thecardiganunderthebed

[thecardiganunderthebed]

Everyone's comfort character are either mass murderers, mentally unstable or just straight up dead or all of these. there is no inbetween

[thecardiganunderthebed]

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

[thecardiganunderthebed]

i love gifs that don’t loop. they had a story to tell and now they’re done

[thecardiganunderthebed]

[thecardiganunderthebed]

[thecardiganunderthebed]

my gender is like that and you can do that for you

ok?!??!?!

Type "my gender is" on your phone and let your phone finish the sentence, then tag your moots to keep the chain going, I'll go first.

My gender is a little bit more intense than I thought I could have done

@mirukosbitchywife @get-junpeid

[thecardiganunderthebed]

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[thecardiganunderthebed]

[thecardiganunderthebed]

So proud of my mother for doing her own research after I sent her that meme. A sign she hung in her car window.

[thecardiganunderthebed]

what life is truly about ^^

#snoopy my beloved

[thecardiganunderthebed]

he hehehe ! you found my post!!

ur pretty.

no take backs no take backs you have to deal with it

[thecardiganunderthebed]

i watched dead poets society and haven’t been able to stop thinking about it

#dead poets society

[thecardiganunderthebed]

My turn (probably won't work since I have like 2 people who look forward to me posting) but

If this gets 100 notes I'll finally start learning the piano pieces I've been procrastinating for so long.

If this gets 115 notes then I'll learn any one song someone tells me to learn in my asks.

If this gets 150 notes I'll finally finish writing a horror story I started 2 months ago.

Tagging @india-official because they do have an audience that can help me get off my bed

[thecardiganunderthebed]

HAPPY FONE CALL FROM GOD FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thecardiganunderthebed]

i’m a girl whose entire personality revolves around them

#mecore

[thecardiganunderthebed]

Barack Obama walks into a bar, but he is invisible. 

After attracting the bartender’s attention, the bartender says "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you invisible?" Barack says "Well, I found a bottle on the beach and...then I rubbed it." "And then...importantly...A genie came out." "The genie said I could have...3 wishes." For my first wish, I said "Let me say this, and this is profoundly important...I want Michelle to marry me...I love her,...and I think America will love her too." That wish was granted. For my second wish, I said "Like all patriotic Americans, I am deeply patriotic...and I want to be President...of the United States...so I can serve my country." That wish was granted too. And then, for my third wish, I started by saying "Let me be clear..."

#jeff needs to change his fuckin url

[thecardiganunderthebed]

Two idiots decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic. 

"What's Logic?" the first idiot asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example."

"Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!"

The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The idoit is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I can't wait to take that logic class!!"

The idiot, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!" he replies.

"What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?" he asked.

"No," his friend replied.

"Gay."