xo-moon-ox

[xo-moon-ox]

F*ck Christmas _ Joe Derosa x Reader (nsfw)

can you tell i like christmas fanfics???

Oh christmas, your least favorite holiday for the past 2 years. Prior to this hatred, christmas used to conversely be your favorite! Ever since your boyfriend had broken up with you ON christmas, you’ve spent the holiday at bars trying to drink the night away. Sometimes friends would stop in but at the end of the night, you were alone.

The holiday had finally made its round and you were at home putting your black heels on that matched your long black spaghetti strap dress. If you were gonna spend the night alone, you might as well TRY to get someone’s attention with your outfit. You grabbed your phone and car keys and you were on your way.

It was a bitch trying to find a parking spot with all the traffic the season brought but you eventually found one outside the bar in the strip mall you frequently visited. “What the hell-??” you questioned as you read the sign on the door.

“Closed for the night! Happy Holidays!”

They hadn’t been closed the past two christmases why now?? Whatever, you’d cope.

You eventually pulled out of the crowded lot and drove around until you found a small bar that wasn’t over populated (surprisingly) AND it was open! As you opened the door, you were delighted to see how uncrowded the place was. You approached the bar, sat at one of the stools, and pulled out your phone on instinct. “Hey, can I help you?” the man from behind the counter asked, pulling you out of your trance looking at what fun your friends were having together. The guy was pretty cute, his hair was dark and curly, he wore glasses, a graphic tee shirt, jeans, and a denim jacket.

“Hi, can i have a vodka seltzer?” You said trying to be nice although you were annoyed by everything. The man nodded and went to get your drink. “Not a big fan of the holidays huh?” he said as he brought you the seltzer. You wondered how he knew then you realized you were at a bar. By yourself. “Yeah no, being around so many people gives me a headache even if i love them” you replied. “I get that, that’s exactly why i’m working tonight” you both sort of chuckled at that. “how long have you been working here?” you asked trying to make small talk “Oh I own this bar” he said with a smile that for some reason gave you butterflies “No way! that’s so cool” you said while taking a sip of your drink. “Where are my manners I never introduced myself, hi i’m Joe what’s your name?” he asked while leaning on the bar, “Y/N” “I like that name, what do you do for a living Y/N?”. You kind of enjoyed how much attention he was putting into you. “i’m kind of in and out of jobs right now, i just cant figure out what i want to do with the rest of my life yknow?” you responded while stirring the ice around you now empty drink with your straw. “Totally feel that” Joe responded.

You noticed people leaving one by one as the night dragged on. “I’m closing up soon but you can stay a little longer if you want, I don’t mind” Joe said as he walked out from behind the bar to lock the doors. “Thanks Joe, yknow i really liked talking to you tonight. I felt good talking to someone” “I’m glad, would you wanna do something sometime? I can give you my number if ya want” “i’d love that”. He put his phone number in your phone. “Be safe hun”. He said as you left his bar.

Late into the next day, you decided to text Joe.

“Hey this is Y/N from the bar, would you want to come over later? We can watch a movie or something!”

You waited a couple minutes then your phone dinged

“I’d love to 😁”

You sent him your address and the time to be at your apartment and went to get ready. You decided to wear a short red dress that made your butt look amazing, curled your hair, did your makeup, then started making dinner.

about an hour and a half later, you heard your doorbell ring. When you opened it you saw joe wearing black slacks, a black shirt, and of course, his denim jacket. he also brought you a beautiful bouquet of roses (haha). “wow Y/N you look stunning” he said handing you the bouquet. You blushed at the compliment and gave him a smile “Aw thank you, come in?”. As he came into your apartment he took off his jacket and hung it up, his tattoos now visible. After you both laughed and talked through dinner you decided it was movie time! “Do you mind if i go change? I’ll only be a sec-“ you asked. “Go for it” Joe responded. You decided to put your hair into a messy bun, put on grey sweat pants and a white spaghetti strap crop top. When you went back to the tv room, Joe had picked out a movie that just so happened to be your favorite! You grabbed a couple blankets from the closet and brought them to the couch where you cuddled up against Joe, putting your head on his shoulder. The smell of his cologne bringing you butterflies once again. As the movie ended you realized it was past one am, “You don’t have to go home if you don’t want to, i’m not forcing you to stay but-“ He turned to you and before you could finish your sentence he said “i’d love to” while kissing your forehead. You decided to be a bit bold after he had pulled away and kissed him for real. “I’m sorry i acted outta the moment i shouldn’t-“ he cut you off once again and pulled you back in deepening the kiss. Before you knew it, you he was on top of you. He pulled away and moved down to your neck “it’s fine Y/N, don’t be sorry” he said between leaving hickeys on your neck. You gasped “Oh my god Joe-“ as his hand slipped under your sweats and panties. “I know baby I know” He said as he started rubbing your clit with his talented fingers. “I’m gonna cum if you keep that up” you breathed out laughing a little. With that he pulled his hand out of your pants and got off of you. He got off the couch and stood in front of you, moving you by your waist to sit up straight. He directed your hand to his cock that stood at attention through his pants, “God, do you feel what you do to me? I’ve had a hard on all day because of you” you started to stroke his dick over top of his slacks which caused him to lean his head back with a satisfied smile “Good god Y/N” you undid his belt and slid his pants off. He started jerking himself off slowly as to not start fucking you right off the bat (as much as he wanted to). “Oh Y/N you have no idea what you do to me.” He said as he leaned over you again and lowered his voice “You don’t know how turned on you made me after you left the bar baby. You’re so fucking hot- You tease.” He pushed into you slowly making you moan louder than anticipated. “You like that huh? You like taking my cock don’t you?” He chuckled out breathing heavily “mhm” that was all you could let out. He started cussing out obscenities as he started fucking you at a pace that was making you see stars. “That dress looked so good on you baby, but i wanted it off of you so bad” Joe slurred out “Fuck where do you want me to cum baby?” he asked through gritted teeth “i’m on the pill- FUCK joey please-“ you moaned as he hit a spot that pushed you over the edge. That was all it took for him to fill you up with his cum. “oh my god baby” he said while kissing you “we need to have movie nights more often” he pulled out of you slowly then carried you to the bathroom like the princess you are where you got cleaned up. You walked into your bedroom ready to pass out when you noticed joe had already made himself at home and fallen asleep in your bed. As you climbed in next to him, he pulled you close to him by your waist and kissed your neck. Maybe christmas isn’t that bad.

Dedicated to my IJ wifey!!

#joe derosa #fanfic #nsfw

[xo-moon-ox]

Q’s home!! Brian Quinn x Reader (nsfw!!)

Although you loved him and everything about him, your boyfriend Brian was a little bit of a “cat lady”. By this; everytime he’d find a lonely stray out on the street, he’d get out of his car and take the cat home with him. The cats he owned, you loved almost as much as you loved him, they all had their own unique personalities which you loved dearly.

Tonight, your boyfriend had been gone on tour with the Impractical Jokers for almost two months, you had been cat sitting for said two months. You didn’t mind cat sitting after all, you loved how Brian saw you as responsible when it came to the care of some of the beings he loves most.

It was a warm summer evening in New York and you had just pulled into the driveway of Brian’s home. As you were looking for your keys you felt someone’s hands on your hips “Hi sweetheart” the person said into your ear. You whipped around and it was your boyfriend! “Hi baby!! How was your trip? I didn’t know you’d be home this earl-“ and without another word Brian had you pushed against the door with his lips on yours in a heated makeout session. As Q started moving down to attack your neck he almost whispered “We can talk about me later baby, god I didn’t stop thinking about you once. You drive me crazy sweetheart yknow that?” “Oh my god, Bri we can’t do this out here” you said blushing. Q backed away “Would if i could baby, i missed you like crazy” he said while hurriedly unlocking and opening the door.

Q pulled you inside then pushed you against the closed door “I also missed how you feel on my cock.” he growled into your ear before going back to your neck, biting and leaving hickies. “I need you so bad Brian please..” you breathed out “Oh yeah? You want it so bad then get on your knees for me princess.” You listened to your boyfriends instruction and sunk down to your knees looking up at Q innocently. “God you’re so hot when you look at me like that” he said while undoing his belt and kicking off his jeans and boxers. “Look at how hard you make me doll. Fucking crazy..” He said as he started jerking himself off over you. “Please baby I need you so bad” you whined out “Really?” Q asked sarcastically as if he couldn’t tell by the look of desperation on your face “God you’re needy” he said as he pushed his cock into your mouth. He jerked himself off with your mouth as he pleased, starting off slow to get you guys into a rhythm then his pace became animalistic. Moans and grunts from both you and your boyfriend echoed throughout the room “god i love you so much baby you take my cock so well i’m going to destroy you..” With the heat of the moment, your boyfriends brain was going 100 miles a minute and you could tell he was close. He looked absolutely gorgeous, sweat beading on his forehead, bottom lip caught in between his teeth, hair that was once put together now messy. He was wearing your favorite FDNY shirt that he knew you loved. “Oh my god Y/N.” He came all the way down your throat, when he pulled out of your mouth you could feel his cum dripping off the sides of your mouth.

Q used his thumb to wipe the cum off your mouth and put it in your mouth, “oh Y/N what am i gonna do with you..” You smiled at your boyfriend as you wrapped both arms around his neck and stood up, kissing him. Still in the kiss, Q tapped your thighs with his index and middle finger ordering you to jump up. Once you did, he carried you to the couch where he hovered over you and kissed you extremely passionately, his beard scratching your face in an erotic way, one hand keeping him stable while the other roamed your body freely. His hand was focused on your chest, giving attention to both of your tits before moving further down. His hand found its way down your pants as he started make circles around your clit over your underwear “Brian please stop teasing” you said, he moaned as he attached himself to your collarbone and moved his hand (with the ring) under your waist band still focusing on your clit. He moved his hand further down, “Good god baby you’re so wet! You love it when I touch you don’t you” you could only moan in response as he shoved his fingers into your hole “I’m gonna make you feel so good baby, no one else can pleasure you like I do. You’re mine” after he didn’t get a response he moved his hand out of your pants and to your neck “I’m sorry sweetheart, who do you belong to?” “You Brian, only you” “That’s what i thought.” Q took off your skirt and underwear and didn’t even give you a chance to think before he shoved his hard cock into you railing you as he pleased. “yeah just like that, tight little slut like that” he breathed out as his pace became erratic “oh my god i can feel you dripping down my cock, sweetheart i’m about to cum.” and he did with a loud moan which you hoped the neighbors didn’t hear-. He collapsed on top of you, completely exhausted. “My trip was great, thanks for asking!” Q said breaking the silence which made you both laugh. “I love you so much sweetheart.” Q said before drifting off to sleep with you pressed against his body. You were so happy he was home.

#impractical jokers #brian quinn #q imagines

[xo-moon-ox]

Move In? Sal Vulcano x Reader (nsfw!!)

You and your boyfriend Sal had been together for almost 2 years, you would say you had a very healthy relationship with little to no arguments. Everything was A-okay. You don’t live together so every so often after a long day at work you’ll drop by each others houses just to spend time with each other and decompress. You were each others comfort person.

Tonight was a serene winter night with snowflakes silently dropping to the ground outside your living room window. You were sitting on the couch with christmas music playing quietly in the background, reading your book, and covered with warm blankets in contrast to the cold winter air.

Suddenly you hear keys from outside. You assume it’s Sal so you don’t bother getting out of your mountain of blankets. “Hi baby it’s just me” Said your boyfriend as he walked in and took off his coat. “Why didn’t you call! I could’ve made us some hot chocolate or something” It WAS out of character for him to not call or text before coming over. “I wanted it to be a surprise! Don’t worry about it, we’ll make some later, I just wanna cuddle with my girl right now” Sal said as he walked in the room, his hair was grown out with the snowflakes from outside melting quickly. It was a little messy from him pushing it back but you loved it like that.

Sal climbed under the blankets with you and put his head on your chest holding you close to him. As you were reading you started playing with his hair, you were the only person allowed to do so. “How was work my love?” You asked “Oh man, it was rough. Sometimes I don’t know why I still put up with those guys” he sighed. “I’m sorry baby, i’m sure it’ll be better tomorrow” “I hope so”. You both sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Sal broke said silence “Hey, can I ask you something?” “go for it darling” you set your book down on the coffee table next to you. “I don’t know if it’s too early for this or what but…would you like to move in…together?” Sal sort of chuckled out, a little nervous for your response. “Of course, I would love too!!” You beamed as you kissed your boyfriend.

The kiss lasted only a couple seconds but when you pulled away, he pulled you back in. As the kiss deepened, Sal scooped you up and brought you both to your bedroom and put you down gingerly onto your bed. In between the kiss sesh Sal breathed out “I’m so happy you said yes”. You beamed at him as he got off from hovering over you and you instinctively went to your knees.

You undid his jeans and pulled them down slowly, his cock restricted and leaking precum. “Oh! You’re really happy I said yes!” He chuckled then let out a satisfied sigh as you palmed him through his boxers which you pulled down with your teeth moments later. He loved when you did that, as you slowly took his cock down your throat his hands found their way into your hair. “Fuck Y/N.. you look so beautiful with my dick in your mouth” He remarked as he took full control over you. You couldn’t help but moan around his cock when he said that “Shit oh my god baby..” once his hands released themselves from your hair, you pushed your boyfriend onto the bed while kissing him and started slowly taking off each article of clothing starting with your pajama pants ass facing sal so he could take notice to your red lace underwear that he loved so much “Oh sweetheart..You have no idea what you’re doing to me”.

You chuckled as you were about to take off your shirt (which you stole from him) when sal got up from the bed and held you by the waist “No wait, keep the shirt on”. Sal kisses you then forcefully takes your wrists and pins you onto the bed. “Say please if you really want it” said in between hickies and kisses your boyfriend planted on your neck moving down to your collarbone. “Please baby…” you gasped out. His grip tightened on your wrists, “I’m not convinced” he said as he pulled away “Please oh my god i need you so bad sal” “That’s what I thought”. Sal took your lace thong off and immediately went straight down, licking you up and down and every so often mouthfucking your clit- let’s just say he was very talented in this department plus his beard made it even more sexy. “Please Sal I need you in me” sal let out a small moan and lined himself up with your entrance.

He started off slow then progressively got faster developing a rhythm. He had your arms pinned to the bed again as he leaned over you and whispered sweet nothings along with things such as “do you like that baby?” “you’re mine, all fucking mine”. “Sal I’m about to cum” you could tell he was too by the loss of rhythm in his thrusts and his erratic moans “Let’s cum together sweetheart, can I cum inside you?” “I’m on the pill” You came with a pornographic moan all over his cock “okay fuck..oh my GOD” He moaned as he came.

You both stayed there for a second catching your breath, Sal went into the bathroom, started a bath, poured you both wine, then came back into the room and scooped you up. Sal was the best at aftercare. You both got in the bath and shared stories good and bad about your days and enjoyed each others presence. “I love you Y/N, I really do”.

#impractical jokers #sal vulcano