#why are the yts always so damn defensive...

[mortisoculo]

Kayden Nemoria: A Certain Perspective

Chapter One

He stooped inside of the large freighter, hands fumbling with the wiring inside of the hold. Repairing the short in the line that fed the repulsors. His dark brows furrowed in concentration.

 “Damnit!” He cursed loudly.

 “What is it?” Called Gor Vilwun. A native of Duros though he had not been home in a very long time.

 “Damn wires.” He mumbled in response.

 The sound of Gor’s footsteps sounding on the grates above him and echoing within the crammed hold. He could feel the man hovering above and behind him, large bulging eyes peering over his shoulder. Locked onto the wires that were bundled within his hands. Something cold and heavy tapping him in the shoulder. A tool he realized as his eyes darted to look at the object, his hand moving to grab at the piece, eyes shifting over it and frowning.

 “What the hell am I going to do with this?” He muttered.

 “Splice the wiring back together, once you finish that, take that wrench and give the generator a good smack or so.” He laughed, “That should do the trick.”  Kayden turned to look at the man, confusion clearly across his features. Watching as the dull beige jumpsuit lifted and scrunched at his shoulders, shrugging. “An initiation of sorts. The new crew always gets sent in to fiddle with this line.” His large bulbous head tilting and motioning back towards engineering, or rather the wall that it shared with the hold in the shambled YT-2400. “Usually we let you fester for a bit before we show you how to actually fix it…consider this a mercy.” A faint smile coming to his lipless mouth. Sea green skin wrinkling in the corners.

 “Thanks.” He mumbled, setting the large wrench down beside him, turning once again to look at the wiring and beginning to pull caps from a small container, gloved fingers twisting the wires back into the caps.

 “When you finish with that come to the lounge. You have a message.”

 Kayden rolled his eyes, knowing good and well who the message was from. Her constant pestering was beginning to really irritate him.  “Yes Sir.” He muttered with a slight huff.

 “She worries.” Gor said flatly.

 “Too much.” He said under his breath.

 “Can you really blame her? You’re all she has left.” He said moving to sit on the edge of the small service port, booted feet dangling over the edge, the flat of his boot playfully shoving him as he returned his focus to the wiring.

 “No, but sending a holovid every couple of days is too much.”

 Gor huffed a laugh, shaking his large head. “You’ve never been away from her this long. She misses you.”

 “I miss her too but, it’s getting a bit ridiculous.” He huffed. “I couldn’t stay on Chandrila forever….she knows that.” His head turning to look back at Gor, lips pinched at his admission.

 Gor’s head shaking once again, large eyes closing momentarily, “Why do you think she let you come with me? She knows that.”

 Gor Vilwun, longtime family friend, mentor and a father figure of sorts, though he came and went as he pleased. Always chasing something out in the galaxy, never lingering in one place for too long. “She’s been through a lot…your father and your sister….its been hard for her.”

 “I know Gor.” He whined.

 “Then be a little more respectful. Astrix has her reasons, let her send you messages and be grateful that she cares.”

 “Yes sir.” He mumbled.

 “Wrap this up.” Gor said motioning with his large finger pads. “Send your mother a message letting her know that you’re still alive.” He said sternly, moving to stand and peering down at him.  “We aren’t far from Ruonus.” He said as an afterthought.

 “What are we doing on Ruonus again?” He asked, tilting his head to look at the man as he towered over him.

 “Dropping off freight….what else?” Gor replied dryly.

 “Are we really dropping off freight or are we dropping off” Fingers breaking away from the wiring and making air quotes, “freight.”

 A wry smile coming across the Durosian male’s face, large square teeth exposed. “I guess we’ll find out once we get there.”

 He huffed and turned back to the wiring, completing his task.

 ****

 He walked into the lounge lazily, dreading viewing the message that awaited him. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to see her, no he was more than happy about seeing her, the problem was that he missed her and seeing her reminded him of that. A strange internal ache that never seemed to quite go away. Walking past the crew and smiling sheepishly as he passed, all of their eyes on him as he walked by.

 “Did you get it fixed Kayden?” called one of the crew, a big brute named Klax, a Besalisk with deep green skin, his four arms crossed over his chest and stomach.

 “Uhhh, yeah.” He called moving to the private holodeck that sat in a small nook.

 “Really?!” He bellowed.

 “Yeah, just put the wires back together.” He called back, turning his head to look at the large besalisk, his waddle expanding slightly, jutting red stripes down the sides stretching as he huffed.

 “The Captain told you huh?” He asked, shaking his large crested head.

 “Yeah.” Kayden admitted sheepishly.

 “Well, that certainly ruins the fun.” He muttered deeply.  

 Kayden shrugged and moved back to the holodeck, switching it on and scrolling through the messages, finding the encrypted message that his mother had left for him, head peering out of the small blocked nook and looking at his crew mates, ensuring that no one was paying attention to him. Taking a deep breath he turned back to the machine and clicked the vid.

 “Hello K!” She waved happily, her eyes crinkling in the corners, her long hair swept into a single braid that cascaded down her shoulder. “I hope you are doing well. Gor tells me that you’ve acclimated to the Barve already! I’m so proud of you!” Her facial expression faltered, smile turning sad suddenly, an expression that he knew very well. “Your father would be proud.” Her voice further hinting at the sadness that moved through her.

 He watched as she took a deep breath and looked down, eyes flicking upward once more, composure regained. “I know you’re about to move out further and that means I won’t be able to reach you.” She huffed a laugh. “I’m sure I’m annoying you with all these messages.”  Her fingers lacing in front of her face, her chin coming to rest on them. “I just worry and I want you to know that I love you.”

 She smiled, dimples puckering on her cheeks. “You’re gunna do great things K. I can feel it.” Her hand coming to her lips and waving a kiss at him. “Love you son!”

 The vid closed, leaving him staring at the empty space where her projection was only seconds ago. A smile on his lips. His hand moving to the machine and preparing to send her a reply.

 “Hey mom! I’m okay. Gor has been showing me the ropes along with the other crew. Everything is fine here.” He paused and sighed. “I miss you. I hope you’re okay.” He straightened, shifting restlessly.  “I’ll send you another message once we get back from Ruonus.” He turned his head and looked around, wanting to be sure no one was near enough to see him do what he was about to do. The coast was clear, lifting his hand and pressing his lips to the hand, pressing it to the camera. “Love you. Talk soon.”

 His hand moved to turn off the camera, allowing the machine to encrypt the message and hitting send once it was prepared. Hoping that it would make it to her before they hit the dead zone.  

 “She really misses you huh?” The female voice sounded softly behind him, startling him. His head wiping around to look at the pink skinned face of Letha, her navy hair pulled into a tight pony, the beige jumpsuit did her no justice. His dark brows furrowed, not too keen on her eavesdropping. Her skin flashed a slightly darker shade, hands coming up defensively. “Oh no, I’m sorry…I wasn’t trying to listen in!” She shook her head. “I was coming to work on the holocamera.” She mumbled.

 Kayden could feel his cheeks growing hot, forgetting that the Zeltronian woman had those bizarre empathic abilities that made him simultaneously annoyed and wowed.  “It’s fine.” He grumbled, huffing loudly. “And yeah- she really misses me.”

 Her brows lifting on her head as a smile spread across her face. Pretty, very pretty, too bad he wasn’t sure if it was the pheromones that their kind naturally put off or if she really was that pretty. “You miss her too.” She said, beginning to fiddle with the hydrospanner that was clipped to her belt.

 “Yeah.” He said weakly.

 She beamed at him. “Don’t worry Kayden! You’ll get to see her once we get out of the dead zone!”

 Sometimes he really hated her chipper attitude. But he couldn’t help but to smile back at her. “Thanks.” He mumbled. Watching as she nodded enthusiastically.

 “Of course!” She chirped. “Now, excuse me…I really need to get to the holocam.” She smiled, waiting patiently for him to move out of her way and allow her to work.

 Muttering an apology he moved away from the cubby, and back out into the crew lounge, coming to sit next to Klax, who shifted to allow him more room on the bench, arms helping to pull him around the table and the poorly patched cushions.

 A large three fingered hand coming to clasp Kayden on the shoulder, shaking him from the sheer weight of the limb. “Why the glum look?” The large brute asked, his toadish face showing a tight lipped smile.

“Nothing.” He mumbled, not entirely sure why he was so bummed. Had he really been missing her that much?

 “Will you two shut up.” Grumbled the male Cathar who up until now had been dozing peacefully on the other side of the booth, great clawed hands wrapped around his forearms which were held tightly to his chest. The single remaining golden eye peering at both Kayden and Klax in annoyance.

 “Oh go back to sleep.” Grumbled Klax, great waddle expanding in a huff.

 “I would still be asleep if you would shut your trap.” He growled, muttering a few slurs in catharese at the besalisk, which Kayden did not understand but Klax seemed to know fairly well. His head turning to watch the great waddle swell angrily, red flashing stretching brightly across the now taunt skin.

 “You take that back you over grown house cat!” He bellowed loudly, two of his four fists crashing down on the table top. “I will eat you whole you runt!”  

 Kayden began scooting out of the booth, only to be stopped by the familiar hand of Klax. His head turning to look at the man.

 “GO BACK TO YOUR POND YOU TADPOLE!”   Rolling the ‘r’s in his words, the black locs that made his mane shaking as he roared.

 “WE DON’T COME FROM PONDS YOU HAIRBALL!”

 “You two stop your bickering!” Came a firm female voice, moving from the doorway of the workshop and into the lounge. Her red skin striking in the dull jumpsuit, four lekku twitching in agitation. “I step away for one nanosecond and you two start fighting.” She grumbled, her eyes moving to look at both of them, slowly shifting to consider Kayden, who wanted nothing more than to fade into the bench. Zi scared him. “Kayden, the Captain wishes to see you in the cockpit.” A sneer moving to her lips as she looked at the cathar male, “You need to go sleep in the bunks, stop napping in here!” She spoke, pointing a thin finger at the male, who only huffed, rolling his remaining eye. Her scathing glare moving to Klax next, who had all four hands up in a defensive position, preparing for the words that were about to leave her mouth. “And don’t you have things to work on in the hold?!” Her lips pinching.

 “Oh come on Zi, we were just trying to take a break. Haven’t I moved enough freight today?”

 She scowled, eyes narrowing, “Get your big ass up and get back to work.” Eyes shifting back to Kayden, “Didn’t I tell you to go see the captain?”

 He slinked out of the booth quickly, nodding his head as he passed her, mumbling a “Yes ma’am.” His lean legs moving as quickly as possible to the cockpit and away from the wrath of the Twi’lek woman. The sound of her yelling still audible as the door that connected the work shop to the lounge closed, moving through the airlock and down the hall to the cockpit, looking in to see Gor lounging in the captain’s chair. “Captain?” He asked.

 “Is Zi still yelling?” He asked with a slight laugh.

 “Yeah.” He sighed.

 “I love that woman.” He laughed. Straightening himself and turning to look at Kayden, patting the co-pilot’s chair, urging him to sit. “Did you send your mom a reply?” He asked.

 “Yes.”

 “Good.” He sighed. “Alright so there are some things you need to know about Ruonus.”

 ****

 He wasn’t sure what to expect when they landed. He had only been told so much, like the people native to Ruonus were called Krysa. Burrowers, though within the past few centuries they had actively been moving above ground, though a large amount of their homes still remained below the rolling red grassed hills. Gor had described them as rat-like, big round eyes, strong legs, and prideful sensibility.

 “They’re friendly for the most part.” He said. “Honest to a fault. We’re going to see a friend of mine, he’s got a job for us. Gunna be dropping off some goodies.”

 “Is he a Krysa?” Kayden asked, he had never heard of the species before, but there was a lot about the galaxy that he still did not know.

 “No, he’s a human, an old friend from the good ol’ days.”  A smile coming to his lipless mouth.

 “Like…during the war?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Oh…what exactly are we unloading?”

“Speeders.”

“Wait…the ones we just picked up that we owe Krish Vog?”

“Yup. Those.”

“For what?”

“Battle.”

He felt his face grow hot. “Fuck.”

“Watch your mouth.” He said, sending a smack to his arm. “But yeah…exactly.”

Kayden rubbed where his hand had hit, a scowl on his face. “Is that why Zi is so uppity?”

“Absolutely.” He laughed, throaty and long. “She wants to stay out of it, but I owe a favor.”

“And that includes risking all of our lives for this favor?”

“Kid, we’re risking our lives every day we live, might as well do something worthwhile.”

He furrowed his brows, unsure how to feel about the situation, should he be more worried than he was? “So what will we be doing exactly?”

“Dropping the speeders and getting the kark off of planet side.”

“You didn’t tell mom did you?” His eyes suddenly growing wide.

“Are you kidding me?! I don’t have a death wish!”

Kayden leaned back into the chair with a loud sigh, huffing the air through his lips. “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“So that’s why you wanted me to send her a message…just in case-” The realization suddenly hitting him.

“We’re not gunna die kid.”

“She’s gunna be miffed when she finds out.” Kayden grumbled, a smirk coming to his lips, the idea of Gor getting yelled at by his mother was becoming a very alluring idea.

“Who said she needs to know.” Gor smiled at him, Kayden only shook his head. His mother always had a way of finding out things, a power he assumed all mothers and Zi managed to have.

“So in and out.”

“Like thieves in the night.”

“What made you decide now was the time to repay this debt?”

“The enemy.”

“What about them?”

“Let’s just say there’s been some whisperings in the galaxy about certain powers playing copy-cat.”

“So…it’s true?”

“Yes.”

Kayden blinked in disbelief. Hands coming to rub at his face. Things were just getting better and better.

 ****

 It was chaos. People running back and forth through the small town, mud built buildings, buried within the hills, streets rocky with red clay, puddles of water, recent rain fall causing the clay to become sticky, gripping onto booted feet and the strange paws of the Krysa alike.

Squat beings, fleshy with strange patches of hair, skins dappled with colored patches ranging in a variety of colors. Others strikingly solid, large red eyes that peered out over their slight snouts. Whiskered mouths and loose clothing, wraps laced around legs and chests. A cloud of nervous and anxious energy hung over the small town. Palpable.

He stepped off of the ramp, eyes peering around him, taking in the hustle and bustle. Gor and Zi arguing behind him. She still wasn’t happy with Gor’s plan, especially the part where they willing gave up the cargo that was promised to a contracted job. She kept harping on the fact that this would only tarnish their reputation, that it would be harder to find good jobs after this. Gor continued to shrug off her worries as he followed shortly behind Kayden.

“It’s going to be fine Zi, a setback, but we can afford it.”

“Krish is not going to be as understanding as you think!” She said heatedly, lakku twitching angrily, which seemed to be the only emotion that they knew how to emote as of late. Kayden tried to stay out of her line of sight as much as possible.

A human male approached, haggard, covered in red clay, face muddied, clothing singed in places, blaster fire. He wore a smile, large and excited, arms opening wide, “Gor! Good to see you pal!” He hailed, clasping his arms around Gor’s willowy frame and hugging him tightly.

Gor snorted a chuckle, “Ayden! Good to see you in one piece!”

“Yeah well, the bucket heads haven’t been making it easy. We just took back this town two days ago.” He laughed deeply, releasing Gor from his grip and running a dirty hand through unwashed graying hair.

Gor nodded looking around, “Good job, though I thought you were out of the business of rescuing planets.”

The man named Ayden shrugged, a smirk coming to his lips. “What can I say, once a rebel always a rebel.”

“Old habits do die hard.” Gor chuckled. “Though I was surprised to hear that the Resistance was all the way out here, you guys are a long way from New Republic space.” He mused, buggy eyes shifting slightly.

“It was pure luck really. We heard the distress call and made our way here. Didn’t even know that these guys knew about the Resistance.” He said, gesturing with a thumb behind him.

“I didn’t think anyone knew about the Resistance. You guys are still rather small…surprised the Princess decided to bring herself back into the fold.” He mused.

“Yeah well you know her, always looking out for the little guy.” He huffed a laugh, “I think she missed it. Sitting in the senate on her ass day in and day out. I think she’s been itching for some action.

“Boss, you ready to unload these bad boys?” Klax called from the hold, Iru standing behind him, hovering in the framework of the ship, arms cross over his chest. Gor turning to regard the besalisk, turning to look back at Ayden.

“You ready for my payment?” He asked with a slight smirk, humor in his tone.

“Always.” Ayden smiled with a nod. “Bout time you paid me back for saving your skin.”

“May be a little late on the payment, but I always pay back with interest.”

Kayden moved up the ramp and away from the two men, halting as he heard his name called, turning to look back at Gor and Ayden, Gor flagging him, beckoning him to come back. He sighed and walked down the ramp, standing next to Gor, who was good head taller than him.

“He’s short.” Ayden mused.

“Takes after his mother on that one.” Gor replied with a smile, large square teeth beaming brightly.

“How is Astrix?” He asked.

“Good, ready for her boy to come home.” He huffed a laugh.

Kayden stood tight lipped, waiting for the two old timers to finish their bantering. “Captain?” He asked impatiently.

“Ayden this is Kayden, Kayden this is Captain Ayden Halburk. Your father and I served some time with him during the war.” Gor smiled.

“He looks like him, that’s for sure.” Ayden smiled. Reaching a hand out for Kayden to shake. Kayden shook it hesitantly, the man’s grip firm as he shook it.  “I was sorry to hear about your dad kid, he was a damn good pilot.”

“He died before I was born, nothing to be sorry about.” He muttered with a slight shrug.

“Doesn’t change how I feel about it, I’m sorry you never got to meet him. I’ll have to tell you a story about the time I saved his ass from exploding on Coruscant sometime.” He laughed.

Kayden could only nod, he had no real feelings about his father. He had only heard stories about him from his mother, just another blank figure he was supposed to feel attachment to. Just like his sister, phantoms that haunted his mother. Shrouded in mystery, ghost stories.

“Gor! Let’s get these speeders off of this damn ship and get off of this rock.” Zi called impatiently from the hold, hands planted on her hips and foot tapping.

“Well I see Zi hasn’t changed.” Ayden muttered.

Gor waved her off, “Gotta love her though.” He laughed. “This life is going to send her to an early grave with as much as she stresses out about everything.”

Ayden waved at Zi, “Uaziwzicos! Good to see you’re as beautiful as ever!” He called to her.

She gestured at him rudely with her hand, “Still can’t say it right you sack of shit!” She called back, a faint smile on her lips.

“I think I’m in love with her.” Muttered Ayden through tight lips. Kayden rolled his eyes and walked with the two back into the hold, where Klax and Iru were moving the speeders with the lift. “She’s still a piece of shit huh?” Laughed Ayden, eyes moving around the junky cluttered interior of the Barve.

“She’s the best piece of shit you’ve ever had the privilege to lay your eyes on.” Laughed Gor.

Kayden moved away from the two as they continued to talk, moving to assist Klax and Iru and only finding that he was in the way, which Iru was all too eager to let him know. He moved over to the side, not wanting to stand next to Zi, but having no other option, he stood next to her as she muttered under her breath, tapping on the holopad in her hand. He only hoped that he would go unnoticed.

“What are you just standing around for?” She hissed, her dark eyes moving to glare at him.

“Iru said I was in the way.” He mumbled.

“Go get Letha and both of you start taxiing the speeders off the ship.” She sighed, shooing him with a lekku.

 ****

 When all the speeders had been taken from the hold of the ship and moved into a small field near the edge of the town, Kayden finally took a moment to appreciate the strange terrain of the planet. Grass as red as blood, dark rust colored mud structures jutting up from the earth, muddied path ways full of sticky red clay, the Krysa moving about in preparation. Gor, Ayden and Zi stood speaking to a Krysa elder. Iru and Klax off gathering supplies and taking inventory of weaponry. Leaving Letha and Kayden to stay with the ship which sat off to the side of the town, near the edge of a gorge where the sound of rushing water could be heard.

His eyes shifted and peered out across the wide gap, looking out into the distance and seeing only more rolling hills and swaying grass. He didn’t hear her moving behind him, her boot falls silent in the tall grass.

“What you doing?” Letha asked, her voice sweet and curious.

He turned to face her, her inky blue hair pulled into a messy bun, strands of the silky midnight falling loosely around her face and down her thin neck. “Just lookin’.” He mumbled.

“It’s pretty isn’t it?” She commented, standing directly beside him, her shoulder brushing into his side as she nudged him.

“Yeah.” He huffed a laugh, “It reminds me of the holovids my mom used to show me…before we came to Chandrila. There were fields of golden grass, some kinda crop I guess.” He smiled thinking of the vid, he could picture it perfectly in his head. The dancing golden blades, the blue sky above with fat fluffy clouds, a small figure running through the golden sea, laughter as she hid in the grass. His mother calling for her. His sister. His smile shifted into a pinched frown. Letha nudged him again.

“Hey, come on let’s go see what Gor and Zi are doing.” A bright smile on her face.

“Yeah okay.” He huffed, a smirk coming to his lips, her cheery disposition rubbing off on him.

They both moved towards their captain and terrifying first mate. The sound of booming laughter, grins across their faces, even the Krysa elder seemed to be in a good mood. Letha waved at them, Gor motioned for them to approach. Kayden smiled though he was not sure why, perhaps he was happy to see tha Zi was actually in a good mood for once. All agitation gone since she had exited the ship and mingled with the locals.

“Letha, K, this is Cipi, the Elder of this village.” Gor introduced.

Cipi, who was slightly haunched, gray and dappled with dark brown spots, ears that flopped down, and long whiskers, two front incisors that protruded crookedly from her upper lip, nodded. “Hello children.” She whistled slightly. “It’s always good to see youngsters in such a time as these.” Her large head bobbled up and down slightly. “Will you be joining us for the gathering tonight? There will be food to be shared and stories to be told.” She asked the group.

Zi nodded, “That sounds wonderful, we’ve been eating rations for the past few weeks, a home cooked meal sounds good.” Her voice cheery, foreign sounding to Kayden’s ears, she look genuinely happy. It was terrifying.

Cipi smiled, or it appeared to be a smile, it was hard to tell with the Krysa’s snubbed snouts if they were smiling or grimacing. Her whiskers twitched. “Wonderful, I must get back to preparations,” Her gnarled paw reached out and patted Gor’s, “Thank you again, for coming all this way, for giving us a chance.”

Gor smiled wide, square teeth shining in the dimming light, “It’s what we do!”

Cipi nodded at everyone and hobbled off, back into the heart of the town. Ayden, smiled and nodded. “They’re good people.” His expression growing darker as he spoke, “They don’t deserve this,” Huffing loudly, “The First Order, those monsters. How could they do this to anyone?”

Gor shrugged, “How did the Empire do it for so long?” shaking his head, “They crave power, and we mustn’t give it to them.

“Never.” Nodded Ayden.

 ****

 Zi had insisted that they all wash up before the communal feast, ensuring that each of them put on a fresh jumpsuit. Gor complained that his suit was fine and that there was hardly a speck on the blasted thing, to which Zi calmly pointed out several stains, a smug look on her face as Gor sighed in defeat. Sometime Kayden didn’t really understand why Gor still tried to argue with her, she was usually always right and even in the rare occasion that she wasn’t, she usually ended up bullying them into going her way.

Kayden on the other hand didn’t even protest when she had instructed him to go to the sonic and get cleaned up as she shoved a fresh suit into his hands. He squeaked out a yes ma’am and ducked towards the shower once Letha exited in her own fresh jumpsuit. Pausing to watch as she bunched the strands of deep midnight, gathering them and bundling them a top of her head once again, a smile coming to her lips, dark eyes peeking through her thick lashes at him. Kayden blushed, having been caught staring at the pink fleshed woman and moved past her quickly into the small closet that housed the sonic shower. Stripping quickly and tossing his clothing to the floor, setting the new jumpsuit to the side and stepping into the shower, setting the cycle for a through clean. The rapid vibration causing any dirt to fall from his body. Once the cycle completed he exited and dressed.

Letha sat waiting in the hold with Klax who was testing a few capacitors, taking a great risk in possibly getting his jumpsuit dirty. “K, what do you think of Captain Ayden?” He grumbled, fiddling with the metal cylinder, turning it over in his stubby fingers and bringing it to his mouth, blowing into the machinery.

He shrugged, “He’s alright I guess.” Truthfully he hadn’t given the man much thought. Gor seemed to trust him, they had served in the Rebellion together, what was there to consider?

“He’s a good man.” Grunted Klax, the soft sound of Letha’s booted feet clanking onto the crate she sat on sounding through the hold. “To come here and help these people, that is markings of a good man if I’ve ever seen one.”

“I guess.” Kayden conceded, not sure what else to add to the conversation.

“KLAX I know you are not messing with those filthy capacitors in your clean jumpsuit!” Zi seethed, her eyes narrowing as she peeked around the doorway that lead into the hold.

He quickly sat the capacitor down, as softly as he could manage and shook his large head, his waddle shaking slightly. “No ma’am!’ He called back.

Letha covered her mouth as she giggled. “I told you she would find out.”

“That harpy. She’s got eyes everywhere.” He muttered to himself.

“I heard that!” Zi called as she left the doorway.

His shoulders bunched as he winced. Letha’s giggles only growing louder. Kayden smiled to himself, shaking his head. “I don’t know why you guys don’t just listen to her, she knows everything.” He said with good humor.

Klax turned away from the capacitors and wiped his hands on a scrap of old fabric. “Because, it’s always more fun when she’s slightly agitated, keeps her on her toes, she likes it you know…it’s like a game to her.” He huffed, gesturing towards the doorway where she had been peering from earlier.

Kayden shook his head, rolling his eyes slightly, “Where’s Iru?”

“Outside with Gor and Captain Ayden.” Letha gestured towards the open ramp, “We’re waiting for Zi and then we’ll go and eat.” 

Kayden moved past Letha, whose boots were still softly padding into the crate, he moved to the ramp and paused, Iru, Gor and Ayden were standing just off in the distance, their faces serious, discussing something. He moved down the ramp and walked over towards them, his pace slow, giving them a chance to end their conversation if they didn’t want him to be involved. Iru’s single golden eye shifting to look at him, his large arms crossed over his chest. He nodded at Kayden, ensuring him that was fine to approach.

“There’s been a lot of squawking over the waves, the First Order is preparing for another attack…if you want to believe our intel.” Ayden shrugged.

“Have you been in contact with the General?” Gor asked, rubbing his narrow chin.

“Not her, but some others, she’s a very busy woman these days.”

Gor snorted a laugh, “When was she ever not busy?”

“It’s only gotten worse, the attack on the Jedi Temple, Skywalker’s disappearance, her son…missing still. General Solo off doing….maker knows what.” He shook his head, rubbing his temples in frustration. “Got a bunch of new pilots, buncha damn kids…they’re good but cocky.” He shrugged, “We got lucky when I caught wind of this, they’ve been trying to get proof of the First Order’s existence since before the big reveal at the Senate….” He trailed.

“Can you believe it, Vader….her father.” Gor muttered.

“It doesn’t change anything.” Ayden said quickly. Gor nodding, Kayden moved to stand beside Gor, his hand coming to rest on Kayden’s shoulder.

“So, Senator Casterfo really was framed?” Iru grumbled.

“It’s what the General says, I believe her, she’s never lead us wrong before.” Ayden huffed.

Iru shook his head, lip twitching, “All of this was orchestrated by the First Order then?”

“It seems so, though we still don’t have solid proof.” Ayden conceded, light eyes shifting to look at Kayden, who had a look of confusion on his face, he was admittedly ignorant of the going ons of the galaxy, though he had seen the major media broadcasting about some bombings of the Senate and the assassination of a senator, and even still he was lost in the conversation. Never really taking the time to pay too much attention to any of it.

“The senate was always going to be corrupt.” Gor muttered. “Should just leave the planets to govern themselves.”

Ayden shrugged, “I’m not a Politian, just a guy who wants some peace and quiet and for everyone to be able to mind their own business. I’m getting too old for this shit.”

The three of them laughed, Kayden stood there in slight confusion. For someone who wanted some peace and quiet, Ayden seemed to have been more than eager to join back into the fray even when there was no solid evidence of there being a problem.

“Are all of you ready?” Zi’s voice rang, Kayden turned to look up the ramp, Klax and Letha standing behind Zi.

“Yes dear.” Gor said in good humor, causing Zi to roll her eyes as she moved down the ramp.

“Well let’s get going, Cipi probably could use some help.” She said shooing them with her hands. Gor’s slender fingers squeezing Kayden’s shoulder.

They moved to the center of the small town where a large gathering of Krysa were moving busily about, great heaps of food on earthen ware, stacked high and setting out onto woven blankets. Small Krysa children ran around underfoot, receiving chittering hisses from the adults who were moving the food they had brought from their own homes out into the center of the town. Kayden peered at the items on the plates, roasted roots, seeds and bugs and a strange lizard like creature that looked almost burnt to a crisp littered the plates. Zi and Leatha moved to aid the Krysa with their plates. Kayden peered around and saw more humans and other off worlders, who he assumed were Ayden’s crew, moving about the small town, blasters strapped to their sides and backs, covered in the red clay that made the path ways in the town.

“K, come here and help!” Letha called, startling Kayden out of his aimless peering. He jolted and moved to where Letha’s head tilted, Kalx bumped into him playfully, his large fingers clamping onto his shoulders and shaking him gently.

“You go in there, I’m too big.” He laughed, a hand pointing to the opening of one of the towering earthen structures that sunk below the ground. The opening just large enough for a full grown Krysa to move in and out. Klax shoved him towards the opening, and shooed him. “I’ll be right out here to grab the plates.”

He stepped into the structure, a soft glow of artificial light, and the smell of something burning. The floor was packed earth, damp, a Krysa stood at the stove, the nub tail moving slightly as he chittered to the other Krysa female who moved towards Kayden with a plate. “Uhm, I can take about four more.” He mumbled unsure if they understood him.

The female Krysa nodded and motioned for him to take another large earthen platter, the smell of something sweet filling his nose, as he carried both plates back up the small set of steps towards Klax, His eyes adjusting to the dimming light of the outside. Handing Kalx the two plates and turning to see both the male and female Krysa moving behind him, carrying their own platters and other items, two small children wrapped in a sling around each of their backs. Furry heads peeking up from the cloth as beady wide eyes blinked at him. He fought the urge to snatch them up and squeeze them to his chest, making their eyes pop out from their heads by squeezing them to death. Far too cute for their own good. 

He handed a plate to Klax and noticing that neither Kyrsa were going to hand him anymore plates, kept the sweet smelling dish in his hands. Inhaling the smell deeply, something about the smell familiar and resonating with him. Reminding him of home. He smiled to himself as he moved back towards the town center and placed his dish onto the many layered blankets, stretched out across the square to allow everyone to sit and eat. They female Krysa, gestured for him and Klax to sit, his eyes shifting to ensure that Zi wasn’t looking as he took a seat. Klax huffing as he moved his bulky form to sit next to him. Letha moved to squeeze in next to him, smiling as she sat. The Female and male Krysa moving off to do something else and then returning to take their places next to Letha, slinging their children around to sit in the front of their chests, chittering down at them and running their knobby fingers across their heads, combing down cowlicks and rubbing eye crusts from the corner of their large eyes gently.

“They’re so cute aren’t they!” Letha cooed excitedly, her slender hand reaching out to gesture at the young Krysa. The female clicked and squeaked at Letha, who seemed to grasp for the most part what the female was saying, her hands moving and reaching out to take one of the children. Holding the tiny fuzzed body close to her. A long tail moving to wrap around her arm.

He leaned over to Klax, “Why do the babies have long tails and the adults don’t?” He whispered, not wanting to be rude.

Klax turned his head and looked towards Letha who was making clicking noises at the small being in her hands. “They cut them off when they become adults.” He said rubbing at his waddle.

Kayden’s face scrunched in confusion. “Why?”

Klax shrugged. “Tradition I guess.”

The female Krysa squeaked and chittered at Kayden, who only looked on at her confused, Letha nodded beside him, and began to translate, “Kawani says that it’s to keep the Comedenti from grabbing them in battle.” She nodded and chittered back at Kawani, “That when the Krysa are of age, they must part with their childish cares and accept the dangers of the world. She says some choose to chop them off, those who want to be warriors do that to prove their bravery. Most just bind the tail until it falls from their body.”

“Sounds unpleasant.” Kayden mused.

“She says, the binding method is almost painless, the other is extremely painful and stupid.” Letha laughed Kawani nudged at her husband, who looked at her and shook his head, Kayden assumed the comment was directed at him.

“What are the Comedenti?” He asked, looking directly at Kawani’s dappled face, her ears twitching nervously. She did not have a chance to reply as all voices ceased to make noise, Leatha nodding towards the very end of the long line of Kyrsa and off worlders. Kayden focused his eyes on Cipi, who stood over the feast, her hand clutching onto her walking stick, a large metal shaft that had been wrapped with cloth and grass.

Her eyes blinked and her lips moved into what Kayden assumed was a smile. “Welcome all.” Her voice called strongly. “This feast is in celebration of life and in the honor of our friends who have been so kind as to lend a hand in a time of great need.” She gestured towards the off worlders as best as she could, many were scattered about sporadically between the Krysa.

“Thank you Captain Ayden and Captain Gor who has so kindly dropped a very expensive gift at our feet.” She paused to the sound of a chittering roar, hands moving to quiet down the cheering. “I will cease my talking, eat and enjoy yourselves during this brief rest. Tomorrow we begin our preparations and we ready ourselves for war.” A Krysa leant her a hand, allowing her to ease her frail body down into a sitting position. Once she sat, the passing of plates began.

Kayden took a bit of everything sent his way, never one to shy from strange food, he piled his own plate with the odd fair, chewing on things at random. Finding most of it delicious and a few things he didn’t really much care for, the dark crisped lizard things he learned to pass up on during their second rotation, finding them bitter and oddly slimy despite their charred exterior. Klax happily took them from Kayden’s plate, gobbling them up in a single bite. Letha did not eat anything that was once living, sticking to the vegetation and seeds, chewing them thoughtfully and looking to Kawani to see what was appropriate to feed the youngling that sat in her lap. Kayden listened to the chattering around him, off worlders and Krysa speaking amongst each other.

Letha nudged him with her elbow, “They are about to tell stories.” She whispered to him. “Kawani said that it’s custom to always start with the dark and then move to the light.”

Kayden nodded though he wasn’t sure why Letha felt the need to tell him, he could hear the quiet start to lull across the eating Krysa, the off worlders following as Cipi adjusted in her seat and cleared her throat.

“This is a tale that all Krysa are told, it is our beginning.” Her voice grave as she spoke, setting the mood for the story she was about to divulge. Kayden adjust in his seat, moving his legs and leaning forward, uncomfortably full from all the food. Kalx rubbed at his large belly next to him.

“We were the first to wake from the core of this world. Small, much smaller then than now. Our tails long and on four legs, we roamed the great grass. Bright green and lush at the beginning. We lived simple lives, finding community with each other in the damp earth and above.” She paused, large eyes searching around the large group.

“Until the rocks rained from the heavens, shifting our landscape, creating large hills and valleys in its wake. Waking the things that dwell within the darkness. They emerged from the shadows of the hills and out into the valleys. Moving on six legs, with six searing red eyes and teeth as sharp and jagged as the rocks that lie within the shallows of the great flowing river.”

“They knew no name or kindness and if they ever did we will never know. This is only a story passed from elders to people over time, perhaps maybe they were kind or served a purpose aside from the darkness that they bring. We will probably never know, at least not in my life time.” She huffed a slight laugh.

“But they came, with their sharp teeth, and their searching eyes and fast legs. And they killed and killed and killed. Consuming whole communities in a single night. Digging out or nests and eating everything in sight. Their hunger insatiable, it was not enough to eat us, but they consumed the roots and the seeds and the other creatures that no longer have names because they are long since gone.”

A child cried, the sound of shushing and then Cipi continued, “We called them Comedenti, and for a long time they hunted my people and all the living creatures on this side of the great flowing river.” She wrung her hands together, “And try as we might we could not keep them out, the smartest who survived long enough, learned to build from the red earth, constructing dwellings and learning to stand tall on two legs, to peer over the grass and search the darkness for the glowing red eyes. But they snatched us from the darkness, dragging us by tail and leg, ripping apart nests by burrowing deep within the earth. Nothing could keep them out, though we tried and battled them at every turn. Cutting off our own tails in order to survive, though it seemed even that would never be enough.”

“The sound of their yipping barking howls could be heard through the green grass, chasing the sun from the sky and casting their darkness upon us. We knew it would not be long until they finally caught up with her rays and ate her from the sky, leaving nothing but darkness and death. Nothing to stop them from consuming everything any longer.”

Her lips spread and her eyes glittered brightly, “And just when we had given up and were about to succumb to our fate, the off worlders came. Their metal ships landing in the now red grass that sprouted from the blood that bathed the earth, and they did not understand us, but they were kind and gentle. And when the first night fell since their arrival the Comedenti came and we cowered in our homes, taking with us the off worlders, who did not understand the danger, not yet. But they had things that we did not have. Technology. Blasters.”

A chittering cheer came from the gathering. Cipi allowed them to cheer, closing her eyes and nodding, “Yes!” She yelled over the noise, “Yes, and when the Comedenti came to breach into our homes and steal our young by their tails, and to get their fill, the off worlders saw and they defended us from the Sun Swallowers. From their great maws and red glowing eyes. They killed them with their technology, using the light of their blasters to kill the scourge.”

Cheering once again filled the town, all the Krysa full of joy at the turn in the story. “And the off worlders, in their kindness helped the Krysa, driving the beasts towards the great flowing river and forcing their pack to the other side. How they cowered and cried from the other side of the gorge. We celebrated our victory, just as we are celebrating today. And when the off worlders left, they gave us the gift of blasters in exchange for bits of rocks from the core of our planet. And they returned with more blasters, enough for every town of the Krysa, and soon the Comedenti were all pushed onto the other side of the great flowing river. Too frightened to return.”

Another roll of cheering erupted, Cipi nodding her head, her hand raising to halt the cheering, “But that is not to say that they would not ever return.” Her face grew grim, “We must stay vigilant, especially in these dire times. The First Order comes and with them they bring a familiar darkness…and we all know….darkness follows darkness.”

“We must not grow complacent, to become so, after all the trials we have faced and the gifts we have been given…it would be our death.” She paused allowing the effects of her words to sink in, “The Sun Swallowers and the darkness that follows them, they are patient creatures, and even to this day they can be found wondering the red sea on the other side of the great flowing river. You have heard their cries, and some of you have even been foolish enough to cross the river to see them for yourselves. Those who have returned vowed to never go back. They are not myths or legends, they are very real, just as real as the evils out in the greater galaxy. And I fear, that with all of the spilt blood and destruction that the First Order has brought with them, that they will return soon enough and nothing will stop them.”

The sound of murmuring moved through the gathering, this was not a part of the story Kayden gathered, “We must defeat the First Order and prevent them from luring the Comdenti across the river. If we fail, even if we are enslaved and forced to mine our planet of its precious core, we will not die by the hand of the First Order and their cruel ways, no we will fall by the teeth that come in the night, and so too will they. They will swallow the sun from the sky and nothing will be left but darkness and death. A great evil will be unleashed upon this planet once more, and who’s to say what will follow in their wake.”

Kayden shivered as the murmuring began again, Cipi ceased her speaking and allowed the feast to continue. Giving her a break from storytelling for the moment. He peered around nervously, as if a Comedenti would pop up from the darkness that surrounded the small town. Letha chuckled and nudged him, “Kawani said not to worry, they have not seen a Comedenti this side of the river in many generations. They fear the blasters too much to journey across.”

“It’s not that, it’s just what she said about the First Order, darkness follows darkness.” He muttered, dark brows furrowing tightly, “It reminds me of something.” Letha looked at him, urging him to continue, he shook his head. He would not speak it. He could not. The story scared him still. His mind moved back to the memory of the holovid, his sister running through the tall golden grass, swallowed by it as she laughed. The sound of his mother calling out to her, her small voice calling back.

The things in the darkness had gotten her too.

tags: @weakheartedtrash

Notes: If you want to be tagged, please let me know! I’m sorry this is such a huge chapter, I don’t know how to write small chapters?

#for the damaged fic #KN:ACP #Mortis writes

[fictionfromgames]

Egress (SWSE)

"Check again," Essow frowned, "Onomiri Pathfinder, we have a Commonwealth marque."

"Ma'am, that's not the problem," the docking personnel responded, "I'm saying due to the unrest, you have to go back to the surface."

"Understood," she snapped the holo off. "Mhi, tell the others to strap in, and get to your post."

"Essow, really?" the Mon Calamari's face fell.

"Yeah, really!" the human buckled in, "They're Force-hunters, I don't care if the Commonwealth is still standing at the end of the day, these GUF bastards are coming to get us and I'll fly through hell before I let them walk up and take me!"

Mhi jogged through the corridors down to the common area. The Jedi was speaking to the Mirialan girl, who just stared in shock. Considering their story, Mhi didn't blame her. Force-users never lacked for unimaginable excitement, and if they really had beaten down the GUF at a zoo, well, that'd be one for the HoloNet.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're gonna be um, flying fast," she explained, "You can stay here or in your bunks, but in either case, please buckle in."

"Essow's classic diplomacy," the Kaminoan smirked.

"Yeah, her's and mine, unfortunately," Mhi grumbled, "If you see droids rolling around, don't worry, they're just doing their jobs."

"Wait, are we breaking out of port?" the purple girl paled.

"Oh sweetie, keep your plausible deniability intact!" Mhi said as she jogged away.

She climbed down into the quad lasers, an add on that become iconic when a certain YT 1300 somehow survived everything that was thrown at it. That model had become a notorious high demand item, though no one managed the same kind of fame since.

Essow Brak made her fortunes on a 2400 that she'd hired Mhi Sombelwabb to refurbish. On a good day, .5 past lightspeed, just like that damn 1300. Quad lasers, just like That One, except bigger and less legal. The tear-down and rebuild was entirely based on concepts from the Falcon's-- turn a freighter into a fighter, and make sure she can run like hell when she needs to. The twelve and a half tons of hidden cargo space even helped them break even recently.

Mhi stayed on. A refit needed constant maintainence, and she managed to extend Essow's debt by being her gunner too. But it wasn't the money that kept her here. It was making sure her life's work made its mark on the galaxy.

The Onomiri lurched up, and Mhi dropped the quad lasers down, firing wildly until Essow had gotten out of the hangar. The scale and speed made trying to hit the point-defense systems inside pointless, but once they saw atmosphere, things got easier.

Her ship was fast, but it was still freighter shaped and heavy.

"Essow, what are the chances we have a chace as opposed to a blockade?" she yelled up.

"Not good, eyes ahead, Mhi!"

They may have had a Jedi onboard, but the most miraculous uses of the Force Mhi had ever seen was watching Essow Brak pilot, and watching her work with this finely tuned relic was magic all its own. Making it agile enough to meet her capabilities was the true challenge of her job, but it was worth it. She just also needed a gunner.

It was still a minute or so until they'd hit a wall of ships, but Mhi watched anxiously.

"Please don't trash my ship, Essow!"

All she heard in response was a laugh.

They were going on an attack run of a corvette. Always the suicide angle. Mhi knew where to fire to cause concern for their shields, getting through the larger vessel's deflectors just enough to add carbon scoring and potentially confusing their crew.

Their shields were solid, only taking real hits from the larger vessels, while the starfighters danced around them helplessly. It's when the droid repair team took action that she opened the comm to the cockpit.

"Essow, it's time!" Mhi panicked.

"Oh come on, we've got another couple runs left!" Essow laughed, snap-rolling the Onomiri Pathfinder out of harm's way.

"You'd better be right!"

They did another attack run, but a solid barrage rocked the ship, causing eveything to blink out for a moment.

"BRAK!" Mhi shouted as they continued their forward momentum.

"On it!"

Essow peeled off, and before the hyperspace engines could respond, they were at the edge of the system. Mhi breathed a sigh of relief and climbed out of the gunner’s seat. “What did you do?” the mirialan girl looked liked she might have been ill.

“Just the job,” Mhi offered.

“We moved through hyperspace without engines,” the kaminoan looked intrigued, “I knew your pilot used the Force, but this is new to me.”

“To them, it looks like we just shot off without astrogate calculations,” Mhi explained, not trying to stop them from following, “Which is helpful because now, our actual hyperspace route will be a very complicated question.”

“I wasn’t talking about the Force,” the girl sounded upset, “I mean, why did you just fire on Commonwealth ships if the Commonwealth isn’t actually going under?”

“Oh, it is, kid,” Essow stood to meet them rushing the cockpit, “Give it a few months. If your local law enforcement isn’t quelling an insurrection, it means they tacitly improve, We’re looking at another Empire and it won’t help if we’re just sitting here.”

“You don’t know that,” the girl said, “Things might just go back to normal.”

 “Ayoma, I’m gonna say two things to you,” the middle-aged human help up two digits, “Thing the first; it’s always satisfying to show off. And secondly, possibly the most obnoxious thing anyone’s ever said to me, ‘search your feelings’.”

She placed her hand on Ayoma’s shoulder to punctuate her second point. Ayoma’s face did that thing that near-human faces do when they get overly stressed, making Mhi reach for the astrogation pad. Of course Essow hadn’t started yet. “Where were we headed?” she asked the others.

“Ord Pardron,” Ilah replied.

“Uhhhhhhhh, do you know the way?”

“Take the Corellian Run down to Savareen, we’ll be taking the Triellus Trade Route up a ways, and hopefully someone out there can be a little more specific,” the Jedi explained, “There’s an old Rebel ‘safe world’ out there, which, if it’s not openly anti United Front, will hopefully be neutral enough to convalesce at.”

“Well as long as someone knows where we can go after this, I’m fine,” Essow turned back to the pilot’s seat, “Maybe we’ll get some smuggling work in the Outer Rim.”

“Just keep us flying, Brak,” Mhi feigned annoyance.

“Right back at ya, Sombelwabb.”

**********

The Onomiri Pathfinder

A labor of love turned into a tolerably illegal venture, the Onomiri is a Refitted and extensively modified YT-2400. Essow Brak and Mhi Sombelwabb have made their mark as the eponymous shipping solution team, Brak & Sombelwabb. In the Inner Rim, their goals are speed over bulk, and occasionally take passengers who need that point-five destination time. When they feel the need to pad their nest egg, or acquire materials necessary to keep their delicate hyperdrive in tune, they trek out further for more discreet shipping ventures.

They hold a privateer-like charter (in effect, bounty hunting credentials) that has been used utilized on more than one occasion to hunt rival smugglers, which also turns a hefty profit when business is slow.

YT 2400 mod Refitted template (just costs more and is harder to repair)

STR 42 DEX 22 INT 20 SPEED 5 HP 144 DR 15 ARMOR +15

EXTANT SYSTEMS Hyperdrive x.75 (increased to x.5 by Starship Designer) and X8 (backup) Sublight Drive 5 Combat Thruster Jamming Array Shields, SR 55 Navicomputer, Advanced Regenerating Shields Quad Advanced Heavy Laser Cannon 5d10x2 Slave Circuits Basic Sensor Array Computer (+6) Maneuvering Jets (+4) Hidden Cargo Hold 25% Droid Repair Team Added Power Couplings (+3) Reinforced Bulkheads 20% Luxury Upgrade Basic -1

Cargo: 38.5 tons apparent, 12.5 hidden.

#Star Wars Saga Edition

[a-baleful-howl]

This is Not a Love Story: The Structure of Jon & Dany's "Romance"

Y'all, if D&DB were intending to write an epic fantasy romance to end all romance with Jonerys, they failed. Big time. Tell me the last epic love story you’ve seen on film that didn’t start with a passionate, music-swelling kiss before getting to the dirty dirty. Jon and Dany have not kissed. They went straight to sex.

It also fails a lot of basic writing tips for romance. Whats odd, is that most of the romantic storytelling and hints come from Dany. The behind the scenes featurettes and theory videos on YT always talk about Dany falling in love, how Dany has heart eyes - not Jon. All Dany stans and Jonerys shippers have taken that and assumed or made it about how both of them are in love, without the evidence that Jon actually feels that way.

The showrunners have succeeded in showing a blooming infatuation from Dany, which tells me they know how to do it, but they haven’t done the same for Jon. Which tells me that is on purpose.

The first hint of possible affection towards the other, is the scene where Dany says she will let him mine for the dragonglass. She does a lot of the talking, the “getting to know you” part. Jon plays very close to the chest. Almost as if he is not up for getting to know each other. He’s strictly business, and shes trying to make it personal, but failing.

We’re to assume he’s talking about fighting - killing. Which is different than all the other men in her life. Drogo loved killing. Daario loved killing. She’s had warriors and fighters around her all the time, and the only person on film who has been said to not enjoy killing to her was Rheagar - someone who has been built up to this legendary hero and good man in her mind. So Jon sparks her interest here because he’s new and different.

Dany continues to try and play “cold heartless bitch”, I guess because she seriously thinks thats what makes someone queenly? To earn loyalty? To show strength? Or she’s being immaturely defensive to her brief moment of intrigue? Putting her walls back up to protect her “good heart”, because she’s been oh, so hurt in the past? What a sweet moment. *eyeroll*

But when Jon walks away, his back is turned, she lets her walls down for a moment to turn and watch him leave. As if he has shaken her and intrigued her all at once. “I am shooketh,” she whispers.

This scene is really good at establishing a romance from Dany’s perspective. This checks off some of the list for writing a believable romance - for her. In fact, any chance that Jon would have had to get to learn her heart better is squashed here, by her desire to keep her walls up. He doesn't look “intrigued”. He doesn't look “aroused”. He looks a little annoyed and irritated. Annoyed that this, to quote Kit Harington, this “rich girl with a fancy name” is being so damn difficult for the sake of being difficult. It’s a horrible feeling to not be believed and have everyone think you’re crazy. Its not “endearing” - its infuriating. There's no hint of him coming to like her in this scene - only her possibly coming to like him.

There are some tense moments in the cave - but I wouldn't say “sexual tension”. Jon looks hopeful to try and convince her that he’s not crazy - and that maybe she’ll give up her quest for power and the Iron Throne to fight against this bigger-than-both-of-them threat.

He emphasizes how this isn't a “them vs them” war. The only way to win is to band together, forget the petty quests for power and fight alongside as equals. He is hoping she understands this.

But she still insists in getting something in return. This is not an attractive quality. Jon is being courteous even though he doesn't have to by calling her “Your Grace” even though she doesn't return the favor. He’s being a gentleman, and shes still acting entitled.

The moment she walks closer to him in the cave, he steps back away from her approaches. He doesn’t look like he wants to be closer to her. He doesn’t look aroused. He doesn’t look willing. He looks kind of afraid. And she doesn’t look aroused either - she is doing this as a power play. Its not necessarily dripping with sexual tension or chemistry.

I don't think this is a sexual tension scene. This scene is to establish the power struggle - that Dany wont help out without getting something in return. She still is prioritizing her quest for power, and Jon realizes that she wont bend or break to help.

Jon realizes his talk about working together went right over her head. There is no reasoning with her.

So these first few scenes show a bit of why Dany might be falling in love with Jon. Jon is kind. He is strong. He is loyal. He is handsome. And he is opening her eyes to new things. This paints a perfect picture of why she might start having feelings for him. These are important things for building a romance plot - but they are only happening on one side at the moment.

Where does it show what Jon would be falling in love with? She is entitled. Cold. Stubborn. Vengeful. A little rude. He gives her multiple chances to show some humanity and humility - and she chooses to not. Please, pray tell, what Jon would be attracted to and in love with what Dany has shown him? Her looks? A guy who came to love an unattractive wildling. Jon’s an “inside” guy. He likes souls and personalities, not titles or looks. They are polar opposites - her with her many titles and Jon who has had to live with the stigma of being a Snow.

Most of his enamored looks are from when he’s around the dragons. He is enraptured by those dragons, for damn sure. But that could be his Targ blood.

These early scenes with Jon and Dany do show some important developments. Dany will fall in love with good ol’ honorable Jon. But they also show Jon finding out that he is going to have to do much more than plead to her kind heart to get her help against the Night King.

As Kit said, “I think it’s an inevitability from about halfway through the season, that theyre going to fall into bed together.” This is really, really interesting. What happened halfway through the season? Could it possibly be that he decided he needed to do whatever it took to get her loyalty? What was the kick off point for that decision? Perhaps seeing that there is no way the North can protect themselves from the Night King?

Another moment I liked from 7.07 is when Jon sees Kings Landing for the first time, and he says there are more people in Kings Landing than the entire North. That shows a huge difference between fighting forces. The North and its fighters (which is now every body on the north, men and women) seem so small in comparison. He’s weighing up armies. Armies to fight the Night King, and armies the Night King will bring back to fight against the living. The stakes are high, and his entire kingdom is smaller than the population of one city.

Okay - this is getting into different territory other than “This is Not a Love Story.” so I will leave it for later. I want to break down the other Jon and Dany scenes and show the chemistry, or lack thereof. But these take a bit of time. So a later date, then.

Xoxo! Season 8 is ours!

Part 2 here

#jonsa #original #me #this is not a love story #Danish pastry #my meta #meta #political!jon #sacrificial!jon

[proxypuff]

Hello Rakon!

The gentle Demi-god, gone bad.

This is Rakon.  Once a shy timid boy, who would hide behind his older brother Goth.  Slowly turned to blood lust and hate, once nightmare planted corruption in his soul at a young age. 

Rakon as a kid was always happy.  He had his faults, but nothing he didn’t always handle by hiding behind Goth or his mother Geno.  It was hard to try to hide behind Reaper his father, he found Reaper was far more interested in letting him handle his own problems then step in.  Not that his father didn’t care for him, he later learned that Reaper didn’t want either child to try and use the fear of a god to save them from anything that came their way.

Rakon was born in the save screen, unlike Goth who was born in Reapertale and felt at home there.  Rakon was only at home where ever Goth and Geno were.  He wasn’t liked by the other Demi-god or god kids.  He found he was the butt of joke, pranks and beatings alike from these children.  He was often rescued by Goth at these times, few times Goth would find him beaten up somewhere and would bring him home to clean him up so Reaper didn’t see.

The first beating Rakon got that Reaper came upon is possibly Rakon’s dearest memory.  Reaper went Apocalyptic mode and nearly killed the two god kids.  Rakon had to step in and stop Reaper.  He floated up to him and hugged him hard.  Once Reaper came to Rakon heard him lightly crying and apologizing for everything Rakon was going through.

One time when Rakon was five years old he went missing.  No one knows what happened to him or where he went, but the following morning Rakon turned up on the front step of the house shivering and asleep.

As Rakon entered the age of twelve his personality began to change.  The sweet good boy began to lash out and hurt those that hurt him.  He still seemed so nice and sweet to his family, but Goth watched him act out in ways he’d never seen from Rakon before.

To quell this new attitude Ink suggested to Geno about having Dream train Rakon.  Geno and Reaper both agreed.  Reaper was to busy training Goth in how to be a GOD OF DEATH. Geno didn’t know how to start training the power of a God that laid inside Rakon.

Rakon trained under Dream till just after his fourteenth birthday.  He had a fight with Cross about how Dream was “weak and useless.”  He stated,  “Dream’s teaching the same stupid lesson over and over.  Mercy and spare.  Mercy and Spare!  I’m done with his weak crap!  Why don’t you take that damn sword of yours and shove it up his ass!  Then he’ll have something new to talk about.”  And he portaled back home to Reapertale. 

Rakon later at fifteen disappeared.  Everyone went searching for him.  Ink, Drago, Reaper, the other stars, and even Life herself.  She wanted to find him so badly and bring him home safe.  Yet, once found by Drago, his cousin from the resets in the save screen, Rakon showed just where he had been and why.

Nightmare was “teaching” Rakon to fight, and win at all costs   Drago barely walked away from the fight, but that day Rakon had shown he was already level three. Which in Drago’s eyes meant he may have to gain LV as well in order to save the family member he loved so much.

At LVL 1 (current LVL 8)

HP - 120 (current 184)

Attack - 9

Defense - 13

Weapons - Currently a baseball bat he found and put nails in.  The bat mace has been replaced 3 times.  He will trash it if its just a nuisance to carry.

Abilities

Shortcuts - Taught to him by Geno and Reaper.  A teleport from one place to another that is only a short distance.  (max within one mile.)

Portals - (A wide circle)  Learned through his former mentor Dream.  He will tell you its the only good thing he learned.  He can’t travel to Genocidal routes without his badge that was given to him by Ink.   Floating - (a god power) Taught by Reaper an ability that he can use for a short amount of time that requires a lot of magic and concentration

NightWalker - (result of Corruption Seed.)  This is what makes his Eye red.  Its a lot like night vision and can be turned on and off at will.  It hardly depletes magic.

Summoning circle - If he makes the right eye flame a full red, it creates a large circle on the ground that will summon his master Nightmare.  

 Different versions of RAKON

If you have a version of Rakon send it to me and it just might become canon.

Fell - Spice (ProxyPuff)

NaJ - Hieo (ProxyPuff)

Wolf verse - NA

Vamp Verse - NA

Kinder - NA

Other Ref Sheets 

Drago - Mr Laid back

Credits

Art is done by.  @ryudrawingblind

Check out our other Undertale AU @askabletalecrew

I own Drago, Rakon  I Co-own Sanctuary with Ryu

Reaper and Reapertale/ @renrink

Goth/ @nekophy

Geno/ @loverofpiggies

Ink/ @comyet

Dream and Nightmare/ @jokublog

Cross/ @jakei95 Also found at there YT

Underswap sans (AKA Berry) / owned by community

Underfell sans (AKA Cherry) / owned by community

Undertale/ @tobyfoxofficial

#undertale #undertale Au #underfell #underswap #fell!sans #swap!sans #goth #goth!sans #reaper #reaper!sans #geno!sans #afterdeath #cherry!sans #blueberry!sans #ink!sans #dream!sans #nightmare!sans #Cross!sans #renrink #nekophy #comyet #jokublog #jakei95 #toby fox #ryudrawingblind #sanctuary #proxypuff

[cordiformation]

Mercy Main, btw

“No aim, no brain, Mercy main.”

“I wish Mercy would be deleted from the game.”

“What a stupid hero.”

“Low skill hero.”

“It’s unfair that one button can counter an extremely high skill play.”

“Boosted.”

“Carried.”

“They have a top 500 and we have two Mercy mains, we’re going to lose.”

“Can you play anything not Mercy?”

“I hate Mercy mains.”

Anyway, this is just off the top sampling of conversation that happens pretty constantly if you’ve ever watched an Overwatch streamer who isn’t a Mercy player. The memes (ha ha, jokes) are permanent fixtures on the Overwatch reddits, of course and even make it into the “pro Overwatch” scene commentary (”And then Sherlockey swoops in from hiding and presses Q” -- which is related to the idea that “all Mercy does is Hide and then Press Q” which is the default ultimate use button on the PC). It’s a huge constant in any conversation on Overwatch (also seen in many of the popular youtube commentaries as well) and on the ladder a little less so but still “Can you play someone not Mercy” is fairly. . . well, common up until the most recent patch.

And I’m constantly fucking pissed.

There’s an interesting article here on Mercy but I thought I’d expand on it. The recent Mercy changes have really added to the conversation and just as people who played Mercy knew before, it wouldn’t really change the conversation.

A Lot of Arguments Against Mercy are that: 1. she doesn’t require aim 2. she’s very easy to play/low skill 3. she is too powerful 4. but on the other hand she’s not useful enough because she hasn’t been in higher tier conversation meta since like season 2 where she had a brief rein because of Pharmercy 5. ew grill gamers lol mercy main lol 6. I A DPS Main Feel Cheated When She Resurrects The Team Because My 5K Was So Impressive OH My God

One of the things I have liked and enjoyed immensely about Overwatch is that it isn’t Call of Duty 2.0. It isn’t the FPS only FPS can you FPS and only FPS game. It’s a game that to excel at requires a huge amount of map sense / strategy / game sense / educated guesses about the enemy so forth and so on. Every game is different because of your team and the enemy team and the map. You have to be able to predict who has what ults and what is going to be combo’d and what routes do you want to take on maps. It’s easily accessible but has a continual learning curve in what you can do.

Many characters who have ‘easy’ kits also have extremely high levels (in my opinion) of strategy involved. Winston is another example, of whom for a while was considered “low skill” because you don’t have to aim with his weapon, it does AOE auto-cleave damage. However, that has faded after the double Winston meta from like... season 1? And also because in Korea he’s seen as being one of the most important characters in the game. And it’s true. Winston is immensely powerful when used correctly. Just because his kit is “I don’t have to aim my gun to be effective” doesn’t mean anything in what ‘effective’ means. A good Winston needs to know engages / disengages, his own hp limits, other heroes cooldowns and ults, the bubble placement and how to block damage and ALSO enemy healing or LoS, how to utilize the jump combos to kill people etc. Another hero that the American (and I believe EU) sides of Overwatch had devalued for 800 years was D.Va but she had her revival in triple tank but only because “her defense matrix is overpowered”. However, it should be noted that while Winston has shaken off the ‘low skill’ title, D.Va has continued to keep it. Low skill, just needs 1 click (her defense matrix) to nullify everything! Low Skill! Awful Hero!

Strange how both D.Va and Mercy are female heroes and continue to get these comments repeatedly where similar male counterparts have been able to have that removed. Strange, isn’t it. A lot of other people have sort of spoken on the sexism in video games and the article I linked above also talks about it, so I won’t focus too much on it. But a real ha ha isn’t it.

The Mercy situation, I feel, is Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t. The only other burst healer in the game is Ana -- and Ana does have an extremely high skill cap. She requires fairly good accuracy and is also the only healer who can’t heal herself and the only healer with an offensive support ult, rather than a defensive one. Ana was op for a season or two and despite being thought of as ‘a bad choice’ for the first few weeks she came out, she became a ‘must pick’ and also a highly skilled character that was cool to play. She shoots people. And her ult enables DPS to do cool things. But outside of Ana, there is no way to heal quickly and consistently -- Lucio and Zenyatta both have much lower amounts of healing outside of bursts with long cooldowns (amp it up / transcendence).

For the longest time meta was just Lucio/Zen, if you ran anything else you were stupid. And then Lucio/Ana or Ana/Zen. This is with the top say, 20% or something of players, but Mercy has remained an incredible consistently high picked hero. For some obvious reasons -- tanks and DPS need healers to live. Even though Mercy has a high pick rate and many people making commentary outside of the pro players/streamers play with Mercys who save their asses... well, she’s still A Bad Hero to them. Some of this has to do with the echo chamber of these communities and the begging up after some dude says something and everyone else wants to repeat it. And, the sort of healer position in all games, as many people know, no one thinks healers have value, but they always need healers to heal them.

Anyway, people hated the rez. It brings people back to life. It means if you killed 5 people at once with A Cool Ult then Mercy could run in and rez them all. The idea often was that ‘Mercy hides and then comes out and rezes’. Which is honestly kind of silly since a good Mercy has always used rez for tempo and been with her team, since her job is... healing. But somehow the idea that Mercy Mains Are Good at Hiding And Doing Nothing But Rezzing and also that Mercys could Climb the Ladder By Only Rezzing Five People At Once spread.

Believe me, if climbing the ladder by getting 5man rezzes was possible, there would be a lot more Mercy one tricks in top 500 for the past few seasons.

But it stuck in commentary. Mercy was easy. Every Mercy player in the higher levels of play was boosted. After all, Mercy takes no skill, she just hides and presses Q. It’s ridiculous commentary and some of it has to do with the way that DPS players feel that all you need to do is frag harder, who needs strategy and whenever they get a ‘kill stolen’ from them they’re mad and Feels Bad. (Related, though, is how Trans and Sound Barrier can both nullify cool DPS plays as well, but no one complains about that... weird, huh....). I weirdly was watching a tank player’s stream where the exact problem was that all the DPS just wanted to frag harder and not follow strategy and shockingly they lost. Wow. It’s like Overwatch is a game that has more than just shooting to it??? Go figure.

Now, hilariously. While Mercy was too easy and constantly boosted she was also out of the higher tier levels because... she wasn’t that good. Why have Mercy when you can have Ana. Why have Mercy when you can have Lucio? So forth and so on. The only time Mercy was pulled out in higher levels for a very long time was “to babysit pharah” and even then you’d see Pharahs without Mercy.

Fast forward to now where Mercy got a rework because people kept complaining about how 5 person Rezes were unfair. The dev update is on the OW yt here. It should be noted that part of the ‘hide’ conversation is also your team telling you to hide when you want to stay and heal them. “Mercy go hide” listen don’t tell me how to play my character -- but it was pretty common at the elos I played at (gold/plat) and also the higher elos I watch streams for (masters/gm/top 500). People wanted her to hide because she is very easy to kill. Her 2016 Halloween victory pose is a gravestone with a hand reaching out going in for the rez and I’m never changing it because it’s Too True to Reality. Rez & die is pretty common. (example of both).

Now Rez is an ability and her ult is Valkyrie. When the changes were announced people who didn’t play Mercy were like Looks Cool and a lot of other people were like This wilL Take More Skill. A lot of Mercy players I know were... disappointed. Because what this change does is make Rez a single person rez (every 30 seconds) and Valkyrie lets her fly + shoot faster and resets the rez cooldown + her healing/damage boost beams connect to teammates instead of just one person. But what this did was take away her ability to save her team. So there’s no “I can save my team from an ult” ability she has anymore. Rez was the defensive ult she had to ‘team save’ like Sound Barrier and Trascendence.

But she’s been live for a while now and the answer people have now is: she’s too easy and too op. Her rez nullifies picks and it’s Unfair that Mercy’s Rez is So Easy and nullifies a High Skill Play Like a Pick. Her Ult is Too Good. She Does Too Much.  We Need a Mercy in Every Game or We’ll Lose. 

With that last one, let me tell you, I have watched all these top 500 DPS and tank/off tank players playing Mercy and they are so bad. Or having other GM players play Mercy because “we can’t win without one” but then the Mercy is so bad they lose. I mean, but if she was so easy wouldn’t she be able to be picked up immediately? Easy victory right? All Mercys up in higher levels have no skill, huh?

I won’t disagree that her ult is possibly too long or a little overpowered. Resetting the rez I think is fine. The 10 second cooldown is good. After all, that’s what makes her ... well, her. The rez. But her ult lasts for 20 seconds. They could cut it to 12 seconds or 15 and it would be much more balanced. Even that much would be enough imo, but if they needed further nerfs, they could also nerf the connected beams to teammates and have them have a drop off or something. I.E., main person gets the full heal, the connected people get less of a heal. But while people complain deeply about new Mercy ult... no one works too hard to counter it. As much as people complain about Mercy, very few people have ever tried to counter it. In fact, popular streamers have said: My team doesn’t know to kill Mercy, so I hate her. 

My DPS doesn’t know to kill the other teams support, so I hate the support. Thinking.

Mercy was given invul when she rezzed because it was too easy for her to die during rez. This has been removed for her current update and the rez distance is melee distance. So if you just killed someone and  Mercy goes in for the rez... you should also be able to kill her. It’s extremely valuable then. Her ult is easily countered by tac visor or deadeye. She herself is countered by anyone who can aim and Sombra. If DPS is so skilled, doesn’t it seem like they should be able to deal with a 200hp hero? Hm. At my elo (Plat/Diamond rn) you can still hunt her down with Pharah and kill her.

Now, the skill part of Mercy. When Mercys changes came through, they were extremely easy for me to adjust to. My friends have had varying experiences -- many have said she’s much harder. I feel that she’s much easier because the hardest part of Mercy is strategy. Which of your teammates are the most valuable to rez right now, will rezzing them be productive, what ults do the enemy have which cooldowns do they have, where are we with progress, where are the rest of my teammates, what ults do we have, where are we on the map blah blah. Tempo rez has always been good but before you had to balance it with “will i need a team rez later”. 8/10 of my rezzes previous have been tempo rezzes because team rezzes often just set your team up to get wiped again.

But with her changes, that has been removed. You can only tempo rez. That decision has been removed. The weight is more on who and when and why -- but honestly, it’s also relieving because instead of “my DPS loves feeding jesus christ stop dying now we have to wait for you to respawn so we can push again” the fights are a lot quicker to engage. You can make up for your teammates bad decisions with rez. If you’re good with it.

Who do you rez? Well, it’s a pretty easy answer for me which is “depends”, lol. It’s a nice place to be as a solo healer if you have 2 tanks, you can let one of them die and heal the other. You can continue pushes when people make mistakes. You can rez your DPS carry or second support. There’s so many more options to enable your team to do well.

You have to know your distance and teammate positions intimately so you can escape and go in. Her new Guardian Angel lets you slingshot around and it’s nice but also tricky to use (?). The skill part of Mercy has always been strategy and positioning, and this change hasn’t change it at all.

I suppose, people who were mediocre or bad at Mercy continue to be bad at Mercy.

I guess... this is the parting word here. I’m not exactly sure where I meant to go with this except I’m tired. I’m tired of people bagging on Mercy. Of complaining but wanting to be healed and rezzed. I’m honestly tired of maining who seems to be the most hated character in Mercy. The more people complain about aspects of heroes in Overwatch who clearly have a place and are generally not OP people just haven’t at all considered actually countering them the more it feels like the community never wanted you. And honestly, maybe they never did. I jokingly bag on Mercy all the time in hopes that I will become immune to it. It doesn’t work. I play fill in most competitive matches and often it’s support that needs filled. Or, say, a tank but there’s no support so playing tank will be difficult and suck.

I think I had more to say. But I’m sure anyone reading this can guess what. I’ve always enjoyed that OW isn’t just about fps. I wish the rest of the community would catch up with that.

#overwatch #overwatch gameplay #salt with my pepper #*m

[catchmine]

Hello catchmine_id! I don't have any acc yet for dramas and just too shy to talk about it in public with my name but the point is I always enjoy your fmvs on YT channel :) your preference in music&drama is amazing!! What you're working on is always damn great choice XD but too little, maybe you have hidden list? I searched for CT Clocks and glad ended up here find you since it can't be played on my playlist anymore (why?:(() also I'm looking for Healer theme song & another Goblin ost... 1

Oh em… Wow. Daebak. I notice there are three parts of this message

My all time favorites by far :

1. Coffee Prince (my first love that brings me to Kdramaland!) and,

Healer (just… Feels so right, left me at full feelings in each of it’s episode?) that these two shows are so rewatch-able.

2. Misaeng

3. Signal

4. Chicago Typewriter

5. My Girlfriend is A Gumiho

6. Goblin, Guardian : The Lonely and Great God

7. Kill Me, Heal Me

8. W - Two Worlds

9. I Can Hear Your Voice

10. Reply 1988

:)

I wish I can make ‘em up to a fan made videos just for nostalgic lol if I have much free times and energy *sigh* I watch Signal too late, just after Goblin ended and it’s cure my withdrawal. And just started vidding from Healer era (and I watched it kinda late too, which is my biggest regret ever since comments in dramabeans so crazy reached 10k if I’m not wrong?)

Ah… I have kinda traumatic event in Goblin days that my videos were taken down but others with similar edit not that strict which made me so ‘whyyyy’ till I have to pour on secondary channel and it’s channel terminated after safe in 4 weeks so heartbreaking if I remember how great the discussions there via comments also subs reached 300+ just by 1 month 3 so I defense by make that Clocks private; and about Healer theme video blocked worldwide by the clips owner. For Goblin OST I’m sorry just can provide Who Are You (Sam Kim) and Stay With Me (Chanyeol, Punch)… I really want to re-upload Stuck in Love (Kim Kyung-hee), I Miss You (Soyou), Beautiful (Crush) and Heaven (Roy Kim, Kim EZ) but didn’t have courage.

I will reply this part by part lol sorry for long reply guess I’m so heart-pouring type #triggered lmao

#ask catchmine #catchmine #catchmine diary #catchmine_id youtube #wah <3

[granvarones]

yo bruce, you’re wack!

you would think that yt cis-gay men would learn to keep their condescending mouths shut but they don’t learn. ever. they do, however, love to tell black and brown folks what to do, think, feel and say. 

earlier this week, news broke about a top doc at mazzoni center, the largest LGBTQ agency in philadelphia, being on paid leave amid an internal investigation of alleged misconduct of a sexual nature. what does that mean? well, that can mean a lot of things but as a former employee of mazzoni and as a philadelphia resident, i can say that for years there were whispers about boundaries being crossed with clients. if you have worked in non-profits for as long as i have, you know that these accusations are seldom investigated or even addressed. this is because it would shine a terrible light on the agency, and that could potentially jeopardize funding. so it is often swept under the rug, ESPECIALLY if the accusations are made against a person who is in a position of great power - ya know, like an executive director, manager, or doctor.

anywho, after the news broke, about 30 mazzoni center staff members WALKED out! this is huge because front-line workers are often bullied into silence out of fear of retaliation from leadership. but hunty, on tuesday mornting, mazzoni staff said “fuck it! we stand by our patients!” this is also huge as patients, clients, and participants of LGBTQ and HIV orgs are often erased and minimized to deliverables. i can also tell you that it took me years to unlearn that agencies were more powerful than community. i can learn that as service providers and activists, our commitment should always lie with community. so kudos to mazzoni front-line staff for literally standing in that commitment.

naturally because mazzoni center is nationally renowned, many community members came to the defense of the agency, its CEO nurit shein and their top doc, robert winn. of course, this was no surprise because people defended iCandy’s owner after video surfaced of him joyfully saying the N-word over and over and over again. iCandy is a philadelphia bar located in the gayborhood, but the defense of mazzoni’s CEO and top doc that i found to be the most ridiculous was that of bruce yelk. apparently, he is the producer of Distrkt C in washington, dc. let’s take a look at his post.

oh bruce, where the fuck do i begin. oh yeah, i know - SHUT THE FUCK UP! he calls the current “mazzoni issues” a “witch-hunt.” LMAO!!! demanding that mazzoni center keep patients safe from predatory staff is a “witch-hunt”? you’re hella whack bruce! he also goes on to state that “there would be no mazzoni center without nurit shein and dr. winn.” as a former staff member, let me say that it is the FRONT-LINE staff that keep the patients and community members coming back. it is the FRONT-LINE staff, who are often overworked and underappreciated, that keep that place from folding. the only thing nurit provided was a safe space for dr. winn to exist without any accountability. how do we know this for sure? a fuckin’ former board member went on record just two days ago stating so in a piece written by timaree schmit for the philadelphia weekly. mark coyne, a pharmacist who served on the board of directors for mazzoni center for 8 fuggin’ years from 2008-2016 confirmed that allegations against dr. winn were brought the attention of board during his term. he also stated that CEO nurit shein did not take the allegations seriously because they were made anonymously. ya know, as a sexual abuse survivor, i will tell you that telling someone is HARD AS FUCK because people still refuse to believe sexual abuse victims. also, medical providers have a lot of power. to be forthcoming about a doctor’s misconduct, especially a doctor who is so beloved by the community, could potentially put one’s medical care in jeopardy, especially if you’re poz.

mark coyne also stated in timaree’s philadelphia weekly article that a former board president received an anonymous letter from staff members detailing allegations of sexual relationships between dr. winn with “one or two patients.” it gets fuckin’ better. the former board president does what she is supposed to do and calls an emergency meeting to address the allegations and nurit shein shuts her down! so yeah, bruce, tell us again how there would be no mazzoni center without nurit and dr. winn?

bruce then goes on to defend nelly fitzpatrick, former director of LGBTQ affairs in philadelphia and pa house representative brian sims who both waited too damn long to address the anti-Blackness and racism in philadelphia’s gayborhood. brian sims himself has said that he dropped the ball. but according to bruce, brian got “bashed” for not “speaking up on 1 issue.” yeah, he said that. according to bruce not speaking up and against racism in the gayborhood is not a big thing. lawd!

bruce also goes on to write that DC’s gay scene “cares about each other, works together and conducts themselves in a respectful manner.” which one of us is gonna tell him about the DC’s racism and anti-Blackness in the gay scene - especially at JR’s?in the event that you missed that story bruce, read all about it here.

so it gets even better. when someone challenges him on the dress-code at woody’s, a philly gay club, and how the “no timbaland boots” was rooted in anti-Blackness, bruce responds with this:

i should mention that the owners of woody’s have gone on record stating that there is no dress-code and nor has there ever been.

yo bruce, which “culture” wears timbs and “thinks nothing about punching someone before talking about the issue?” i am not wearing timbs right now and i still wanna punch you. then when he was challenged about his white privilege, this fool responds with:

LMAO!!!

why do i bring all of this shit up? great that you asked. well ya know the lgbtq march on washington is happening the same exact weekend as capital pride and bruce, who is the producer of District C in washington, dc is slated to make some major coins. i am thinking for any of us who are planning to be in DC that bruce doesn’t deserve our coins. it’s clear who he values, and it isn’t those who are not white and in “leadership” positions.one more thing bruce, your beloved doctor just resigned.

so i am tired of typing and centering this wack ass cis-yt gay dude and i will leave you with this queer proverb by xin ania:

stop letting racists hide behind queerness!

#thegranvarones #granvarones #queer #latino #latinx #boricua #afrolatino #afroboricua #opinion #lgbtq #washington dc #pride