typicalorchdorks

[typicalorchdorks]

person: practice every day you eat

me: *starves*

#same #orchestra #orchestra humor #orch humor #music nerd #queue

[typicalorchdorks]

Trying to hit a note in 7th position

#basically #orchestra #orchestra humor #queue

[typicalorchdorks]

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

Being a violinist

PROS: •good finger dexterity

•tiny fingers

•toned arms (especially if you play fiddle music like damn)

•beautiful instrument

•you’re automatically smart if you play the violin. don’t ask why. it’s apparently a stereotype. just go with it.

•kids love you regardless. play something they recognize and they will love you.

•backpack cases

•you develop good hand-eye coordination and enhanced muscle memory

•covers sound 10000000x better when they’re played on violin. 100% confirmed by scientists.

•you get gigs VERY often when you’re for hire (seriously when did people get so demanding for violinists/fiddlers?)

•jam sessions!!!

•dexterity in fingers = 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

•music stores are your best friend

•electric violins are BAD ASS.

•violins are so diverse. they can be in jazz, bluegrass, classical, blues, swing, folk, gypsy, burlesque, ragtime, and basically every style of music.

•good vibrato sounds like heaven

•just basically a fun instrument to play. seriously.

CONS: •calluses. calluses. calluses.

•HICKEYS. Hickeys. Yes they are a thing, don’t look at me like that.

•*shoulder rest decides to fly out from instrument while playing*

•backache. arm ache. backache. fingers are sore. neck is sore. everything hurts.

•"Can you play Beethoven?“

•don’t even bother going anywhere with customs. they’ll hold you back because your instrument case looks "suspicious”.

•*bridge decides to snap out from under strings while practicing*

•"Can you play Devil Went Down to Georgia?“

•no matter how hard you try to make that fourth octave C sound pretty, it’s still going to sound like you stuck a fork up a baby bird’s ass.

•"can you teach me how to play it?”

•doesn’t matter if you rosin your bow; slurring to the open E string will make a godawful squeaking noise.

•"I promise I won’t break it"

•watching movies/TV with a violinist makes you cringe because it’s obvious they’re not a real violinist. (seriously, when they’re playing whole note open G they’re playing eighth notes on the E string. what the fuck.)

•"I thought violin and fiddle were two different instruments!“

•that song may sound cool, but don’t bother learning it when it’s in the key of C#.

•up bow. down bow. down bow. up bow. down bow. up bow. down bow. Wait, fuck. *erase*

•"no, I did not slaughter a horse to make my own violin bow.”

•that soreness in your wrist is from your countless attempts to perfect that vibrato. oops.

•tuner? check. shoulder rest? check. mute? check. rosin? check. bows? check. instrument in tune? check. sheet music? check. Advil? yes.

•you’re automatically a stuck-up snob if you play violin. that’s also a stereotype. don’t ask why. I have no idea.

•when your string breaks, it’s the equivalent to having your life flash before your eyes.

•electric violins and their equipment are worth your entire bank account. js.

•"play this song! right now!“

•*bow hits microphone stand*

•"sorry, I couldn’t hear you since my instrument is always in my ear.”

•everything hurts.

#especially the violin hickey #omfg the violin hickey #violinist #violin #fiddle #orchestra #orch #orchestra humor #music humor #queue

[typicalorchdorks]

every talented musician ever: warm up with low, long tones!

me: *stumbles through a 2 octave scale in 5 seconds, sneezes, hits head on a brick wall somewhere"

#orchestra #orch #orchestra humor #orch dorks

[typicalorchdorks]

it's been a while? but i'm back after a while and i'll try to have more regular posts!

[typicalorchdorks]

420 more like 440 lol stay in tune, guys

#orchestra #orchestra humor #orch dorks

[typicalorchdorks]

i think a big thing that disconcerts adults about learning new skills is that learning as an adult means you are very aware of how bad you are at the beginning in a way children aren’t.

i picked up the saxophone when i was 11 and played until i was about 17. by the end of it i was first chair in our highest ensemble, a district honor band player, etc. but at the beginning – and this is important – i was bad. for the first year or so, i had no rhythm, i couldn’t make my tongue line up with my fingers, i was consistently sharp, etc. etc. other kids actually made fun of me for my lack of skill.

but 11 year old me didn’t care. 11 year old me practiced, but she also thought that being able to play the pink panther made her incredible (i shudder in retrospect). i mean, i was aware i wasn’t a master, but my skill level didn’t deter me from wailing out those notes in a way that i’m sure had my band director questioning his career decisions.

right now, i’m trying to pick up the guitar. it’s a very different instrument from the saxophone, and i struggle a lot with things like strumming patterns and barre chords. and sometimes i don’t want to play, because i know i’m bad at guitar. and sometimes i beat myself up when stumbling through a poor acoustic rendition of Everybody Wants to Rule the World because it’s not how i want it to sound. and it’s made even more frustrating because i can navigate the saxophone so smoothly.

but then i remember that i have to think like a kid. i might not be the best at guitar by any stretch of the imagination, but every little bit of progress is still progress. humility is a big part of learning, but if you treat a practice session like your own private concert, it becomes so much more fun, even if you’re bad like i am.  when you’re first picking up a skill, whether it be an instrument, or a language, or a fine art, no one is expecting you to be the yo yo ma of that thing. forget about how little you know about the skill and think instead about how much you have to learn – that’s fun! do your best!!

[typicalorchdorks]

Hubert von Herkomer (1849-1914), Franz Liszt at the piano, 1904

[typicalorchdorks]

me: i'm bad at music :(

someone who's clearly bad at music: you're bad at music

me: EXCUSE ME HOE

[typicalorchdorks]

So in our orchestra’s solo and ensemble we were playing Danse Macabre by Saint Saëns so we made this in order to get into the mood of the piece. (Btw I think it worked cus we got superior lol)

[submitted by nope-piss-of-life]

[typicalorchdorks]

friendly reminder that all positions in the orchestra are important and being second, third, fourth etc does not decrease your value.

[typicalorchdorks]

String Quartet.

[typicalorchdorks]

My cat has great taste in music

[typicalorchdorks]

Please sign this! It's super quick and literally took me less than a minute!

Musician followers, THIS IS IMPORTANT and it DIRECTLY AFFECTS YOU. I am linking a petition to fight defunding of the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities. If the NEA were defunded as Trump suggested, student musicians, professional musicians, and even audiences of the arts would suffer from the massive elimination of grants. This is huge. If you’re a supporter of arts funding in public schools, this is your chance to make a difference. This is happening now and it is important. Please sign the petition to support grants for orchestra, jazz, opera, chamber music, etc. both in the professional and student world!!

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/do-not-defund-nea-or-neh-0

#petition #trump #potustrump #potus45 #sign this petition #please #music #orchestra #band #choir

[typicalorchdorks]

me being stupid on snapchat

[typicalorchdorks]

It’s like you’re juicing an orange and no juice comes out, but suddenly all the juice comes out.

My band director when describing how the saxophones were playing (via thingsmymusicprofessorssay)

[typicalorchdorks]

bach: *falls down *

bach: looks like ive BAROQUE my leg ahaha

bach: i need medical attention