the-nonsense-is-mine

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lemony: our verbal fridge dialogue code won't work jacques: why? lemony: i ate our last pickle

#they can't live together without a mitigating force #asoue #lemony snicket #jacques snicket #from the desk of a writer on the run

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The beginning of a Beatrice-centric take on the opera night.

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #sugar bowl gen #beatrice baudelaire #lemony snicket #jacques snicket #count olaf #kit snicket #frank denouement #bertrand baudelaire #beatrice & olaf #beatrice x lemony #beamony #beatrice x bertrand

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fyi - fire you ignited

is your child texting about a series of unfortunate events?

brb - beatrice’s rude betrayal

lol - loneliness of lemony

smh - steal my harpoon

tfw - the fungus wins

stfu - snicket taxi friends unite

tbh - terrifying & beautiful hypnotist

btw - bat-training woman

#asoue

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#love them #jacques snicket #lemony snicket #asoue

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there are only three genders - good, evil, and librarian

#asoue #frank denouement #ernest denouement #dewey denouement #the denouement triplets #someone get them pronoun pins with this on it

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ah! didnt see u there! u caught me indulging in one of my most fascinating interests as of late. its called a "dictionary". *turns page and softly chuckles* oh, this is clever...

#prev tags

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#at graduation all vfd members are presented this poll and that's how they pick a side #asoue

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#vfd adjacent

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Patrick Warburton getting surprisingly defensive over lemon meringue pie gives me life.

#he's so serious about everything #love him #asoue #asoue netflix #lemony snicket #from the desk of a writer on the run

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There is a cluster of people hovering around the front desk of the hotel when Jacques arrives, and both managers are mostly hidden by the many visitors vying for their attention. Jacques takes his time wandering over, pinching an abandoned newspaper and posting himself at the side of the front desk. He scans a few articles as he waits for the crowd to die down.

"What can I help you with today, J?"

Jacques looks up a few minutes later to find that the burst of activity in the lobby has faded. One of the managers stands at the end of the front desk, grinning back at him.

"Hello, Ernest."

His gaze slides over Ernest's shoulder, to where the other manager has just sent a family off to their room, and is turning to face Jacques as well.

"And hello..." says Jacques, raising his eyebrow, "Frank."

Dewey almost hides his laugh, before moving smoothly back into his practiced air of professionalism. He turns away to answer a ringing phone, leaving Jacques with only Ernest and Ernest's poorly disguised amusement.

"This is rather inconvenient," says Jacques, folding his newspaper, "as I was hoping to see your brother."

"My brother is right here," replies Ernest, with immense delight. "I'm sure his phone call will only take a minute. Unless it's something I can do for you instead?"

He leans in over the desk, one hand toying with the cuff of Jacques' shirt. It would be a more convincing ploy if he didn't look like he was seconds away from laughing out loud. Jacques puts his hand on top of Ernest's, pressing down to stop his wandering fingers.

"I think this may be a job that Frank will want to see to personally," he says, purposefully low and suggestive.

Ernest does laugh then, yanking his hand away from Jacques and swatting at his shoulder.

"That," he says, producing a key from behind the desk, "doesn't narrow down the possibilities. Though I'd wager you land a little higher in priority than say, pruning the lobby plants. He's in his office."

He dangles the key between them on one finger.

"Higher than the plants!" Jacques says, winking as he takes the key. "Careful, Ernest, or I might think you're flirting with me."

#asoue #jacques snicket #ernest denouement #dewey denouement #jacques x frank #frank denouement #the denouement triplets

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it's so beethover / we're so bach

#asoue

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You know, I was originally going to post a whole page of Denouement doodles, but after drawing this one I realized that there was nothing else I could draw that could possibly outdo it.

#love him #asoue #ernest denouement

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“You can’t outrun your problems” “moving to a new country won’t solve anything” not with that attitude

#asoue #lemony snicket #from the desk of a writer on the run

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(Jacques and Bertrand tailing another car in the Snicket taxi for a mission)

B: if we keep going at this speed, we’re going to lose our target in less than a minute

J: just because villainous people choose to disobey traffic laws, it doesn’t mean we have to sink to their level

B: ….. actually it DOES when we’re tailing them

J: I have certain principles

B: and you also kidnap children for our organization

J: *stiffly* recruit, B. Recruit, not kidnap.

B: *texting L* hey what’s a better way to phrase going over the speed limit that’ll sound noble enough for your brother

L: *doesn’t respond because he only responds to texts once in two weeks*

B: *texts Kit and Beatrice for help next, gets the immediate answer from Beatrice suggesting threatening to withhold sex, remembers why he usually doesn’t ask Beatrice for help*

K: *text arriving 30 seconds later* try to see if you can trick him into getting out of the car and get into the driver seat yourself, if he refuses to get in the passenger seat you have my permission to leave him behind

#everyone shut the hell up while i cry #asoue #bertrand baudelaire #jacques snicket #sunny baudelaire #jacques x bertrand

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the idea of "georgina gets irritated with geraldine of all people because the way esme says sweet things to geraldine just to get geraldine to do what she wants and georgina is vaguely jealous" is extremely funny, which in turns irritates beatrice baudelaire because beatrice is aware that georgina never cared about her and considers her irrelevant and while beatrice does her best to get some reaction out of georgina, jealousy or hate or otherwise, she never succeeded and georgina just did not care about her at all, but then there is this smalltime petty reporter who came out of nowhere and georgina takes notice of her and is bothered by her in a way that she has never been bothered by beatrice's existence, and beatrice is so, so annoyed.

and then r, who adores beatrice and is definitely on her side for everything, is also geraldine's coworker (at DP) and she's like B i am absolutely sympathetic but also this is. kind of funny you have to admit.

beatrice: ramona how DARE you

#i love the asoue women #so competent and yet #asoue #georgina orwell #esme squalor #geraldine julienne #beatrice baudelaire #duchess r

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emoji association meme: 🧳👓🐍 (requested by @ineffablepuns​)

#he's so internet boyfriend #asoue #asoue netflix #monty montgomery #from the desk of a writer on the run

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in the lobby of the hotel, beatrice sits on a swing - hanging down from high up in the ceiling - that’s not yet there last night. she beams down at the hotel guests looking up at her, waving at them like some sort of celebrity. she is a celebrity, in some sense, frank thinks with a grimace. the guests are already gathered around, taking pictures. everywhere else on the first floor is empty.

he talks into his earpiece, “all clear now. starting phase two.” phase two is, to put it simply, to transport the object discreetly into one of the rooms on the first floor today before noon.

“i’m stuck in the traffic, can she keep them occupied for a few more minutes?” jacques snicket’s voice comes from the other side.

“i told you we should’ve let kit drive,” beatrice interjects. she’s still managing to smile prettily down at her audience, despite the irritation in her tone obvious to jacques.

“look, i don’t control the traffic,” jacques replies in annoyance.

“yeah, you really lack the ability to,” beatrice laments. “plan B, abandon that taxi and run here with the object.”

“very hilarious, beatrice,” jacques snaps.

“i’m not joking, jacques, we’re running out of time.”

“you’ve gotten less charming for your audience these days? can’t even keep them occupied for long enough?” jacques challenges.

“jacques snicket, how dare you imply —”

“shut up, both of you,” frank says sharply. “J, where are you?”

“stuck on the bridge,” jacques huffs.

“alright,” frank says curtly. he picks up the phone at the front desk and dials a number. “R,” he says. “we need a favor. can you take the afternoon off at the office?”

30 seconds later, the duchess of winnipeg hops onto her motorcycle.

#oh hell yeah what an ending #fantastic #asoue #beatrice baudelaire #frank denouement #jacques snicket #duchess r