#with ff14 n. when we were 14 y/o. & then 14 x 2 is 28. we were born on the 28th. 14 / 2 is 7. we were born sometime 7 in the morning

[noxtivagus]

SEMBREAK 🫶🏼 gna be productive hehe

#🌙.rambles #random thought first but i love how 14 is basically apollo n i's lucky number >< #with ff14 n. when we were 14 y/o. & then 14 x 2 is 28. we were born on the 28th. 14 / 2 is 7. we were born sometime 7 in the morning #& 7 is the perfect number. you see. apollo when you're w me life is perfect 🥺 #oh my god thinking abt it n i'm really grateful to have a twin. it means so much to be so be so comfortable n at peace with another #nyways i'm gna try to do what i can #i still feel v lost and confused. as usual honestly. as is my wont #but i love my curiosity. the way i question things. my desire to learn of everything #there's sm i have to do n i have regrets but #now i think. for this. it's still not too late to do what i can #there's always more to learn. n i'll do my best as to not make the same mistake as before #oh dear i keep on switching from different contexts but that makes it more interesting w the confusion here tho ig c: #it's not like. when i turn a year older. things r gna automatically change #but the idea of that milestone of that new number scared me rn i think. but it's not like. no. i can hold unto my youth #w/o any impending tasks to do rn w school placing a burden on me. i think i can actually rest now #not entirely from my mind but. without that pressure i'll definitely manage better n be more lenient n patient w my time #3 more days though ofc i'm anxious ;w;; #but i'll try to do what i can. even if it's not enough for me. even if that hurts. even if i'm not enough #maybe. maybe for someone else out there i am already worthy of. being proud of? maybe i have genuinely helped. even a bit #if i can be like that to others. if i can see others that way. then surely somewhere out there i too am the recipient of #similar love and care i give to others. right? even if i can only know for certainty within my own self. that's proof enough that it's real #n as long as it's real. living. then there'll always be hope. #not sure who'll read this but. a reminder to any other lonely soul out there #that said i'm gna try to yeah this break i wna fix my tumblr n a lot of stuff. sob goals i've had for so long #but that's alright. we have all the time in the world. no one but my own self is rushing me. i owe myself more patience #so i'll continue to try my best to just do what i can and be satisfied with that. i'm sorry if it's not enough. #but i'll try to not dwell on my regrets. i owe myself better than that. for all i've been through. you too. #& if i could just give back even a portion of all the kindness i've ever been given. i don't think i deserve it from you all but thank you #thank you nonetheless and. perhaps that would be enough comfort for me in this lonely world. a moment of respite from the pain. #& that could be enough. to hold unto what's important to me. to remember all that. ILL DO MY BEST