allie-leth

[allie-leth]

This person is just describing AuDHD life.

[allie-leth]

You see all men the same, a rather unhealthy opinion, and you see all trans women as men, so it makes sense you would hate us.

And not really hyperbole, you're literally calling me a man saying I am a threat to you, saying I'm a danger. You don't care enough to even consider that I'm something other than what's in your head. You see me use examples of my lived experience and assume I'm malicious as a result. That hurts, but it makes sense if your world view is one of all men are evil, always trying to hurt you, and you see me as such. For what it's worth, I'd be the first person to help you if you were in trouble. I've done it before, I'll do it again, strangers or friends, I've been there for so many. I only desire to make the world better for those around me, but I clearly messed up with my comments here. Sorry.

I was hoping that by engaging you might see that you're hurting people by being malicious as a result of your views, but that was a mistake on my part, and I apologize.

I hope things get better for you. I don't know what's happened to you, but you're clearly hurting, and I'm sorry. No one deserves to hurt like you are, no one deserves to feel that pain. I don't know what caused it, but I really, genuinely hope that you heal and it fades. You're worth it. I hope your future is wonderful and that you can obtain the future you want to live.

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

[allie-leth]

I was isolated for so long. I had no community, I had no close friends, just shitty abusive partner after shitty abusive partner that I was always too scared to leave, because being completely isolated seemed worse than the abuse. I tried so hard to get out, but I never knew where to go, I didn't know how to take the first steps, and so I would try so fucking hard and fail, over, and over, and over, and over again, until I felt like I could only ever fail. I was a gifted child, told how amazing and smart I was, while suffering abuse at home every day, and it slowly broke me. I wandered off the path and got lost, and couldn't find my way back. I withdrew from life because life was painful and I felt like I could only ever fail, so what was the point?

I genuinely don't know how I survived through that. I must have been stronger than I thought, or maybe weaker, I don't really know.

I have completely recovered, I am doing well now, but I can't talk about that period of my life. I can't tell my friends about that, I've only ever told one person some of the details about that period of my life. My friends don't understand why I appreciate the most basic kindness so much, why it's made me cry when they tell me they'll miss me or were thinking of me. They don't understand why I try so hard to be a good friend, why I will help whenever they need it. They just think I'm a good person, a good friend, but they have no clue of the trauma from my past that makes me terrified of being isolated again, of being back in that pit.

To this day, who I am is shaped by that period of my life. I try so hard, day in day out, because I remember when I couldn't. I offer non judgemental compassion to everyone, because I don't know what they're going through and I never want anyone to feel like I've felt. The isolation. The pain. Going to sleep hoping I don't wake up, night after night.

Had you told me then that I would turn into the person I am now, I wouldn't have believed you. It didn't seem possible. I couldn't even function, I had too much social anxiety to walk into stores if there were more than 1-2 people, I couldn't interact with the world from the weight of my own thoughts.

But I am so fucking proud of myself from that time. I am so fucking proud of her for making it through, I am so fucking proud of her for doing her best, even while having absolutely no hope. She was trying so hard, she was doing her absolute best, and it doesn't matter that her best is a fraction of what I can do now, I know how hard I was trying.

I made it out of that pit, I've built a life for myself, I have community, I have loved ones, I have a partner that isn't abusive. I have a future again.

If you're in that pit, if this resonates with you at all, I just want to say; there's hope. You can make it out, you can rebuild, you've got this. I am so fucking proud of you for doing your best, just like I'm proud of past me for doing hers. I believe in you, I'm rooting for you, and I know that you've got this. Don't give up, don't check out of life, don't let the stagnation become your status quo. I know that you can do it. Find your path, and work your way out, one step at a time. You've got this.

❤️

#trans #queer #transgender #lgbtqia #audhd #actually audhd #actually autistic

[allie-leth]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bratwurst

You asked for Würsts, right?

Hehe brät

Calling people bräts now

[allie-leth]

You are, indeed, a brät. 😋

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bratwurst

You asked for Würsts, right?

Hehe brät

Calling people bräts now

[allie-leth]

This... This is not concrete enough for me. I'm really arachnophobic. Skipping whatever I was supposed to be in that room for.

[allie-leth]

Woah, thanks, you too. ❤️

you're absolutely fabulous today

[allie-leth]

That's such a cute outfit!

those days are over

[allie-leth]

I cast magic reflect.

i cast spell of feel good about yourself in the form of reblogging your selfie <3

[allie-leth]

Yeah, if your apology ends in them comforting you, you didn't apologize, you just shifted the burden of responsibility onto them to take care of you after you did something worth apologizing for.

Don't do that. It puts them into a position of either not feeling heard, bad, or having to shove their emotions down to take care of you, worse.

I've been jn relationships with people like this, in the end I stopped even trying to tell them when they hurt me because burying my emotions was easier than taking care of theirs.

If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.

[allie-leth]

It's 430. Why am I here and not sleeping.

Oh. Right. The yearning.

😭

#trans #queer #transgender #lgbtqia #lesbian

[allie-leth]

Come here, puppy, be good and do as you're told...

Find community and happiness in your life, work on yourself, and seek validation internally.

Who's a good puppy and is going to do as they're told? You are! Yes you are!

If you look at me and just say “down” I will be on my knees immediately no questions asked

[allie-leth]

You know, I may be a mess sometimes, but at least I'm a hot mess. It doesn't make it better or easier, but it sure does help with pretending I'm fine by seeking validation online and substituting that for mental health.

#trans #queer #transgender #lgbtqia #lesbian

[allie-leth]

SssSSSsssSs

I wrote some python for you.

I have a joke I want to make but it requires:

1) me to write some phyton.

[allie-leth]

Absolutely not. Please remember that most bird sounds and songs are either saying "fuck you, I'm here" or "fuck me, I'm here" and that we definitely should NOT arm them because they'll use them for those reasons.

I wish I could arm birds. They seem like they deserve it

[allie-leth]

Unfortunately being aware isn't how you fix it, it's solving the shit that causes it. Had to learn that one the hard way. Don't make my mistake, being self aware only gets you so far, and everything past that is just self inflicted torture as you watch yourself repeat the self destructive behavior over and over... 😭

I'm doing good now, but, man, it took awhile.

[allie-leth]

I thought it stood for giraffe, like, lions, giraffes, bears, and tigers. Is LGBT not a wildlife organization???

#lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gay #silly #trans #transgender #transgirl