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Does anyone know of a discord server with music roulette/album listen swap? just saw this concept and I'm interested now

#Would it even be doable on Tumblr??? #Music #Discord

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Song of the Day | 2.1.2024: Daddy by Nourished By Time

#Vacuum dancing with this vibbbbbeee #music #Nourished by time

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Byung-Chul Han, from an interview published in ArtReview

#Exactly what I want thoughts about #RITUAL AND ROUTINE. AM I ENABLING CHAOS OR FREEDOM.

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#nourished by time #Music #Spotify

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I’ll follow you down til the sound of my voice will haunt you

You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

#Music

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It's beauty that keeps me sane and calm and grounded in myself. And I realized, beauty is there only when it is perceived, appreciated. It requires your attention, your slowing down, to see it. That's where I've been lacking and feeling my head run faster than it should - because stopping was beginning to be impossible. Too many lists of things that need doing, tasks, better things to learn than what interests me, and on and on, the needs and musts and shoulds. But it erodes focus. Keeping my head down until I've reached the destination but there's never one. Oasis have to be carved in order to feel their relief when you resume the running.

Eroding focus also erodes patience, and calm, and gentleness. And then I don't see joy or colors anymore, or it takes a lot for me to. And I don't enjoy things as much. And I feel constant guilt, and like nothing's fast enough, and my breath turns shallow, and my body forces out coughs so I can stop and take time.

So I've felt on the edge of too much and was gonna do something for myself, for calm. I got there eventually, and this beautiful Meet Yourself episode was another refresher again. I'm dragging the show since last summer because I know how helpful it is to me every time I watch a new episode. I leave it after it's helped, knowing I'll pick it up when I need its reminder again. And I'm right. And it keeps bringing me back to myself, funny enough (meet yourself...).

I almost cried, when I felt myself settle into the looseness of calm and focus.

There's this thing where I like to be able to feel like only what I'm watching exists when I watch it, not seeing my silhouette before the TV, not seeing the backgrounds. It's rarer to get there lately. Maybe it's also that compelling stories I want to forget myself in are rarer too. Forget the edges of me but reach to the heart. That's what beauty does. How it calms me, to bask in it, find dreams in it.

#and later - after coming back to real life- to be changed by it for the better. Refreshed and alive; with some ease to give myself the #rythm and care I deny myself in times of hurry #It's incredible how much more capable of doing what's good for me I become. It feels really nice 🥺 #T #Diary

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Time will go on ceaselessly. Happiness will never end. Dark clouds are temporary since there will always be wind. - 去有风的地方 (2023)

#Maybe the horizon is what is home anywhere. #meet yourself #去有风的地方

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𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 (2023)

#🥹 #He was right. She would've cried. #meet yourself

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And mama, every Saturday I can hear your southern drawl a thousand miles away, saying, "God, what have you done? You're a pink pony girl, and you dance at the club."

#style #chappell roan

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some more pics from today

#gorgeous #gardens

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good luck, babe really is that icnonic third act rom-com song for lesbians 🥺

#💓💓💓 #NEED a romcom to chappell's songs #chappell roan

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#yeehaww #music #SoundCloud

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HERCULES (1997) Dir. Ron Clements & John Musker

#my girl #hercules

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The best parts of TTPD (guilty as sin, fortnight, down bad, imgonnagetyouback...) are like the darker parts Lover (false god, i think he knows, miss americana...), with the appropriate aesthetic, and if she'd stuck with that, editing the length of the album to a shorter one that was committed to one thing, it would have had much more of an impact. Would've loved a short compilation of newish sounds, actual singing, not monotone-y story singing. Say your piece and leave the rest for extras you release online randomly, cause they don't belong to an album (most of the second album, folklore rejects)

#Ts #Ttpd #taylor swift #lover

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MONKEY MAN + trivia 2024, dir. Dev Patel

#Me going 'damn' at each of these and Dusty going 'what's going on over there' lol #monkey man

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maybe if taylor named names and criticized her dad openly it would feel a lot more decent. why couldn't she take a break after all. why go on tour, she doesn't need it. She could've taken a break if money makers weren't in her ear. Anyway....

#Ts

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honestly, I've said on here for years and years that my own understanding of myself as nonbinary, as butch, is an understanding that while I feel alienated from femininity and womanhood, I do not experience or seek acceptance within masculinity or manhood to an even greater degree.

if you want to get kind of hyperspecific with it, I'm both "woman" (insofar as the political construction of gender within patriarchy places me currently and in the past) and "not woman" (insofar as I am in a state of being pushed and pulled within that).

I am pushed out because I am a dyke, because I do not conform to the gender of woman (when I was younger I failed at the performance, and now I refuse it), because I am noticeably "other" around cis women (and have been since a child-- in fourth grade the entire class of girls came together to coerce me into getting my ears pierced and buying clothes in "girl colors" and wearing make-up. fourth grade! I was not allowed to have sleepovers with girls until I did these things which was enforced by a girl bully who would literally walk to my house to make sure no one visited me), and pulled in through my experiences of 'corrective' gendered/sexual violence (years of homophobic/transphobic/misogynistic abuse by a cishet man, sexual harassment at various workplaces, etc.), through misgendering (people refusing to use my pronouns, etc.), through medical gatekeeping (years of being denied a deeply desired gender affirming surgery), etc.

once on here I think I described my gender as like a thaumatrope of "woman" and just something else. (a thaumatrope is basically an optical illusion achieved by having two different images on either side of a piece of paper, and using string on either side to flip the paper back and forth so rapidly that it appears to be one image).

in some ways I still feel like that. my gender (insofar as gender is a social construct and my gender is described as my experience of how I am gendered socially) isn't a stable category-- it is the constant motion of being expelled from womanhood and then forcibly pushed back in. like that IS my gender, the very motion of it.

no where in that is actually masculinity. a lot of things about how I handle dysphoria can be read as masculine by some (I often bind my chest, use a packer, wear men's clothes, keep my hair short, have no uterus and thus will never be pregnant, I'm starting a low dose of testosterone, etc.) but these things are not inherently masculine attributes to me, they are just comfortable and reassuring. they make me feel at home in my body.

and so, I very much do not identify as "masc" or "transmasc" or "masculine." I understand there are many butches who do identify as masc or masculine. I understand there are many nonbinary tme folks who see themselves as somewhere between "woman" and "man" or perhaps some combination of both. I know there's lots of transmasc folks who might have quite a few life events in common with me. obviously that's all cool and good and neither of our paths with that invalidates the other's. but I think maybe the difference is in how those experiences landed for us in relation to our gendered desire, in relation to how we want to be treated.

I have never wanted to be a man or to be treated like one. when I am pushed out of womanhood, I never attempt to get to manhood, I just sort of agree that I'm a categorical error and feel no need to change something about myself to address it. when I am pulled back into womanhood with various forms of misogynist violence, I never find myself thinking "I wish I was a man so I was not subject to this" or "they would not subject me to this if they perceived me as a man," I only think "I wish I was not subject to this."

if there's anything I desire with regard to others' gendered perception of me, it is a desire to just be allowed to exist.

#This is so sincere and appreciated. #Thank you for putting intricate feelings into words. These can be so easily interpreted into a palatable message that would not be accurate #and I feel it's important to take time to share those complex feelings that sit at particular intersections. #For yourself but also when you share it others can be inspired dive in deeper and not just grab the closest solution they see. #I really really appreciate this! Unusual truth speaking beyond stark labels and it's nice. #Gender #I relate to this much more than most gender takes I see about being one or the other. Sometimes you're who you are and it doesn't fit in and #but you're not gonna lean to the other side to fit in better. I don't wish I was different to fit in I wish the outside was different so #that fitting in wouldn't matter and wouldn't exist. And that doesn't change who I am. Anyway it's up to people to decide what they can #withstand and what they need to do and that's okay. But yeah #I would also not like if someone called me masc lol. It triggers ''female rage''' in the purest sense to me. #That that being anything other than what's expected makes people call you masc. Pfft. Can we let women be what they are without labeling #what doesn't fit in about them?