222outofservice

[222outofservice]

Burnt out.

Being burnt out is a fucking understatement. Im so fucking tired its unbeliveable, the way, these days seem to just drag on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnn. Im currently sitting in the nurses office while i type away with my complaints; the distance murmur of the teachers talking. My body is tired but my mind is racing, Maybe i need to get into a relatioship, Maybe with that one blond boy from my ex boyfriends band, i always prefered the drummer anyways. My wrist are cut and my legs are brusied, my make up is a mess and i feel less, and less. 

#complaining

[222outofservice]

“one more coffee”

Just one more coffee,

And it should be enough to get me through tthis fucking essay,

Just one more coffee,

Then i can get that validaton that i helplessly crave from my teachers, 

When i was smaller it was so easy, 

All i had to do was colour between the lines,

And correct myself and id get all the praise my little body could hold, 

Back when being myself was the greatest thing i could do,

Now i have to get straight a’s no matter how depressed i am, 

Now i have to keep a smile on my face whenever im around people,

I have to cover my wrists because i slit them on a daliy basis 

Keep the smile when i walk past him,

The person who is the reason why i cut myself,

The person who couldnt keep their fucking promise,

The person who said theyd be there forever,

Went and stuck his dick in another girl,

The person who i seeked validation from,

He left,

Like everyone,

Everyone i scraped the last bits of validaion,

Excpet my teachers,

Teachers, school, work, essay, 

The essay, the fucking essay, thats right,

Um 

Just one more coffee please. 

#coffee #original poem #poetry #sad

[222outofservice]

Walking corpse

The fact ive been dead for awhile kinda makes me think,

Sure, i go out with friends, smile, laugh, and everything you can think of that makes you “alive”, but i dont like leaving the house, i cant feel happy, i force my laugh, i feel dead. See i romantisize the “teenage dream” you know finding love at 16, high school partys, drinking underage and smoking, but i cant seem to find happiness in destroying my body, the movies make everything seem so happy, its like im a side charecter in my own life. Walking corpse seems to fit the discription of myself, i need to feell something, anything, i dont know if im depressed or if it puberty. Walking corpse is me, i am a Walking corpse. 

#deppresion #poetry #corpse

[222outofservice]

Small talk

Hey, its been awhile. 

Im sorry for not contacting you sooner,

I miss you, 

How have you been? 

We should meet up again soon, 

Sorry for texting you so late at night, 

I miss your voice, i miss your touch,

I drink now too,

The tatse of old rum burns my throat,

However its a delightful feeling. 

I know you dont like alcohol, 

Im sorry

It seems like i dissapoint everyone now, 

Text  me when you can,

I want to fix this.

pending

#poetry #smalltalk #pending #original poem #deppressed #missingyou #mental illness