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[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

March

hello friends from faraway! i'm on time because guess what... i'm done with my assignments (for now)! finally 😭😭😭

quite literally underestimated second semester to be much easier and less busy than first semester... oh how horribly wrong i was. the mount of assignments is no joke. more classes and more professors mean more presentations i have to do. but do not worry your girl is always on top of everything and is proud to say i've always finished my assignments long before the deadline. this proven can be a double edged sword kind of thing - my profs have very high expectations on me and many times i'm picked to be the first to present or to teach the class 🧍‍♀️ the most hilarious thing about this was that some profs keep asking me whether i come from prestigious universities (Ul, UGM, Unpad etc) whenever i was able to answer their questions accordingly, and the shock on their faces when i told them i came from a private uni 😭😂 this happened three times and to me it's a very interesting experience to observe...

the double edged sword being that i remember my mum saying i could be a 'target' and that naturally people will 'latch' onto me - and she wasn't wrong. there were occasions where i bear the burden having to explain everything to everyone because the prof deemed me capable to replace her to teach, or having a classmate that keeps asking me gazillion things about our assignments when it was already explained clearly beforehand, and the worst of all is having someone copy my work (i can't say no because i'm the youngest, remember...) i did not literally spent hours every day reading textbooks and journals for this individual to copy paste what i've written in just a few secs!? well thankfully i can be more assertive these days and tell them i do not accept to be treated this way, and it was resolved quickly... but you see, my mum is right. i'm the target 🤪

but other than that school is fun. i love learning new things. i feel like i've found the thing i'm interested the most because instead of getting scared about new things now i kinda become more intrigued and excited! still have my anxious, overthinking self popping in here and there, but i've adjusted to it. here i feel like your surrounding really does shape you, in a way now i'm in an environment where curiosity and the thirst to chase answers are highly appreciated, so i become one who questions almost everything. everyone is always prepared, with knowledge on one hand and experience on the other, so i act just as such. at my prev uni all those didn't matter much so i did feel like my mind was dulled and dimmed back then...

in the same note, this month i finally get to experience a class with a 'unique' prof, a different kind... i don't mean it in a negative undertone but he is thought provoking, if i may say. his way of teaching is like tiptoeing on thin ice and free diving at the same time, every meeting leaves an impression, an indent in my mind for sure 😂 but i must add he is very smart, has unfaltering integrity, and i respect him for that. definitely a very interesting persona and a cool lecturer! will study about preadjusted Edgewise system under his supervision, excited to start because this is the most commonly used bracket system these days.

also March this year is special because of Ramadan is here! when Ramadan started thankfully i've done 1/3 of my assignments so they didn't interfere with my prayers. what it did is mess up my sleep schedule 😂 some of my classes start at 7 AM and lasts through until 12 PM, and the lot of us could barely stopped ourselves from falling asleep at class 😭 but anyways i pulled through and made a Ramadan special schedule where i have to stop working by 6 PM, the rest of the night is for prayers and Quran reading. and no matter how exhausted i am, i will always try to go to the mosque and do 23 rakaah of taraweeh prayers. at the mosque near my house it lasted from 7-10 PM... sometimes i feel like my feet is about to fall off or that my body is too tired, but then i remember i could literally spend almost 12 hours to queue and see coldplay back at Singapore so now how could i even dare not to spend 3 hours to see Allah? that's an instant energy boost for sure 🥺

midway Ramadan, we had our first ever orthodontics dept gathering for break fasting! the tricky part of this was that my year had to prepare a performance, and can you imagine all of us swamped by assignments and fasting, yet we still have to rehearse a performance!? 😂 as per usual i became the class' ghost coordinator - if it weren't for me pushing my classmates around to do things they won't do it lol and so finally we came up with a simple choreo and kak Omi's husband provided us a song to dance to. the performance wasn't really a success as expected hahaha but our profs and seniors said they appreciated the effort 🤪 syncing our moves was so hard but oh well we tried!

at the end of March, i got to meet the barudaks - Dimas/Aria/Kanti/Syifa and it's our new group name lol it was 4/4 before 😂 the weirdest mismatched bunch from senior high school that somehow became my closest friends... well that tends to happen when reality lumped you in lol. this time we celebrated Kanti's bday and her return from her internship at Maluku. had a potluck and everyone had to bring food with their initials as the first letter of its name, i brought (s)iomay! spent 5 hours playing at Aria's house and just talk about anything from job to love life, playing Nintendo Switch, it was so much fun i love laughing a lot with them!

oh boy March has been quite eventful! halfway done with second semester, can you believe it!? i feel like as i get older time somehow moves faster, i'm now about to prepare to enter my clinical years starting in third semester... more exciting things to come! will visit Bali twice (Menjangan at May 20-22 for huge ortho dept gathering and social charities, then Denpasar at September 19-21 for Indonesian Association of Orthodontist annual meeting) and other seminars 🤩🤩

right now we're entering the last 10 days of Ramadan and i'm feeling emotional as usual because how can it end so fast!? i feel like i haven't done much this time. so much rain these days and i can only keep reciting my prayers... may Allah grants us the chance to see Ramadan again next month 🙏🏻

well, that is all for now. see you on April post. until then, keep yourself healthy and happy, my dear friends 💙

#Ramadan hello and hope to see you again next year! #first Ramadan as an ortho res #alhamdulillah #a day in my life

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February

it's February 29th!!! on a leap year!!! hello everyone!!!

honestly i don't think i can pour as much words i used to for this month's entry because i am so busy like no kidding i am getting kicked in the ass by my assignments. second semester is no joke it has 3457935x more assignments than first semester, and it's only been the first month! out of four! insanity!

but it's fun though, it's always fun. anything that is out of the comfort zone is fun, although i keep losing weight because of the stress and the no-eating tendency that always follows... lol.

but yes, one word for February and it's just: assignments. i'm literally stealing my precious time just to write this and finish my long overdue January entry 🤪 i can't even be as chronically online on Twitter as i loved to do! this is blasphemy i miss Twitter!

new adventures this semester, new profs, new literal shock therapies 💀 it's just so funny how i keep feeling like time is running so fast when you have so many things to do! like i can't believe i'm in 2/6 semesters already! fingers crossed for everything to go smoothly, please pray for my wellbeing lol 😭

on a brighter note: RAMADAN IS COMING! 10 days (more or less) to my fav month everrr i am so ready for all the festivities and good things it brings, oh how i've missed Ramadan so much 💙

see you in March, on a hopefully a bit relaxed slowed down stream of assignments!!!

#omg it's just new assignments every single day #i am truly drowning LITERALLY #help #bismillahirrahmanirrahim #otw orthodontist struggle lol

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January 2024!!!

hello friends, i made it in time before January ends! hahaha

i got my very first GPA! and it's... drum rolls please... 3.95/4! 🎉✨ alhamdulillah if it not for Allah's numerous help, wouldn't be here 🥺 now it's time to prepare and plan and strategize for second semester and keep up with the good work!

here comes the best part of January: my coldplay Singapore trip! this trip is the first time i'm taking my sister with me as it's also her bday gift from our parents, and as you've probably guessed, i took care of everything lol even from renewing our passports to making itinerary list and public transportation route maps... but it was fun! i love making sure everything is under control 😂

but of course things don't always go by our plan because my flight to Singapore got delayed for almost four hours, and we arrived at Changi airport close to midnight. that also meant the last MRT train to city had already departed, and we were forced to take taxis. then of course yet again taxis are so hard to find it's so jarring the difference of night life in Jakarta vs Singapore lol so we had to take Grab Car ride which was a lot more expensive (S$ 32.4 or roughly 378,000 IDR! by cash!) i literally almost tried to kip a night at the airport but decided against it at the end because in the morning we have to be at the stadium 🤪 (spoiler this trip is all about rushing here and there lol) so yeah took a 13 mins car ride to our hotel and met kak Regina, my first coldplay twitter mutual i'm meeting on this trip! 12 am and exhausted from the flight, we all went to bad after a lil chit chat.

next morning is finally d-day! Jan 27th 2024 i won't forget you ever 🥺 i was gonna be super ambitious of getting barrier to the point i want to leave the hotel at 6.30 AM but you can't deceive your age lol ok well i was just so tired and i have early entry ticket anyway so i deferred a bit and went to the stadium at 8 AM instead hehe. fun part is kak Regina was told by local uncle a shorter route to reach Singapore Sportshub complex and that's the route we took, so instead of spending so much time at the MRT and walking to the station, we took a short bus ride and then walk a straight line from Geylang road to the Sportshub outer door near Nicoll Highway. surprisingly (not) i love the walking route because masyaAllah Singapore is so clean and i loooooove walkable cities it's my dream to live in one 🥺🥺🥺 we arrived at the stadium at around 8.30 AM, and of course there was no queue yet and the Kallang Wave Mall wasn't even open yet, so what did we do? sit down next to the entrance gate and enjoy the morning breeze, no pollution whatsoever... it was so calm and peaceful!

at 10 AM my sister left us to go sightseeing at Orchard rd with her friends while me and kak Regina decided to go eat breakfast at Kallang Wave Mall, to eat at this food court named My Kampung. this was the time i met three of my coldplay mutuals! one from is Sri from Pekalongan, Indonesia and two are ate Andrea and ate Abbie from the Philippines! it was nice all of us talk a lot about coldplay and lil bit of kpop, exchanged gifts, and took pics 💙 also here in this mall everywhere you look you'll find so many people coming down after finishing their workouts. again i envy Singaporeans so much they have this sports complex where you have ALL you need to accommodate their sports activities and then a living public area to shower and eat after, all connected to every line of public transportation system...

12.30 PM i left the group because i had to collect the special fabric wristband for early entry VIP ticket holders, and there was a lil queue, not much people start queueing. here i met another coldplay mutual bang Tulus from Indonesia!

(edit: 29/02/2024 - it's always the coldplay show posts that i procrastinate bc i have so many things to say YET no time to write it down!)

after getting my Kubik blue fabric wristband, came the dreaded part of going to concerts: queueing 💀 i swear to God, Singapore's temp was so hot that day, it's funny because days before it was full raining... not sure whether to be grateful or not because if it rained it'd be damp, if the sun's scorching hot we'd be sizzled. and sizzled we were! bang Tulus introduced me to his two other friends, the lovely kak Afi and bang Reza, both who have had the lucky opportunity of meeting Chris before! we set a strategy on how to get barrier, and thankfully i reserved a spot on the very front of the queue line.

4 PM, it was finally the time to enter the venue! (not yet the stadium, YES there were two different queues) and thanks to our organized strategy we got barrier when we were allowed to enter the stadium 🥺

(edit: 15/03/2024 - lol i’m buried in my assignments i’m so sorry for the very late update 😭)

barrier spot is always the best for me, though the minus point is that you don’t get the full view of everything - but i get to see Chris, Jonny, Guy, and Will sooo up close! almost got a fist bump from Jonny but his hands were too far 🥲

anyways again i can’t write down the whole story because honestly it’s an experience where i think words can’t do it justice! i just remember how much fun i have, seeing coldplay tour crews walking around (Anna Lee the tour photographer took a pic of us!!! and our pic is included in the band’s tour app gallery!!! and also Mike the camera guy he was in our section a lot hahah), the confetti cannons in front of us literally shooting hundreds of confetti into our mouth and pockets lol.

i’m always so emotional every time i get to the end of the show, listening to A Wave as the credit title rolls, seeing people leaving the stadium… listening to the studio mastered ver of it is already a tearjerker moment but hearing it live at the end of your show? man. i got so overwhelmed i think i spent a few minutes just taking it all in. trying to permanently carve the memories onto my brain. i’m so lucky i get to find happiness in everything everywhere everyone i’m so so so happy!!!

also at the end i get to meet Isha finally! we were separated at the start of the concert because she wanted a spot near A stage. we took pics with confettis and i’m sure we were one of the few who exited the stadium the last 😂 in retrospect i was one of the first to enter with my early entry ticket and the last one to leave? 😂😂 that’s so on brand of me 😆 then i went to the merch exchange spot to get the early entry special package and i’m so sad they cut off my fabric wristband! 😭 then i said goodbyes to kak Afi, bang Tulus, bang Reza… what a wholesome bunch 🥹🫶🏻

this show i’m only sad about not getting to meet Tugce (from Germany) and P’Bogey, P’Nummon, and P’Pang (from Thailand) because i was already in queue line and couldn’t get out 😭😭😭 next show i will make it through ☝🏻

11 PM, finally i went back to my hotel, the MRT was so packed i’m glad kak Regina knew a trick to make sure we don’t get stuck (from MRT Stadium you get on the train to Paya Lebar direction and drop off at the MRT Mountbatten station, then walk the rest to Geylang area it’s a straight route you won’t get lost, thank me later!) and we arrived at around 11.30.

can you believe we spent HOURS outside so we were drenched in sweat and i ordered everyone to take a shower lol and we couldn’t waste time because we have to get to the airport at 3 AM though our flight is on 7 AM (it’s our Asian blood behavior of always make sure you’re at the airport t-3 hours!!!) as the timekeeper naturally i didn’t slept at all 🤡 made sure everyone packed everything and then ordered the taxi! Isha tagged along because she didn’t want to spend more money though her flight is on 2 PM 😭

kinda a heartfelt moment when we finally part ways (kak Regina’s boarding gate is at T2, mine’s at T4, Isha’s at T3) and also thinking this is the end of such a chaotic fun messy spontaneous trip 😆 forever grateful coldplay got me into this adventure of a lifetime! my 2017 coldplay Singapore show is memorable because it’s my first but this second one… it’s so special because i get to meet so many of my best friends from all over the world 🥹

only spent less than 48 hours in Singapore but the energy i got is enough to fuel me for the second semester. my heart is so warm and full… 🫶🏻 so many things i never even imagined are happening, things i used to think can only happen in daydreams… i feel like a tide is about to turn and i’m so excited! there’s this phrase Chris wrote on his piano, “open + surrender” and it reminds me so much of the concept of tawakkul! i firmly believe in it and i’m glad i never wavered - time is indeed your best friend!

hoping for more happiness to come. see you in the next post, my friends 💙✨

#a great way to start 2024 #alhamdulillah #love you coldplay #gonna allow myself to escape reality in coldplay concerts

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December

hello everyone, i know it's already day 23 of January 2024, literal almost a month after the month ends and is already on another year, but at least i'm here yaaay (i really need to start writing the monthly post a week before said month ends 😭)

December was actually, just as thrilling cliff-hanging as November! thing is my countdown to my other coldplay show was finally down to under 50 days and it was also the end of the very first semester.

just in the true fashion of my life, my adventure this time is: going back and forth between Jakarta and Tasik in under 24 hours (22 hours to be exact!) on a back-to-back journey just for school and seeing my hometown again 😂

so, as you can tell, i have so many assignments and one of them is a practical skill's lab project where i have a typodont (a phantom model of human teeth embedded in wax) and i pretend to apply orthodontic treatment on it to correct the malocclusion. it was not easy at all. it's quite literally a simulation of what will happen and what should i do when i treat an actual patient. the project lasted for almost five months and even the class didn't stop once the semester break came around, that is why i had to go back and forth between Jakarta and Tasik: i don't want to lose my holidays while still having to attend the weekly class 😂

some will say i'm insane because it's so tiring to do so and indeed it was super exhausting. but if you know me, i'm the type to do just about anything for my loved ones (my parents were staying at Tasik to take care of things and it's been a while i visited my grandparents' last resting place) so it was no big deal at all to endure 7 hours of bus trip each and then 1 hour commute to the station/home. a total 16 hours in 48 hours timeframe spent on the road. and it's worth it, every second of it, because i got to relax and work in the middle of lush green and rice fields... it was the very definition of healing time. i was still under the pressure of stress and deadline to finish that last project, but at least i did it while being surrounded by serene nature and with my mum and dad 😂😂😂 it's such a nice drastic change to do wire bending with all my pliers and stainless steel wires and orthodontic brackets with herd of ducks quacking loudly near me and farmers ploughing soil to plant rice seeds... best part? zero pollution! no light/sound/air pollution whatsoever and i get to see amazing sceneries right out of my windows every day! rain every evening to help me and my mum water the plants (which are thriving!) Mt Galunggung in its majestic full view... woah. it's my best treasure tbh nothing else compares

the most unexpected thing was that our class for that subject/project is usually scheduled on Thursday (so for the first back-and-forth journey i made sure to go back to Jakarta on Wednesday and get back to Tasik on Thursday right after the class ended) and for the second week, my prof suddenly requested us to come to the campus on Tuesday, and guess when did he sent the message to inform us? 6 AM on said Tuesday!!!!! oh you couldn't imagine my panic, how am i supposed to be in Jakarta in less than 4 hours!? thankfully my prof is a lenient one and he let me and kak Mandy (who was in Bandung at the time) to join the class from zoom. another good news is that class is to be our closing session for the project, and that i can just send my typodont instead of coming in person to submit the assignment. yet again Allah's plan is always better than my most carefully thought of one 🥺

the rest of the break i get to spend every day at my hometown just recharging my energy and soaking every positive molecule there is, and my mum have this brilliant idea to buy a table tennis equipment!

at first, not fully knowing the impact of my mum's seemingly random decision, i opposed the buying of said table tennis because it's quite expensive. but after it arrived and i got to play against my mum and dad (who happen to be great players!) i finally understand that my mum knew fully well i don't like outdoor sports (solely because i hate the sun getting my face so red lol) so table tennis is the best option! it's so fun to play and i still get to exert my whole body to get that exercising regime my nutritionist has told me years to do so 😂

for new year's eve, the end of 2023 is the quietest one yet. with just my parents, deep in the greens, miles from the city, and just watching Pengabdi Setan 2/Satan's Slaves 2 (exactly my style hahaha getting my dad to watch it!) i moved over to 2024. just saying and sending out my prayers to welcome the new year and hope i can go through whatever i must face in the future. and again, just how i like it, not many fireworks were blasted so it wasn't that rowdy. it almost didn't feel like NYE celebration, all is calm and cool.

i love slow living, far away from the crowded areas, i could quite literally stay in my hometown at my house and just. be there 😂 it's so easy for me because as long as i have my loved ones with me and a roof above my head, enough to live and get by... that is all. to reach that tranquility and peace of mind is one of the highest priority/goal for me. hope one day after i've accomplished my dreams i get to reside and rest where my heart has always been dwelling.

here's to another journey in 2024, i hope we can together make it through. see you in the January post, that as i said in my Nov one, i'm counting down 3 days to my trip to Singapore and 4 days until i see coldplay again, historic moment as i'll be back to the stadium where i first saw the band 7 years ago!!! see you all soon 💙

#speedrunning thru life #while relaxing in the most novel times #my life my adventure type of thing #alhamdulillah #life is still as good and fun and worth living #:)

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November!!!!!

your monthly late post is here! and this time it's for a very special month, by far my favorite month of 2023 (we still have to wait until December though, in this house we play fair and square hahah) hello lads and lasses, hoping all is well wherever you are!

oh boy where do i even start! so November is my bday month, CoIdpIay Jakarta month, and CoIdpIay's first Asia/Oceania leg of Music of the Spheres world tour!!! this post is gonna be yet another long one because so many exciting things happened and i want to retell every juicy detail of them!

first of all, a little heads up, for laying low purposes i'll be censoring a few words (lowercase L changed to uppercase i, etc) so rest assured my keyboard is OK! second of all, if you saw my instagram stories or read my tweets you guys must be wondering why all of a sudden i got to see CoIdpIay in Jakarta when i clearly said i lost the ticketing war and that i will never buy from scalpers?

this is where one of the greatest adventure of my lifetime started. that seemingly contradictive event is solved by a very unexpected turn as a causal effect of something i did without much thinking a long time ago: i signed up for Love Button (LB) voIunteering project! a little bit background story, CoIdpIay have been partnering with a lot of non-government organizations working for environment, social justice, and humanity, where LB is one of them. every single concert show the band will bring along these NGOs to create impact at the cities they visited. the NGOs will then open a call for volunteers asking locals to join in. when CoIdpIay Jakarta was announced around May, even after i knew i can't see the band, i only thought that at least i get to join an activity that is endorsed by the band, brings positivity, and provides help. so i quickly signed up for LB, and as time flew by i kinda forgot about it.

around mid October aka 1,5 months before CoIdpIay Jakarta, i got an email from LB's head coordinator asking for confirmation from the people who've signed up whether they're still interested to volunteer, there were 27 people contacted. i remember immediately replying with a "yes please!!!" because i was just so excited 😂 then a week later another email from LB HQ again asking for confirmation from the ones who are still interested whether we have any idea which Indonesian NGOs LB can work with and would we be able to make it to spare some time for voIunteering project, this time only 19 people were contacted. then at last, around a month before CoIdpIay Jakarta, LB HQ made a WhatsApp group for the remaining 10 people. i remember thinking, "oh, only ten people can make it," which is understandable because usually the volunteering project will be held on d-1/d-day of the CoIdpIay show, where Jakarta's will be on a weekday.

here's when things get a whole lot more interesting! after all ten of us joined the group, LB HQ dropped the surprise: all of us will get a CoIdpIay Jakarta ticket, free of charge, courtesy of the band!!!!!

i remember receiving the news on a Friday during a class (yes i played with my phone during class do not imitate) and wanting to scream and jump and laugh but i couldn't because i was on a Zoom meeting with my cam on 😂 i never expected this to happen and never even dared to imagine this stroke of luck will ever come to me 🥺 until this very second as i type this i still can't fathom how when it's yours it will be yours no matter what. i mean: i remember feeling so dejected after not being able to secure any ticket on three different occasions (BCA presale, general sale, Infinity tickets sale) and knowing so many scalpers and scammers are out there waiting to prey on me, yet! i still get the ticket, there's a way for me to see the band at my home stadium, from a very unexpected source, and without spending any money!? i was over the moon, rejoicing over the news with a coldplay twitter friend who also got selected as one of the volunteers. i couldn't really talk about it since i want to keep it a secret because at that time i didn't exactly have ticket already, so i didn't want to jinx it.

anyways, LB HQ announced the volunteering project will take place d-1 CoIdplay Jakarta. here was when i encountered the first problem: during CoIdplay Jakarta week, i also had a orthodontic seminar happening (LB volunteer on Nov 14, CoIdplay Jakarta on Nov 15 while the seminar was on Nov 14-16) and at first i was heartbroken because initially

(edit: 31/12/2023 - i’m crying i actually have this Nov post almost finished in drafts BUT THEN BAM more uni assignments i procrastinated even more 🥲 so now i’m gonna finish this post lol)

because initially i thought i couldn’t make it given that i have to attend the Jakarta Orthodontist Meeting seminars, but biidznillah it was actually the one thing that made it possible for me to clear my schedule in a way that i don’t have mandatory classes and i can just slip away unnoticed! this is again, one of those times Allah helped me in ways i never expected and He came from unexplainable twists…

so yes, the days leading to Love Button volunteering day and coldplay Jakarta were charged with adrenaline, literally the best kind of wait i’ve ever experienced haha. i remember when November 14th finally came, i was sooo relieved and nervous at the same time i had to force myself to go to sleep the night before and woke up super early. my plan was: the volunteer work was from 7-9 AM and then i’d go straight to Kuningan where the seminar was held. important note is that the seminar started at 8.30 AM so i was late for almost 1.5 hours (i volunteered at Lapangan Banteng Park at Central Jakarta and the seminar was at South Jakarta 🥲) but yeah! the rush to be quick while also enjoying it was so fun! volunteer work was trash collecting with friends from Trash Hero Jakarta and though it was scorching hot i got to finally meet the rest of Love Button vols (that now are my very great friends, we’re seeing each other again for Coldplay Singapore haha) also! Nov 14th night i went to ColdplayXtra’s fan meetup and met even more coldplay friends!!! we had singalongs while having dinner and sharing stories, i could feel the way our love for the band brings us together, it was instant friendship bond made one after another we conversed like we were longtime besties.

next day comes, the main event of the month: coldplay Jakarta d-day!!! oh my god. when i tell you i can’t even describe how magical that day was, please believe me i feel like right now it’s kinda pointless trying to write it down because the range of emotions i feel that night was so diverse and no word can bring it justice 🥹 but i’ll start from the morning, i had to come to the seminar first because i had to scan my barcode for my attendance record, then at 12.30 PM after i ate lunch & did my prayers i went to Fairmont Hotel to exchange my ticket (the tickets for Love Button vols are different than the rest, because we got special seated VIP ones with ‘guest of the artist’ tagged for us!!! 🤩) then after that we crossed over to Gelora Bung Karno stadium complex.

apparently our tickets also have different instructions where we were to enter the stadium complex from a different/sterile gate, so we didn’t queue at all 🥹 got our lightning wristbands and then we took photos, literally hunting for any photobox or photo ops around the complex because we didn’t need to queue to go inside the stadium (since our tickets are seated ones) to pass time. dozens of photos collected, then we sat down and ate our meals as we wait until gates open time. another surprise came: Coldplay reposted Love Button’s instagram post!!! another once-in-a-lifetime bucket list checked: having our faces broadcasted to almost 24M of coldplay’s instagram followers 😂

around 6 PM we were finally allowed to enter the stadium and my oh my. GBK is HUGEEE! i have a very bad depth/distance perception at first i was like, oh this stadium is not that big. but when i finally had a fixed point of reference (it was the pillars above my head lol) i realized just how spacious and gigantic it is! i mean, the capacity is 85,000 people!!! woah and seeing the place getting filled slowly was quite a view. we had Rahmania Astrini as our opener and she was great! her songs are nice and her voice is A+, i suggest checking her out!

9 PM finally arrived and i remember saying to kak Jess how buzzing with surmounting energy i was as we all held our breath for the long awaited opening track signifying the band’s entrance: John William’s E.T’s theme, the Flying Theme!!! as a film score enthusiast i was this close to combust up in flames, two of my favorite things in one go, my heart can only take so much 🥹🥹🥹

then Higher Power started playing, and it began, the show i had been waiting for 9 years… i remember feeling like i ascended to cloud nine, as the stadium lit up with colors and all i could do was sing as loud as my vocal cord allowed me to, jumped up and down in the most literal way because i couldn’t stop moving around to the beat and the rhythm, and just overall trying to gulp down taking in

(edit #3, 23/01/2024: lol i am sorry my assignments were really holding me from finishing the post but! here i am d-3 to my coldplay Singapore trip, resuming the story!)

i don't think i can put into words what i felt during the show, it was simply magical. everything and everyone was so fully energy charged. and i'm so glad i saw the band with nine other Love Button volunteers because they were in the same brain wavelength/frequency as me so it goes without saying it was super duper fun enjoying whatever the band gave us during the show 🥺 best day ever, best early birthday present ever. the friends i met and found along the way are some of the best people i've ever had the precious chance to come across. these memories are to last for a very long time. so huge thank you for @coldplay no words could ever express my gratitude enough 💙

then along came my birthday, and my classmates held a mini celebration for me, though hilariously they admitted it was almost a disaster because they weren't sure the exact date - i'm the walking reminder of the class so it was impossible to ask the bday person what's their bday 😭😂

all in all, November's adventures are full of fun! the fact that the most seemingly impossible things to happen still found its way to happen is mindblowing. it cemented even deeper into my psyche that to trust Allah is to have the best plan ever. i could literally meticulously plan from A to Z but when He decided upon another, that's my path. even until today i still can't believe against all odds, with many conflicting schedules, tight spots, i still made it. with my faith in me, i will have not to worry. this actually soothes my overthinking self better than anything! haha

life is good, alhamdulillah. see you in the December post that i'm also currently writing (lol!) and also in January post that i'll write after i'm back from Singapore, from yet another adventure of a lifetime! 😉

#alhamdulilah always #i can’t believe i saw coldplay in my home stadium #yaAllah i will never ever doubt your decisions ever again #life is good alhamdulillah

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October

hello everyone! just like in my own fashion: late posting again 🤣 assignments pouring in nonstop but i think i found my rhythm now, and even calling it truce with wire bending - we're cool now! school has been going well, me and my ten classmates just having fun and overcoming things together 🤩

this month has been good to me - no, scratch that - it's given me yet another surprise i didn't even dare to imagine or let alone think about... (disclaimer: not love life related lol) but i can't really talk about it now, it'll be revealed next month 😉

October marks the very last month i get to live at Panglima Polim, feeling very bittersweet about it because i've lived there for six full wholesome years, where i achieved quite a lot of things (finished my first degree, graduated as a dentist, AND got accepted for postgrad program) not to mention the house is located in the heart of South Jakarta, next to prominent public transportation stations... i'm gonna miss the house so much, though not the cleaning and maintenance part haha the only reason i don't like having grand spacious houses. if you know me, you'll guess correctly because i absolutely procrastinated packing my things up. the way that i also knew in my bones i'd finish everything in a few hours yet still i sparsed it out into two full blown weeks, ha! but i emptied my bedroom all the same, and boy oh boy. the stuffs i've forgotten and found again! i think me revisiting old memories while organizing and selecting and taking things out of my closet was taking much longer than the actual tidying up part.

i'm moving to my Brisbane cousin's home, which from now on we'll dub as Kebayoran Lama/Bendi house and is also my childhood home. it belonged to my maternal grandparents but my uncle bought it back in 1998. i lived here since i was born until i was six years old and i moved to Cibubur. the nostalgic feeling i get every single second i spend in this house though... all the happy childhood memories resurfacing, especially the ones where my maternal grandparents and my uncle were still alive are the highlights.

technically it's still quite a distance to my campus at Salemba, but it's definitely better than commuting from Cibubur. also i'm close to Pondok Indah Mall where i used to go almost every weekend during my childhood days! not far from here there's a public cemetery, train railway, and my old kindergarten... it does feel like i'm back as a child. can't believe i'm back living here again after twenty years! so many things coming back to me in this odd yet fascinating exhilarating way, many many many years later. again enforcing my belief that good things do come all in good time!

as i typed this it's my mum's birthday and ten (10!!!) days to go to Coldplay Jakarta and 83 days to Coldplay Singapore night 4! ✨ sooo excited and i will definitely update you guys!

anyway, this moving out permanently thing got me thinking. the silver lining in the cloud is that in order to 'move out', not only i have to 'carry on' i also have to 'leave behind' :) i do not need to bring along the burden of the past, i'm keeping it away at where it came from.

would like to end this post to urge everyone to talk about Palestine. call for ceasefire, donate for aid, boycott (refer to BDS Movement's instructions), share any post on Palestine. from the river to the see, Palestine will be free!

see you on the next post x

#alhamdulillah always #i feel like i've mastered the way to find happiness even in the smallest things #even when in the most desperate times #even when it seems like i have no one #alhamdulillah :)

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September

hellooo, on-time this time! hehe i hope everyone is happy and healthy 💙

the end of September marks one month of school and my assignments are finally slowing down (re: there will be more it's just i've finished them for the moment so i can have some relax time). so, i finally got wind of the learning system here, it's student centered learning where we have to write a paper for every subject and do a presentation for every class, the profs are only there to correct us or complete what we left out. sounds exhausting (because it is!) but i think with this method we're 'forced' to gather as much information as possible because in order to do well we need enough knowledge on the topic. not to mention we're also graded from how active/responsive we are during classes. result is most of my 'free time' is spent reading 🙃 not entirely complaining because the major difference from first degree vs post grad school is now everything's more focused on the discipline i'm interested in hehe

most of my class is held online (god bless) and i'm, yet again, the one in charge of our class' Zoom account (which we buy ourselves instead of provided by the campus). i only go to the SaIemba campus once a week for weekly wire bending class. yes, ladies and gentlemen, wire bending is now taking over my bank account and i mean it literally because the pliers i have to buy cost me a loooooooot of money 🙃 i think this month i really exhausted my savings... the only relief provided for me is that for orthodontists we usually only buy these pliers once to be used for years, that's why it's important to buy high quality ones. kinda glad i bought my Coldplay Singapore tickets before this huhu

an update on my medical check-up, i finally got to see the internist and yep he said i have very high metabolism rate (everything i eat gets converted quickly into energy, not fat/body mass and i need to eat more carbs, but sadly i'm more of a beef veggies fruits person sigh) and that for my slightly anemic blood report i need to consume more blood replenishing food/supplements... these days i swear i’ve been eating more than i did years ago but i simply can't gain weight (still ranging around 41-43 kgs and never higher 🤡)

this September the class celebrated two of our members' birthdays! (again, i'm in charge of reminding everyone of someone's bday 😂) for the first one, kak Mandy's, i kinda made a cruel prank i really regret lol with everyone's help i tricked her we have impromptu on the spot zoom with our professor that required us to show our wire bending progress... she believed me and actually stayed up late to finish her work 😭 i swear i got her to stop and go back to sleep at 10 PM 🥺🥺🥺 but the surprise worked and she was actually surprised (& genuinely happy, i checked on her right after haha) to find us singing the hbd song as she entered the meeting room and sent her a lovely cake for her. the second one, kak Putri's, and this one we can no longer use the Zoom tactic again so we pushed back the surprise to our next wire bending class at uni, bought her pizza and coffee (her favs) and i think the best part is: after i checked in on her, she said she's touched by our efforts as she's never really experienced having people do this much for her. that answer stunned me in a way i get reminded again how being remembered is such a privilege, a rare thing, one's life goal? it's one of the best ways to leave no room for doubt that someone truly cares and loves you? seems like a simple gesture but woah. the impact it left? i think i've never felt more happier being able to remember people's bdays/preferences/likings, seeing how happy i can make someone feel? that's what i strive to do even more now 💪🏻

anyway, did i tell you already i'm the youngest in our class? and the oldest is literally 10 (ten) years older than me? so naturally... i'm also in charge of everything technical: starting from running our class' instagram account and teaching everyone efficient ways to use Google Docs and Slides to finish our assignments 😂👍🏻 i love getting treated like everyone’s little sister and calling everyone kakak/abang 🤣 yet somehow i love being the one people are (mostly) depending on? i like having responsibilities and being able to provide help i guess? 😂 and guess what: i actually also become the class' official editor. yep. one of the assignments given from the dean is to write this mini book (yes, book. not a paper) and she appointed me to be the editor! it's a rigorous task i need to be super diligent and attentive while proofreading and correcting the formatting, but yeah i enjoyed it. my editing hobby has leveled up to a semi official thing haha

last week of September my dad's coworkers held farewell parties (yes plural) for my dad as his last day of work in the entirety of 40+ years of career has finally come... it was an emotional night, almost everyone volunteered to give a lil speech for my dad and said how they've lost and will miss my dad dearly, even some of his lab assistants cried. because my dad was stationed on duty at St Regis hotel naturally i was tagging along, and my dad's subordinates arranged me to be the special guest and yeah. i got teary eyed too because i got to witness yet again how loved my dad is. anyways, i highkey will miss the 'side privileges' i'm so used to get for being a child of a Bank lndonesia employee HEHEHE i mean free staycation at five star hotels almost every week? health insurance (which stopped as i turn 25 huhu) and many many many others. oh well. now it's my time taking care of my mum and dad then, my dream to provide the same or even better treatments than what i received 🥺

with my dad entering retirement, now aside from school i’m swamped with packing and boxing. we’re slowly moving things back to the Cibubur house while i prepare some of my stuffs to carry to my cousin’s house. not gonna lie feeling quite sad because the benefits of having a house in the center of South Jakarta scene are endless! 😂 almost everything is within fingertips’ reach and i’m used to living in that part of the city that never sleeps. Cibubur’s pretty quiet and Bendi (my cousin’s house region) though just a few districts away from Blok M isn’t really the life of the party. i will miss Panglima Polim and everything surrounding it 🥹

last note: these days i'm feeling like life is really that unexpected? so many things i didn't even dream ever happening are thrusted onto my hands right now as we speak and they turn out to be all i've ever wanted? i think i've perfected the formula of doing good + be good + trust the timing. a simple example would be me getting back to school (you can tell i’m not done feeling super happy after getting accepted 😂) excited for more to come, major changes or challenges are welcome: bring it on! i'm ready and up for all kinds of surprises hehe

that's it for September! two months and i'll be 26... 9 months fly away just like that huh 😅 a reminder for me and everyone reading this to enjoy time as it goes, make every second count and special. see you next month!

#alhamdulillah #:) #i will graduate soon #just kidding lol #one month of school done two years eleven months to go #helppp i'm drowning in my assignments #but let's live life happily still!!!

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August

oh my god i am sooo sorry for the super late reply yet again 😭 i swear this time the reason is very much valid: i got swamped with school work! oh well, i'll just do an August and a third of September recap hehe

also very much expected to get this amount of workload because: 1) it's a postgrad school, and 2) it's U of I 😂 i'm feeling that significant shift from undergrad environment of a private university, to a completely independent mode of a public university, though not that surprised with a culture shock phase because i'm used to hold myself accountable to a mainly prioritizing critical thinking learning system. so now when we get new task for every class, it’s not a big deal (the only major change is these tasks rendered me chronically offline aka i’m spending less time on twitter, who would’ve thought 😂) because it’s a discipline i’m interested in, reading numerous journals and finding new textbooks to read no matter how complicated feels like getting gifts, ha!

two weeks in and so far i'm enjoying everything, special mention to my ten wonderful classmates that are nothing but a joy to be around with. so it's fun engaging with them and straight away feeling like we're longtime best friends who haven't seen each other in a while.

here to proudly announce i've been made the class': interim manager, secretary, treasurer, archivist, publicist, photographer, timekeeper, and scheduling coordinator 😂😂😂 it's a lot, but i'm having fun taking care of stuffs and it's not like there are much to work on, since all eleven of us are always helping each other. since there's not many of us, naturally a close knit group was formed from the very first day, and i'm happy to have them as companions for the next three years.

what i notice these days is that my personality is slowly reverting back to my old cheery, bubbly, and super talkative self? it's funny to observe really, and if you know me from my elementary school days, you'll know which version of me i'm talking about hahaha i’m more carefree, taking more chances, overall extracting happiness out of everything.

rolling back a bit, my Brisbane cousin got married on early August! me and the fam went to Bandung and stayed at Bank lndonesia's guesthouse at Tubagus Ismail. was feeling so much nostalgia because that house complex is a place of so much childhood memories.

the venue for the wedding is an outdoor restaurant at Dago area, and the decor was ethereal! i love it so much, and Dago is famously known for its forestry and cool air, and alhamdulillah at that time the sun wasn't too hot, the trees provide a nice shade, and no rain despite heavy rain previous and next days after! my cousin and i have similar taste in esthetics, food, and music, so it was like being in my dream wedding party 😂 doing bridesmaid duty was easy, the EO made sure all we do is look good for the footage! also because i had to walk my cousin down the aisle, i had to wear heels (not my usual Dr Martens boots) and boy oh boy it was only a 3 cm heels but i suffered a lot on hour five 🥲 and again with the personality change i mentioned earlier: i literally participated in the fun games thing, and one of the games required me to run for my life with those heels (other competitors cheated by taking off theirs 😤) and i didn’t even win because the emcee changed the rules mid game!!! still quite bitter about it tbh 🫠 but then again i had so much fun with my cousins, Bandung trips are always to remember.

mid August marked the day me and the newbie ortho res met some of our seniors. next day we got our new shiny yellow jackets and took photos in front of the famous dean/Balairung building (goodness i still can’t pick them apart) then on late August we went through medical checkup, basic life support class, and skill station trainings. this time i got 'reprimanded' by the doctor who supervised the checkup, she said i'm way too skinny my body mass index is on the lower end of underweight... and i have anemia too 🧍‍♀️ i'm scheduled to see an internist later though!

first semester started on August 28th but we didn't have our first class until Aug 30th. every single class awed me in a way we do really have the best in the field as our teachers, and i learned a lot. my brain's gonna absorb as much as it can while being here. still can't believe that i'm a part of this huge thing, against all odds i still got in. this makes me want to do my very very very best and prove that i deserve the spot. such an amazing feeling to be able to study more and finding out knowledge is truly inexhaustible. then i realized yet again that my line of profession is never-ending learning process, i'm humbly glad to be on this exact place and time, a dentist and orthodontics resident. no words are able to describe how grateful i am.

in another good news, in 138 days i'll be seeing Coldplay in Singapore! doing mental countdown and using it as a motivation to study 😂 i can't wait to get barrier and scream out all the lyrics, thinking maybe i should get a strategy to be noticed by the social media crews (currently devising a head piece or costume lol) and maaaybe i'll end up on coldplay's instagram heheheh

a bit of sad news: this September it'll be my dad's last month ever working as a Bank lndonesia employee, which means i'm moving out of the Blok M/Panglima Polim house and back to Cibubur. though technically for my first year of school i'll be moving temporarily to my Brisbane cousin's home somewhere in Tanah Kusir, so yep, still a South Jakartan (born and raised! haha)

oh well. that's all the exhilarating run of the eighth month, it's 8/12 already!? time flies so fast, i'm about to turn 26 in three months 😂 see you on September post!

#first day of school!!! #sometimes i can't believe i put myself through this yet again #but i know it'll be worthwhile #bismillahirrahmanirrahim always #LET'S GOOOOO #alhamdulillah #a day in my life

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JULY!!!!!

hello everyone, lads and lasses, i hope you are all well and happy! buckle up because this post is going to be long for i want to put down as many details as i can - i'll just go straight to the point that i'm uncharacteristically on time for this July post because i just can't wait to relay the news!

here we go, the main highlight of this month is that i can finally confide in you guys for what is the true nature of my project because it went super duper well! and if you follow me on instagram or twitter, yes: i got accepted to Dentistry UI's Orthodontic Residency program ✨

look at that. i still can't believe it says i got in. still feels like a fever dream, but it's real 🥺

so July has been such a tremendous emotional rollercoaster for me... well honestly the past year has been one. i prepared for the SIMAK UI exam since October 2022 because there were just so many things to take care of, not to mention actually studying for the exam(s). yep, there were different exam steps and each has a challenge of its own. before i explain them and the timeline, i just want to put a disclaimer that orthodontic residency is one of the hardest to get into and i went in with complete surrender of how the result will turn out. there were 19 candidates and only 11 are accepted.

there were eight different exams: TPA (some sort of academic potential test), GMAT English test, MMPI (and i quote from Google: "The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory is the most common psychometric test devised to assess personality traits and psychopathology."), orthodontic theory computer based test, orthodontic theory essay, English essay, orthodontic wire bending practical exam, and the last being an interview with the professors of the department.

if the amount of tests already made you cower, then the dates and intervals of when the exams were held will tip you over the edge: all eight exams are done in just the span of four days! i remember checking out the schedule and got a headache immediately because i was so worried of the time constraint. and the way that there's an exam day where i had four exams done... i literally ate next to nothing and got a bit sick afterwards (sorry, a force of habit with so much stress lol)

so many went in as an effort to put my best out there, and it wasn't easy. to get into residency programs it's a well known public secret that you need to have an insider or a recommendation letter from higher-ups, and really... i have none. i remember my mum saying that all i have is Allah's help. as anyone who know me may guess, i did everything i could (obviously) 😂

for the orthodontic theory exams i had to read two thick textbooks that took me two months to finish, because it was just too much of new information i need considerable amount of time to understand the theories. there was no guideline on what to expect or what kind of question will appear on the exams, so i just blindly read everything and try to make a sense out of it. i think 6 months before the exam week every day was just me reading anything orthodontics related, revising them, working on sample exam questions i have from my previous clinical years, and practicing wire bending (it got me bruised fingers for weeks) i think for this time i can say i'm very proud of myself for being able to push through despite many hindrances, for getting in on my first shot because as i stated earlier many ortho residents had to try twice or even thrice until they're accepted.

the exam week went from July 2nd to July 6th, i think i was a zombie during this time because i couldn't eat well at all and my brain just programmed my body to react as best as i could to everything that transpired in those five days 😭 the announcement was on July 25th and i was on a clinic shift where i had a patient one hour before announcement time and it felt like i was downright insane counting down to the moment i refresh the website... i remember jumping up and down as i see congratulations written 🥺 on July 26th there was a meeting for all residents and i finally got to meet my 10 'classmates'! to be frank i'm so nervous of what's to come but as always, i'll meet it when it does. class will start around late August/early September, so wish me luck for the next three years of residency!

second highlight is my East Sumba trip!!! as usual it was my dad's office trip again for the nth time and i thoroughly enjoyed it as it was five days after i was done with SIMAK UI's exam week! the trip lasted for six days (2 days of journey to and from included) and let me tell you: Sumba. is. so. beautiful. i ran out of objectives, all i could do while exploring just a small portion of Sumba is praise Allah's name because what else would i do? nothing manmade will ever replicate or even come close to the omnipotent presence of nature. i went to Wairinding Hills (it's a hit tourist spot that showcases Sumba's unique terrain, the sunset view is one of a kind), Tanggedu Waterfall (super blue, cold waters here i could spent hours just submerging my feet in it, the view is also great), Walakiri Beach (the special part about beaches in East Sumba is that it has mangrove trees as a way of land protection and during sunset, it gave the impression of the sea mirroring the tree and the people, so yeah top notch photo spot) and of course seafood culinary trip! being near the sea in every direction it gives access to fresh water creatures and the cuisines are heavenly. i thoroughly enjoyed my time here 🥺

from this East Sumba trip i finally decided i'd rather go exploring Indonesia's hidden gem islands rather than going abroad, and i'm not saying this to make a jab to other countries really, it's just i can't believe there are still so many undiscovered untouched ethereal parts of nature in my own country and it's so close to home! i feel like it's a top priority in my bucket list to see them at least once in my life. the only disheartening thing is how the government seems to not care even an ounce about these places. i wish they would notice and make sure the locals can actually benefit from these full of potential tourist spots. also really sad to see most of the tourists here are foreigners because of how expensive domestic flight tickets are to these secluded islands. i sincerely hope for a better plan for these issues...

i know i'm jumping a bit on the timeline here but back again to July 29th i got to see a longtime friend, Nurul! our fathers work at Bank Indonesia and we met while we were in junior high school on a BI event. and i love the fact that even a small inconsequential occurrence turned out into a friendship that stays strong through the years 🥺 we had lunch and watched Oppenheimer together!

then at last July 30th i went to an orphanage that my parents are patrons of, and held a lil celebration of me becoming an orthodontic resident and my sister graduating. it was fun seeing all the kids i've first met back in 2018 as i was starting my clinical years to be a dentist and they are a major part of my journey from becoming a dentist to now a resident. we had lunch and i gave mini dental health education and free dental health checkup - it was hilarious how the boys were more embarrassed than the girls about doing the latter!

that's it for July. oh how time flies :) it's always a mind acrobat looking back and, though it hasn't settled fully yet, knowing how far i've come... i've said this 348573495 times but really, it's an amazing feeling to see things i didn't understand back then are now starting to come back to me in full circle. especially how now i understand never giving up and conceding decisively go hand in hand. life will reveal its secrets and why things go the way they are, all in good time.

dear friends, be patient, do good and be good 😉 good things come to those who wait - they're coming our way. see you in next post!

#alhamdulillah #masyaAllah tabarakallah #i'm officially back to school #yet again #bismillahirrahmanirrahim #excited for this new journey!!! #LET'S GO

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HARRY POTTER 20TH ANNIVERSARY RETURN TO HOGWARTS | 2022

#reblogs #harry potter

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June!?!?!?

today is July 1st but oh well. is it really in my fashion to deliver things if not late? 🤣 it's just a day late, so forgive me. this month's updates are all on a good note, i still feel all excited and giddy to relay the stories to you!

let's start with the highlight: actually getting Coldplay ticket(s)!!!!! yes, you heard it right, folks, i finally get my well deserved Coldplay tickets. surprisingly the ticketing war for Singapore shows (which the band will do for six nights!) was easy compared to the Jakarta one, ticketmaster has proven to be the best ticketing site. and yes, you also read it right, i have tickets plural, because i teamed up with Isha (one of my lovely Coldplayer mutuals) and we secured tickets for the Friday Jan 26th and Saturday Jan 27th shows!!! for the Saturday one i got the Kubik Experience package, which is basically the early entry version of the standing/general admission ticket with dedicated merchandise gifts added to the pile also! can't wait to go back to Singapore's National Stadium again, it has been a long six years since my A Head Full of Dreams tour Singapore show 🥺

this month is the last preparation month for the project and i will have to 'present' it on first week of July (which is d-1, counting from right now) can you believe for this thing i kinda have to lie low for a while and that means removing profile pictures (i’ve always done this actually) and deleting bios? 😆 i'm super nervous but also at the same time can't wait to get this over with 😂 i've had this plan on the run since last year so i just want to finally pour out everything i've worked hard for, and i’ll get the 'result' in last week of July. keep me in your prayers, okay? 🤞🏻

speaking of July, my dad's assigned to yet another Bali office trip and because of my 'project' i'll be left alone at Jakarta while the rest of my family will spend a week at The Westin, Nusa Dua... kinda sad because i really want to tag along because i have this quirky? unusual? hobby to enjoy as many hotel restaurants and i really want to experience the Nusa Dua beaches as well 🥺🥺🥺 i guess next time. my dad said he also has a Sumbawa office trip coming up, and i'm determined to clear my schedule for that one hehehe it's another dream of mine to explore as many Indonesian cities as i can!

my Brisbane based cousin's wedding is a little bit over a month away and the modiste told me my outfit for the day will be done by the end of July! i know i've repeated this word numerous times before but: i'm super excited!!! Bandung trip soon!

at last: one particular little Pycnonotus snouckaerti that i haven’t seen for a long time came, as a surprise visit. i think this is one of those common yet invaluable moments where i'm getting reminded again and again that happiness is in the little things. and that it’s irrevocably true, the “everything in good time.” quote is. i think it’s amusing to experience how anything put down in the right way is an integral factor of transforming such small matters into something more meaningful, enough to boost and fuel you just through everything.

i think June has been kind to me and i am truly, genuinely happy. i'm ready for anything life throws at me at this point, welcoming all the people and twists and turns and adventures. i'm gonna say hello to everything and everyone; i'll be waiting. cheers to live even more of life!

see you in July's post, send me all your luck for my project! 😉

#alhamdulillah #always #bismillahirrahmanirrahim #a day in my life

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be that as it May

hellooo, friends foes and strangers alike! using this title for a tumblr post for second time running and i'm actually early by one day (it's May 30th, so yep) genuinely proud of myself :) hahahaha

well, this post i think it's gonna be a monthly-journal-and-a-serious-note one... a word vomit guaranteed, so apologies in advance and bear with me. May was yet another rollercoaster but in another context i can't disclose yet (and not sure when i can let the secret out in the open or confirm/deny the rumors lol but for 2nd time: it’s not me getting engaged ok 🤣 i don’t even have anyone in mind) but yeah the highlight: not getting coldplay Jakarta ticket.

i'm so damn livid at so many things like 😭😭😭😭😭 first of all the scalpers deliberately buying the tickets just so they can resell it in exorbitant prices, the FOMO crowd for taking my spot as an actual coldplay fan (though i'm not nearly as mad as i am at the scalpers because well, they just want to see the band that i also happen to love), and the coldplay management team for planning a stupid Asia/Oceania leg tour route that doesn't make sense (who the hell decided to go for only a day at Jakarta then straight to Perth which is miles away and then back to Malaysia?)

anyways i'm counting on people suddenly having other events or important business to attend to so there will be tickets i can buy secondhand. not going to appease scalpers by panic buying i want to see them suffer a huge loss and will be rendered to resort selling it half price on d-day or something. i feel like i deserve the tickets so bad the concert day is literally eleven days before my birthday in November 😭 i know i can make it happen i WILL see my band like i did last time!!! 😤

the remainder of May is just me working on the project, preparing stuffs and literally running all over Jakarta to get things done, me overthinking, nothing new (read: clowning as always) not trying to be cryptic but just like coldplay said in Speed of Sound: "every chance that you get is the chance you seize." wish me luck, pals!

my Brisbane based cousin who's going to get married in August sent us the fabric needed to make the outfit for the special day and i'm getting even more hyped up!!! it's not me who's going to say my vows and tie my life to the other half of my soul but i'm super happy. can't wait for Bandung trip 2.0 yippeee

okay here we're entering the serious note territory... for once, for so long, i'm letting myself to just let go of the words. kinda sure some of you have probably caught on, or thought i'm a daft dimbo for this but yes: it's about him. on May 25th, two years ago i spoke to him for the very last time. full reassurance from my part to say that no, it's not about me not being able to move on or blah blah blah, it's quite the opposite actually.

writing this down, on here, feels like some sort of purge. it's not in a bad way either, i am glad i can finally talk about it openly, with no sense of remorse or regret or hatred or resentment. right now, after two years of as much space and time given to think and process it through, remembering him and the days that build the very core of memories i still keep in my mind feels like rereading my favorite book.

it's like me and him are just some other characters that i cheer and cherish for, i long and support and yearn for, and the story ends with a nice closure chapter. a complete book. to me personally, it's like reading Harry Potter. such a huge part of my life, yet i'm no longer there.

i no longer stutter or taken aback or get the chills whenever something in the present pulls me back into a particular memory of him. i embrace it with open arms and with a smile on my face. i reread my last letter to him and actually edited it (my editor self is just, you know, being an editor) i'm as unabashed and unbothered to open my old chats with him (i kinda cheated oops sorry if you read this lmao i just never feel the need to delete the chats because let's be fr i don't need to reread it, i still can recall what we talked about just from memory. that's me and my insanely biased brain, ha!) and actually laugh and cringe (mostly on my part, because it was so clear i tried to catch his attention by doing literally everything omg i was so embarrasing 🤣😭😂) (also for disclaimer, i never opened our chatrooms, not until this month, so i also kinda kept my part of the agreement) but it's fun nonetheless. nothing that happened between us will ever tarnish or alter the fact that i was genuinely happy and the joy filled memories will always be there.

it's a bit hilarious how my 'strategy' is to avoid him like a plague. left zero gap for any chance to even get a glimpse of him or his life. basically two years of absolutely nothing of him (except for some weird twist like how his mum and my mum are still members of the same whatsapp group, though they don't interact much) in a glance it does seem like i'm trying to run away from reality, but i swear it's just my way of dealing with problem at hand, since i suppose fourteen years worth of feelings can't be extinguished in a lazy attempt with feeble manner. yet that doesn't mean i'm gonna play pretend and fake an amnesia, i still think about him sometimes. i guess it's just part of being human, with weaknesses and all.

you've probably wondered, yes: i still do love him with all my heart. just in a different way, and for sure, from far away. see what i'm talking about? he's just like an endearing fictional character you have grown to love and will always be with you (yes i'm a huge Potterhead lol) it's platonic, sometimes familial love, just constantly running in the background. i always do that to the people i regard highly in my life, so again, nothing new.

i still count him as one of my selected few best friends though imprudent and tactless he can be because he sometimes is also the voice of reason to my farfetched always anxious self (also because he knows too much of my secrets thanks to me being biased and a pathological overshare-r) if God ever made destiny to make another funny turn, i would've liked us to be an actual, functional, supportive friends. long live the friends!

Nietzsche is right about without forgetting it's quite impossible to live at all, but i digress. if you’ve watched Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind, you’ll know what i’m talking about; i guess at some point things just don't have any explanation (yet) of why it happens ever so, you just carry on with it. archiving it somewhere in a vault.

so. even though i know he will never read this... hey you, i just want to say i'm so grateful to have you as friend, though things don't always go smoothly. honored to have been graced by your presence in my life, though just for a limited time as it is. i hope you're always happy, healthy, and loved!

phew, i got super emotional. maybe because it's been two years, i can't believe i managed to stand for what is right this long! (and will continue to do so) i am here from all the things i've gone through :) yet another coldplay quote because i just love this band so much, and i think this song is my song. please read the lyrics as you listen to it, best feeling ever.

it's cathartic, a form of healing, alleviating, to put these, all my feelings, out in the open. this is what i live with and it is my life. i'm content with how everything is going and i think it's all settled now, all good. now full throttle focusing on the project, if things go my way, i'll tell you guys all about it on my July post. see you then! 💙

#alhamdulillah #bismillahirrahmanirrahim #good things are coming our way #:)

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Apr(ollercoaster)il

guys 🤣😭🙏🏻 i swear i did remember to do an April post on like, the first day of April but i got caught on with other things and procrastinate. i know, i only do that for stuffs of little to no account, but i swear x2 it's not because i abandoned you guys 😭🙏🏻 i'm so sorry!

also because now it's like, May 19th 00.01-ish and it is also Coldplay Jakarta general ticket sale in the morning (I KNOW I MISSED A LOT OF UPDATES i'll catch up on next May post 🤣🙏🏻) i'll just write a short April one because nothing much happened x4985345 with only two highlights: Eid Fitr and my cousin's engagement (+ another Bandung weekend trip!)

Eid Fitr marks the end of Ramadan and it was nice keeping in touch again with faraway families, i love gatherings (and the food, ha!) and the next week after it was the Bandung trip (also with me and the fam trying new restaurants heheh)

my favorite part of this April is probably my cousin's engagement. super happy she finally reached this milestone and i got to be her bridesmaid!!! yay to a second official bridesmaid. proud to report i'm doing actual bridesmaid stuffs (she emphasized the 'maid' part as to me literally being her shadow and getting all her needs during the event) but of course it was sooo much fun 💙 i will be returning to Bandung for her wedding day on August yay

p.s: remember the whole 'i have a project i can't let you guys on in'? somebody actually formulated a thought that it means i'm about to be engaged????? 😆🤣😆🤣 so, to avoid confusion... a statement from my PR managers (me & mum dad): i am not, but would love to meet a man (who qualified the necessary reqs of course) and actually be engaged lmao. i assure you when i said 'project' it's an actual project 😭

see you on May post and please for the love of god pray for me i can secure two My Universe package tickets today on 10 AM and i get to see Coldplay in Jakarta 11 days before my birthday this November. fingers crossed!!!!!!

#so nervous #yes Coldplay is really coming to Jakarta #and i will see them on my own land! #mark my words #bismillahirrahmanirrahim

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March for the future

hello!!! as always i'm late for the March post because it's already April 3rd! yay! also pls clap for the title/pun i just invented :) originally wanted to use 'March madness' but then realized i used it last year, so :-)

actually nothing much happening this March (see the obvious pattern of my quiet, drama free life?) and i'm really glad to be honest. the reason for the title is just that i'm still on the journey of doing something i can't disclose what yet (the same one i mentioned on Jan post) but it's been good/okay!

highlight for this March is definitely the start of Ramadan! favorite month of the year easily. my workload is lessened, loads of day-offs, and in general just the best time of the year. so glad to be able to spend even more time with my family, especially my mum and dad.

the more i get older the more i realize 'seemingly minuscule' privileges like having my parents as my main support system or coming from a middle to upper class family plays a veeery big role in determining my future. i'm not saying if you have best friends as support system instead or having less than upper income is bad or won't land you in a good place, it's just an observation on the mental/physical health outcomes i've seen from various start points.

i mean, ideally, regardless of other factors, parents should be a person's mast... to support the sails and lets the wind to propel the ship forward. they also should be the ones providing financial aids until the child has finally grown into an adult and can stand on their feet, stable and secure. in reality, it's not always the case, and this is heartbreaking. i salute the people who found solace and anchor still in their friends, or even in themselves.

i think this post might be yet another appreciation post for my parents because without their careful guidance i probably won't be writing this down. they literally shaped and mended my way of thinking and never for once their advice hasn't succeeded in helping me out of tight spots or extracting the life lesson out of every failure i went through. my mum and dad’s neverending supply of comfort. everything i need and it’s given without asking. i can tell absolutely everything and they will try to understand, no judgement whatsoever. it’s the transparency and willing to meet at the common ground between me and my parents that i will make sure i’ll do the same with my children. i’m the very definition of my parent's daughter through and through i guess hehe

my belief is that if you are one of the lucky ones with these privileges and boost, is to humbly acknowledge them and use it to its fullest potential... this is common sense i know but oh well. you've probably seen others do otherwise lol

again another point of reminded to not! sabotage! yourself! by making rushed decision and never settle for less. i think i'm kinda glad i overthink a lot and always take what i deserve for the hard work i did, it saves me 90% of the time! literally don't care whatever people say, if i don't value their presence/opinion then it's 100% possibility their words mean nothing to me.

might sound like a super villain on that last sentence but i genuinely do not care and i'm saying this not with awful intention or menace, but i just can't find time/space for things that do not matter. i have my own life to take care of, so why should i bother with others haha

but yes, as i quote from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore said, "indifference and neglect often do more damage than outright dislike." and i wholeheartedly agree. when you no longer appreciate and ignore someone's existence, it hurts the most. because when you spew hate, technically you still spent time and breath to do, so it's slightly ‘less painful’ in my opinion haha

so yep. but rest assured i'm not mean! just trying to live a drama free, happy life. it does reduce my stress level, so i suggest you do that too. don't think much of the people who don't deserve your time and headspace. will do you good, trust me.

anyways, happy Ramadan to my Muslim pals! see you in next month's post :)

#hehehehehe #don't know what to tag this time #i guess it's my selfcare era #:)

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February

does writing this on March 1st count as being late? well, never mind, the February recap post is here anyway! hello lads and lasses and friends all around, hoping everything is fine.

time is relative and goes by without you noticing, is it 2/12 of the year done already!? this month has been okay, not much happening, and the only highlight is the Bandung healing time!

it was just a two-days, two-nights trip, again just me and my mum (my sister insisted she didn't want to go, we suspected she wanted to see her boyfriend) accompanying my dad on yet another work trip. enormously grateful to my dad's office for providing prime hotels as a mean of getaways for us, for free hehehe. this time we got to visit Pullman Bandung Grand Central. one of my slightly not too mainstream hobby is reviewing hotel restaurants. i looove trying and tasting everything, breakfast time is my fav time while doing a staycation, i’d spent hours on the dining table just picking a lil bit of whatever’s on the menu. i made my parents go on Bandros bus (Bandung on tour bus) and we enjoyed lots of quality time together bonding over, yes you guessed it right, food! culinary trip is easily the best part of any trip. if you love Sundanese cuisines, try Bancakan! it's near Gasibu field, not far from the center of the city.

a hot take: Bandung would’ve been a better city than Jakarta if only they had an integrated public transportation system. Jakarta’s superior only because of its Transjakarta, MRT, and KRL lines (yes i love going on public transportation rides)

my mum and dad bought their second barista pro Breville coffee maker and somehow i’m supposed to be their designated barista now haha it’s so fun learning a lot about coffee origins (and how a gazillion of things affect their tastes), how to grind them, and how to steam milk properly.

also pretty monumental that Manchester United finally won a trophy after six years of winning nothing though it's just a small cup. it's a win nevertheless! i love seeing my club improving and the players actually enjoying it while they play. particularly love my fav boy ever Marcus Rashford being a star in every match. Mr Ten Hag we all owe you lots, let's get more victories!!!

F1 2023 season is starting next week and i can't help feeling a bit sad since Seb (and Mick, Dan Ric too!) is no longer on the grid... i literally started paying attention to f1 solely because of Seb, now that he's not there anymore it feels bland. i'm still on to support Lewis and Charles though, so it's all good (i guess)

Ramadan is approaching in less than a month and i'm super excited! just a little down that we won't be spending it with my grandma, but i'll make sure to dedicate prayers for her. i think of her every single day but these are the days where i miss her the most.

anyways. onward we go! see you on next post hihi

#Bandung is the best city in the world tbh #very much biased but idc #alhamdulillah

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2023!!!

phew, we made it into another new year, huh!? hello lads and lasses, hope you're all doing good out there.

it's January 2023 at last, and as always i'm late to post this one. oh well. it's a tradition now. (i swear i made sure i remember to put this one out on Jan 31, but i had lots of patients that day, so yeah) so, i owe you guys a few things to tell (and overshare) about!

first week of January i got to spend time with my cousins, including the Brisbane based one, and guess what good news she brought with her? she's getting married!!! 💗 remember the boyfriend that got through my inspection/test? yep that's the lucky guy! the timing is perfect, the engagement and wedding will be held at Bandung aka my favorite city ever in this world (purely for sentimental reasons, discounting the insane traffic), and i'm just so excited + happy! we didn't get to hold a sleepover because of time limits but we did spend a day to make eggnog, which turned out not that bad, and it was due to our mistake in using cooking cream instead of following the recipe with heavy cream 😂 in our defense, finding heavy cream isn't easy and it's pretty expensive!

mid January is just like how the time range described: it's pretty mid as in not much happened. it's proper rainy season now and i love it! i'm not bestfriends with the sun so some cloud awnings throughout the day is just my type of weather hehe

last week of January is marked with a friend's wedding trip with a couple of my friends! this is actually the first time i went on a journey to another city to attend a friend's wedding and to make it even better it's like an upgraded version of sleepover at the hotel. the city with the honor was Sukabumi, and everything there reminds me of my hometown Tasikmalaya (which is only two hours away) the wedding was on a Saturday so me and a friend took a travel minibus on Friday morning so we'll have time to rest a bit, explore the city and its culinary goodness. i guess spending quality time catching up with friends until late night is one of the best things you can do in this world??? we talked just about everything and my favorite topic is how we may have to face so many challenges on our path, but we strode on anyway, and here we are, experienced it all. proud is an understatement. then on d-day we ate even more food, met lots of people, all in all just having a great time together 🥺 sadly because of work we all had to go back to Jakarta right after the wedding. only spent 30 hours with each other but it feels like a week, it was lovely i didn't want it to end huhu

1/12 of 2023 done and the more i think about it the more i feel like i'm getting even more steady. i know this sounds a bit cryptic but context doesn't matter here anyway. my hypotheses one by one are proven correct and i'm glad i decided to trust time, time is indeed my best friend. missing puzzles have begun to resurface, i'm finally getting the answers i've been looking for for years, though just bits it still mean a lot to me. things are changing, progressing, and i hope it's all for the better. the best is yet to come! 💙

on another note, 2023 starting means i have one mission on going that i can't disclose here, but just needing you guys to wish me luck hehe. if i made it i'll tell all about it later 😁 see you on the next month's post!

#wow #it's 2023 already #how old am i?

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December

wow, i'm sooo good at procrastinating. hehe hi pals, hope you're all doing great! i swear i promised myself i'll write the Dec post on Dec 31st, 2022, but i managed to post this one on Jan 1st, 2023 :-) oh well.

don't blame me for spending quality time with my family and cousins for the new year's eve! i got distracted (again, for the 28648236th time) it was so fun, with my mum's guidance we cooked our favourite spicy Tom Yum, penne bolognese, and kimchi fried rice!!! yes, it was a Thai-Italian-Korean meals day kind of thing.

then as we count down the last hours of 2022 we did the family tradition: horror films marathon! this time we're exploring/rewatching Indonesian horror films. we got KKN Desa Penari, Pintu Terlarang, Modus Anomali, and then Pengabdi Setan 2. yes, in this house we love Joko Anwar's works.

in the last five minutes of 2022 we got up, stretched, went outside, and played with some firecrackers! purposely turned off the garden lights so it'd shone brighter. took photos and videos, then we went back inside. being in the middle of the city, on midnight the noise of fireworks shooting up to the sky was loud. it didn't stop for a whole fifteen minutes, but we enjoyed it: free entertainment!

sleep time yet? nope. it's indomie time!!! we watched a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother and Raven's Home for good ol' times' sake. had more talks, then at 3 AM we all went to bed. went without saying, we woke up pretty late today hehe.

i'm going backwards here because after that Dec 31st review, now let's talk about December in general. as usual, as predicted, it was a-ok month, just like any other month. i think the highlight that is the Labuan Bajo trip is already covered in the November post. on second week of December i had a scientific forum meeting and i got to see some of my Weekend Ceria besties! it was a bit of a funny coincidence that our little reunion was just a little bit over one year anniversary of our national dentist board exam day... though now each of us is so busy with our own work, it's getting super hard to find time for us to meet u___u

on last week of December my favorite Brisbane-based cousin came home to Indonesia for a three-weeks vacay! so happy to see her again and this time i get to meet her boyfriend (which after a lengthy session of interrogation i found is so nice and so in tune with me, so he passed my test haha) and we're planning a cousins sleepover this first week of January (will do write the story on the next post!) still kinda sad though because another favorite cousin of mine just moved to Frankfurt a few months back and he said he won't be coming back to Indonesia for approximately five years. the cherry on top is getting another cousin i haven't met in so long to join us in this little gathering!

overall this month i get to spend a lot of time with my family and cousins, which energized me to the fullest. 2022 has been nice to me and i'm so excited with what 2023 has to offer. i have no room in my life other than for these people, my loved ones, my immediate family. again and again i'm so grateful for my mum and dad, the solid rock and pillar and foundation of my life, that are always there for me, no matter what and when, in the most literal sense. late night talks with my mum and alone dates with my dad are my talisman, i carry their light, i have them with me wherever i go.

this year i'm so glad to finally know and learned which ones to keep, when to walk away, put healthy and respectable boundaries, to fight and try again, and to keep on going despite all. to finally know what i want and look for, and to never be sorry to save myself first. to do good and be good. to believe and trust time and Allah's plans, whatever is mine will find its way to me, sooner or later.

so, happy new year to you lot! wishing 2023 to bring us all only good things and happy days all year round. especially for you, the one and only you, over there across the world, just like how i've told you so many times over eighteen long years we've been best friends: i hope you're always happy, healthy, and loved.

#alhamdulillah #thanks 2022 #adios ciao adieu au revoir farewell auf wiedersehn #hello 2023 #let's play the game #and win it! YEAH #bismillahirrahmanirrahim