#yk during my shift last thurs i socialized w my classmates n shiftmates. n i helped kids w directions that came to our booth

[noxtivagus]

february's been so crazy so far

#🌙.vents #genuinely sorry for the vents i'll fix my tumblr sometime but. yeah #i guess i just can't help it bcs i do want to be seen n known n understood #i'll be my own best friend but.. yeah. i guess this is one way i reach out. bcs it's just here. i write n post n it's out there somewhere #lately i think i've managed to accept like yk what's more important in life. so i've been less shy. still anxious at times but yeah #random but yk at least i look pretty rn w the jeans n the shirt n the cat socks n shoes from my parents n the necklace a friend gifted #n earlier hehe i requested to like yk play existence n shadowbringers n smth from the 1975 for the school fair #rlly made me happy listening to it so loud there #sigh it's just #i crave intimancy n realness n sincerity #hmm. i'm trying to think of yesterday #my friend from another school who went to the fair yk my childhood friend #smth she said made me confused i'm usually affectionate w friends who're also biologically female. yeah. or if they're guys that r gay #n then she mentioned bcs like i had my arm around her shoulder n i cldn't quite catch exactly what she said but she wasn't used to it n then #mentioned she's bi. bi or pan she said. I STILL DONT GET WHY SHE RANDOMLY SAID THAT.. i cldn't hear one thing she said 😭 #yk during my shift last thurs i socialized w my classmates n shiftmates. n i helped kids w directions that came to our booth #n helped a lot of ppl. it was so fucking hot but it was nice #n then during my fair committee shift i helped ppl w remmitting n asked the teacher there for some help #socialized a bit too bcs the second person i helped had problems w their booth so yeah discrepancies #that was last thurs. yesterday i comforted my friends a lot n made a lot of decisions n yeah it was rlly tough ngl #i helped cheer up some of my friends too n.. it felt so fucking unreal rlly just everything then #even the moon. it was so bright. n it was just such a kind moment how i was showing my friend who cried the same constellation we saw the #night before. n. those moments r so fleeting. later i'd be bottling my emotions n crying underneath my mask again #apollo took most of the pics. they deserve more. they shld've been more part. #n i wish i cld've comforted both my other friends more then #one who earlier said that like.. yeah i was chrcking up on them n i think they appreciated it a lot bcs theyve had bad friendships before n #yeah i think she was rather surprised that i found out she's rather closed off? nyways later on she.. yeah i was abt to say some words when #she told me she feels numb when she gets overwhelmed but j got cut off #n to my other friend who cried yeah i comforted her a lot too. later on when i.. was crying a bit n lied it was sweat while smiling #that hurt so much n the look in her eyes when she said 'text me later' i'm sorry. i'm sorry