trashassassin

[trashassassin]

Tumblr Live? More like Tumblr Dead !

[trashassassin]

[trashassassin]

take some time this week to archive online content you care about, it could disappear or get harder to find at any point! youtube channels, blogs, images, personal chat logs, you name it

[trashassassin]

#haiku bot back at it again

[trashassassin]

the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”

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"but at least they kept my mind off everything."

#his hair is so floppy #who authorized this

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she wears short skirts, i have the high ground

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that hotel california comic makes me lose my shit every single time & i’m so thankful for it honestly

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the impulse to hide what I'm doing at my computer still sits so deep even tho I'm literally never looking at anything objectionable , the door will open and I'll hurry to close the page like oh fuck no one can know I'm looking at the Wikipedia page for the Balkans

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In light of the current spam bot epidemic, it’s so refreshing to get a follow and see it’s from someone with a normal, trustworthy name, like “pikachus-third-nipple”

[trashassassin]

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

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at dinner people were talking about how much they cried during their weddings and my one cousin said she was SO determined not to cry, made it through the entire ceremony, but then during the reception her husband leaned over and asked 'hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have Night Meats?' and she went 'night meats?' and started sobbing because that was so romantic to her

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me, copy pasting the same joke on tumblr, 3 discord servers, 2 dms, and a group chat: I am doing amazing. I am doing fantastic. I am going to get a good grade in funny, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

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PLS IM BEGGING FOR THE LEON KENNEDY RATS TO COME OUT AND WRITE FICS LIKE PLS THERES NOT ENOUGH AND I KNOW THAT SO MANY OF YOU HAVE BRILLANT MINDS I SWEAR I WILL EAT UP EVERY FIC YOU PUT OUT PLSSSSSSS

#👀

[trashassassin]

A moment of light during the siege

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I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS