“Please don’t use ‘I love you’ as a filler when you’ve got nothing to say. Don’t use it as an alternative for ‘sorry’. Don’t use it when you’re feeling bad or mad. Don’t use it to escape an argument. Don’t say it out of pity. Don’t use it against someone. Instead, please use it wisely. Calm yourself then think once, twice, or maybe even a hundred times before using it. Question yourself before uttering it. Make sure you know it’s what you feel before saying it. Say it only to the right person. Say it because you mean it. Say it because not saying it makes you anxious. Say it because there’s no other word nor phrase that compares to how you feel. Say it because that person earned your trust to hear it and last; Say this to yourself. You deserve it.”
I don’t expect anyone to understand how I feel, but I wish I understood how I feel. You left me, we left together. I regret it. I’m unsure if you do, but my bets are that you don’t. Even hundreds of miles away, one post and I’m a mess for you again. How dare you love me and then leave. How dare you take my heart with you. How dare I expect different. Love is more complicated than that. Just because it’s present doesn’t mean the relationship is. I miss you. I’m happy for you. I want you to be free just as I want myself to be free. Someday.