#yado is a thirsty bitch

[what-yadoking-likes]

But what if Wolf "fell" on a heist and then Hoxton "helped" to "patch him back up" and "kissed his knee" better? What then?

#payday 2 #payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #yado writes #wolf #hoxton #wolfhox #payday 3 #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy

[what-yadoking-likes]

Wolf sending flirty messages to Hoxton vs Hoxton sending Wolf flirty messages: the vibes.

#payday 2 #payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #definitely a shitpost #wolf #hoxton #wolfhox #yado's crap memes #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy

[what-yadoking-likes]

Wolf not knowing how to get Hoxton to fuck him so he just orders a bunch of clothes like this:

#payday 2 #payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #wolf #hoxton #wolfhox #yado is a thirsty bitch #payday 3 #yado is a salty wet boy #yado's crap memes

[what-yadoking-likes]

Random MasterGuide AU Part 8

[Link to part 7 here]

"I'm not giving up-" Bain wished he sounded calmer than he currently did - but Dallas' bull-headedness wore on him worse than The Dentist could ever hope to, even with the physical torture.

"Yes you are-" Dallas broke off into weak laughs, scorn and sarcasm in every sound that left his lips. "It'll be so easy and keep your face from getting out there. What's the big deal? Why've you always gotta be the fucking martyr?" Dallas dug his fists into the thick meat of his thighs.

Something inside Bain just - snapped.

Forgetting about the restraints holding him in place, Bain thrashed on the spot. If he had been free, he would have clutched Dallas's shirt and shaken him until common sense entered his thick skull. This was an eruption after months and months of dormancy and passivity and stoicism. All he could manage was frantic struggling in his bindings.

Despite how toothless it was - the struggle, the outrage a lance in his remaining eye - Dallas at long last let his lips fall still. He may have even backed away slightly, as if he actually thought Bain could get free and strike him.

If only he could, then maybe they wouldn't be in this situation.

"I'll do it," Bain said. There was a flatness to his voice that betrayed the extent of his rage. "Take your fucking video of him cumming like a -" he swallowed, unwilling to force himself to say it, even with the inferno burning inside him. He said nothing more, but his nostrils flared, a bull ready to charge.

The Dentist exchanged a look with Kento, and gave a silent, curt nod.

"Bain..." Dallas actually looked like he regretted his words. Somehow the dark circles around his eyes - that were not caused by fists or boots or gun butts - appeared darker, as if what they were about to do had cast a shadow over him.

It happened fast. Kento clicked on the camera, its red light blinking steadily. Dallas whirled around at the sound, panic rumbling inside him.

The Dentist stayed where he was on the other side of the glass, as did Kento. A couple of guards melted out from the shadows, stepping closer in case Bain tried anything once his restraints were released, which they were with a resounding -

Click.

Dallas' mouth went very dry. The lights illuminating the torture chamber - because that's what this was, right? - suddenly felt too bright. He felt exposed and he hadn't even undressed yet. The sharp words he'd wanted to spit at each of them died, his mind scrabbling to even remember what he'd wanted to say.

He heard more than saw Bain stand behind him.

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #Dallas #Bain #MasterGuide #NaviMind #Random MasterGuide AU #The Dentist #Kento #Murkywater #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy #oh dear

[what-yadoking-likes]

The Cell be like

#The Cell #Yado writes #Yado's crap memes #is this a shitpost? #definitely a shitpost #payday 2 #payday #wolf #hoxton #wolfhox #yado is a thirsty bitch #Yado is a salty wet boy

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox Au Part 2 [Link to Part 1 here]

"You sure know how to make a guy feel special, Hox," Chains says, folding his arms as his eyes crinkle in amusement. "You gonna tell 'im what else they'll hate? Go on, really boost his ego-"

Wolf is starting to see the possibilities, though. He rests his head on his hand, thinking.

"If you really want to make their lives miserable - & possibly get me killed - I could flirt with your dad at this thing," he muses, "maybe tell 'em I work as a stripper. Heavily imply I'm only with you for the money & mansion. Call you 'Daddy'. Wear one of those shirts that says 'Don't bully me, I'll cum-"

"Don't bully me, you'll what?"

"Cum, Dallas," Wolf deadpans, as Chains CACKLES. "Keep up."

When the ruckus that causes dies down, Hoxton becomes serious again.

"Look - I went about this all wrong. I don't actually want you to get hurt by them. But I really do wanna take the mick, & I reckon you'd be good at it." Hoxton frowns, and prepares himself to be vulnerable for a change. "These things are always miserable for me. You'd make them a bit more interesting, at least."

"Smooth, Hox. You should be a pick-up artist-"

"Shut the fuck up, Chains-"

Wolf considers Hoxton for a long moment, weighing up the proposal. Then,

"You're paying for everything. And we fly Business Class - at least."

The terms are relatively tame.

"Done!" Hoxton whoops and shakes Wolf's hand - the deal is done. "England, here we come!"

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #wolf #hoxton #dallas #wolfhox #yado is a thirsty bitch #Chains #yado is a salty wet boy #payday 3 #dumb WolfHox au #Payday au #Payday tumblr fic

[what-yadoking-likes]

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Hoxton to Wolf's asshole:

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #payday 3 #is this a shitpost? who knows #wolf #hoxton #wolfhox #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy #yado's crap memes

[what-yadoking-likes]

Hoxton calling Wolf 'lad' in Payday 3 despite being two years younger is peak top energy

#Payday 3 #Hoxton #Wolf #WolfHox #is this a shitpost? who knows #definitely a shitpost #Yado is a salty wet boy #Yado is a thirsty bitch #Yado writes

[what-yadoking-likes]

Sokol: *thinking* I know what'll be funny - yelling "Daddy" in the Safehouse & seeing who responds!

Sokol: DAAAAAAAAADDY!!

Dallas: W H A T

Jacket: what

Bain: hnn?

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #definitely a shitpost #Sokol #Dallas #Bain #Jacket #i don't know what this is #yado is a salty wet boy #yado is a thirsty bitch

[what-yadoking-likes]

Wolf goes to a bar the night before he is to meet with the Payday gang for the first time.

He flirts with a handsome fella and they go back to Wolf's hotel room, where they have hot, anonymous sex.

In the morning, they part ways.

Later that day, Wolf heads to the secret meeting location to meet with the gang.

He looks up from where he was giving Chains a handshake, and freezes for a moment before schooling his face into nuetrality.

Hoxton, who recognises him from the bar and hotel room and intense fucking, does the same.

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #wolf #hoxton #wolfhox #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy #Yado shat this out in 2 mins despite having run through this scenario 000s of times in her head already

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox AU thing Part 4.

[Link to Part 3 here]

It is the night of the ball. Hoxton fiddles with the cufflinks his mother bought him, deciding it isn't worth the hassle to fight her on it - especially when she, out of both of his parents, had been the least despicable when it came to accepting his 'boyfriend', Wolf.

Her face - and eyebrows in particular - spoke volumes the woman would never ever actually say out loud. But unlike his father, who spouted homophobic, racist and otherwise unpleasant rhetoric at the sight of him and Wolf, she was positively an impeccable Ally.

Wolf appears in the finery him and Hoxton had commissioned in DC before making the Business Class flight over the Pacific.

It was unfair, how good Wolf looked in something they'd had custom-made purely for the sake of spoiling his parents' attempts to keep up appearances that their troublesome middle son had turned out alright in the end.

Wolf looked good. He wore a form-hugging night-black trouser and waistcoat set that shimmered with gold and silver iridescence as he moved. The waistcoat was lengthened at the back with tassels, from which hung polished Swarovoski crystals that tinkled and sparkled. To accentuate the muscles of his arms - and his partially exposed chest - Wolf had dusted himself with glitter, strategically placed to draw the eye. And he had done - something - to his face - trimmed the beard, thinning his face, the high points of his face so kissable and-

"Do I look okay?" Wolf asks.

His words interrupt Hoxton's open-mouthed inspection - appreciation - and the Brit meets his eye and swallows, hard.

Fucking hell.

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #Payday 3 #is this a shitpost? who knows #definitely a shitpost #Wolf #Hoxton #WolfHox #dumb WolfHox au? Dumb WolfHox au #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy

[what-yadoking-likes]

Dumb WolfHox AU Part 3

[Link to Part 2 here]

The most difficult thing for Hoxton, it turns out, is keeping a straight face as him and Wolf wreck havoc.

"This is my boyfriend," Hoxton drawls, as Wolf clings to him, running a hand suggestively over his chest - lingering especially over where his nipples would be. The little shit even pops the top two buttons on Hoxton's shirt open, giggling and not even greeting his parents - he had eyes for Hoxton, and Hoxton only.

His father's face purples immediately - his mother gapes, mouth opening and closing like a fish - one of the maids drops a glass, shattering it.

Things only get more ludicrous from there. Hoxton's parents were traditionalists through and through - and propriety dictated their reluctance to correct or chastise Wolf's behaviour - at least directly.

For dinner that night, Wolf wore a leather choker with the words 'Daddy's Girl' emblazoned in crushed diamonds.

"So, Ulf," Hoxton's mother asks stiffly, directing her eyes anywhere else but the ostentatious collar her son was running his fingers over, "how did you meet my son?"

"At work," Wolf says, keeping his eyes on Hoxton the entire time, "he was my best paying client. Still is."

"Oh?"

"Ja. I'm a stripper."

Her eyebrows shoot into her hairline. Hoxton's father slams a fist against the table, rattling the cutlery and fine china dinnerware.

"He's a WHAT?!"

"Oh, you know-" Hoxton waves a hand dismissively, whilst keeping the other firmly around Wolf's neck, "exotic dancer. Lap dancer. Professional shirt-lifter."

Wolf wants to laugh, but manages to turn it into a coquettish little giggle at the last minute. "He tips well," he sighs, nuzzling Hoxton's neck with his nose.

Hoxton's mother drains the rest of her glass without another word.

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #Payday 3 #wolf #hoxton #wolfhox #is this a shitpost? who knows #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy #definitely a shitpost #dumb WolfHox au? Dumb WolfHox au

[what-yadoking-likes]

What's your opinion on the main 4's ass in payday 3?

/sighs/ That picture makes me upset [Link to post Anon is asking about here, click me!]

Now - when I was younger, I wasn't as wise as I am now. I suppose I was still but a Yadon and not yet a Yadoking. Anyway, I didn't truly develop an appreciation of ass until my early 20s.

I always imagined Wolf's ass would be... bigger. Better. Faster. Stronger.

I mean, I didn't think he had a bubble butt exactly, but I always imagined something not far off, y'know? I guess like how Chains' looks in the pic which, if I must say so, is a nice butt indeed.

Hox - again, I would have said something like this shape. Yes. Maybe he just accentuates it more by wearing skinny jeans. For some reason, Hox strikes me as the kind of Millennial fella who'd wear skinny jeans precisely to show off his shapely arse and calves.

Dallas! Dallas, Dallas, Dallas. We have seen Eric Etebari's ass, or at least the side of it in the famous Versace/Cindi Lauper photoshoot. Whilst I know Eric is no longer the face/body model for Dallas, he should be because him bum yummy <3 Did the devs even CONSIDER that in their decision-making? They should have.

In conclusion to this essay about the asses of the OG 4 in Payday 3, they should all have shapely butts with something sizable for me to grab.

#payday 2 #Payday 3 #Payday #Dallas #Hoxton #Wolf #Chains #is this a shitpost? who knows #definitely a shitpost #Yado is a thirsty bitch #Yado is a salty wet boy #thanks for the ask anon! #Yado answers #Yado replies

[what-yadoking-likes]

I think Bain is muscular. Based on his voicelines in-game, he definitely has a history with hands-on heisting, & with the heavy-lifting & stamina that involves? Guy's gotta be ripped.

But! We also know he must be older. And bodies change as they age, which is normal & natural & beautiful.

So! Muscular Bain BUT he has a little chubby tummy.

These are my thoughts & I hope you all agree.

To demonstrate how far you agree you will draw shirtless Bain to further demonstrate how good a muscular but chubby tummy Bain would look for all the haters & non-believers so we may convert them to the truth and I shall behold these drawings & I shall say that they are Good

and then on the Second Day you shall write

#payday 2 #yado writes #payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #bain #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy

[what-yadoking-likes]

The heisters occasionally hold ‘Slides Parties’.

The premise is very simple - any heister who wants to participate as a presenter can do so. They must prepare and present a short PowerPoint presentation on the topic of their choosing - and it can, indeed, be on absolutely ANYTHING - under 10 minutes in length, and then their captive audience are free to ask a few questions before the next presentation.

Of course, sometimes the presentations descend into chaos, because the presenter is a chaotic entity - nobody expected Duke’s presentation to be of this sort.

“Well,” Duke began, smiling broadly at his audience, “it’s so wonderful to have the opportunity to talk to you all about my passion - art!

“But I am no fool. I know not everyone shares my appreciation for paintings and sculptures.” He sighed, as if disappointed in his coworkers.

“So that’s why I thought I’d share with you my favourite - and I’m trying to use language all of you will understand - horniest art.”

He clicks the mouse, and this image appears on-screen:

“First, we have Perseus with the head of Medusa by Cellini. Lovely work, truly - but perhaps we ought to rename it Perseus with a bubble butt. I believe it was Sydney who taught me that, ah, delightful phrase.”

Sydney nodded, grinning and cackling to herself in the corner, a can of beer clasped loosely in her fingers.

“Now-” Another click -

“Does anyone know who this is?”

Immediately the heisters began shouting out various theories.

“Jesus!”

“The angel Gabriel!”

“BAIN!”

Raucous laughter, followed by a hollow beep, and: “I wish.”

The suggestions continue, until finally someone gets it.

“My next Grindr hook-up!”

“Satan-”

“Yes! This is Lucifer, the fallen angel, the devil Himself.”

“Damn,” Sokol whistled, leaning forward on his knees with his elbows, “really do wish he was next Grindr hookup. He’s a... handsome devil.”

Duke managed to only show one more picture before his time was up.

“This has all been rather... male centric so far. So, how about the Ecstasy of St Teresa? Uh, literally.”

“What,” Hoxton asked, once the uproar had somewhat died down, “err. What’s got her so...”

“She’s having a religious experience, of course,” Duke answered, barely able to contain his own laughter. “She’s having a most holy, spiritual moment, Hoxton.”

#Duke #August Lindenhurst #slide party #powerpoint party #Payday 2 #Payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #definitely a shitpost #art #salty wet #Yado is a salty wet boy #Yado is a thirsty bitch #my friends and I really have done powerpoint parties before and they're really fun #I did one about the wild boar population in Hong Kong & the re-introduction of culling after a cop got gored #and another one was about the importance of religious studies versus religious education and religious instruction #I used to teach religious studies/philosophy in a secondary school y'see and I love my subject #other topics by my friends included the metabolist art movement in architecture #the nature of the psychology of dreaming #dumb ways to die in Victorian times #an alternate universe where a certain Empire had never fallen #it was super fun! #anyway I figured the Payday gang would get a kick out of it #maybe Wolf does a 'Why you should date me' a la Maria Pace #anyway uhhhh #CW: suggestive sculptures

[what-yadoking-likes]

I was playing Panic Room & y'all need to know what Bain said.

"That's a perfect hole!!"

#payday 2 #payday #is this a shitpost? who knows #bain #yado is a thirsty bitch #yado is a salty wet boy #panic room #yado plays