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Twisted Wonderland - 2024 Player Birthday Login Greetings

The player birthday login greetings have just updated today on the JP server for the fourth anniversary, and I've translated them below.

These are sorted in order of dorm, and then alphabetically by character name.

Heartslabyul

Ace Trappola

❤️: 'Sup, Yuu! Happy bday. 'Kay, time for the party. I'm gonna swing by this one restaurant in town and pick us up some grub, so you wait here and- Hey, hey, I'm not trying to trick you! I do know how to celebrate birthdays, thank you very much.

Cater Diamond

♦️: Happy bday, Yuu-chan ☆ Didja post anything bday related yet on Magicam today? No? No problem, just leave it to me! I'm basically a Magicam pro at this point. I'll take the perfect pic, come up with the perfect hash tag… Just think of it as, like, the Caycay bday special~

Deuce Spade

♠️: Happy birthday, Yuu! I'm going to go buy your present now, so- …Huh? You're saying since I fixed up that light for you in Ramshackle the other day, I don't need to get you anything? Come on, don't say that. You're my friend, so let me do this for you. It'd make me a lot more happier than if I didn't get you anything, to be honest.

Riddle Rosehearts

🌹: Happy birthday, Yuu. Thank you so much for always looking after my students. Truth is, we'll be holding a salon at Heartslabyul this weekend, and as part of my well wishes to you, I'm going to have you join us. Ah, my apologies. I can see you're quite nervous, but you needn't worry - I'll be right there with you, and will instruct you in etiquette every step of the way.

Trey Clover

🍀: Happy birthday. Now about your gift… I did get you something, but it's, erm… When I was talking with the other students about your gift, one person would say to get you this, and then another'd say, no, get that, and after a lot of hemming and hawing I choose… this t-shirt. I don't even know anymore why I picked out this design, honestly… Ugh, if you could just go ahead and start laughing now, I'd appreciate it.

Savanaclaw

Jack Howl

🐺: Today's your birthday, right? You make any new goals for the year? What, you're gonna smoke me in class? Ha! That's the best joke I've heard in a while. But alright, I'll take you on. If you get a better grade than me on our next exam, I'll buy you something.

Leona Kingscholar

🦁: Yeah, yeah, happy birthday. …Why are you settin' up that chessboard? What, you've been takin' lessons just to beat me? An' lemme guess, now you're challengin' me to a match. You got guts - for a herbivore, at least. So whaddya gonna wager, then? Just "playin' to see who wins" ain't gonna cut it.

Ruggie Bucchi

🍩: Happy birthday! Yer dear ol' Ruggie Senpai whipped up just the perfect thing for ya. Ta-da! Yer very own fishin' pole! Handmade by yours truly. …Ooh, I know that look. I bet yer thinking', "ain't that just a piece a crap?" I'm tellin' ya, fish'll be linin' up to throw themselves at this thing soon as it hits the water! Listen, I know how much starvin' sucks, an' I can tell you know that, too. Next time yer stomach starts howlin' at ya, now you can just catch yerself somethin' to eat!

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto

🐙: I wish you a very happy birthday. Have you already decided what you'd like for a gift? I'd be glad to arrange-… My, what excellent taste! That would be quite the challenge for the average collector to acquire… but not for me, of course! I guarantee you'll have it in your hands before you even realize it.

Floyd Leech

🦈: Heya, Little Shrimpy. Today's your birthday, right? Here, I got something for ya. Let's see, we got some gummies that taste kinda funny, and some cookies…. they're hard as rocks, though. Oh, and some mushy jerky, too. Super cool, huh? Oh yeah, and all this stuff expires today, by the way. You better not let any of it go to waste, since it's a gift an' all. Kay?

Jade Leech

🐬: My warmest wishes to you on your birthday. May this be another fruitful year for you. By the way, Yuu-san, have you already had lunch today? You haven't? Excellent, for I was hoping to prepare something for you. Worry not, I can assure you I have only the utmost best of intentions in mind. Heh heh.

Scarabia

Jamil Viper

🐍: Yuu, happy birthday. I know it's not much, but I got you this. Ramshackle's been around for so long I can't even begin to imagine how many insects have made it their home over the years. But if you use that product, you can wipe them all out in a blink of an eye. I can personally vouch for how well it works, so do go ahead and give it try. Sooner rather than later, please.

Kalim Al Asim

☀️: Yuu, happy birthday! Here's your gift… Ah ha ha! Were you surprised? I made you that pop-up card. There's these flowers we give to people on their birthdays back home in Scalding Sands, so I tried making a bunch of them with paper. Turned out pretty good, right? Nice and flashy.

Pomefiore

Epel Felmier

🍎: Happy birthday! I thought long and hard about what to get you, and ended up going with a pair of fingerless gloves! The design on em's just great, don't you think? I thought they'd be a good choice since you can still use your phone and stuff without them getting in the way. They already look super cool, and once you break them in, then they'll really start to shine. Wear them whenever you can, okay?

Rook Hunt

🏹: I've been waiting for you, Trickster, so that I might give you my birthday well wishes. A wonderful day calls for making wonderful memories, and to that end, I've constructed the perfect itinerary for us. We'll start off with two theater performances, followed by a live poetry recital, and then we'll wrap things up with a movie this evening. There shan't be a dull moment today. Now come! The theater awaits!

Vil Schoenheit

👑: Happy birthday, Yuu. …Hm? You'd like me to come to your party? And you you even went and made sure there'll be healthy food options available for me? …Hah, that's quite thoughtful of you. Very well, then. I'll stop by. Just don't forget - you should consider it an honor to receive my well wishes.

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud

💀: Okay, time to pretend we're all chummy with each other and spout the usual "HaPpY BiRtHdAy" garbage… Eep! D-did you hear all that? U-Umm… Happy birthday... Sorry, but I didn't get you anything. I didn't even know it was your bday, so… What, you're happy just 'cause I wished you happy birthday? Are you serious? *sigh* Okay, I'll order something online later and have it sent to Ramshackle. It's just gonna be something small, tho.

Ortho Shroud

🤖: Happy birthday! Here's your gift. Go ahead, open it! Heh heh, did you notice what's on it? I used my lasers to engrave "Happy Birthday!" and some other well wishes on that glass tumbler. It was difficult controlling the output when doing the finer details, but I think it came out pretty nice. I hope you like it!

Diasomnia

Lilia Vanrouge

🦇: Ah, that's right. Today's your birthday, isn't it? Goodness, kids really do grow up so fast… Kufufu. Oh, don't be so sour. I was just doing my grandpa bit, the boys at the dorm never indulge me. Now then, here's your present: a CD I made just for you! It's jam-packed with my most heartfelt screamo performances, and I hope you enjoy every second of it.

Malleus Draconia

🐲: It's your birthday today, isn't it, Child of Man? …? What's the matter? Your face looks awfully stern… Ah, now I understand. You're having trouble carrying around all those presents. Here, allow me to send them to Ramshackle for you using my magic. You needn't worry, it's but a trivial spell for me. Now then, I hope you enjoy today to the fullest.

Sebek Zigvolt

⚡: Today is your birthday, if I do recall… What? You wish for me to attend your party? What a boorish joke. I've no time to take part in such a… What? THE YOUNG LORD SHALL BE ATTENDING!? YOU SHOULD'VE MENTIONED THAT TO BEGIN WITH! Good grief… You truly are an unpleasant little human, you know that? Now then, tell me at once where the party shall be held, and at what time!

Silver

⚔️: Happy birthday. Hm? You want to know what this cord is? It's actually your present. I heard about this from Lilia Senpai, but… apparently, they say that if you wrap some string around your wrist or ankle, and it breaks over time, then your wish will come true. I wove this for you, so that your wish can come true some day. I know it's pretty crude looking, but please go ahead and take it, if you'd like.

Ramshackle

😺: Today's your birthday? Happy birthday! …Huh? Where's your present? Oh, come oooon. You're my number one henchman! Ain't that a present enough? Okay, fine. Your knees are always super hard when I sit on 'em, so I'll give 'em a good ol' paw pad massage!

(Crowley and Rollo's messages remain unchanged)

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0zeizei · 2 months

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🌸ortho for miku day

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playing with savanaclaw manga style

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POV: You're Yuu and Malleus would like to invite you for a night stroll

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doodling the shrouds fam cause i love them

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Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss – Chapter 7 (Part 2)

Following is part 2 of my translation of Chapter 7 of Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss. This part contains Episode 7-107 to 7-111.

Main storyline spoilers after the cut.

Episode 7-107

Ortho: Pretty much our only option is to try and convince Malleus-san to bring down the domain himself and let everybody go. 'Cause if you destroy a server, you'll just end up destroying all the data its got inside it, too. How about we do something like go up to the barrier and shout, "Hey, Malleus-san! You're making your grandma cry over here!!" You know, like they do in those old crime dramas.

Chief: …We'll certainly reach out to Queen Maleficia, at any rate.

Head Engineer: I wish it were as simple as just getting an overblotter's family member to talk them out of it, honey. Then Styx wouldn't always have so much trouble on our hands.

Ortho: So what, are you guys saying we should give up?

Head Engineer: Now, now, Or-kun. Did you forget what you just said?

Ortho: Huh? What do you- You mean when I was talking about trying to convince Malleus to let everybody go?

Head Engineer: Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!

Ortho: But mom, you said so yourself, it's not as simple as just talking an overblotter out of it.

Head Engineer: As long as you've got even the slightest chance of success, it's worth a try. Besides… I've already thought of a different approach.

Ortho: A different approach?

Head Engineer: Here, can you tell me what this is, Or-kun?

Ortho: Hm? That's a video of… big brother!? Where'd you even get this from? Waaaait a second… That's weird. Where's my maintenance dock? We kept it in big brother's room even after I enrolled and moved into my own room… No way, is this a video of…!?

Head Engineer: That's right. This is a live feed, direct from Idia's dream.

Ortho: Whaaaaaat!??

Head Engineer: Finding a back door's a cinch as long as you understand the source code. And that goes for magical domains, too! And now that we're inside… We can make contact with all the dreamers without Malleus finding out.

Ortho: I-I mean, I understand what you're saying, but still… That's crazy. It feels like I blinked and you already analyzed the domain and even figured out the address for big brother's dream.

Head Engineer: Heh heh! So what do you think? This is the power of human innovation right here! Just you watch, I'm going to dig up each and every address and make my own admin system right under his nose! Hehhehehe….!

Chief: She's been like this ever since she went through the logs of your fight with Malleus… She's even got the data processing and engineering departments going into over drive.

Ortho: Gotcha. She's probably got a grudge against Malleus for saying her tech was pathetic. Heh, sounds like something mom would do. She and big brother really are a lot alike… But I'm glad.

Chief: About what?

Ortho: Big brother looks like he's having a lot of fun in his dream. I know it sounds weird, but I'm just glad to see him so happy.

Chief: I see. Yes, I understand how you feel.

Episode 7-108

Head Engineer: Anyways, it looks like everybody on that island is having the same kind of nice, pleasant dreams as your big brother. Everyone's fast asleep, getting lots of good rest while they're dreaming… Their magic and strength reserves must be all topped up by now, and that's why I'm thinking they're probably going to get bored of these dreams pretty soon. …Well, maybe.

Ortho: So this different approach you were talking about, it's… We're going to make contact with the dreamers and have them take care of Malleus-san for us!?

Head Engineer: Correct! If we can't do anything out here, our only choice is to fight him from the inside!

Ortho: Whaaaat!? No way, that'll never… Wait, but maybe… If we can make contact with the dreamers, then maybe this really will work. If you give up before you even try, your probability of success will be stuck at zero forever. Even if you have a 0.001% probability at succeeding, at long as it's not a zero, then you've got a chance to take that 0.001% and transform it into a one hundred. So there's no reason not to give it a shot. Okay, let's do this. I'll dive into the magical circuitry, enter big brother's dream, and…

Head Engineer: Hang on there, Or-kun.

Ortho: What's the matter? I'm just going to make contact with big brother, that's all. It's not like it's going to be dangerous or anything…

Chief: I'll take over from here, head engineer. We do have one major concern about your making contact with Idia.

Ortho: What?

Chief: Your brother might reject the truth- …he might reject you.

Ortho: …!

Chief: You noticed how your maintenance dock was gone from his room, remember? I'm sure you understand perfectly well what all that implies. You might just end up getting hurt very badly again, Ortho.

Ortho: …

Chief: We're going to reach out to some psychological experts so we can explain the situation as calmly as possible to him, without anyone having to get hurt-

Ortho: You don't have to worry.

Chief / Head Engineer: Huh?

Ortho: I know my big brother. I know as soon as he sees me he'll go, like, "OMG this bishounen humanoid inside my computer is asking me for help?!? Wait, don't tell me what happens next, I've seen this same thing play out like a billion times before in my light novels!! The time's finally come, right!? I'm finally going to become the chosen one!!?"

Chief: Erm, I'm not sure he'd say all… that…

Head Engineer: Honestly, I can see it.

Ortho: Well, regardless how he reacts, I know big brother will listen to us. He's Idia Shroud, the mad genius raised by the chief and head engineer of Styx, remember? Instead of trying to be amicable here and taking the long way around, I say we take a shortcut, instead!

Episode 7-109

Gloomurai: dude you killed it today

Gloomurai: lets hit up that new tundra map tomorrow~

Gloomurai: k im gonna bounce. ggs!

Idia: Maaan, that dungeon raid today was just… The drop rate was friggin' insane!!! I might be able to max out the armor for both my main and my sub-job now. Come to think of it, I also got three event SSRs in a row for my oshi this week, too… Uh-oh, now I'm getting a bad feeling about this. I'm never this lucky… Just watch, all my stuff's gonna crash so hard tomorrow I won't even be able to recover any of my data.

(Idia gets an incoming call on his PC)

Idia: Huh? Ortho's trying to face time me? Wonder why he's calling my online game account, that's weird. Wait, does Ortho even know about my Gloomurai account? And why can't he just call my phone? …Whatever.

(Idia accepts the call)

Idia: Hey, what's up? You need help with a game or something?

Ortho: Hi, big brother. How are you?

Idia: O-Ortho!? W-What's going on!?? I never knew you were into cosplay!?! Dude, that's like a god-tier setup, I can't process all this-… Wait, did you just call me big brother?

Ortho: You and I haven't met before. At least, not in this world. My name is Ortho. I'm a magical humanoid - an autonomous AI made by you.

Idia: …A magical what now?

Episode 7-110

Ortho: You and me haven't met before. At least, not in this world. My name is Ortho. I'm a magical humanoid - an autonomous AI made by you.

Idia: …A magical what now? O-Ooooh, okay, okay, I get it. You're just using an avatar, aren't you? Man, you nearly gave me a heartattack there. I see you went for the cool bishounen look.

Ortho: *sigh* I guess it's going to take some time for you to awaken…

Idia: Wait, what? Awaken? What…?

Ortho: It's okay, I don't blame you. I'm sure you've got a great life going on in there, don't you?

Idia: Umm, you're losing me here, my guy. Is this about some new anime or something?

Ortho: You need to listen to me. You've already realized there's something "off" about this world, haven't you? So I'll get straight to the point: I need you to help me save the world, Idia Shroud!

Idia: ….!! OMG this bishounen humanoid inside my computer is asking me for help?!? Wait, don't tell me what happens next, I've seen this same thing play out like a billion times before in my light novels!! The time's finally come, right!? I'm finally going to become the chosen one!!?

Ortho: BWAHAHA-!!! I mean! Ahem. That's right, big brother. The time has come. It's time for you to awaken from this dream!

Idia: Dream…? Augh!?

(The room starts to warp)

Idia: Humanoid… big brother… Ortho… No, that's all wrong! My little brother is… A-Auugh! My head feels like it's about to explode…! Ortho goes to Royal Sword Academy… No he…! He goes to Night Raven College with me…. My little brother… On that day, my little brother-…!

(Idia's phone starts to ring)

Idia: Ortho's calling me…!? Shit, my head…!

Ortho?: Big bro!? He's trying to trick you! He's a phoney, he's not real!

Idia: A-A phoney!? …Augh!! Where are all these… memories coming from…!?

Ortho?: That phoney's trying to brainwash you, big bro! Don't listen to him!

Ortho: Argh, I knew this spell would have some sort of countermeasures built into it. Looks like the NPCs are programmed to stop any dreamers when they try and wake up. That kind of autonomous magic is really high-level stuff… Guess there's a good reason Malleus-san is considered one of the top five mages in the world!

Ortho?: You wait right there for me, okay? I'm coming!

(The Darkness appears)

Ortho: W-What's all that black mushy stuff!? Oh no, is it.. Is it blot!?

Ortho?: Sorry I kept you waiting, big brother. I'm here. Everything will be okay now.

Idia: Or…Ortho?

Episode 7-111

Ortho: Don't tell me, big brother thinks that black gunk is "Ortho"? Get away from that thing, big brother! Run!!

Ortho?: It's okay now, big bro. You're just tired from playing video games for too long, that's all. Come over here and rest for a while.

Idia: U-ugh… O-Okay..

Ortho: Crap, he can't hear me anymore. Big brother run away! Get away from theeeeeere!!!

Idia: …Huh!? Why… Why am I wearing my ceremonial robes? And why am I in the courtyard?

???: Is that you, Shroud?

Idia: Eep!

Malleus: So it was you. …What ever is the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Idia: M-Malleus-Shi… why are you here?

Malleus: Why…? Orientation's just about to start, isn't it?

Idia: O-Orientation?

Malleus: …Heh. Are you still half-asleep? You remind me of Silver, a student from my dorm.

Idia: Hold up… Orientation…? That was months ago…

Malleus: What do you mean? This is the first time you'll be attending orientation as a dorm warden.

Idia: U-Uhhh… Really?

Malleus: You're a strange one, you know that? Come, and let us make our way to the mirror chamber. It won't do for two wardens - and two third years at that - to arrive late.

Idia: Man, it feels like I'm forgetting something suuuper important right now… Whatever.

(something thuds in the distance)

Malleus / Idia: !?

Idia: There's a bright light in the sky… The heck is that… I-Is it a meteor!? Uhhh, doesn't it look like it's coming straight for us!? It's coming straight for us, right!??

Malleus: …What on earth is it? I don't… I don't know what it is.

Idia: Dude, why aren't you freaking out right now!? We need to RUN!! It's gonna be game over if that thing hits us. N-No, it's too late!! I need to put up a forcefield-! Uwaaaaa!!

(Something crashes into the ground)

Idia: PLEASE tell me my dead man switch fired and deleted all my shit, please, please, please… Wait.. I'm… alive?

???: Life force resonance tracking was a success. The target has been located.

Ortho: Sorry I took so long to get here, big brother!

Idia: W-Who the heck are you!? Ah! That's the Styx emblem! Are you a new power suit model that mom made? But why are you calling me big brother…?

Ortho: I'll explain later. Now get behind me! There's a scary guy glaring at us.

Malleus: What is the meaning of this, Little Shroud? You are not meant to exist within this dream. Just how did you weasel your way in here?

Ortho: Heh. Don't you remember what you told me, Malleus Draconia-san? You said I'm like a ghost. And a ghost doesn't need any reason to be able to move between dimensions and spacetime, now does it?

Malleus: Heh… Ah ha ha ha! You have my praise, for being able to astound me twice now. However, for you to have the gall to tread not once, but twice into my castle without my permission… You are brazen beyond belief, you little automaton! Stand back, you fools!

Part 1

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0zeizei · 2 months

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I need to bathe in holy water for what I'm feeling towards overblot Malleus... That god damned seductive voice... What the fuck... I feel like he could strangle me and I'd say thank you.

It's so hard to translate Book 7. IT'S SO HARD. Because I keep getting distracted by overblot Malleus and I can't tap next BECAUSE I WANT TO STARE AT HIM. I GET DAZED. I FEEL. INCREDIBLY. *****

He keeps saying mean, unhinged, evil, insane things. BUT IN A POETIC, BEAUTIFULLY TOXIC WAY. HE'S TOXIC. HE'S BEAUTIFUL. HE'S SEXY. OH MY GOD. HE'D SAY HE WANTS TO KILL YOU. YOU'D ANSWER FUCK YES.

I'm cursed... I'm cursed...

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Ortho: "What if I tried calling out from outside his domain with "Mr. Malleus! Your grandma is very sad with you! She's crying!" Just like those old dramas."

OMFG I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THIS I NEEDED TO SHARE IT IMMEDIATELY DSAKDAKLASD

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0zeizei · 2 months

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Book 7, Chapter 7, Episode 101:

So the DiaRamshackle squad landed in Ignihyde, where they meet the completely aware Idia. They had thought they got out of a dream into the "real world", but it turns out they're just outside of Lilia's dream but still within Malleus' magical domain expansion-- which is Idia's "dream" now. Proof of this is because Sebek's still wearing his armor.

At this point in time, apparently they haven't really conversed with Idia yet. Sebek barely remembers that Idia's the Ignihyde housewarden LOL.

Sebek: "... That's right! I knew I've seen that face before. You're Ignihyde's housewarden! Back at the entrance ceremony, you attended in some sort of board-like thing. This might be the first time I've seen you in proper form."

Sebek: "I am from Diasomnia, First Year, Class D, Seat 33, Sebek Zigvolt!!" WHY IS HE SO ENTHUSIASTIC LMAO

Sebek: "This dopey man right here is Silver. Second Year, from the same dormitory!!" (DOPEY DSJKNDAS HE'S BASICALLY SAYING HE LOOKS HIGH LMAO)

Idia: "Are Malleus and co.'s ears still fine from being blasted by this boombox everyday at close-range..."

Silver: "Everyone, on alert! Idia-senpai, Grim, prefect, get behind me and Sebek!"

AND SO SUDDENLY THEY'RE GETTING ATTACKED??

Idia: "Wuh?! What's this all of a sudden?! Ow, ow! I'm getting crushed between hard muscles and hard armor!"

IDIA????? IS THIS THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE TO BE COMMENTING ON MUSCLES OMFG LMAO

So the "darkness" have come for Idia because they sensed that someone needs to be lulled back to sleep lol.

Grim: "Malleus might pop up again to say "You're awake?"..!"

Sebek: "The "darkness" are fine, though I do not know if we can win against Lord Malleus without Sir Lilia..."

"No, we are ready!"

Sebek: "Whether it be the darkness, or Lord Malleus... We will definitely strike back!!!"

Idia: "Uogh... Wai-- too close... Can't... breathe..!"

HE'S LITERALLY SHAKING BACK AND FORTH HELP

AND THEN SUDDENLY SOMEONE SPEAKS!

???: "About Malleus and the dark shadows... You don't need to worry about them for a while. I think he's spending considerable "resources" trying to get Lilia Vanrouge back to sleep."

Ortho: "Hehe, sorry for making you worry."

Apparently, Ortho's appearing in monitor mode for now because trying to appear as his usual form in Idia's dreams causes some serious errors.

Ortho: "Anyway... Everyone, brother's face is already turning blue from asphyxiation. Can you let him go now?"

So the two let go of him and Idia let's in a HUGE GASP FOR AIR

Idia: "ohh I almost descended to the underworld... Tha-thanks for the save, Ortho..."

So anyway, Sebek starts questioning the two what they mean by Malleus using up resources to put Lilia to sleep. Ortho starts the explanation by recounting events. That during Lilia's farewell party, Malleus put everyone to sleep-- no, froze time and space itself. But Ortho in particular managed to escape from the island through communications satellite. Everyone was shocked because Ortho could do something like that?! Ortho just laughs and says his "peculiarity" was helpful, because while he's not a mage and therefore cannot have a unique magic, he can transmit his "soul" through radio waves.

Sebek: "Loathe as I am to admit... but human advancement in machinery is amazing."

Silver chimes in and praises that Ortho's uniqueness is something they can never attain no matter how hard they train. Ortho moves on, explaining that he went to STYX headquarters and there, they hatched the plan for Ortho to infiltrate Sage Island in order to analyze Malleus' unique magic, Fae of Maleficence.

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