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Which of these two meddling mamas is worse? Aydan or Ayfer?

NO CONTEST. Ayfer.

Ayfer is the WOOOOOOOOOOORST.

Listen, sure, Aydan is suddenly all anti-Eda and she doesn't seem to have a reason for it other than she left when Serkan pushed her away, but it doesn't matter, because she has zero power over Serkan. Serkan does not listen to her or heed her when it comes to her trying to meddle in his life. Her meddling isn't really annoying, because it's ineffectual. Also, she may have some sort of grudge, however that hasn't manifested into her doing something horrible like lying and hiding a child for 5 years, or putting pressure on her son to lie and hide a child from the child's other parent for 5 years.

Ayfer on the other is a nasty, intolerable piece of work that puts so much pressure on Eda that Eda feels like she can't tell her the truth and has to hide the fact that she has spoken to Kiraz's father. They were literally tiptoeing around behind her back and lying to her face because of what her reaction would be. That is fucked up.

Plus Ayfer is actively trying to prevent Eda from telling Serkan the truth. She was thrilled Melo stole the letter they thought Eda wrote. That is beyond anything that is in the realm of acceptable. So can you imagine how she reacted any time over the years where Eda might have been feeling like she wanted to reach out to Serkan? I bet Ayfer is a big reason Eda never told him and that influence is one of the big reasons she is 100 times worse than Aydan.

Also Ayfer is actively trying to marry Eda off to a man she doesn't have feelings for whose apparent biggest selling point is that he's not Serkan, just to prevent Serkan from being a part of his daughter's life. Why doesn't she give a sh-t about what Eda wants or how Eda feels? Why would she want Eda in a loveless marriage with a stale piece of white bread? I don't know but she clearly doesn't care what Eda actually wants or needs, she just cares that neither Kiraz nor Eda has Serkan.

Additionally, Ayfer gets uptight when anyone says anything positive about Kiraz's father particularly when someone points out how Kiraz takes after him.  So basically she's setting up a situation where eventually Kiraz will sense that any of "those" traits and talents are bad and something to be ashamed of because of crotchety, old, Great Aunt Ayfer's reactions. That alone is enough to kick her out of Kiraz's life. No joke, that's exactly how kids get insecurities and emotional scars.

Also, from the teaser, we know that Ayfer is actively trying to cut her great niece off from her actual family money. "We don't need his money." Listen, bitch, that's not your call. Ayfer only had a flower shop because Serkan intervened and saved it. Now she's a temporary cook and she's 100% living off her niece. So she doesn't get to make financial decisions for Eda and Kiraz, not only because it's none of her damn business, but because she's terrible at it!

On a final note, Aydan is tolerable because she's funny. Her antics are amusing. Her meddling is played for comedy.

Ayfer is humorless. Her antics are boring and she's an insufferable, judgmental gasbag who does real damage and who can't leave soon enough. Can we trade her to get Ferit back?

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Sen Çal Kapımı - Serkan & Eda in episode 42

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Nothing is black and white. Not even the things we judge to be the simplest such as a “are you a night owl or an early bird?” question. For every answer, for every action, behind it lies a very complex reason for why you picked a determined answer. In life, it’s the same. Things are multicolored, multifaceted and depending of a handful of factors combined that will impulse someone to take a certain action or opt for a certain answer. It really has put me into a lot of thinking when I found out the plot regarding Sen Çal Kapımı’s season 2, and seeing so many people start to take sides of such complex and delicate situation made me wonder that maybe people were not seeing the full picture, maybe they were seeing a plain image instead of the 3D situation presented to them.

If you know the characters’ story, you understand both Eda and Serkan’s actions are totally characteristic of them and correct in their own way. I’ll assume if you’re reading this you have knowledge of that, so I shall skip to the present situation and plot: Eda and Serkan broke up and stayed 5 years apart, but this turn in their love story has a bittersweet exception. Their child, Kiraz. Which Serkan does not know of.

EDA

Eda was asked to leave. After standing by his side through his cancer and thinking she’d finally live the life she dreamed with the love of her life, he broke up with her. They fought a lot, he let it explicit he’d never have a family, he closed himself to the world, to Eda, he resetted back to the robot-mode workaholic burying himself in projects that he forgot life. The life he had with Eda. His behavior affected her as well, that closed off too, and although they were together, they kept distancing from each other every day a little more. Until they saw that there was no point in that relationship. Eda shows that after 5 years his words and cold behaviour towards her still hurts her deeply, even making the analogy that she’s “just a toy” for him (ep 2 in the conversation scene with Burak). From her perspective, he decided to throw their years and relationship in the trash because he was the heartless insensitive man he was when they first met. Imagine you invest so much of yourself to someone just for this person to turn to you and tell you he doesn’t want to hear from you, or have you near. You’d be hurt. Especially after all you’ve been put through to be by his side and live your love freely. It was beyond plausible for her to leave and not look back (okay, Aydan?) and whoever had close insight of their relationship and how it deteriorated would agree with that. There’s only so much a person can handle. It was time Eda put herself first, especially when she was carrying a baby that Serkan supposedly wouldn’t want. She feared rejection, not just for her but for their baby, an innocent unborn child, a consequence of their love that was not the same anymore. He had said in her face that he didn’t want children, so she acted out of protectiveness for herself and her child. She couldn’t bare him rejecting the child. Maybe he would have changed his mind when she told him that she was pregnant, but she couldn’t have known that. Serkan turned into someone that was unrecognizable, even for Eda. He wasn’t just the cold workaholic we’ve seen in the beginning of the dizi, he was a cold-traumatized workaholic. So she escorted herself out of that relationship and did not think twice to come back around and tell him about the pregnancy when she found out in Italy. It was basically the logic that if he didn’t want her, why would he want her baby?

SERKAN

Serkan had to endure so much. After all the little things that consumed their relationship, after the plane crash, memory loss, he found out he had cancer. There is no way a person would stay the same after going through such awful disease. Serkan’s fear spoke louder than anything else, because he’s always been the kind of person to stay miserable and let her go so she doesn’t deal with the burden of being with him. Serkan’s hypochondria spoke louder telling him he was cured but not safe from cancer, and he couldn’t bare going through or putting Eda through that again. Even worse, leave her widowed. Probably the reason he kept postponing their wedding. During treatment he was still vulnerable, having Eda’s support all the way, trying to stay sane with all the mood changes and occasional insensitive behaviour towards her and everybody else. It cannot be put in words by a person that fortunately never had to go through or witness a person with cancer, but all of his “inconsistency” is more than justified. He never did it on purpose, it was the collateral effects of his disease, psychologically and physically speaking. After beating cancer, things seemed to have a bright future until it hadn’t. Serkan’s self sabotage knocked him down again, making him reset back to his old ways, except this time he had much more baggage and traumas than before. He shut everybody out, even the only person that he let in, and drowned in work, obsessed with “becoming immortal” through his projects. He forgot life, he forgot the love of his life. Not because he wanted to, but because his unconscious wanted to protect himself, and her. What if cancer came back? He knew very much of diseases as a person so worried about his health, he knew there were chances that it would come back. He’s gone through it once and barely survived, he’s seen the state he’s put him and Eda’s relationship through, he felt like a burden more than ever before. He didn’t want to hold her back, he didn’t want to have her stuck with him, taking care of his ill self that wasn’t even sure would make through the cancer treatment. He always felt unworthy of her, imagine now. He didn’t want children, because he feared they’d become fatherless. He didn’t want to set a wedding date, because he feared he’d leave his wife a widow. Or not make her happy. And he knew they weren’t happy. Because once he digged back down on his workaholic hole, he didn’t come back up again. It was stronger than him, he kept pushing her away and burying himself deeper. And she closed off just like him, so they both closed off in their own lonely cocoon and started to slowly become strangers again. Until one day he asked her to leave, and she didn’t see a reason to stay.

—

He told her to leave, he told her to stay far away from him because he wanted to protect her, and most selfishly, himself from more potential pain, suffering and heartbreak. He thought it’d be the less hurtful way (just like the plot of the secret about Eda’s parents accident), except he just made it worse for her. It doesn’t mean he’s a monster, a heartless human or an ungrateful bastard as many people are portraying him to be. It makes him human, it makes him a human with fears and insecurities, too aware of his own mortality and how it would affect the people that were dearest to him. Because when you’re sick, not only you go through stuff, the people around you, the people that loves and cares for you also goes through it all with you, to the point it can affect them personally too. He never came around and explained his reasons, because when he closed off his feelings were shut off. He bottled it all up and never said a thing, leaving Eda thinking the absolute worst of him and that still reflects in her hesitance about him 5 years later with an apparent normal Serkan back in her life. Serkan, now fully recovered and back to being himself, finds Eda again and everything he’s been trying to keep hidden, all the suppressed feelings and unfinished business he’s had with her, came back banging. He can’t let her go, he said it himself at that night talk. He can’t because he still needs to say a lot to her, to apologize to her even though it was NOT his fault. NEVER his fault. Nor hers, for leaving.

Serkan beat cancer years ago, but he never went looking for her. We’ve seen enough of their story and Serkan’s fears to know that he’s always felt that he wasn’t enough for her and that he’s brought to her life only pain, so it’s totally understandable why he never reached to her when he was sane again. He wanted her to be happy and free and she would only be able to do that if she was far away from him. And of course, Eda being hurt wouldn’t want to come back, wouldn’t want to keep in touch with him, so she cut ties entirely. She was on her right to not come to him when she found out about the pregnancy, because she knew he still wasn’t him. He was barely fighting for himself, living for himself, caring for himself, how would he do that for a child? But then he comes back… now what? Eda wants to run away from him, afraid he’d hurt her the way he did before. But he’s not that post-cancer Serkan, he still has the scars and the trauma but you can clearly see that he’s back to being the old Robot Bolat. He’s still closed off, but the initial scare and fear of abandonment disappeared with the passing years of him being healthy again. He sees Eda and he wants to be around her again, because he never truly wanted to part ways with her. Eda hides a secret, a secret she’s not right nor wrong to hide, she just figured it was best. And even in the first moments of him being around, it’s understandable that she wanted to hide the fact she has a child to him, as it may be a huge shock and turn of events. She doesn’t trust him, more precisely his reaction, and she’s unsure of what to expect. She needs him to give her a proof that he’s not the same unstable Serkan she witnessed before she left. She needs him to open up, he needs to open up to her. That is just it, the reason none of them could ever move forward, apart of their ever growing and intense love for each other. They still have a lot that was not talked, that was not finished, they didn’t solve their issues, therefore they didn’t heal.

Tell me how can you blame a mother for choosing her child over any possible heartbreak? How can you blame a woman for walking away after being so emotionally drained and not being able to put up with an exhausting relationship for BOTH of them? How can you blame her for not wanting to live that life with him when he wasn’t putting any effort on their relationship or on his fiancée? How could she guess what he was feeling, what he wanted to say, what were the reasons for his behavior if he closed off and never spoke a word?

Tell me how can you blame a traumatized man with so many complexities for closing off and pushing everybody away in order to not hurt them? How can you blame an hypochondriac man for wanting his beloved to be free from any strings attached to him and his disease because he can’t bare the fact he could possibly die and leave her suffering? How can you blame a human being that has gone through such a traumatic disease and invasive treatment as cancer that affects the whole being, physically and mentally, and transforms them into someone vulnerable and afraid? How can you blame this man for acting the way he did when he’s only done that because of all the fears he’s been accumulating since his childhood, his psychological traumas. How can it be his fault?

Serkan would die for Eda if it didn’t mean she would suffer for his loss.

Eda would be unhappy for eternity if it meant she could stay by Serkan’s side.

They would do anything for each other, and at one way or another, they did. Until their relationship deteriorated and they couldn’t keep going on, because they were losing themselves in an endless looping of traumas and pain. They were together but together they couldn’t do the healing, they were so exhausted they couldn’t heal each other nor themselves, it became unhealthy for them. But beware, it WAS NOT any of them’s fault, it qas just how they were living their lives. Their post-traumatic lives.

Sometimes there’s no right or wrong, there are just different point of views of a certain situation that’s so hard to grasp and so difficult to understand unless you’re personally living it. But trying to put yourself in their shoes also would do.

So please, yeter with the Eda AND SERKAN slander. Both were in their own right.

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Thoughts on Eda/Kiraz/Serkan situation

In the group chat related to this show, I previously said that I can in no way, shape or form justify Eda lying about Kiraz. To me, that was such a massive “wrong” that nothing could make it “right”.

But as I was subbing episode 40 (BTw stay tuned for that too, I know it’s a day late and I apologize profusely, but my computer is having issues with Google drive so I will upload it sometime today or tomorrow with my brothers computer), I changed my mind about the whole thing. I’m like You know what though, on second thought I actually don’t mind the writers having Eda keep Kiraz from Serkan. This action of hers make both Serkan and Eda guilty and in the wrong when it comes to their relationship. Had they not done that, then Serkan would be the only “bad guy” in this scenario. But since they have Eda lying about such a massive thing, it makes her just as guilty as him, if not more. Which levels the both of them, and make them even. It’s not like one is a dick and the other one is the innocent victim. They both messed up, and I like that. They both had agency, yet they both made the wrong choices with that agency. Now, they both have to fix what they did to each other. Serkan has to fix the pain and hurt he caused Eda with his behaviour, and Eda has to make up for the five years that was taken away from Serkan as a father. It’s an even playing field.

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Like or reblog if you use or save.

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Tim: God, give me patience.

Jason: I think you meant "give me strength."

Tim: If God gave me strength, you'd all be dead.

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The Jedi voices:

Obi-Wan: These are your final steps, rise and take them.

Anakin: Rey.

Ahsoka: Rey.

Kanan: Rey.

Anakin: Bring back the balance Rey, as I did.

Luminara: Find the light, Rey.

Kanan: You are not alone, Rey.

Yoda: Alone, never have you been.

Qui-Gon: Every Jedi who has ever lived lives in you now.

Anakin: The Force surrounds you.

Aayla: Let it guide you.

Ahsoka: As it guided us.

Mace: Feel the Force flowing through you, Rey.

Kanan: Let it lift you.

Adi: Rise, Rey.

Qui-Gon: We stand behind you.

Old!Obi-Wan: Rey.

Yoda: Rise in the Force.

Kanan: In the heart of a Jedi lies her strength.

Obi-Wan: Rise.

Qui-Gon: Rise.

Luke: Rey, the Force will be with you. Always.

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The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

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#ShadowFam #Shadowhunters #IsaiahMustafa #Camera

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This is bad...really bad. (at Descalabrado, Puerto Rico) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuM3CIiFQ7V/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=d8irvvc3wksg

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Prepare your tissues because it's gonna be one HELL of a ride. This just make me cry. 🖤 • • • • • #ShadowFam #ShadowhuntersLegacy #shadowhuntersseason3 #Clace #Sizzy #Malec #jonathanmorgenstern #shadowfamily #shadowhunters #TheFinalHunt #shadowhunters3btrailer #katmcnamara #domsherwood #emeraudetoubia #albertorosende #harryshumjr #isaiahmustafa #matthewdaddario #lukebaines #lukegarroway #claryfray #fairchild #jaceherondale #aleclightwood #isabellelightwood #simonlewis #seeliequeen #clizzy #parabatai • • • #Repost @emeraude (@get_repost) ・・・ The final episodes of @ShadowhuntersTV begin Monday, February 25 on @Freeform. #ShadowhuntersLegacy https://www.instagram.com/p/BtUKMSWFudh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18o3tmsr9wjxi

#shadowfam #shadowhunterslegacy #shadowhuntersseason3 #clace #sizzy #malec #jonathanmorgenstern #shadowfamily #shadowhunters #thefinalhunt #shadowhunters3btrailer #katmcnamara #domsherwood #emeraudetoubia #albertorosende #harryshumjr #isaiahmustafa #matthewdaddario #lukebaines #lukegarroway #claryfray #fairchild #jaceherondale #aleclightwood #isabellelightwood #simonlewis #seeliequeen #clizzy #parabatai #repost

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By: @keddy023 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs6O2rxgkLX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17ppzgrfquzdo

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By: @keddy023 (at Peñuelas, Puerto Rico) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs6OlzIAPHN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hurp64er11wl

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Riverdale Collection! #riverdale #funkooriginal #funkopop #funkoriverdale #bughead #varchie https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs08pXTFoxf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1o15oz9dgw88d

#riverdale #funkooriginal #funkopop #funkoriverdale #bughead #varchie

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📚 #theshadowhunterschronicles #banechronicles #themortalinstruments #theinfernaldevices #thedarkartifices #talesofshadowhunteracademy #shadowhunterscodex #shadowhunterslegacy #shadowfamily #shadowfam #cassandraclare #cassieclare #crazyrichasians #kevinkwanbooks #chinarichgirlfriend #richpeopleproblems https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsy9Nk3F1eQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=16cxse4tbtekt

#theshadowhunterschronicles #banechronicles #themortalinstruments #theinfernaldevices #thedarkartifices #talesofshadowhunteracademy #shadowhunterscodex #shadowhunterslegacy #shadowfamily #shadowfam #cassandraclare #cassieclare #crazyrichasians #kevinkwanbooks #chinarichgirlfriend #richpeopleproblems