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seungcheolrk · 7 years

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hope is not lost today, it is found.

As soon as the casting notice is posted on the morning of the 20th, the news spreads like wildfire around the company. The whispers of “Baek Jiyoung CEO is debuting a new group!” spreads from one person to another, trainees and coaches alike, until there’s barely a soul who hasn’t heard what Sphere Entertainment plans to do before lunch break ends. Rumors abound about the concept, quickly exaggerated and easily argued over, until Park Heungsoo, one of the company’s vocal coaches, calls for attention in the middle of the bustling cafeteria. Once the room is quiet, he informs the group that all male trainees are to be called out by their trainers individually beginning after the lunch period. “Attendance for these meetings are mandatory,” he emphasizes loudly. “As they concern your future with the company, I advise you not to be late.”

True to the vocal trainer’s words, one of Sphere’s rap coaches, Kim Seungwook, calls you to his office several hours later. Seated behind his desk, Seungwook greets you by name when you arrive and offers up a sly smile. “As you might’ve already heard, our charming CEO intends to put together a new idol group. Luckily for you, you’ve already caught her eye as a possible member for it.” The trainer reaches for a paper on his desk which happens to be your company profile. He reads over the listed information with a critical eye before switching his attention back to you. “My question to you, Seungcheol, is whether you’re interested in this opportunity and, if you are, where it is that you see yourself positioned in this group. Main rapper? Or perhaps as a lead vocalist, or even as a dancer? Maybe even the leader?” He places the paper aside, staring at you intently. “If you are interested in being in this group, know that I will immediately arrange to place you in a special training regimen to prepare you for the demands of this group. This may mean dancing lessons if you are lacking in that, or even rap lessons if I also want you to improve in that area.” Leaning back against his chair, Seungwook nods towards the door. “Think over this proposition carefully and get back to me with an answer by the end of the week. You may go.”

it’s almost comical how quickly a fresh can of worms opens as he leaves his meeting with coach kim. what had started as a simple ‘are you interested in debuting?’ had spiralled into a catastrophic mess of self-doubt and uncertainty within seconds, and whilst seungcheol likes to hope this is just him, just him and his usual insecurities, he knows better that almost every sphere trainee will be wondering the same thing — am I ready?

there are a lot of things he needs to ask himself over the next few days, and he does, solely himself, because even though he desperately wants to ask for others’ opinions, he knows that the ones that matter are only going to say it’s his decision to make; that he should follow his heart and not someone else’s. that’d been one of his many fatal flaws for years, hadn’t it? always putting others’ opinions over his own— never stopping others’ amusement at his fears in high school despite how it would upset him, always believing he had to earn his place at sphere in the eyes of others despite knowing deep down that he wouldn’t have it if he didn’t deserve it.

and he knows there’ll be a lot of sacrifices to make. he won’t have as much time to spend with his friends outside of the group or his parents. he won’t have as much time at all, really, and he can kiss his monthly youtube commitment goodbye. he’ll have to do things he’s nervous about or that he doesn’t find as much interest in like commercials and photoshoots ( again, the words ‘visual hole’ echo in his mind, but he pushes them away; they’re not a concern just yet ), but does any of it feel like enough to turn his back on this incredible opportunity? does it really matter regardless, knowing that whether he debuts now or later, he’ll still have to forfeit the same predebut perks no matter what?

the second umbrella question he asks himself is whether or not he deserves it. in an ideal world, he’d say yes. he’d confidently nod his head thinking back over the past eleven months since he signed the contract and say yes, I’ve worked hard. but instead he thinks of the people who have been here longer, the people who have grown far more than he has even in the same or shorter time, and he pales. his fingers shake against his thighs in the cold darkness of his room at 1am, because even though he got home just over two hours ago and he has to get back up in a few more hours for another day of training, wondering, he can’t sleep — only think. think about the future, his future and whether or not he deserves to live it now— at all.

his thumbs hover over jihoon’s contact, waiting to hit call and let the tears flow out to a score of the younger’s soothing voice but seungcheol remembers he’s a trainee, too. he has to get up early, too, and he has to make this decision, too. and he feels selfish, for thinking that he’s the only one struggling at the moment, when it’s obvious the impact the announcement has made on the atmosphere at the seocho building— the impact it will continue to make on everyone’s lives, whether they go for it or not. ‘debut’ is a word many of their trainees have been waiting to hear for years and he thinks, I don’t deserve it as much as them, yet I’ve been given this chance regardless, and he realises it’s not his decision to make if he’s worthy of this opportunity; it’s baek jiyoung’s, and she thinks he’s got something ( even if he doesn’t know what it is ) and who is he to argue? perhaps she had seen this potential in him from the start. perhaps that’s why she had signed him against the better judgement of her peers at his audition. perhaps he should stop worrying about whether or not he should’ve been given this opportunity and instead be grateful that he has been.

a better question, the ultimate question, is really whether or not he wants this now — if he’s ready not only for the trials of being an idol but also in terms of growth. still, baek jiyoung having her ‘eye’ on him as a ‘potential member’ spills over into this, too. if she believes in him, why can’t he believe in himself? does he really think he’s ready for this— to fight against antis, to allow his entire life to be scrutinised under a microscope ( not to mention every move he makes after they go public, for the rest of his life ). he has no doubt that he will have to be ready for all of this in order to debut, but the question is now? is he ready now?

( he thinks so, at least on some level. he thinks that’s probably included somewhere in the special training; that he’s probably going to develop a thicker skin as he’s pushed past his limits to prepare himself for the defining moment of the rest of his life. if he doesn’t, he’ll be surprised. )

but really, the question that stumps him the most, once he’s convinced himself with all his nervousness that he deserves this, that he should be grateful to be considered and that he’d be a fool not to take it, is where he fits in the grand scheme of things.

“I—” he starts, habitually rubbing his finger against his thumb as his hands clasp together on his lap. it’s the afternoon of saturday, september 23rd, after practice has ended and his hair is stuck firmly to his forehead with sweat. he sucks in a deep breath, unsure of whether it’s because he ran here or because he has so much he feels he needs to say. “I want this opportunity— more than I think I or anyone else would have thought when it was presented to me.” he pauses, casts his eyes to the ground briefly before meeting seungwook’s once more. “I don’t think it’s up for debate how much I love music, but I think my tendency to be calmly passionate has made me seem... more laid-back about my dream than I truly am. I want this. this opportunity means the world to me and whilst I — like everyone else will have, or at least I hope, since this is a big decision — debated it over for a few days, I don’t think my decision is one I’m stating now with any hesitance.”

he nods firmly. “I want to debut. I want to perform, make lifelong friends, live the dream I’ve had for so long — make myself and my loved ones proud. I want it. yes, I’m interested in the opportunity. more than interested, like— really interested.” he laughs softly, but soon, his expression curls down into a gentle frown.

“but your other question, where I see myself positioned... that...” he grunts in frustration, running a hand through his hair. “that’s something I’m unsure of.”

his brain knows that rappers being so far and few between at sphere should make this a no-brainer, and his heart knows that rap is always the position he’d dreamt for himself, but as expected, he’s scared — scared of a lot of things, but mostly himself.

“I think the logical answer is to say some form of rapper, be it main or lead, and given that my desire for years has been to pave the way for idol rappers, to prove that you don’t have to have immersed yourself in the underground scene for years and write diss tracks about your friends in order to be respected as a rapper— it should be an obvious choice.” he looks thoughtful for a moment, but he doesn’t give his coach enough time to reply should he want to. he isn’t done vomiting out his thoughts just yet. ( maybe this will be a downfall for him; give baek jiyoung enough reasons not to debut him, but he thinks it’s better to be completely honest, especially concerning the rest of his life — his dream. ) “but I don’t think it’s fair of me to put that pressure or judgement on the team. I don’t know what the right answer is. I don’t want to not rap, but I don’t want to be a hindrance either. still, I think it’s the realistic choice if I’m to be given a specific role. I don’t think I would be a wise choice as a lead or main vocalist over most of the other trainees. as for dance, I really— please don’t place me as anything with the word ‘dance’ in.” he chuckles, cheeks tinted pink. “I think— realistically, I would be best placed as a main or lead rapper in the absence of a more obvious choice, or a filler member— and that’s— th-that’s not me just... doubting my abilities. it’s me accepting that I can harmonise, so I would be really useful for backing vocals. it’s me accepting that I don’t stand out against focused vocalists, but am still a strong singer, so would handle things like pre-choruses well, to lead into the main and lead vocalists.”

he hums delicately, smiling as he thinks over his decision. it feels right to him to say it— to admit that he has never had this competitive drive he thinks a lot of trainees likely have. it feels right to admit that he’s a lot more committed than he thinks is expected of him without that dedication and desire to debut overtaking him and making him a glass house just waiting to be smashed. yes, he complains to himself a lot when he has to do things he doesn’t want to do, but he likes to think that that will all change when there’s more to it than just making it to the next month of the same routine— when it’s part of the dream he’s wanted for so long.

“and you mentioned leader, too, and I don’t know if that’s just— like a blanket suggestion sphere is giving to everyone, but I think— I think I’m yet again, not the obvious choice and if there is to be one, that you should pick him, but that... if no one else wanted it, if everyone else was really opposed, then I’d love to learn on the job.” sure, he’s not the most confident public speaker right now, or the most charismatic, but he’s never doubted his natural care, his desire to take care of the people around him and listen to their concerns. soft. he supposes the word he should really be using is soft, but maybe he can learn the rest. perhaps he can grow more easily than he expects into whatever position sphere deems best for him, no matter what he’s spent the last ten minutes explaining. “I think I have the gentleness to be a leader behind the scenes, but I would need assistance to become a good leader in the public eye. but again, that’s sphere’s decision to make, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

he sucks in a deep breath, realises how much he’s said since he sat down, how honest he’s been ( far more than he ever has with anyone at sphere, his fellow trainees and coaches alike ) and he smiles. even if he doesn’t get this, even if baek jiyoung changes her mind, he’s proud of himself. this time last year, he would never have said he’d be contemplating debuting three hundred and sixty five days later, but now that he is, he’s grateful for the journey he’s been on and will continue to follow with sphere. he’s grateful for the man they’ll surely continue to shape him into in time, and above all, he’s grateful for them believing in him even when he didn’t.

( yet, as he leaves the room with the weight finally off his shoulders, he thinks nothing will beat how grateful he’ll be for a smooth night’s sleep now his decision has been finalised. )

( a lie, he realises later, because he lies wide awake in bed thinking about the incredible things that may await him in the future and he’s too excited to sleep instead, and with a quiet laugh he decides he doesn’t mind a bit. I’m going to make them all proud. I’m going to make myself proud. I’m going to be the best version of myself that I possibly can.

just watch. )

#rksdcasting #cheol;sphere #cheol;solo #sph;debut #( wc; 2097 )#( yes that's a star wars quote title; would it be an important cheol solo if it wasn't )#( i wrote this last night but i wanted to be more awake for proofreading sO )

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rktaeyong · 7 years

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┋ chrysalis.

As soon as the casting notice is posted on the morning of the 20th, the news spreads like wildfire around the company. The whispers of “Baek Jiyoung CEO is debuting a new group!”spreads from one person to another, trainees and coaches alike, until there’s barely a soul who hasn’t heard what Sphere Entertainment plans to do before lunch break ends. Rumors abound about the concept, quickly exaggerated and easily argued over, until Park Heungsoo, one of the company’s vocal coaches, calls for attention in the middle of the bustling cafeteria. Once the room is quiet, he informs the group that all male trainees are to be called out by their trainers individually beginning after the lunch period. “Attendance for these meetings are mandatory,” he emphasizes loudly. “As they concern your future with the company, I advise you not to be late.”

True to his word, Park Heungsoo calls you to his office several hours later. Seated behind his desk, he greets you by name when you arrive and offers up a small smile. “As you might’ve already heard, our illustrious CEO intends to put together a new idol group. Luckily for you, you’ve already caught her eye as a possible member for it.” The trainer reaches for a paper on his desk which happens to be your company profile. He reads over the listed information with a critical eye before switching his attention back to you. “My question to you, Taeyong, is whether you’re interested in this opportunity and, if you are, where it is that you see yourself positioned in this group. Main singer? Or perhaps as a lead vocalist, or even as a dancer? Maybe even the leader?” Heungsoo places the paper aside, staring at you intently. “If you are interested in being in this group, know that I will immediately arrange to place you in a special training regimen to prepare you for the demands of this group. This may mean dancing lessons if you are lacking in that, or even singing lessons if I also want you to improve in that area.” Leaning back against his chair, Heungsoo nods towards the door. “Think over this proposition carefully and get back to me with an answer by the end of the week. You may go.”

for the past three months, taeyong has been thinking.

thinking about his future, his interpersonal relationships, his abilities as a dancer, as a performer – as a newfound singer. thinking about how his life has taken this wonderful and most welcomed turn from the monotony of retail life, how his life has taken to a different sort of rut – but in this rut, he feels more safe, more secure. he knows that at any moment’s notice, he could be dropped from the agency for the slightest slip-up. he knows that he could be stuck in the trainee dungeon for years on end with absolutely no hope for debut.

he knows that this is a risk. he knew since he signed his name on the dotted line.

he didn’t – rather, doesn’t – want to turn out like that. wasting his young life with empty promises, no definitive plans. he needed to know what life has in store for him, and to be only given uncertainty is mind-numbing.

that being said, he knows that he hasn’t been completely accustomed to this lifestyle. he knows that there are people within the company walls that deserve this opportunity. being a trainee for years is something that he’s not familiar with. but he knows people who fall under these circumstances – hong jonghyun has been quite honestly the face of sphere trainees. the sunbae of all sunbaes. the cream of the crop. if anyone deserves to debut, it’s him in taeyong’s opinion.

luna is another person whose talents deserve to go noticed by adoring fans all over the world – leadership, headstrong, fiercely true to herself. taeyong had respected her decision not to go onto royal survival – he knows that either her loyalty is with sphere or the people at sphere. he’s learned that they are two completely different things, especially from her.

in all honesty, taeyong thinks that every single one of his fellow sphere family trainees – all sunbaes, he adds – deserves this chance. they deserve to see the limelight.

but he didn’t – doesn’t – actually think of himself ready enough for this opportunity.

he’d been completely silent, completely obedient as he’s brought in for this special meeting. his heart drops when he hears that he basically just has to give a vocal confirmation by the end of the week for all the spoils of debuting. his mind races – why was he given this opportunity? of course, baek jiyoung sees some light in him that no one else saw. she had brought him under her wing when no one else wouldn’t, three months ago.

but that was the root of another problem – three months. three months is all his record can say for him. perhaps the idea of seniority over talent ghosted over him like a specter. he remembers hearing the words new idol group come straight from park heungsoo’s mouth. you’ve already caught her eye as a possible member.

he’s terrified.

immediately after, he remembers texting all of his friends for their opinions, for their own insight, for desperate advice – wondering whether or not they caught word of the audition to this group. he thought about jaehyun’s smile on that stage – how big and beaming it would be. how happy this would make him. he thought about ten, how much of an amazing dancer ( more so than he is, taeyong thinks ) he is and the horizons this would bring him. how much this would help with his self-confidence – to finally have him realize himself. he thought of johnny, and how, even though he’s not particularly fond of this lifestyle himself, his smile would go from ear to ear just to see all his friends out on stage. how he’s always been the silent but strong and level-headed supporter of everyone.

most of all, he thought of yuta. his opinion on yuta is unwavering – he loves him, with all his heart, and taeyong’s been the happiest he’s been in such a long time now that they’ve finally found each other again. yuta’s confidence is staggering, and his talents can shine a super bright light on every single black hole in the universe. if anyone deserves this opportunity, it’s him – it’s always been him. but taeyong realizes that sphere just isn’t in yuta’s cards – and while he’s disappointed, he’s absolutely sure that trc is his destiny. he doesn’t want to get in the way of that path – he wouldn’t let the love of his life make that mistake.

they all said the same thing – do it. do it because this is the opportunity of a lifetime. do it because you have the talents to back yourself up. do it because baek jiyoung herself saw something that deserved to be showcased.

for a while, taeyong’s unsure. he’s crossing the tight line of accepting and otherwise. experience on one hand, debuting in the other. seems like a trivial comparison, but to taeyong, it’s everything. his whole life depends on his decision now. he doesn’t know if he can wait for probably years for another opportunity, but he also doesn’t know whether or not he himself he’s ready for this.

he does some thinking. more thinking. how far he’s already come. how he has so much more to experience. how he has so many more items of business on his checklist. how much he loves everybody in his life and how much they care for him. how they see the flame within him when he himself can’t. how it all comes down to this –

“hello. i’ve done some thinking and… i... i definitely would like to be a part of this idol group, as one of the lead vocalists but mainly as a main dancer. if that’s okay. i just... want to thank you for such a wonderful opportunity. i won’t let anyone down, i promise. i plan to be as diligent and hard-working so you’ll all not regret this decision.”

he decides that it’s time for him to grow up. it’s time to suck it up, and take more risks. it’s time to for him to live instead of exist.

#& SOLO ;#& SPHERE ;#rkhongjonghyun #rkluna #jaehyunrk #tenrk #rkjohnny #yutark #** tbh i would tag all of the sphere trainees #** b/c even if he hasn't officially meet everyone he's grateful for u okay #** THIS IS...... 993 WORDS #** did he do it??? read til the end to find out aksfjasf #** it also was supposed to be posted later but.. .. .. . i have school coming up so i wanted to get this out of thE WAY #submission #rksdcasting

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teamendlers-blog · 7 years

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Selena gomez porn video

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cr0wnjewels-blog · 7 years

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Hack Summoners War

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Thus, equally rounded it is important to determine whether them inside of your possession are very important plenty of to help keep, or maybe they'd keep working even better as magical (you won't ever have them back again - you merely have the outdoor patio as soon as). I've not had the opportunity to knowledge the whole set of races in the vicinity of i'd like, but from what i've encounter these do relatively in a different way with different skills, weak points, and methods. Also bottom define resources a gamer with all of that they ought to take part in the tool. All at once, acquiring more charge cards mean that you would probably almost certainly take a longer period going in reverse and forwards eradicating insignificant minions somewhat of focusing on then the other person's summoner. tool, and that also i really anticipate to actively playing the sport quite a lot the majority watching what choices are to be found amid all of the different races, expansions, and so forth .. |The good thing is the races in your master define don't come in almost every other style, if you buy any expansions, you will understand you happen to be not experiencing replicated charge cards. trainers like summoner wars give it time to be simple to comprehend why outdoor patio-constructing trainers do wonderfully relating to this new medium sized, mostly considering the mounting popularity of asynchronous multi-gamer tool play around. This component converts to be honest towards the ios mode of the sport. The simply turn pattern and flow of play around can be quite a tad challenging to knowledge initially, but gratefully summoner wars posseses an ideal and exceedingly informative tutorial to steer inexperienced persons having the levels. Cut & deal considering the large makeup of tool play around featured summoner wars, the price tag on all factions and reinforcements (~$15.00) is incredibly competitive. So help me look for a professional tool to begin the process my Cheers tom vasel described as summoner wars “absolutely fantastic” and “one of our most beneficial trainers of 2009“. |(without a doubt, you've my consent to venture to & repeat this straight now… just be sure that you return at this site when you find yourself final or i’ll really should try to give the eater to fetch you.) here’s the part whereby i genuinely disclose why i did so not have a basic selection of summoner wars back again before the keep working small amount of events of 2010: i finally had increased trainers income, considering the the holiday season generosity of loved ones & mates. my compliment out from the pack extends to this area insert - there's room or living area not merely for your 6 faction decks included in your pack but likewise slot machines for four a lot of decks.

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