whatdamiwatched

[whatdamiwatched]

Are we…a…family?

Sharpwin finally had the kind of confrontation that they’ve been needing to have since they got into a quick ass relationship, jumped over all the regular steps and moved to a whole new country together. Even though they had been whatever they were for three years, their personal relationship lived within the walls of the hospital. They didn’t have dinner some nights or hang out in each other’s houses, she didn’t babysit Luna from time to time- it was a work husband/wife dynamic that stayed at work. Understandably, moving from that very contained relationship into an extremely serious romantic relationship had to explode sooner or later- the show went for later - because timing isn’t their forte, but it was nonetheless satisfying.

I have never seen a character more loved and exalted as Max Goodwin. For some reason, the fandom is quick to see everything from his point of view and remind themselves that HE’S A GOOD MAN! It doesn’t help that his character is written to be the saintiest of saints- like even Jesus cannot compete- and every character that’s next to him has to be a little bit worse. An example is the entire hospital staff pretending that Helen leaving was a completely normal and inconsequential thing even though she had worked with these people for years, was best friends with some of them and had been a big part of Max’s transformation of New Amsterdam. A lot of that is a failing on the part of the writers, but also a part of this flattening of any character around Max to let his sainthood shine brighter.

When Helen brought up the subject of Max’s parents, he explained it away in two sentences and put a pin 📌 in the conversation. Helen respected that and didn’t push it. In that same conversation, Max then broaches the subject of where he wants her relationship with Luna to go.

Against the two things I have highlighted, we come to the basis of their first fight. After Helen explodes at her mother, and Max shows up ONE hour late, she leaves the restaurant angrily. Max stays. So much happened after that this point was very much overlooked, but ONE hour late to meet the woman you’re calling your mother in law is unacceptable. I also think if he could already not make the effort to be on time to something Helen expressed was already a fraught encounter, he should have followed her for that reason. She should have been in that moment, his priority and he should have been more conscious of the fact that he was walking into a thorny situation to start with.

Now, before I continue, let me address the people that would try to remind me that he moved country- boo-fucking-hoo. He made a choice that adults across the world make every day and he’s making it for someone that has LITERALLY saved his life MULTIPLE times. I don’t even want to debate what the weight of his sacrifice is because I’m not convinced it even compared to the 3 seasons of sacrifice from her beforehand and she didn’t ask it of him.

So Helen is back home, wearing one of Max’s shirts for comfort, drinking wine and trying to recover from maybe one of the biggest blow outs she’s ever had with her mum. Max comes home and he doesn’t ask questions- doesn’t say “omg that seemed really hard, what happened?” Or “how are you feeling now?” Or “do you want to talk?” Or “I’m sorry I was late”- you know what Max does instead?

Max says he’s solved the issue by setting up a standing weekly invitation for them to bond.

Put yourself in Helen’s shoes? WTF?

When she rightly says she didn’t ask him to solve it…and wait let’s circle back. As a couple, it’s really okay and ideal to deal with things together, but that was far from what he was doing- he was making a unilateral decision about something that was separate from their relationship. So when she’s saying “don’t solve this”, it’s not a “I don’t love you, stay out”- it’s a “this is still a space you’re not part of yet.” Max responds by bringing up moving. Now it’s not that fact that he said moving (actually it is a little bit) but it’s also the language he used. “When I moved across the world for you, your problems became our problems”- on first glance, it might seem almost romantic, on second glance, Helen was completely right. Even though he made the physical move with her, he had a different set of emotional touch points with the move. His emotional thing was - “I love this woman, I want her in my life, I want to be with her and that’s what matters now.” For Helen, it’s “I’ve run away from dealing with my family issues and I’m trying to discover who I was to find out how I am”. Those are difficult issues already without carrying the burden of the fact that your brand new boyfriend has moved his life to be with you.

So while she’s home with her wine trying to decompress from a big part of her move blowing up, Max comes home and triggers the other button- “I get to interfere because I moved here”. Boom.

By now, he’s frustrated that she’s not talking to him about the deeper background issues and being left with her mum and so where he should have pulled back, he pushes at it, leading to their back and forth which ends in him asking - “are we a family?”

What an unfair question. What a load to add on top of an already heavy day.

In a way, that’s Max. Max that wanted to be all of the above even when he was married- Max that pushed Helen to admit her feelings and then acted like the conversation never happened- Max that had a relationship he didn’t share, but questioned why she didn’t share hers- Now, Max that’s using her relationship with her mother to act as a shortcut to expressing his moving uncertainty.

I am happy the fight happened though and can’t wait to see where it leads them to next.

#new amsterdam #helen sharpe #max goodwin #sharpwin #writers

[whatdamiwatched]

Things I’d love to see from Sharpwin

Conversations - like enough with the eye talking- can they use words???? Can they have conversations with more than two sentences? Can they stop making unilateral decisions for each other? Helen decided she was moving in without a conversation, Max decided Luna was going to call her mum without a conversation, he announced their move from the hospital without a conversation, he announced his move with her without a conversation…and yeah unilateral decisions make for good tv romance content but that’s not a good thing to build your relationship on.

Lust- omg! Can they flirt? Can they touch each other in ways that aren’t strictly cute? Can I have one sentence alluding to the fact that they find each other hot? Where’s the longing? The desire? The damn fire???

Relationships with other people- do they ever have drinks with friends? Text? Call? Visit? Who else was impacted by this move apart from Georgia’s family and their employers?

A relationship with Luna- by both of them! In fact, the Alice situation built more on a relationship with Luna than with sharpwin. What’s Luna’s relationship with Max like? Does she adore him? What’s her relationship with Helen so far? Is there any struggle with that?

At this stage, it’s nice that we suddenly have kisses and stuff after waiting for so long but after 10 episodes, we’re going to need some more depth around this relationship- I am anyway

#sharpwin

[whatdamiwatched]

I would argue that Helen, not New Amsterdam, is Max’s life. There has never been a time in the show where Helen wasn’t his priority. She was the only doctor he knew by name before he started and the only doctor he fought to keep. He has offered multiple times to give up his role for her. She’s saved his life multiple times and he has expressed over and over how his life is so much better because she’s his partner- and that was before they had a romantic relationship. She helped him move forward from his grief, she encouraged him to fight for his daughter.

The idea that he wouldn’t do everything in his power to be with Helen or that New Amsterdam is the more compelling choice is laughable. London is a sacrifice, but losing Helen would be a much bigger sacrifice.

#new amsterdam #sharpwin #helen sharpe #max goodwin

[whatdamiwatched]

Someone please delete sharpwin from my brain

#sharpwin #new amsterdam #helen sharpe #max goodwin

[whatdamiwatched]

The tenderness in her voice gets me EVERY TIME

#new amsterdam #sharpwin #max goodwin #helen sharpe #tvromance #soft love

[whatdamiwatched]

They had good chemistry and a pretty good relationship - one thing about Helen, she’s going to pick someone that’s at minimum, not an asshole - her men show up for her

#new amsterdam #panthaki #helen sharpe

[whatdamiwatched]

can i just walk with you?

[whatdamiwatched]

If Max and Helen can make a collarbone touch sexy- I don’t know if I can handle hotter scenes!

#new amsterdam #sharpwin #max goodwin #helen sharpe

[whatdamiwatched]

FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was watching Freema and Ryan's live ahead of the season finale and they were answering fan questions, someone asked "three words to describe Helen and Max" and they were like "oh as a dynamic?" anyway they're giving their answers Freema said "soul mates" and someone in the comments said "platonic soul mates" and I had flashbacks to every interracial ship I've ever supported or followed.

And I just wanted to say: you're not slick. That's a comment literally every interracial ship has gotten. I've seen it a thousand times. And they always pretend it's because oh they just love the dynamic as a friendship and they loooove the character of color soooo much but it would be better representation if they were just best buddies and the white character should end up with someone else for some reason. (oh it's totally not racism of course not /sarcasm)

Anyway, sharpwin has had three seasons worth of build up, they've been teased since season 1 (when he still had a wife) they were always the plan. if you don't like it, you're very welcome to go watch something else...

[whatdamiwatched]

I want to move on. I do. But I didn’t get to make that decision. That choice is taken from me.

[whatdamiwatched]

One of my favourite things about Max and Helen is their age! Cute, slow, awkward love stories don’t end in your twenties. You can be successful, heading a department, running a hospital - and still say goodnight twice because you don’t want to leave - and still say the wrong thing- and still be scared of being vulnerable - and commitment - and putting your heart out- and transitioning from friends to lovers

You can be the most put together or principled person and still fall in love by accident and stay in love even when it hurts and open yourself to another person even when you’re unsure and it’s a risk

It’s a human thing, not an age thing

#sharpwin #new amsterdam #max goodwin #helen sharpe

[whatdamiwatched]

I know people wanted more, but for me, that episode was perfect in terms of Max and Helen. Falling in love is scary- attraction, lust, it’s easier…They took so much time to move to the next step that they fell in love and moving forward when you’re in love, that’s hard, that’s a much bigger risk than moving forward when all you have is an attraction.

I found it crazy how much Helen put herself out this episode- she only ever seems to need the slightest nudge from Max- in this case, a sexy voicemail and she was changing her flight and heading back to New York a day early! Even though his reaction to her being back was to speak about how freaked out he was about losing his ring, she didn’t shut him down completely- at her house, she was open to him deciding whether or not to come in- she put herself out there and let him lead the situation.

His reaction to her going to England for one week shows how attached their characters had become and how much it was time for them to move forward, one way or the other.

I think not talking about the ring was perfect because it was always a Max issue- not a sharpwin issue- it was just indicative of him being able and willing to move forward- the only proof Helen needed of that was exactly what happened- he made the decision to come back and kiss her.

Writing connection, writing lust, even writing a relationship- is easy. Writing love is hard. This has been the most rewarding slow burn in a very long time. My heart is happy ❤️

I hope the writers don’t ruin it but I feel like Freema and Ryan can turn even ruins into beauty.

#sharpwin #new amsterdam #freema agyeman #ryan eggold #max goodwin #helen sharpe

[whatdamiwatched]

#sharpwin #new Amsterdam #lyricstotheirsong

[whatdamiwatched]

Night. – Night. – Night. – You said that.

[whatdamiwatched]

[whatdamiwatched]

Max & Helen - From the Beginning...

In preparation for the sharpwin ship sailing next week, I went and rewatched season 1 to really contextualise the way their relationship has developed, and I have to say it was quite eye opening.

The Introduction

We are introduced to Georgia in the first scene with Max via his phone screen, there’s a photo of her as his background photo. Their first conversation on screen happens when he calls her in the middle of this day just after he speaks to Helen for the first time

Max- Just calling to say hi

Georgia- Really?

Max- isn’t that what people do?

Georgia- people, yes. You…not so much.

Max- I’m trying, I’m going to change, I’m going to win you back

Georgia- well you have 12 weeks.

It isn’t until later that we find out fully that this marriage is failing and being held together by guilt and a difficult pregnancy, which makes it even worse that Max’s attempt at “trying” was calling her in the middle of the day to say nothing compelling.

Enter Helen- confident, smart, an asset to the hospital and the only doctor Max personally seeks out on his first day- to insist that she immediately cut down on travel or get fired. While the other doctors are stats and figures to him when he starts at New Amsterdam, Helen is Dr Helen. Already their relationship is being established as different from his relationship with the other doctors. In a throat biopsy, he’s distracted by her on tv- so distracted in fact, that he’s pushed to give her another ultimatum even though the first one hasn’t expired.

Max’s ultimatum was significant for Helen because for the first time since she had been running and hiding from the pain in her life, someone saw her and cared enough to make her stop. Even though it was a medical director she just met, and it was because of work, it was grounding for her for someone to see her and need her in that way.

Her choosing to come back was significant, not just because of Max, but because it was the catalyst for facing the emotional baggage she had been trying to escape.

So here we are- Max in the hospital where his sister died and donated her organs, trying to find closure and Helen- weighed down by emotional baggage that she’s ready to face.

Tell Me One True Thing

Georgia and Max meet in the hospital where he works- her energy is light and energetic; their connection is fun and their first date is in the hospital cafeteria. From that scene, their banter is fun and flirty, but Max is relaxed – they both are, it’s an easy connection. When Max proposes, he does it by the hospital when he’s on call! He’s in his scrubs and not only does he think that’s okay- she thinks that’s okay.

Their relationship never really existed outside of his career, he never put her first, and she points this out when she finds out about the medical director job. She knows that he will not choose her over the hospital, especially not the hospital where Luna died. The thing is, Max doesn’t even really try. He never chooses her, and she never actually expects him to.

When he almost dies at the lake and has the temporary epiphany that he has to take his cancer seriously, she doesn’t advocate for him to leave his job- even though…he almost died. She knows the job still comes first. Georgia and Max’s relationship thrived on emotional distance- when Georgia begs him in her hospital bed to tell her one true thing- he could only say- I love you. While he and Helen debated his cancer treatment, her only input was going with what Max wanted? When he woke up from his minor tooth surgery, his first thought wasn’t how the surgery chain went, it was what helen said specifically.

I love my doctor

Before Helen, Max had likely never felt true intimacy and vulnerability. He had likely never been able to be himself completely with a partner. We don’t know much about his relationship with his parents, but we can deduce that he’s not close to them.

Although the physical chemistry was palpable from their first scene, Max and Helen built a friendship based on trust and honesty since they let each other in very early. This relationship was built with the best intentions but every relationship comes to a point where emotion supersedes emotion and that’s where we ended up at 1x 16 where the clairvoyant tells Max that he’s going to lose someone close to hum. As soon as she assured him that it wasn’t his wife, he pulls Helen aside to reassure her and try to explain how he feels about her ending by saying “I love my doctor”.IN THE MIDDLE OF TREATING A PATIENT IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM WHILE MARRIED. At this point, both Max and Helen are at a crossroads of the undeniability of their connection, even though they are both too principled and respectful to call it anything other than “this thing between us”.

At the lake, when he goes to spread ashes for Luna, he says to her- or to the wind that he’s addressing as her- everything I do is because of you. I just keep trying to save you , over and over that’s all I do and I never, never will.

Now where did we end up hearing those EXACT words before?

In that moment, it’s Max admitting that he’s been consumed with emotions that are clouding his judgment and he has to let go.

When Helen uses those words in 2x16, the subtext is the same. By that time, she had saved his life and even Georgia’s life- multiple times. She even saved his life twice in one episode! She saved his life by taking on his cancer in the first place, she saved his life by choosing to pass him off to another doctor when he was using their relationship as an opportunity to not take his cancer seriously and she saved his life by making the decision for him to stop that treatment when it wasn’t working. She took on the role of deputy medical director- which let’s face it was more or less the medical director, she found him, not one but two trials, she gave up half her department that she loved more than anything. She gave up her romantic relationship- she meant it when she said everything I’ve done I’ve done for you- just like Max meant it when he said it to Luna. Max and Helen had have both poured themselves into people that couldn’t pour back, one because she was dead, and the other because he had too many warring emotions to deal with.

Helen could have let Max save her more- he definitely was willing to be that person and showed it many times, but we have to accept that she was in a very difficult position. Just as soon as she felt settled, started a new relationship, made a decision about freezing her eggs, she’s hit with a consuming, intimate relationship with someone that’s married. She had to leave some walls up.  

Everything I Do Is For You

Their characters have gone through a lot- Helen has a dead parent and a dead fiancée, fertility issues and a fear of vulnerability and the feeling of running out of time- Max has a dead wife, who he had outgrown emotionally, raising a child alone, battling with grandparents that blame him for their daughter’s death and parents that by all indications don’t play a significant role in his life, plus a dead sister he has carried with him his whole life. Finding each other was in many ways, the catalyst each of them needed to move forward with life at so many points. For Max, he could have very well died without Helen- Georgia could have died in the bedroom without Helen- his grieving process would definitely have been longer and more complicated without Helen – it wasn’t insignificant that she was the one that pushed the ghost of Georgia out of the apartment, she was an anchor through it all.

For Helen, she was pushed to come back to the hospital and by having that anchor to a place and her patients, she was able to explore romantic relationships and face her fertility and wanting a child head on, she was able to explore how much of herself she could give to another person again after Mohammed died and try another relationship. In turn, she was able to be in a different position when Mina came to live with her.

By Max receiving the kind of selfless love he had never gotten before (from the parts of his story we’ve been told), he was finally able to heal, from so much of the stuff he’d been carrying to come to a place where he feels able to match Helen’s energy. To come to a point where he’s able to see himself as a WHOLE person, not just a flawed one- not just a guilty one- not just an overworked or crazy or erratic one. The speech at the end of 3x13 to Luna’s parents showed just how far he’s come; how much he’s changed and how much his relationship with Helen has changed him. The confidence that he was enough as- is a Max that we had never seen before.

And Helen- naming them- before now, it’s always been Max with his double meanings  and his “I want to build something better for you and Mina” and “It helps not to be alone” and “I can’t do this without you”, but this time it’s Helen- Helen who is saying “us”- Helen who is putting them together as a family and is relaxed and comfortable doing so. Helen who isn’t simply giving him advice as a friend or listening to him but giving him advice as an anchor- we are here and we are fine and you need to fight for our family because it’s worth it.

I see you

The decon shower. His hand trailing down her neck. Those voicemails. Here they are finally, trying to get into an ADULT relationship. Moving beyond the cute hand holding and lingering looks, to hopefully many kisses, many distractions and many mornings waking up next to each other.

Sharpwin is coming and I’m ready!

#sharpwin #new amsterdam

[whatdamiwatched]

I can’t stop thinking about the longing and desire in Max’s voice- like it’s a loooot

#sharpwin