#which y'know. might be important for things like urinary/genital care

[genderkoolaid]

i think "nonbinary" can be useful but a lot of times the way it is being used isn't helpful to actually discussing nonbinary people, especially since it is a HUGE umbrella term with very few boundaries. like there are nonbinary men & women, so positioning "nonbinary" as something intrinsically separate from man/woman isn't accurate. or there are times where it would be more useful to name the specific group (like multigender people, androgynes, abinary/aphorians) rather than a much vaguer term

in general the problem is that our language to describe nonbinary existence is basically some scraps held together with duct tape. there's sooo many ways in which nonbinary people are erased or binaried through language. not just through the lack of gender neutral options but the la of blatantly genderqueer ones.

i kinda feel like as of right now, nonbinary-ness is pretty slapdash & all over the place and it would be helpful to have a large-scale discussion on what terminology would be best for discussing things like exorsexism and it's various aspects, and how to talk about nonbinary people without homogenizing us, while ALSO acknowledging the need for umbrella terms that can cover a range of individual identities, even if people don't personally identify with the umbrella term itself. & on that note we should also probably discuss the issue of. like. perfectionism wrt nonbinary language & the way that potentially useful terms get lost bc of it. I don't think nonbinary people can really achieve meaningful equality and inclusion on the same level until we are able to have equally diverse and useful ways of describing ourselves, and a stronger understanding of how we relate to each other as a community.

#I've been chewing on this general topic for a while #bc I'm realizing that I don't like identifying as nonbinary specifically bc of how ppl often use that #to just mean ''gender neutral'' & often exclude androgyne multigenders by assuming nb can't be men/women #even trans theory so often just groups nonbinary people in with whoever feels the most relevant and is uninterested in exploring exorsexism #outsidr of it's connection to other issues #there's an assumption that nonbinary experiences can be more or less grouped in w binary ones without missing out on much #it's just frustrating. same w when people assume that all transitions end w people looking cis-passing #and ignore the difficulties that can come from things like non traditional bottom surgery! #there's next to no resources for salmacians and virtually none for agenital prople #which y'know. might be important for things like urinary/genital care #or sex work or anything #hell so many people have argued that exorsexism doesn't exist because all nonbinary oppression is ''just transphobia'' #so many ppl are completely uninterested in looking at nonbinary people separate from binary ppl & binary experiences #m.