#you speak every fuckign second you get the chance

[lilgynt]

oh my god. oh my god. so people were asking me how i was doing bc i came in crying in fuckin crutches right? and my coworkers who weren’t sitting next to me hit me up in the group chat and they’re like are you okay and im like explaining my issues and im debating on staying or going to quick care and the fucking coworker i hate is like imma leave early and starts explaining why THEY left when people are asking what the fuck my issue is.

#personal #and i’m not one to defame mental health issues and leaving bc of them #pot meet kettle etc etc #but they’re like yeah i’m just too tired my mental health needs me to leave #i just keep bottling up my feelings to much but i’ll try to get better at my attendance #no one asked. no one asked. #you speak every fuckign second you get the chance #you have adopted having adhd and autism as some of ur only personality traits and only talk in online memes #all while over sharing since day one that you need to get diagnosed with this new insurance we have at this company #and again. pot meet kettle self diagnoses here not judging that #but like. you can’t constantly and i do constantly bring it up and in the same breath say i need a doctor to check me hehe #i do mean constantly #like not even confirm it for your own benefits that’s different #like you can’t be like oh i did that wrong bc of my adhd and tism! and then same breath need to get checked out for adhd tee hee #just every aspect of their personality fucking annoys me #like if anyone else left for mental health? hey i get it feel better #this fucker? hope for the worst actually based on nothing but petty personal reasons

[cassyapper]

Apart from Jotaro and Kakyoin (unfortunately) what are your other favourite jojo ships? I’d love to know

OHHHH POST YOUVE OPENED A CAN OF FUCKING WORMS LET ME GO OFF

i have a disease that makes me invested in the joestars’ happiness to an absurd level so bc of that a lot of ships i enjoy involve,,,one joestar,,,but there r others i swear let me just start rantingi

jonaeriwagon is soooooo so so cute it involves the most wholesome and purehearted jojo characters and it makes me smile so wide. erina and jonathan r childhood sweethearts and erina helped jonathan back on his feet after he lost EVERYTHING in the first fight against dio at the mansion. jonathan and speedwagon are best FRIENDS OKAY!! SPEEDWAGON LITERALLY CHANGES HIS ENTIRE WALK OF LIFE BECAUSE OF JONATHAN AND THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED HIM. i know erina and speedwagon didn't interact a whole lot in part 1 but like they're BEST. FRIENDS. in part 2, so much so joseph thought something was going on between them. i bring this up bc then it’s proof that this ship is full of ppl who just care for each other so much. they just adore each other and love each other and I'm crying

caejoseq is my FAVVV OKAY they're so stupid and in love. i love love love love imagining caesar and suziq falling in love slowly when he’s first training as lisalisa’s student and like they never do anything about it cause they're both so shy (yes caesar is shy bc these feelings r more genuine romance rather than sexual, unlike his other flings) but it’s obvious enough they both understand to a degree the other knows they like them sjkd;dn cuties. but then JOSEPH BARGES IN with his stupid hamon-breathing mask and his stupid blue-green eyes and his stupid lax personality combined with the moments he takes thing seriously during which is works hard as fuck/smart as fuck. he just completely sweeps them off their feet they had no fuckin warning whatsoever. so after a bunch of messy and intense pining from the both of them they eventually sit down and are like okay. we should do smth about feelings actually. so they Do and it ends with the polycule and I'm (”: smiling so wide they loved each other do u understand

AVPOL!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED OKAY it’s the survivor’s guilt and cherishing and longing for me sis!!!!!! I'm just saying both have pasts (araki said avdol’s backstory was so sad he didn't wanna put it into sdc so that’s where I'm drawing this from) that leave them focused on things other than their direct happiness/their own futures but then they connect and even though they're so fucking different they are SOOO different they're still the same on this level and i think!!! that would be everything for them finally someone who understands...listen I'm ging to go insane do you hear me. avdol loves this stupid fucking Frenchman so much because said stupid fucking Frenchman just cares so much about everything. meanwhile polnareff is in love with this fuckin god of a man who’s patient and kind and funny and a skilled enough fighter it’s stated explicitly in canon “oh avdol’s the one we need to worry about most not jotaro” like fuck polnareff is ENAMOURED WITH HIM!! AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM!! and just dude. when pol thinks avdol came back to life and he starts crying tears of joy and hugs him so tightly and avdol just laughs but hugs him back imfmfjfj help. help. help. help. help. POLNAREFF LITERALLY ASKS HIM OUT ON A DATE THIS IS FUCKIN!!! CANON!!! i cant do this stupid fuckign idiots i love them

JOSUYASU!!!!!! TWO GUYS BEIGN DUDES WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? like listen we have such a SLEW of wholesome moments between these two the opening to the tonio episode is literally just them going on a date OKUYASU WAS GONNA FEED JOSUKE AND JOSUKE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING QUESTION IT OKAY THAT’S KINDA GAY THAT HAS ROMANTIC FUCKING UNDERTONES!! and them fighting against shigechi idk man i just love their dynamic it’s such a pleasant bro relationship and i love them. but even beyond the wholesome moments when okuyasu fucking dies josuke loses his SHIT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME HE GOES FUCKIGN INSANE!!!!! HE’S SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEGGING OKUYASU TO WAKE UP AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS LIFE FUCKIGN HAYATO HAD TO SHRIEK AT HIM TO MOVE HIS ASS OUT OF THE WAY OF KIRA’S BOMB LIKE!! listen the recklessness and furiousness of josuke’s tactics after okuyasu “”died”” haunts me. he didn't want to live in a world without him and meanwhile okuyaus LITERALLY TRIUMPHS OVER DEATH BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE JOSUKE’S SIDE HELP ME GIRL FJKF;NDJN FUCK. fuck. so yeah i lvoe them

fugionara... any combination of this ship makes me go nuts okay okay. the dynamics in the bucci gang will forever leave me in tatters but THE ONES BETWEEN THESE THREE IN PARTICULAR. FUCK ME UP. it’s the healing it’s the animosity it’s the regret it’s the trying to figure out your own mentally ill self while also the world ur in with these ppl u love so much and I'm going crazy okay okay okay. idk how to quite put my feelings for them in worlds i just have a lot of them and they are fuckin. overhwelming. just narancia for example meant EVERYTHING to fugo as evidence by purple haze feedback (literally every other paragraph is a flashback) and the only time giorno cries in the anime is when narancia dies. meanwhile fugo saved narancia’s life and giorno knew when to take narancia seriously as opposed to a joke. and then THE WHOLE DISCUSSION ABOUT GRIEF FUGO AND GIORNO HAVE IN PURPLE HAZE FEEDBACK? listen something about these three make me go insane and feral

foolymes like okay. okay. I'm shaking like a dog trying not to go overboard on this justification just listen to me. hermes and jolyne first find someone to trust in prison in each other. jolyne cares abt her enough that she first learns how to use stone free’s string-on-a-telephone ability bc she wanted to watch over hermes. hermes loves nd respects jolyne that after she wakes up from getting a stand shes like “hm. wonder where jolyne is” and goes to find her before all that bullshit happened just hey okay LISTEN TO ME!! and then they get foo they save her it’s just like fucking kakyoin they give her another chance and they show her what relationships are supposed to be like (fulfilling) they enjoy her company and make her laugh and she makes them laugh in return ohmy god EVERYTHING FOO FIGHTERS DID WAS FOR JOLYNE AND HERMES DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! the marilyn mansion debt collector arc. the kiss of love and revenge arc. foo fighter’s death. I'm going to eat rocks in an attempt to stop feeling oh my god JOLYNE DIDNT EVEN BELEIVE FOO FIGHTERS WAS DYING AND THEN SHE GOT HYSTERICAL LIKE “BUT WE CAN JUST REMAKE YOU RIGHT WE HAVE YOUR STAND DISC??” SHE DOESNT WANT HER TO GOOO HELP ME HELP ME. I'm in tatters these three girls loved each other so fucking much they just wanted each other safe and they DESERVED to be safe and happy together but araki is fucking evil

jotaweather I KNOW THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW DONT FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME JUST HEAR ME OUT. jotaro and weather r both of similar demeanor that is quiet soft-speaking intimidating strong big aura of sadness coming from them. both have powerful stands and both had real fucked up luck in the love department. i also hc both to be autistic so that’d be another similarity. i jus think them settling down together after everything went down in a stone ocean au would be very soft and sweet yknow? they wouldn't even necessarily start it off in a romantic sense but they just take the time to try and heal with each other and eventually it just kinda veers that way. yeah

gyjo for OBVIOUS reasons like are you serious? gyro changed johnny’s fucking lfie from the SECOND they first interact johnny begins to push himself and tries to reach further/go further. and in turn johnny shows gyro you cant always be a wet blanket you need to take a stand this both helps his resolve to save the kid AND helps him to take the measures necessary to get to his goal. like gyro would not have been able to find johnny in the “who shot johnny joestar?” arc if he hadn't gone through, say, the ring roadagain arc with johnny first. listen man their relationship is literally the catalyst for this whole part it’s the driving force i just. they love each other they love each other thank you goodnight I'm emo

yasugap is just so so so so sweet it makes me so happy,,like okay josuk8 literally has a daydream where all that happens is he gives yasuho some candy and she eats it and is like “aw josuke this is so good thanks!” and she smiles at him and that’s IT THAT’S THE DAYDREAM 😭 listen they just love each other so much and i am emo. they literally SAVED EACH OTHER OKAY LIKE yasuho pulls him from the dirt and like she mentioned during the flashback chapter with the hairpin and her dad, it was also the other way around....saving josuke also saved herself and just LISTEN TO ME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. it’s a very sweet and healthy relationship and i hope to god araki makes it canon please sir ill bite you

anyway yeah these are the main main ones ? that i ship ship. like you'll get me excited if u mention them. anyway this post has gone on long enough so I'm gonna end it here by saying i really do have a thing where the relationship focuses on healing/helping one or both parties to save/improve themselves

#THIS IS SO MESSY IM SORRY I DIDNT PROOFREAD ANYTHING #uhm but yeah these guys. drive me nuts! #jjba #jojo spoilers #nothing too heavy but just in case #cass cries #iwannagrill

[derpcakes]

So we watched (nay, Experienced) the BBC/Netflix Dracula series

Brought to us by everyone’s favourite team, Steve Moff and Mark Gatiss, promising to be an innovative and exciting new vision of the classic novel

Boy it was definitely something!!!

First I will say: obviously Moff is not my favourite TV writer and my fam and I did go into this with a bias. I’m happy to report, though, that it’s going to be one of these shows that haunts me forever, because if it had just been bad I could have said “bleh” and deleted it from my brain. But because parts of this were genuinely cool, interesting, and fun, and parts of it genuinely had potential, all the bits that were bad stand out as so much worse and the whole thing feels as cursed as a 500 year old undead count. 

Things that were enjoyable and well put-together:

Van Helsing has been gender-swapped into a vampire-hunting nun and her cat-and-mouse game with Dracula is rife with belligerent sexual tension. I was ready to hate this, and ready for like, Sherlock and Irene Adler 2.0, but their dynamic was actually pretty fun to watch! Their power balance is kept even throughout most of the show, and Helsing is never struck down because of ~womanly failings~ or infantilised. She’s consistently really clever and, even if there are some cringey one-liners, I found her and Draccy’s playful quest to murder each other one of the most fun parts of the show. It could’ve been better, but it was enjoyable! (I also like how Helsing isn’t Young and Hot, but is a capable older lady, and her actor and Draccy’s even seem about the same age. Amazing)

The second episode is a spooky murder mystery/horror mini-movie on a ship, with a cast full of interesting characters who all had different things going on and different relationship dynamics that were compelling to watch. There’s even an interracial gay couple! And they’re like, written pretty sympathetically and to be layered and flawed in ways that didn’t feel too stereotypical! And they don’t die first!! Wack! I understand the bar is on the ground, but it’s still worth a mention

Some fun with vampire lore: Draccy absorbs knowledge and traits from people he drinks blood from (which is how he learns languages. Get Duolingo, dude, stop eating people), leading to the intriguing suggestion that myths like “vampires will die in sunlight” and “vampires are afraid of holy symbols” have kinda become real to him even if they don’t literally work, because he’s swallowed so many people to whom these superstitions and beliefs were law. I’m sure this isn’t the first time this has been done, but groundbreaking or no it was kinda neat

Things that were not enjoyable and well put-together:

EVERYTHING ELSE

Episode 1: a weird speedrun of most of the original novel, feat. weaponised nuns and a weird fixation on whether or not Jonathan Harker and Draccy boned. They did not. Dracula pops out of the body of a wolf and he’s Whole Ass Naked. Him and Van Helsing have a power play where she stands just on the threshold of a convent and calls him a little bitch, knowing he can’t come and get her. A knife is licked. 

Episode 2: aforementioned cool ship horror story. Definitely the best ep. It really makes me think about hbomb’s critique that Moff is pretty good at doing standalone stories (and pilots), but when things are tied into a bigger narrative things get zonkers. 

Episode 3: Things Get Zonkers!!

Let me just. Okay. I have the most to say about this one because this is where things really got batshit. And yet, also really boring? How does that figure? Anyway:

Dracula emerges from under the sea and finds that 123 years have passed and he’s now the star of a Modern AU. Upon setting foot on British sand he is immediately accosted by what appears to be an anti-vampire task force. There’s a helicopter. It is later explained how they knew to pounce on him at this exact moment, but holy god it was wild to watch the entire British Secret Service descend on this one wet bastard in a suit

The editing shifts aggressively in the direction of Sherlock. Mark Gattis is there playing an amazingly annoying character. There’s a fuckign.... Underground Secret Society devoted to studying vampires and they put Drac in a Designated Glass Prison for Smug Geniuses (also as seen in Sherlock). Van Helsing is dead but her great-great-grand-niece is played by the same actress and. Okay. Van Helsing, vampire hunting nun, possesses her descendent and rises through the ether to roast Drac one last time, and he’s DELIGHTED TO SEE HER AGAIN. 

And she has cancer, right, so her blood is poisonous when Draccy tries to bite her, but in the end, right, the end of the episode, right, the final shots of the show, he comes to a place where he’s willing to die, and she’s already dying, and so he drinks her blood and they die together on a table while cinematic metaphor vision shows them having sex in the middle of the sun

There was a badly CGI-ed vampire baby. Jonathan Harker falls from a tower and a scene later they flash back to this event by reversing the footage of him falling down, meaning we just see him go VWOOP up through the air, bouncing off the wall on the way. Van Helsing says the words “come boy, suckle” when she’s goading Drac into drinking her blood. The show sits in a weird middle ground where the characters talk about sex a lot (”dID yOu HaVe sExUaL iNterCOURSE with COUNT DRACULA?”) and Drac is clearly meant to be super magnetic and sexy but the characterisation and cinematography is not horny at all. People have these sexy-type dreams of their lover of choice when Drac is drinking their blood but even those are very boring and weirdly chaste, except of course for the final one where, if I  can take the chance to remind you, Van Helsing and Dracula have symbolic Mind Palace sex inside the centre of the solar system

I can’t speak too much on its quality as an adaptation since I actually haven’t read the book, but splitting the story so that some characters (the Harkers, Van Helsing) existed in the time the story is set, and some (Lucy, Dr Seward) exist in The Modern AU felt very strange. Was there any reason to set the third episode in modern times, apart from the fact that I guess they wanted to do their Sherlock thing again? Or, perhaps, because they wanted to do their Jekyll thing again?? Oh my god, that’s what the editing reminds me of - the small clips of Jekyll I’ve seen. The zooming. The slow-mo. The emphasis on The Monster Man’s weird goddamn teeth

(Also, I don’t really feel qualified to dig too deep into it, but I will say there felt something a bit uncomfortable about Lucy being black in this version, while also being written to be very promiscuous and vain. idk. Also, since it happened in an ep of Sherlock as well, “weedy white Nice Boy rescues the Very Cool woman of colour he has a tragically unrequited crush on” is now an official Moffattis trope)

Count Moffatula is an experience. Its pacing is buck wild. The speeding through the original plot and the mish-mashing of elements in the Modern AU section feels like another expression of contempt for the source material on Moff’s part. Someone says “reality is overrated” in a show set in the 1890s. Draccy quotes a Beatles song. He also makes quippy allusions to having eaten various famous figures and basically winks at the camera every time. Granted, this wasn’t as obnoxious as I was maybe expecting, but there are still too many lines of dialogue where you think “oh, the writers high-fived each other after they wrote that one, huh”. The fact that Moff has such vitriol against fan fic writers is more and more grating every day because this is so, so clearly a zany-ass fanfic that he happens to be getting paid for. The costumes are nowhere near as nice as they could have been, and Dracula’s cape looks like his mum made it for him for the school play in which he is playing Dracula. 

This show is So Much. Watch it to share in this fever dream. Or don’t, and save approximately 5 hours of your life. God. 5 hours. Who was I before Count Maffatula. Who am I now. Why was his cape so bloody ugly. Why did they bone in the centre of the sun

#i'm ascending from my body #count moffatula

[lairofsentinel]

I’ve finished this terrible game called Greed_fall. Really...

Spoilers ahead, and really a big amount of “negativity” [aka criticism] about this game.

I can’t believe it’s the same company that did The Technomancer. I mean, sure, no game is perfect. But, to begin with, this one is sold as RPG when you have no fucking way to decide if you want to massacre natives or colonialists, or like, for example, spit and punch the man who never told you that you were a kidnapped child of natives that European colonialists took and raised as their own.  That’s a terrible wound in History. It even had contemporaneous versions not long ago [for example, the Condor plan], and this game did not even give you the option to punch the man or simply not forgive him?. Because without being able to choose anything, your char not only is not angry with that fucker, but they THANK him for telling them the truth 25 years later. Ah. But the man “loved your mother”. A fucking asshole kept the identity of a native child for 25 years simply because... he loved her. Ugh. 

I'll try to be short, and concise. I truly don't want to waste more time in this fucked up game:

The Natives:

The first ones you meet during the first 10 hours are basically depicted as childish creatures that know nothing, and they need of the colonialists to “learn”. Somehow, that was getting a bit more complex along the game, and you see few tribes that are angry at the ravishing of their lands. But still yet, they are depicted as “too aggressive” most of the time. As if they had not enough causes to want to attack the colonialists.

Suddenly, by the second half of the game, the natives realise they have power and knowledge by their own which is even more valuable that all the bullshit that Europeans bring. So, they have this stupid revelation that they know a lot that colonialists don't. You feel the natives so vague and lack of self sense.

Some other natives seems to me like CEOs, that suddenly, are too worried about market and commerce with the colonialists. Like... seriously?. Capitalist Natives just right there, after 15 years of colonialism fucking their lands?? Meh.

As a personal opinion, I hate the repetition of the concept of natives as “tribes” that live in a “small rudimentary village”, in comparison with the complexity that “European architecture/society” shows. Like... they only keep using the concept of the most nomad natives, they don't fucking show a complex society with science and art development beyond the European, when you have a super close example with the Aztec Imperium. They had advanced and successful surgical interventions of the brain and deep understanding of Astronomy while Europe was dying because they didn't want to bath daily and kept burning their astronomers. But ok, that's my personal annoyance toward every game where natives are shown.

European architecture, is the only one.

This comes long the same mood that Spider showed with the natives: “I don't give a fuck”-mood. You have the Bridge Alliance, who are basically the “Muslims” in the old Europe, the ones with true knowledge and “turbans”. I was expecting to see “Muslim” architecture. You know, mosque-like? [I'm not even asking them to have extreme History accuracy, but hell, give me something that make me believe it's true that there are 2 factions here] But no. You see some fences and some random arithmetical design here and there, 3 big carpets in the palace, but the rest of the houses and the palace itself are all European-like. I mean... if you are doing a game which scenery is so elaborated, you can't be lazy about designing 3 types of architecture, since you are basing your fuckign game on Europeans, Muslims, and Natives. Natives have the most rudimentary design because “natives”. They are all about big houses with just a bonfire in the middle. Sure, I know, native groups in the old Europe and Britain used to have that kind of architecture. Celtic-like. I'm complaining because I would like to see, for once in my life, a native culture which is shown as an imperium. But whatever. The Muslim architecture is such a lazy development here.

Petrus:

This is probably the highest point of fuckery. The man [a religious one] “took care” of the main character's mother, a kidnapped pregnant woman, because “she was the only woman he loved” [this game is ALWAYS about the colonialists and their feelings and their problems. European problems= MAIN quest, native problems= side quests]. Her husband was killed trying to rescue her [aka colonialists killed him], and she was sent to the continent, because she was... “marvellous” [this game has the most sickly arguments I've seen in a long while]. She gave birth to the protagonist of the game in one of the Naut's ships. She remained in captivity, and asked Petrus [ the man who was supposed to love her] to kill her, because she could not resist that life. He didn't do it, because “love”. And now, the whole quest is about how guilty Petrus is about that, and about the slight tiny detail of having kept secret that the protagonist's origin is native.

And as if all this was not sufficient, this “RPG” game doesn't allow you to NOT forgive him, to spit him, to do something out of anger. No. The whole quest continues with the protagonist thanking Petrus for “telling him the truth 25 years later”. This is terrible. The problem here is not Petrus being an asshole, is the game giving you no options to have another reaction but thanking him.

Romance:

Yeah, yeah, we have crappy romances. For a game which claimed to be based on DAO, didn't learn a shit about development of chars and their relationship with the protagonist. You have 5 characters that interact very little with the protagonist or among them [banter? What's that?. DOS2 has no banter, but at least you have a lot of personal conversation with the chars, and they intervene in the quests and give their opinions], and the peak of laziness was when I saw the “romantic” scene of all of them. ALL, ALL romantic scene are a copy-paste of the ones in Technomancer. The worst is Vasco/Siora. They are in the place of Andrew, from Technomancer. They did not even change the angle of the camera. I dislike this so much because that scene was meant to be related to Andrew. The man had a prosthetic arm, so that's why the main char looks at his hand, as a gesture of acceptance. In Vasco/Siora's case is so out of sense. Looking at that hand like “did you wash them? I don't want fish/soil in my thingie”.

And again... beyond the stupid romance, the development of relationships is so weak. I would not complain if they were not claiming they based this game in DAO. Lol. You can't even speak about the main quests with them. They have nothing to say. Nothing.

Pace:

This is probably a result of the whole mess of the many irritating things I've been seeing in the game, but it was incredible boring and slow. The dialogues are wrongly done. Every time you meet a new char, the protagonist explains everything. Again. It's not needed. The player already knows that, since you repeated that 53 times!.

The endings And the endings... hell. I can’t even know where to start. Basically... you can destroy the whole natives and the isle included, just because you want to save your cousin—son of an European colonialist, with a lot of daddy issues—. Again, the whole game is highly focused on European pain and feelings. It seems we should feel pity for his useless ass, and understand him when he decided he wants to be a new god, consume the native god, and decide “what’s better for the rest of the world”. Most colonialist ending you can't have.

Thankfully, our fave “RPG” game gives us a loooot of options to end the game: 2. Kill him or join him.

If you kill him, you have four “branches” of endings. In two, you are trying to find “balance” between colonialist and natives, and one ending about natives tired as fuck of the European shit repel the colonialists from their isle and let them fuck off with the Malinchor, since the only thing they can do is drain and consume everything.

Of course, this ending is “bad” too. You can't let the native decide by themselves. That's “bad”.

In fact, to end the game, you need to meddle in native politics. Like, you have to choose who will be High King of the natives. Look at that!. Your parents must be native, but you were raised as another colonist.... who has the power to intervene in native decision. The imbalance of power and fuckery here is... big. And I'm not counting on all the killing and destruction of native “sacred” places you had to do to reach this [the amount of guardians killed without other option to evade them annoyed me as hell, what kind of balance you speak of if you destroy everything at your wake?].

The “better” world ending, is a world of “balance”, in which colonialist and natives “learn from each other”. Which seems more or less ok... but again, colonialists owning their own shit? Never. And again... why our protagonist should speak about balance when they did disasters to reach the end of the game?. 

This is a game where you truly can play and let free your “white saviour complex”, because you can tell me all what you want about the protagonist being a “native”, but they only knows about that by the end of the game... their mind and behaviour and purposes has always been super colonialists, without chances to choose to fuck off Theleme and all the other factions out of rage. This is the most gratuitous plot you get from Spider to “cover” their asses about any critic of “but a colonialist had been deciding over natives all the fucking game”. And you know what, you did. It doesn’t matter if the char has native parents. They are the embodiment of colonialism to the end of the game. 

The only “bad” ending in which Colonialists are repeled, you have to feel sorry, because “bad natives allowed the continent to be decimated by the Malinchor”. Sure, because colonialist presence in the Isle was not like a “Malinchor”?.Ugh. Honestly, super infuriating game. 

But, by far, the ending of the Cousin becoming, alongside with you, “new gods”, destroying the native root.... was so fucked up....but well, at least it's an option. Probably the only relevant option this “RPG” gave us.

I was so sick about all this game, that I just wanted to have an ending of becoming a Naut [after all, the protagonist is a sea-born] and go fuck the old world and these terrible depicted natives. Of course, this “wonderful RPG” never gives you a relevant option like that.

Less troublesome things: “open world” that  only allows paths.

This is something inherited by Technomancer. You waste HOURS running from a point to another because this apparent “open world”, is  just a bunch of mazes/tunnels, and you can't jump or descend by places that look like accessible just because they decided their “RPG open world” has to be a lineal game with a clear path to follow. The teleportation points are not enough, since you always need to run minutes and minutes to reach ones of these. This is of big importance since the game is full of stupid Quests of “go speak with A, bring me their answers. Go back again, etc, etc”. This had been a big criticism in Technomancer. They did not learn about it.

Less troublesome things: combat

Another issue inherited by Technomancer. It's quite common to get stuck in some texture in middle of a big boss, or the dodge has a weird lag, or chars are too slow in general. This exact problem was a big issue during the first encounter of Technomancer, turning it into a nightmare. It keeps being the same more or less.

Honestly, this game has several levels of wrongness in terms of plot [I dont even care about the bugs, about the waste of time running, or the stupid quests of being a silly errand boy, or the combat—though, more often than not it enrages you--. But the plot was a big pain. Like... really... guys, you did Technomancer! Bound by Flame, Of Orc and men, Styx, even Grey Matter [I didn’t play it, but I was told it was interesting and with a lot of progressive stuff]... what the fuck happened here?. Sure, none of all those games are spotless, but at least they felt more RPG than this one!. You could be a bit asshole, a diplomat, or an evil char.  

I think they put all their resources in scenery in Greedfall. Because, yeah, it’s beautiful. Probably the only good thing in this game [even though it has this shit about paths that make you waste a lot of time].

A lot of people also highlight about the presence of poc chars everywhere. I didn’t notice this “everywhere”. You have white natives and black people among the colonialists, true. Which seems a bit ok, but to me it felts as the free pass for Spider to do all the fuckery in the game XD “hey, we all have colonialist mindsets, but hey... black people fucking native ones! no side is right! yay, we are mind-blowing you! XD”. 

Probably I have to mention that one of the few things that are good in the game is Aphra. Because you never see black/brown scholars in games, and she gave me, for few seconds, some relief of all this mess in this game.  However, the way she forces others to teach her... is quite questionable. As I said before, “yay, black people on the colonialist side, they can fuck natives like History white people did! We are progressive! this game is so gray-mind-blowing :D yay”.

Truth be told, not a recommendable game. If you want a more decent RPG compared with this one, of the same company, go get Technomancer.

#greedfall spoilers #greedfall negativity #I wanted to be a Naut and dont give a fuck about all this game #I already put clear tags about the content of the post #if you dont want to read *bad* things about the game... dont read.