tenaciouschronicler

[tenaciouschronicler]

pied in the face by my clown father

(Pages 91-96)

John and Dad's Strife continues, even while we can no longer click the buttons. What I love about this scene is how well matched they seem to be - the narrator says 'Looks like DAD will enjoy the prankster's gambit on that exchange, as is usually the case.' (p.92) but honestly, I think that's unfair to John. He's holding his own, equipping his disguise again just in time, stealing the pie tin from Dad so he can't magically fill it with another cream pie - and, well, the finishing move with ejecting Sassacre's was a lucky break, but maybe it's luck John can learn from for future encounters.

Speaking of Sassacre's, this is the third time where the weight of the tome and its ability to crush something has been relevant. On page 32, 'Good grief this thing is huge. It could kill a cat if you dropped it.' When we learn about John's nanna on page 52, 'A tall bookshelf. A ladder. An unabridged COLONEL SASSACRE'S.' And now its far more harmless, yet thematically linked, activation of the smoke pellets. It's a shame John already allocated hammerkind to his strife specibus, because Sassacrekind would probably be really effective, and very appropriate for his character. I have a lot of questions about the limitations of the strife specibus, and this raises a new one - is John capable of using any item as a weapon if it isn't a hammer? Could he hit someone over the head with Sassacre's still, or eject it from his sylladex to crush them? Or is he completely unable to damage someone with it, and can only use it as defense or utility?

Items being ejected is also a new use of the sylladex - I kind of assumed that the inventory just wouldn't accept any more items once it was full, but high speed blasting away the item on the last card is much funnier. It's also more helpful, as John can access the items on both the first and the last card, so long as what's on the last card isn't especially fragile. I wonder if John will be less angry at his sylladex now that it's actually helped him out. Probably not - his hatred seems to be more irrational than that, and he's not going to be in a good mood now that he's stuck with this giant cake - but we'll see.

Are we finally going to get Sburb tomorrow? Is John's path to the game and back to his computer undisturbed? Or is some other nefarious obstacle going to get in John's way once again?

#its not the first eject though #on pg 15 John equips the nails and is smacked with the arms #also there WAS a bookkind #SASSACRE would be the most unweildy but potent book #homestuck #homestuck replay #other characters

[tenaciouschronicler]

April 29 2024 2009

More Strifing as John valiantly attempts to make a break for the mail.

There seems to be four options when it comes to Strifes, our two new ones being ACCEDE (agree to demand or request) and ABSCOND (leave hurriedly and secretly).

John tries to Abscond but we have established Dad has STRONG FATHERLY AFFECTION and you will not be leaving without cake young man.

The whole exchange is hilarious honestly with some great lines my favorite being

And now he brandishes yet another ARTIFACT OF CONFECTION! The man is ruthless.

You'd better brace for impact in the most comedically striking fashion possible.

So my guess is Dad's specibus is Confectionkind, which is kinda vague and encompases a lot of baked goods.

Im super curious as to what this is supposed to do. Obviously its tied to pranking but is there more to it?

It's strange to note that Acceding and taking the cake adds it to the SYLLADEX.

The mechanics of SYLLADEX confound me. At least Sassacre has made himself useful activating the smoke pellets so helpfully for John.

Theres also another quote for me to deep dive into so prepare for that!

#homestuck #homestuck replay #hsrp liveblog

[tenaciouschronicler]

Misattributed Quote Retrospection

"Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire." -Walt Whitman

Our quote comes from François de La Rochefoucauld a French moralist of the era of French Classical literature and author of Maximes and Memoirs. Specifically this quote is from his Maximes. Moralist in this case are secular writers who described "personal, social and political conduct".

His Maximes has hundreds of sentences, typically 2-3 lines, about the callous nature of human conduct, affection, friendship, love, loyalty, fate, honor and the tendency for self-delusion. His contemporaries found his writings to be very cynical and almost against traditional values of the times.

Reading it now thats not really the case. He was more trying to figure out how to live one’s ideals in a backstabbing world where people are often not as they seem. They cannot even recognize their tendency to manipulate others and deceive themselves.

Each sentence can be read on its own and the general concensus is this particular sentence is similar to 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. In the context we have, Absence has taken most of John's passions leaving him empty.

#im gonna have to place all my retrospections and deep dives in a single doc arent I #homestuck #homestuck replay #hsrp retrospection #misattributed quotes

[tenaciouschronicler]

Dad Egbert Found Alive In Kitchen

(page 88-90)

IT'S HIM. IT'S DAD TIME. On page 88, we get a dramatic silhouette and a slow zoom into his defining features - pipe, industrial sized baking oven, hat, and a cake big enough to make installing the oven worth it. After teasing him for so long, it feels like a great payoff to have his introduction be such a big moment.

I LOVE the top panel on page 89 - there's no dialogue, but I can hear John's dad saying "I know it's you under that disguise, kid." Given that there's only two of them in the house, I'm not sure what John was expecting, but I admire his resolve and determination.

The really important thing here, though, is 'STRIFE!' on page 90. I wasn't expecting the strife deck to come into play so soon, and definitely not in this context. It's a fascinating panel both in its themes, and in how it's constructed. It does such a good job of showing a parent-child relationship where neither of them are in the wrong; they're both just on completely different pages and struggling to communicate. All John can do is try to run past before his dad forces cake on him, and all Dad can do is try to give John the thing that he spent hours lovingly making. It's actually really sad, if you can look past the fun jester music.

It's also the most interactive panel so far in a story that's had the illusion of interactivity from the start. Usually, the cursor is moved by an invisible hand; on page 31, we can mouse over John's games but not actually click anything, but here we have two actual buttons to click that show us different animations - presumably John and Dad go back and forth like this for a while, and this is the best way to represent it. But knowing that Hussie has dabbled in 'choose your own adventure' type stories before with Bard Quest, I'm wondering if we could see that on a small scale with Homestuck - small branching paths that lead to the same outcome, choosing the route but not the destination, perhaps, which could allow for interesting storytelling but not be too wildly difficult to implement.

A couple of final things - Dad Egbert knows what the fuck he's doing. He lights all 13 candles at once with a single flick of the lighter. Also, John's fridge art is adorable. I want to know when he drew it and how long Dad's had it up there.

#homestuck #homestuck replay #other players

[tenaciouschronicler]

April 28 2024 2009

Interactive page!

Now we get to see what the strifespecibus is about. Two options are presented Abjure (solemnly renounce) and Aggrieve (oppress or injure) which seem to be Defend and Attack respectively.

Pressing Abjure leads to Dadbert activating a GAURDIAN RUBRIC (???) CODDLEBRAND (???). Based on what a rubric is, rules for conduct, Dad uses coddling rules for fighting? Or just in general?

In either case cake is immediately shoved in John's face.

Funny thing about Dotesmite as Dad's action, smite can mean a firm strike OR strong attraction (as is smitten). It just emphasizes this is some strong fatherly affection.

Then we have aggrieve where John puts that hammer to use. Luckily Dad uses Auto-Pastry (parry?)

Overall just a really fun sequence totally worth a two day wait.

#i keep posting these a day late #i just can't stop passing out after work #homestuck #homestuck replay #hsrp liveblog

[tenaciouschronicler]

Karkat's probably that guy who is friends with the thieves in the neighborhood and tells you he will get ur stuff back because "THEY'RE REALLY NICE, THEY PROBABLY JUST SAW YOU HAVE THE FACE OF A DUMBASS, I'LL GO TALK TO THEM" and he gets them back

#homestuck #karkat vantas #text post #msrp spoilers

[tenaciouschronicler]

Misattributed Quote Retrospection

"The moon's an arrant thief, and her pale fire she snatches from the sun." -Mark Twain

This quote is actually from Shakespear's Timon of Athens, a play about Timon the philathropist who has shared all of his wealth to the point of no longer being wealthy. After that he is left with no one as they only ever really cared for his money. He then decides to go live in the woods and denounce mankind becoming jaded to wealth and companionship. It was once labeled a tragedy but is now considered a problem play.

Problem plays are characterized by their complex and ambiguous tone, which shifts violently between more straightforward comic material and dark, psychological drama. (from wikipedia)

This actually matches the tone shifts we keep experiencing. Most every page is some funny action we foist upon John or sonething to move plot along. In between we get pages that are obviously not inline with the standard, like our title page.

Also from wikipedia was this paragraph about an adaptation:

Pryce's Timon in the television version mentioned below, whose plate is explicitly shown as being perpetually unsoiled by food, and he tends to be meek and modest. This suggests a Timon who lives in the world but not of it.

This last line matches the theory I made about John and his relationship with Desolation. Again it's speculation and I highly doubt Hussie is putting this much thought into these first pages.

#homestuck #homestuck replay #hsrp retrospection #misattributed quotes

[tenaciouschronicler]

my singular very specific homestuck headcanon is that john has a weird zig-zag ring shape scar around each of his index fingers from when he was like 9 and got them stuck in one of those finger traps without knowing how to get them out so he just kept making it tighter until he had to get the finger trap cut off

#homestuck #john egbert #text post

[tenaciouschronicler]

Another day, another dollop of Hussie spoiling us. Guys (gender neutral). Guys it's animated. WIth music. A perfect reveal of Dad.

who looks like he does taxes for fun. The cake... i bet its made of W-2s and frosted with itemized receipts. Can you tell I'm a little disappointment at the lack of clown ON the clown man? anyways, other than that we have an even bigger cake than the others with 13 candles already on it despite him pulling out the cake while we watch (maybe the candles are made of asbestos too??) I am also immensely curious as to what this drawing on the fridge is (zoomed in for convenience)

kinda looks like a green cat, or maybe slime (?) stabbed with a sword and bleeding.... or maybe a bug??? it continues to match the color scheme but I feel like his dad just probably said it was nice and hung it without further questioning.

Excited to see what's next, since there is only "one way to settle this."

#homestuck #homestuck replay #other players

[tenaciouschronicler]

Harlequin Anger vs Jester Ennui - Color as John Egbert’s Emotions

Week 2 Retrospective

John Egbert is the silliest little guy, but we’re starting to see hints of what he’s feeling beneath the surface. Looking at the themes of the comic so far, my current theory is that the colorful elements in the comic are the things that make John feel strong emotions - both good and bad - while the monochrome elements represent what makes John feel bored and frustrated.

Analysis below the cut - about 2,200 words.

‘A familiar note is produced. It's the one Desolation plays to keep its instrument in tune.’ (p.82)

Desolation has two, related meanings - one is loneliness, grief, and lack of companionship, while the other is ruin, emptiness and destruction. The first meaning is John’s current mental state, while the second is the suburb he lives in. The majority of what’s surrounding John is entirely monochrome, and so is John himself. We also learn from the narration on p.82 that ‘something feels missing from [John’s] life’ and that he has a sense ‘not of mirth, but of lack’. I think he spends a lot of time going through the motions - poking at things in his room without settling to anything, wandering up and down the stairs when his dad is occupied - but his life is the same day in and day out, and he struggles to inject any excitement into his life, or even any anger at the situation he’s trapped in. 

I think it’s extremely notable that almost everything relating to John’s family is monochrome. In addition to the house as a whole, the portraits of his dad and nanna are monochrome, as are the gifts and cakes from his dad, the car outside, and most importantly the piano. I don’t think John hates his father, but I think he struggles to connect with him or feel close to him. Ignoring page 72’s peanut ambiguity, the worst we hear about Dad is that he will ‘monopolize hours of [John’s] time’ (p.30) and ‘can be a real cornball’ (p.49), which is a big contrast to him calling Betty Crocker his ‘arch nemesis’ (p.48). 

Therefore, John’s dad is an inconvenience, not a threat. John might know intellectually that his dad loves him - ‘the old man really came through this time’ (p.19), as well as the kind fatherly notes left on John’s birthday presents (p.12, p.55) - but I think he can’t make the leap to actually caring about his dad in return or enjoying his company.

John is a gifted piano player, and gives us a ‘haunting piano refrain’ (p.77). Him being a musician ties back into the act title - ‘the note desolation plays’ uses the language of music, something so often filled with emotion, to describe a lack of it. Given that, of course the piano is monochrome. Perhaps John even sees the piano as the source of his problems, or at least representative of them. 

I noted at the time that it was strange John hadn’t listed piano among his interests when it’s clearly something he’s spent a lot of time on, and now I think it’s something that was taught to him as a kid by either his dad or nanna. He’s good at it, but he’s so disconnected from family life that it no longer brings him any joy, it’s just a hangover from his childhood. ‘Haunting’ makes me think it was his nanna who taught him - now every time John plays, he’s haunted by her memory (or even her literal ghost). Possibly her death is what made John disconnect from the hobby, especially with ‘desolation’ relating to grief.

On page 4, we get our first glimpse of the outside. The blue sky shot through with the brown tree is the largest splash of color in John’s room. The promise of the outside world is extremely colorful, and we know John wants to go there - the window reflected in John’s glasses on page 28 as he grins excitedly is a clear visual indication of that. Yet when we finally see it, the outside isn’t all color - the grass, sky, trees and flowers all are, but the man made aspects such as the driveway, tire swing, and other houses in the neighborhood are gray and dull.

Page 82 gives us the dramatic moment of John removing his clever disguise and gazing up at the sky. It’s the first time we see the sun and the uninterrupted expanse, and it’s framed like it’s significant for John, too. I don’t think it’s literally his first time stepping outside (you can’t tell me his dad didn’t push him on that tire swing as a kid) but I think it’s the moment he realizes that leaving his literal house doesn’t mean he’s not stuck - the neighborhood is just more of the same, and whatever restrictions John’s working within mean he can’t go any further than this. A front yard is legally part of a house, and the reality of the outside doesn’t excite him as much as the idea of it.

And then there’s the clowns. The one aspect of his dad that really gets John going; the harlequin portraits in the hallway and living room that Dad brought back from clown con are bright, obnoxious, and impossible to ignore. Interestingly, the ones in the study are black and white - perhaps John is okay with the clown pictures in the study, because that’s explicitly his dad’s space, but he doesn’t like the ones in the main area, because they make him feel like the house is fully his dad’s, not a shared space they could decorate together. 

This is pure speculation, but I don’t think John has ever moved house. I get the impression that he grew up in this house, which is his dad’s now and was perhaps originally his nanna’s, and has never known a world outside of this specific neighborhood. Because John’s been there since he was born, it’s never crossed his dad’s mind that John might want to, say, put his Little Monsters poster in the living room - hence why that gift was left in John’s bedroom, while the harlequin doll is allowed to be downstairs. 

Speaking of John’s room, it’s definitely not an oasis of color within the house. In our first shot of the room, we see six splashes of color, including the outside and John’s shirt - comparable to the living room (six including John’s shirt and hat) and study (five including the outside and John’s hat). A full three of the colorful elements in John’s room are related to Sburb, which in both the visuals and text is the thing John’s by far the most excited about right now, but I’ll circle back around to this. 

John’s magic chest, magician’s hat, blood capsules, and copies of Colonel Sassacre’s and Wise Guy are all colorful too, but other prank elements - fake arms, beaglepuss, handcuffs, sword, smoke pellets) are all monochrome. This one’s tough, but my best guess is that John feels conflicted about his interest in pranks because it’s so similar to his dad’s interest, and perhaps even that the monochrome items are things John’s dad bought for him for past birthdays and holidays, while the colorful ones are things John got for himself. 

John’s shirt is also worth mentioning here. John’s ambivalence with the house extends to himself, and kids often don’t have a lot of control over their appearance. He probably doesn’t choose his own clothes or glasses or haircut, and he definitely can’t go out and get a tattoo of Slimer or anything like that, so it’s very telling that wearing a shirt with a favorite movie on it is the one way John can actually connect to himself. 

That said, all the movie posters in his room are monochrome, which I’ll again circle back to. One exception is the close up of the Problem Sleuth poster (p.11), which is mostly monochrome, but has four kernels of colorful candy corn. I love this detail so much. It’s a fun reference to Hussie’s previous work and suggests that the candy corn gags in Problem Sleuth are John’s favorite part, which feels right for him. I wonder if John will use candy corn for a prank at some point in reference to this game he likes. I also noticed that the menu bar at the top of the web page also contains four kernels of candy corn - is this just because Problem Sleuth is Hussie’s most notable work, or could it be a clue for Homestuck too?

The most colorful and complex elements of the comic so far are the screens. We see John’s computer, which as a physical object is monochrome but which lights up to a brightly colored world of chums, flashing programs, desktop icons and stunning feats of graphic design, including things John loves (Slimer) and things that make him boil with rage (coding). We also get to see a very green tinted TV commercial in the living room, and a full color clip of Con Air linked from page 20. 

All this makes me wonder if John’s list of interests is chronological. First on his list (p.4) is ‘really terrible movies’, and many of his favorite titles are from the 1980s and 90s, meaning he probably grew up with them. I think he still loves watching and discussing them, but - given that movies are a fairly passive medium - just the reminder of them on his wall isn’t enough to take him out of his own head anymore. He then got into programming, the paranormal, magic, and video games in sequence, meaning that the final two are his most active interests right now, and the ones to which the most time and color are devoted. In this way, the casual end to the list ‘You also like to play GAMES sometimes’ reads like intentionally downplaying something that’s actually really important, the sarcasm of ‘sometimes’ revealed later when we learn that John has ‘put countless manhours into this assortment of quality titles’ (p.31).

Unlike the movie posters, most of the games on John’s CD rack are in color, and unlike movies, games can offer an interactive, immersive experience. Games are enticing to John right now because they’re the best escape from a monotonous, suburban life that John has access to. He’s played his current collection time and time again (to the point that Bard Quest and Problem Sleuth have lost their color), and that’s why he’s so desperate for Sburb to arrive, and why the colorful reminders of Sburb are all over his room.

I think there’s a very real question of whether Sburb will live up to John’s expectations. At only one letter away from Suburb, it’s a clear reminder that video games don’t actually take John away from the life he’s stuck in, they’re a cosmetic alteration at best - and if the themes of the game are too close to John’s real life problems, he won’t find that escapism. So while I’d love to see a version of this comic where John finally starts playing Sburb and the whole screen immediately explodes into color, I’m not sure it’ll be that easy.

Finally, there’s the meta elements of the story. The captchalogue card overlay and strife specibus are pink and green respectively, and other elements that pop up (indication of whether or not we’ve got John’s name right, the cake turning blue when selected, the blinking green telling us we can put the poster on the wall, etc) are colorful too. The hammer that John allocates to his strife specibus is monochrome, however, which fits really well with John allocating it on TG’s instructions and not knowing that the allocation is permanent. If he’d known, he would have chosen something he felt more strongly about.

Interestingly, the narrative text is black. I still don’t think we’re directly getting John’s perspective, I think that’s been filtered through a specific narrator who has a voice very different to John’s (based on John’s Pesterchum messages), but I don’t think John has any awareness of this. In contrast, he’s all too aware of his captchalogue deck and the artificial, needlessly complex limitations it imposes, and he visually reacts to us getting his name right or wrong. 

If John were to somehow become aware of the narrative text, and have strong feelings about the way he’s being portrayed (or the fact that he’s being written about at all), perhaps it would change color? After all, when John talks to his friends, each of them has a defined color, perhaps relating to the different relationships he has with each friend, and different emotions arising from that. John doesn’t seem to always like his friends - he gets frustrated at the notifications, and spends his whole conversation with TT already trying to leave - but he still replies and actively engages with them, a massive contrast to how he is with his dad. 

‘His riddle is Absence itself.’ (p.82)

To conclude, I do find it interesting that the brightest colors in the comic are the things that are most natural (grass, flowers) and the things that are most artificial (screens, the abstract concept of the inventory) while everything in the middle is black and white. This fits with the idea of color being about both extremes at once, and the idea that John wants a chance to explore both the real and virtual worlds. 

The meta function of color is to make certain visual elements stand out to the audience and tell us they’re worth paying attention to. From a purely functional perspective, it makes sense that the things most important to John would also be highlighted to us. But given the theme of lack and emptiness, the absence of color is just as important. And as the comic is already playing so much with the meta, I think that’s the most helpful starting point for analysis. 

#see this is the kind of stuff i would struggle to piece together #a beautiful inrospection howere #homestuck #homestuck replay #other players

[tenaciouschronicler]

April 27 2025 2009

The dadliest dad.

Two pages one being our Dad intro complete with sound aptly titled Harlequin.

The whole sequence is mainly flashes slowly revealing Dad Egbert to the viewer. It really gives me tutorial mini boss vibes or a new character reveal in a fighting game.

While dissapointing theres no clown outfit or even touches it makes sense, he is a suburban Dad. The sheer size of that cake though.

Sir That Is Entirely Too Much Cake

(The following read more is just more ramble thougts about Dad, 'Normal' Expectations and tropes that sounded too clunky above)

So far theres been alot of writing that focuses on expected ideals, such as the tire swing or fireplace. Dad's interests conflict with what we think a 'normal' Dad looks like but not with the tropes of Dad. Every dad has to have one (1) hobby they are obsessed with. Most of the times its sports, sometimes model war and each type tells us about what kind of dad we are gonna be dealing with.

Dadbert is a wild card. There isnt a clown collector hobby but with other clues ex; baking copius amounts of cake, heartfelt Dad notes, Dad monolougues (Johns reason for avoiding his dad), we find our Dad is a coming-of-age Dad. A Dad trying to make a connection with his son who is going into his teen years, overbearing, possibly embarassing and a goof

#im not good at all encompassing deep dives #but im very good at drilling into specific details #homestuck #homestuck replay #hsrp liveblog

[tenaciouschronicler]

and a small one before i go to sleep

#davekat #karkat vantas #dave strider #homestuck #fanart #msrp spoilers

[tenaciouschronicler]

4/24/2009

I'm going to just put my thoughts kinda disorganized because I don't know how to liveblog!!!! My best friend told me about this because it started on her birthday and she thinks I'll like it!!! Anyway, here are my thoughts about the stuff so far:

"Try again, smartass" pffffft

I like the fact that he DOES have arms, we just don't see them until necessary

Okay this sylladex and captchalogue stuff is confusing

Okay, so Problem Sleuth is the last MSPA, right? I'll have to read it too

I'm not understanding some of these references :(

I relate to John being kinda sick of cake, sometimes it's too much

I like the convo with turntechgodhead so far

That's not how the mailbox lever works John!!! Get it right!

Ugh yeah this specibus stuff is kinda boring

GameBro sounds like a douche lol

Woooow his dad likes clowns

What does John have against Betty Crocker????

Man, John is making a mess of his house

"You are allergic to their scorn" about the peanut gallery is pretty funny!

HE IS NOT STUCK AT HOME!!! HE CAN GO OUTSIDE!!!

OOOOO I really like the page with "You have a feeling it's going to be a long day"

Sorry the post is so long and kinda disjointed, hopefully that'll change in the future!!

#i like situational jokes like that relating to the peanut gallery #homestuck #homestuck replay #other players

[tenaciouschronicler]

Lots and LOTS have happened in the few days I haven't updated. But Hussie FINALLY took a day off so I have the chance to review in peace!!

First off we have new rules for the captchalogue system, including a size limit to digify items AND the potential to increase the upper limit (hasn't happened yet, but the office card speaks volumes). John has also opened the massive tomb "Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery"

and NOTHING useful for actually pranking someone of course (honestly disappointed there are no practical tips in this page). The picture in the middle looks a dead ringer for Mark Twain tho... idk if it is supposed to be Sassacre or just a collage of 1900's looking clownery and Twain's pic is public domain. I guess we'll see.... We also have a brandy new room to explore, complete with last years Dark Knight Joker on the piano. AND WE HAVE SOUND. OMG WE HAVE SOUND!! I think i've played the piano refrain a dozen times its so beautiful!! I'm starting to get the hang of Hussie's emotional whiplash between 4chan humor, niche commercials, and haunting, beautiful and poetic moments. Moments filled with niche media literacy, that he then lies about the source of. I have to look up so many quotes just to be sure who said it guys. So much homework!!! (>.<)

But is does lead into the best part of the updates. WE MADE IT OUTSIDE.

Not only that BUT we have a beautiful animated title page, complete with neverending wind-chimes and a haunting monologue of emptiness and the feeling of missing something unknown.

"The streets are empty. Wind skims the voids keeping neighbors apart, as if grazing the hollow of a cut reed, or say, a plundered mailbox. A familiar note is produced. It's the one Desolation plays to keep its instrument in tune. It is your thirteenth birthday, and as with all twelve preceding it, something feels missing from your life. The game presently eluding you is only the latest sleight of hand in the repertoire of an unseen riddler, one to engender a sense not of mirth, but of lack. His coarse schemes are those less of a prankster than a common pickpocket. His riddle is Absence itself. It is a mystery dispersing altogether, like the moon's faint reflection, with even one pebble of inquiry dropped in its black well. It is the most diabolical riddle of all. "Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire." -Walt Whitman Yes, you are certain Walt Whitman said that. One hundred percent positive. You have a feeling it's going to be a long day."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld said that... not Walt Whitman. I am starting to think John reads a LOT of classic literature and is not a great narrator. I am not an English Major OR Literature Major tho, so this means little to me in the grand scheme of plots and subtext. Moving on.

we have two packages found at last and a visible SBURB disc.... trapped with father who may or may not be baking yet ANOTHER cake. more small mysteries and conflict to hold onto XD Finally, as we go back inside... the cake did not hold as adhesive and our harlequin doll is now missing an arm. Tragedy. Throw it in the fire. PLEASE. Since this has been a lot of updates together I am afraid I have missed things and underplayed just how much were in the last 20 pages... so if you notice anything else let me know!! I wanna see it all!.

#i forgot to mention the arm! #i found that a great detail #homestuck #homestuck replay #other players

[tenaciouschronicler]

four kids play a game...

#homestuck #fanart #hsrp spoilers #beta kids

[tenaciouschronicler]

Finally getting around to taking this quiz. I took it first then read the analysis, and gotta say... someone with big dreams and little motivation... too close friend back up please... please

Week 1 Retrospective: Who Is John Egbert?

It’s official - Homestuck is one week old today! And while a week is not a long run for a comic, it’s already got more pages than the author’s earlier work Bard Quest, so maybe it’s something worth recognizing. So I wanted to mark a week of Homestuck by doing a deep dive on what we’ve learned about our protagonist John Egbert so far. It’s some fact collection, some wild speculation, and some ongoing questions. It’s over 3000 words, so it’s under a readmore for anyone who’s interested.

If that doesn’t sound like a fun time to you (or even if it does), you can take the John Egbert Big 5 Personality Test to see how you score on John’s five key personality traits. It’s 14 multiple choice questions, so a much quicker read.

We’re introduced to John on page 4, where we’re given five key interests of his: bad movies, programming computers, paranormal lore, amateur magic, and gaming. I’ll take these one by one and use them as a framework for John’s character so far.

“You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES.”

John has eleven (11) movie posters on his walls. Of these, three star Matthew McConaughey and two star Nicolas Cage. More notably, six have a Rotten Tomatoes rating below 50%, and two of these are below 10%. I haven’t seen any of these movies, but as far as I can tell, here are the one sentence summaries [broad spoilers for all these movies].

Little Monsters: A boy befriends a monster and visits the monster world, where they try to convert him into a monster too.

Con Air: A paroled man disrupts a gang of prisoner’s escape from a prison transport plane.

Deep Impact: Earth tries to prepare for extinction after a comet is found on a collision course with Earth.

Ghostbusters II: After going out of business, the Ghostbusters reunite to combat a negative energy slime monster.

Mac and Me: A boy befriends a young alien who gets separated from his family and lost on Earth.

Contact: An Earth scientist successfully discovers alien life and travels to an alien world.

A Time to Kill: A father is acquitted in court for killing the perpetrators of racial hate crimes against his daughter.

Failure to Launch: A 35 year old man’s parents hire a woman to persuade him to finally move out of their home.

Face/Off: A terrorist and a FBI agent go through facial transplant surgery and temporarily swap identities.

Armageddon: A group of space workmen go on a mission to stop an asteroid from destroying Earth. 

Ghost Dad: A man temporarily dies but is able to interact with his children in ghost form.

From this we can see that John really likes science fiction movies related to aliens, ghosts and monsters, as well as action comedy. We also know from page 21: ‘Films about impending apocalypse fascinate you’. A Time to Kill and Failure to Launch are the only ones that don’t fit his taste. The implication here is that John really loved Matthew McConaughey in Contact and so watched his other movies even though they were things he wouldn’t usually watch.

I’m curious if these movies are intended as clues to John’s character, the future of the comic, or both. In terms of his character, they make me see him as someone who’s imaginative and goofy, young and carefree, not concerned with other people’s opinions, more interested in watching movies for their surface meanings and exciting stories, maybe wants to escape to a different world, might be a little bit gay. 

In terms of the future of the comic, it could be that we’re going to see literal aliens or monsters - they could even be already here, keeping John ‘homestuck’. Slime monsters are particularly highlighted, with Slimer from Ghostbusters appearing on John’s shirt and computer background, and his chumhandle, ectoBiologist, relating to slime. Slime invasion honestly feels too obvious, and anyway, several of John’s movies are about befriending a more benign supernatural force - could John’s Pesterchum friends be something other than human? Or maybe it’s a more metaphorical meaning, referring to John having a very different life to his friends? 

Two of these movies feature Earth extinctions by giant space rocks, but there’s absolutely no indication of this being a real world threat John is dealing with. Again, it could refer more generally to a sudden, life changing event that’s about to happen to disrupt John’s current state, something that would fit thematically with this being John’s 13th birthday, a milestone age.

There’s also a theme of crime and the legal system in several movies, including Con Air, the one that’s been most highlighted. The most obvious interpretation of John’s dad right now is that he’s a clown or performer, but there’s an outside chance he could be in law enforcement, or a criminal. It’s even possible that he’s currently in hiding or some kind of safe house. This would explain John being ‘homestuck’ and sick of spending time with his dad.

Speaking of John’s dad, I’m concerned for him based on the Ghost Dad summary - the comic keeps teasing his presence, but we haven’t actually seen him yet. Could he be a ghost? Or become one at some point? Alternatively, we know John has an already dead relative - could his nanna be a ghost? Did John dropping her ashes release her ghost? Family is a really common theme in movies, so I don’t know if a large number of these movies being about family (especially fathers) is relevant, but I’m noting it all the same.

“You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT.”

John claims he ‘likes to program’, but it actually seems to make him angry. We first learn ‘[y]ou were never all that great with data structures and you find the concept [of the stack modus] puzzling and mildly irritating.’ We then see three files on John’s desktop, two in ^CAKE - ‘pff.^CAKE’ and ‘FUCK FUCK FUCK.^CAKE’ and one in ~ATH - ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.~ATH’. These tell a clear narrative of John trying to work on his programming and getting increasingly more frustrated with his attempts, until inevitably giving up. Both of the programming languages are puns, too. ^ is often called a carat (carrot cake) while ~ is a tilde (til death). 

I know this is wild speculation, but… John started off coding in a harmless programming language, was already struggling, then for some reason switched over to the most ominous possible sounding language, screwed it up even worse, and now… he’s constantly haunted by the ghost of failed programming attempts in the form of his sylladex, which he appears to be new to using (he had no prior understanding of it on page 7 - although this could be handwaved due to video game tutorial logic), and which operates similarly to a computer program and seems to cause John endless frustration. He’ll have to figure out how to exploit the inventory system in ways that help him, which involves actually figuring out some stuff about coding, in order to partake in some real life ghostbusting, or monster hunting, or dealing with whatever threat he’ll have to deal with by using inventory hacks.

“You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE,” (...)

By far the interest of John’s that we’ve seen the least of so far, John’s love of the paranormal is mostly inferred through his movie preferences, and we don’t see any direct evidence of an interest in lore. However, I can’t stop fixating on John’s chumhandle: ectoBiologist. The comic’s first act was to draw attention to giving John a name, and for many 2009 kids, the names they go by online are more meaningful and representative of them than their real world names. 

‘ecto-’ means ‘outer, outside, external’ according to dictionary.com, and it’s actually a common prefix in a variety of fields of biology, but there’s no such thing as ‘ectobiology’ as a field, or an ‘ectobiologist’ - neither term has any search results prior to Homestuck. I think it’s way more likely that this refers to ectoplasm, a term from both cell biology and spiritualism that was popularized by Ghostbusters to mean any substance secreted by a ghost, in practice often manifesting as green slime. Slimer, who we can guess is John’s favorite, is a benign ghost made of pure ectoplasm. I love the idea that John loves this dumb ghost so much that he’s memorized all the lore about them in their appearances throughout the franchise, and devised this username based on being an expert on these ghosts right down to their biology (or at least thinking he is). 

The only catch is, ‘fondness for paranormal lore’ is very passive and doesn’t even imply much knowledge, much less action, while ‘biologist’ implies that John has been doing actual experiments. The idea of John trying to create a real life Slimer the same way other kids make slime in their kitchens is really entertaining, if an off the wall theory. Does ‘homestuck’ just mean John is grounded for an unethical science project? 

(...) “and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN.”

The magic chest is one of the biggest, most eye catching and most colorful objects in John’s room. We see its contents on page 8, which lean more into joke store items than things a magician might use, except for the trick handcuffs and perhaps the collapsible sword. The narration on this page states that John is neither a skilled magician nor a cunning prankster. I’m nitpicking definitions here, but everything John has done so far has been way more about pranks than about magic. 

John’s uses of the magic chest to date are…

various putting things into his inventory and removing them (funny, but unintentionally)

combining fake arms with cake (p.36) out of necessity, which ‘makes the cake at least 300% more hilarious’

merging hat with beagle puss to create a clever disguise (p.45) and wearing it for 25+ pages, which he acknowledges is a ‘shitty disguise’

attaching fake arms to harlequin doll (p.65), which makes it ‘AT LEAST a million percent funnier’

All of which are definitely not magic tricks, and honestly not even pranks. Arguably John’s best and most successful prank so far has been when he pretended not to have arms for the first six pages, before revealing his arms after the interface had gone to the trouble of moving the cake off his magic chest to get him some arms.

John keeps thinking about reading Colonel Sassacre’s Guide to Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery, but always finding some excuse not to. He can’t read it until he captchalogues it, but once he does that, it gets buried in his inventory. He assumes that the book can tell him the exact percentage increase of hilarity a prank leads to, but it’s too big for him to actually look anything up. 

An outside theory for this that I don’t think is likely simply because it’s so much darker than the comic has been so far, is that John loves this book, but since the incident where his nanna was killed by a copy (perhaps even this copy?) he hasn’t been able to bring himself to read it. A far more likely theory is that while John is an aspiring amateur magician, it’s more of a big idea, and he hasn’t actually done any magic yet. This also tracks with his weaksauce pranks above. And if that’s true, then it says a lot about John that he defines himself by a hobby he aspires to but doesn’t actually practice - he’s someone with big dreams and less motivation, just like his big dream of going to collect the mail from his father despite the lack of motivation that’s kept him messing around for 70 pages. 

“You also like to play GAMES sometimes.”

Potentially most important of all is Gamer John. We get a list of games John likes to play from inspecting his CD tower the same way we get a list of movies from looking at his posters. 

Bard Quest

The Caper Havers

Problem Sleuth

And It Don’t Stop

What Pumpkin?

Ghostbusters II MMORPG

Little Monsters (for Nintendo)

Harry Anderson: Call My Bluff!

The first five games all reference previous work by the author of Homestuck, and as such probably don’t need in depth analysis. However, the fact that within the world of Homestuck, these are all games (instead of comics) is one of several suggestions that we should think of Homestuck as a game, something that needs further analysis. 

The next two games are video game adaptations of movies we know John likes, and the last is a branded video game from Harry Anderson, whose book we’ve already seen in John’s magic chest. Notably, none of these are real video games in our world either. It says a lot that John plays game versions of things he already likes (he’s put ‘countless manhours’ into this assortment of quality titles). 

However, it’s undeniable that the most important game in John’s life right now is Sburb. The poster is behind his head in the first panel, placed centrally with one of the only two splashes of color in the panel. The beta release is the only thing marked on his calendar for April besides his birthday, and the Sburb logo is even the picture printed on the calendar - perhaps it’s a calendar themed around new game releases? There’s clear delight on John’s face when he thinks about getting the beta, and his quest to fetch it from the recently delivered mail is the closest thing to a story this comic has so far.

Unfortunately, we know almost nothing about Sburb, so we don’t know what it says about John that he wants to play it. It’s publicized as the Game of the Year, and according to GameBro, the game may be about houses and the player may not get to thrash anything, although these details are provided by someone who hasn’t played the game so I’m not taking them as expert opinion. It might be multiplayer - TT has been pestering TG all day about playing it with her. Maybe John just wants to share a game with his friends.

Speaking of GameBro, John can’t stand the magazine, although he for some reason has a copy on his desk. He describes the publication as ‘a joke’ to TG, and he makes the effort to take it downstairs to the fire and burn it, presumably releasing asbestos fibers into the house and causing serious lung damage to himself and his father. Does he read this because it’s the only games magazine that exists? Or did he like it just fine until now, when it trashed the game he’s excited about, and now he’s furious with it? Either way, it tracks with John’s overall fondness for critically panned media that he would be angry about contrarian critics. 

–

All of this has left me with a few questions about John as our main character. These are the things that I’m keeping an eye on and trying to answer as the story continues.

What is John good at?

We hear so much about what John is bad at. He’s explicitly stated to be bad at programming, pranks, and magic. He’s bad at using his sylladex. He’s clumsy and knocked over his nanna’s ashes. He’s got bad taste in media. He’s funny but only when he doesn’t try to be, and even then he’s sometimes the butt of the joke, where the joke is how not funny John’s joke is. He was tempted to squawk like an imbecile and shit on his desk. He has like six different prankster props and he doesn’t even use all of them. I’m saying all this with love and kindness because he also just seems like such a sweet kid, but so far he doesn’t have any defined strengths or skills. 

Is he going to turn out to be really good at gaming and kick ass at Sburb? Are we going to get a curveball where it turns out John is an amazing baker, and he hates the cakes in his room and the smell of Betty Crocker because he can do so much better than that packet mix? Or is he starting off from this low point so he can develop skills as time goes on?

What is John’s relationship with his dad really like?

John doesn’t want his dad to monopolize his time and feels trapped in his room, despite his dad baking cakes and leaving notes on gifts telling John he’s proud of him. John’s dad gets his son one great present that John’s really appreciative of, and one terrible present that John immediately hates. All of this feels very reasonable and normal for a teen feeling misunderstood by a parent who’s trying their best. 

And then there’s the clowns.

John can excuse magical frivolity and practical japery, but he draws the line at harlequins. He’s an aspiring magician, but his dad’s figurines are ‘fucking garbage’ and his dad ‘sure can be a real cornball’. John seems like somebody who gets angry at ultimately unimportant things, like bad reviews of games, too many cakes, and harlequin figurines, but because of the subject matter it reads like an intense rivalry between two highly specific subcultures that outsiders would group together. John is really making a huge deal of needing to disguise himself and mentally prepare himself to go down and face his dad, and I want to know if there’s any genuine reason behind John’s fear, or if it’s solely the overdramatics I’m starting to think are typical of him.

Is John ‘Homestuck’?

‘Sometimes you feel like you are trapped in this room. Stuck, if you will, in a sense which possibly borders on the titular.’ (p.30)

John clearly feels like he’s stuck at home, but is this the extent of the title’s meaning? His dad has recently returned from getting groceries, so leaving the house is in theory possible. Reasons why John might be homestuck include: he’s not allowed to leave the house (for example, he’s grounded, or his dad is very controlling), he can leave the house but there’s nowhere to go (he lives near major roads, bodies of water, farms, or other obstacles, and there’s no public transport to get anywhere), or he can leave the house but it’s not safe to do so (there’s some sort of external threat, either supernatural like a monster or alien invasion, or mundane like a criminal or bomb threat). Seeing out of John’s window and into his front yard does not provide any clues; it looks like an extremely average front yard with a tree, swing and mailbox, and we know the mail was recently delivered, so there can’t be anything too world-ending happening in the neighborhood. Right now John’s goal (the Sburb Beta disc) is inside the house, so this might not get answered right away - in fact, my running theory is that the game itself might hold the answers, as its logo is a house.

What’s the differentiation between John and the narrator?

My biggest question of all, and one that probably deserves its own essay. I’m fascinated by the lines ‘In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle.’ (p.27) and ‘In a home, a FIREPLACE needs a fire, because that's what FIREPLACE is for.’ (p.50). These lines carry so much opinion, but because the narrator is constantly addressing John with the second person ‘you’, I don’t think these are John’s opinions. The narrator does have a window into John’s thoughts, so the line between them can be blurred, but there's clearly a distinction somewhere, because there have been pushbacks and disagreements between the two of them. 

One theory is that John’s dad is the narrator - John’s at home a lot for whatever reason, and so the constant and overbearing presence of his dad means that he can’t get him out of his head even when he’s alone, the commands at the top of each page reflecting John’s dad’s level of control over his son’s life. But I think this question is open ended enough that I’m not willing to commit to one theory yet. After all, we ‘examine 3rd and 4th walls of [John’s] room’ which is a directly meta allusion to the comic’s audience that only really makes sense if the narrator isn’t a character in the comic itself. 

–

I think John Egbert has been really well characterized so far. He feels like a real kid, one who keeps getting off track and forgetting what he should be doing, but one who it’s enough fun to get to know that I don’t really notice. While the main character in media often doesn’t end up being the most interesting character, I do want to keep an eye on John because I think he has a lot going on to analyze. Above the style and the world and the mechanics, John as a character is the aspect of the comic I’m most interested in right now.

#i feel called out #which ptobably wasnt your intention but man #homestuck #homestuck replay #other players #john egbert

[tenaciouschronicler]

who am i without homestuck

#tfw no webcomic update #is a real mood #gives us time to marinate what we do have tho #homestuck replay #homestuck #other players #text post #misc