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#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?
tokyoteddywolf · 2 months
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22 isn't very much at all, I think.
#5am rambles#anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out#first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay#cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope#i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.
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yawnderu · 3 months
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SIMP — König x Reader
It's a game he's grown used to throughout the months, blaming it purely on muscle memory the moment his muscular frame moves with agility, pulling his debit card out of his wallet and putting it down next to your hand, not daring to touch you or talk to you yet— he doesn't deserve it.
Half-lidded blue eyes watch with a mix of anxiety and excitement as you pick up his card, not sparing him a single glance as the long acrylics he paid for tap against your phone screen, scrolling multiple online stores before you find something you like.
“Come here.” The way he scurries over to you is almost enough to make you feel sorry for him. Almost. König doesn't waste any time on joining you in bed, holding his strong body over yours, his gaze inevitably drifting down to your ass as you present it to him, teasing him in a pair of panties he bought you last time you met.
“That's a good boy.” Even if your tone is sarcastic, König takes in the mocking praise, pride filling his twisted soul. He allows himself to lay some of his weight on you, slowly rubbing his hardening, clothed cock against your ass, thrusting at a pace gentle enough to make you feel more of him, despite the way you choose to ignore his advances.
“Buy anything you want, Meine Königin. My entire paycheck is there...” He closes his eyes, choosing the ignore the pit of anxiety building up inside him at the idea of you leaving him with nothing, calming himself down by planting ghost kisses along your shoulders and bare back, taking in the scent of your expensive shampoo.
Did I buy that for you, or was it another client? Not even the soldiers who have betrayed König's team can compare to how much of an enemy his own brain is. Jealousy is quick to set in, his bare hand drifting down to your hip and squeezing— not hard enough to make you up and leave, but hard enough to remind himself that you're there with him, not with another man.
“Oh?” He climbs through the ranks with more excitement ever since he met you, knowing he'll have more money to win you over with.
“Good boys get rewarded, don't they?” König doesn't even realize when the big, brooding soldier used as a battering ram became so pathetic, vigorously nodding his head to your words.
“You can fuck my panties. Ruin them again and it's coming out of your paycheck.” Your little threat goes in one ear and right out the other. The only thing he focused on was your permission, pale cheeks growing slightly warm and he wastes no time on pulling his needy, thick cock out of his pants, his gaze fixated on the pair of panties hugging your curves.
With a low groan, he slides his throbbing dick between the fabric of your panties, the friction sending shivers down his spine. His rough, calloused fingers dig into your skin as he starts to thrust, his movements rough and possessive.
“Fuck. Keep... keep using my card, Engel.” He manages to mutter between gritted teeth, his voice laced with desire and need. König's needy groans ring around the room, mixing in with your nails tapping your phone screen as you browse a different store, catching his eye.
Lingerie. The fact that your faith in him is so little to the point you know he's going to ruin yet another pair of panties makes him smirk, his hips slamming against your ass with more force. Truth to be told, he doesn't have any faith in himself either.
“I wonder if I should spend it all on the same place.” You think out loud, knowing König well enough to fully realize what he's into. The knowledge that you'll drain his hard-earned money makes his cock throb, feeling his precum staining your panties and skin, the evidence of his desire mingling with the fabric.
“Anything you need— Scheiße. Use it however you want, take it all.” The raw need for approval in his tone and words makes you laugh softly, only fueling his desire for more, his tired eyes closing again as his forehead rests on your warm back, his dick sliding between your plump ass cheeks, letting the warmth wrap around him.
König adjusts his position, his cock throbbing in his hand as he aligns himself with your puckered hole. It's a reward he gets whenever he lets you use his entire paycheck— not deserving of fucking your pussy until he gets another promotion.
With a steady, controlled thrust, he slowly pushes himself into your hole, applying more pressure when he hears your small whimper. A low moan escapes his lips the moment your tight hole gives him, allowing him to feel the tightness and warmth surrounding him, waves of pleasure coursing through his body like lightning.
“Where did you learn how to fuck? It's awful.” König's breath hitches at your degradation, a mix of arousal and vulnerability washing over him. He continues to thrust into your ass, rolling his muscular hips as he tries to prove himself to you.
“I can do better.” He promises in a muffled whisper, biting his lip to stop himself from cumming too soon. With renewed determination, he adjusts his rhythm, finding a pace that has you gripping the sheets, even when you try to act all high and mighty with him. His hips slam against your ass with an increased, newfound intensity, his thrusts becoming more powerful and precise just to please you.
“Too big for your own good.” König lets out a quiet whimper at your words, feeling his cock throb inside your pulsating, tight ass, the familiar knot in his stomach tightening up when he sees you grabbing your phone again, biting your thumb to prevent yourself from moaning as you scroll on a different luxury shop.
$1750.
His eyes widen when he sees the lingerie set that caught your eye, anxiety and desire mixing together while he rams into you faster, making your entire body shake at the sensation of every single nerve being massaged by his veiny, pathetic cock.
König almost knocks the air out of you the moment more of his weight is placed over you, slamming himself into your ass as deep as possible, his balls tightening up as ropes of thick, hot cum shoot into your ass the moment he sees the purchase was completed.
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forsworned · 3 years
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[♥] academyau!substitute teacher {renguko kyojuro x reader}
Genre: Slight Fluff, Comedy
Categories: F/M
Relationships: Kyoujuro Renguko/Reader, Giyuu Tomioka/Reader
word count: 2,538
a/n: this is a pretty long read, so read at your own risk of boredom. i guess it could also b classified as a "x giyuu" but the title is just way too long and kind of throws the main focus off. might turn this into multiple parts so let me know what y'all think! also this is just a filler for the requests i have rn i don't want to leave you guys hanging
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"I literally don't know shit about history."
Giyu sighed in exasperation. "You don't need to know anything about history [first name]. The teacher already has a lesson plan and you literally just need to pass out the papers. I just need you to cover for a couple of a days because one of the teachers are out sick."
You groaned as you threw your head back in annoyance, pushing your feet up against the edge of your desk. Even though it didn't look it Giyu was practically begging you to substitute for one of his coworkers. And he almost never asks for favors.
Giyu ran a hand through his hair. "He's super picky with his subs and everyone he's had come in hasn't come back."
"So you're saying that I'm a good pick." You mused, with your head in your hands with an annoying smug look.
"Don't push it."
You scrunched your face in disgust. "I just really, really don't want to Giyu. Middle school kids are the absolute worst. All they do is make moaning noises and forget or neglect to wear deodarant."
Giyu lightly chuckled. Your eyes darted to watch his usually solemn demeanor melted away into a small smile which immediately disappeared when you caught wind of it.
He cleared his throat and continued to speak like nothing happened.
"Anyway, so you'll do it?"
You rolled your eyes.
"Yeah, whatever. I'll do it."
Giyu looked pleased with himself when he heard your answer.
"I mean after all, I do owe you like a million and one favors." You sarcastically mused.
Which you kind of did. Giyu was your childhood best friend and always kept your out trouble in the nick of time. Whether it was you getting chased down by the neighborhood cat, or when you got gum stuck in your hair and you didn't want your parents to find out so he quickly snipped it out of your hair with everything seemingly in place like nothing happened. Yeah you could say you were a bit of troublemaker growing up, but Giyu was like the older brother that always looked after you.
"I'm so glad you realized." He replied cooly. "Be here by 7:30AM. Don't be late, I already have enough on my plate and I don't need you embarassing me."
You used your hand to shoo him out of your office space. "Mhm, you can leave now."
"I'm serious."
"Yup."
He squinted his eyes at you."[first name]"
"Ok! I got it. I'll be there 7:30 sharp." You exclaimed throwing your arms up in surrender.
He smirked in satisfaction. "Good."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
The morning air was crisp as the sun shone down on your blurred eyes. You absolutely dreaded waking up in the morning and despite that you still agreed to be here. Oh, how you hated that man.
"Good morning." A familiar voice muffled beside you.
Speak of the devil.
He was munching away at his raisin bread walking next to you in the most nonchalant manner. Typical Giyu.
"Shut up." You mumbled miserably.
"You know, you could be a little nicer."
Your eyes narrowed at him. Expression in full death stare mode, but Giyu was as cool as ever, and as always completely unfazed by your behavior. But before you could retaliate, middle and highschool girls were practically lining up to say good morning to Giyu, blushing like mad when he acknowledged them. You on the other hand, were getting the death stares and whispers instead.
"Must be nice to be the heart throb PE teacher." You teased, poking him with your binder.
Giyu ignored you as you walked into the building, showing you to your classroom. You ignored the stares of kids burning holes through your back as you analyzed everything. Tons of inspirational historical quotes lined the walls, pictures and signatures of past and possibly current students covered one single wall. You inspected closely trying to catch a glimpse of who the teacher you were substituting for. One person in particular caught your eye, and he was hot. With a capital H. But before you could look at the other pictures to confirm Giyu called you over.
"Miss [last name], can you come up to the front and introduce yourself."
You sighed as you approached the front of the classroom and watched as the students all stood up. As their whispers got louder, you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes.
"Good morning class. I'm going to be your substitute teacher for the day as Mr.--"You glanced over at the desk and moved the plaque in your direction. "--Renguko is out sick today."
As the class bowed in respect getting their good morning greetings, some of the children could't help but show their disappointment. You noticed most of them girls.
"I'll leave them to you." Giyu stated, and then looked at the class. "And be good to your substitute. I don't want to hear anyone misbehaving."
They bowed as he exited the room and now all eyes were on you. You sighed to yourself.
I really gotta learn to say no sometimes.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
To say you were exhausted was an understatement. It’s not that you hated kids or anything, but they always just see to have so much energy and well, you didn’t. Not even a cup of coffee could save you right now. You watched as the clock above your desk ticked and felt yourself getting more and more sleepier by the moment. Your consciousness fleeting as you lie under your warm blankets.
The image of that fiery haired man popped into your head and your eyes shot open.
You totally forgot to ask Giyu about that hot guy!
You let out a loud groan, knowing that your timing was off because now he would most definitely be suspicious if you asked him tomorrow. The curiosity of knowing that man itched at your skin. You absolutely had to know who he was.
What if he was a high school student, or worse a middle school student who looked very grown.
You outwardly icked at the thought, closing your eyes and scrunching your face in disgusted.
No way. He definitely had to be an adult. Maybe even a teacher.
“The history teacher!” You exclaimed out loud, shooting your whole body up.
It had to be him. You smiled victoriously to yourself, mentally patting yourself in the back.
And you had the perfect plan set up to find out.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You had to have looked in the mirror for about three hours to make sure you looked absolutely stunning. Hair curled to frame your face perfectly, and make up subtle but very much enhancing your natural features. You rubbed your lips one more time in the mirror before smacking your hands to your face to wake yourself up. Giyu was not going to be happy.
The morning bells chimed and you were seated at the desk welcoming students as they walked in. You discreetly checked your make up in your compact mirror under the desk to make sure nothing was running and not a hair was out of place.
“Perfect.” You whispered to yourself, running a hand through your blow out. All this work for a man that probably wasn’t even a teacher here.
“Miss [last name], what are you doing here.”
You froze at the voice. Nothing could prepare you for the icy glare that Giyu shot down at you. It sent a shiver down your spine. But his glare melted right off of you as you glanced over to the man next to him. Your mystery man finally come true!
“Oh hello, Mr. Tomioka. It’s pleasure seeing you.” You smiled, standing up. You looked right over to the handsome man right next to him. His hair like rays of sunlight with eyes to match. You could barely contain your excitement. “And you must be Mr. Renguko.”
His smile as big as the sun. Scratch that. He was the sun.
Bright, beautiful and fiery. He physically made you warmer just being in his very presence. You could’ve sworn you heard simultaneous female sighs in admiration, but you were way too distracted by how utterly gorgeous he was.
“Yes, I am.” He cheerfully stated. “And you must be the substitute that was in for me yesterday.”
He took your hand in his and you could’ve sworn you melted at his touch. Finely calloused hands, indicating that he worked with his hands a lot. Not that his physique couldn’t already tell you how absolutely fit he was.
“Yes, I am. Your class was wonderful. I didn’t have any problems with them whatsoever.” You couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. This really was the man and it took every ounce of you not to pinch yourself to see if you were awake or not.
“So are you going to tell me why exactly you’re here today.” Giyu chimed in. This time his icy glare had no effect.
“Oh yes, I thought I was still scheduled for today. I never heard anything back from Mr.Tomioka so I assumed that I would head back in.” You lied right through your teeth and Giyu could see right through it.
He narrowed his eyes at you. “And I remember emailing you last night confirming that Mr. Renguko was fully recovered and ready to work again.”
You couldn’t see it but Giyu was totally spitting out venom with every single word he spoke. It was almost terrifying, but you were way too distracted by the glow of the man that was the literal sun right beside you.
As if the smile on your face couldn’t get any bigger.
“That’s odd. I don’t remember getting an email.” You innocently put a finger to your lip, and looked upward as if you were searching your head for the memory of the email confirmation that you definitely recall getting.
Giyu’s went from you to Mr.Renguko. And then it finally clicked for him. His shoulder dropped in defeat. He did not have the strength required to dealing with your shenanigans today. He turned around heading out the classroom, raising a hand to dismissively.
“Just don’t burn the place down.”
You gave him two big thumbs up. “You got it!”
"So would you like to observe the class since you're already here?" Mr.Renguko interjected. He motioned to the empty seat right beside his desk and chair.
You beamed at him. "Only if that's okay with your class, of course."
"Oh trust me, they are more than okay with that." He grinned at the students. Most of them smiled and blushed looking away from your direction. You sat there in confusion, but before you could inquire about what he said, he shot out of his seat and grabbed the stack of papers on his desk.
"Alright, class we are going to go over your classwork from yesterday and finish the rest of chapter six."
☆彡
It seemed like forever until Mr.Renguko had settled into his seat while he let his students work together on their classwork.
"I can see why my students are such big fans of you." He mused. You looked up from your phone and saw him warmly grinning at your face. This time you didn't fight the blood rushing to the surface of your cheeks.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well," He pulled out a stack of notecards and began shuffling through them. "I always have my students write their own evaluations of my substitutes and yours were outstanding. Lots of compliments about your appearance and how you carried the class."
Evaluation? Appearance?
Your jaw went slightly aslack at his words. The only thing that left your lips: "Evaluations...?"
His grin grew. Mr.Rengoku knew that this had caught you off guard but he continued. "Yes, I like to know what substitutes are doing their job and keeping my students in line and comfortable."
You were almost speechless. "Wow, you must really care about your students."
He smiled softly this time, and fondly looked over at his students working diligently and quietly together. "Yes, I do. They're kind of like my own kids. I want the very best for them."
Just when you thought you couldn't admire him anymore that you already did. Hot and caring? It had to be too good to be true. You pointed to the best teacher of the year awards on his desk. "I guess you didn't get those just based off your looks alone then."
He visibly blushed and chuckled at you statement as he rubbed the back of his head. "Nah, I don't think so."
You raised an eyebrow at him and pointed at the wall of photos and signatures that lined his wall. "That wall definitely says otherwise."
He laughed a hearty laugh this time. "I don't really think that's the case. Like I said I just look after my students like their my own. They really are my pride and joy."
It really was incredibly hard to not let yourself melt into a puddle in his presence alone. But before you could collect your thoughts, the lunch bell rang and students filed out to their homeroom's and handing in their assignments on their way out. Most of the girls shot you dirty looks before heading out as a way of showing their contempt towards you before the smiled at Mr.Rengoku who was collecting papers at the doorway. At this point, you literally couldn't blame them. Their teacher was a total hottie and you were practically stealing him right under their noses.
As the last student handed in their assignment, Mr. Rengoku closed the door behind them and approached his desk to set aside the stack of papers. He pulled put a box of tissues, picking one out and sneezed rather loudly into it. Cheeks were now a hue of vermillion and he slighted groaned while holding his head.
"You don't look so good, Mr. Renguko." You stated worriedly.
He waved you off. "Nonsense, I'm fine. And you can drop the formalities when were not in front of students. Call me Kyojuro."
You sighed as you fumbled through your bag handing him some cold and flu pills and a packet of vitamin c. "Ok, Kyojuro. You can call me [first name], but I'm going to need you to take these for me and get on home."
He blew loudly into his tissue before tossing into the trash revealing his very red nose. "I-I'm fine, Miss [last name]-- I mean [first name]. Really, I'm ok." He stuttered as he tried to collect himself and get up. Unfortunately, he couldn't hold himself up for more than ten seconds before collapsing and luckily you were there to catch him. He seemed to have been mumbled incoherent words as he laid heavily in your arms. You sighed as you slowly laid him down on the ground and reached for your cellphone to dial the one person you knew could handle this situation the best.
"You didn't actually burn the place down did you?"
You rolled your eyes. "No, idiot. Teacher down."
"Ah, fuck."
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