blinked up at him, eyes widening slightly in curiosity, willing him to look at you. Could you ask without asking?

No, you couldn’t read his mind. But there was something between the two of you – you were so sure of it.

His hand came up to your jaw as he leaned in and then his warm lips were pressing against your cool ones. It was almost timid but within a second, your arms were reaching for him, linking back around his torso to pull him to you, telling him yes. Telling him please.

Unfathomable energy vibrated through you as he kissed you deeper, turning you both suddenly until you were pressed up against the width of the door frame, his body holding you firmly against it. So much of his skin on your skin.

Even if you’d been sure of it, you hadn’t been expecting it. Part of you felt in shock, your body moving with the motions before your mind could catch up. Your hands slid up his back to hold him closer without so much as a thought.

Now, you knew: he was undoubtedly attracted to you.

This kiss wasn’t like the other kiss. If that one had been a breath of fresh air, this one sucked it all out of you, leaving you totally breathless. Your toes curled at the way his tongue brushed against yours, hungry without being sloppy, deep and needy – and way too short.

His head turned away, hand dropping, as soon as he lifted his mouth from yours, leaving the two of you practically cheek to cheek as you both caught your breath, you blinking over his shoulder but not registering anything.

Then he took a step back, his face scrunched up slightly, and you let your grip loosen, suddenly nervous at his reaction despite him having been the one to kiss you. “씨발–”

You recognized the word without him even fully finishing it, muttering it almost too quiet to hear.

He didn't look at you, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

From your spot against the door frame, you watched as he stepped further into the room, eyes still cast down as if deep in thought. “What? What is it?” you asked softly. Something could not go from feeling so right to so wrong that quickly.

“No, nothing. Go back out,” he directed gently, motioning with his hand down the hallway.

You watched him for another slow second, his head still hung awkwardly forward. “Yoongi–”

“It’s all good,” he said with a bit more behind it, finally looking up at you and giving a sure nod. His hand found the edge of the door, holding onto it as if ready to press it shut.

“Ok…” you said, not trying to hide your uncertainty as much as he clearly was. You began to move, backing up from his room towards the balcony door. “Goodnight then,” you said purposefully awkward, shooting him an obviously suspicious look involving a rogue eyebrow, hoping playing it up would help.

It got a tiny huff of laughter from him, which brought a tiny amount of relief to you. “'Night, trouble,” he chided just as he began to close the door, and it helped a little more, warming you in your chest as the butterflies in your stomach whirled around.

When it came out like that, you definitely liked your nickname.

A/N: ok i really didn't know whether this is smut or not smut haha. i feel like the whole thing is very suggestive and like smut-adjacent but very little actual action occurs so... idk haha. i feel like it packs the punch with excitement though?? i don't know, i had the best time writing this and trying to figure out how to make this flow and feel natural :P let me know if i succeeded! ❤️

Tag List: @jinsquishes @cookiechristie @yoongiigolden @jinkajous, @effielumiere @bucketofhiros @fontainexpert @sp00kysluut @bangtan-emo @nabiolive @asyamonet22 @notbotheredtho @angelsuni @juju-227592 @the-boy-meets-evil @welcometomyworld13 @ah2002 @aris-ink @here4btsfics @bananamochidaisy @pb89nv @mushroom-main @justawanderinglostsoul @mariegalea @bookingsunshine @catchmybreath94 @zandra-42 cannot tag: @zealouslightcookiebasketball @dearmyfavouritepeople-bts

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Series Masterlist

#ot7 #performer: yoongimingyu #p: m x reader #g: angst #g: fluff #g: smut #wc: 1-10k #w: chapters #r: 18+

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

Text

Bag of You | KNJ

Bag of You (An Intersect drabble)

✫✫✫Intersect Masterlist✫✫✫

Pairing: KNJ x Fem!Reader

Rating: PG-15; SFW

Genre: Established relationship; slice of life; fluff

Warnings: none to note

Word count: 705 words

Summary: You come across an email that wasn't meant for you and it sends your afternoon into a tailspin.

A/N: I've been wanting to revisit these two for the longest time so I finally came up with this short and sweet piece. Namjoon has been posting a lot of domestic!boyfriend content and I shamelessly have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to that vibe. The title is also inspired by Mahalia's song (of the same title). The lyrics: "Could you, please, tell me where your love is from? So I can stop by the shop and pick up a bag of you," is just...(chef's kiss)!

“Arghh…I swear to god–I bookmarked it!” Namjoon insists.

You look up from your e-reader after hearing him let out one too many frustrated groans, which originally stemmed from you casually asking about your upcoming trip’s flight details.

“Are you sure? You know, you have a habit of deleting emails just like that,” you say skeptically.

“Well, yeah, I do… but I wouldn’t delete something important like that.” He continues to aggressively scroll through his email app, searching for the confirmation of your flights to Hawaii next week.

Sighing in exasperation, you stick your hand out to him, wordlessly demanding that you search his phone yourself to locate the damned email.

“I swear…if you find it in two seconds–I’m gonna be so pissed…” Namjoon says, reluctantly handing you his phone. You snort at his comment. You certainly had a skill for retrieving things that he always seemed to ‘lose.’

“Okay, let’s see here...”

He leans in closer, watching you scroll to the top of his screen and pull up the search field on his email app. “Yah! I did that already and nothing came up!” He complains.

You ignore him and start to type the word ‘confirm’ anyway.

Two emails pop up on your search but you zero in on one in particular. It was from a known jeweler–whose website you’d browsed through before. Said email had the words ‘order confirmation’ as part of the subject line.

You both freeze for a moment but don’t make any obvious reactions. Instead, you pretend that neither of you saw it. You click on the airline’s email quickly to bring it up to full-screen and then hand his phone back to him.

“See? It’s right here. Why don’t you send me a copy so that we both have it on file.” You suggest nonchalantly.

“Y-yeah, sure. Great idea. I’ll, uh…do that now.” he babbled, breaking into a cold sweat. You turn back to your e-reader, all the while sneaking glances at him as he typed on his phone.

He smiles nervously. “Alright, all good!” He says, confirming that he sends a copy of the flight confirmation to you, then doubling back in his sent messages folder to ensure that he sent the correct email.

You mouthed your thanks and he reaches over by his side of the armrest to retrieve his book.

Time slows to a crawl as you’re both sitting on the couch in complete silence. Your eyes are glued to your e-reader’s screen but none of the words are making sense to you. Then, you slowly look to the side, where Namjoon is anxiously turning pages.

Finally, you couldn’t stand the tension so you break into fits of giggles. Your laughs are so infectious that he joins you and you both fall apart in stitches.

“Why are you laughing?” He asks.

“I don’t know!” You say in between giggles.

“...But you do know,” he grinned, which then led to more laughter.

You couldn’t get the email out of your head–as much effort you put into not thinking about it (which was next to nothing).

You turn your body to face him, tucking one leg under your bottom. “Okay, fine. Let me ask you this,” you began, then lowered your voice. “Is it…here?”

He hesitates for a second…then nods.

You shift excitedly in your seat. “Is it hidden?”

He nodded again.

Your hands fly up to your mouth as you gasp softly. Suddenly, you get an idea. “Can we play ‘hot or cold’? I can go to a spot in the apartment and you can say if–”

“No! Absolutely not!” Namjoon exclaims, hastily getting up off the couch to head to the kitchen.

You fall backward, sink into the couch cushions, and start laughing again.

So much for a quiet weekend for both of you. Now, you were utterly giddy…and impatient. You’d discussed marriage shortly after you moved in together and it was all but a sure thing, so this wasn’t much of a surprise to you. It was only a question of when.

Still, knowing that he had already purchased the ring and that you were finally going through with this was giving you butterflies all over.

You couldn’t wait to say ‘yes!’

Intersect Series Masterlist | Main Fic Masterlist

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tags: @internetjunkdrawer @itdoesntmatterwhy @deepseavibez @yoongukie-ff @yu-justme

#namjoon #performer: shina913 #p: m x reader #g: fluff #w: one shot #wc: >1k #r: pg 15

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

Text

ch. 1 (myg x kth, jjk x reader)

summary: The world went to shit five years ago. Now infected roam the earth and all Taehyung wants is someone to hold him. And maybe some food.

pairing: min yoongi x kim taehyung, background jeon jungkook x reader (gender is not mentioned but afab)

genre: strangers to lovers, angst, slow burn, romance, eventual smut

au: zombie / the last of us

rating: 18+

word count: 4.1k

warnings: time jump, one pov change, the world is a scary place now, taehyung is scared, anxiety, fear, mentions of zombies but we don't see any, nothing is mentioned in any detail but there are members who are no longer with us, lots of talk of food and hunger, blood, guns, frostbite, sort of suicidal ideation, look this is just a sad fic because the world is no longer there and taehyung/junkook/OC have lost people, yoongi is hard on himself

author’s note: i took my time with this chapter. i really loved writing it because i love writing taehyung so fucking much. it also pushed me to researching canadian trees. OH! this fic is unapologetically canadian and i got super happy writing about cities that i have been to. it's fun. also, this is an unapologetic queer canadian story in particular. it's dedicated to all my fellow LGBTQIA+ canadians! thank you to @vyduan for looking this over and then screaming at me because i love when she screams at me!! this chapter has been edited as best i can and i apologize for any mistakes. Light of Day by ODESZA feat. Ólafur Arnalds came on while i was editing this and i think it fits perfectly.

5 years later (2007) Somewhere near the Alberta and British Columbia border on some random mountain

Memories can be prisons if you're not too careful.

That’s what Taehyung has learned.

He hates it all. Hates the way the world has changed, how he has lost countless loved ones. Hates how everyone has turned on everyone else; but what he hates more than anything else are his memories.

The happy ones. The ones filled with beautiful shadows from lights that no longer exist, the hum of a song that has long since been turned off, and the feel of another body pressed against his.

No.

What he hates the most is that he no longer has a community. No longer has his family.

After he watched the first member of his family die, it took a year for the nightmares and night sweats to end. The second took seven months, and gradually as each left, died, or was pulled away he got used to it. The night sweats stopped completely, the nightmares no longer woke him.

Memories, if he’s not too careful, stick like flies to fly paper.

He sits against a tamarack, the bark pokes into his neck if he leans back, so he sits forward, chest to knees and picks up a small tamarack cone. They take 12-15 years to develop, he thinks and then lets a very small smile cross his face because he only knows that because you won’t shut the fuck up about the different kinds of trees that they cross.

“We have to be in British Columbia, those are red alders… or we could be in Alaska.”

He had drowned you out after that but he thinks he heard you say something about possibly being in any of the western provinces or states; but they all knew that wasn’t true because there had been signs on the road before they had slipped into the forest of the Rocky Mountains.

Taehyung looks at the cone in his hand and thinks it looks a bit like a rose. Something sparks in his brain and he pushes it away.

The memory of roses on his counter that Jimin had whisked in after Hoseok had told him he was thinking he wanted to open up the relationship. A conversation that had left Taehyung feeling too many things.

All things that seem so trivial now. He’d do anything to have that conversation again, if it meant being able to talk to a man that loved him. Or a man who wanted to touch him.

What Taehyung would do for someone to hug him, touch him, kiss him. Anything.

He misses people.

The cold from the earth is seeping into his jeans and he shivers a little. He looks at the cone one last time. It fits in the palm of his hand and looks so small, it must have been shaken off the tree before it could become full grown. He thinks about asking you about it but decides not to and throws the cone over the edge of the mountain.

“Jungkook-ah,” he calls and pushes himself up, dusting off his butt and then hands. “Do we have any more of that jerky?”

Jungkook looks up from his crouch near the fire and shrugs, “don’t think so.”

“Fuck,” Taehyung lets out with a sigh.

His stomach is shrinking and he knows he has maybe a couple of hours left without food in him before he chases down a bear and eats it raw (this is not advised as it is quite dangerous if you do not have some sort of weapon in which you can be a distance from the bear).

“I think YN might have some of those tortillas,” Jungkook says and Taehyung knows it’s because he hasn’t hidden the hunger on his face well enough.

The tortillas in question are the corn tortillas they found on a shelf in a gas station a few kilometres outside of Calgary. The tortillas that Taehyung has been pretending don’t exist because he doesn’t exactly trust random tortillas found in a gas station that normally would never carry such items.

“Have you tried one yet?” he asks, because if Jungkook has then he might rethink eating them.

Jungkook looks straight at him with a serious face and then looks around for a moment and, with an equally serious face, shakes his head. Taehyung pinches his lips shut to hold the laugh.

“What are you two doing?” you ask as you step out from the bushes a few feet away from Jungkook.

“Have you had the tortillas yet?” Jungkook asks and Taehyung watches as you pause, then shake your head.

Laughter erupts.

“What?” you ask, a little confused and brow furrowed. “I’m not going to trust gas station tortillas!”

°•°•°

He’s lost count as to how many days they’ve been on this mountain.

The wind is a mix of warm and cold. It’s such a stark contrast from the weather they have experienced on their journey from Ontario. The weather on the prairies had come in fast and bitter. Cold biting at every inch of exposed skin and seeping in through tears in their clothing. Somewhere along the border of Saskatchewan and Alberta he was sure that they were going to die. Shivering together while they dug out a hole in the snow so they could make a fire.

There is still a dark part on his pinky that he knows is frostbite. He plays with it, touching and prodding at it, marveling at how he doesn’t feel anything there, and how it is a physical incarnation of something deep inside him. The sadness that has settled in a corner of his mind that he occasionally prods to see if he can actually feel it. It’s part of him now. It won’t go away.

He supposes it could also mirror what the fungus does. Slowly takes over your body and becomes you.

That is one thing that he has not adapted to - the realization that you are still alive. Your brain is still you with all the memories, thoughts, and realization of what your body is doing but having no control. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to that fear. The fear of becoming one of them. When the Quarantine Zone burned and they ran, he used to wake up in a sweat and worry that this was all a dream that his brain had created to protect him. That he was in fact just one of the infected back at the QZ, waiting and moving around, a body connected to a large network with a brain that wanted out.

He wasn’t though and occasionally Jungkook will remind him with a look and touch on the shoulder. He doesn’t know what he would do if it weren’t for you and Jungkook. Two people who had saved him from the brink when he was about to lose it all. Jeon Jungkook, a student from Korea who, after his military service, came to Toronto to study and get a break from his family. He doesn’t know your story because you keep things close to your chest but Jungkook knows and that is enough for him. It makes your relationship admirable and he cherishes the two of you.

Before everything went to shit and mushrooms started taking over the world, Taehyung had replaced his real family (the ones who wanted nothing to do with his lifestyle) with people who accepted each other as they were, pushed them to be better, and who loved each other. He had never been loved like that.

Jungkook and you aren’t that family but he thinks he does love you both.

“We should have stuck to the highway,” Taehyung says as he pushes through branches that scrape his cheeks and neck.

You shake your head, “and chance raiders? No thank you.”

“We’d at least know where we are,” he says despite knowing that you’re right.

Taehyung has always liked people. He liked being in a room full of people and most of all he liked having the attention on him. Then people became scary, potential carriers, and suddenly only meant danger. Now, outside of the QZ, people mean more than danger. More than just potential carriers. People will kill you just so there is one less person on this earth. Killing all in the name of survival.

He can’t do that.

“I mean we couldn’t have found a path or something?” he asks, mostly joking as he is tired of having to duck under branches of trees and walk through bushes.

You look back to say something but then Jungkook stops and Taehyung can tell something is wrong. He tries to take a deep breath as he realizes just what Jungkook is staring at. A large tree (you probably know what type it is) is sinking. The ground around it looks almost like a moat, the tree standing tall amidst the slowly sinking earth. They all know what it means. What it will lead to when the tree is swallowed.

Since skirting around Calgary, they’ve been lucky. They haven’t run into any infected; but this could change everything.

Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and before he can speak you say, “we should get the fuck out of here.”

He doesn’t want to experience what he experienced back in the QZ. He never thought he would find sinking ground so terrifying but there are always new things to experience in this world. In this new reality.

Jungkook nods and then looks around before he says, “I think we should get off the mountain, maybe head toward a path.”

No one will know if this is a good idea or not; but it’s a suggestion and Taehyung wants to get the fuck out of here. He wants to be far enough away that he doesn’t see the explosion of infected bodies crawling out of the eventual hole.

“Yes please,” he says and begins walking.

“At least the forest is dense,” you say as the three of you begin walking at a quick pace away from the tree.

“What good will that do?” he asks.

“Might make it hard for them,” you respond.

He doesn’t say anything but a scoff slips out and he regrets it immediately because you scare him a little but you don't turn to shoot him a look. You haven’t shared your life with him (and you don’t have to) but he knows what you can do with that knife of yours, knows how good of a shot you are, and he suspects that you didn’t just learn all of that over the last five years.

They can’t get away from the sinking earth fast enough. They should be running, he thinks, but none of you do. Instead he feels like his senses are on high alert. Every snap of a branch makes his skin crawl.

He wants to run.

He wants to be off this godforsaken mountain. He wants to be somewhere warm, if a place like that even exists. He wants to be curled up in Jimin’s arms. Anyone’s arms. He just wants out of whatever life this is.

No, that’s not it. It’s more complicated than that. He doesn’t want out out. He just wants it to be different. He wants to not be so fucking scared of the earth literally opening up. Wants to only think of it as a thing that happens in the news. To other people. And he definitely doesn’t want fucking zombies to come crawling out those holes like insects.

No. It’s a trap.

Wishing for something else. Wishing for a different reality is a trap. It’s built by the same fucked up thing in his brain that digs out memories and begins constructions on new homes.

The mountains are beautiful and as they continue walking, faster than they have in the last few days, Taehyung feels the fear slowly slip away.

“Oh! You know what I could go for right now?” you ask, surprising him.

“What, jagiya?” Jungkook asks and the use of the name hits Taehyung in the chest, as it always does.

Jagiya.

자기야. He absently traces the word in Hangul in the air with his finger.

A word that fits so perfectly between the two that it warms him. He knows that Jungkook is happy every time he uses it.

Taehyung used to speak Korean when he was growing up but then his parents slipped out of his life, and for a long time he was surrounded by white people who fetishized him in ways that he knew they might not even be aware of. Everything changed when he met Jimin, who whispered sweet wonderful things to him in Korean, waking up a part of his brain that had fallen asleep.

Now, he feels a powerful punch in his chest when he hears Jungkook speak the language, like he’s been hugged hard enough to wind him. He cried the first time he heard Jungkook speak it and the younger man had called him “hyung” when he asked what was wrong, which only made him cry harder. The language was lost in this new life. Gone with the people who spoke it to Taehyung; and then Jungkook brought it back and Taehyung hadn’t realized just how much he had missed it.

“I could really fucking go for a plate of nachos,” you answer Jungkook and for a brief moment silence fills the hungry space between all of them and this memory.

“There was this place I used to go when I was a teenager. My friends and I would skip class in the afternoons and all pile into a car and drive to this shitty little strip mall and then crowd the restaurant. It had like four small tables and we’d take up two of them, push them together, and then order a large plate of nachos and fuuuuuuck,” you drag out the word like the elongated vowel brings back the taste of nachos on your tongue. “They were the best thing in the entire world. Homemade corn chips, perfectly seasoned meat and veggies. OH GOD! The guacamole and salsa!”

You slip into the memory and Taehyung watches you. It’s such a funny moment to be sharing in the middle of the tree covered mountain. It could be considered a stupid memory or frivolous by some, but Taehyung and Jungkook allow you to bask in it. They give you the room that you need to let it grow, listening to every word that spills from your mouth. Taehyung lets his mind picture the small restaurant, you and your friends filling it with your laughter and happiness. He smiles.

“The restaurant was owned by a small family and it had red wallpaper with some newspaper clippings that were framed,” you said, your tone changing as you slipped deeper into the memory. “I wish I had read those clippings.”

There’s a brief moment of silence. The forest around them breathes in and out and Taehyung turns his gaze to the tops of the trees watching as they sway. It feels comforting to be surrounded by such tall things. He always liked feeling closed in. Protected by tall buildings or too many people.

He hated the severe contrast of Ontario into the prairie provinces. Manitoba, and then Saskatchewan, each made him feel uneasy with their wide open spaces and flatness. It made him feel exposed. The cold only added to the feeling. Like the prairies were trying to peel back his skin and make him as vulnerable as possible.

“There was this stand five minutes away from the house I grew up in that sold tteokbokki. It was so spicy that when I was younger my brother and I would see how long we could keep the rice cake on our tongue before crying,” Jungkook says and Taehyung concentrates on the back of Jungkook’s head.

He tries to imagine a younger Jungkook, with his big eyes and those dimples, living his life in Busan. Standing on the street and eating delicious, spicy food, and seeing how long they could last. He imagines them laughing at each other as they take turns suffering.

“He could always do it longer than me.” There’s a subtle tone change in Jungkook’s voice that makes Taehyung realize that he’s smiling at the memory.

There’s a hardened sadness to Jungkook that coats his eyes and almost his entire aura. Taehyung thinks that he’s the opposite of Hoseok who was loud and full of energy. Sometimes Jungkook lets his emotions play like little projections on his eyes and it reminds him so much of Hoseok, who could never hide anything from anyone. Hoseok would get so frustrated when Taehyung would tell him that he knew what Hoseok was feeling.

“Sometimes I just want to keep something to myself, so if you see it could you at least fucking pretend you don’t?!”

“What about you, Tae?” you ask turning back to look at him for a brief moment.

“What?” he asks as he is snapped back into reality.

“Any particular food that you would love to try again if you could?”

He nods but doesn’t elaborate. Isn’t given the chance to because suddenly there is a loud sound from behind them. It’s far away but enough to shake the ground below their feet. They freeze. Taehyung stares at you and Jungkook, both looking past him. Behind him.

It doesn’t sound like an explosion. No, more like something is imploding, falling against the mountain and then in the mountain.

Then silence.

“Run,” Jungkook whispers.

Taehyung’s gaze shifts in quick movements - in front of him then below him - but never behind. No. He can’t look behind.

Maybe if they’re lucky the hoard will be small. Maybe if they’re lucky it won’t be a rush to get out; and maybe if they’re lucky the hoard will realize there isn’t anyone or anything around and they will stay put.

Hoards don't work that way.

He doesn’t know how long they run for. His chest burns, his legs ache, his heart pumps adrenaline and fear. He doesn’t know how long they run for before they hear the wail that pushes past all the trees and through his body.

“Fuck,” he whispers and runs faster.

He never wants to see the monster that he knows has created that sound. He never wants to see one up close because he knows that he won’t survive the encounter.

“Keep going, keep going,” he says to himself and to the two in front of him, scared to say it louder.

Then suddenly, as if they haven’t been through enough, the earth cracks with a large snap and he’s falling.

“Taehyung!” he hears both Jungkook and your voice before everything goes silent.

He falls. He doesn’t know for how long but he falls. The earth, trees, falling with him. Snow billows and circles around him like a cloud obscuring his vision.

So, he closes his eyes and lets it happen.

°•°•°

He wakes to silence with a jump. His body kicking into high gear immediately. He looks around him. Surrounded by rocks and trees.

The mountain towers over him and he can see bodies. Infected crushed. The sinkhole must have caused it but he doesn’t stay still long enough to try and figure out too much. He runs.

He wants to call out for his friends but doesn't in fear of attracting anything unwanted. Something feels hot on his neck but he ignores it. He ignores the pain pooling in his wrist. He ignores it all as his body uses up the last bit of adrenaline and energy.

The sun sets and rises twice and he still doesn’t stop. He keeps moving through the darkness. He has to keep moving.

Then almost as soon as the sun rises the third time he sees it.

He sees the fence first and then slowly everything comes into view as he looks past it, through it. A town. Someone has built a fence to protect a town. He stops and stares at it. He smells the smoke before he sees it slipping out of a chimney. People.

He knows he should be afraid. He knows that he should think twice about walking right up to the fence and yelling until someone hears him but his body aches, his wrist is broken (he realized that after the first sunset), and he needs food or else he’s going to die.

He walks to the fence, stopping before he touches it and then cups his hands around his mouth, ignores the burn in his wrist, and yells.

“HEY!”

Nothing.

He does this once, twice, and then he sees movement. A man walking down the street. He carries a rifle but Taehyung doesn’t care. The man stops as soon as he sees Taehyung, who waves, and calls him again.

Taehyung reaches forward and touches one finger to the fence and then, for the second time in just a couple of days, everything goes black.

°•°•°

Yoongi is an idiot. He’s a fucking idiot who is carrying an unconscious man into the house closest to the gate. This is the first time in five years that he’s done anything careless and gone against everything he was taught.

He doesn’t know why he does it. Not that he has anyone to explain his actions to. He can do whatever he wants and still he mumbles to himself.

At least he checked for infection with the scanner. One smart thing amongst a pile of fucking stupid.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Min. Build a secure place for yourself, keep yourself safe for five whole fucking years and now you’re going to let some idiot who touches an electric fence possibly ruin that?”

He moves around the man now laying on the dining room table of a house that he hasn’t entered since that first week when he went to every house and checked for supplies. It’s dusty and there are cobwebs connecting the table top to the floor.

“You’re just going to fix him up and then kick him the fuck out. Point him in the direction of Vancouver and let him fend for himself,” he mumbles as he brings his fingers to the other man’s neck and finds the pulse.

“Still alive. Good. You’re a fucking idiot, whoever you are.”

He’s not sure who he said that last thing to - himself or the unconscious man. He fixes the strap on his rifle that sits on his back like a backpack, and then leaves the man and walks into the bathroom where he knows there is a first aid kit.

“Jesus Christ, Min,” he says as he walks back with the kit in his hand, swinging beside his leg.

He stops talking to himself as he cleans the wound on the man’s neck, making sure it’s not a bite. He pours the alcohol onto the cotton pad, the pungent smell filling his nostrils, and then he drags it over the cut.

The man sits up, knocking the pad out of Yoongi’s hand. The first aid kit falls. The bottle hits the floor and begins spilling the liquid onto the rug.

“Fuck,” Yoongi lets out as he bends over and picks it up before the bottle empties.

The other man turns to him, fear written all over his face, and before the other can do anything Yoongi pulls the rifle off his back with ease and precision and points it straight at the man’s head.

The man immediately holds his hands up.

“What happened?”

“You touched my electric fence. Like an idiot,” Yoongi answers, not moving. "Are you an idiot?"

“I’m lost.”

Yoongi nods.

“Do - do you have any food? I’m starving.”

Yoongi doesn’t move.

“Please? I was with my friends but there was a sinkhole and then an avalanche and…”

Yoongi’s eyes go wide and he interrupts the other.

“You survived that?” he asks.

Yoongi saw the avalanche. It was too far in the distance but he knew what the sound was and then he looked up and saw the cloud of earth and snow rise.

“I guess so,” the other man says, low and weak and Yoongi feels pity pool somewhere deep in his abdomen. “I’m not sure actually, I could be dead for all I know. Maybe this is hell.”

Yoongi watches as the other man smiles just a little.

“You walked from there to here?”

Yoongi doesn’t know why he’s asking these questions but he thinks it might be because he’s a little impressed.

“You’re fucking lucky.”

The other man’s eyes go wide and then he shakes his head, his gaze falling to the table top, his hands still raised.

The thought appears in his head moments before he says it out loud. Before he can catch himself.

“I have food. I’ll bandage that wound and then you leave, okay?”

His uncle told him that he wouldn’t be able to trust people and in the five years since the world went to shit, people have only proven his dead uncle right. People fight for survival.

The other man nods.

“Do you have a shower?”

Yoongi nods.

Yup. He’s a fucking moron.

°•°•°

please comment, reblog, like, or feel free to come into my mailbox! 💖💖

#yoongi #taehyung #performer: sugalaritae #p: m x m #p: m x r #g: smut #g: angst #g: fluff #w: chapters #wc: 1-10k #r: 18+

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

Text

Official Notice | BCN → Bangtan Theatre Net 🎭

Hello everyone! With a new year, we wanted to experience and allow change into our network, which means a fresh start, and in doing so we wish to welcome you all to the Bangtan Theatre Net. The circus has run its course and it's time for the curtains to be drawn on this act, but fret not. For there is another show in town that welcomes you with open arms.

From now on, the following will happen. The circus will leave town on the 28th of February, allowing the Theatre to open its doors to you.

What does this change entail? We will no longer be reblogging content or making acceptances after the 28th of February.

Will the blog be deleted? No, we will keep the network blog as an archive, so interested can view and interact with the content, but it will be inactive and not be monitored after the 28th.

Will the discord server be deleted? Yes, after the 28th server will be deleted.

We’d like to thank our performers for making this experience so wonderful and making it an enjoyable performance, but we ask that you follow us into the next chapter. Where we hope to see you flourish even more and become more of an amazing performer than you already are! 💕

See you on the other side, - Indi, Beezy, Sarah, Syria, AJ & Siya

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

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Carnival Birthday!

On behalf of the Bangtan Carnival Team and members, we wish you the best and a wonderful birthday filled with love and joy! Let there be applause, and let there be cheer for our beloved performer Griddle’s @sugalaritae birthday! Thank you for letting us be with you on your special day! We look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you!

- From the Carnival Team

#carnival birthday

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

Text

Bonus:

For Rid → @taegularities (taehyung loves you)

#jungkook #performer: archivebysky #v: gifs

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

Text

Stalemate, Part 2 | MYG

Stalemate (Mini-series)

Definition: (1) Chess. a position of the pieces in which a player cannot move any piece except the king and cannot move the king without putting it in check. (2) any position or situation in which no action can be taken or progress made; deadlock

Pairing: Woodworker!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞; NSFW

Genre: breakup!AU; toxic relationships; angst; fluff; smut; heavy drama

Summary: "The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over."

Word count: 8K+ words

Warnings (more written in individual chapters): ANGST; problematic exes; relationship insecurities; alcohol consumption; cussing; miscommunication; past infidelity (reader had an affair with a married man but not detailed); vulnerable confessions; jealousy; verbal confrontation; lots of crying; it just gets really dramatic

A/N: Okay so...now this final installment is just...ANGST...but with payoff (I think)??? Anyway, this is un-beta'd so I hope the story makes sense!

Now…

“You think he’s still butthurt about the whole thing?” Hyejin asks.

“I don’t know what to think.” You shrugged and took a sip of your drink. “I thought we had a clean break.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s what you think. Is this the first time you two have seen each other since things ended?”

Narrowing your lips into a thin line, you nodded. Her eyebrows lift in disbelief. “Wow…really?”

“Yep,” you say, popping the ‘p.’

“But how is that possible? He still hangs out with Namjoon and with the gallery’s construction–”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, Hye…somehow, our meetings with you guys never overlapped.” You figured part of it was due to Namjoon’s very meticulous planning.

Hyejin’s eyes widened. “Damn. And is it true that you both unfollowed each other on your socials?”

You let out an exasperated breath. “Come on, Hyejin. Isn’t that just sort of a natural thing to do after you break up? How many of your exes do you have on your socials?”

She grimaced. “Uhm…a few of them?”

Now it was your turn to bulge your eyes at her. “What?”

“Yeah. They’re still on my list.”

Your mouth falls open. “Do you ever view their profile, lurk, and see what they’re up to?”

“No, not like that,” she says. “They pop up because they’re on my feed but not because I actively seek them. They’re just there…it’s like a useless appendage or something.”

“But why even keep them there in the first place if they serve no purpose?”

“I don’t know. It’s just not a huge deal to me. I don’t bear any ill will toward them and I hope they think the same of me.”

“What does Namjoon think about all that?”

“It’s whatever. His ex is still on his list but it’s not something that keeps me up at night,” she explains. Then she gasps, looks at you, and remembers something. “Shit, I'm sorry. No offense, babe.” She reaches across to squeeze your hand assuringly.

You smile and appreciate her consideration. “None taken, babe.”

Hyejin smiles back. “Anyway, Joon and I have an understanding that all of those relationships are done. It’s about us now.”

You sigh in frustration, recalling how things went down with Yoongi. “I guess I wish everyone was in the same mindset as you both are.”

“Put it this way—I’m not bothered by it and neither is Namjoon. But if one day, he suddenly asks me to delete them off my list then I would do it, no question.”

“Really?” You did your best to hide your skepticism. Hyejin normally didn’t allow her man to dictate what she could and couldn’t do in her life.

“I would do it out of love and respect for him. If I asked him to do the same, he would too. It’s not about trying to prove a point or compromising your beliefs to please your partner. This person, whom you love, is setting clear boundaries. The question is whether you love that person enough to set a new boundary so you can honor theirs. It all depends on the situation!”

“I don’t know, Hye–you’re always so headstrong, though.”

“And so are you, YN. It’s why we’re besties,” she giggles. “But you know, when you find the right person,” she looks off into the distance and catches Namjoon’s eye, making her smile fondly, “…You wouldn’t mind loosening the reins a bit.”

You took a long swig of your drink. “Wow…you’ve changed Ms. Ahn.”

“Yeah, sometimes we need to embrace change. Although, I do miss my hoe-ing days every now and then,” she winked at you.

Truthfully, you envied her. When you and Yoongi were together, she would tease you about monogamy, yet she was always so supportive of your relationship.

You shook your head. “Well…personally, I feel like cleaning out your social media timeline is a way to move on.”

“That’s just part of it, babe. If a person wants to move on, they can and will…with or without social media.” Just then, she looks past your shoulder as something new catches her eye.

You turn your head in curiosity to find Yoongi craning his neck through the crowd as if searching for someone, until his eyes land on you. You locked gazes for a few seconds before he started moving toward you. You quickly turn away.

“Looks like he wants to talk,” Hyejin remarks. As Yoongi closes in, you see him from your peripheral vision.

“I’m gonna go check on Namjoonie,” she says with a small smile at you. Before she walks away, she gives Yoongi a quick nod.

Then…

After a marathon of morning calls and virtual meetings, you took advantage of the lull to stretch your legs and maybe attempt to have lunch with Yoongi. He’s been insanely busy with projects as well and though you stayed over at each other’s places often, you barely spent quality time together in the last week.

You emerge from the room and hear anxious mumbling by his workshop.

“Hey,” you poked your head from the corner to see him in the middle of a tense conversation with Namjoon.

“Hey, YN!”

“Joon! Yoongi didn’t mention that you were stopping by!” You walked over to give him a hug.

“Oh, it was just a pit stop for me, among other things I'm supposed to do today,” he smiled.

“Why don't you stay for lunch? I’m making–”

“That won’t be necessary, YN,” Yoongi says curtly, making you recoil. Yoongi sees the worried expression on your face and tries to remedy it. “What I mean to say is, Namjoon was on his way out anyway and he just told me that he’s got a full afternoon ahead.”

You turn to Namjoon, who grimaces. “I…appreciate the offer, YN but Yoongi’s right. I’ve got a lot of errands to run. Maybe next time, huh?”

“Sure, of course!” You look at him and back at Yoongi and decide not to push any further. You already knew that one of Yoongi’s clients has been extra demanding so you were on a need-to-know basis.

You leave the workshop and walk into the kitchen to check the pantry. He hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a while so instead of trying to make something, you just pull up the food delivery app on your phone to order something more convenient.

“Jagi, is there anything in particular that you’re craving for?”

“No, baby. Surprise me,” he answers distantly, continuing his conversation with Namjoon.

While placing the order, you couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their argument through the divider.

“Bro, I don’t know how you could have just let the deadline pass. Jiwon placed the order months ago and I get here and you’ve got other orders getting picked up for shipment. Orders that were placed after hers. You said that it was totally doable–”

“I know what I said, Namjoonah!” He lets out a frustrated groan. “Look, just tell Jiwon that we ran into a supplier issue. I’ll fucking fix it, okay?”

“What the fuck do you expect me to tell her?”

“Can’t you figure that part out? Isn’t this why you’re the client relations half of this business?”

You hear footsteps approach in your direction so you retreat back into the bedroom and pretend that this was just a regular business squabble between friends.

Namjoon lets out a grunt of annoyance.

“Okay, look,” Yoongi relents. “Just stop stressing out. I’ll call Jiwon myself later to let her know that her shit will get done. Alright?”

Namjoon nods. “Thanks, man. She’s in a pissy mood. You know her better than I do.”

******

The weekend finally arrives and you and Yoongi have plans.

You were such a nervous wreck that you start to flap your elbows as if they were wings to cool your sweaty armpits. You were meeting Yoongi’s mom tonight for dinner. She lives a few hours away and rarely visits. She was looking forward to getting to know the new woman in her son’s life.

You make your way in front of the mirror, fluffing your hair and doing some final checks on your makeup. You lean in closer and flash your teeth, making sure that you didn’t have any lipstick stains on them.

“How much longer do you need?” Yoongi asks while he leans against the doorframe. Looking at his reflection, he was handsome as ever with his hair pulled back in a ponytail and a casual look. As much as you enjoyed him dressed in his coveralls while he worked, you always considered his date-night looks a treat.

“Two minutes.” You smooth your dress one more time and turn around to make sure that your skirt didn’t have any creases on it.

“We’re just meeting my mom for dinner, not the queen.”

“I know that. I just want to make a good impression,” you rationalized. “How do I look?” You turn to him and put your hands to the sides, presenting yourself.

“Beautiful,” he says with a soft smile.

******

Your laughs ring through the restaurant after Yoongi’s mom make a cheeky joke at her son’s expense.

“Eomma…” He warns.

“Lighten up, adeul! It’s just a little joke.”

“Sure, ma,” he responds dryly.

She sipped on her wine and turns her attention to you. “You know, YN, I really like you! You’re just so…gah…the word is escaping me right now!”

You tensed up in anticipation of the next word that would come out of her mouth.

“Refreshing! That’s what I meant to say. You’re such a breath of fresh air!” She exclaims.

Your shoulders visibly relax at the compliment.

“Thank you, Mrs. Min–”

“Please, call me eomma,” she smiled warmly. “Let’s skip the formalities! Even better, we should get together for drinks sometime–” then she puts her hand up to the side of her mouth as if to whisper in an exaggerated manner to you, “You know, without Mr. Grumpy Cat here,” she mumbled.

You both giggle like close girlfriends while Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“I’d love that, eomma! Why don’t we exchange numbers after this and we can get something on our calendars?” You proposed.

His mom beamed. “Excellent! The sooner, the better!”

You smiled excitedly at how well you were warming up to Yoongi’s mom. You had a very different idea of how this night was going to turn out. The server comes by to check in, asking if there was anything else that they can get you. You picked up your wineglass and polished off whatever was left in it.

“Can I please get another glass of cabernet?” You ask him.

“Of course, miss.” He asks the rest of the table, to which his mom requests that her glass be topped off as well. Yoongi declines.

“You know, I should say–I’m shocked that Yoongi let you order that second glass of wine.”

Your brows creased in confusion. You cleared your throat, “I…beg your pardon?” You ask slowly.

“Well, back then, Jiwon–Yoongi’s ex–she didn’t drink much. On the rare occasion that she did, Yoongi made sure to cap it at a glass. She was always uptight, that one. Nice girl, very formal, comes from a good family. But oof…so uptight. Unfortunately, that’s Yoongi’s type though…” she remarks flippantly.

Yoongi shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Eomma…please.”

“Was there something wrong with what I said? Are we not supposed to talk about Jiwon? We’re just having a conversation here.”

You shift your attention to Yoongi’s direction, where he keeps his eyes low. Yoongi himself had never mentioned her name to you, but you knew of their history.

You’d heard that name before…it was the same name of the person that he and Namjoon were arguing about recently.

Deep down, you sincerely hoped that those were two different Jiwons.

******

The rest of dinner goes on without any further awkward conversations about certain ex-fiancees. You bid his mom farewell and promise to give her a call to schedule a girls’ night when she’s back in town.

Yoongi, on the other hand, looks exhausted when you get in the car. “I can drive if you’re too–”

“Nah, it’s fine. You had a couple glasses. Besides, it’s a short ride, I can manage.”

After a few minutes of silence, you break the tension on the drive back to his place.

“Your mom is so adorable, jagi. I love her!” You beamed excitedly.

“Yeah, seems like you two really hit it off. I didn’t realize you had a lot in common,” he says wryly.

You laughed. “What’s the matter with you? Aren’t you glad that your mom and I are getting along well?”

“Of course I am,” he replies, still looking straight ahead down the road, his expression unreadable.

“If you’re happy then why do you look like someone just kicked your puppy? Was it because she mentioned Jiwon?”

He lets out a frustrated groan. “Please, YN–can we not bring that up again?”

“Is it because she’s a princess who doesn’t drink and obeys everything that you ask her to do?”

“YN, please!” He smacks his hand on the steering wheel. “Please…just…let’s not hash that out, okay?”

You hold your tongue and cross your arms over your chest, seething the rest of the way back.

When he pulls into the driveway, he turns off the engine, then steps out of the car while you remain in the passenger seat.

“Are you throwing a tantrum?”

“No,” you say shortly.

He gets back in the car and coaxes the information out of you. “Come on, what’s going through your mind?”

“I was just thinking–maybe I shouldn’t have ordered that second glass of wine.”

He lets out a sound of exasperation and grips his forehead. “Are we still on that?”

“No, really though…maybe…” you shrug, “I don’t know, maybe I should be more like Jiwon? You know, a good girl.”

“What is your point, YN?”

“My point, Yoongi, is…why are you with me?”

“Why am I with you? W-what do you mean?”

“Why do you love me?” You press him.

He stares at you, taken aback by your interrogation. “Why do I love you?” He repeats. “What kind of a question is that?”

“A legitimate one!”

He scoffs angrily. “I don’t have time to deal with this shit right now, YN…I’m stressed, and I’m–”

“Okay. I get it,” you huff. You grab your coat and purse and step out of the car.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He barked.

“I’m calling a rideshare to take me back home!” You spat over your shoulder, pulling up your app to summon a car.

“YN, you’re being ridiculous!”

“Just leave me alone. It seems like you need a little bit of space. So I will give you that!”

At half past 1AM, your phone buzzes while you lie awake in bed. You picked it up off the nightstand to see Yoongi’s name and face flashing on your screen.

You second-guess answering…but you were the idiot who picked a fight with him. You press the green button and hold the phone to your ear, saying nothing.

“Baby…come home, please,” he begs you.

“I don’t know…I just need some time,” was all you say before you both hang up.

After another half an hour of pathetically staring up at your ceiling, you sat up and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. Like a lovesick puppy, you put on your sweats, call another rideshare to take you back to his house, where you crawl into his waiting arms.

Now…

“Hey, YN,” Yoongi says awkwardly as he approached you.

“Hi,” you say icily. You couldn’t forget the comments he made to Namjoon about you while you were in the bathroom.

“Uh, listen…I just wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? What for?”

“Y-you know,” he stutters. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Which part exactly?” You ask him. “That I’m loud and bring too much drama with me? Or that I’m a bad cook?” You scoffed. “I used to cook for you all those nights when you had no time to make yourself a meal because you were so busy with work. You used to say that you loved my cooking!”

“You weren’t a terrible cook,” you counters. “I just…I was being stupid.”

“Oh, I know,” you tell him and laughed softly.

Moments of uncomfortable silence later, he asks, “So uh…how’ve you been?”

“I’m good,” you answer sincerely. “You?”

“Great,” he replies. “Are you…here with anyone?”

You chuckled at his forwardness. “No, but I’m supposed to meet someone in an hour.”

His lips parted slightly, “Ah, I see,” he smiled tightly. “Like…a date or…a boyfriend?”

“What’s it to you?” You smiled enigmatically.

“Just trying to make conversation...and I was just curious.” He looked like he wanted to say more after that but he looks away and takes a swig of his drink.

“What about you? Did you bring a date?”

He shook his head. “I haven’t spent enough time with anyone to bring them to things like this.”

“I see,” you answer. “So, just casually dating, huh?”

“What’s it to you?” He returns your question.

“Touche!” You both chuckled.

“I thought you were going to start mouthing off to me and Namjoon earlier by the bathrooms,” he laughs.

You swat the air. “Old YN may have but…I’m a changed woman now.”

“Oh, really?” He asks.

“Yeah. You know, it’s been a while and I’ve changed my ways. I try to watch what I say these days.”

Yoongi smiles guiltily.

“Besides, I used to talk shit about you all the time so…I think we’re even now.”

“Oh you have, haven’t you?”

“Oh yeah…many times! A bitch was bitter back then,” you laughed.

“I’d love to hear this!” He leans in excitedly.

“Hear what?”

“Tell me what you used to say about me.”

Chuckling, you eventually relent. “Hmm…okay, let’s see.” While you try to recall all of the angst that you used to spew at Hyejin, you are briefly distracted by his fingers, drumming lazily on the bar’s surface.

You blink away memories of his hands and other things that they were capable of. “Well, my biggest issue with you was that you had trouble letting go of the past.”

“Interesting,” he remarks.

“That, plus you were a pushover,” you added.

He doubles over in laughter. When he calms down, he says, “So…I get too hung on up on the past and I’m a pushover. That’s why you left me?”

You cock your head to the side and turn serious. “C’mon, Yoongi. You know exactly why I left you.”

Then…

You drive down Yoongi’s street to find a sleek SUV blocking his driveway. You didn’t recognize it but figured it may have been a client trying to meet with him to oversee their order’s progress. Not a huge deal, you thought. You parked a block away instead.

You walk through the door with a box of pastries that you picked up on the way from your place. Yoongi loved their almond croissants so you grabbed a couple extra as a treat.

You caught sight of him standing in the workshop, deep in conversation with some unseen guests who were obscured by the divider.

With a big smile, you walk toward him to greet him. He sees you out of the corner of his eyes and a look of panic mars his features. “YN…hey.” He was surprised to see you.

You turn your attention to the two other people in the room–Namjoon and an unknown female who was crouched down, closely inspecting the legs on these accent chairs that Yoongi had tirelessly worked on for weeks.

“Hey, YN,” Namjoon greets you, while you are yet to be acknowledged by this persnickety client dressed in a designer shift dress and equally expensive heels. Her hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail...not a strand out of place.

A chill ran down your spine, making you wrap your arms protectively around your chest.

“Why are the legs uneven?” Were the first words you hear out of her mouth. “And it looks like a few of them don’t even have any finishing coats yet.”

Her voice was small, but firm in tone. It sounded like the type that was used in professional settings or presentations. It was also the type that turned shrill when provoked.

She looks at Yoongi pointedly, awaiting his answer.

“Uh, by the way, YN, this is Jiwon, my client. Jiwon, this is YN.”

You arched an eyebrow in realization. “Oh…hi there,” you say a little too loudly. You stuck your hand out to her, offering a handshake. Her eyes flicked down to your hand while her face remained stiff. There was a slight wince in her nose, as if she smelled something bad.

Before you withdraw your hand in embarrassment, she clasps her hand in yours to shake it gently. “Hi, YN. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m Yoongi’s girlfriend,” you add.

She smiles tightly and proceeds with her inspection on the products.

Namjoon stands there, breaking a sweat, seemingly stuck in limbo. The tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

“I brought some pastries, by the way. I got you your favorite, ja–”

“That’s great. Uhm, could you just put in the kitchen? We’re a little busy here,” Yoongi says, while closely following Jiwon’s every move.

“Oh.” The shortness of his tone stung you, but you soldier on, marking your territory.

“Anyone want anything to drink? Coffee, maybe?”

“I-I’ll take one,” Namjoon says.

“What about you, Jiwon?”

“She doesn’t drink coffee,” Yoongi answers for her.

Jiwon turns her head toward you. "I'm good, thanks for the offer," she says, before continuing her inspection.

Your chest feels tight all of a sudden but you don’t make it obvious. Instead, you smile politely and leave them to do their business.

You move into the kitchen to set your box of pastries aside then set up the single-brew machine to make some coffee for Namjoon.

Distantly, you hear their conversation through the wall.

“I don’t know, Yoongi. I’m really disappointed in the quality. Even the upholstering is mediocre. They look and feel rushed. What’s going on?”

It takes a while for Yoongi to answer. “That’s all fixable,” he says simply. “I just need a deadline extension.”

“Okay. If I give you the extension, can you actually deliver on the quality this time?” She asks.

“Of course. You don’t need to worry about a thing,” he answers immediately.

“Alright. So…how much time do you need? And is this going to cost me extra?”

“I’ll, uh…I’ll eat up the cost since it was my an issue on my end. And regarding timing–”

“How are you gonna get this all done, Yoongi? Are you sure that you can do this?”

“Yes, Jiwon, I told you–there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll hire more guys and pay overtime. We’ll get this done for you.”

After a while, she’s seemingly satisfied with his answer. “Okay. I guess Namjoon and I can just circle back?”

All three of them walk toward the front door.

“Yeah, just call Namjoon…or you can call me directly to follow up, too.” Yoongi offers.

“Alright. I’ll just reach out to both of you, I guess.”

You turn around just in time to see her give Yoongi a lingering hug. “Thanks again, Yoongi. I really appreciate this.”

“Of course…anything for you, Jiwon.”

With that, your heart sinks to your stomach and you suddenly have the urge to vomit. You retreat into the bathroom and hurl but nothing comes out.

******

Later that evening, you were working late on the restaurant revamp contract. You had to place a call to your other supplier to make sure that their quote was still good since the client had asked for it to be adjusted, for the fifth time.

It was a good thing you’d work with this supplier for nearly a decade now. You pretty much had the owner on speed-dial.

Unfortunately, Yoongi was planning on pulling an all-nighter so he could finish one project to make fixes to the other project that he messed up.

“Jagiii!” You yell out from his bedroom, hoping he’d hear from all the loud banging he was making.

“Yeah?” he bellowed from his workshop.

“Could I just have five minutes for a phone call?”

“Can’t you just take your call outside?” He responds.

That was weird, you thought. You could, technically, take the call outside but you needed your laptop and documents in front of you in order to make changes in real-time.

You walked out of the bedroom and into his workshop. “Please? It’s just for a few minutes. I just really need to sweet-talk this supplier so I can get this contract sealed–”

“No, YN. I’m so behind on this project already. Every minute counts!”

You scoffed. “I mean, what’s five minutes? This project’s already delayed, right? And your backlog is nuts–”

He looks at you and snapped, “Exactly! Do you think my work is easy? Do you think all of this–” he waved his arm at the room, “...is easy?”

You chuckled at his abrupt change in tone. “What the hell crawled up your ass?”

He huffed out a breath. “I’m saying, that I hate how you think that I can just chill every time and pull me away from my work–”

“Woah-woah,” you stop him right then. “I never said anything like that. I’m literally asking for five minutes and you’re here getting your panties in a twist.”

He tosses the mallet and piece of metal sheeting haphazardly on his work table. He raked his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “See, this is why I can’t get this damned thing done–”

“You can’t or won’t?”

“What?” He asks, utterly confused.

“You can’t get it done or you don’t want to get it done because you want to delay it further? Because getting it done means the end of your contract with her.” You walk away from the workshop and into the living room.

“Are we really going to argue about this again?” He asks, still standing in his workshop.

“Yes!” You say loudly from the other room.

Seconds later, you see him round the corner and join you. “Why? Why do we need to argue about this? What’s the point?”

You let out a sharp breath scowled at him. “I heard the way you talked to her! Going out of your way to pay your guys overtime, moving your whole schedule around to deliver her shit…and that goodbye hug?” You let out a pained, mocking laugh.

You held off for as long as you could but you were already deep into a jealous rage. The way he spoke so gently to her, trying to assure her that she didn’t need to stress off her order. Offering to cover the extra expenses, was too much.

“She’s a client and we just happen to have a history. So?”

His flippant comment further incensed you.

“How is this different from your married guy that we ran into before?”

“My married g—Oh, now you’re turning this conversation about me? My past?”

“Well, yeah! You acted all weird when we saw what’s-his-face!” He retorts.

“Right, but what’s different is that was the first time I’d seen him in a while. Have we seen him again since then? No. But you? You are working with Jiwon!” You exclaim.

“‘Call me directly…’” You say mockingly. “‘Anything for you,’” you spat bitterly.

“We have a professional relationship, okay? She is my client.”

“Couldn’t you get different clients, Yoongi? It’s not like you have a shortage in your backlog.” You countered.

“Jiwon has been my longtime client. I’ve made many connections because of her.”

You clenched your jaw and seethed.

“You go out to dinners and have drinks with your clients all the time! You come home late after partying all night,” he scolds.

You scoffed angrily. “I am not partying!”

“Sure,” he says sarcastically.

“Hey, at least I was never engaged to any of my clients,” you countered bitterly.

He glared at you. “So she’s my ex-fiancee, big fucking deal! The operative term, being ‘ex,’ okay? What is your point here, exactly? Why are you getting all worked up about this?”

You stood up from the couch and angrily stomped toward him. “Because it hurts my feelings, Yoongi! And I can’t help but think that you still want her.”

“But I don’t, YN! I love you!” He insists.

“Why do you love me, Yoongi?” You asked in a sudden, calmer tone.

“What?” He’s taken aback by how unreasonable and ridiculous you were sounding.

“I’m asking Why. Do you. Love me.” You punctuate each phrase. “Why are you with me? Are you with me just because to prove to yourself, or to her…that you’ve moved on?”

“Why are you being like this, YN? We’re just arguing in circles here!” He yells out in frustration.

“Okay, fine. I’ll make it easier for you then. Let me ask you this–are you really over her? Because if you’re not…fuck…just tell me and we can put a stop to this craziness right now.”

“I’m with you, aren’t I? What else do you want from me?”

Heat prickled at your forehead and you start to taste bile in the back of your throat. What else do you want from me? Like he was doing you a fucking favor?

“What I really want to know from you is–why is it that my ex is a problem for you? So I ran into the guy…a guy whom I haven’t had any contact with at all since I ended things and still haven’t had contact after the fact? And yet, you expect me to be completely fine with you communicating regularly with your ex? ”

The silence is deafening as he’s despondent for a minute. At this point, the tears flow freely down your cheeks.

“Don’t you think there’s anything wrong with that?” You ask him pointedly.

“I don’t see it that way,” he finally answers.

It wasn’t the answer that you were expecting so you drive your point home. “And you wouldn’t consider breaking off a working relationship with your ex-fiancee even after I’ve told you that the amount of access that she has to you makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable?”

Yoongi shook his head slowly. “YN…I just can’t drop a longtime client like that.”

“You mean you won’t drop her.”

“YN, please–”

“You know how I feel right now?” You interrupt him. “I feel like a shiny new thing that you’re just using to prove to yourself that you’re over her. It makes me feel like a piece of shit.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, a pained expression on his face. “You think I’m using you as a rebound? Is that it?”

“Aren’t I? Maybe you only liked me because I’m the complete opposite of her! You know, I’m loud, I like to go out…I drink…I’m fun…” You swipe at the tears that spilled out of your eyes. “I’m not the type you bring home to mom. Not the type you’d marry, right?”

“For fuck’s sake, YN…can you stop thinking that everyone’s out to hurt you?”

“Do you really love me, Yoongi?” You ask him point blank.

He returns your gaze and held it there for a minute before answering. “Yes, of course I do.”

“More than you love her?”

He is dumbfounded by your question. It was unexpected but you needed to know…desperately. You needed to know to help put your fears aside. Unable to meet your gaze, he looks away.

His reticence told you that you were at an impasse. Locked in a stalemate, without any moves left.

Swallowing what felt like glass shards down your throat, you say, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You turn on your heel and walk off.

The next morning, you packed up your things and left.

Now…

“So who did you love more, me or Jiwon?”

Growing flustered by your invasive question, he panics. “What is this, an interrogation?”

“Oh, come on…” you say in jest. “We’re just two people having an open conversation here.”

“Are you serious?” He laughs, his gummy smile in full display. “So I really have to answer that?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding? It’s not like we have ties to each other anymore. We’ve had enough time apart, time to think things through.”

“Why do you need to know so badly?”

“Because! I feel like I’m entitled to that information,” you say in a light, joking tone. Then, you turn a bit more serious. “Also…we used to care about each other at one point in our lives. I feel that I’ve earned the right to ask.”

He shifts his weight between his feet, taking a sip of his drink–you hoped–would help give him the extra push to answer. Except, he doesn’t and instead grins shyly.

“Still no answer, Mr. Min? Alright, fine!” You raise your hands in defeat. “I’ll give you easier one.” You cleared your throat. “Are you still scared?”

He finds your question humorous. “Scared of what?” He clarifies.

“Repeating the whole process. To start from scratch again–the whole getting to know one another…falling in love…only to be faced with the possibility of it not working out. We talked about that a long time ago, remember?”

His face visibly relaxed. “I do…very clearly, in fact, now that you mention it.”

“And?”

He moistened his lips and stared straight at you. “The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over.”

You feel your throat tighten in an instant. Your mouth opens to suck in a sharp breath. “Damn.” You start to fan yourself…now you were all flustered.

He kept his eyes on you. They wordlessly profess everything he’s been feeling all those years that you spent apart.

“And I agree that you’re entitled to know that I loved you more.”

You were at a loss. All that pomp and confidence that you felt had shriveled up at his confession.

“Well, you asked. So there you go.”

You laughed. “I know…I deserved that,” you say uncomfortably.

Your speechlessness makes him smirk triumphantly, making you both chuckle and effectively breaking the tension.

From a distance, the music fades under the chatter while Namjoon’s voice booms through the microphone. “Good evening, everybody!”

You and Yoongi turn your attention to the middle of the room, where Namjoon stood along with Hyejin.

“I just wanted to thank you all for coming out tonight. I’m so happy that I have great friends and partners who are huge supporters of local art. We have so much talent here that we need to foster and grow. I’m glad that we have a space to promote this art so that other people can familarize themselves with it and appreciate it as well. I’d like to thank my friends who have enabled me and listen to me whine about this concept for years–it’s finally happening! And of course, my fiancee–Hyejin…baby, thank you for being patient with me and supporting my dream. I love you so much!” The crowd gushes as he pulls her in for a sweet kiss.

“And with that, let’s keep this party going, huh?” Namjoon hands the microphone back to the DJ and the music swells once more.

Yoongi turns to you suddenly. “Do you want to dance?”

You laugh, “Seriously?”

“Why not? It’s the least you can do for me after I bared my soul to you,” he says.

You roll your eyes playfully at him. “Alright! Just one song,” you say to him.

You both make your way to the makeshift dancefloor and start bobbing your head to the beat. You sway your hips to the music while you both sing along to a song familiar to both of you.

As the music plays on, the crowd gathers around you, pushing you closer together.

Although you are hyper-aware of his presence and proximity, you continue to dance to the beat. You vaguely feel his hand on the small of your back, in a sort of protective stance while the crowd closes in. At a certain point, your hips were nearly fused together, and your faces were mere inches away.

And there it was, that familiar scent of pine and citrus. The memories you had locked away years ago had resurfaced once more–coming at you in a flash while you stared into his eyes. You felt yourself fall deeper into them. The inches between you decreased…and soon enough, the tips of your noses brushed against each other.

Then, you unexpectedly jump, startled at the sound and feel of your phone blaring from your pocket. You fish it out to see the name ‘Wooyoung’ flashing on the screen.

You decline the call but send a text message, saying that it was a little loud and that you’d call back.

You back away from Yoongi, suddenly desperate to enforce some distance between you two lest you completely lose the last shred of self-control that you were clinging onto.

Once you were finally away from the crowd and into a more open, quiet space, you say to him apologetically, “I have to go.”

He pursed his lips as if trying to hold himself back from saying something. You stand there, waiting and wondering if he would change his mind and just come out with it.

After a few beats of silence, he forces his mouth into a smile, then nods. “Alright,” he says simply.

You blinked slowly. It was a pathetic effort at a reality check for you. He said the right words and gave you the absolute closure that you needed for your relationship. A small part of you wondered what would have happened if Wooyoung hadn’t tried to call you. Would you have gone in all the way to kiss him?

Sadly, it didn’t work out that way so you’ll never know. “It was good to see you, Yoongi.” Your smile didn’t reach your eyes.

“Yeah…” he breathed out. “It was good to see you, too, YN.”

“Well…I guess this is goodbye.”

You don’t wait for him to respond and instead, you turn on your heel and walk toward the exit. You tried to search around for Hyejin and Namjoon to say your ‘goodbyes’ but they looked like they were deep in conversation with another patron. You decide to shoot her a text when you got to your car instead.

Once you step out and the cool air hits you, you release one, big breath that you felt that you were onto for so long.

******

You sat alone in your car, contemplating the events that just unfolded minutes ago. You never thought you’d see him again–never. But, as fate would have it, your best friends managed to link up. How fucked up was that?

Your phone pinged, signaling a text. You lift the screen to your line of vision, seeing a name that was suddenly unfamiliar to you, with a text that said, ‘Headed to the restaurant now. Can’t wait to see you.’

You face falters at the promise. You sighed and leaned against your car’s headrest and closed your eyes.

What was he trying to pull back there? Making you yearn with all that talk about risking it all just to get a chance with you again. Who talks like that in real life?

Two knocks to your driver-side window startle you back into reality. You glanced over and see his cat-like features peeking through the glass.

You roll your window down and try to sound as casual as possible. “Hey! What’s up?”

He smiles shyly. “I…walked around the parking lot out back then down the block, hoping to still catch you.”

“Oh?” Your voice goes up slightly. “Haven’t had enough of me yet?” You tease him.

He chuckled at your cheekiness. “Yeah,” he sighed heavily, “I... didn’t like how we left things back there. You just ran off.”

You were incredulous. “Really? I thought we were good. I didn’t see anything wrong about the whole exchange. I said goodbye–”

“Yeah, exactly that,” he cuts you off. “You said ‘goodbye’.”

You chuckle awkwardly, confused by his remark. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say when you leave?”

“I know that but…I didn’t want you to leave.”

Your stomach does somersaults. You close your eyes for a second to internally smack yourself in an effort to keep it together. “Uhm…I…I don’t…I d–” You stutter.

“I didn’t want you leave, YN.” He repeats firmly. “I can’t let you walk away from me again.”

“Y-Yoongi–”

“I fucked up. I should have gone after you that day.”

You feel your nose start to sting so you swallow thickly and grip your steering wheel tightly. Yes, you wished that he had called you or stopped you from leaving. But after enough time had past, you just thought that whatever he believed then was stronger than how he felt for you. Thinking about it more, you didn’t reach out to call him either to talk things through. At the end of the day, you just thought that it wasn’t meant to be.

“Yoongi, we weren’t good for each other then.”

“Because it wasn’t the right time for us then. We both had shit to work though–I know I did. And I realized that I’d rather do this with you than anybody else.”

You inhale sharply, trying to choke back the tears while hanging onto your last shred of self-preservation. “You hurt me, Yoongi,” you barely whisper.

At this point, he crouches by the driver-side door. “I know. And I’m truly sorry for what I did. I can’t change my actions or my words from that day and that’s something that I’ll never live down. But I promise to make it up to you this time…if you’ll let me.”

You rubbed your eyes in annoyance. You were incredibly frustrated with him and frustrated at the thought that was another man who was excitedly awaiting your arrival at a restaurant a few miles away. You even jokingly imposed a stupid 5-date rule before sleeping with him, but he respected your decision and you liked that about him.

Tonight was the fifth date. The night he was expected to seal the deal with you–and yet, here you were with your ex, seemingly at a stand-off.

You look straight into his eyes. “I don’t think it’s fair that you would back me into a corner like this. That’s just not–”

“I’m…I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to lose my chance again. For the longest time, I kept telling myself that if the opportunity presented itself, I would take it. And tonight…I…I just didn’t expect tonight to happen. And I know that you have plans but…I just knew that if I let this moment pass again, then I’m no better for it.”

You pursed your lips, unsure of what to say to him even though a thousand thoughts were running through your head.

“What do you want me to do? What are you asking from me?” It was all you could manage to cobble up. You were a mixture of confusion and irritation. You just wanted him to be straight with you.

“I want another chance. I want to give us another shot because…I still love you.”

At that point, his admission pushes your tears off the brim.

“Please don’t cry. I don’t mean to make you sad. I just wanted to tell you the truth. I’ve been miserable without you.”

You waited so long to hear him say those words. For a while, you agonized at the thought, wondering if he actually ever loved you. If you were even someone worth choosing.

“Why tell me now after all this time has passed?”

“I couldn’t love you as the old me then. The old me who let you down and made half-ass promises. I had to get myself together.”

“Oh, so now you’re ready?” You ask sarcastically, swiping at your cheeks.

He stares at you earnestly. “Yes,” he says firmly. “It took me some time to realize that I was being stubborn. I thought that I didn’t need to change anything because I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. And it took me that whole time to really get what you were trying to say to me….what you asked me to do for you.”

You let out a chuckle. “Yoongi, I’ve had plenty of time to think about that, too and realized that I was being unreasonable back then.”

“Maybe. But…the more I thought about it, I realized that you were asking me for assurance and I refused give it to you…when I really should have.”

“Look, I shouldn’t have questioned the way you ran your business,” you demurred. “I crossed a line—“

“But that wasn’t it, though,” He insists. “In reality, there was no other logical reason as to why I kept a longstanding contract with Jiwon. I was trying to torture myself because I believed that I could totally look past that history and keep it strictly professional.”

Years ago, you would have pointed and laughed at him, and done a victory lap on your vindication.

“I was completely delusional back then and I needed time to figure the rest of my shit out.”

“And have you?” You ask him.

“Yeah, I have…and I found out that I still very much have trouble letting go of the past,” he concluded wryly.

You both chuckle at his honesty. Minutes ago, you had your hand on the ignition, ready to leave him…again.

“Yoongi…”

“I know, I know…I have the worst timing,” he says ironically.

It was the understatement of the century. When you walked out of your door earlier tonight, you had no idea that you’d run into Yoongi, much less receive a proposition from him.

You couldn’t argue against the fact that he hurt you badly last time. You wanted him to go after you when you walked out on him…But just the same, you had to work through your own issues, too. The time apart was necessary to do some growing.

Truth be told, you were perfectly fine at the start of the evening. You were having fun, taking trips down memory lane.

But there was always something about him. Something that no amount of time or distance would fully make you understand the hold that he had on you.

You had moved on from past lovers without incident. But you fell for Yoongi so deeply in the shortest amount of time. When it all ended, you wondered every now and then, whether the untapped potential of your relationship was what made that ache linger…or perhaps it was just him.

The tension is broken when your phone rings again. You glance at the screen and it was what-his-face’s name flashing.

You look up at Yoongi, whose face falters slightly but he relaxed his shoulders and stood up from his crouched position. He still bends down a little, leaning on the window frame.

“I know you have somewhere to be so…I guess I’ll just leave it at that. You can call me…or whatever. I just didn’t want to let this moment pass without getting that off my chest.”

You sighed heavily at the option he’s left you with. You glance at the missed call notification that flashed on your screen.

“Please get home safely, okay?” He taps his palm on the roof of your car softly and with a soft nod, he begins to walk back to the venue.

You were torn–torn by the sound of the unheard message alert that sat in your voice mailbox and Yoongi’s fading footfalls.

But deep down, you already knew what you wanted. Your mind and heart had already decided for you the second that you saw him from across the room this evening.

Now, all you had to do was propel your body to physically execute that decision.

You swipe at your phone screen to make the notification disappear then push your car door open.

“Yoongi, wait!”#

◤Part 1 | Main Fic Masterlist

You've reached the end, thank you for reading! If you loved it and/or curious to learn more, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn't like it so much, I would still like to hear about it💜

Tags: @internetjunkdrawer @itdoesntmatterwhy @yoongukie-ff @deepseavibez @miksancheese @shesoldbutcute @yu-justme @joonschocochip @starbtslove

#yoongi #performer: shina913 #p: m x reader #g: smut #g: angst #w: chapters #wc: 1-10k #r: 18+

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btscarnivalnet · 1 year

Text

Stalemate, Part 1 | MYG

Stalemate (Mini-series)

Pairing: Woodworker!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞; NSFW

Genre: breakup!AU; toxic relationships; angst; fluff; smut; heavy drama

Summary: "The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over."

Word count: 8.9K+ words

Warnings (more written in individual chapters): problematic exes; relationship insecurities; alcohol consumption; cussing; miscommunication; past infidelity (reader had an affair with a married man but not detailed); vulnerable confessions; protected sex; oral sex (F-receiving); breast/nipple play; dirty talk; jealousy; multiple orgasms; verbal confrontation; a terrible joke about wood 😑

A/N: Phew! What a way to break my month-long writing drought/limbo...jumping from one unfinished WIP to another. As I mentioned on the series masterlist, this is a nonlinear story so you'll see multiple time jumps. I tried to map out the timeline using "Now" and "Then" headings so I hope that helps!

I was also going to straight-shot this but Part 2 is still missing a couple of scenes so I hope to post that in the next day or two. Until then, here's some smangsty-angst!

Now…

Yoongi pushes the button of his key fob to lock his car then walks across the street toward an alleyway. Over a decade ago, this area, at this time of night was always questionable at best. But the neighborhood was changing and old warehouses like these were being converted into some tech start-up office, a pop-up restaurant, or sometimes, the occasional modern art gallery.

“Yoongi!”

His friend, Namjoon’s voice boomed through the loud chatter and house music. He rushes to greet him by the entrance with a hug.

“Hey, glad you could come out tonight!”

Yoongi scans the surroundings and nods in approval. He gasps, “Wow–this looks great, Joon!”

“Thanks, man. Do you like how we styled all of the light fixtures?”

Both men look up at the ceiling and marvel at the decor. “I think I might run out of adjectives tonight,” Yoongi laughs. “I love what you did with them. They look awesome!”

“Great to be friends with the supplier, huh?” Namjoon grinned, elbowing Yoongi playfully.

“Yeah, yeah,” Yoongi answers wryly. “Only for you, Namjoonah.”

“Listen, I’d love to hang out and chat but there’s a lot of people here tonight. Lots of people to rub shoulders with, you know?”

“Aish, go ahead, man–it’s your night. I’ll be fine,” Yoongi smiles.

“Alright well, there’s an open bar set up in the patio and we’ve got people walking around with finger-foods. Just help yourself and have fun, yeah?”

After Namjoon walks away, Yoongi starts to walk deeper into the building and sees doors leading to an outdoor area to where a makeshift bar is set up. While he waits for the bartender to bring him his drink, he turns around to admire his friend’s place once more.

It had been a while since Yoongi had gone out on a weekend–by choice. He mostly preferred to stay in and be a recluse or occupy his time by working.

“Sir, your drink?”

Yoongi turns back toward the bar to take his beer. “Thanks,” he nods at the bartender, then drops a dollar in the tip jar.

As he starts to turn and walk away, he pauses while his vision lands on one corner, next to one of the multiple mobile sculptures installed in the space.

He watched from a distance as you carefully gazed at the exhibit, trying to find some deeper meaning or metaphor that it was trying to convey. Once you were ready to move onto another section of the gallery, your breath catches–and your eyes lock.

Then...

“Dude, where the hell are you? I’ve been waiting for over an hour,” Yoongi grumbled while he stood in a quiet corner to make a call. He’d been at the bar waiting for his friend, Namjoon to show up. It’s been a stressful week for him at work and he wanted to unwind and have a few drinks.

“Sorry, Yoongi. I sort of…ran into someone and now we’re talking about heading to her place–”

“Her?” Yoongi repeated, “Wha–you already hooked up with some chick?”

“I mean, I don’t know how it will turn out yet, Yoongi,” he chuckled on the other line. “We’re just talking. But if you want, I can still meet you? It’s just going to take me a little while,” Namjoon sputtered.

Yoongi groaned, knowing full well that once Namjoon had been roped in, it would be like trying to pull him out of quicksand. “You know what bro–just…don’t worry about it,” he concedes.

“A-are you sure? I could still–”

“It’s cool, Namjoonie. We’ll link up next time. Have a good night.” He signs off as sincerely as possible before hanging up.

Yoongi huffed, downed the rest of his beer then trudged back over to the bar. He motions to the bartender, who moved closer so he could place another drink order.

“Can I get a scotch, three fingers, no ice?”

******

It’s nearly 10:30 at night and you and your friend, Hyejin were still feeling the club’s vibe. It was a long weekend and you were intent on making a casual hookup or two.

“Anyway…we decided that things weren’t working out,” Hyejin shrugs. “We’re good though.”

You eyed her suspiciously. “Oh sure,” you say sarcastically, “Is that why you’re still fucking him?”

She giggled, clearly not planning on denying it. “I mean, he’s a nice guy and we started out as fuck-buddies…” she trailed off.

You rolled your eyes. “You need to start setting better boundaries, girl,” you say before taking a sip of your drink.

She shrugged, “I’m just living life. You should try it sometime!”

After you snort at her comment, she nudges your arm, bobbing her head toward the bar’s direction. “He looks yummy,” she remarks. You turn your head and made a quick assessment of the lonely patron she was gesturing at.

To your surprise, he turns his head in your direction. You met his gaze for a brief moment before he hastily turned away.

“He’s hot but a little too broody-looking,” you say dismissively even though you felt a flutter in the pit of your belly.

“So? You know what they say about those quiet, broody types…” Hyejin leans into your ear and whispers, “They’re freaks in the sheets!”

Your eyebrows knitted comically at her. “Who the hell said that?”

She clicked her teeth. “Me, duh!” She threw her head back in laughter, the music drowning out her drunken cackles. “Go get him–or I will,” she threatens.

Just then, he glances in your direction once more. But he’s unnerved by you and Hyejin staring straight at him so he turns away and looks down at his phone screen instead.

“I think he looked at me,” Hyejin said.

“Shut up, he looked at me!”

“You said he was too broody–”

“That didn’t mean that I was disinterested,” you cocked a warning eyebrow at her..

She laughed. “Well, what are you waiting for?” She dared.

You started to back away from her and grinned. “Slow your roll, babe…I’m going!”

You turned away from her and walked up to your target, his shoulders hunched over while he scrolled through his phone and alternately took a sip of his drink.

You ordered yourself a cocktail even though you technically already had one that you conveniently left behind where you previously stood.

You parked yourself on the seat next to him, pretending to scroll through your own phone while you gather up the courage. You see him from your peripheral view sneaking more glances at you.

When the bartender brings you your drink, the hottie to your left speaks out.

“Put her drink on my tab.”

The bartender’s eyebrow quirked. He looked at you then back at him. He gave him a small smile, nodded in acknowledgment, and walked away. You took it as your cue to finally start a conversation.

“Thanks, that’s nice of you,” you said, swiveling your seat in his direction, crossing your leg over the other.

“You’re welcome.”

The bartender serves your drink. As you pick it up, you raised your glass toward him. “Geonbae.”

“Geonbae,” he says as he raised his glass to tap it against yours.

After you both take a sip, you ask him straight away, “Are you here with anybody?” You were not wasting any more precious time.

“Well, I was waiting for a friend but he ditched me so I’m on my own tonight.”

“Oh no,” you feigned regret. “I hope you don’t mind if I keep you company for a bit? It’s the least I can do to thank you for this drink.”

Your boldness made him smile. “I’m Yoongi.”

“Nice to meet you, Yoongi. I’m YN.” He reached out for a handshake but you gave him a hug instead. It takes him by surprise but it’s a welcome one.

******

“So, you build furniture?”

“Yep. I design them and I build them,” he explains while you scroll through his company’s social media page.

“By yourself?”

He laughed. “Sometimes, if I can’t find reliable help,” he remarks, his laugh growing louder. “I mean, I do the designs by myself but I usually have a team who helps me with the production and assembly. I have my own workshop.”

“Wow,” you marveled and continued to scroll through his feed. “Your work is really good–and unique!”

“Thank you. I work with a lot of local suppliers–small businesses as well, like mine. It’s a great community,” he explains. “And by the way, your work looks great, too,” he says while he scrolls through your own social media feed.

“Oh, gosh–most of my moodboards are from random Pinterest concepts,” you respond.

“Ehh…I think you’re being too modest.” He zeroes in on a recent contract–one that you were really proud of. It was for a local restaurant chain that used to have a bland color palette and aesthetic until they hired you to liven it up for their first location expansion. Three locations later, they’ve been one of your most lucrative clients.

“You have a great eye,” he says before handing your phone back to you. You smile at his compliment while you return his phone.

“If you think my work is good, we should get together sometime.”

His eyebrow quirks at your remark, but he holds back his response thinking you might have misspoken. You smile at him and after taking a sip of your drink you say, “You know, I’m always looking into connecting with new vendors to partner with.”

He chuckled. “You think we can be partners?”

“Why not? I see a lot of potential for us. I work in design and you are a potential supplier...what’s the worst that can happen?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Our visions might not line up,” he responds with a hint of doubt.

You shrug. “Ever heard of compromising?”

He chuckled softly. “My work tends to come off too old-fashioned to some. It takes a different kind of audience.”

“So? Sometimes all it takes is a dash of old-fashioned,” you smile, raising your glass containing the same drink.

“Really?”

You lift a shoulder. “You need a little bitterness to balance the sweetness out.” You giggle at the cheesiness of that line.

“Point taken,” he says with a gummy smile, holding back his laughter.

******

The last thing you remember was Yoongi asking if you wanted to go to his place or yours–before everything went dark.

Your eyes flicker up to the ceiling.

As you adjust to the brightness of the room, you instinctively reach over by the nightstand to retrieve your phone to check for the time. It was a quarter past 8AM…and you were home…alone, as it seems when your head whips around to see the other side empty.

What happened?

You slowly pad your way into your living room. Maybe he was just trying to be polite and crashed on the couch.

Except, he wasn’t.

Did he just drop you off and leave? You clutch at your throbbing forehead. I’m getting too old for this shit, you thought to yourself. Still, you were worried about what happened to Yoongi.

You pull his number from your phone–at least, you think that you have his number.

“Aha,” you gasped when you find his name in your contacts list.

You realized it might still be too early but you thought you could just give him a call and leave him a voicemail just to make sure that he got home safely.

You open up your blinds to let get some more daylight in the room. By some twisted way, you found that it helped with your hangover.

While the other line trills, something catches your eye when you look out the window.

“Oh shit–” you say under your breath.

******

You approach his car and unsure whether to knock or let him be. He looked exhausted but you couldn’t just leave him out here.

You tapped your knuckles against the window and he immediately flinched. He looks around, seemingly surprised at his surroundings until his eyes land on you.

You gesture to open his door. When he does, you ask him, “Good morning. Would you like to come in for some coffee?”

******

He declines at first but you managed to convince him to come in. After a few sips of coffee, he insisted on cooking you breakfast.

You hadn’t gone grocery shopping yet and didn’t have much in your fridge except for some eggs and cheese. You had a couple of slices of bread in the pantry so he makes the most out of it. He is appreciative of the effort and continues to tell you that you didn’t need to go out of your way.

“So, do you always make breakfast for girls you pick up from the club?” You joke.

“Not really,” he laughs. “I also don’t fall asleep in my car after I’ve dropped them off.”

“You know you were welcome to sleep on the bed or the couch,” you say casually. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“Nah, you were passed out and I didn’t want you to think that I was taking advantage of the situation or anything like that,” he reasons.

You smiled at how respectful and thoughtful he was. “I appreciate that. And…thank you for bringing me home.”

“You’re welcome.”

******

Days later...

“Bro, are you sure you can meet the deadline?”

Yoongi glanced at Namjoon, then scratched the back of his neck to think before he gave him an answer. He was a little bit stressed with this client because they were fussy about the design. It took at least a dozen iterations of the collection before they finally approved it.

The deadline was fast approaching and Yoongi was a bit behind. He’d have to pay his guys overtime and maybe even work on some of the pieces himself in the evenings to cover more ground.

“Tell them not to worry. Besides, when have I ever missed a delivery date for them?” Yoongi walks away and back into the workshop to check on how the other projects were progressing.

Namjoon nodded at Yoongi’s logic. No matter how stressful it got for him, Yoongi always managed to deliver the goods, and clients were satisfied each and every time. ”Alright, I’ll let them know.” He types a text to the client and sends Yoongi’s response.

After sending it off, he turns his attention back to Yoongi. “Hey, so–how’d you make out last weekend? Are we cool?”

The question seems to take Yoongi by surprise. “Huh? Why wouldn’t we be?”

Namjoon laughed. “Bro, this is me apologizing for abandoning you for a girl.”

“Oh.” Yoongi suddenly recalls the events leading up to how the night ended. “Uhm–nah, we’re cool. Besides, I did just fine,” he adds casually.

His friend’s mouth spread into a Cheshire cat grin. “Oof–you hooked up, didn’t you?”

Yoongi’s face scrunched in confusion. “Naaww…”

His laughter boomed from his chest. “Bro, I know you’re lying! Lemme see! Is she on social media?”

Yoongi clicked his teeth and groaned. “It wasn’t even like that.”

“So you did meet someone!”

He sighed, exasperated with his friend’s teasing. “Fine, I did. But nothing happened! We just hung out and I took her home.”

Unconvinced, Namjoon’s voice rose a few octaves. ”Whaaatt? Wait–so this the first girl you’ve hooked up with since–”

Yoongi waved his hand in mid-air to stop Namjoon from finishing his thought. “For the last time–she and I did not hook up,” he clarifies firmly. “We just had a nice conversation over a few drinks. Then I drove her back to her place…where I made her breakfast.”

Namjoon doubles over in laughter. “And you’re telling me that nothing happened?”

“Swear to god! After giving me her address, she fell asleep on the way there and I just carried her in. I slept in my car.”

“Wow…” Namjoon breathes out. “Look at you being all chivalrous!”

Yoong snorted at the comment.

“So–are you gonna see her again or what?”

Before he could answer, Namjoon’s phone buzzes with a text from the client. “She asked if you can squeeze in a prototype for barstools?”

“Aish,” Yoongi says under his breath. “I mean…that technically wasn’t even…” he stops short. Instead of arguing, he drags out a sigh and relents. “You know what, fine. Tell her I’ll include it and bill her later.”

Namjoon types up Yoongi’s response, to which the client replies almost instantaneously. “Is he absolutely sure?” He read the text out loud, a wry look on his face.

Yoongi looked up at his friend and let out a grunt of annoyance. “Just fucking tell her ‘yes’.”

Namjoon nods and sends the response again. “I don’t know why I need to be your middleman here–”

“Well, you brokered this deal. And from the jump, they preferred to communicate this way, so…” he trailed off. After ensuring some quality control on his employee’s work, Yoongi walks back into his living space and flops himself onto the sofa. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Namjoon walks toward his friend and sits on the adjacent seat. “Is that really all there is to it?” His voice had a hint of concern and worry for his friend.

Yoongi turned his head and opened one eye to look at him.

“It’s been over a year. She’s moved on–”

“Clearly,” Yoongi deadpanned before closing his eye again.

Namjoon shifted uncomfortably and scratched the back of his neck. “Well…aren’t you back in the dating scene? Can’t we all be grownups here?”

He let out a deep sigh, then opened his eyes again to dig his phone out of his back pocket. He didn’t think Namjoon’s question required an answer so he just scrolls through his screen.

Talking about his past relationship was a sore subject…even for Yoongi, whom his other friends thought to be typically aloof about these kinds of things. But sometimes, whatever one showed on the outside actually ran much deeper on the inside.

Shrugging, Namjoon takes Yoongi’s reticence as his cue to leave.

When the door shuts, Yoongi pauses his scrolling through his social media feed as his vision lands on a particular post. Damn algorithms got him again. He clicks on the account’s page and follows it.

Next, he types up a message and then hits ‘send.’

******

After work, you head over to a pub close to your office. You offered to meet Yoongi halfway from wherever he was coming from but said that he was happy to head over closer to where you were at.

He was already at the bar when you walked in, looking more relaxed than when you first saw him over the weekend. You weren’t much for guys with long hair but something about his hair being pulled back in a half-up/half-down bun became a contributing factor that held your attention.

You greet him with a hug, which he reciprocates. He asks what you want to drink. You glance at his whisky and decide to order an old-fashioned.

“You know, when you texted me this afternoon, I was a little surprised.”

“And why’s that?” He asks you.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if you thought our night ended kind of weird.” You sat on the stool next to him, your legs crossed in his direction while you turned your glass on the bar’s surface with your fingers.

He laughed. “I mean…I’ll admit, I’ve never had a night like that…ever, I think?” Your eyes drift to his fingers that danced over the rim of his glass of whisky.

“Is it because you always score?”

He caught his lower lip with his teeth and inhaled. “I’ll tell you right now, if my best friend were here, he’d already fallen off his chair laughing.”

His comment made your eyebrows lift in surprise. You both took sips of your drinks. After you swallow, you ask, “So! How many serious relationships have you had?”

He nearly chokes on his drink, laughing awkwardly. “Oh, we’re at that level of comfort now?”

You lifted a shoulder. “Seemed like the conversation was headed there anyway. Might as well get there sooner!”

He laughs, then pauses to consider his answer. “I’ve had one.”

“One? That’s it?” You were incredulous. You found him attractive–and not in a novel way. He spoke calmly and even sagely at times. A good conversation these days was rare and often overlooked or easily forgotten. But he was someone you enjoyed having a conversation with–and someone you hadn’t been able to get out of your mind in the last few days.

“Yeah. Just the one,” he replies.

“Wow…”

“Yep. We were going to get married and everything. But,” he let out a sharp breath, “She changed her mind.” He clicked her teeth, picking up his glass and swirled the liquid in it. “She broke it off the day before…told me she couldn’t go through with it.”

You watched him throw his head back and polish off the rest of his drink. Your heart hurts for him and you didn’t have a smartass joke to say to lighten the mood.

“Anyway!” He sighed deeply, desperate for a subject change. “That was a long time ago. It’s all done and over with. She’s off doing her own thing, I’m doing mine. What about you? How many serious relationships have you been in?”

“Nine.”

His eyes widened. “Nine? Those were all serious?” He asks carefully.

“Yes,” you say confidently. “Why is that hard for you to believe?”

He scoffed. “I mean…you don’t look that old and you’ve been in nine serious relationships?”

“What does my age have to do with it?” You laughed.

“Well…usually, relationships span years–”

“That’s what you think,” you countered. “You think that in order for a relationship to be considered serious is the amount of time you’ve been with that person. I mean, couldn’t it just be the depth of connection with that person?”

That stopped him in his tracks. He let that thought sink in, then nodded gently. Meanwhile, you’re watching his facial expressions–the wheels turning in his head.

“I can still feel you silently judging me,” you chuckle.

“I’m not,” he says simply. “I’m certainly in no place to judge. You’re an adult, free to make your own choices. Besides, we’ve only just met.”

You smiled. “Fair point.”

“Although…I’m curious, if you don’t mind me asking.”

You shook your head and prompted him to continue.

“Out of all of those relationships, which one was your worst heartbreak?”

“Damn!” You laughed. “And here you are questioning whether we’ve known each other long enough to discuss these things?”

You both laugh at the thought. When you calm down, he says, “Touché. I was just curious, that’s all. You don’t have to answer.”

“It’s fine, I’ll answer.” You downed the rest of your drink and turned your attention back to him. “The one that really did a number on me was my last relationship. We were together for about six months…” You paused to clear your throat, “until I found out that he was married.”

“Married? So you were someone’s mistress?”

“Unknowingly!” You contest. “Besides, I ended it as soon as I found out. I didn’t want to get tangled up in all that.” You winced at the memory. Not your finest moment but since then, you tried to be more vigilant about red flags.

“Well, like I said–it’s all in the past, right? The point is, we both got our hearts broken. End of story.”

You nodded in agreement before he switches gears. “Don’t you ever get scared?”

“Scared of what?”

“Repeating the whole process. You know, as someone who’s been in all of these relationships…don’t you ever get tired of starting from scratch every time? The whole getting to know each other, falling in love…then being faced with the possibility of things not working out.”

“I wonder about people who are afraid to put themselves out there again after getting hurt by love. I really don’t get that,” you say in jest.

He shrugs. “Who likes getting hurt? That’s not something rational people consciously wish for themselves.”

You sighed wistfully at the thought. “You know, I never understood why some people think of it that way. You know, trying to rationalize falling in love. Isn’t that counterintuitive? Love in itself is all about being spontaneous, irrational…reckless, even. The feeling of being completely wrapped up in the emotion and the moment–all because of one person. That includes all the fear, uncertainties…even the possibility of getting hurt. The experience of love isn’t complete without all that.”

He chuckled with his gummy grin. “Sounds like a huge gamble to me.”

“But if you never take that gamble, how will you ever experience the joy of winning big? How would you ever know what your heart is capable of taking if you’re always afraid of losing?”

He eyed you for a few seconds, letting your words sink in. “So you’re telling me that you’re willing to go through what could possibly be twice the amount of hurt–just to fall in love again?”

“Absolutely!” You declared. “I mean…you’re not thinking of hurting me, are you?” You ask him cheekily.

His eyebrow quirked in response. “Y-you’re asking me?” He chuckled.

“Calm down! It’s just a rhetorical question, Yoongi,” you giggled.

You both laugh it off. Afterward, he pursed his lips and eyed you again. “But just so we’re clear…I don’t plan on it.”

His answer made your heart skip. You didn’t have any smart-ass quips to lob back at him.

After what seems to be an eternity of staring at each other in tense silence, he asks, “Do you wanna get out of here?”

******

He showed you around his modest place, where he had a full and, judging by the fresh sawdust on the tables, actively functional workshop. It was attached to a one-bedroom living space with a kitchen, a cozy living room, and a full bathroom. But by your assessment, it looked more like the living space was attached to the workshop.

“You sleep where you work?” You ask while looking at the work surface next to you.

He notices you looking at it so he leans over to swipe the sawdust off the table. “I didn’t see the point of going back and forth between places.”

“Yeah but it must be hard to live where you work and work where you live?”

He chuckles. “On the contrary, it’s more convenient for me. When I’m tired, I just lay on the couch. If I have trouble sleeping, I just come over here and tinker with stuff.”

You eyed him silently as he stood over the table, his hands spread wide while he supported his weight on them.

“I don’t know if I can do that. I need clear boundaries.”

“Don’t you bring work home from time to time?”

You shrugged. “Sometimes, if I’m on a tight schedule. But I try not to do it if I can help it. I prefer the idea of drawing that line where, once I walk out that door, that’s it. I’ll come back to it in the morning. Once I’m off work, I’m off work.”

He hummed. “That’s fair.”

You carefully move a small container of wood stain to the side then hop up on the table. After giving his studio another once-over, you turn your attention to him.

“What are you currently working on?”

He seems hesitant at first but decides to share a little bit. “I’m…trying to create a prototype for this light fixture,” he says vaguely.

“Really? Can I see?”

He chuckles, then paused to check if you were actually serious about looking at his designs. When your expression remained unchanged, he decides to reach past you to pull his sketchbook toward him. He flips through a few pages until he lands on a specific one.

The page has a rough sketch of a multi-tiered looking chandelier with what looked like wooden fringes, instead of what would typically be glass or crystal.

“So, I’m trying to focus on more natural materials like rattan, bamboo…I don’t know, maybe my friend, Namjoon, has been hanging around my studio too much,” he says in jest.

Your fingers brush the pencil lines on the page. His ideas were beautiful. They were modern yet had an old-world feel to them. His pieces didn’t look like something that was mass-produced. Each one had its own personality but all of them were crafted with artisanal care.

“You think you could work with these?” He asks quietly, his face an inch away from you.

“Oh, definitely,” you smiled. “My mind’s already buzzing with ideas.”

He looks down from your eyes to your mouth…then back up to your eyes again. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you whisper then take in his scent. “You smell nice. What is that?”

“Uhm, I don’t know…pine?” He answers before you close the gap between you to kiss him. You taste faint traces of whisky and citrus flavors in his mouth. His lips were soft and melded into yours, making you sigh into him. His kiss was as calm and gentle as his usual demeanor.

He presses his body closer to yours, making you tilt backward on the work table. You gasp, startled at the feel of it on the side of your leg and instinctively hopped off the surface.

“Fuck…I’m so sorry,” he says.

“I-it’s okay,” you stammer, grabbing onto your dress.

“No, it’s not. I ruined your dress.”

“Yoongi, it’s okay,” you say nonchalantly. “I can take it to the cleaners…” You inspect the stain while he goes to grab a paper towel. Who were you kidding? This was varnish. The dress itself was cheap but it was beyond salvageable.

You looked up to see him hovering over you. “Or we could just take it off?”

With his breath fanning your face, you fist at his shirt and pull him into you again. This time, his lips didn’t feel tentative–they were more ardent…hungrier. He lifts you off the worktable and you both stagger out of the workshop and toward his living space. The closest comfortable surface was couch so he lowers you both there.

You reach back to lower the zipper of your dress while he pulls his shirt off. When he tosses it to the side, helps you undress the rest of the way through.

His fingers laced around the back of your neck urging you closer to him. He moved from your mouth down to your neck, gently sucking the skin on your collarbone.

You felt a gush of moisture soak through you…you let go of every ounce of control that you hung onto because were desperate for him now.

With one swift move, he unclasps your bra and moves his mouth to your chest while he lowered you further until your head hit the armrest.

Your breath hitches as he wraps his plush lips around an aching nipple. You swore right then that you’d orgasm from the feeling alone…but he was just getting started.

You reach between both of you and undo the button and zipper on his jeans, pushing them down.

He hooks his fingers onto your panties and you arch your back so he can slide them off. You were completely bare for him now, hypnotized by his desire for you at this moment.

You kept your eyes at him, unable to look away as pulls your legs apart and gave your inner thighs gentle kisses. He locked eyes with you and kept contact while you watched him sink his mouth onto your cleft.

You sucked in a harsh breath while he tongued you. You felt every lick and every suction of his mouth onto your moist, swollen lips.

Your walls clenched achingly at nothing while he continued to eat you out. Your breath began to stutter as you shamelessly bucked your hips against his mouth, desperate for a release.

You felt him dip two fingers into you…pulling them in and out lazily while his tongue fluttered over your clit.

Your body bowed when he alternated licking and sucking at your clit. It wasn’t long before your orgasm built up to a fever pitch. Your throat tightened, desperately trying to suck in air while your body tensed.

“Aaahh…gonna cum–fuck…”

You cried out hoarsely further as he got his last two licks in before you came down from your high. You were about to pass out from the pleasure when you saw him fish out a foil packet from his wallet.

You sat yourself up, meeting him halfway as he lined himself up between your thighs. You kissed him senselessly, your tongue fighting his for control.

Your mouth stilled as you felt him slowly enter you. You sucked in another breath while you felt that delicious stretch.

He urged you to lay back down while he pushed the rest of his length into you.

“Fuh…,�� was all you managed to breathe out while your eyes rolled to the back of your head as shivers coursed through your body.

You looked back at him, a pained look on his face from how tight you were for him. You gave him a small nod of assurance to let him know that you were okay.

He started to move his hips slowly until he found a consistent rhythm.

He lowered himself further against your body and wrapped your leg around his waist. He thrusted in and out of you at a steady pace while your core tightened further around him along with another orgasm building up.

“Fuck, YN…feel so good,” he choked out in between breaths. He sealed his mouth onto yours, moaning in pleasure.

Your nails raked his back–from his shoulders and down to his hips that relentlessly railed into you.

“Fuck, don’t stop…don’t stop…” you gasped as you felt yourself edge closer to another orgasm.

Your muscles clenched around his cock while he repeatedly hit you deep into your core. You buck your hips into him, meeting him at every thrust while you both moan into each other’s mouths.

The next thing you knew, he had tipped you over the edge again.

His palms cup your ass, raising your hips to him. A few more thrusts and he was arching his back, pressing his forehead to yours as his own climax coursed through him.

The next morning, you wake up to the smell of coffee, that he brought to you, bedside.

******

After that night, you spent many more going back and forth between his place and yours.

You went about both your days but talked all the time. You always made time to see each other–he’d work around your schedule and you’d work around his. Things were going so well and stress-free.

You didn’t feel the need to change the way you were around him and neither did he. Everything just came naturally to both of you.

Some days, you were unaware of how much time you spent together. Some weekends, you would just laze around and never leave the room. It was bliss.

“Jagiii!” You yell out from his bedroom, hoping he’d hear from the loud, grinding noise of his industrial sander.

He turns the machine off, flips his visor up, and pulls his earplugs out. “Yeah?” he bellowed from his workshop.

“Could I just have five minutes for a phone call?”

He gestures to his workshop assistant, telling him that he can take a break. “Alright, we’ll take five!” he says.

“You’re the best! Love you!”

“You owe me,” he teases.

“Just put in on my tab, jagiya,” you tease back.

******

Weeks later, you finally signed a lease for your new condo. Yoongi was on hand to help you move and get settled. You’d gone back and forth your old place to pick up smaller things that you didn’t load up in the big truck. The most important things were your larger furniture anyway.

Yoongi was tinkering with the internet connection in the second bedroom while you stood quietly in the midst of the expansive space, surrounded by boxes. It was getting dark out but you hadn’t installed your blinds yet so the moonlight illuminated the room. You stared out the window and into the glittering city lights.

“Why are you standing out here in the dark?” Yoongi flicks the light switch on.

“No, no–turn it back off.” He does so tentatively. “Is everything okay?” He approaches you carefully from behind, wrapping his arms around you. You lean your head back against him and sighed. “I’m perfectly fine, thank you. Just…trying to take it all in as everything calms down again.”

“Are you tired?” He nuzzled his nose into your hair.

“Mm-hmm,” you nod.

“Yeah, I can smell the dried sweat from your forehead,” he says before you poke him in his side, making him laugh out loud.

“I’m kidding,” he smiles, grabbing onto your waist and turning you around to face him. “Are you happy?”

“I am.” You plant a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you for helping me today.”

“Of course. Even if you didn’t ask me to, I still would have done it.”

“I know but this is a huge deal for me. After all these years of hard work, I’m finally upgrading my home.”

“That’s great. I’m very proud of you for doing that. And you know,” he glances past your shoulder and jerks his chin at your windows. “I can totally make you some custom blinds, too. None of that plastic, vinyl shit. I can use bamboo so it’s cooling but also great for insulation. Very sustainable, too.”

You giggled and kissed the tip of his nose. “Mmm…keep talking eco-friendly to me, Mr. Min…”

“Well…” he brushes his lips against yours, “If you like that, wait ‘til you hear about the reclaimed wood we’re using for this new commission.”

You threw your head back and moaned. “Ooh…yes…keep going.”

Chuckling, he dipped his head and leaves a trail of kisses down your exposed throat. “Why don’t we take this back in the bedroom and I can show you what else we can do with some wood.”

You start cackling at his comment and before you know it, he picks you up off your feet and you stumble into your room and stayed there until the sun came up.

Now…

In a panic, Yoongi heads to one corner of the gallery to search for his friend. “Namjoonah!”

Namjoon’s head whips around to see Yoongi headed for him. He excuses himself from the current conversation he was having. “Hey, Yoongi–”

Immediately, Yoongi pulls Namjoon right by the bathrooms to scold him. “Bro, that’s not cool. I wish you told me that YN was going to be here.”

“If I had told you, would you have come out tonight?”

Yoongi scoffed, “Of course, I still would have,” his voice went up a higher register, making Namjoon snicker. “I just…I wish you would have given me a warning so I could have been, I don’t know, better prepared!”

“Prepared for what? You guys have been broken up for years. Besides, you’ve always known that she and Hyejin are friends. You should have at least expected her to be here so I don’t know why you’re all bothered. Unless of course you not over her yet?”

Yoongi remains adamant. “Dude, of course, I’m over her! I just got caught off-guard, that’s all.”

“Are you sure you’re not still thinking about her?”

“Fuck no! Are you kidding? You know I can’t stand her! She’s too loud, a terrible cook…not to mention that she has way too much drama in her life.”

Namjoon snorted. “And you didn’t?”

Yoongi shakes his head dismissively. “Whatever, dude–I’m just not all about that. My new motto in life is to stay drama-free, you know?”

He gives Yoongi a skeptical smile. Just then, the bathroom door opens behind them.

The color from Yoongi’s face drains as he gets the shock of his life when he sees you emerge.

You stood there smirking while Namjoon and Yoongi exchanged looks.

“Uh, sorry, guys–I think I need to use the bathroom.” Namjoon says, stifling a laugh while he cuts in between you two and shuts the door.

Yoongi remained standing in awkward silence, trying to will the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“I thought you liked it when I was loud for you?” With that, you walk past him and disappear into the crowd.

Now…

“I can’t hear you, baby…come on…let me hear how good I make you feel.”

“Ahhh…f-fuck…” You cried out loudly, body stiffening, with your fingers grasping Yoongi’s hair at the roots while his tongue teases the last pulses of your orgasm.

“There you go…good girl.”

You and Yoongi were planning to have a quiet night in but Hyejin invites you out at the last minute, saying that you haven’t had a proper girls’ night in a while. Thinking about it now, it’s been over a month since you met up with her. Most of your nights were preoccupied with Yoongi these days.

When Yoongi couldn’t convince you to stay in, he asked if you needed a ride there and you decline, saying that Hyejin offered to pick you up.

When you stepped out of the room and he sees you in your outfit, a dark cloud overcomes him. He grabs you by the waist, lifts you onto the kitchen counter, and moving your panties aside, dives right in.

He helps you off the counter and you smooth your dress. You glance downwards and see the bulge in his pants.

“Hey, let me take care of that.” You reach out to cup him but he catches your hand and lifts it up to his lips to kiss it.

You’re suddenly torn between walking out the door and wanting to stay to suck him off…deep. The latter option sounded more appealing as you felt your mouth water at the thought of him fucking your mouth.

He pulls you in close and presses his hard-on against you. You let out a small whine of protest. His tongue grazed his lower lip before sinking his teeth into it.

He tutted. “Come home to me later and I’ll give you what you want.” His voice made it sound like a warning…a warning that you were tempted to ignore just to find out what he would do to you for ignoring it. The idea excited you so much that you felt heat pooling between your legs again.

“Are you sure? I still have a few minutes before I’m supposed to meet Hyejin,” you smile sweetly, your lips brushing against his jawline.

“I’m sure. Now go before I change my mind,” he says in jest.

“Okay,” you acquiesce.

Right before you walk away, he takes your mouth and kisses you hard. You couldn’t help but lick traces of your arousal from his lips.

When he pulls away, you are breathless and weak in the knees–more so after that orgasm that he gave you minutes ago.

******

You hadn’t noticed that Hyejin stopped mid-sentence to eye you as you giggled at your phone screen while you exchanged spicy texts with Yoongi. You finally look up and meet her gaze.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’,” she says in a mocking tone. “I’ve been blabbing up a storm here and you’re all heart-eyes, drooling over your phone there.” She tilts her chin up to get a look at your text screen and you immediately pull it close to your chest.

She scoffed then laughed. “Oh my gooood…you are so whipped for him!”

You roll your eyes at her. “I am not!”

She laughed even louder at your response. “Oh come on, YN! How long have we been friends? I can tell whether you’re just feeling a buzz between your legs or if you’re really into someone. And right now, I know that you are so down bad for him,” she declares.

You feel your cheeks ignite. It wasn’t because of the alcohol but because you knew she was right. You sighed in defeat. You’ve known each other long enough, seen each other through

“Okay, fine,” you relent. “So we’re a little obsessed with each other, big deal.” You started to gush over your relationship.

“I just love how much he cares. He checks in, asking whether I’ve eaten yet. He cooks for me…then, he tells me when he misses me. It’s nice. It feels nice to feel needed, you know?”

Hyejin nods. “Well, that’s all because you guys are still in that honeymoon phase!”

You scoff, dipping your fingers into your glass and flicking droplets of cold water at her. “Bitch! You’re so negative!”

She throws her head back in laughter. “I’m kidding, babe! You know me. Seriously, I’m happy for you. Now…” she cleared her throat. “Does he have a single hot friend that you know of?”

******

The following weekend, you convince Yoongi to come with you on a walking tour of a museum exhibiting gothic renaissance art. You were looking for some inspiration for your next project. You saw an ad online and decided it couldn't hurt to go exploring for a bit. It was also a nice excuse to pull him away from his workshop.

“Uhh…” Yoongi croaks tentatively. “I don’t know exactly what it is we’re looking at,” he laughs while cocking his head from one side to the other, trying to decipher the exhibit in front of you.

“Neither do I, jagi,” you giggled, glancing at the museum brochure. “I don’t know, I’m just trying to get some inspiration for this restaurant revamp. They currently have this old western theme…which is strange because they serve pizza and pasta.”

Yoongi laughs. “That concept doesn’t even make sense!”

“I know! But the owner’s daughter is a bit more modern and she’s totally up for a theme change.” You’ve talked to Yoongi about this new contract for weeks now and it’s finally happening. He was excited to bounce ideas off you to the point where you pulled him in as a supplier for the rebrand.

Even though the daughter was pushing for a more modern twist, her father, the restaurant’s current owner, wants to keep some traces of that classic feel to it.

“So, no saloon doors?” Yoongi says sarcastically.

You threw your head back in laughter. “Definitely not! The daughter would fire me. I was thinking we can bring in your natural concepts with that wooden fringe chandelier sketch that you were working on.”

His hand linked with yours, bringing it up to his lips to kiss it, making you grin like a lovestruck teenage girl. “Sounds good to me.”

You walk out of the museum and stood on the sidewalk, intending to walk a block over to a theater, not to see a show but to look at the architecture. The theater had a classic art deco design that would come in handy for your moodboard. You convinced Yoongi to make it part of your chill date before heading back to your place for dinner.

As you approach the end of the block, you are nearly run over by a man pushing a stroller that rounded the corner

“Hey, watch it,” Yoongi exclaims protectively.

“Oh, I’m sor–YN?”

You suck in a breath. “Hoshi, h-hi.”

“Hey! Wow…it’s been a while. Uh…h-how’ve you been?” Hoshi asks.

“Uhm…g-good,” you stammer. “You?” Then your eyes flick nervously over to the stroller that had a sleeping baby in it. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” he smiled. “Uh–so–”

“Yeobo!”

You whip your head around to see a woman come out of the restaurant that you were standing in front of. She walked towards Hoshi and the stroller.

“Hi,” she greets you and Yoongi, then turns to Hoshi waiting for him to introduce her.

“This is my wife, Naeyeon. Yeobo, this is YN. She’s an old friend.” She smiles at you then her eyes shift to Yoongi.

Somehow, your brain lurches forward. “This is Yoongi,” you say to both of them while you stood across from them. “My boyfriend.”

“So great to meet you both!” She says with a warm smile.

“Anyway, we should go before we miss our reservation, Nae. It’s good to see you again, YN,” Hoshi says in a hurry before he and his family walk around you and into the restaurant.

******

Since that awkward run-in with Hoshi, Yoongi has been uncharacteristically short with you for the rest of the day.

When you get back to your place, he sets the grocery bags on the kitchen counter. Afterward, he picks up the to-go bags that contained your dinner.

You watched him quietly lay out the containers on your dining table, along with the disposable utensils, setting place settings for you and him.

He sits down and his chopsticks apart. “We should eat before the food gets cold,” he says without looking up at you.

You wordlessly take the seat adjacent to him. He immediately puts a dumpling on your plate before he serves himself.

He pauses as if remembering something. He rose from his chair and moved toward the kitchen.

“Do you want a beer?”

“Just water is fine,” you answer blandly while staring at the lone dumpling on your plate.

He returns to the table, setting a glass of water next to you, and immediately takes a long swig of his drink after he sits back down.

He grabs so more food and puts it on his plate, pausing to offer you some but you decline. All this time, he still hasn’t made eye contact with you.

Unable to withstand it anymore, you push your plate aside to finally ask, “Something the matter?”

He doesn’t answer and instead continues to chew his food quietly.

You let out a frustrated sigh. “You’ve been acting weird all afternoon.”

He swallowed his food only to say, “Not now, YN.” He takes another bite.

You pursed your lips and gently press him again. “Look, if we have a problem here, we need to talk about it. We’re both adults here–”

“YN, I said, not now,” he says more sternly. Catching himself, he leans against the back of the chair, throwing his head back and rubbing his eyes. He regrets snapping at you. With a heavy sigh, he finally meets your gaze. “I’m sorry I…” he hesitates but finally gives into that nagging feeling in him. “Was that him?”

You give a small nod. “Yeah.”

“Fuck,” he says under his breath. “You should have introduced me as your boyfriend sooner!”

You scrunch your face in surprise. “Why does the timing even matter? The point was that I introduced you, right?”

His voice grew louder. “If you introduced me sooner, he'd take it as a sign not to make stupid small-talk or-or...even think about trying to start shit with you again!”

“Geez, Yoongi. Why would you even think like that? Clearly, the man was right there with his wife and kid. It was a short, very random run-in that will probably never happen again.” You maintained a calm tone.

“That’s what you think.”

“Excuse me?” You started to grow irate at how unreasonable he was starting to sound. “Yoongi–I’m with you, not him. I love you, not him. I don’t understand why we’re making a huge deal out of this!”

He stood there silently, his hands on his waist, nostrils flaring with every breath he took. The seconds tick by and before you try to reason with him, he huffs and walks into the bedroom, the door slamming.

*****

After you store the takeout containers in the fridge, you enter the bedroom to find him lying on the bed with his back toward you. He doesn’t turn to face you or say anything so instead, you shower and get changed. When you get under the covers, you turn on your side so you faced the opposite direction.

A few minutes of silence and staring at your nightstand, you hear him let out a deep sigh before speaking. “I’m sorry for acting the way I did earlier.”

His apology pinches your chest but you keep your back toward him. “You know, just because I hooked up with a married man before doesn’t mean that I’m itching to do it again. So I froze when I saw Hoshi, but that’s only because I hadn’t seen him since I broke it off and to add to that, his wife was right there. What did you expect me to do?”

“I know, I’m sorry. I got jealous and–I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking.”

It was then that you rolled over to face him.

“Look…I made a stupid mistake a while ago but as soon as I was aware of it, I walked away and I grew from that. I thought that my being completely honest with you from the very beginning was a way to build trust between us…and that I had nothing to hide. But…” Your voice started to waver, “If you’re only going to use that against me, then I don’t think–”

“No, no–” He engulfs you in his arms immediately. As the warmth emanating from his body coursed through you, you couldn’t help but cry into his chest.

“Aw, baby…I’m sorry. I love you. I won’t question that again. And I do appreciate your honesty.”

You lifted your head and tilted your chin up to him. “I love you, too, Yoongi.”

There was nothing you could do to change the past but as he rocked you to sleep, you wonder if it was a mistake that you had been open and honest with him from the beginning…or was it another careless mistake? Should you have put your best foot forward first and pretended to be perfect?

No…you hadn’t rolled like that in years. At your age, you learned that being open with your relationship expectations prevented less hurt if things went south. You’d already laid your cards on the table from the jump. And if either party decides that one of those was a dealbreaker, you moved on, no harm done.

You just hoped that Yoongi felt the same.

Tags: @internetjunkdrawer @itdoesntmatterwhy @yoongukie-ff @deepseavibez @miksancheese @shesoldbutcute @yu-justme @joonschocochip

Part 2 (coming soon) | Main Fic Masterlist

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#yoongi #performer: shina913 #p: m x reader #g: smut #g: angst #w: chapters #wc: 1-10k #r: 18+

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