theokaydays

[theokaydays]

The reason I like Tumblr over every other social media, is that it's not a race to the top, trying to impress strangers with fake glamorous lifestyles. It's fellow basket-cases high-fiving each other for remembering to drink water and get the bare minimum of sleep.

[theokaydays]

“Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness.”

— Mandy Hale

[theokaydays]

My childhood trauma didn't make me stronger. it made me a people pleaser. it made me forgive way too much. it made me not speak when i'm supposed to. it made me an extreme empath.

[theokaydays]

Remember that you must allow people to love you, to be kind to you, to help you. Not everyone is going to be toxic for you, some people just genuinely want to be a part of your life, but you to feel all this love coming your way, you have to believe you deserve it. Let people love you. Let them look out for you, care for you, don't push them away. Let them stay.

[theokaydays]

i’m going to scream i’m so bored all the time but nothing interests me and i don’t have the energy to do anything like i have a list in the back of my head of all this stuff i want to accomplish but when i think about actually doing any of it my brain just like hits a wall and suddenly it sounds like the most unappealing thing in the world

[theokaydays]

As someone who has been living with severe suicidal ideation my entire life I wanna tell you all something, you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. People will say it’s a bad idea to live for external things because they’re temporary, and it’s true living for yourself is ideal but if you’re not to that point yet that’s ok too. 

I’ve lived for my dog for the past 4 years, before that I lived for my snakes, before that I lived for my cat. You can live for whatever needs you and whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets, live for your animal crossing town. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come when you can live for yourself.

[theokaydays]

me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

[theokaydays]

Even if I didn’t have a solid plan, in the back of my head, I always assumed I’d kill myself.

Now I’m an adult and people my age have their lives in order and I’m stuck here, confused, because I never planned to be alive and I’m so far behind.

I feel like I’ll never catch up.

[theokaydays]

Dont be fooled by scarcity on the dating scene . Or friend scene.. lots of people out there who will love u and make your life lovelier… so many people… just be yourself, you’ll find them..!

[theokaydays]

They should invent a type of life where you don’t have to work to survive

[theokaydays]

“My head is currently a horrible place to be.”

— (via swimming-to-drown)

[theokaydays]

i should be allowed to kill myself when im on my period and then come back to life later

[theokaydays]

literally feels like a myth that there are people who don't struggle with basic tasks like getting out of bed or going to the shops or seeing a friend for coffee. how does everything not feel like a painstaking chore for them. how do they have the physical and emotional energy every single day

[theokaydays]

i said this once a long time ago on a different blog during a different time in my life, but i think, tonight, is a good night for it to be said once more:

kindness is an action, not an emotion. you can choose to be kind, you can choose who you gift that kindness to. you can fuel it with anger, you can fuel it with rage, you can fuel it with joy and sorrow and love. it can be awe-inspiring, it can be simple, but i think, in the world we live in, to choose kindness, above all else, is the most radical thing of all. 

[theokaydays]

every time someone talks about someone "faking disability to live on welfare" or anything to that effect i think about how my mom worked in law and directly knew of a case of a guy who had terminal brain cancer with an estimated few months to live and got rejected the first time he applied for disability income. like, he was 100% going to die and that wasn't disabled enough to not have to jump through a million hoops and get lawyers involved. non-disabled people "living off of welfare" is such a non issue because i cannot bring myself to care about the like, 3 people who maybe successfully do it compared to the thousands of people rejected who need aid

[theokaydays]

i knew from a young age i was weird and off putting and unlovable

[theokaydays]

are you ever like damn why is literally everyone else scared of openly communicating and being direct and truthful and honest