#wwoww illinois

[wwoww-au]

give a warm welcome to world-class adventurer Illinois Jenkins!

-mod crow

#mod crow #ahwm illinois #wwoww illinois #markiplier

[wwoww-au]

The Hunt for the Time Wand

[read on AO3]

Dark knocked a couple of times on Abe’s office door before opening it slowly. The head of the department looked up from his desk with his usual semi-concerned smile. Dark wasn’t too happy about being pulled away from their work, but Abe had insisted it was important.

“You wanted to see me?” Dark asked, closing the door behind them. 

“Yes, please, take a seat,” Abe said, gesturing at the chair in front of his desk. Once they had done so, he continued. “I know your last… partnership… didn’t go so well, but—”

“I’m not working with him again,” Dark interrupted, wringing the cane in their hand. Just thinking about their day shadowing Mare made their heart race. Despite the fact that almost two months had passed since then, they still had nightmares about that day. Luckily, it seemed that Mare had recently decided to start avoiding Dark as well. Strange behavior for the detective, but Dark wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“You won’t be working with Mare,” Abe reassured them. “The Committee thought it might help if you were partnered with one of our best Trackers.”

“Trackers?” Dark echoed. They’d heard the term bounced around the Department a handful of times, but no one had ever bothered to explain it to them before.

Abe nodded. “Trackers use their magic to track down magic items, whether the item has been stolen, recently discovered, or even used as an accessory to a crime. Their work is vital to the Department. The only reason you haven’t been assigned one before is that the Time Wand is nearly impossible to track.” Abe pulled a file out of a stack on his desk. “Luckily, we think one of our Trackers might just be up to the task. He’s already managed to pinpoint its current time and location.”

Dark placed their cane to the side and opened the file, letting out an exasperated groan when they saw its contents. They recognized immediately the man smiling flirtatiously up at them from the photo. Illinois Jenkins’ photo winked at them as they made eye contact. Dark quickly closed the file with a glare. 

“I gather you’re already familiar with Illinois?” Abe guessed, taking the file back.

“That’s a word for it,” Dark grumbled. “If leaning over me while I’m working in the Library and constantly flirting with me is ‘familiar.’” They scoffed. “Do I really have to work with him?”

Abe nodded and smiled apologetically. “He’s the only one who will be able to track down the Time Wand.”

Dark dragged their hands down their face. “Fine,” they groaned. “I’m assuming we start tomorrow?”

“Nope, you start today,” Abe corrected. “He’s waiting for you in JJ’s office. You’ll leave as soon as you get there.”

Dark thought for a second, leaning back in their chair. “So if I don’t make it to JJ’s office until tomorrow, we don’t start until tomorrow?” They looked up at Abe with a smirk.

“Dark, please.”

“Fine, fine, I’m going,” Dark huffed, pushing their chair away from the desk. “This better work.”

.

.

Illinois was in the middle of regaling JJ with a likely exaggerated story when Dark entered. JJ looked grateful to see Dark, and Illinois quickly noticed them as well.

“Well if it isn’t my good friend Dark!” Illinois exclaimed, gesturing broadly as he turned to face them. “Long time no see.” The Tracker tipped his wide-brimmed hat.

“First off, we’re not friends,” Dark corrected, “and you saw me two days ago.”

“Much too long,” Illinois teased, giving them a wink. “You know you missed me.”

“I really didn’t,” Dark muttered. To JJ, they added louder, “Where are we going?”

JJ looked grateful to have a chance to speak. “Australia, the 1930s,” he answered. “I doubt you’ll be seeing many other people though, so no need to change into anything else. Unless you want better hiking clothing.”

Dark shook their head. “Let’s just get this over with.”

.

.

It was raining when Dark and Illinois stepped through the portal and into the forest. The trees towered over them but provided little cover from the downpour. Illinois fished a compass out of the satchel on his hip. He waved it vaguely over the both of them, and the rain began to bounce off of an invisible cover over their heads. Illinois tapped the compass a couple more times and a gold dot appeared on its edge. He squinted at the dot and frowned.

“Looks like we’ve got a lot of ground to cover,” Illinois said, turning in the direction the dot pointed. “We’d best get moving now before it gets dark.” There was a mischievous twinkle in the Tracker’s eye as he looked down at Dark. “Get it? Dark? It’s your name, get it?”

Dark tried not to groan. “Let’s just start walking,” they grumbled.

They let Illinois lead the way, pushing aside the undergrowth in their path with a wave of his hand. Dark had to admit, he was a talented wizard. Being able to maintain two spells at once while still being able to use his magic to clear the path ahead was a far off dream for Dark. They were sure they could improve with practice, but practice was not something they had time for. Maybe once they caught Wilford.

Even though Illinois was able to get rid of the undergrowth, the walk was difficult. Dark resorted to using their cane to help them walk, which was a surprisingly rare thing for them. The rain only made things worse, not to mention the spell Illinois was using to keep them dry was only meant for one person, meaning they had to stay uncomfortably close together to keep from getting drenched. At one point, Illinois abruptly stopped, grabbing Dark by the arm. "We have to stop, this rain is making it too hard to do anything," Illinois shouted over the heavy rain. "I think there's a cave around here, we can take cover there."

"How do you know there's a cave nearby?" Dark yelled, quickly following after as Illinois abruptly started walking in a different direction.

"I'm a Tracker, remember?" he said with a smirk. He magically pushed aside a small thicket and entered into a small clearing, where sure enough there was the entrance to a cave. "I'm the best at what I do. After you, Dark." They pushed past him, jogging as to quickly get out of the rain and away from the flirtatious adventurer.

There was nothing remarkable about the cave, it was empty except for some debris that had blown in from the forest outside. It was filled with the sounds of rainwater dripping in from the ceiling and their footsteps echoing through the tunnels. Illinois was quick to follow them into the shelter, dispelling the water from his clothes with a clap of his hands. "This is the perfect place to wait out the storm!" He smiled, obviously congratulating himself for finding the cave in the first place. "I'll build us a fire to keep warm. Unless, of course, you'd rather stay warm by-"

"Don't even finish that sentence." Dark glared at him. They attempted to magically rid the water from their own clothes, but didn’t get nearly as dry as their companion. Illinois simply shrugged and began gathering sticks and leaves off the floor of the cavern. They turned around, looking towards the back of the cave. It stretched so far back, they couldn't see how far it went. They stood there for a moment, taking a couple steps forward towards the tunnel.

"Easy there, tiger," Illinois warned as he watched them from his position, hunched over a makeshift campfire. He snapped his fingers, a small flame igniting at his fingertips. "Don't go wandering off by yourself, now. It's easy for anyone to get lost in caves like these. Well, except for me, of course." He smirked, lighting the fire. 

"I think I hear something," Dark muttered absently. They squinted, trying to make out anything that lay beyond the shadows of the cave.

"Probably just an echo, don't worry about it." Illinois patted the ground next to him. "Come sit by the fire."

"No, it's not an echo. I definitely hear something. It could be Warfstache, I'm checking it out.” Without waiting for an answer, they started walking forward into the cave. They heard Illinois sigh behind them, and soon he appeared at their side with a makeshift torch made from a stick from his fire. 

"You're quite the adventurer, aren't you?" Illinois said in an attempt at small talk. "Do you always run headfirst into possible danger like this?"

"With my job, it's kind of a requirement." They stopped walking as the tunnel split off in two paths. They shushed Illinois as he started to talk, listening close to hear the sound they heard earlier. "This way," they pointed to the left tunnel, quickly rushing into the tunnel.

"Whoa, slow down!" Illinois walked cautiously behind them. "You've got to be careful in caves like these."

"What are you talking ab-" They came to a halt, hearing a loud crack come from below them. The ground shook before completely collapsing, taking Dark with it. They yelped as they plummeted into darkness.

"Dark!" Illinois rushed forward, skidding to his knees beside the edge of the hole. "Are you okay down there?" He held up the torch, illuminating it.

Dark lay at the bottom, gripping the back of their head. "Yeah… I'm fine."

Illinois let out a sigh of relief, before immediately snapping back into his ever-so-charming personality. "I knew you'd fall for me eventually." He smiled and winked at them.

"Do you ever shut up?" they grumbled, pulling their sore body off the rocks. "Just help me out of here." 

"Okay, okay… I'm coming down." Illinois leaped down, landing gracefully next to them. He took their hand with his free one, pulling them to their feet. He smiled at Dark as they set to work pulling their cane from the debris, when his eyes suddenly darted to the side. He turned, holding the torch up to the other side of the hole, revealing another cave entrance. He fished into his bag, pulling out his compass to confirm his suspicions. Sure enough, the gold dot on its face pointed in that direction. "Well, would you look at that! Your slip-up just got us closer to finding the Time Wand!"

"I'm not sure if I should be insulted or not," Dark huffed, glaring at him.

"It was supposed to be a compliment. How about I give you another compliment instead?" Illinois leaned in close. "You are the most handsome and/or beautiful person I've ever met."

Dark stared at him, unamused. They sighed, "Let's keep going."

.

.

The tunnel was cramped, not even enough room for them to walk side by side. Illinois took up the front, holding his torch ahead of him as he led them through the cave. Every so often, the tunnel would split off into multiple paths, but Illinois trekked ahead with absolute certainty. After a few minutes of silent walking, he spoke up. "So, Dark, how'd you land such a good case?"

"Huh?" They didn't look up, too busy trying to keep from tripping on the rocky terrain.

"You know, the Warfstache case." He peered over his shoulder for a moment. "I've been campaigning the Committee for them to put me on the case for who knows how long. And I know I'm not the only one." Dark was well aware of how many people wanted the case, their mind wandering to a certain music wizard. Illinois continued, "So, how'd you do it?"

"Why do you care?"

"Just making small talk," he answered innocently with a shrug. "Who wouldn't want to know how you managed to land a career-making case like this? No offense, but finding a treasure like the Time Wand seems like a lot for an inexperienced wizard such as yourself."

Dark ignored the dig at their inexperience; they were used to getting remarks like that from nearly everyone they met at this point. But something about his words made them stop in their tracks. "Treasure?" they repeated, staring at his back. "Is this all just another treasure hunt to you?"

"No, of course not." Illinois turned to face them, flashing his signature smile. "I'm here to help you find Warfstache. But you can't deny the thrill of uncovering one of the most important relics to wizardkind. Not to mention the fame and fortune you could earn once you bring it back to the Committee-" He held the torch up, finally seeing Dark's scowling face in the firelight. "Come on, don't look at me like that."

“This is a serious case about a dangerous criminal and all you care about is the thrill of it? You don’t know what I’ve had to go through trying to track him down, attempting not to get shot or thrown off a cliff or burnt at the stake, and you’re just going to barge in here to get a shot at the fucking fame and fortune?” Dark’s voice rose steadily, red sparks starting to dance across their fists, knuckles white as they held tight to their cane.

“Well, hey now-“ Illinois attempted to interrupt, raising a hand in a placating manner as he eyed the loose magic coming off of Dark. 

“No, you shut up!” Dark yelled, glaring at Illinois as the magic started to spark more dangerously, some sparks leaping off of them and hitting the floor. “I am sick and tired of you dumb sycophants marching around going on about how wonderful working on this case it, it’s such an opportunity, aren’t I lucky? I’m not doing this for fun, I’m doing this because I have to bring Wilford motherfucking Warfstache to justice!”

Dark's words echoed through the tunnels. The red magic exploded off of them, colliding with the cavern walls and cracking the rock. Dirt and pebbles began to fall from the ceiling. They could barely process Illinois shouting "Watch out!" before they were shoved backwards, barely missing being crushed by a falling boulder. 

Dark regained their bearings as the dust cleared. Rocks now filled the thin tunnel, forming a blockade between them and Illinois. The adventurer was coughing, before clearing his throat and shouting "Are you alright?" His voice was serious, without a hint of humor or flirting.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright," they muttered, moving towards the blockage. They lifted a smaller rock from the pile in an attempt to make a way through, but it only caused the pile to shift dangerously towards them. They heaved a great sigh. "What are we going to do?"

"Go back down the tunnel, to the last crossroads we passed," Illinois shouted. "The tunnels should all let out eventually. I'll go on ahead and meet you outside."

"Are you sure?" They looked back down the tunnel they came from, a sinking feeling filling their stomach as they looked into the empty blackness.

"Absolutely!" They could hear the confident smile in Illinois' voice. "I'll see you on the other side, partner." They heard the sound of footsteps fading into the distance.

Dark sucked in a breath, clasping their hand closed. They squeezed their eyes shut, focusing all their energy to their hand. Slowly, they opened their shaking fingers, squinting as a small orb of magic filled the cavern with bright, red light. They took their first steps forward back down the tunnel. They focussed on the light in their hand, both to keep the cave lit and to keep their mind from wandering to wild ideas of what might lurk beyond the shadows.

.

.

The tunnel had been sloping up for some time now, giving Dark hope that they would find the exit soon enough. They quickened their pace, but only for a moment as the mysterious sound from earlier echoing through the tunnel made them stop dead in their tracks. The noise only grew closer and closer. They began to back up, ready to run at the first sign of danger. Suddenly the noise was right in front of them. They held up the glowing orb in their hand to illuminate the whole cavern, finally spying the source of the noise.

A small, chittering monkey.

Dark chuckled to themselves, realizing how frightened they had been by such a silly little thing. They kneeled down in front of it, holding the light out as the monkey cautiously approached with eyes transfixed on the bit of magic. "Hello there, little guy." Dark smiled at the animal, just about relaxed from the tense journey through the tunnels, when it hit them. JJ said the portal was taking them to Australia. There weren't any monkeys in Australia. They looked down at the creature again, only able to mutter, "Well, you're a long way from home, aren't you?"

The monkey simply batted at the magic light a couple times, before a faint whistle rang out through the tunnel. The monkey immediately turned and ran back towards the source of the noise. Dark stood up, briefly contemplating the ridiculousness of what they were about to do before taking off after the monkey. 

As they ran, they realized that the tunnel was slowly getting brighter and brighter. They extinguished the magic orb, shaking their hand as they went to help with how cramped it felt after holding the spell for so long. It wasn't long before they finally spied the opening of the cave, the literal light at the end of the tunnel. 

They skidded to a halt as soon as they made it outside. It must have stopped raining during their adventures down in the cave, as sunlight now gently poured through the treetops above. They squinted as they looked around, eyes not yet adjusted to the bright light outside the cave. They were now in a forest clearing, the tranquil scene completely cut off from the rest of the woods by thick foliage. The soft grass underfoot practically glittered in the sunlight, still wet with raindrops from the earlier storm.

In the center of it all was the jarring sight of Wilford Warfstache. He sat in the middle of the clearing, surrounded by monkeys. The monkey from the cave was perched on his shoulder, playing with the bright pink mess that was Wilford's hair. He cradled a smaller one in his arms. On his right, two monkeys fought over the contents of an open, metal lunchbox; and on his left, a single monkey batted at the pieces of a travel chessboard.

Dark approached the bizarre scene slowly, both out of confusion and out of hope to not scare off the thief. As soon as they got close, Wilford looked up from the baby monkey in his arms and smiled at them. "Hello there, friend! It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"It really hasn't," Dark scoffed. In the last month they'd cornered him five times, the fourth time being only a few blocks from Crime Department headquarters. 

"Ah well, time tends to get jumbled for me every now and then." He shrugged, gently placing the small monkey next to the one at the chessboard, intently watching the two of them knock over with the wooden pieces as if he were watching a professional chess match.

Dark let out a resigned sigh. "What the hell do you think you're doing out here? And where did these monkeys come from?!"

"Oh, I'm having a picnic! As for the monkeys, I'm not quite sure. I opened a portal looking for my lunchbox and they all fell through. They make decent company, though." He reached into the lunchbox, pulling out a piece of fruit and holding it out to Dark. "Banana?"

"No thanks," they said, staring down at the thief with dismay. "You're under arrest." 

Wilford laid back in the grass with a dramatic sigh. "Every time with the arrest talk. It gets so boring after a while."

Dark sputtered, stomping forward and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt with their free hand, pulling him up just enough to get close to his face. "Boring?! I'm arresting you, you idiot! This isn't just some game!"

"If it isn't a game, then why do I have so much fun every time I see you?"

Dark let out a yell of frustration. While they stood there, trying their hardest to get the severity of the situation through to the grinning madman, they spotted movement in the tree on the edge of the clearing. They turned to face it, still clutching to Wilford's shirt.

Illinois appeared into view, expertly cutting down the dense plantlife with his magic. When he spotted Dark, his features quickly lit up with that signature smile of his. He jogged right up to them, glancing between them and Warfstache.

"I'm so glad you made it out okay!" he said, patting Dark on the shoulder. "And you've managed to catch our man! If you weren't a detective, you'd make a fine Tracker."

"Thanks," they grumbled.

Illinois turned to Wilford with a smug grin. "So, this is the man who's been stirring up so much trouble in the Committee."

"That's me," Wilford confirmed, and held out a hand. "Wilford Warfstache, pleasure to meet you."

"The name's Illinois Jenkins." He returned the handshake. "You're much more polite than the Committee files make you out to be, Willford. Much more handsome, too."

"Are you serious right now?" Dark looked to Illinois with a mixture of disgust and confusion. They shoved Wilford towards Illinois. "Fine, if you're going to be flirting with the criminal, then you get to watch him."

"Don't mind if I do," Illinois winked at Wilford, looping their arms together.

"Oh, I like this one," Wilford smiled. "Hey Dark, you should bring your friends more often."

"He's not my friend," Dark scoffed at the two.

"He's not?"

"I'm not?" 

"No, I mean, I-" They sputtered before letting out a strangled, aggravated sigh. They ran a hand through their hair in frustration. "I'm not doing this right now. I'm just going to call JJ to take us back to the Crime Department. Then I can finally be done with this case."

"The Crime Department?" Wilford echoed, his shoulders sagging with exaggerated disappointment. "Do we really have to go to that dreary old dump? I'd much rather go someplace more fun, like a carnival. Or a good old-fashioned disco; I haven't been to one of those in a good while."

Illinois smiled and patted his arm. "Usually, I'd love to spend more time with someone as handsome as you, but I'm afraid we have to complete our assignment and turn you in."

Dark shook their head. As much as they hated the Tracker's incessant flirting, they were consistently impressed with his ability to keep a cool head throughout this strange adventure. His confidence never wavered from when they were lost in the caves to now, as he managed to keep Wilford of all people occupied with his charm. Maybe this partnership with Illinois would work out after all.

They turned their attention to their watch, turning their back to the two men. They needed to muster up all the energy they could to cast the communication spell, and they really couldn't have those two and their outrageous personalities distracting them.

Illinois huffed as he watched Dark set to work on the communication spell. This was the part of the adventure he always disliked. He loved the thrill of the chase, but once the chase was over there was nothing left to do but file reports and wait around for the next assignment. He glanced over Wilford, who was telling a nearly incomprehensible story about the last time he was at a disco while Illinois spaced out. As he talked the Tracker looked the thief up and down, his heart skipping a beat when his eyes caught a flash of gold within his coat.

"Is that it?" Illinois said, pointing at the wand.

"Is what what?" Wilford stared at him for far too long before blinking and following his hand. "Ah! That's what you're talking about. Yes, this is that wand everyone's always yelling about." He pulled the wand out of his coat with a flourish, twirling it in his fingers.

"Can I hold it? I've never seen a Core Wand in real life before." Illinois could barely contain his excitement, eyes glued on the artifact in front of him.

"I don't see why not. You seem nice enough." Wilford plopped the wand into Illinois’ outstretched hands.

Illinois stood awestruck for what felt like an eternity. He never imagined that he could be holding such an immensely powerful artifact like the Time Wand, let alone have it handed to him in such a nonchalant way, by the very person who stole it. Once he regained his composure, Illinois began to examine the wand. He could practically feel the powerful magic radiating off the centuries old piece of wood. He turned it over in his hand, admiring how the intricately carved details of its gold handle shimmered in the afternoon sun. After thoroughly examining the wand's details, he readjusted his grip to hold it by the handle, even posing with it like a child playing with a wooden sword. 

Wilford started to fidget the longer Illinois held onto the wand, tapping his foot on the soft grass. "You've had your fun. Now can you please give the wand back?" he asked, his nerves obvious as he spoke.

Illinois looked down at the wand in his hand, the gold reflecting in his eyes as he cracked a deceptive smile. "No. I think I'll hold on to this for now. I'm sure the Committee will be happy to see it once we return to the present."

In an instant Wilford threw himself at Illinois, nearly toppling him over. He grabbed at the wand, trying desperately to wrench it out of the Tracker's hands. "Give it back! I need it!" he cried, now fully engaged in a desperate game of tug-of-war with the dangerous artifact. "You don't understand- I still haven't found them!"

"Found them?!" Illinois yelled in confusion, his voice strained as he struggled to regain his hold on the wand. Even as he focused on the fight, he was acutely aware that Dark had joined the fray, grabbing the thief from behind in an attempt to pull him away from the wand. "Who could you possibly be trying to find?!"

"I don't know, I just know they're important! Now give it back!" Wilford yelled. In the scuffle, he managed to wrench the wand downwards, golden magic erupting from it and colliding with the ground. The magic swirled, eventually forming a portal into an unknown field. The whimsical, pink bubbles that normally adorned the surroundings instead bubbled violently, like the surface of a pot of water left boiling for too long. 

The force of the magic making contact with the ground was enough to knock back the three wizards. Wilford, who miraculously still held onto the wand, was the first to recover from the blast. He took one glance at the other two, locking eyes with Dark as they began to pull themselves up from the ground, and gave a quick wave before diving head first into the portal. 

"No!" Dark yelled. They threw themself at that thief, but met nothing but empty air. The portal was gone, the only remnant of it being there was a few pink bubbles which soon popped out of existence too. They silently stood in the middle of the clearing for only a moment before unleashing a string of frustrated curses at the top of their lungs. 

"Damn," Illinois said.  Dark whipped around to see the Tracker leisurely pulling himself into a sitting position. He grabbed his hat off the ground, brushed some dirt off of it, and repositioned it on his head. "I thought I had him!"

"You… selfish prick!" Dark stomped over to the Tracker, yelling down as he simply lounged in the grass with the comfort of someone on vacation. "If you hadn't been so focused on your little treasure hunt, we'd be back at the Department with Warfstache behind bars! But you just had to try and take the wand for yourself!"

Illinois stared up at them, his smile slowly fading. He pulled in his legs, hugging his knees and leaning his chin on his arms. "You're right. It's my fault Wilford got away. I'm sorry."

Dark's anger subsided as they locked eyes with the Tracker. They sighed, running a hand through their hair. They took a seat next to the Tracker, gently tossing their cane onto the grass beside them. Now that they were sitting, they could feel all their injuries sink in. Their entire body ached. They suspected that they would find themself covered in bruises from not one but two times falling onto the rocks. 

"Are you going to call JJ to portal us out of here?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute," Dark said, laying their head in their hands.

"Y'know, Wilford mentioned trying to find someone using the Time Wand." Illinois looked over at the detective. "Do you know what he meant by that?"

Dark was silent, gently rubbing circles over the scarred part of their face. Finally, they spoke. "No idea. I’ve been chasing him for a while now, and… I’ve never really seen him with another person, at least never for very long.”

"It's still a lead, maybe you can look into it when we get back to the Department."

"Maybe," they said. "Speaking of, I better contact JJ. I'm sure Abe is anxious to hear about how this all went."

Illinois hummed, leaning back and leaning his head on Dark's shoulder. "You know, we don't have to call JJ right this moment," he said, looking up at them with a twinkle in his eye. "This is a pretty, dare I say, romantic location. I mean, the place is already set up for a picnic. What do you say? How about a date?"

Dark stared at him, barely repressing a laugh. They really wanted to be mad, but something about his neverending flirting seemed funny in this somber moment. "That's never going to happen," they scoffed, pushing him off of their shoulder. 

Illinois flopped over onto the ground, dramatically clutching at his heart. "You wound me, Dark," he sighed through a grin. "I'll win you over one of these days."

"You'll keep trying," Dark said, rolling their eyes. They stood from their seat with a groan, offering a hand to Illinois as he grinned up at them. "Come on, let's get going."

.

.

"- and then, the cave collapsed, leaving Dark and I seperated. But, thanks to our impressive tracking skills, we were both able to find our ways out of the caves. By the time I arrived, Dark had already cornered Warfstache-"

Dark sat in a chair in Abe's office, listening as Illinois enthusiastically recounted their adventure, plus a few embellishments. Their eyes darted between the two men; Illinois, with his foot propped up on a stack of criminal case files as he gestured wildly to illustrate his story, and Abe, who watched the Tracker with chin propped up on folded hands, every so often glancing at Dark in disbelief whenever Illinois detailed his own heroic deeds.

"It all came down to an epic fight, Dark and me versus the thief. I managed to grab hold of the Time Wand, but alas, Warfstache was able to overpower the two of us and escape through a time portal." Illinois leaned back in his chair as he finished relating the day’s events.

"I see," Abe said, with an eyebrow raised. He turned to Dark, who could see he was only barely keeping a straight face. "Is this all true?"

"More or less," they shrugged.

"Then that's all I need from you. Thank you, Illinois." Abe gave the Tracker a polite smile, gesturing to the office door.

Illinois tipped his hat. "Always happy to help," he said, shooting a wink at Dark before leaving the office.

As soon as the door closed, Abe turned his full attention to Dark. "So," he said, drumming his fingers on the desk. "How was working with Jenkins?"

Dark thought for a moment, twirling their cane with one hand. "It wasn't completely horrible," they said after a moment. "Illinois was actually pretty nice after I got to know him."

"Aw, look at you making friends." Abe smirked, but it was clear that his sentiment was genuine. 

"We're not friends," Dark said without thinking. They paused, before continuing. "Not yet, anyway. I'd have to try talking to him when I'm not working- or, at least not in a life-threatening situation like today." Abe nodded in understanding. "That reminds me, I have a new lead on where to find Warfstache next."

Abe sat up in his desk chair. "What is it?"

"During the fight with Warfstache," Dark began, noting Abe's look of disbelief. "Yes, we did actually fight him, but it was far less epic than Illinois described it as. Anyway, while we were fighting, Warfstache said he needed the Time Wand to find someone."

"Did he say who it was?"

"No. He doesn't know who he's looking for, just that they're important to him."

Abe sat back in his chair, stroking his chin in thought. He then spun around in his chair, standing to pace around the room, eyes darting around the conspiracy wall that took up the office. "Years of searching and never once has this thief mentioned looking for anyone," he mused. He paused in front of a particular section of the wall, where clippings of police reports noting Warfstache's known accomplices were pinned up alongside glossy photos of the suspects.

Dark stood from their own seat, moving around the desk to stand next to Abe. "I have an idea about who he may be talking about, but I'm not sure. I'm going to stop by the old bookshop tomorrow. There might be some clues the Department overlooked."

"Are you sure?" Abe looked at his friend. He could sense their anxiety spike as soon as they mentioned the bookshop. "You haven't been back there since-"

"I know," Dark cut him off. They knew what he wanted to say, but they couldn't bear to hear it said out loud. "But if it could mean catching Warfstache, I have to go."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I should be fine. Thank you, though." They decided it was time they took their leave, and began to walk out of the room.

"Dark?" Abe said just as they reached for the office's doorknob. "You know I'll always be there for you, right? You don't have to do everything alone."

"I know," they said, shoulders drooping slightly. They didn't even look back at their friend as they opened the door and stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind them.

.

.

"Dark, over here!" Dark was halfway down the front steps of Crime Department headquarters when they were pulled out of their own thoughts by a certain adventurer shouting their name. Illinois stood at the bottom of the steps, waving with one hand, the other propped on his hip.

"Illinois? I thought you left already," Dark quickly padded down the stone steps to meet up with the Tracker.

"I was about to head home, but I wanted to talk to you about something first," he said.

"I swear, if you're trying to ask me out again-"

"No, not that. But the offer is always on the table," he winked. He then cleared his throat, straightening his posture. "I just wanted to talk about today. Even though it wasn't perfect-"

"That's an understatement," Dark crossed their arms, noting the fact that they were still aching from their tumble onto the rocks earlier that day. They’d have to check by Henrik’s to make sure they hadn’t gotten anything worse than bruises.

"You're right, it was a disaster," Illinois chuckled. "But I think you and I make a great team. And I want to help you catch Warfstache, honest. What I'm saying is, with your permission, I'd like to ask the Wizard Committee to assign me to the case again. So what do you say, want to continue the adventure?" He opened his arms in a welcoming gesture, his normal confidence melted away to reveal his genuine intentions.

Dark averted their eyes. They weren't sure how to respond. They appreciated his offer, but they'd spent years committed to this case as their sole mission, and accepting a practical stranger's help would be a difficult thing to do. "It'll be difficult convincing the Committee to let you take the case again," they said after a moment. It wasn't quite a refusal, but not an acceptance either. "We'll just have to see."

Before either could say another word, there was a shout from the top of the stairs, drawing both’s attention. Dark recognized the voice instantly, and they wanted to disappear.

Mare made his way quickly down the stairs, stopping just a few steps above Dark and Illinois. Illinois didn't seem as bothered by the other man's appearance as Dark was, but they still noticed the slight defensive shift in his stance towards them as he recognized their discomfort.

"Relax," Mare grumbled, glaring at Illinois. Turning to Dark, he added, "You know, handcuffs tend to come in handy when you've caught a criminal." Before Dark could say anything, Mare shoved a pair of shiny magic handcuffs in their arms. "You should keep a pair on you at all times."

Dark wasn't quite sure what to say, or whether they should be insulted or not. "I- I had handcuffs," they stuttered. They wanted to kick themselves for forgetting though, and for having to have Mare of all people remind them.

Mare crouched down to look them in the eye, a patronizing smile on his face. "Well then use them next time, dumbass."

"Well, now, don't blame them," Illinois spoke up, placing a hand on Mare's shoulder. "I was the one in charge of holding Warfstache."

"You" — Mare harshly pulled his shoulder away from Illinois as he straightened himself — "should know better. You'd think two idiots would be able to catch one thief, but I guess two wrongs don't make a right."

Dark opened their mouth to spit back a retort, but a wink from Illinois told them he'd handle it.

"Come now, Mare," Illinois said smoothly. "Harsh words can ruin a pretty face like yours."

Dark couldn't tell if the red spreading across Mare's face was from anger, or if the flirting had actually gotten to him, though they were pretty sure if Illinois said another word, he'd be met with a fist to the face. They took a step back, not wanting to get caught up in whatever happened next.

To their surprise, however, Mare suddenly relaxed, taking a few deep breaths. The detective glared at Illinois and then at Dark, and then, with a muttered, "Piss off," shoved past them both. Stunned, Dark watched Mare stride across the Department plaza.

Illinois was first to break the silence. "What was that all about?" he said with a chuckle.

"Who knows," Dark huffed, and shrugged. "He's always looking for ways to make my life a living hell. He's been doing it less lately, at least."

"Maybe he's finally coming around to see what a truly amazing person you are."

Dark scoffed, both at the compliment and at the idea of Mare starting to like them. "Yeah, right. He probably just got bored." They fiddled with their cane, unsure of what else to say. "I… should get going. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow."

"I understand. If you come to a decision about working with me again, let me know." Illinois nodded. "See you around, Dark."

And with a tip of Illinois' hat, the two went their separate ways.

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