#youll save yourself a lot of nerves

[bungou-stray-controversy]

I really hate the way the fandom treats Mori, like canonly he's not a good person but he always does stuff for a reason and usually works for the greater good even if his methods are not something other would agree on. But most of the fandom acts like he's this totally evil dude who totally either sexual abused Dazai or would torture him for fun despite there being nothing to back that up. =

Fandoms sure like to gang up on a certain character and ignore all the background and possible motivations. Intentions only matter when it comes to fandom favourites, everyone else is on thin fucking ice and then there’s this one character the fandom just loves to hate and abuse and regardless of their background, beliefs, values or motivations, they will always be seen as evil. We’re not defending this bullshit of a stance but just saying, it’s not Bungou specific. And somehow that’s sadder than if it were.

But back to your point, Mori is a very fleshed-out character, one of the best examples of BSD’s gray morality theme that touches upon literally everything in this series. And maybe it’s this blatant exposure to the double standards people have that makes him so hated. Nobody hates on Dazai for abusing Akutagawa since he was what, 13? Nobody hates on the previous Mafia boss for recruiting Oda to join the Mafia while he was still a child. Nobody at all hates on Kouyou for projecting onto Kyouka and emotionally abusing and blackmailing her while the girl is 14. Why? Well, because all these characters have very specific circumstances, at least in the fandom’s point of view.

Dazai? Oh, he just doesn’t understand what it is to be human, he’s just a confused suicidal uwu bean and he made a change for the better! Except no, he’s not confused, he’s not cute and he didn’t make a change. He was forced to change after the only person he ever cared about at all died in his arms after telling him he was essentially a piece of garbage of a human being but could do better. Dazai is a sadistic sociopath but the fandom loves him because most of us are a bunch of depressed idiots and think that because a character constantly jokes about suicide, it’s A-ok to forget all the bad he ever did because depression is an instant Monopoly Get Out Of Jail card.

The old mafia boss? He’s dead, why should we care about him? Well, perhaps to compare. Since Mori gets so much shit for just being on top of the Mafia, let’s review what the old head did. This man made blood rain from the sky and bathed Yokohama in red to the point where even the Mafia itself became disgusted with the sheer amount of corpses. Not only were fights on daily basis, somehow that still wasn’t enough for the delusional old man. He didn’t care what happens to his subordinates, to his organization, so long as his personal grudges were settled.

And then we get to Kouyou, aka the most blatant, shameless sexism we get in this fandom. It’s disgusting, it’s sickening and it’s so annoying it’s one of the reason none of the mods are able to properly enjoy her character at all. The terribly idiotic “She’s a girl so she can’t do anything wrong uwu” mentality this shitstorm of a fandom has. Fuck that. Kouyou is abusive and fucked Kyouka up probably even more than Akutagawa – he at least wishes her well when she decides for her own way in life while Kouyou instead tries to kill the one person who showed her genuine care and uncovered how disgusting Kouyou’s abuse actually is. She’s also one of the Mafia executives, she’s also an assassin. She spilled innocent blood, probably far more by her own hands than Mori ever did. Don’t ever come to us trying to defend anything she did.

Can you still like these characters? Of fucking course you can! Can you argue for their motivations? Of course! But you know what we don’t want here? People who act like none of this happened or feel entitled to spread hate on other characters who did far less evil if we’re looking at consequences alone.

Mori is not perfect by any chance. He’s  not a good person, not a good guardian, not even a very good and trustworthy doctor. However, he is an excellent leader and a great protector of Yokohama. He’s the person who keeps the underworld in check so it doesn’t spill to the surface too much. He’s the person who, along with Fukuzawa and Taneda, watches after Yokohama and makes sure it’s safe for normal people. He’s also the person who takes in those who have no place anywhere else and gives their life a purpose – a dark and violent one but a purpose never the less. People need to get their heads out of their asses and stop making up bulshit excuses to hate on one character but apologize a far more twisted and messed-up one.

#bungou stray controversy #no content for you #better lock that thought up #theres probably not even any need for more of the tags #everything has been said in the post already #fuck this fandom #fuck it so so much #at this point its really better to just enjoy the series and not give a shit about the fandom #youll save yourself a lot of nerves #mori controversial #we forgot we had that one

[mythiica]

Reader x Shingen Takeda - Tiger of the Bedroom {NSFW}

Title: Tiger of the Bedroom

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Character: Shingen Takeda

Genre: lets get this smUT, AU

Warnings: cringe and smut

Kinks: HORRIBLE dirty talk that i will try to make sexy, blowjob, fingering, squirting, biting, sucking, kissing, being filmed, internal cumshot, external cumshot, creampie, idk a lot of stuff 

Intended Gender Audience: Female Audience 

Word Count: 3797 words

POV: second person

Other comments: thank you @breadcheese444​ for helping me beta this!!! also @rainylune​ and @reluctantclementine​ challenged me to write this <3 hope yall enjoy. there are more comments explaining the smut at the very end (read the smut first otherwise youll spoil the smut) . hold on to ur panties,,, I did kind of take the easy way out of this and this is a pornstar!shingen x pornstar!mc AU (what an au) . also, dont @ me im not a porn star so just take this all as fiction idk the details im just a writer anyways hf with ur porn

.

.

.

If you said you weren’t excited, you would be lying. Filming a scene with Shingen Takeda is an honor. After all, he has earned the title Tiger of the Bedroom for a reason. Not the Tiger of Squirt, or the Tiger of Bondage, no, he is the tiger of the room itself because he is good at everything and anything that conspires in the bedroom.  The man is also known for being flirtatious and charming even off the set, making him especially dangerous. Rumors say that he held up for nearly half a day during a particular shoot and kept a girl going for hours for another film. 

          You flip through the script for the hundredth time, gripping the worn paper between your manicured nails. A new writer is trying to make their break with their story, but you don’t really know how you will be able to make any of it sound appealing. Who the fuck asks to be given ‘seeds’? Rolling your eyes, you toss the packet onto your vanity and check your makeup. 

         Although you’ve already met Shingen, you are the slightest bit apprehensive about shooting this. Would you be able to put on a show? Would he be able to tell if you fake it? There is always a level of uncertainty in this business, but you swallow your worries and pull your robe over your shoulders. 

         Glancing up at the clock, you realize that you are due on set in just a matter of minutes. No use in procrastinating now. It would be easier to have fun, no? 

         When you greet him, he gives you a bright smile and kisses your hand. “Just to confirm, you know the designated safe word?” 

         You blink, not sure of the last time someone asked you that. “Yeah, no worries.” 

         Again he smiles, but this time he does so with his entire face. It is a kind gesture, and you appreciate it. Now that the formalities are over, he takes a seat on the bed and offers you a hand. “Are you ready?” 

You did not realize how big he was when you watched some of his other films for… research. Shingen stripped himself and now stands in front of you, holding himself. How is he already erect? 

         Pushing the questions out of your mind, you arch your back, making your ass protrude towards the camera. As you wrap your fingers around the base of his cock, Shingen exhales sharply. His hand falls down to take a handful of hair. He pulls it back, but then tangles his fingers in your locks, giving him something to grip onto as you take him into your mouth. 

         You gag slightly as his tip brushes the back of your throat. There is still more of him to take, but he does not force himself. A strangled moan escapes his lips, giving you the cue to start bobbing your head. Your lips are like velvet, sliding down his length with ease – for someone with his reputation, Shingen tenses quickly, but you guess that he is just used to this type of treatment. 

         Precum weeps from his tip and dribbles down the side of your mouth. One of the cameras pans around to film you from the front, so you pull your head back and let the white mixture spill from your lips. It falls onto his member, so you use it as lubricant to pump him slowly. With just one hand on him, you barely cover half of his length – the other hand is busy strumming the soft skin where his thigh connects to his body. Pressing a lazy kiss to the inside of his thigh, you look Shingen directly in the eye and smirk deviously. “Are you going to cum so fast, daddy?” 

         Shingen tugs on your hair sharply, something you are not expecting, and he smirks coyly. “I want to hear you say it, my angel.” He brushes his thumb over your cheek, encouraging you. Really, you expected him to call you something degrading – slut, whore – but he did not. Instead, he gives you big eyes filled with wonder and a smile that makes your heart melt. 

         This is not what you thought would happen when you signed a contract to do a scene with him. Still though, who are you to complain?

         “Give me your seed,” you mewl as you wrap all ten fingers around his cock. It’s an awkward phrase to say, but you flick your tongue out to brush over his slit to distract him from the words. Shingen throws his head back and moans. The sound is loud and round, echoing throughout the entire set. If you had been wearing panties, they would have dropped to the ground upon hearing it. 

         “Babygirl, keep going, don’t stop…” 

         Someone makes a motion towards you to speed things up. Shifting your weight around, you spread your legs and tuck a hand between your folds. You finger yourself in harmony with the languid strokes you deliver his hard cock. It is not long before your digits are soaked with your essence. Although you want to keep going, you know that the scene has yet to properly start, so you wipe your hand clean on Shingen’s waist. 

         He chuckles at this, and it makes his chest rumble. “Saving yourself for later?” 

         You nod and deep throat him suddenly. It catches Shingen by surprise, and he arches over you for a moment before he remembers his place – he isn’t allowed to get in the way of the cameras, so he leans back and tenses his muscles. 

         “Daddy, your cock is so big that I have to. You’re going to stretch me so much–” You aren’t sure about this, but you know that it’s a line that a lot of people get off to. But you don’t linger on it, and continue to suck on him. Your tongue whirls around his length, and you pull your best moves to make him cum as quickly as possible. 

         Shingen continues to watch you with wide eyes. You mesmerize him, really – the way he can see his member protruding in your mouth makes him giddy. He won’t admit it, but he is very turned on by the act you are putting on. He has to hold back the urge to buck upwards into your mouth, as he can feel his tip rubbing the back of your throat anyways. Anymore, and surely you would choke on him. Shingen would love to see cum dribbling down your lips, but he does not want to do it at your expense. 

         He does, however, grip your hair tighter. Shingen follows your motions, guiding you down slightly. Every time your teeth graze over the protruding nerves, Shingen moans. You try to smile slightly, but it results in a painfully loud squelching sound. 

         Someone groans offset, so you glance beyond the set from the corner of your eye for a split second before returning your gaze to Shingen. You want to pull off and make that irresistible pop sound, but Shingen clamps his large hand down on the back of your neck. He’s rough now, and you cannot move. You know this sensation all too well – it is the tell tale sign that Shingen is about to cum.

         You prepare yourself for him to burst, but he does not right away. He holds on, groaning and biting his lip. His free hand disappears from your neck, and he rakes his fingers through his hair. It must be a glorious sight – you’ve seen him do it in recordings. However, having the honor to see Shingen’s hair slicked back with sweat is truly a sight to behold. 

         Humming against him, you manage to make that beautiful sound when you pull off. You give Shingen a few lazy kisses to the side of his length before pumping him once more. “Oh my darling,” you say with an exaggerated accent, “my darling, how I love to fuck you.” Arching your back once more, you smile and tip your head to the side. “And how I would love to be fucked by you. So cum, please.” 

         When you stick your tongue out, you apply the right amount of pressure to the base of his cock, which finally coaxes him to cum – onto your face. You close your eyes at the right time, as some lands on your brow bone. He moans and releases your hair before cupping your face with one hand. 

         “That’s wonderful, my angel. Such a good girl!” 

         You aren’t used to this soft type of dirty talk, but you quite enjoy it. He strokes your cheek with a loving touch, and, for a split second, you forget that you’re recording a scene. For that moment, all you can see is Shingen, the way he glows in the post-climax bliss and how his eyes fill with joy. 

         Your minute of fantasizing is short lived as Shingen grasps your shoulders to pull you upright. He is strong, and it takes him little effort to hoist you from the ground and onto the bed. Shingen leans back and lets you crawl over him. When you lean down to grind against him, Shingen’s lips graze your ear. “Don’t force it. Let it come naturally. Yeah?” 

         His voice was gentle before, but now it’s… genuine. He wants you to feel comfortable with what you are doing. You appreciate it, but you do not anticipate what happens next: Shingen flips you over with incredible speed. He takes on the dominant role, just as you are used to. 

         “You ready, babygirl?” 

         “Fuck me, daddy,” you growl back, flicking your tongue out to lap at the white that hangs from the corner of your lips. It’s strangely sweet, after the powerful salty taste. You can’t complain as sometimes it tastes closer to battery acid, but Shingen lusts over you as you lick your lips. It is pretty obvious that he is getting hard again. 

         Shingen reaches for the bottle of lube on the nightstand and lathers it onto his palm. You know that this intermedial moment will be cut from the scene, so you roll over onto the mattress and spread your legs. He exhales slowly, and his eyes narrow as he cups his hand over your cunt. The gel is cold and fragranced, and Shingen pulls your folds apart to spread it across you. 

         There is little time for formalities – Shingen lounges next to you and pulls your leg over his thighs as to expose you further. One of the cameras pans around directly in front of you. Only now do you realize it has a squirt guard – a piece of transparent plastic that protects the lense from any release. 

         Oh, you realize, he’s going to make me squirt. 

         As the thought comes to mind, Shingen slaps your pussy and nips your shoulder. A moan tickles the back of your throat, and you roll your hips against him. He is quick to place a firm hand on your hip and push you back against the bed. “Behave, my love. You will cum in due time.” 

         With that, he inserts two fingers into you. The lube helps him ease one knuckle in at a time until his palm is flush against your clit. Your muscles tighten around him, and you try to squirm. It is not an act for once. In fact, you feel amazingly full with just his fingers scissoring inside of you. They work you apart slowly, making wet sounds fill the room. Shingen takes your nipple into his mouth and sucks hard on it, using his teeth occasionally to make you moan. 

         You manage to arch your back to his touch, and he leans back to chuckle. Shingen buries his nose into the crook of your neck to suck on your jaw. He is intent on leaving a hickey there, and you are not complaining. But when you let your tongue fall out of your mouth and whine, Shingen pulls back and tips his head to the side. 

         “Do you want to say something, babygirl?” He had been fingering you intently, but the pace reduces. The knot that had built up in your stomach slowly fades, and you kick your legs like a brat. 

         “No!” 

         “No?” 

         “Don’t stop,” you plead. It’s the truth; you don’t want him to stop because he was just about to rub your g-spot. He might be referred to as Tiger of the Bedroom, but Shingen is known for making women squirt within minutes of finding their weak spots. “Please~” you mewl as lewdly as possible. “Don’t ever stop fucking me!”

         Shingen exhales, his chest rattling as he does, and he grips your neck with his free hand. His digits slip back inside of you, but this time, he rubs his thumb against your clit. Your folds glisten with slick, but your essence keeps dribbling from your hole as he finger fucks you mercilessly. Some of it runs down your thighs and stains the bedding, but that is someone else’s problem. From this position, you know that, to your dismay, he won’t eat you out. However, the fact that he edges you masterfully almost makes up for it. 

         He brings you to the brink of cumming quickly, but keeps you suspended there for what feels like ages. Each time you bring your hips up to meet his thrusts, you feel yourself about to cum. However, at the same instance, he slows down like the handsome devil he is. Again, Shingen takes your pert bud between his teeth and rolls his tongue over it. The sensation is enough for you to chase your climax. As your muscles clench down on his fingers, Shingen finally strokes your g-spot, caressing the buildup in your abdomen. 

         As you orgasm, your legs tremble. Shingen takes this as a sign to remove his fingers from you momentarily. After being edged, the climax has built up and practically explodes out of you. You release hard, making Shingen smile. It comes out in waves, so he slaps your sopping folds to coax more squirt. You lift your head for a split second, and your gaze lands on the camera. 

         Thank goodness for the splash guard. 

         Shingen gives you little time to recover and pulls you onto his lap. Your back is flush against his muscular chest, and his cock rubs against your folds. He’s so warm, and it envelops you. You want him inside of you, scene or not. No one had been able to make you squirt like that, and you are still in a daze from the pleasure he gifted you. 

         He hears your soft babbles and inserts himself into you slowly. And you thought that he stretched you out when he fingered you. 

         Shingen is kind and gives you a moment to adjust to him. Then the bouncing and the hip rolling and the dirty talk that echoes in your ears begins. He’s telling you how amazing you feel around him and how beautiful you look when you tip your head back at him. At one point, he repositions himself slightly so that he hits deep inside of you. The two of you have not been going long before you find yourself moaning and begging for more. 

         “Fill me with your seed!” you whine. “Flood me with your seed… Explode in me!” You are struggling for words because he is hitting all the spots that make you go weak. And you know that Shingen is enjoying seeing you like this – that pompous smirk has been plastered across his beautiful features for the past ten minutes. He very well knows that your mind is fried and that you cannot think of anything proper to say, but still, Shingen dips his head low and growls, “Tell me more, babygirl.” 

         He’s enjoying this too much. 

         “Your cock drives me wild, Daddy! I’m out of control but don’t stop.” 

         You aren’t in any position to hold back anymore, so when Shingen kisses your neck, his way of asking you to say more, you let all the dirty talk tumble from your bruised lips. “It feels so good to have you inside of me.” 

         “Does it?” His fingers dig into the supple skin of your hips, and he pushes you down on his cock until you feel his scrotum slapping against you. His lips graze over your jaw, and even though he’s done this so many times, you still shiver at his touch. Shingen smells like sweat and cum – it isn’t the most attractive scent in the world, but it makes you wet just thinking about how much of a mess the two of you are making. 

         “Do you like it when I do this?” He reaches around your torso and clasps your swollen clit between two digits. There is no mercy when it comes to Shingen Takeda. His cock slides in and out of you easily, making incredible squelching sounds with ever slick motion. You swallow hard and look down only to realize that you can very well see his member protruding in your abdomen. 

         “Yes!! I love it!” 

         “Good girl…” Shingen follows your gaze down and licks his lips. “I think I can see why–” His hand trails up your abdomen slowly and he applies pressure against your body. More so that before, you can feel him rubbing against your insides. 

         I’ve never known such pleasure, such ecstasy, you think to yourself. You would be far too embarrassed to say it aloud. Shingen lives to be praised and worshiped, so you know you would be feeding into his game if you did. He is especially partial to exaggerated language, so you know he would love it if you said that.

         Shingen watches your eyes roll back into your head, but he brings you back by kissing you deeply. You taste the passion and the love in the kiss. When you pull back, you drop one hand to your clit and resume the job he had been doing earlier. Even though you bounce on his cock, you look deep into his eyes and realize: ah, yes, it is love. He’s not fucking me, he’s making love to me. 

         And it just slips out. Your lips brush against his sharp jaw, and you mumble “I’m lost in your love.” 

         His grip fails momentarily before he composes himself and smiles. “Yeah?” 

         But you don’t give him the romantic dirty talk that he is looking for; instead, you roll your hips back and moan loudly, “Every thrust of your cock… you take me higher and hig-” Shingen knows your act, so he covers your mouth with a hand. 

         The knot in your stomach is nearly ready to explode. You wonder how much longer before–

         Oh. 

         You stand up the best you can and let your release flow freely. It soaks the mattress again and his cock, but he pushes your hips back down. He’s fucking you senseless now, and every time he goes flush against you, you let out a powerful moan. 

         “I’m going to cum–” he growls roughly, biting on your ear. 

         Clenching your muscles as tightly as you can, you pray it is enough to make him follow through on his promise. You throw your hand behind his head and rake your fingers through his hair to pull his head down. He groans at this and bites your shoulder in response. 

         “I went for you–” But you cover your mouth quickly and realize that is not proper English anymore. It is hard to think straight with him thrusting into you with so much vigor. 

         You try again. “Daddy~” 

         “You’re so wonderful, fuck–” he praises with a half-groan. “You’re the best, babygirl. No one else can compare.”  

         You feel his warmth inside of you for a split second before he pulls out and paints your abdomen with white. It slips down your sweaty skin, so you catch some of it between your fingers and rub it against your folds. Tipping your hips forward, you expose yourself for the creampie shot. It dribbles down your thigh, making you shiver slightly. 

         Shingen pants heavily and helps you stand up, but you aren’t done now. You sit back down on him and grind hard against him. “Give me more, more, more.” You grip your breasts and put on the best show you ever have. Shingen gets the message and grips your ass with one hand and tucks the other around your waist with the other. “Don’t stop until I have every drop of your seed.” Turning your head back to him, you smirk and say the next phrase for him and him alone: “Every drop of your love.”

         Really, you want this thrill, this ecstasy, go on and on and on forever, but you remember that everyone has an expiration moment. Shingen’s is close– 

         He cums inside of you again, but this time, you don’t let him pull out until you feel his muscles relax. When he does remove himself, you fall back on the mattress and bathe in the post-sex euphoria. You catch your breath and sit up only to receive a quick kiss from Shingen. 

         The scene is over and someone calls time before the crew starts clapping. Flustered by this attention, you blush and stand up to get your robe. Pulling it over your body, you pad over to the director to make sure that everything looked good. 

         You can feel Shingen’s eyes on you from across the room, but you pay little attention to it. Even when the director comments about the amazing chemistry you have with him, you brush it off saying that the both of you were just playing the part. 

         Shingen collects his things to leave when you are still talking with the director, so you excuse yourself and run after him. 

         “I have to ask,” you start, reaching for Shingen’s shoulder, “You… taste sweet. Just the slightest bit. Why?” 

         When Shingen smirks, you feel your face flushing. “I make sure to eat a lot of fruits. You know, it makes it easier to swallow. The least I can do to make the whole thing more enjoyable.” His smirk softens into a bright and friendly grin. “I’ll be seeing you around then.” Shingen turns around all the way and waves over his shoulder. “Maybe we’ll do something again soon!” 

         You feel your knees going weak, but you force yourself to keep your composure – and for good reason too, because Shingen peeks over his shoulder. His charcoal eyes narrow and look you over once before he looks straight and walks towards the door. 

         Once he is out of sight, you exhale slowly. 

         Damn you, Tiger of the Bedroom.

.

.

.

.

.

if you recognized the quotes its because they are from a jesus sex cult!!!!! rachel and lyric challenged me to write a smut with the quotes. I didnt know they were from the jesus sex cult at first but i thought, hell, ill make this a hella good smut and then pull a fast one on ya. Ofc, i removed the “jesus” and i forced a couple of lines to make them fit the smut/made some of them not quotes/changed a bit of the grammar bc they were wrong and it bothered me. I couldnt use 2 lines because they were a bit too much xD and then there was 1 line that was nearly the exact same as another so i didnt use it. but i think i did pretty damn well thank u v much  <3

#ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikesen smut #ikesen shingen takeda #shingen takeda #reader x shingen #ikesen shingen x reader #smoot #this is so sinful omg #;) #cybird #otome #idk how to even tag this anymore

[nicoleatrandom-blog]

7 Quick Self-Care Tips You Can Fit Into Even the Busiest Schedule

i’ve really got to work on shortening these titles. 

Welcome to Thursday, friends! We’ve almost made it through the week, so you may find yourself in need of some quick relief to the stress of your everyday routine -- or perhaps even those things which have not gone your way recently. 

Self-care is an important thing that many of us forgo in the interest of working, homework, taking care of children and family, or any of the other many obligations we face on a day-to-day basis. Self-care becomes even more important when we are stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or angry — and I’m sure there are a million other instances in which we need to prioritize self-care. 

Maybe a lot of the reason we let self-care opportunities pass us by is because we think it will be too time consuming; the thing is, self-care doesn’t have to be taking time out to get a mani-pedi or a massage or a facial. It doesn’t have to be finding a sitter to get some alone time. It doesn’t have to be taking a mental health day from work and using those precious paid-time-off hours. 

I’ve compiled a list of seven things you can do to take care of yourself without taking too much extra time in the day or forcing your schedule to come to a complete halt. Do yourself a favor — read the list, then pick one or two to focus on for the next week or month. Obviously this list isn’t going anywhere, so feel free to come back to it anytime, and don’t forget to share your favorite on-the-go self-care tips in the comments! 

Have a hot beverage. This seems so simple it’s silly, but I’m serious. Make yourself a cup of coffee or a cup of tea. My go-to lately has been hot chocolate. Don’t forget that hot lemon water in the mornings! Put it in a to-go cup and continue on about your day while you drink it, or do what my friend Ashley does and pour into your favorite mug, have a seat, and put that to-do list on the backburner for a few minutes. I’ll tell you a secret: the list will still be there when you’re done. Crazy, right! The warm, coziness of having your favorite warm beverage will help to calm your nerves and soothe the tension of the day — and you know, no one said you can’t add a little grown-up juice, right? A little Bailey’s in your coffee, a hot toddy. Although, if you’re driving, at work, or taking care of kids, you might want to save the grown-up juice for later. 

Give your face a little extra care. I know, we’re talking about things that don’t take that much time, but hear me out. You’ve got to wash your face at night or in the morning anyway, right? Instead of your usual routine, throw a mask in there. The beauty industry has a whole range of face masks for purchase, and there are some that are not all that expensive. I’ve done masks that have to stay on anywhere from five to twenty minutes, so it depends on how much extra time you want to use. A five minute mask could be a good slow down for a hectic morning, but a twenty-minute mask can set while you get the kids ready, choose your outfit, or get your lunch together. Or, if you work the mask into your nighttime routine, it’s a great day to just close your eyes, put on your favorite music, and unwind from the day. Personally, I really enjoy Feeling Beautiful masks, which come in a one/two time use packages, or in a tube just under five dollars which lasts forever. Or, if an overnight mask is your thing, try Bliss’s What A Melon Overnight Mask. No affiliations here, just making some suggestions for masks that make me feel calm and pretty. 

Get up, make up, show up. Personally, nothing makes me feel more at ease than knowing I’ve beat my own mental blocks. Getting out of bed when I’d rather sleep a little longer, putting on a cute outfit when I would rather just throw on jeans and a t-shirt, putting on a full face of makeup (for me, this is less than others) and going to work when I just want to stay home bare-faced — if I can conquer that, I know I can conquer the rest of my day. 

It’s just one thing. When you’ve got a long list of things to do but you’re overwhelmed, the first thing you need to do is prioritize those things. What absolutely needs to be done today, and what can be moved to tomorrow or later in the week, or even next week? Once you’ve moved out things that are not required to be completed today, look at what you have left, how they’re prioritized, and just do one thing at a time. Don’t think about the x-number of things that are on the list, think about the thing that’s highest priority. Do that, cross it off the list, then do the next thing. Rinse, repeat. We get so caught up in getting things done that we tend to overwhelm ourselves at time. The thing is, life is hard enough, and, some days, we just don’t need to make it any harder. Simplify your to-do list, and take it from there. 

Eat what makes you happy. This one, you have to be careful. If you’re overwhelmed every day for a month, having tacos every day for a month might not be the best idea. But every now and then, forget the diet/healthy eating lifestyle, and get you some tacos — or whatever it is that makes you happy. Take that little bit of pressure off yourself and eat what you want. You’ll be surprised at how much just that one less thing makes a difference! Bonus #5 Info: There are foods that might actually improve your mood and mindset, and keep you healthy! Bananas, berries, quinoa, dark chocolate, green tea, apples … there’s more on the list, but these are just a few that will help to improve your mood and are relatively healthy. Google “food that makes you happy” and you’ll find even more options! 

Ask for help. Perhaps one of the most difficult things to do! We’ve been trained to have it together, to get things done, and to not burden others with our problems. I’m here to tell you, asking for help does wonders for my anxiety/stress. It’s okay to share your load with others, as long as you’re not taking advantage of them. That’s why we have family, why we have friends — and it lets them know that when they’re the ones who are stressed/overwhelmed/whatever the case may be, they can come to us for a return on the favor. 

Rock out like there’s no tomorrow. There’s no denying the calming effect of music. Play it while you complete your cleaning for the day or on the way home from dropping your kids at school or while you finish your errands for the day. Sing-along, shamelessly, and without caring what anyone else thinks. You’re taking care of you, and that’s all that’s important in that moment. 

Like I said, just a few things I’ve found that help me through days when the hours or even minutes seem insurmountable. What are your go-to quick self-care tips? Drop them in the comments below! 

I’ll see you (hopefully) Tuesday with a new post, and until then, keep moving forward. 

#self-care

[pensurfing]

Caitlin’s Three Things List

Okay, so moments (probably hours by the time I finish this) ago I wrote a goals list that I think is good for self-evaluation. (Keyword: This is what I think. results may vary depending on what you’re looking for.)

I’m going to hop to it and answer some of these that I laid out in hopes of having a better idea of what I want to accomplish. 

The Three Things Lists!

1) Three things that went well this year.

* Audience growth

So once upon a time, I grew a pretty decent following due to creating an Inktober Prompt list. My expectations: Maybe two of my friends would do this, maybe. And then one stranger that has followed me for a while. (There are a few followers I recognize their username because if I post something they always like it and for some reason that keeps me going.)

But because of this prompt, I was exposed to MANY new creators and illustrators that I now enjoy chatting with and following! Instagram had the biggest maintained growth. I’m excited to create for an audience that actually expects me to create and not just for friends who see my things “whenever they aren’t busy”. (Not to bash them or anything, just there are a lot where unless I tell them, they don’t see the posts I make.)

Another surge of growth in my audience was due to tabling at conventions this year. I was terrified to show my work let alone attempt to sell it to someone. Tabling at cons not only boosted my confidence but also quieted one of my ever going demons. “YoU sUcK aT dRaWiNg CaItLiN.” “How do you have a degree? oh right, you just barely passed.” I can’t say this is the case, there is an audience that genuinely enjoys my scribbles. So I am forever thankful to Atlanta Comic Con for giving me that chance. It honestly opened a few doors for me.

**Process

I’ve gotten more comfortable with showing my process. It can be messy, crisp, and illogical. But turns out the people who enjoy my content enjoy my scrambled thoughts. It’s something about not being alone in this sort of sense that calms the nerves.

So I can say with chest poked out that sharing process has gotten MUCH better. I can thank a self-help book I bought this year that was a FANTASTIC BUY. Austin Kleon has [two] (currently? If he has more then I’m buying it like people buy a name brand.) books that helped me see that it is GREAT to share not only the process but advice. “Show Your Work” is the book I’m talking about for now. Great tips, the outline is on the back of the book. So if you’re like me, I need to clearly see what I might be getting into, you might have a ball.

And finally, (not calling myself out on this but other) If you’re going to respond to people when they ask you “how do you___?” do not answer “Google it”. That is the rudest thing I’ve seen some of even my FAVORITE illustrators do; that response can burn in hell. PERIODT. (my one typo allowed.)

*** Art Style Exploration

For those who think college will help you establish an art style that you’ll enjoy or help nourish the one you currently have.... Let me save you over 80K.... No, the fuck it won’t.

That was the biggest thought I had going into art school. If anything, it confused me more and utterly destroyed what little confidence I had in my drawing style. After graduating, I had a huge swing from how I used to draw to how my art currently looks. I stopped trying to please the one professor who stood between me and my degree and started drawing to please my tastes. And guess what? That did something. And that something WORKED. I love what I draw now; I see why I chose this as my career path. I’m genuinely happy with how my pieces turn out versus in college just wanting to turn the damn thing in and hoping it isn’t an F.

2) Three things you could have handled better.

* The loss of a good paying client.

Now hear me out when I say this: A good paying client DOES NOT EQUAL a good client. Say that three times and then exhale.

Back earlier this year, I had the opportunity to work with a writer who gave me hell and back. And even that is an understatement. I dealt with her because in school you were taught “if they pay on time, finish the work and get the exposure.” 

I’m here to tell you my lesson learned: A good paying client DOES NOT EQUAL good exposure, good pay, a good client. 

I was doing the work of three for the price of one and a half. (And was always told I charged too much.) She tried abusing this power with friends of mine, with other illustrators. When things turned out bad, she tried saying it was my fault. She read my contract and then tried telling me I changed the wording, I purposely did this thing, another thing was my fault. I could go on with this story.

The part that I wish I handled better?

How I treated myself afterward. I’m so used to people telling me, “Cait, this is what you do wrong. This is how you fix it.” that I don’t consider my own feelings, and when I bring my feelings into the scenario they no longer matter. Because they tell me they don’t matter. In this case, I wish I had treated me better, because my feelings, my mental health, DOES matter.

**My Patience Getting Into Conventions.

Pretty self-explanatory. I got into one, finished one, and wanted to do eight more in a week. But this sort of thing just takes time and I need to accept that.

***My losses

I had to listen to a Little Mix song to actually learn this one. The context of the song is nowhere near the topic at hand. But a verse from Power feat Stomzy really packs a punch after this year: 

“ You look him in the eye and say, "I know I'm not a guy But see there's power in my losses and there's power in my wins" “

I had to look one of my demons in the face, and state something similar. My loses mean I’m trying. My loses piling shows I’m not willing to give up easily, and that is something that took a while to be content with.

3) Three things artistically you want to improve on.

*Composition

It’s not awful, but it can be better.

**Color

I told this BOLDLY if I might add while critiquing someone else’s portfolio; “Your color palette is boring. All your [things] look as if they are from the same universe, during the same time of day, with the same kind of mood. After three photos it’s bland, boring, and understood you have a preference.” 

Can you say damn Cait? The statement was, in fact, true, but I certainly could not talk. My color palette is mainly bright, pop, and happy. In order to tell a story, I KNOW it is best told with color. And I failed myself this year. But I sure won’t next year.

***My Damn Tag

Okay, alright. Why is it well-established artists have their tag figured out? Even some who’s art style is so recognizable (I’m looking HEAVILY at you Gabriel Piccolo.) we know it’s theirs, seem to have a tag that suits them and works for them. But more importantly, they put it in A VERY DECENT SPOT. SOMEONE SHARE THIS SCIENCE WITH ME? CAUSE APPARENTLY I DON’T GET IT.

4) Three things you want to focus on trying.

*More backgrounds.

As much as it pains me, I need to improve on backgrounds and perspective. When I do make backgrounds, I’m told I make great pieces. That I should look into becoming a background artist. And don’t get me wrong, I like them. But I don’t like them.

I feel as though I need to improve in that region so that way I don’t feel as though it’s a weakness of mine. My backgrounds are nice, but they aren’t nice to my standards.

**More designs

I love character designs, but let’s be real. If you were to scroll down my site or my Instagram page, or even this Tumblr archive, could you tell? 

I draw characters a lot sure, but none are designs. No process, no sheets, no turnarounds, none of that. So that’s a huge goal of mine for 2019.

***Scheduling posting

At one point I was pretty good at this. Live stream in Instagram and Twitter, cool. Videos on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Cool. Everywhere gets a photo, everywhere gets a silly one-liner. Yay. I’m not leaving anything out.

Well by the end of this year that totally crumbled. 

SO I want to try getting better at that thing there. Because having attempted this at the end of the year was cool, but it still wasn’t enough apparently.

5) Three positive things to tell yourself.

* You are an inspiration. That’s all you wanted to be in life, you did it. I’m proud of you.

**You didn’t kill yourself like you tried to; you opened up about it for once and used that pint up anger creatively. That is very hard to do, trust. I’m proud of you.

***You moved on, matured, and let it go. Even when the goddess inside you told you these peasants didn’t deserve your light, your friendship, your greatness. I’m proud of you.

I’m just proud of me for not snapping when I had every right to; not everything deserves a reaction.

6) Three negative things you want to leave for 2018.

*Comparisons 

Oh boy. I am extremely guilty for this: I’ll compare myself to a well-known illustrator my age. I’ll compare myself to friends who are in the field having a blast and getting work; I’ll compare myself to friends who aren’t in the field and they struggle at getting work. I’ll compare myself to the kid I graduated high school with who is traveling the world, is able to eat, come home to his dog and relax because he doesn’t have tuition to pay. I’ll compare myself to these goddamn baby boomers who keep repeating “We didn’t have it hard, you’re just being stupid. Millennials aka our children deserve to starve. We’ll just put our faith in our grandchildren because screw the kids we raised and refuse to pay accordingly. $7 an hour worked in my day, they need to make it work now.” I’ll compare myself to fake people I created in my head and purposely made scenarios and wonder why I’m not like them, said creations I made because I was pretty low for ten minutes...

I just compare myself too much. To any damn body. It’s draining, obnoxious and most of all pointless. My new motto for next year is: “Unless it is helping you grow yourself, your brand, your spirituality, don’t do it.”

I’m not comparing my chapter two to someone’s chapter thirty-five. I’m not even comparing my chapter two to someone else’s chapter two. I need to stop doing that PERIOD! My journey is different, unique, and worth seeing through.

**Listening to negative others.

A couple of years ago, I lost a close friend around the time my aunt passed away. During this time I was hypersensitive to any and everything done or said; I also kept many walls up to hide my mourning. He caught the crossfire of all of that. I kept secrets from him I was too prideful of admitting and lashed out because of the emotional turmoil I kept suppressed. While in the midst of packing his things and leaving my life, he mentioned that I was a failure because I was unemployed and artistically speaking I hadn’t accomplished anything; that I would remain that way because that’s just the person I deserved to be. Now mind you, I graduated college that year; he was a flunk out. I changed my art style dramatically compared to when I started school to pass; he thought just posting crappy pictures of lukewarm sketches were equivalent. I started attempting trends and all he could do was copy. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t to bash my old friend. If he were to come back into my life and move on like nothing had happened I’d do the same. (With some limitations.)

It’s just while typing out this scenario, of our four-year friendship I can’t think of one nice thing/compliment/gesture he has said to me. That’s my problem.

I can be praised, admired, and look highly upon for years straight. But my problem is I let others negative thinking and comments marinate with me for a long while. Too long of a while.

Another example is my mother’s friend. (My mom has many friends that do this shit, but this one stung more.) 

This friend always roots for me; treats me like a person, and encourages my artistic journey. I consider her family before my actual relatives. 

We went over for some barbeque the family was having and I was ready. Black Hallmark Cookouts, laughing, good food, good music, shit talking others teams. She asked me a harmless question of when was I going to quit my day job. Seemed like nothing at first, until the added gest of what she continued with. “All I’m saying is you can’t do [your day job] forever. That will get old. If the art thing doesn’t work out next year what’s plan b?”

I’m not a calm person (usually). Normal Caitlin would have cursed her out and mentioned how just because she chose a job to settle and be miserable at for most of her life doesn’t mean I have to follow suit. But again, of all the nice encouraging things she has done, said, and showed, for a while, I couldn’t think of it. 

So I pray I let go of this nasty behavior in 2018; it’s going to be hard but it is dire.

***Saying I’m Not Enough

Alright, now put the combination of the two above in a bowl and what do you get? A Caitlin who struggles in interviews and applying for jobs because I let comparisons and negative comments rule my thoughts. This stopped me from applying to jobs I would have been perfect for; internships that could have helped me; posting art online.

We (including me) have to stop thinking that in order to be an illustrator means we have to pass a certain threshold of struggle, success, and a huge number of followers. That isn’t the job description. NO JOB DESCRIPTION has ”must have at least 10K followers on Instagram or Twitter.” nOnE. 

So we (including me) need to stop treating ourselves this way. Period.

7) Three things you’re looking forward to in 2019.

*Going to move conventions.

**Adding pieces to my portfolio to try again at job hunting.

***Becoming content with the fact that my current situation isn’t my permanent situation. Unless I laze around and make it so.

Alright, so this was basically me calling myself out on my noise. Lashing out my demons and putting it in writing what I want to accomplish. I hope this inspires you to write yours, even if you keep it private. I hope it guides you and maintains your vision.

I’ll see you in 2019

A new wave

Caitlin xx

#pensurfing #new years #new years resolution