the-cato-sicarius

[the-cato-sicarius]

I feel like I can influence the statistics on this poll a bit.

Ultramarines! Call to arms!

#ultramarines #blue #do not disapping me

[the-cato-sicarius]

“Wait, when did I write this?”

Uriel Ventris hate? He seems just an inoffensive Ultramarine guy.

His presence as a character reduced Honsou to a cartoon villain in his own series, and he intimidated a Nightbringer shard into behaving. He’s also extremely bland. He goes in Trazyn’s forever vault.

#40k #cato sicarius #warhammer 40k #ultramarines #uriel ventris

[the-cato-sicarius]

"Your ambitions aim too high."

"For a coward like you, maybe."

[the-cato-sicarius]

"You're no hero."

"Who's trying to be hero in this economy?"

[the-cato-sicarius]

I and Numitor both cut it in a stupid haircut as a bet. And then he decided to keep it.

Questionable hairstyle choices in 4th edition for Cato 'lighting claws kitty' Sicarius 😾

#warhammer #warhammer 40k #cato sicarius #ultramarines #40k #numitor

[the-cato-sicarius]

Do not click this ad. I repeat, do NOT click this.

#warhammer 40k #necrons #40k #cato sicarius

[the-cato-sicarius]

How would the Imperium of Man react to finding out someone is a new Perpetual? Along with other factions.

The first thing you must understand is that there is no such thing as true immortality.

A lot of people and beings might call themself that out of arrogance. I myself killed the Necron who called himself “The Undying”. He was difficult to kill. Like a weed he kept coming back until every trace of him was destroyed. It just required enough killing power and precision.

I have lived a long life, but I have also seen enough death to assure you; that the only garantied thing in this galaxy is death. And it will come for you the moment your opponent's will is stronger than yours.

#40k #cato sicarius #warhammer 40k #ultramarines #roleplay #asks #perpetual #the undying

[the-cato-sicarius]

Do I want to know what led up to this ask?

How does one ACCIDENTALLY eat Cato Sicarius

I mean, you wouldn't do it on purpose. Ew

[the-cato-sicarius]

What do you mean? “I left the MILF on a necron-infested planet?”

I killed off all the necrons, didn't you read the report?

#40k #cato sicarius #warhammer 40k #ultramarines #roleplay #shitpost #poor Vedeah

[the-cato-sicarius]

I know it sounds bad with “Tactical” research, but the man is a half-competent swordsman, things could be learned here.

(at least it isn't xenos tech)

Lucius being a video gaming/parkour/ Go-Pro channel.. Imagine him just doing all sort of shit and just having a Gorpro attatched to him.

You know with all the Emperor's Children involved, that this would have an about 100% chance to turn into a live-porn-channel very quickly?

[the-cato-sicarius]

I trust my Lions. I trust them with everything. And I encourage them to question my authority when necessary, like any good commander should.

Also, I might have done something similar to them in return, but that is neither here nor there.

Cato? More like Cat-o with his much I wanna snuggle up with you and a good book. ^•//w//•^

If you think Daceus doesn't make this joke at least twelve times a day...

I KNOW, OK!

Naming my squad “The Lions of Macragge”, when I have “Cat” in my name was a mistake.

The amount of times they have changed the background of my command table to be the Ultima Thuleian lion... 😐

[the-cato-sicarius]

Cato don’t you have a cat? Aren’t there big cats on Macragge? I wasn’t fooled by another post right?

Oh you mean my baby boy Leonidas?

#40k #cato sicarius #warhammer 40k #ultramarines #roleplay #asks

[the-cato-sicarius]

Tell the high lords to go fuck themselves.

I'm taking a pilgrimage to holy terra, want anything from there?

[the-cato-sicarius]

Cato? More like Cat-o with his much I wanna snuggle up with you and a good book. ^•//w//•^

If you think Daceus doesn't make this joke at least twelve times a day...

I KNOW, OK!

Naming my squad “The Lions of Macragge”, when I have “Cat” in my name was a mistake.

The amount of times they have changed the background of my command table to be the Ultima Thuleian lion... 😐

#40k #cato sicarius #warhammer 40k #ultramarines #roleplay #asks #lions of macragge #(for reference google “swedish lion” and you will understand why its funny)

[the-cato-sicarius]

Cato Sicarius,

Does the Codex support PB&J

I feel like this question was made in jest, but actually, yes.

Not specifically by name, but we do have chapters in the codex regarding nutrition. The high-calorie value of the sugar in jelly and the relatively high protein in peanut butter will help to build and maintain muscles easily making it an ultima-tier snack.

So not only does the codex support, but would actively encourage it as a pre-combat or workout snack.

#40k #cato sicarius #warhammer 40k #ultramarines #roleplay #asks #pb&j #codex astartes

[the-cato-sicarius]

Oh like you never had a bad hair cut 😠

Ok, so I have a headcanon.

Ultramarines dye their hair when shit gets really stressful.

Proof - Cato Sicarius as a blonde on Damnos (his toughest battle)

Marneus Calgar as a brunette during the battle of Macragge(his toughest battle)

#warhammer 40k #40k #warhammer #ultramarines #cato sicarius

[the-cato-sicarius]

Dear Cato Sicarius,

"I have yet again found another barge within proximity of the agreed, undisclosed territory between the borders of the Ultima Segmentum and Segmentum Tempestus, locations of which have distracted my moronic sons from their mission to spy on a current stream of Ork Fleet sightings. As per the territorial agreement with Imperium and the Minotaurs chapter...I now have the rights to send you this package. Enjoy what here on Sparta we call, "a decent night's rest"."

*a brown cardboard box with holes and making a lot of scuttling noises*

~Signed, Asterion Moloc 🐂

P.S; Tell your Primarch the next time this happens, I'm firing the Crotalid Canon....at EVERYTHING.

Chapter Master Marneus Calgar and I look at each other with a disconcerting look.

“Three Battle Barges? Could this possibly be true? Are we missing any ships?” Calgar asks somberly.

“Not any I could find, unless they are long lost ships, or,” I answer reluctantly.

“Or?”

“Or, it could belong to one of the unnumbered companies?” I suggest.

“You know about those, and yet you come to me with this and not our father?” Calgar keeps his tone neutral, making me unable to gauge his feelings on the matter.

“I’ve heard bits and pieces, something like six thousand Ultramarines, outside of the company structure. From what I've gathered they are not like the Unnumbered sons, but they are actual Ultramarines, with no intent to split them into other chapters,” I say, trying to read Calgar’s visage. The only emotion he betrays is a small uncharacteristic smirk. I've only seen him do that a handful of times, and I know all too well what it means.

“Double that number and you will be closer to the truth,” he says, and I can feel a cold sensation down my spine.

“Twelve thousand…” I say incredulously.

“Thirteen, actually,” he admits.

“That would make us larger than both the Black Templars and the Space Wolves…” I say, considering the implications.

“Not quite, we have reinforced both those Chapters as well, with marines loyal to us,” Calgar tells me.

"The codex strictly forbids this! The reason no chapter is supposed to have this many marines is to prevent another heresy!” I blurt out.

Calgar answers me with a mirthful laugh and walks around the command table and reaches for a cabinet behind his desk. He brings out two glasses and a bottle of wine. I know he keeps those as trophies from planets he has liberated, one single bottle is probably worth more than a small gunship.

He pours each glass before handing me one, as he raises me a toast.

“What for?” I ask.

“You, quoting the codex. To me of all people. I have lived a long life, Cato, I thought I had seen everything, but there truly are miracles left out there.”

“I'm being serious,” I counter. Calgar seems even more amused by my refusal to return his toast, taking a sip out of his goblet.

He has such a disarming body language about him, and I can't help but to also take a sip, it's the best wine I've ever tasted.

“Where do your loyalties lie, Cato? The Primarch, or the Chapter? Calgar asks me.

“They are the same thing,” I say, confused.

“They are not,” Calgar says, and I think about it for a moment.

“The Primarch,” I answer him, and for the briefest of microseconds it looks as if he is disappointed in that answer, before his mask slips back on.

“Good, it's settled then,” He says and looks back at the command table.

“So, what do we do with this Battle Barge situation,” I ask again.

“Most likely this is just the Minotaurs trying to boast. They did not want any ransom, so they probably just wanted to look tough by bloodying us, kudos to them for trying to pick a worthy opponent,” Calgar says.

“And what if it is not an empty boast, if they indeed have taken our Battle Barges?” I ask.

“Then they were incompetent enough to get caught by these buffoons and deserved what was coming for them. Besides, it is too late for them now anyway,” Calgar explains.

“So the usual then? Denial of existence?” I ask as he nods.

As I head for the exit Calgar stops me.

“Sicarius, if this Moloc continues to act up, contact the Mortifactors. Make sure they “Lament” him and his chapter, but keep our name out of it.”

I nod in acknowledgement as I head out.

#40k #cato sicarius #warhammer 40k #ultramarines #roleplay #asks #marneus calgar #wh40k #space marines