thedailykit
Daily Kit
16. Aspiring Human. A collection of thoughts and ramblings.
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171210
So...today didn't really go as planned.
I was supposed to attend Mini Comic Con with a really great friend of mine. This is something we've been planning for quite some time, maybe even months, and I was beyond excited. Yet as I went to bed last night, I was told I needed to do some last minute work on an assignment. Crap.
I was pretty irritated by this development for quite some time, hell I'm still pretty bitter about having missed out on a fun day with a friend. BUT! The day was not a total failure.
While I had been looking forward to Comic Con for a multitude of reasons, a more recent one had been that this past week had been really shitty, and I needed the convention to help remedy my gross week. So when I was told I couldn't go, I was upset not just because I wanted to drool over comics and art and cosplay...but because I was no longer able to escape the general crappiness of my week. Pretty unfortunate right?
And yet, I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome of today. While I didn't get to experience what could only be considered the greatest convention with one of my best friends, I got something equally as rewarding.
A conversation.
When the work and the filming was over, my partner and I sat on the floor in the middle of the mall and just t a l k e d. Dozens of minutes spent just sharing experiences and opinions and outlooks...it was phenomenal. As someone who thrives on conversation, lives for one on one deep discussions...something like this was, in a lot of ways, just as rewarding as Comic Con would have been. It was just as refreshing as the convention, and gave a way to recharge my batteries. In the end, I still got what I desperately needed; a fresh beginning.
So while I'm still sad I missed out on Comic Con, and I didn't get to spend time with a great friend, I still got to be part of something special in its own right. It wasn't what I wanted, but it was what I n e e d e d.
A toast, to having things not go your way, to missing out on so many great things...but still sharing a beautiful moment with someone anyway.
To not always getting what you want, but somehow always getting what you need
~Kit
171210
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171209
Another day rolls in, just to roll out again.
Today was tiring, for no good reason honestly, but I can’t really complain. It’s amazing how if you start your day with a win, with one small thing that makes you happy, the rest of the day immediately becomes more bearable. For me, that was ribbon.
Yes yes, I am an incredibly large nerd, getting excited over ribbon, but hear me out. I make a lot of things with ribbon...and by a lot of things, I mean chokers XD. I recently experienced a bout of inspiration to make a handful of chokers, the majority of which incorporated black ribbon. And what didn’t I have? You guessed it...Black ribbon.
So yes, while it sounds incredibly stupid, the fact that I was able to start my day with a very small but very crucial purchase of black ribbon...well, let’s just say my somewhat shitty day became not so bad. Some might even call it a small success.
Cheers, to finding things, no matter how small, that bring you illogical amounts of joy. Oh, and black ribbon XD.
~Kit
171209
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171208
Prom: A Question
The past couple of months, my mum’s been harassing me about prom. I know I know...I’m not even halfway through the year and prom talk has already begun. Let me live XD.
As a child, I was pretty excited about prom. As the perfect mix of tomboy and girly girl, the concept of dressing up and experiencing this ball-like evening was absolutely fascinating. I’d seen all the pictures from my siblings’ proms, seen how exciting the whole thing seemed to be. I was pretty hyped. Not to mention, I’d been promised my sister’s prom dress...a dress that I’d been absolutely in love with. As a child, prom seemed pretty cool.
As I aged, I became significantly more brooding and significantly more invested in pants, and naturally the magic of prom kind of just...wore off. As time went on, I couldn’t really see myself participating in that kind of thing. There was even a time where I firmly believed I wouldn’t attend at all. Something that I only decided against recently. Which brings me, I suppose, to what I wanted to talk about. For some reason completely beyond my comprehension, I suddenly find myself completely and utterly -
- E X C I T E D F O R P R O M.
Okay so I may have exaggerated just a little bit, but I will admit to being at least a little excited. For a long time I’d been dragging my heels about the whole thing, but in the past couple weeks, I’ve found myself maybe even somewhat looking forward to it. Even with my mum nagging me about needing to find a dress, needing to coordinate it with my date’s tie...even with all of the pressure that prom undeniably puts on everyone’s shoulders...I’m actually kind of excited.
In a completely uncharacteristic fashion, I spent my evening scouring through Pinterest, pinning dress after beautiful dress. A simple conversation in french class, a simple picture of a friend’s prom dress, was all it took to inspire me to get off my lazy butt and get excited. It’s incredibly odd to suddenly want to experience something you’ve been ignoring for so long, yet as I look over all of my crazy pins, I can’t deny that I’m having fun. Turns out there a lot of beautiful dresses on the internet XD and on top of that, I actually like quite a few of them. Who’d have guessed?
Prom is, in a way, supposed to be a celebration of your successes as a student and blah blah blah but honestly, it’s also a way to connect and celebrate with your friends one last time before the world as you know it hypothetically ends. And while I still don’t overly care for all of the bells and whistles and extremes that prom carries with it...I’m finally looking forward to this final hoorah. I guess the time finally came for me to quit being a total Scrooge.
A toast, to prom and all the hell that comes with it. And hopefully a few beautiful moments as well. After all, this is the most beautiful moment in life.
~Kit
171208
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171206
In an ironic change of topic, I present to you my thoughts on the importance of good friends.
I have this friend, I suppose some would call him an acquaintance, that I sometimes whinge about my problems to. We aren’t super close, I would be surprised if we ever were, honestly. But this friend is someone with whom I’ve shared a lot of my personal issues with, and him with me. I know it sounds weird, and it probably is. But that’s a topic for another time.
As of recent, I’ve had to sit with a lot of crap on my shoulders, and that’s lead me to begin to struggle with some other things as well. Usually in this situation I’d just sit someone down and rant my little butt off...but this “thing” has never felt like something I could talk to real people about. Something that was reserved for anonymous forums and secret journal entries. Which is all good and dandy...until you need support. I think I’ve learned the hard way that journal entries don’t give very good hugs.
But I decided yesterday, completely on a whim, to talk to this friend about it. I figured there was probably no harm in sharing my troubles, and if there was well, oh well. So I shared. And man once the floodgates were opened, they were O P E N. And let me tell you, I feel refreshed.
To have something weigh on your heart so heavily, to be so overwhelmed but feel completely incapable of sharing these things with the people around you...it’s pretty damn hard, if I do say so myself. I lot of my reasons for not feeling comfortable talking about this particular “thing” was due to a lack of confidence that people would understand where I was coming from, or wouldn’t understand why something so...insignificant would bother me so much. I knew that talking about it would open me up to a lot of questions, ones that I wasn’t prepared to answer at the time, so I never did. I didn’t want to alienate myself from the people that are important to me, didn’t want to risk so much with something so...small.
But after last night, I feel better. Not just because I’ve gotten this thing off my chest, but because I feel like I’m better prepared, better equipped to talk to people about this thing. Perhaps this friend’s reaction was one in a million, and no one else I share these troubles with will understand in the way that he did, but it was a good start, a clean slate. I expected it to go kind of badly, expected to regret my decision to share this part of myself with someone, that I would leave the conversation with even more desire to keep this thing hidden. But I didn’t. The exact opposite. And that conversation has provided a hope that future conversations may swing the same way, that it may just be that easy every time. I know in my heart that that can’t be true, that it won’t ever really be that easy, but for now I’m hopeful. For now I see the light at the end of this seemingly endless tunnel.
I feel...b e t t e r.
A toast, to blunt honestly and hopeful beginnings.
~ Kit
171206
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171205
Welcome to Tuesday...and a very shitty Tuesday at that.
You know that feeling when you’ve been looking forward to something all day, maybe even a couple days, and the whole thing just turns to shit? That’s pretty much where I’m at right now. Amazing how the anticipation of something can make you happier than the thing itself. There has to be a metaphor in there somewhere...I’ll figure it out later.
I suppose my question is...where do people get off on insulting their friends? I understand the whole premise of a ‘roast’...Hell, I’ve served some pretty good roasts myself. But sometimes...sometimes people just disguise insults as roasts and suddenly you have an open window to say whatever the hell you want. Ummm no? Maybe I’m old-fashioned in my thinking, but I don’t really see why that would be chill. Especially when you’re roasting someone on something you’re already aware bugs them. Ugh. I don’t know.
I want to say that I’m beyond all of this crap, that I’m capable of taking a roast at face-value and not feeling anything beyond that...but here I am. My ego is severely bruised, and I’m honestly feeling pretty shitty. I enjoy being roasted, enjoy the way it allows me to laugh w i t h people about myself without it just being them laughing a t me. But today...today was a bit much. And I’m honestly really bitter about it.
You know that feeling when you’ve passed the point of no return, and you just want to let go and let off steam and just stop everything? I was there today. I’ve been there for the past few hours. I absolutely hate how hurt I’m feeling about this, but I guess that’s just the way life is rolling my way today. And to start a day off overwhelmed...only to end it a million times worse...well, that’s what I call a pretty shit day my friend.
A toast, to better days & better friends.
Sincerely,
~ Kit
171205
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Intro to the Daily Kit
Hello there!
You don’t know me yet...but my name’s Kit. Just your average student struggling to get through life and try to manage the constant slings and arrows of the every day. I don’t feel that many people will follow this blog, nor do I really intend for it to pick up too much traction. Honestly, my goals for this blog are resigned to voicing my thoughts.
I’ve been keeping a journal for the past couple of years, a safe place where I could voice my thoughts. Unfortunate thing about a journal is that you kind of know going into it that no one will ever have any real chance of hearing these thoughts you’ve so eloquently written down. And so, while I know barely anyone will ever see this...
Welcome, to the Daily Kit, where I will share my thoughts and feelings in a journal-like fashion and hope that someone, somewhere, reads it.
Let’s begin, shall we?
~Kit
171204
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