bombasticpoetry

[bombasticpoetry]

If you really find it daunting clap your hands

If you really find it daunting clap your hands

If you really find it daunting

And find those who did it taunting

If you really find it daunting

clap your hands

Clap if you find it daunting

[bombasticpoetry]

I do not like them, Sam-I-am

There should be no alarms at 4 ayam

I don't care if it's fire

Or falling rocks

Or a roaring, rampaging griddlubox

I do not like them, Sam-I-am

So no more, I don't give a damn

[bombasticpoetry]

I've met a million people

And done so many bad

But I have no skill for sinning

Like those that make these fucking ads

#poetry #ads #abcb

[bombasticpoetry]

He wrote his number on my arm

Which I thought was dandy

But I don't think I'm quite so brave

As to dial 1-800-HNDY

#poety #abcb #illustrated-ish #I'm still salty about the sun guys hands #so this one is just the best hand I can muster #:( I know

[bombasticpoetry]

All my life I've been told being tall's a boon

But now I'm grown I must admit it burns a bit at noon

#poetry #picture removed after my feelings on it soured

[bombasticpoetry]

I saw some unicorns frolicking 'neath the Joshua Tree

I stopped and took some time to wonder why they're always three

when they stopped their dance and turned to look at me

"When one of you is Chained the other will be free"

I knew just what to do when I came home for the night

I sat waiting for my brother without nary a light

He did not 'spect my coming, hardly put up a fight

I hope that oxen chains will not be too light

Was not until the morning that I thought to kill his wife

If she were to speak there'd be no end to my strife

I stuck her in the neck with her son's new pocket knife

He did not stand in awe at the slipping of her life

He bolted from the house without a second's tarry

I knew just what to do to meet the words of the fairy

I loaded up my rifle with tone and manner merry

"I hope you're faster than a bullet, beloved nephew Larry!"

My first shot found the ground - my second found the tree

I knew would not be long for the village came for me

loaded up on horses with guns and hate and glee

I knew it would not be my brother chained so that I'd be free

#poem #poetry #my mom gave me a dip pen and I had to test it out

[bombasticpoetry]

Tim was a little squizzard

Back in the Cambrian era

To be clear that's a squid who's a wizard

And they called them plectronocera

Tim he was a funny squid

He was obsessed with gold

It was because what he did

Many would not grow old

He waved his funny wand

Above a bubbling pot

But he did not linger long

Upon the instructions he'd got

He said "blubbleblubbleshim!"

And out came a lovely gass

Though it chocked and burned him

The time to stop had passed

The new gass ate all the air

And chocked all of his friend

He wanted to leave a wealthy heir

Who never was in the end

#poetry #abab

[bombasticpoetry]

I always thought the thee carpenter was a decent sot

Making things of wood and removing rot

But my friend has known him since he was a tot

And all they wood tell me is that they know he's knot

#pinnochio the carpenter #poetry

[bombasticpoetry]

There was pandemonium in the courtroom

on that fifth spring day

as they accused the Gator

of stealing from the bay

The Monkey took the defense

The Eel prosecution

They all knew he was aiming

for Gators electrocution

"He bought his fishing license

which allocated him his share

but if sharing is to caring

he clearly doesn't care!!!

This is our food!

Our livelihoods at stake!

If you won't convict him

there's no reason he shouldn't take!!!

It was then that Monkey stood

to speak in Gators defense

his client held his breath

For this Beacon of calm and sense

"Now we know our friend Gator

is a kind and thoughtful being

The sight of him sunbathing

is one we're used to seeing

I don't see why he'd over fish

and leave his lovely hammock

No offense to our friend gator

but he's not a known dynamic

and not to make too fine a point

but proof is not our burden

The prosecution has not accounted

for the alibi from trusty verdin"

It was then from Rage

and lack of knowing

From young Eels lips

old hate made a showing

"I don't need no proof! He's a gator!

And we will know what they're all like

he's less an animal

and more walking appetite"

Then came a terrible sight

to the defense's dismay

The jury all were nodding

All his friends from around the bay

There were no closing arguments

There was nothing left to be said

but Gator had a feeling

they were not voting with their heads

It was then before hopeless eyes

that Pelican burst on in

His hat was old and dripping

Soaking the floor to the trim

"Howdy, folks!

I hope I'm not interrupting"

Pelican tipped his hat

"but I've got to stop injustice from erupting!"

"Now I know what you're all thinking

'wasn't he on a trip'

but for your fishing problem

I've got just the tip!

when I came on back

I knew there was something I forgot to do

and now I hear ya'll're trying Gator

When my fishing license need renewed!"

The defense was dumbstruck

Eel was oozing Fury

In had burst a star witness

and toppled a tilted jury

after Pelican had paid his fees

He had gator over for his trouble

and let him know if those like Eel came back

then their troubles would be doubled

That day was a harsh reminder

of how their "friends" could be.

But friends who kept Them friendly?

Now those are friends indeed

#poetry #abcb #cw fantastic racism

[bombasticpoetry]

My mom got cucked by a woodchuck

who was sleeping with my dad

so now I've met a brother

I did not know I had

He's not much for conversation

He does not play my games

and our moms may be fighting

but I love him all the same

He likes to go out hiking

and he often carves in wood

I taught him some card games

He's actually quite good

We're so far apart

in biology and name

you wouldn't know from looking

but he's my brother all the same

#poetry #abcb #cw cucking

[bombasticpoetry]

Though our savior has freed us

I don't think he'll ever please us

We must hope he never sees us

For without a doubt he'll seize us

and it won't be to laugh and tease us

We all prey for Raptor Jesus

#poetry #singular rhyme #loose meter

[bombasticpoetry]

You could write a thousand lines of his eyes

And I would find too much they lack

It's not there that lies the things I prize

We must descend to walk the righteous track

Though his arms make me bubble up with glee

I only sing their worship in passing

Though for others muscles make them feel free

My fascination has always been passing

His hips don't lie as they direct me down

And I always find the trip delightful

As he blows my back out from funky town

I consider that this might be frightful

Though most find that these things all do the trick

Nothing can beat the knees I suck and lick

#poetry #sonnet #cw sex mention #cw knee kink #knee kink for comedy purposes #edit: altered line to remove passing passing rhyme

[bombasticpoetry]

I think this man has hairy legs

I hope the French don't serve this one

Even if it's served with eggs

I don't think it'll be much fun

Even if they denied it

And called them thighs of nymphs

Even if they fried it

And catered it to simps

Even if they had divine sauce

And included it for free

I think I might be at a loss

On how to tell them it's not for me

been going through a coloring crisis the past few days. felt like this was a LEAP in the right direction, finally!!

#poetry #frogust #tumblr poetry #art poetry #the nymph thighs things are a real thing #isn't learning grand?

[bombasticpoetry]

I want to write an ode to that booty

That's got me feeling shooty

A symphony for that smile

That they'll know from miles and miles

He says he's bringing country back

And so I think that he knows

My heart feels at attack

And the strike came from below

Bringing country back 😌

#aabbcdcd #I should write more #tumblr poetry #it's dumb but fun #poetry

[bombasticpoetry]

acab rhyming scheme

A

B C

A

B

They say all cops are bastard

They collude with them for sure

I think I'd like to leave a fat turd

Some place they can't elude

#poetry #acab #experimental

[bombasticpoetry]

He was fighting with the nuts

And crowing about who'd have him

He thought he'd finally give his putz

To the one above his drink's rim

He knew he found a winner

when she beckoned with a finger

He was dealing with a sinner

So he knew better than to linger

So he followed to her van

Where Ms. Kinky grabbed a stick

He did not expect a scam

Untill she gave the thing a flick

She tossed him in a box

And closed the lid down tight-

-er than his legs could nock

off as they drove throughout the night

Now this was just his luck

Tossed in the rotting mud

and him without a truck

His life really was a dud

There were no babes here

No boozy things to drink

Only mating calls and leers

and food that barely thinks...

He splashed and croaked and leapt

straight into the cool damp earth

He owed that old bitch a debt

This was what he'd craves since birth

He never left the fen again

And never crossed the roads

Some people make terrible men,

and some of them make spectacular toads

#poetry #abab #witch #toad

[bombasticpoetry]

If we wish to seek

Mrs. Low

We must sneak

Down below

Past armored guards,

Her son, Ling,

Sycophants,

Drooling things.

If we get

To her door

We can ask

What we came for

"What we had,

You did take,

Was it your plan

To our hearts break?"

"You understand

All ALL make

It is the job

Of death to take.

From your love

And your duty

Both the humble

And the snooty.

Though I hope

You do not

Come to think

You're for naught.

Here bees don't sting,

Flowers don't wilt,

The air is clean,

The earth a quilt,

But first you must

Love, grow, change!

For the dead

Don't have the range."

Then she'll give

Coco and love

Before we're sent

To the world above

I do hope

When we return

We'll share stories

Of a life well learned

#poety #journey to the underworld #loose ish meter #abcb ish rhyme