#you wanna know who helped me? the pp staff who not only helped me find out i am NOT pregnant

[sybbi]

As someone who had a recent pregnancy scare, I want to wholeheartedly tell the people who stand in front of Planned Parenthoods that they are NOT, in fact, helping women, and that they ARE, in fact, in dire need of a constructive hobby.

#you wanna know who helped me? the pp staff who not only helped me find out i am NOT pregnant #(cue Maury style celebration) #but also helped me sign up for a program that makes my birth control and things like paps free for a year #so i hopefully wont have another such scare! #bc im currently unemployed while trying to get a state license so i can start working #and ya know!! that great setup where health care is tied to employment really facilitates unwanted pregnancies!! #like once again how can you be against social programs and general reforms that would make more ppl probably choose parenthood #when you claim to be anti abortion? #anyway this has been a rant

[empressofthesunwriter]

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 4: Quests, quests everywhere!

I regret telling Leo to explore the town.

Somehow we get robbed into doing a lot of shit for a lot of people.

I don’t know why I can’t seem to just say no, but Leo means doing these “Quests” for the people of South Park will help in our RPG.

Well, it’s true if I finish a quest for someone I get a new Facebook friend, which in turn, if I have a certain amount, I can get a new Power Up like my PP gets higher and sometimes a new weapon, but I also can just speak to people and get so a Facebook friend.

Like it goes mostly in my life.

Never know and probably I will never know how I manage that. It was always like this. I collected followers like some people collect Steves for their evil plans.

Anyway will doing this shit tone of quests a meet a lot of…well interesting people.

That guy who hides behind a tree at the cinema is Al Gore, an ex-vice president of the United States, who likes to say cereal and is obsessed with something called ManBearPig.

I honestly only help him put this sensor around town because I wanna know what this ManBearPig is.

Never heard of it.

And I heard a lot of crazy shit while moving from state to state, city to city.

Then we meet at the playground some cute kindergarten kids who wanna play hide and seek with me. So we also have to look for them while running around town doing this and that.

Funny is no one here has their front doors locked. You can just walk in and rob….erm I mean borrow their stuff.

Maybe I should have picked thief since I have way too much fun exploring any house and grabbing what can help us in our LARPing. Good thing Leo doesn’t seem to mind.

I should be better than this but nah. I’m enjoying myself way too much.

Next up, after finding the first kindergarten child, we enter the house of a gay man in a leather outfit and I kid you not his name is Mister Slave.

I’m getting a feeling South Park is full of awful puns and references of that kind.

Mister Slave asks me to pick up a package for him at the Post, so Leo and I make our way there.

The street where the Post is locked is full of shops. Leo referred to it as the marketplace.

It’s kind of funny when we enter the bank and then the post that Leo goes all robber/kidnapper and then greets the people friendly.

I don’t know why he does that, but I won’t stop him.

After we pick up Mister Slaves’ package, which is surely not a Dildo, what drugs are you on, I decide we finished exploring, putting the sensors up, and finding the other kindergarten kids before we return to Mister Slave.

We have found a kindergarten child in the bank and one down in the sewers. I’m still impressed with myself that I had the stomach to go down there.

When we reach City Hall I see something which instantly makes me angry.

Three bitches my age are bullying a little blond fourth-grade girl.

They throw at each other the little girls Justin Bieber toy, taunting her.

“Give it back! Give it back!”, pleads the little girl.

Bitch with the red cap just snarks: “Why don't you make us?”

“That's MY Justin Bieber toy!”

“Not anymore, it's not!”, says Bitch in a grey hoodie.

I had wordless Leo my staff and literally fly myself over the three bitches. Bitch with a cap gets a fist slammed in her face, Bitch in a grey hoodie I kick in the stomach, and the fat bitch I slap her so hard in the face that she falls down.

I take the Justin Bieber toy and kick for good measure each of the bitches in their stomach.

“Leave this girl alone and never ever bully someone or next time I turn you three into Shish Kebab!”, I growl at them.

Scarred and crying they stand up and run away.

Good.

I turn to the little girl.

“Here you go, sweetie.”

I hand her the Justin Bieber doll.

“Oh, I hope they didn't break it.”, she mumbles and pulls the cord of the doll. It’s starting to vibrate…why is my head immediately in the gutter? The girl is 10, she doesn’t surely use it as I think in my perverted mind!

“Oh, whew. Hey, thanks ... I owe you one girl.”

“It’s whatever.”

As a reward, I get a new Facebook friend and learn her name is Annie.

…Blond…

…Short…

…Name Annie…

Sie sind das Essen und wir sind die Jaeger!

Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

I love Attack on Titan, even if the ending was worse than the Game of Thrones one.

After saying goodbye to Annie we meet in City Hall the mayor of the town Ms. McDaniels and she wants me that I beat up homeless people so South Park can appear again as a compassionate community.

Who sees the fault in that logic?

I agree, but I’m not sure I will do this.

I mean if the hobos attack me I will protect myself, but I won’t actively search for them to beat them up.

I’m not that heartless.

Anyway, we meet the then local preacher man of South Park Priest Maxi and he wants me to find Jesus.

I’m confused.

And I tell so Leo as we look around the Police Station.

“Oh well, Jesus lives here, he even has his own TV show.”, explains Leo to me.

I blink as I free Romper Stomper from his prison cell and earn him as a Facebook friend.

“…What?”

“Yeah, he is pretty cool. Maybe he is at his house.”

“You are telling me, my lord and savior, Jesus Christ, who died for humanity’s sins is under as and lives here in South Park?!”

Leo can’t even look that fast as I practically race to the church.

My gut is telling me I will find him there.

When I enter the church I can hear a soft giggle. I follow the sound to one of the benches and there he is.

Jesus Christ.

Alive, in the flesh.

“You found me! Tee hee hee! Next time finding me won't be so easy!”, he tells me.

Before I can talk to him or bow down he disappears!

With an open mouth, I stare at where he stood.

“N.K. are you okay?”

Leo finally reached me and looks at me worried.

I feel tears in my eyes.

“I couldn’t even talk to him…”, I mumbled sadly, walking out of the church.

After a second Leo follows me confused.

We return to Priest Maxi.

“I found him, Father, but I lost him at the same moment.”, I admit sadly.

“Do not despair, for many find Jesus only to lose Him later.”, preaches Priest Maxi. “But the soul that does not abandon its search will surely be rewarded with His company. Remember that.”

Oh well in that case, back to church then.

Again I hear the giggle, just this time Jesus is nowhere hiding by the benches.

It takes Leo and me some time to figure out how we need to switch the lights off and the lamps under the cross have to shine on it. Jesus silhouette appears on the cross and I find him hiding behind the Preacher Desk.

“Well done, my daughter!”, he congratulates me. “I hope you didn't peek! Remember, I will always be at the side of those who have found me. You can call me once per day with this. But I can't help against bosses. They're scary. Come find me again for another.”

He hands me a pretty rosary which I clutch to my chest.

“Thank you, my lord and savior. I will hold this rosary in the highest regards. I just have one question.”, I nearly whisper since I’m so nervous.

“Ask and you shall get your answers, my daughter.”, he encourages me with a soft smile.

“You probably know I’m bi. Our bible is pretty much against LGBTQ+ people. I just wanna know…do you still love me and do I have a chance to get to heaven?”

“My daughter, a lot of people have wondered what my stance on homosexuality is. So I'd like to state once and for all, my true opinion. You see-“

“Well this was certainly a lot of walking.”, sums Leo up as we finally make our way to Kupa Keep.

I nod, while checking all my Facebook followers. All these quests we did earned me a lot of new followers and I could unlock a lot of cool power-ups.

Smiling I remember little adorable Karen, the fair princess sister, who told me to protect her sister, even if she can handle herself.

Also that Kenny texted her that she thinks I’m pretty cute is amazing.

All in all, I’m really satisfied and glad we did all this.

Still, I’m happy we concreted now on the main quest.

As we enter Kupa Keep Leo calls out: “All soldiers reporting for duty, Grand Wizard!”

With a flirty smirk, I walk up to Princess Kenny.

“Your Highness, it’s a gift from the gods been again in your presence.”, I purr.

Princess Kenny gasps and looks me up and down. I can practically feel how she ogles my breasts. A warm shiver goes down my back this reaction is stroking my ego a lot.

I feel so pretty and powerful now.

“You make an amazing Link, noble mage. 10 out of 10.”, she compliments, taking my hand and making me do a twirl. She looks right at my ass. “I can’t stop looking at you.”

I turn my head and wink.

“You can look as much as you want my dear princess.”

Before we can flirt more Lord Fatty steps out of his war tent to check on his army.

With a sign, we both stand in line with the others.

Damn it, it was going so well right now.

“Nice work, Douchebag.”, praises me Cartman.

I do a little bow.

“Leo…erm Butters helped too. It was a team effort. Thank you, my king.”

“Now all my men are here and ready to fight for the - wait a minute, where is Feldspar? Where's my level twelve thief?”

Ups, there was this.

“Erm yes, Craig wasn’t home.”, I explain lamely.

“He's in detention.”, adds Token.

“What?!”

“He flipped off the principal, so he's in detention again.”, tells him Tweek.

“Oh my God...”

King Large Ass seems done with life. Princess Kenny and I side-eye each other and giggle quietly at his despair.

“If they've locked away our thief in detention we have no hope of getting back the Stick of Truth. We have to break him out!”, decides Cartman.

“Agh! No way, man, last time we broke Craig out of detention we ALL got in trouble!”, screams Tweek and pulls at his hair.

“Getting into trouble is a risk that Douchebag is willing to take!-“

“-What the fuck, man!”, I yell in between. “I’m not doing it! I even haven’t started school yet, no way I will risk making a bad impression already!”

Also, my parents would be angry at me if I don’t behave at school and bring a bad report card home.

Lord Cheesypops grips me by the arm and leads me away a bit.

“Douchbag, douchbag, douchbag-“

“-Will you stop calling me that my name is N.K.!-“

“-You are the only one I trust with this mission. But don't worry, I will not let you go unprepared. I am going to teach you how to use magic. Meet me at the training barracks. It's time for you to learn 'Dragonshout.'”

Okay, I’m curious.

“What is Dragonshout?”

“For that to learn you have to agree to bust out Feldspar.”, this evil genius sings-songs.

Dammit, he knows one of my weak points.

Getting cool and new powers.

I sign.

I’m doomed.

“All right.”

“Good boy.”

With that, I follow Cartman to the training barracks.

#southparkfanfiction #southpark #new kid sp #dovahkiin #stick of truth #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1 #douchbag #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #k2 #polyamarous

[theinsanecrayonbox]

ok, who bet it’d take me this long to make a BNHA AU for Superverse lol

in this universe, our already established heroes were all there right; the Power Pals were a thing, and they saved the world from the super villain group The Body of Evil, but both sides had casualties. Crimson Chin was sort of a rookie/apprentice to Super Sam there, and was one of the survivors, and became poster child for heroism because he was young and survived, and blahblahblah. Catman was there too, but he got hurt and sorta retired. but after that, there weren’t *really* any super or villain teams

fast forward to the present, and there are rumors that the Body of Evil are trying to reform, and looking for young recruits as a great evil is resurfacing. so the Chin goes to the school to try to help Catman protect the students from corruption and whatevers; they also suspect that a member of the staff might be an evil plant, but they can’t figure out who (spoilers there is one; Mrs. Sunshine is actually the villainous Doombringer and she is, in fact, pulling a Medusa on them)

but enough about plot, lets talk about the kids! lol

Timmy Turner

Quirk: Luck/Probability Manipulation

Tim’s quirk went unrecognized for a very long time, since it’s very passive in teh way that everything just naturally seems to go his way...even when it seems competely improbable. he’s never wrong when it come sto situations, and he comes out of tough scrapes with ery few, if any, injuries or inconvienaes himself. it was after the loss of his Dad that his ability was really figured out; their home was collateral damage during a super fight, and while his Dad died and his Mom was left in a coma, Tim escaped completely unharmed from the wreckage

Nicole Amsel (Gertrude Summers)

Quirk: Weapon Manifestation-Fire Arms

Cole here entered the school with her own agenda; she knows there’s a traitor in the school, and is trying to find them to get information out of them about where her family was kidnapped to. of course, she doesn’t bother telling anyone what’s going on, so she’s suspected as being a traitor...that and the fact that the new villain that pops up who can manifest blades *coughBabyShreddercough* seems to recognize her and calls her out doesn’t help her case at all.

her quirk works in the way that she can basically pull firearms out of her body at will...of course she has to be in good health to do that, and needs  to know the make of the weapon she wants. she typically sticks to hand guns, but can create larger caliber weapons. this also explains her long coat, cause she just constantly is reaching in and pulling things out lol

Sanjay Dev

Quirk: Sound Projection

Sanjay’s mother is either quirkless or has a very passive quirk, but in the field of quirk studies i guess, so he had no problem getting supplemental training growing up. he also knows how to use tech to his advantage too, seeing as his powers basically let him scream with a sonic projection, but due to his flight glider pack, he’s able to manipulate his powers enough to give himself limited flight.

he also got into the school on recommendation, and was not present for the main big test day, so no one knew who he was the first day of school

Francis James

Quirk: Bovine Physiology

he’s actually older than the rest of his classmates, because he was a homeless street punk, getting in trouble with the law. Catman crossed paths with him and took pitty on him, offering him the chance to attend the school instead of going to jail. Francis took the offer, figuring he’d just ditch it...but turns out going to school counts as his parole pretty much.

he’s another obvious plant for the “who’s the traitor???” plot, but he does not have a connection to the BoE going in...but he is one that they approach later on to join them

Chester McBadbat

Quirk: Matter/Energy Conversion

Chester’s dad (or grandfather, not sure yet) once tried to be a Pro Hero and...yeah...he was branded as “the worst hero of all time”

Chester’s ability allows him to consume any type of matter and his body will convert it into energy, which he burns through to achieve super sonic speeds and the like. this means he’s nearly constantly eating, and if he’s not eating he’s dead asleep because his metabolism is super high.

Molly Wright

Quirk: Power Mimic

the oils in Molly’s hands act as some sort of conductor that will first temporarily paralyze anyone she touches, and secondly give her the instinctual knowledge of their fighting moves and a copy of their quirk powers. this is only on her hands though, so she constantly wears gloves (and if they don’t breathe right will just intensify the potency of the oils in her skin)

she comes to school with the attitude of “i’m here to learn not to make friends or a comic book deal”

Missy Lebowitz

Quirk: Impenetrable Skin

Missy is Luke Cage ok, unbreakable skin, and has built up her own athleticism over the years to be more muscularly toned. she is quite literally the tank, and she’s not ashamed of it

Trixie Tang

Quirk: Glamazon Might (known) and Energy Blasts (unknown)

the Glamazons are actually a group of heroic women, mostly related to one another, and all share a similar power set. the current leader is Harmonia, but she’s getting old and is going to step down and is looking for a successor. Joan Jett was a Glamazon, but she was one of the PP that was lost in the big battle. Shannon is a retired Glamazon, but she does teach at the school, whole Marigold is the most active and publicly noted Glamazon currently.

Trixie here is the youngest Glamazon, and could have just attend school without going through the entrance exams because she had full recommendations, but she still took the exams to prove she was worthy of attending.

she is the biological child of Joan and Sam (Glamazons are known for quirk marriages), but her secondary quirk, which was inherited from her father, hasn’t really become prevalent yet since all the Glamazons basically share a similar enough power set of super strength, speed, and durability

Veronica Star

Quirk: Avian Physiology

Veronica was born with bird wings and feathers, but as she got older she molted and became more human-like in appearance, but her avian features are still very prevalent. she has hollow bones like a bird, and a matching circulatory system to match. she can fly, and doesn’t eat meat.

she really wants to be a Glamazon, so she follows Trixie like a groupie at first

Chloe Carmichael

Quirk: Persuasion (Mind Control)

Chloe’s powers were always thought to be very passive; she was always good at talking to people, and getting them to talk about their problems and work through issues, so she originally applied to be in the support class, figuring her skills woudl be better suited for like social work or something

but Doombringer recognized that her powers weren’t just persuasion, but showed signs of actual mind control, if she was trained properly, so she switched Chloe’s application from the Support pile to the Hero pile

since the Support class was filled up, Chloe settled on doing at least a semester of the Hero course, because it wouldn’t hurt after all if she wound up going into hero-Public relations instead

and as i said, Catman sorta seems to be in charge of the school, while Shannon (Wandergal) is also a teacher, when CC joins the staff. and Doombringer works there too, but as Mrs. Sunshine, because she’s working for the bad guys. Vicky shows up to annoy people at some point, to throw suspicion onto Tootie (because they are still sisters), and Kevin might join up later down the road too as a defector from the evil team

so BNHA AU for Superverse. whooot!

If you enjoy my Superverse, or my art in general, please consider sponsoring me on Patreon for neat bonus content monthly. Or if you just wanna be randomly helpful, consider donating to my comic fund via Ko-fi.

#Fairly Odd Parents #Fairly Oddparents #fop #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #bnha au #superverse #my art #digital art