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aurum-rays · 1 month

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I'm obsessed with stationery. I love buying different kinds of pens, notepads, cute and colorful erasers (although I'll never use them), sticky notes, and cute little notebooks that I do not have the heart to write in and will lay empty-paged on the shelves for years. I love spending time in stationery shops and grocery stores too. It's therapeutic. I read that most people feel this way because of - one, a colorful environment and two, control over decision making. I don't know how much of it is true, but yeah, I can agree that I love the colors and I love that I can splurge on stuff without usually feeling guilty about it because stationery is cheap and it elevates my mood.

There's just something about neatly stacked shelves filled with books, crayons, craft papers, and those rotating display stands with all the DIY materials that make you want to stay in the store as long as you like. There are different sizes of books, some of them too adorable, colorful sparkly tapes, and interestingly designed bookmarks. And oh, the stickers! I could go on and on about all the mouth-watering (for lack of a better word) and tantalizing displays of all the good things my heart desires, all in a single place.

New stationery can inspire the revival of old hobbies. I find it difficult to pick up a pencil and sketch when I spend all my time in front of the computer. Sometimes, a new marker set compels me (in a good way) to doodle and reminds me how much I love to sketch. Occasionally, a new pen I've never used before entices me to buy it for a trial. Those Sakura Micron pens or those brush pens you can fill with water always catch my attention. I always look forward to discovering things I've never used before because, most of the time, they reignite old habits I've abandoned.

I like to take my time walking in the aisles of the stores like I am taking a walk in the Park. It is in fact like taking a walk at the Park. It's soothing, calm, and satisfying. But my slow pace confuses the store employees and they rush to assist me thinking I might need help. I am too awkward to tell them I'm fine so I just tell them I'm looking for “this thing”. Most times I'm not even “looking for” anything. I'm just taking in the scent of pens and erasers and fresh new papers, enjoying my music and feasting my eyes in the aisles. This employee engagement often cuts my time short at the stores. I immediately have the urge to bill the things and leave the place because I “found” what I needed. So, I do. I leave the store and enter another one.

Like a rabbit, I hop from one store to another hypnotized by the colorful carrots and cabbages. And when I get home from all the dopamine I've feasted on, I place all the things I bought on the bed jump on it, and wave my arms and legs like I'm making snow angels. Just kidding. I don't do that. (Anymore) Now I get ready to rearrange and make space on the shelves for my new buddies and eagerly wait for my next trip to the wonderland.

P.S: never would've imagined these pictures I took 7 years ago would be used in my Tumblr blog today. Just shows how obsessed I was with stationery.

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aurum-rays · 2 months

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When you rewatch most childhood movies, the cult classics, the nostalgia rides, I realize how sexist and problematic they were and I was secretly hoping Veer Zaara wasn't one of them(I watched it when I was like 10 so I don't remember). This movie surprised me.

Veer Zaara features strong, resilient female characters. Be it our protagonist Zaara played by Preity Zinta or the catalysts of the love story Saamiya (Rani Mukherjee) and Shabbo (Divya Dutta) or even Zaara’s mother (Kirron Kher) and her Bebe (Zohra Sehgal).

Zaara Hayaat Khan is a feminist, one who is against the societal norms laid for a woman. It's refreshing to see this in her introductory song "Hum to bhai jese hai wese rahengey" sung beautifully by Lata ji, but as this 3 hour musical drama progresses it gets disappointing to see Zaara whittle herself away to the same norms she was against in the first place.

Everyone around her constantly tells her it's her responsibility to be a good wife and a good mother and to guard the respect of their families. Zaara crosses the border to fulfill a final wish of her ‘BeBe’(grandmother) all by herself.

In the midst of a rescue operation, she demands her things be lifted off along with her all while hanging on to an Air Force professional in his uniform.

She pushes the crowded men away and speaks with authority "I have a ticket and I need to get on this bus". In all these instances Zaara is scared yet heroic. She phones her mother and tells her that all her life she didn't do anything and probably won't in the future too and will probably end up being just like her mother - a good wife and a good mother, so she wants to do this one thing so she can respect herself. This is what irked me. I understand she's from an orthodox family but she can still have dreams and ambitions. From the start of the movie, she is portrayed as a rebel, one who doesn't comply with societal norms and laughs in the face of stereotypes. I can only imagine how curious she would have been as a child. That alone is enough to give her some dreams.

She fearlessly tells Amitabh's character what he is doing is unfair to the girls. If I went to someone’s house for a day especially someone I barely knew I wouldn't even dare to question their acts. Zaara does and she makes him spellbound. She doesn't go “I'm just here for one day so I’ll just mind my own business and leave”. She questions the injustice. "Imagine what girls could do if they were given the right education. Some of them might even surpass Veer".

I loved Zaara in all these scenes. She fearlessly stands up against mistreatment and calls them out no matter who the other person is. All this makes you root for her until it doesn't.

In a scene where Saamiya visits Veer's (Shahrukh Khan) hometown and finds Zaara there, she says to Shabbo "Yeh kis sadi ke log hai… ?" (transl. “Which century are these people from?”)

That's exactly how I felt too. “Kon hai ye log? Kahan se aate hai?”( transl. Who are these people? Where do they come from?) Spending their whole lives in the name of the person they never got to be with. Sacrificing everything and working to fulfill someone else’s dream. Zaara has always been that kind of person. She crosses borders to fulfill her bebe's wish and gives all her life to fulfill Veer and his Tau’s wish. She keeps doing everything for others. She spends her life making others’ dreams come true. She lives her life in the memory of her lover. This also reminded me of Sita aka Princess Noor Jahan from Sitaramam (also maybe Madarasipattinam's Amy).

If Saamiya saw these women she'd again say "Kon hai ye log?"

Even after decades of releasing love stories on-screen this "sacrificing" trope hasn't changed and remains to be a classic which I am not a big fan of. Why do these characters not have any characterization of their own? (Zaara) even if they do, it all changes when a man comes into her life (Sita/Noor Jahan). Ultimately the heroin has to either die or spend her whole life in the memory of her Romeo. (Remember what Mr. Dashwood says to Jo in 2019’s Little Women?)

Maybe I don't understand love stories. Maybe I don't understand love? I don't know. But I think in real life none of us are that insane to write our whole life in someone else’s name and live and breathe just reminiscing our lost lovers, at least I am not. Maybe that is why these movies will remain classics because they are too insane to happen in real life.

#veer zaara #sharukh khan #preity zinta #rani mukherjee #hema malini #amitabh bachchan #sita ramam #mrunal thakur #amy jackson

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aurum-rays · 2 months

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"The heart wants what it wants"

how ironic is this saying? The heart as an organ has nothing to do with emotions when it's the brain, to be precise the amygdala that controls emotions. So should it be the amygdala wants what it wants?

#i should go to bed #the heart wants what it wants #This is a modern fairytale

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aurum-rays · 2 months

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Movies that are like a warm blanket on a rainy day.

Some of my fav frames from 'The Half Of It'. Perfect movie-Perfect score-Perfect comedy.

One of those movies that I can watch a thousand times and still never get enough of it. 🍁🚲📖🌮🚂🚦

#the half of it #alice wu #leah lewis #alexxis lemire #Daniel diemer #wolfgang novogratz #Collin chou #tumblr movies #comfort movies #Movies that feel like warm hug #movie frames #color grading #Movies i can watch every day

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aurum-rays · 2 months

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Twenty one pilots - Red tapes

Revisiting the lore to prep myself for what's coming made me realize I need a book. I need the twenty one pilots lore to be a book with the album names as chapters and from Clancy's pov. The whole story of Dema is nothing short of a cinematic saga and I need it as a book.

#twenty one pilots #Dema #the bandito tour #scaled and icy #blurryface #vessel #Clancy #Nico and the niners #red tape #Yellow tape #Ned #Keons #Bishops #Trench #skeleton clique

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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If you want to be a grocer, or a general, or a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment. If you never know what you want to be, if you live what some might call the dynamic life — but what I will call the artistic life — if each day you are unsure of who you are and what you know you will never become anything, and that is your reward.

Oscar Wilde

#oscar wilde #quotes to live by #relatable #tumblr quotes #oscar wilde quotes

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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Frances Ha 🩰

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#frances ha #greta gerwig #noah baumbach #black and white #Life at 27 #women #women life freedom #dancer #Art #Instagram

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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Everytime I watch Mean Girls it becomes more and more evident that Janis is basically Regina dressed in goth.

#mean girls #regina george #rachel mcadams #mean girls movie #mean girls meme #regina george mean girls #janis mean girls #so fetch #on wednesdays we wear pink #burn book

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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Those who can, do. Those who can't, hire people to do it for them.

#Oh what a profound genius #quotes to live by

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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The color grading of this movie is how my life should be 🌑♥️❤️‍🔥

#the crow 1994 #brandon lee #it cant rain all the time #the crow movie #eric draven

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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Cautious

Conscious

Conscience

Conscientious

Consciousness

Nothing. Just me fighting the pronunciation lord.

#words words words #My tongue is tired #That didn't sound right #🫠

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.

— J.D. Salinger. (via. luciferifilia)

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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Bangs and me!

My toxic trait is thinking I can pull this look.

Tale as old as time. Let's talk about my obsession with bangs and how I think I would look like Alex Russo if I had them. Well, delulu is the solulu.

Guhh, what is it about bangs or fringes or whatever? Every time I think I'll grow them out, I end up cutting them again. The Hannah Montana bangs, the classic Zooey Deschanel bangs, the Alex Russo bangs, the Hermione Granger fringe - every time I look at any one of these or anyone with a cute fringe on their forehead, I say to myself, "Maybe I should get bangs. Again. Maybe they won't look as bad as they did the last time. Maybe I will end up looking like Moaning Myrtle." Again. I know I'll regret it. And then I do end up getting bangs. Again. And then I do end up looking like Moaning Myrtle. Again. It's a never-ending cycle, and I don't think I'm stopping anytime soon.

Let's not even talk about the growing phase. The phase when your bangs are too short to tuck behind your ear and too long to call it a fringe. When we have to resort to our trusty tik tik hair clips to set them in place and not irritate your nose. *aaakchoo*

And then comes the saga of styling it. I've always been skeptical about using heat on my hair, so you can only imagine my plight of styling my bangs or even just my hair in all "natural ways". Overnight curls with socks-check, Sydney Sweeny Euphoria curls - check, and my hair ends up looking like ramen noodles and my bangs are hugging my forehead, sticky and flat.

I've had my Moaning Myrtle phase, the wispy bangs phase, and do you remember that one episode from Mr. Bean where he gives a kid a haircut with a bowl? Yeah, I've been that kid too! But do I learn from any of this? I don't! Nope. Not a chance..

And every time I see someone rock their bangs my hands reach for the scissors. It's a vicious cycle and this bitch ain't learning. So God help me and those who have to suffer the wrath of my mental breakdowns.

#hairstyle #fringe #Bangs #rachel mcadams #zoey deschanel #harmione #alex russo #gillian owens #nicole kidman #selena edits #emma watson #red hair #haircut #about time #zooey deschanel

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aurum-rays · 3 months

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They’d say, “He changed the world with his music,” but did I? Can music truly change the world? Because we sing songs of protest and we sing songs of defiance, but as far as I can see, the same shit keeps happening.