vaults-n-wyverns

[vaults-n-wyverns]

There’s a theory that early Europeans started saying “brown one” or “honey-eater” instead of “bear” to avoid summoning them, and similarly my friend has started calling Alexa “the faceless woman” because saying her true name awakens her from her slumber

English has an avoidance register used in the presence of certain respected animals, which sounds fancy until you realize it’s spelling out w-a-l-k and t-r-e-a-t in front of the dog.

Mx. Leah Velleman on twitter

[vaults-n-wyverns]

Dinner, dog, duel: Jonathan Sims, Cecil Palmer, Terezi

Excuse me?

[vaults-n-wyverns]

I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that your favorite D&D Character isn't just you, but fantasy

#d&d #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons #d&d 5th edition #5e #dungeon master #fifth edition #dnd #dnd shenanigans #dnd memes #d&d shenanigans #d&d memes

[vaults-n-wyverns]

Me: "I have planned out the BBEG of this campaign. He will strike terror into the hearts of my players!"

Cool new CR 41 Monster that I found: Can make swords magically appear out of the ground

Me, VIOLENTLY SWEEPING EVERYTHING OFF MY DESK WITH MY ARMS: "NEVERMIND"

#d&d #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons #d&d 5th edition #5e #dungeon master #fifth edition #dm #dnd #dnd shenanigans #d&d shenanigans #dnd memes #dnd meme #d&d memes #d&d meme #dm memes #dungeonmaster #dm things #dm stuff #dm shenanigans

[vaults-n-wyverns]

if you support donald trump unfollow me. full stop. hopefully no trump supporters are dumb enough to think they’re welcome here, but seriously. gtfo my page. block me while you’re at it.

[vaults-n-wyverns]

WHY AM I SO BLIND

I've been making my character, Oremil, as a backup backup character for so many campaigns. BUT

There's SUCH A BETTER OPTION! I COULD JUST MAKE MAFWY, HIS PET RAT, AS A CHARACTER!

It would have to be a setting with a Ratfolk race, or one that has Shifters, but STILL!

I miss that sassy rat with his Boston accent

#d&d #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons #d&d 5th edition #5e #dungeon master #fifth edition #dnd #d&d ideas #dnd character #d&d 5e character #d&d character #character idea #dnd original character #dnd shifter #d&d shifter #ratfolk #dnd ratfolk #d&d ratfolk #dnd ideas #dnd inspiration #d&d inspo #dnd inspo

[vaults-n-wyverns]

No, that's completely unrealistic

Things I Include In My D&D Games That My Players Don't Know About

If they hold a wooden bowl and walk into a locked door, they'll phase through it like it's Skyrim

If they attempt to jump backwards up a set of stairs, with a high enough dex roll, they will launch up the stairs, through the roof, and into the upper atmosphere

There is an Anti-Tarrasque.

Trolls have 12 different blood colors, with only 2 existing in aquatic troll varieties.

If they enter a new area fast enough, they can catch the birds flying without moving anywhere.

Trees DON'T make sounds when they fall and no one's around, there's just no one around that can prove that

Lazer guns exist, they're just shy

If you get knocked prone on a sloped surface, there is a 1% chance of clipping into the terrain

There's a 1% chance of the textures in someone's face not loading correctly

[vaults-n-wyverns]

Creating Deities and Pantheons

Creating Deities

Divine Portfolios

A deity has a certain realm that it lords over called a divine portfolio. A portfolio contains one or more species, places, things, or ideas that explain what the deity is all about. For instance, the Greek god Poseidon’s divine portfolio would include the seas, storms, waterborne travel, and horses.

Minor deities will only have one item in their portfolio, but major ones could have many. Further, a major deity that wished to delegate its power, perhaps to one of its children, could bestow one of the items in its portfolio onto another deity. Perhaps one deity goes to war with another in an attempt to seize an aspect of another deity’s portfolio for themselves.

New deities could even be created by filling a new role if a divine idea is not currently in any other deity’s portfolio.

Generally, the more power a deity has, the more broad the aspects in their portfolio will be. Likewise, lesser deities will have more specific aspects in their portfolio. For instance, a god of nature will be more powerful than a god of trees.

When creating your own pantheon of gods, try to divide up aspects into deities’ divine portfolios bearing all of this in mind.

Holy Symbol

A deity should have some sort of holy symbol that clerics can use for a spellcasting focus, but a symbol is more than that. A symbol lets mortals rally beneath it and recognize the deity’s followers. It a deity’s free advertisement to their people.

The symbol of a deity should reflect their portfolio in some way, as well as their alignment. It should be something unique that is easy to recognize, but also easy to replicate.

Favored Weapon

Many deities have some sort of weapon that they use and favor more than others. The deity will almost always use this weapon when manifested as an avatar. Wielding the same weapon as one’s deity shows an extra step of devotion to them, even if you aren’t a cleric to that god.

Random Portfolios

When creating your own deities, roll on the Random Portfolio Aspects table multiple times to find a random divine aspect to populate their portfolio. Some aspects defer you to another table to find a more specific aspect.

You can also use these tables as a jumping-off point to create your own portfolios and aspects, as there is no way to have a complete and exhaustive list.

Pantheons

Pantheons are groups of deities. Your setting could have one or several pantheons. Perhaps you include pantheons from a variety of settings and incorporate them all in one place. Maybe different kingdoms or countries worship different pantheons, or just group the same deities in different ways. Our own world has many religions, each with their own god or sets of gods, so why can’t your setting?

While it is possible to have a monotheistic setting where only one deity exists, polytheism tends to be more interesting and supportive. Multiple deities allow for players to choose who their character believes in. If they are a divine caster, they can choose where their powers come from. This choice affects a player’s character and creates additional roleplaying opportunities as they confer with folks of the same or different religion.

Types of Pantheons

Some settings may have multiple pantheons. Here are some pantheons that can easily exist in the same setting.

Racial Pantheon. A race or species could have a whole group of gods to worship that are unique to them. For instance, the elves of your setting may worship their own set of deities. People might commonly refer to the “elf gods” or “dwarf gods” in such a circumstance.

Aspect Pantheon. A broad aspect or domain normally placed in divine portfolios may have its own pantheon. For instance, your setting may have a pantheon of death gods who take on aspects like death, undeath, afterlife, martyrdom, murder, plague, famine, and drought. All the minor aspects should be related to one greater aspect.

Regional Pantheon. In your setting, a certain region like a kingdom, country, or continent may worship different deities and have an entirely different pantheon that hold sway in their lands. Each region could have a pantheon all their own.

Religious Pantheon. Many religions exist in our own world, some of which have their own pantheons of deities. Different pantheons could have arisen in your setting from religions that developed separately. This works especially well if your deities are created through mortal belief.

Creating Pantheons

Myths. Deities in a pantheon often take on different responsibilities in running the universe, or at least take part in its history or its creation. Try to come up with myth surrounding each deity that explain why that deity exists. A deity should have some significance or importance within any pantheon you create, and your pantheon should cover a broad spectrum of created things.

Deific Relations. Deities should have complex relationships with one another to create a robust pantheon. Pick one or more from the Divine Relationships table when deciding how two deities relate, or roll randomly. Trying to justify how conflicting or unusual relationships occurred can create unique and interesting ideas. Is one deity’s son also their lover? Don’t be afraid to tread in the realm of mythological fantasy or dream-logic here.

Remember, existing myths are likely far stranger than anything you can come up with. A Norse cow licked a god out of primordial ice. In Greece, Athena was born of Zeus’s cracked skull after he tried to eat her. The Egyptian ferry to the afterlife has a mast that is the phallus of a fertility baboon-god. So you can get pretty unusual with your myths.

Pantheon Metagame. When designing a pantheon, you should also consider satisfying different elements that exist in the game. Each player could very well worship a different deity that supports their worldview in some way.

A good start is creating gods with various alignments, not just good and evil. With nine possible alignments, you can create some interesting deities. If you are making an entirely random deity, you can roll from the Deity Alignment table to determine the deity’s alignment.

Another game-related thing to consider is creating deities that will cater to existing character archetypes, such as mages, naturalists, outcasts, spiritualists, and warriors. Many pantheons have deities that would be worshiped by different classes. Try to provide deities that are tempting for each archetype to believe in, or ensure that some of your deities are more universal so many different classes would be interested in them. If you are creating a random deity, you can roll from the Archetype Patron table.

[vaults-n-wyverns]

Sorry for disappearing, I was busy being an edgy player character and burning down orphanages!

I'm back from jail now

#d&d #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons #d&d 5th edition #5e #fifth edition #dnd #dnd shenanigans #d&d shenanigans

[vaults-n-wyverns]

Crabs amaze me. They’re the perfect life form, a tank made of legs and living hate-armor. It’s not just about their physicality, though; it’s the soul of the crab. See, no crab in the bottomless history of the sea has ever questioned itself, doubted itself, worried, or been afraid. A crab is pure motion. A crab is pure id and unrelenting forward force. Crabs invented the word violence and they will scuttle on the surface of the world while the red giant of Sol creeps closer to devour everywhere we’ve ever known. They will look into the sky and clack their claws and there will be no fear. 

[vaults-n-wyverns]

And, fun fact, it was the DM trolling us! The people who built and set up these monoliths were set up by the youtuber "I Did A Thing", because they volunteered to do something to advertise a new Australia netflix show! (Apparently there aren't that many Australian Netflix shows, so it was a big deal)

It honestly is pretty normal for him to do shit like this. He's done PLENTY of crazy shit just because-- Such as training mockingbirds, introducing lizards INTO HIS HOUSE to eat spiders, and making a horrific saw beyblade (which causes him to find the remains of an illegal weed growing operation)

Source: https://youtu.be/j-pKKM6CXr0

[vaults-n-wyverns]

One of My Players: "Yeah, my character's parents are dead. Murder, the usual"

Me: Aight, can work with that

A Different Player: "Actually, my parents are both alive! And both of my siblings are alive as well"

Me: NOW THIS! THIS I CAN WORK WITH!!

#d&d #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons #d&d 5th edition #5e #dungeon master #fifth edition #dm #dnd #dm memes #dm stuff #dm shenanigans #dnd shenanigans #dnd stuff #d&d stuff #d&d shenanigans #pathfinder #pulp cthulhu #coc #call of cthulhu #ttrpg stuff #ttrpg #ttrpg memes

[vaults-n-wyverns]

Excuse me? Platypi don't have WHAT?!

The idea that an animal lacks the capability of certain mental capabilities because it doesn’t have the parts of the brain humans use for that process…

Well by that logic platypi should all be dead because they lack stomachs.

Not a perfect analogy since platypi lost their stomachs, and for the animals we are talking about simply never evolved them.

Different tools in evolutions toolbox can be used to get the same result.

Another part of the brain could be performing that process.

[vaults-n-wyverns]

The Scaly-Foot Snail ingests the toxic magma-fumes of hydrothermal vents and grows a coat of organic iron plates

cult_of_zetas

While the snails do live at hydrothermal vents with lots of toxic minerals in the water around them, they don’t eat the minerals themselves. They are hosts for symbiotic bacteria that use those toxic minerals to grow, and the snails live off the energy and organic carbon produced by the bacteria.

It’s not entirely clear what the purpose of the scaly foot structures is, but it could be a part of the way that the bacteria detoxify the poisonous minerals. If bacteria that “eat” metals don’t come up with a way to keep their cells from becoming encased in the waste product of their metal metabolism, they die. So many metal-eating bacteria make fancy structures out of that metal waste, complexed with organic components. It’s a super cool way to live, but fairly difficult to study.

[vaults-n-wyverns]

Excuse me, but are you an angel?

You know a relationship is good if you're competing to have more dice than the other person.

(my girlfriend has 43 sets, I have 42 sets. I'm so close to having more than her, but I'm so picky with what I buy)

[vaults-n-wyverns]

Something More DMs Should Do:

If Tabaxi exist in your world, and you or your players have pet cats

Make the cats Tabaxi NPCs

Like, one of my campaigns had my cat, Ranger, as a chubby trader (that my players sadly never got to meet)

(Pictures of Ranger as cat tax)

#d&d #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons #d&d 5th edition #5e #dungeon master #fifth edition #dm #dnd #d&d ideas #dm ideas #dm stuff #dnd5e #dnd stuff #d&d stuff #dnd tabaxi #dnd 5e #dnd talk #d&d talk #dnd ideas

[vaults-n-wyverns]

You know a relationship is good if you're competing to have more dice than the other person.

(my girlfriend has 43 sets, I have 42 sets. I'm so close to having more than her, but I'm so picky with what I buy)

#d&d #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons #d&d 5th edition #5e #dungeon master #fifth edition #dm #dnd #dnd shenanigans #dnd dice #d&d shenanigans #d&d dice #dice goblin #dice collecting