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velvetcloxds · 1 year

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Ohh ohh I’ve literally wanted to read some sweet tired cuddles with Aaron Hotchner! Like something where you’re both so tired that your conversation isn’t really making sense, but you’re forcing yourself to be awake to enjoy the cuddles

SELFISH | A.H.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: idk how but somehow I missed the cuddles part because I got too excited but I'd be happy to redo it with the cuddles I'm so sorry sdcs

Aaron was tired, exhausted, to be frank, with the whole team around him already asleep, he was confused why he couldn't convince his mind to rest, to give in. With his head laid back against the jet, he watched the ceiling, counting the lights, sighing in frustration, and once again when his phone vibrated on the table daring to disturb his already fleeting peace, that was until he saw your name pop up on the screen and it was shameful how quickly in prompted a smile.

"Hi, bear," you breathed as soon as he picked up, your voice was sleepy, quiet, yet laced with the same level of excitement it usually held when you spoke to him, and his heart soared.

"Hi, honey," his voice mimicked yours, although you were sure it had a completely different reaction than it did for him, a shiver running down your spine. He checked his watch, a brow furrowing when he saw the time. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" it was a familiar reprimand, one he'd give you a thousand times over but you could hardly be blamed for your own insomnia. "Is everything okay?"

You were at his place, habitually stopping by Jack's room to check on him after walking down to grab a glass of water, you paused at his door, smiling as he clutched a stuffed animal- yours, actually, he'd stolen it a few months after you'd moved in but you weren't all that bothered by the crime.

"We're fine, I just can't sleep," you were whispering, he knew why, another smile finding his lips at the thought, he could picture it so clearly. "That bed is awfully big without you," you yawned, padding back to the very bed you were dreading to be in, the covers a right mess from all the twisting and turning you'd been doing while trying to fall asleep.

"I'm sorry," and he was, terribly so, you were always eager to cuddle, a sort of fiend for it, much more since you began living together so he could only imagine how unhappy a big lonely bed made you feel. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm having terrible luck trying to sleep without you too."

"I can tell, can hear it in your voice," you pulled his pillow against you, breathing in his scent, letting it surround you, careful with the phone still against your ear. "And it doesn't help, at all," he scoffed, it was a soft sound and you wouldn't know but he could feel himself growing even more tired as if the very sound of your voice was lulling him to sleep, and now, despite himself, he had to will himself to stay awake.

"You can hear it, huh?" he was teasing, sinking back even further against the seat, looking over to find the blanket you'd insisted he take along on every trip, just in case.

"I can," you nuzzled further into his pillow, balling up around it, looking out at the window through the curtain which you'd left open despite his constant reminder not to. "Your voice gets so low, it's always low, but when you're tired it's slow too like you're taking a little breath between each word- and your lips drag a little, can't hear that but I know it's happening."

"Smart girl,” he breathed and then he heard it, your little profile of him being far too on point. He pulled the blanket onto his lap, hesitantly, but he then realized why you were so persistent to have him take it, you'd sprayed it with your perfume, very generously, not enough to overwhelm him but just enough to trick his mind into thinking you were there next to him. Not next to him, no, if you were with him you'd have already maneuvered yourself onto his lap, as impossible as the act might seem with the little space provided, you'd find a way.

"You still there?" you were whispering again, for his benefit this time, though you'd very selfishly prefer that he stay up talking you to sleep, you knew he needed the rest probably more than you did but just maybe he needed to hear your voice more- you definitely needed his.

"Always," he didn't sound very convincing, but you grasped at the reply, smiling into his pillowcase as you checked the time on the clock next to his bed. "Did you have dinner?" silly question, of course, you did, Jack needed to eat so you would too, he checked anyway.

"We did," he was right. "We had some pasta concoction Jack helped me make- I saved you a plate, didn't even realize until I put it into the microwave."

"Oh, you did? Did I get a note too?"

"Obviously," you giggled, maybe you hadn't realized how hopelessly you'd been missing him until the little admission. "We miss you, you know," you informed him and his heart soared again, we miss you, his people, his family, it was enough to make an overtired man wish he could make time fly faster just so he could get to you sooner. "Oh, I bought you a shirt," you backpedaled, shy at the comment, very lovesick of you to tell him that in the middle of the night, sickeningly sweet- he lived for it. "Maroon, think it'll look very handsome, very dreamy," you were digging your grave deeper, his little laugh made it worth it.

"I'm not usually handsome, am I?" another stupid question, you scoffed at him. "Was that a scoff?"

"A small one. You know you're very handsome, always," you were getting drowsy, wiping at your eyes, begging them to not betray you now, you had more to say, you hoped he had too. "Don't let me fall asleep," you begged him.

"You should fall asleep, it's late," hypocrite, he couldn't lie to himself, he wanted you to stay awake too, talking with you was comfort, a guilty pleasure, he'd never get enough, always greedy. "You'll be tired tomorrow if you don't."

"It'll be worth it," you quipped and he couldn't agree more. "Did I tell you that I miss you?"

"You did. I miss you too," a second passed, and you yawned, it somehow broke through the phone to him, he brought his hand up to hide it, smiling as Spencer rolled over in his sleep, nearly falling off the couch. "Why maroon?"

"It'll make your eyes pop and it'll make it impossible not to stare at you," you knew what he'd say, thought you'd beat him to it. "I always do that anyway."

"I haven't noticed," he definitely did, his smile gave him away, you could hear it, knew it well enough to picture it. "Bet it'll look good on you too," he conjured the idea, he was very right.

"You think?" your cheeks burned, very rude of him to be charming you all the way from another city, over the phone no less. "Because it's maroon?'

"Because it's you," you giggled again, he was drowning in the sound, and he subtly brought the blanket higher, breathing you in, heaven, he thought. "We're talking in circles," he informed you, but you knew, couldn't care less because at least you were talking.

"I don't care," you paused, another yawn and you could tell you weren't going to be able to keep up this fight for much longer. "I love you- in case I fall asleep, I wanted to tell you."

"I love you too," he decided to be selfish, he'd make up for it tomorrow. "But I'm not going to let you fall asleep."

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x yn #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fic #monique's writing events #right where queue left me

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getitinbusan · 4 years

Text

Jaebeom-

Only Love

Part 5 : Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Y/N doesn't want a relationship, especially not with an idol. Jaebeom only wants her.

Love after heartbreak and all the things that fall in between.

Angst, Cheating, Fluff, Smut

A new series inspired by lyrics, each chapter has a specific song that goes with it.

Series Masterlist

Only love can hurt like this - Paloma faith

I tell myself you don't mean a thing

And what we got got no hold on me

But when you're not there I just crumble

I tell myself I don't care that much

But I feel like I die 'till I feel your touch

So much for not getting attached. Unlocking the door you collapsed crying, the exhaustion of life had finally beaten you into submission.

The shrill ring of the store's landline broke through the quiet of the courtyard, a reminder of his persistence. He wasn't going to give up so you had no other choice but to cut him off.

_____________

Barely having slept, coffee in hand, you made your way over the wooden path to the store.

The indication light was flashing in a rhythm that brought back the sound of his heartbeat in your ear.

You have one unheard message…

Y/N, I know that you were happy last night, don't walk away from this...from me. Do you remember the day I first came into your shop? You asked me how I intended to fix you? I didn't know then, I was just grasping for a shot...but...I know now..I'm just going to love you. All you have to do is let me...can't you just let me?"

Reaching out you hit delete and tried to convince yourself it was for the best.

____________

Watching from your office he'd come in everyday for a week. The staff, as instructed, told him you weren't there but several times he'd caught you looking at him through the window.

He looked hopeful but you were sure he'd get over it, you'd get over it.

There was a light knock on your door before the handle turned.

"Hey, sorry Y/N, he insisted on leaving this for you." She placed the book on your desk and left.

Running your hands over the cover you could tell it was well loved.

Its condition would normally drive you nuts but it was his, and in his passionate demeanor he'd most likely tackled it head first, cautionless, as was his way.

You were unfamiliar with it, Tablo's "Pieces of You." Flipping through the marked up pages you found a bookmark, a hand drawn blue tree with flower petal leaves pointing to what he wanted you to see.

"So here I am,

Choosing to kick away the ladder

So that I may remain at your side.

I understand your solitude

I see your shadow."

His phone number was scribbled on the inside cover with the inscription. "When you're ready, whether it's tomorrow or two years from now."

___________

The worn book sat on your desk catching your eye every so often. He hadn't been in for a few days, had he given up? Why did it hurt to think maybe you'd never see him again?

"Fuck," you opened the cover And picked up your phone.

Y/N: I miss you and I don't want to do that anymore.

JB: You don't have to, just let me in.

Y/N: I need some time.

JB: I'm just….Y/N...don't shut me out okay?

He left you space as requested ....sort of.

Every night you got notifications of his v lives. He talked to you indirectly through the camera, speaking about the books he'd read while sending secret messages through his song choices playing in the background.

He looked happy and he never wavered when your name was brought up by the fans. He stood up for you, called you a friend and told people they shouldn't say such horrible things.

Slowly he was breaking your resolve, you were healing.

📖 Lady: I really enjoyed Pieces of You.

He smiled knowing you were online. He queued up his next track, it was Junny's By my side and he sang...

stay right by my side

And let me teach you how to love

With you I just can't get enough, oh girl

He closed his eyes and hummed in contentment.

Your phone notification broke the trance Jaebeom's sweet melody had lulled you into.

Yoongi: Can we meet, I think we should talk.

Y/N: I don't fucking think so.

Yoongi: it's about Jaebeom.

___________

You got to the coffee shop early and were surprised he was already there, punctuality was never his strong suit.

He stood to greet you. Thinking better of the hug he was going for, he gestured to the chair.

"I want to say I'm sorry"...he stammered over his words.

"I know it means nothing and you hate me but...I am...sorry."

Your order was already on the table.

"Can we just cut the shit. Why exactly do you want to talk to me about Jaebeom?"

He ran his hand up the back of his neck, "I keep getting messages from the fans about you two."

"You know what Yoongi, I'm tired of your fucking fans. They've sent me hundreds of death threats, they write rude comments on my business page and now that someone actually likes me again they keep telling him that I'm a piece of shit."

You spit the feelings that had been trapped inside you out at him.

"You know you could have told them to stop, but you didn't."

He looked at you puzzled and pulled up his weverse page.

"You think it's only you?"

He scrolled through reading you select comments.

"I've lost all respect for you Yoongi… I can't believe you're a cheater. Here, this one's great….Y/N deserves better, I'm happy she's with JB now…"

You were shocked, not once had you seen or received messages that were team Y/N.

"Well you fucking deserve it."

He shrugged, "Jaebeom, he's a decent guy…Jungkook's been talking to Yugyeom and word is you're not giving him a chance because of what happened."

He wouldn't look up from his Americano.

"Don't let me fuck up your life any more than I already have okay, I'm not worth it."

You sighed, reaching across the table to touch his arm.

"I appreciate that you'd come here to tell me that."

He picked up your hand and held it tightly in his.

"I'm sorry I did this to you. Let him be the man I couldn't."

Standing to leave he kissed your cheek, grabbed his coffee and walked away.

------------------------

Sitting in your office there was a soft knock at the door, "Hey, sorry, I just...did you," she approached apprehensively with a cup of tea, "have you seen the dispatch page?"

It didn't take long, the photos, the headlines, the comments…

Yoongi and Y/N are back together! Seen today, the couple were holding hands and kissing over coffee. Was she just using Lim Jaebeom?

You felt the wind knocked out of your lungs, of course this would happen.

Had Jaebeom seen? What would he think? As you sat panicking he sent a text.

JB: Just can't manage to stay out of trouble, huh? I'm beginning to think you tip off your own location to Dispatch to grab the headline.

You threw your phone into the drawer and slammed it shut.

He waited, no answer, shit... he'd shoved his foot in his mouth again.

Why did he turn into a completely inarticulate unfunny idiot when it came to you?

JB: Y/N I'm sorry that was supposed to be a joke…

____________

You looked at your assistant, "I think I really fucked up, you want to go out and get completely loaded tonight?"

She smiled agreeing, "I'll start closing, you go put on something sexy."

You stood to leave, "May as well, If I'm going to get accused of stupid shit I might as well make it worthwhile."

___________

The drinks flowed freely and you just didn't give a fuck anymore, about anything. If they were all watching, you didn't care. You danced, you sang, you laughed, you needed no one. Until he was in front of you.

"Shit, let's go", you grabbed your friends hand but she smiled devilishly at you.

"I called him, its time to get the fuck over it Y/N. You'll thank me later," She waved him in and walked away.

Zeroing in on you, he made his way over. Ready on the defensive you expected him to be angry.

In your best effort to save face you'd cut him off before he could you.

"If you want to be mad at me go ahead, but I fucking warned you this would happen."

You were pointing at his chest, trying to drive your point home.

"So if you're here to tell me you don't want anything to do with me, you go right ahead Lim Jaebeom."

"Are you done?" He raised his voice.

"You are the most stubborn girl I've ever met Y/N. I've gone to bat for you for the last month, I never gave up. AND! despite how hard you've pushed me away I've never left. Do you think I'd actually walk away because of a dispatch article?"

You both stared in a deadlocked gaze. Time standing still until he wrapped his arms around your waist. You could feel a million eyes on you all at once.

"Take me home Jaebeom."

He grinned and kissed your forehead, "I thought you'd never ask."

Part 6 : Nervous

#jaebeom #got 7 jaebeom #jayb #im jaebum #got7 jaebum #lim Jaebeom #got 7

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