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ardentlyjae · 1 year
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All I Want - Epilogue One
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Pairing: Taehyung/Reader
Genre: Not sure, drama?
Rating: T
Word Count: 2,325
Summary: Taehyung is finally ready to speak with you.
Part One
Taehyung leaned back against the couch and looked up. They were sitting in a small cafe in Paris enjoying a small cup of espresso each. He had his film camera that he took the last time he was home. He was waiting to find something he would like to take a picture of if the inspiration struck him. So, far he had been unsuccessful. As a result, his patience was wearing a bit thin. He turned to the woman next to him and let out a small sigh.
"How long has it been since we met?" He asked, turning back around to look at all the busy Parisians walking to their next destination. Still, no one interesting enough to take a photo of.
Jisoo chuckled. She didn’t seem to be having the same struggle as he did, her sketchbook currently showing a landscape she was in the process of drawing. "It's been a few years. Maybe two or three."
Taehyung let out a little smirk. "Do you think maybe it's time that we face our demons and go home?" It’s a question he’s had on his mind for a while, he was just trying to find the right time to bring it up to her.
The smile on Jisoo's face disappeared almost instantly. Her brows furrowing in confusion as she hesitated. Taehyung almost felt a pang of guilt, but it had been almost 5 years since the last time he spoke to you and lately he had been wondering if it was time for the two of you to have a long overdue conversation. His agreement with Jisoo had always been that they would travel together until they felt ready to face what they were running from, and Taehyung was thinking that maybe it was time for him.
Of course, Jimin kept him updated on your life, even when he didn't ask. He knew you had somehow made your way back to Jungkook and although at first there was a sting, he had now come to terms with it. He missed you, he missed your friendship, and he missed the way the two of you understood each other before everything happened. Jimin was his best friend but he was no replacement for you. There was no way that you could erase nearly twenty years of friendship between the two of you that easily.
"I've just been thinking," Taehyung began. "I've been talking to Jimin and I miss her, you know?"
"Taehyung," Jisoo lightly admonished. "I thought you said you were letting go of your feelings for her."
"And I am! I have. I just think it's been long enough and I feel like I am in a place where I know I can face her and not have my heart break. I just want to talk to her again," Taehyung explained. "There's no ulterior motive here to try to win her back if that's what you're thinking."
"Are you sure? You were a complete mess back then." Jisoo asked. She knew all about the history between the two of you. Taehyung had told her a few months into their travels together, after a particularly rough night where he had had a few too many shots of vodka and was crying in the lounge of the hotel they were staying in.
"I know I was. If it helps, she's back together with him. But surprisingly I'm fine with it, and I think I want to have her back in my life as my friend."
Jisoo let out a big sigh and didn't speak any further. Taehyung knew that meant she didn't quite agree with him but would not stop him from what he was about to do. It likely meant that she thought he was being an idiot, but it did not deter Taehyung in the slightest.
He was grateful to Jisoo if he was being honest. They were two broken people that slowly helped put each other back together. Jimin always thought that they would get into a relationship eventually, but Taehyung knew it would never happen. Jisoo was still broken, and she had always reiterated that she likely would never want to be in a relationship with anyone ever again. He finally, truly, knew what a platonic friendship with another woman was like and now he knew that he was absolutely capable of maintaining one with you, if you would allow him to do so.
**
"Hey Y/N?" Jimin said, his voice showing a hint of hesitation.
You were instantly concerned, your brows furrowing as you turned to your best friend. "Yes Jimin?"
"Taehyung is coming back home next week," Jimin said, casually taking a sip of his coffee. The look he was throwing over the rim of the mug meant he had a bit more to tell you.
You furrowed your brows. He never told you when Taehyung was returning these days.
"Okay...and what does that have to do with me? Should I stay away from home next week?"
"Actually, he asked me if I could find out something for him," Jimin explained. "He wants to know if you would be willing to meet up with him sometime. I think he's back home for good."
You were sure you froze hearing the unexpected news. "Are you sure you didn't mishear?"
"No he asked me and I quote, 'I've been thinking and I just know it's been too long since I spoke to Y/N and if she was willing I would like the chance to speak with her'" Jimin quoted, putting on his best Taehyung impression.
It almost sounded too good to be true. You weren't really sure if this day would ever come. But this also wasn't a decision that you could make on your own anymore. There was Jungkook and your relationship that you had to take into account. It had been a conversation the two of you had previously had, where the two of you agreed to discuss anything that may impact the two of you together before making any decisions.
"Jim, I'll think about it," you say slowly. "I need to talk about it with Jungkook before anything else."
"Understood. Just let me know soon, yeah?" Jimin responded, a soft smile on his face. He was clearly hoping that you two would agree to meet.
It was an odd feeling. Though you were always unsure if this day would come, it felt weird to know it was here. You'd moved on and you hoped that Taehyung had moved on as well. You spent the last five years working on yourself, knowing that there were some serious character flaws that needed to be addressed. One of the things you needed to work on was how honest you were with yourself and with other people. It put you in uncomfortable positions at times and it led you to many almost completely unbearable conversations with Jimin, Jungkook and even Jin, but it was something that you believed was fully worth it, because things in your life were good.
You were happy.
Your relationship with Jungkook was in a place you never really expected it to be. It was better than you ever could have imagined, but it took a lot of work to get there and a lot of convincing from Jungkook. There were many difficulties to get it to where you had it and a lot of trust needed to be rebuilt, but somehow you did it. Jungkook was worth it all. He always was.
After that initial meeting at the coffee shop you worked at, you began seeing Jungkook more and more frequently. You had gone almost two years without ever seeing him on campus but suddenly he was in the library by your favorite spot, or studying at your job, or even at the same campus events you would attend. You knew it was happening on purpose but you played dumb. It seemed like Jungkook had forgiven you but you hadn't forgiven yourself yet, and as long as that remained you didn't allow yourself to even consider a relationship with him.
Eventually, you managed to find a place where you could be at peace with yourself mentally and you accepted when Jungkook asked you on yet another date. You would never forget the look on his face when you accepted, as he was so used to getting rejected by that point.
The two of you always handled any potential issues together, the communication always remained consistent. He never worried about you and you never gave him a reason to and he did the same. It wasn't that you needed Jungkook's permission to talk to Taehyung, it was that this was a potential sore spot for him and Jungkook's feelings and maintaining his trust were your first priority in this situation. After speaking with him, he readily agreed and you packed a small bag for the weekend and left for home with Jimin.
You arrived a day after Taehyung arrived home. Jimin explained to you that Taehyung had been in Paris when he decided to come back, and he'd let you know where to meet Taehyung as soon as he discussed it with him, still acting as the middleman between the two of you.
The next day you found yourself waiting at the same park where you first met Taehyung. Sitting at one of the benches, you picked at your cuticles. Your nerves were a mess.
Eventually, you saw a pair of black doc martens walk up to you and you looked up to see a man with a smile that almost matched the brightness of the sun, his eyes smiling along with him.
"Hey Y/N, it's been a while." He said, opening his arms wide as if asking for a hug.
You hesitated, looking up at him as he stood in front of you. "Hey Taehyung."
When Taehyung realized you weren't going to stand up to hug him, he put his arms down and moved to take the empty seat beside you. You couldn’t read his expression, he didn’t show much on his face anymore it seemed. You weren’t quite sure how that made you feel either.
"How have you been?" He asked, turning to look at you.
"I'm...actually doing pretty good," you say, thinking about everything you left at your new home.  "How about you?"
"I've been good, great actually," he says, stretching his legs out in front of him. "I've actually been doing a lot of photography."
You nod, unsure of what to say next. Silence falls over the two of you in a way that you are not used to. Conversations with Taehyung never used to be this awkward. But this is a new Taehyung you’re speaking to, and you are also a new version of yourself.
Eventually you speak again, "How was Paris?"
"Good actually. The city is beautiful at night and the food was some of the best I've ever eaten," he casually says.  "How's being a doctor?"
"Not a doctor yet," you sigh, mentally reminding yourself that Jimin likely kept him updated on your life as he did to you. "Still doing medical school and it's killing me. You'd think my experience as a nurse would help, but there's so much to the human body that you can't learn in a makeshift hospital. It’s so different learning about it in a textbook instead of the body in front of you."
You notice that Taehyung had tensed up, though only a few seconds afterwards his shoulders had relaxed again. Maybe it hadn’t been a bright idea to bring up the war quite yet to Taehyung.
"I'm sure you'll be fine," Taehyung spoke softly. "You’ve always been brilliant anyway. How's Jungkook?"
You turn to look at him, surprised that he brought him up first. You search Taehyung's face for any hint of what he may be feeling or thinking in his head, but maybe these five years apart have affected the two of you more than you thought, because his face is completely unreadable. You’re not exactly sure how you’re supposed to answer the question either.
"I know you're back together with him," Taehyung explains, shrugging in the process. "Honestly? I'm happy for you. I'm happy you found someone like him to be with. Truly."
A rush of emotions begins to fill you and you can't help yourself before you throw your arms around him and hug him tightly. Taehyung is tense for a few moments before relaxing a bit and then wrapping his own arms around you. His scent remains the same but his body feels completely different than it did 5 years ago.
"I missed you Tae." You whisper, not worrying about the tears that have begun falling from your eyes.
He chuckles, "I know Y/N. I did too."
Taehyung moves to let you go but as he pushes you away he keeps his hands on your shoulders.
"Y/N, I'm sorry for everything that happened back then. I put an unbelievable amount of pressure on you and it was my own expectations that ruined our friendship. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You were my first friend and my most important friend and I hope you can give me a chance to rebuild our friendship and so that we can keep our promise."
"Taehyung, I forgave you a long time ago. But I am also sorry for not being honest with you when you returned. It was wrong of me to allow you to believe I had been waiting for you. I did it out of my own cowardice and selfishness and I hope you can forgive me for my mistakes as well."
"Always Y/N.," Taehyung reassures me, taking hold of my hand and giving it a small squeeze. "So we're friends again?"
"Yes. Always. Until we are both really old and senile and can’t control our own bowel movements anymore.”
** 
A/N: Surprise? This was written in a very quick moment as I try to get back into the habit of writing. My apologies if it’s not as good as the previous work, I'm slowly trying to get back into the habit and I know my writing skills aren't what they used to be. If you made it this far, thank you for even reading AIW in the first place. It means the world!
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ardentlyjae · 4 years
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An update
Hi everyone!
It’s been a while since I even logged in to this account, much less posted on it. But it makes me feel really grateful to see that people are still reading my angsty mess of a story, something I will never ever take for granted.
When I finished All I Want, something which I honestly didn’t believe I’d be able to do, I knew I wanted to take a bit of a break from writing, not a long one though just because I also was full of ideas for new stories and adventures. I just didn’t really think the break would be so long.
It was partially due to my mental health. When I was done with the story, part of me felt like I’d never be able to write something like that ever again. But around the same time my life was going through some pretty big changes both in school, work, and my personal life and I met someone at that time who I truly believed would make me happy. In reality however, this person ended up just chipping away at me slowly for the better part of a year until I realized I couldn’t deal with them anymore, that the person I was becoming was not who I wanted to be nor did I want to be with a person who was slowly breaking me down. During this time, I lost all motivation for anything, including writing. I had notebooks planned of future stories (they’re still buried somewhere in my room) and all kinds of hopes that this person basically just tore down.
When I eventually was finally able to get out of the grasp of this person I had two friends help pull me out. One of them eventually began encouraging me, still does now, to go back to doing what I love, from my other hobbies to writing. They willingly come with me to my happy place and just have made me feel better than I had in a while.
I’m in a better place now than I have been in a really long time. It took a bit to get there but I’m so glad it happened.
I’m slowly getting back into the process of writing. The hardest part for me has always been starting a story. But my notebooks are still in my room and all those past stories are stories that I feel like I owe myself to write. And slowly but surely, new ideas for new stories are coming to me too. Thank you all for your kind words. For somehow still finding All I Want.
I promise I’ll be back soon.
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ardentlyjae · 5 years
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If you stan jungkook or hoseok I recommend you watch this! 💯 #uwuhours
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★ greatest ever‏ | Do not edit.
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G.C.F in Newark VHS ver.
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hip-hop culture is obviously keeping the tag on
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© MADE IN 1997 | Do not edit.
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BTS → 180902 IDOL
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💜
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