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yelling-space · 28 days
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CELESTE APPRECIATION post
I raerly see anyone mention her but i love her sm yes this is mostly like 98% hc shes only got like 5 lines in hole game what more do u want from me
anyways, my sweet sweet barely domesticated celeste :
-"Why did my husband come back with a child ,a dog ,a living skeleton, a man who can throw him around like he weights nothing and a knight(derogatory)" -Cahara's so wiped 4 her and honesty i would to if that was my wife, she def pegs him 2 btw i mean just look at him, my point exactly.
-gets along with Enki the most 2 everyone's surprise, there paper wight besties. & share a worrie for Cahara they will never verbalise as well a dislike for D'arc- i mean knights.
-celeste is d'arces first (and only) female friend, much to clestes own dismay.
-d'arce thought she was a gold digger at first, as you can tell they had a grate first impression of each other
-only trusts people about as far as she can throw them (rip rag , he can still man handle the group whore with ease tho so good for him)
-can not hold a convo with a child 2 save her life , the length of her mertanl intents extend to bringing the child 2 Cahara .
-she is not mother material but for some reason they're trying to keep a baby with a high infant mortality rate its funny
i think celeste probably didn't have great parents or a good role model, deadbeat drunkard parents that kicked her out and kind of left her to fend for herself & close of to the world and that's why she has such a disillusioned take on parenthood + where her own approach to children comes from but uh oh !! cahara wormed his way into her heart ! and who's to say his clear and utter devotion to this little girl cant win her over either i dont think either her or Cahara were going out of their way to get pregnant - it's like an unfortunate by-product of the nature of Celeste's career, and Cahara's love for her being what led to him being so willing to step up. i don't think either of them ever really thought about having kids, or at least didn't think they'd be good parents, but celeste getting pregnant or cahara bringing back a child is just the way life ended up going. it's the renaissance era, abortion methods are on par with childbirth in terms of deadliness anyway. she's just not going to have to keep risking her life via pregnancy if cahara goes out, gets enough coin to support them both, she's not going to be like every other peasant woman who's forced to become a broodmare because every 1 in 2 children fucking die before they turn 5. clesest being pregnant is just what ended up happening. the love in that is to do with their RELATIONSHIP, not their love for some idealistic family life. i think cahara wanting to give it a try is something celeste would think is really sweet and admirable, but she'd probly keep a lot of her more cynical thoughts to herself on the matter.
saying that i think they both have a lot of cynical thoughts about it really, but i cahara goes so quickly into "this is my wife, this is our future baby" because otherwise what's the point in taking on such a risky mission in the first place ? but if he's got a noble cause, then it might seem worth it, right ? it's that extra push of encouragement for him, even if it comes with a lot of scary things like the responsibility, being a parent, maybe settling down witch is a scary thought for someone whos always so used 2 being on the move
as for celeste ; she doesn't even know if she's going to make it through the pregnancy, or if the baby will. it's just another mouth to feed at the end of the day. she doesn't care about carrying on a legacy, or raising a child into greatness like so many others beg and plead of god to bestow upon their children. she knows she'd be a shit mom and she's hardly a loyal partner at the moment. but she loves cahara, and seeing that fear in his eyes when she told him, but also that spark of light, that little bit of joy, made it at least worth holding on for.
celeste: it's probably not going to make it anyway, i either risk death in childbirth or death in abortion methods, so. celeste: its getting me enough bank rn to keep myself healthy so we'll just see what happens i guess celeste watching cahara bring home an entire child:
okay cringe time over. i wont go into 2much detail about her relationship with the others though i think its a very slow process of her learning to tolerate get along with the creatures friends cahara brought back -as soon as celeste meets d'arce her mild suspicion and distaste for ragnvaldr will be replaced with her disgust for d'arce -think celeste would be pissed she wouldn't be able 2 pull cahara out of ragnvaldrs grip unless she stabbed him or something, witch shes both angry about it but also relieved since it probably kept cahara out of trouble in the dungeon (because lord knows her husband is a magnet for trouble) inside me there are 2 wolfs ; one is mmm hot stong wife carry cahara like a sack of pataos , the other is screaming at me that this is the 1600 and she would be starving and poor. so to compromise with myself im going 2 say : - physical speaking celsest is probly stronger then most women in her profession and could probly drag an unconscious cahara around then againg i also think cahras way ligher then someone of his build&carear should be shes stronger then enki (then againg who isnt) but cant match d'arces physical strength. saying that modern au Celeste would beat d'arce in an arm wrestle.
in-refence 2 my last post; celest is a child darkness, she has a barbie killer husband,there for. she deserves to be as much hater as she likes d'arce: you two are the healthiest couple i know who still have an avid sex life cahara: ASSUMPTIONS ! celeste: we're the only couple you know.
acholic wise i think celeste could out drink d'arce (and at least keep up with ragnvaldr for a little bit)
celeste: d'arce is a pain in the ass cahara: :confustion: :stress_smile: she means well babe cmon celeste: im gonna beat her with a stick cahara: ,, babe,,
cleseste is not payed enough 2 be d'arces therpist or help d'arce figure out she likes women (shes not payed at all actuly,she is simply trying 2 tolrate her husbands new freinds becuse she loves him but also only has so meny braincells she can lose in a day and conversing with d'arce seems 2 kill all of them)
celeste hears d'arce talk about jeanne once and instantly starts going "wow you loved a girl wow that girl who was like you in every way wow that girl who like. shared your morals. or something. wow tell me more about that girl" (stab stab stab metaphorically stab stab stab)
(about cahara getting arrsed and taken by the police) rag: you lack of concern,,, concerns me. are you not worried ? celeste: dogs always find their way back home.
- d'arce and cahara make the same enamoured and light-blush expression whenever celeste rages btw - celeste :handshake: enki taking the piss out of knights + a generally more cynical outlook on life & being cold bitches that secretly care about cahara a lot
(first time they all stayed the night) enki learning hes the favorite for once and he thinks its just the most hilarious thing to fucking happen local woman-lover put out by being rejected by hot scary wife, local berserker intimidated by what scary wife might do if she finds out what he did to her precious boytoy local shadow wizard ? on the floor ugly laughing because scary wife reluctantly asked if he wanted the guest bedroom.
celeste: YOURE NOT STAYING HERE PERMANENTLY. but youre allowed to stay overnight. enki: is this (gags) kindness ? oh my god. revolting. celeste: is that a yes or not you fucking worm enki: yesplease
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yelling-space · 2 months
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were pretending i didnt get locked out my tumbler acc for like 3 months hello u didnt see shit shhh
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yelling-space · 2 months
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Children of light/darkness
it wouldn't let me change the txt 2 black so enkis pink cuz i hate him
Couldnt stop thinking about that one stupid throw away line in fagcats monologuing so i decided to apply it to the rest of the gang becuse i can 4 context i'm going to assume the ratio of children of light:darkness is similar to that a 1:45 type thing. (includes a few hcs.)
  — "Living humans are divided into two groups, yes? There are children of light. Those destined to walk under the bright sun. Those people do well in all hardships of life. They have dear humans who they want to return to. Even in the darkest hour, they can feel the warmth of their loved ones in their heart and gain extra courage from that.” - Pocketcat
Obviously The Girl is a child of light since it’s stated in-game by the New Gods. A pure child, a blank slate birthed from the darkest pits of human creation. The literal embodiment of fear and hunger, a small light shrouded in darkness without even a glimmer of hope. A child who's been robbed of love;the first kind gesture she ever received was being freed from a cage by a man who smiled at her like she wasn't a horrific monster. Yet despite all her hesitation she slowly finds herself gaining comfort in his presence, enough to scrounge a little closer and find herself enjoying the sound his voice,a man that never stop talking even tho she doesn't speak back, doesn't quite understand why he shares his food with her yet gobbles it down before he can try taking it back the second she realises its safe to eat. And then he gifts her the doll. And she's not really sure what to do or what all these overwhelming feelings inside are but the raggedy thing never leaves her side as she trails him like a moth to flame.
Cahara's a child of light, he burns slow and soft. A little flicker of light in the darkness that'll last in the wind because it has the fuel to keep going and can light up other people. He’s a people person, a social butterfly who people are drawn to and ends up making connections wherever he goes. Despite everything he's been through and all the horrors and harsh realities of life he's faced, he's still able to find joy and a love for life. Quite literally one the only thing holding the group together and reason half these people even start to tolerate each other.
“Hooo~ you do? This is the most surprising! I feel like so many people lose the sight of happiness once they grow out of their naive little views of the world they had as younglings. But perhaps it is possible to feel like that, even as someone as old as you.” - Pocketcat
Ragnvaldr’s a child light. He burns bright and fast like a strip of magnesium, his light comes in bursts. Rage comes as quick as it goes and isn't a reliable source of fuel but shines so bright when it burns it almost hurts to witness.
His light’s too hot to get close to when he's burning, and therefore it doesn't get 'shared' before it's gone unlike Cahara’s who serves to light others over coaxing his own flame. Yet despite losing his family he still carries the love his people held for him in his heart, letting it fuel his fire even though he knows he'll never be able to return to them. Yet despite losing his family, Ragnvaldr still carries their memories alive in his heart and never loses sight of the happiness that was robbed from him so instead he keeps their spirits close while he seeks vengeance.
It's for that same reason The Girl and Ragnvaldr are both attracted to and seek out light despite being lights of their own. They both require others to fuel their flame and keep them afloat vs someone whose light is soft and nurturing more like Cahara’s, whose light draws others towards him. Is bright enough to warm your hands in the midst of a cold winter’s storm yet too weak to spark the light of rebellion and bring about change in the world.
 “In the opposite end of the spectrum, there are children of darkness. Those humans are often driven to depression and sorrow because of life's peculiar ways.But they have learned how to live with those feelings. In fact, they have grown to love the ever-pressing darkness within. Those humans are able to draw energy from darkness, they are not dependent on other people. They only need darkness, their old friend.So, humans of light and darkness... Which one are you?” - Pocketcat
It's how D'arce can be born with a silver spoon in her mouth and want for nothing as she gets older, pursuing what she thinks is her dream, leaving behind her luxurious life and continuing to strive higher and higher for her 'goals' – only to constantly be miserable despite it all. No matter what she gains or what she gives up, just never being satisfied, feeling like she's stagnating and making nothing herself despite all the accolades and medals and milestones she's achieved.
It's the same reason Enki can be born in darkness, wanting nothing more then the endless pursuit of knowledge – forced to eat his younger siblings, forced to claw his way out of a well, forced to eat bugs in order to survive, forced to backstab his twin sister, only ever finding twisted satisfaction in a rare moment of joy when he burns his family and the place he once called home into ash – feels so comfortable drowned in misery.
They’re both on completely different ends the moral and social spectrum, yet they both closed off their hearts to the world and poured themselves into their own goals. A way to close off their feelings and shut away from the rest of the world. They both just sorta look at Cahara and Ragnvaldr smiling, laughing and simply ,,,,enjoying existing in each other's company. And they just kinda stare in disbelief at this light in front of them, almost unable to actually believe what they're actually seeing, let alone comprehend how they're even able to exist so freely in a place like this. It doesn't make sense. They're all trapped in this horrific hellscape of a dungeon with strangers they've never met, barely surviving the passing hours with their mess of skill sets and feeble attempts to hold onto whatever draining sense of morality and justice they had before coming down here. And yet these two are smiling and cracking jokes. Talking like they'd been friends for years even though they barely know each other. they just seem so ,,, so,,, bright. no matter how much Enki and D’arce become familiar with the sight, they feel like they're intruding on something; they shouldn't be allowed to see this. 
It's something they've already come to terms within their own lives, after all. It's a feeling people like them don't need. They don't deserve it. Yet. something about the sight is just so warm and comforting they can’t quite bring themselves to tear their eyes from it. 
“Since you were a child of darkness, I imagine you agree when I say that we don't get the luxury of happiness.We only know brief joy every now and then, but even that is getting more rare every day.” - Pocketcat
Considering how both Enki and Ragnvaldr kinda blur the line a bit when it comes to their actions and motives; how Ragnvaldr can be argued to go 'darker' while enki goes 'lighter' despite their soul compositions (in my amazing  awful timeline of events at least.)
It’s how D'arce, a knight of one the most prestigious and well respected groups in the kingdom, borne of nobility, who grew up comfortably, never having to scrape by is constantly shaped in misery and loneliness, can never truly happy no matter how high she climbs in the world vs Cahara having known nothing but constant suffering and struggles, is still able to be happy and smile with people he cares for and find people that love him despite their line of work or less than fortunate situation. He's able to befriend people in every corner of the world he travels to; there's people who care for him and want to be around him. Even though he's experienced the hardship of life first hand he's still able to look at the world with just so much love for life and she just doesn't get how. D’arce just mystified by watching the fact that two men she knows, born into poverty or into nothing at all, scraping by, living minimal, nomadic, no stable environment or home - for Cahara, nobody to call his own until adulthood - just completely shocked by the fact that they can both smile, joke and seem to be just. happy. content with what they've managed to make for themselves.
And it's not as if D'arce hasnt made anything of herself; she’s clearly put in a lot of effort to get to where she is even if she came from an advantageous background, she had family, she had friends (singular, Le'garde, so maybe ok not even 1 friend but shhh),,, has no idea what she did wrong or what she's doing wrong to continue being so miserable in life.
They all have blood on their hands but she’s yet to realise the cause of it is what makes them different from each other.
Doesn't get how Cahara can sit there and joke about the other ways he made cash to get by when he was younger with a smile on his face. Or how Ragnvalder can sit there and laugh at Cahara horrible jokes after losing everything he’s ever held dear. The way they can chatter on about nothing for hours at a time or talk about their partners with just so much love in their voices knowing they'll probably never see them again. (Maybe even wondering if someone will ever talk about her like that with just so much shear adoration in their voice and this ‘swept off their feet’ look in their eyes, but also i can see that not even crossing her mind at the same time )
Enki and D’arce just sat there a lil bewildered watching the first people they've ever seen be genuinely happy in their lives even though they have almost nothing to their name, have lost everything and yet they can still smile and laugh with each other in a place like this???
They are just so confused by rag&cahara’s chemistry because they themselves don't know how to utilise humour and light-heartedness as ways to cope with the tragedy in their lives, having chosen to instead turn their focuses outward. For example, enlightenment and study & knighthood and an entire other persona, as a way to distract themselves from the struggles in their lives and unintentionally bring the focus away from their internal darkness.
It's also interesting to observe the parallels of duos such as Enki&Cahara and D'arce&Rag to, since Cahara serves to kind of draw people out of their shells and show them light, while Ragnvaldr's light could be seen as something turned into heat and ignite the spark of retribution and spur on the need to go on. While it doesn't make D'arce and Ragnvaldr very close, I can see how it would maybe inspire something in her and propel her forward in times of discouragement. (Whether that's out of admiration for rags ability to be able to still go on after everything thats happend or if it’s from the desire to find Le’gard before Rag fucking gets him☠️is up to you.)
Cahara’s used to sneaking around even though he's very bright, and so resorts to coaxing and persuasion, whereas Ragnvaldr is very obviously used to being a leader figure and just kind of 'shines' on people. I'm not sure how well those methods obviously work on people like Enki and D'arce (lowkey think they might be more beneficial if they swapped, but that's just makes the fact i tend to default to enki&cahara + d’arce&rag funnier), but the fact that they're watching it happen at all is so rare for them let alone the horrifying moment that occurs for the two of them when they realise they actually enjoying having these idiots around (each other included).
(This awful epiphany mainly applies to Enki. He’d rather be sacrificed again then admit he cares for any of these idiots, nevermind Cahara specifically. I don't think it really hits D’arce until they’re out of the dungeon if they make it and she doesn't have their company anymore.)
After all, the world was cruel to them so they became cruel back. That  probably affects the way they’d view/interact with Cahara/Rag. Enki especially would have a hard time trying to grasp how they are both able to be so,,,happy,, after going through so much, considering the fact he also went through hell and thus chose to close his heart to the world. Yet here he is, watching these two men who have come from nothing and lost everything who have been nothing but repeatedly wronged by life, talk about how beautiful it is and he just. Doesn't. Get. It. He went through abandonment, being pit against his own sibling to see who deserved to still breath in their parents eyes. He had to resort to more than questionable things in order to survive, he stabbed his own sister in the back and burnt his parents alive after crawling out the pit they tried to bury him in. Hell, he had to eat his own siblings/bugs for crying out loud. and the way he went about it makes sense to him. He's protecting himself. He's putting his interests into unemotional things that can't lash out and hurt him again - things that he can safely invest time and effort into, knowing it will fulfil him in some way, without the pressure of it having to impress someone or be worthy enough to try to seek praise from those around him. It's totally protective, wanting to keep himself from that same hurt, wanting to become powerful and knowledgeable enough to keep himself from being hurt ever again. Right?
It's almost a childish but at the same time totally jaded, adult-ified view of what he probably wanted as a child. Bitter and spiteful since all the while, and hell even his necro tendencies probably have something to do with wanting to be in control of and listened to by something for once in his life.
He most likely also shares a lot of The Girl's wonder in the fact that, despite all the awful shit that's happened and the terrible place they're in now, Cahara and Ragnvaldr are taking a good damn while to break under the darkness that's trying to eat them alive. And even if it's terrible how it manifests, could even argue that Ragnvaldr hallucinating his wife is him retreating back to a better time full of light to cope, similar to Cahara constantly going "oh, this is how i used to gain money, its nothing new lol” when Enki tries to beat around the bush and ask if Cahara’s even okay with,,,, this and just ends up being an answer he's not really sure how he feels about.
Enki: how do you do that Cahara: do what ? Enki: just,,, exist, and seem happy about it Cahara: well, existing is quite a beautiful thing, wouldn't you agree ? Enki: Cahara internally: [he doesn't know that finding worth in life is pointless] vs 
D'arce: how do you do that Ragnvaldr: do what? D'arce: keep going onward despite the weight of everything youve lost Ragnvaldr: i've been freed of the binds that kept me from avenging them, that's how D'arce: Ragnvaldr internally: [she doesn't know that weight will stay forever]
ldk why but I really like the idea of them all having similar views but completely opposite interpretations of something. They're all looking at the exact same sunset but seeing something entirely different, both affected by their light and darkness alignments but also just their individual life experiences that shaped their world views.
I can't find it rn but also there's some dialogue from Nosramus about seeing him in the dark; if you’re playing as Cahara/Ragnvaldr, it's a simple “oh your the person from ealier”. but if you’re playing as D’arce/Enki; the response is “the one creeping around in the shadow ealier” witch makes me giggle cuz ofc those 2 be finding comfort in the shadows and scrurrying around like rats in it
“Hooo~! Very good, very good. I love honest words, even when they hurt me. I say that now... But I'm probably going to feel really awful later on. But don't you worry about that. Really. I have grown to love this feeling of being rejected.”
-Pocketcat
Bonus Daan mention :
Daan’s a child darkness both in how it paroles the girl as children destined for greatness by the gods + both more attracted to “Light”(eg elise & cahara both children light & attract others 2 them) like moths 2 a flame then actually attract people to him
Being a child of darknesses also link him 2 fagcat + part the reason pocketcats so interested in the fact “someone like him” was chosen by the gods(much 2 daans dismay)
hes is literally drowning in misery. Thinks of his life as a curse he's forced 2 live threw with the thought things could be different/better ever crossing his mind 
Much like d’arce &enki never rly know the feeling of being loved & wanted baring teh short time he was with his wife (rip elies)
He has never known a peaceful happy day, mans just straight up NOT ALLOWED nice things & those he has get ripped away from him in the cruellest ways possible & having said lost thing repeatedly rubbed in his face (eg dead wife ,her coming back as stitches + fagcat never letting him know peace )
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yelling-space · 5 months
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Here to get you...
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yelling-space · 5 months
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sex hcs
// Might be a lil heavy 4 a first post idk??? thought it be a good indicator of what u can expect from me in relation 2 each charter encase that's sming u want 2 avoid tho,
so enjoy this short summary the Main 4s feelings on/relationship with sex and daans here 2 for some reason
none the left over colours fitted Enki so i made him pink 2 spite him
Cw :(Impyed) child prostitution + s/a
Cahara
-whore by birth,slut by choise
-has a hate-love relationship with sex(regardless position) and kinda treats it like a "get out of jail free" card, rellised from a young age the amount of horrble suitions he can get out of if he opens his mouth a lil wider and swings his hips a little
-can be pear pressured/guilted into agreeing 2 sex + for as mutch as hes into and enjoys sex he feels so gross and unclean and not comfy in his own skin after regadles who its with (he will internaly throw up and try 2 rip his skin of if you call him "exotic")
-will cry if he has totally normal fully consensual sane safe sex w a partner/ his wife
-doesnt understand the religious belifes of immodesty or sodomy esply when those higher up dont tend 2 practice what they preach , OPPOSITE of a prude , open whore.
D'arce
-closeted butch top that didnt realize her desire to fuck pretty men was actually her lesbian soul shining through
-lotta her,,,less practical ,vewis on sex stem from deep rooted homophba + was 2 goal oriented and determined 2 became a knight 2 even think about or consider it before espacping the dugon
-full heartedly believed all women harbour a disgust 4 the male sex organ and that coupes just did not have sex endless it was 2 convive a child , as you can imagine she was in for a surprise when discovering that was not the case.
-horrifically inexperienced and guided by her desire to dominate, and thus becomes known for owning The Scary Strap" that medieval men are afraid of
Enki
-Dead body fucker. That Necromancy spell is NOT going to just go too waist ,
-not all that interested in sex in general and never really saw any reason to engage with it when spell books are literally RIGHT there . saying that he most definitely gets of on having something completely under his control regardless what end the "fucked-fucking" scale he's on
- not really into sex with living people + how he's probably kind of inexperienced due to an isolated upbringing hence the want for control over puppeteering a sexual partner (dead body), or the high he gets off inflicting acts of sadism given how his ideas of intimacy have been twisted from childhood
-100%%%%%%% a fucking freek btw just cuz hes not 2 instered in sex dosnt mean hes not a fucking freek man fucks dead people and probs vry mutch into s/m
Rag
-wife kink. you don't understand how much he loves his wife.
-probs thinks sex is something shared between two lovers and is something meant 2 be full of affection and enjoyed by both party's
-probs see's s/a being viewed as something incredibly disrespectful, cowardly and the abuser deserve of death getting his shit kicked in (this is funny because i like 2 imagen rag starts projecting his dead wife onto cahara when he starts 2 lose it in the dungeon)
-did not know sex work existed or brothels were a thing, got jump scared by it when taking cahra back 2 see his wife with the others , he was vry confused and not rly sure where he was MENT 2 look so spent most the time with his eyes glued to the floor, celling or his friends faces (he respects women even if he's not rly sure what's going on)
Daan
-lil sex adictic freek , dosnt even realy enjoy sex that much,just so used 2 it being apart his life hes not entirely sure what 2 do without it,+allows himself to ast least feel incontrol the situion (for once in his life) cus he knows what the goal is and faster he gets it over with faster he'll be left to his own devices again.
-sex is all he rly knowns and grown up around, as well as one the only things hes ever seen actually be meaningful to anybody,regardless there relationships with there partner. but it feels like its something he owes people/doesnt really enjoy it regardless if he acrly wants it or not.
-dosnt proply understand how relationships work or that there's more 2 them then just sex (or that people could even *want* him for more then sex for that matter)
-sex was allways seen as something transactional or something for control - cant have any of that with fagcat, but can at least indulge in it in a way that makes him feel like he's way 2 finally has some small aspect control his life again.
-Honesty like ¾ his sex life is just him being abused by Pocketcat
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yelling-space · 5 months
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pinned
idk how active ill be here but might as well make one these just encase //
Anyways hi this is my little space where i just yell into the void :)
mainly fear and hunger related + maybe 1 or 2 other simler things
general warnings:
dead dove here; will try 2 put tw/cw when I rember also its fear and hunger so u probs already know what ur in for
i go threw spirts of activity so my activity varies (will try 2 get back 2 ppl as fast i can tho!!)
i enjoy creepy/manipulative Pocketcat sorry if he jump scares u every now and then (rip daan)
not rly a warning but i am dyslexic and by no means a literally genius so don't expect my posts to be all that
i haven't played termina yet so take anything i say about it or any the charters with a grain of salt
mainly au/scenario rambles & hc dumping + potently art if i feel brave enough 2 try drawing men
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