#yes i know this isn't completly how suicide prevention works but destractions are helpful and Kokichi is one hell of a destraction

[thelemoncoffee]

So, this is an Au i found in the trash on my writing app, i have no fucking clue why i trashed it cause it's actually pretty fucking decent.

!!TRIGGER WARNING: Contains attempt of suicide, unintentional starvation, Overworking, Family death, and general self destruction!!

Shuichi Saihara has been brinking suicidal for ages, he couldn't rememer the last time he ever wanted to live, but recently it's gotten much worse; as joining Hopes Peak as the Ultimate Dtective took a massive toll on him. He's a perfectionist, and as such, he feels the need to be the best in a sea of teenage geniuses; doing that is no easy feat, and that realization definitely hits him hard.

As he stresses over everything, his life slowly slips from his control; his sleep schedule deteriorates into 2 hour naps at 3am, he looses his appetite, he shuts himself in, the only reason he takes baths and changes clothes is because he fears his friends will call him out for reeking and make a fool of him. Overall it all hits him like a truck, and the dark thoughts start to talk more the furthur he spirals. He actually tried to overdose on some random pills he found in the bathroom one night, but ended up throwing them back up.

After his suicide attempt, somehow, for whatever reason; the class clown, Kokichi Ouma, got Shuichi's adress and showed up at his door on a saturday morning. Shuichi tried to shoo him off in favor for attempting to write an essay he knew he'd just eventually shut down on, but Kokichi insisted they spend time together; They made a compromise and Shuichi let him chill in his room while he was working. After an hour of Kokichi mindlesy flipping through the pages of Shuichi's book collection, and Shuichi attempting to write, the stall finally happens, and Shuichi finds himself struggling to write. Kokichi seems to take this as "he's done" and uses it as a way to drag Shuichi out with him on a walk.

The walk was interesting to say the least; Shuichi never spent much time with Kokichi in class, let alone outside of class; but even with what little time he did spend with him, he could deduce that Kokichi was not behaving the same way he did in school. Shuichi was use to malice and arrogant trickery from the little leader, but throughout the walk, he saw a more innocent side to the trickster. sure, he still lied, but there's no negitive intent, their nature was more akin to shitty jokes that people laugh at and don't get why they did; he skipped around like a little kid, picked up random shiny items he found, and at one point they even found themselves wandering down one of the park trails that went through the local forest.

For several weeks this became a regular ouccurance; on an unpredictable day twice a week, Kokichi showed up at Shuichi's door, let him tire himself out on his work, then drug him out on a walk around the neighborhood. Shuichi had no idea why Kokichi was doing this, but he started to enjoy it, even finding himself looking forward to Kokichi's walks. It wasn't until when Shuichi stepped out of his house consiously and accepted the walk before his work did this routine suddenly alter; while walking, Kokichi seemed happier than normal, but in a very calm manner, this odd shift both confused and worried Shuichi. When they walked through the forest, Kokichi became even weirder by insisting Shuichi followed him off the trail.

While heisitant, he listened and followed him into the unknown, and they happened upon somthing beautiful; a low hanging treehouse, no more than a foot off the ground, with a fireplace and logs in the clearing infront of it, a clothes line with various mismathced cloths on it went from the treehouse window to another tree. The inside was cozy and welcoming, multicolored lights hung up inside that Kokichi turned on after going in, feeling like a little fairy home of sorts. Kokichi revealed that this was his safe space; he made this with his big sister after their older brother died, and he comes here when he wants to feel better or to simply be alone, and now Shuichi was the first non family member to know about it.

Shuichi was shocked that Kokichi let him see this, welcomed him into his safe space; and it shocked him even more when Kokichi gave him permission to come out here any time on his own. Kokichi was so reserved at school, sticking to his lies and mind games; but here he was, openly inviting Shuichi into his most honest domaine, one that was created due to the loss of a loved one, lettin him use it. He felt almost honnored that he let him see him so vulnerable.

As time when on, more walks were taken more often, sometimes they'd retreat together to the treehouse and start a small campfire, or sort through all of Kokichi's trinkets he collected and stored there; Shuichi even brough the extra copies he had of his mystery novles to keep there for entertaimment, and Kokichi added boardgames and card decks to the entertaiment hoard. it became a practically every other day thing; they enjoyed their time together, on the walks, in the hideout, telling life stories, playing cards, sharing dreams, together in general. Shuichi could see how truely fake the mask Kokichi wore at school was now, how thick it was, because he saw the real Kokichi in their hideout, that's where he resided, that was his purest form. And Shuichi hadn't realized it quite yet, but he had slowly began to fall in love with the Dork behind the mask of lies.

His uncle one day noted Shuichi had changed; that he seemed happier, relaxed, and less tired. The comment had momentarily confused him, but it quickly clicked how right he was. Shuichi forgot all about his anxiety, his perfectionisim, he forgot to worry about school and if his grades were striaght A's, and instead opted to seek the best feeling he ever had by going back to that hideout, his little leader by his side. It felt so good to relax, he didn't even realize such a tranistion had happened.

Kokichi had fixed him; he gave him something to live for, and saved him from himself. And then it hit Shuichi; that's why Kokichi was doing all this. Kokichi had seen his decline, seen the lack of life in the detective, decided to rekindle a flame that had been out for years, and succeeded; he cared enough to save him. and Shuichi would be lying if he said that didn't make him realize how hard he fell for Kokichi

Time keeps passing, their routine became daily, practically walking together from school to make a beeline for the hideout, maybe stopping by their houses to change into comfortable clothes. They became closer and closer, time seemed to just not exist in the hideout, and before they knew it, three months had passed them by. three months made a difference for Shuichi; three months ago, he was trying to find release from his stress and trauma in the form of death, three months with the class clown in his hair later and he was in a tangle of limbs on a saturday night with said teen, cudding (sadly platonicly) at sunset and talking about whatever oddities came to mind.

Shuichi had hardly noticed that school was almost out for the summer, and he didn't pay much mind the the brand new A's that littered his reportcard, each earned without stressful study sessions; it didn't matter. All that mattered to him was his Kokichi, his sweet angel, the boy who saved his life and stole his heart in the process.

Kokichi at this particular hideout meeting, compaired himself to the monsters from Where The Wild Things Are, and Shuichi not only loved the compairison, but internally wondered if he himself was Max. He wondered if they were just one "let the wild rumpus start!" away from tumbling around in the grass out side; howling at the moon, fencing with sticks, romping around like some sort of feral animals, and laughing together almost the whole time. Kokichi brought out Shuichi's wild thing, and he wanted so desperatly to just indulge in it with Him

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #where the wild things are #au idea #au #suicide tw #death mention #Gay shit is gay #yes i know this isn't completly how suicide prevention works but destractions are helpful and Kokichi is one hell of a destraction #long post