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descendantofthesparrow · 2 years

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Monthly routine

-MINI FIC TIME CUZ IM DUMB- KINDA SPICY SO BE WARNED FOR SPICE-

“Are ye sure bout this Uma?” Harry asked, glancing between the exposed skin on Uma’s neck, which was quickly becoming revealed as she pulled down her top until one side slid off her shoulder, revealing her chest and collar bones.

Uma nodded at him, not looking at him quite yet “When am i not? You need to feed Harry, and as we’ve discovered, my blood gets you by the longest, so my blood is what you’ll get.” Harry was hardly listening anymore, eyes catching onto the bitemarks on Uma’s inner left breast. he licked his lips, feeling his teeth grow as his hunger did. and not just for Uma’s blood. “Harry.” his head snapped up, looking into Uma’s eyes “My eyes are up here dumb dumb”

Harry laughed softly, shaking his head “If yer sure Uma” he muttered, rolling up his sleeves and walking up to Uma, drawing her hair away so he could access her neck without getting blood on her hair. Uma turned on her heel, her back now against his chest, they both found it easier for Harry to go from behind, so she didn't see him bite and he could reach her vein easier and quicker.

Harry kissed her shoulder, licking an old bite mark, smirking as Uma shivered at his touch, his arm snaking around her waist and holding her against him “Harry” Uma breathed out, an order to hurry up. Harry just chuckled, his fangs growing to their full length as he sucked on the spot he planned to draw blood from “relax mo Leannan” Harry cooed into Uma’s ear, smirking as she shivered again, leaning into his chest. “jus’ havin a wee bit of fun”

Uma let out a small grumble, gasping as Harry’s hand cradled her head and tilted it to the side, kissing the spot once more and then biting into her skin. Harry groaned as her blood flooded into his mouth, dripping down his chin and her chest. “fuck-” Uma cursed, feeling her cheeks heat up rapidly as she felt Harry’s tongue caress her skin, licking up all her blood.

her hands smacked against his arm and hand, breathing heavily as Harry drank her blood. ‘god this should not be as hot as it is’ Uma thought, closing her eyes as a wave of heat ran through her body, squeezing her legs together as Harry’s thumb caressed her cheek and waist, squeezing her hips in hopes to comfort her and tell her he was almost done.

Harry swallowed down the last mouthful of Uma’s rich and delicious blood, licking the new bite wound to clean her skin before he pulled back, breathing heavily to regain his senses. he nearly pounced back onto her, but for very different reasons as she leaned heavily against him, her chest rising heavily as she gasped for breath. “are ye okay?” Harry asked gently, curling his arms around her waist and arm and pulling her into his side, her head resting against his shoulder. she turned, looking into his eyes which were gleaming bright red.

she smirked, her cheeks burning as her eyes flashed, Harry flushing as he realized what was going on “Uma i just-maybe we should-WOAH!” Uma pushed Harry onto her bed, climbing onto his lap and getting into his face, her arms on other side of his head “all righ’ then” Harry rasped out, smirking as Uma kissed him hard, her hands grabbing at his shirt as he let Uma take back control, all to happy to be under her command once again.

-end-

heheheheheheh im having too much fun~

also-red eyed version~

@ishiphumasohard ehehehhehe

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mmamag · 4 years

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10 Greatest Martial Arts Movies Of All Time

After hundreds of movies, thousands of eye-popping fight scenes and millions of punches thrown...which ones are the best? Which ones have I been missing out on my whole life? Which ones must I have in my collection in order to not bring shame upon my family name? We’ve scoured the internet. Reviews. Forums. Amazon. Postings. Bulletins. And this list is what we’ve come up with as the greatest Kung-Fu movies of all time and why you should watch each one. Pay attention to movies involving Yuen Wo-Ping as either director or action director, there's a reason why half this list is movies where he was involved! If you want to watch trailers of these movies, go to: http://www.experiencemartialarts.com/articles/movies.html (you can also get directly to these movies in http://Amazon.com from this website)

#1 - Way of the Dragon (1979)

https://youtu.be/LQ-Biwp3jPg This is the only finished film to be written and directed by Bruce Lee. (Game of Death is the other one but is unfinished) We could write a lot about the plot, characters or fight scenes...but all you really care about is watching Bruce Lee fight Chuck Norris in the final battle. Martial Artists: Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris Director: Bruce Lee

#2 - Shaolin Temple (1982)

https://youtu.be/1Ym16e77L3U Depicts the amazing history of the Shaolin Temple, the focal point for Chinese Martial Arts. Think of the Shaolin Monks as Jedi Knights (an elite group of fighters) and the rest of China as the messed-up universe that Star Wars takes place in (people who are afraid of the elite fighters and want to take them out of power). Much work to do, you have, young Jet Li. *picture Yoda’s accent on that one* Define Irony: A movie shot at the site of the Shaolin Temple, telling a story about the fall of the Shaolin Temple, sparks so much public interest that the temple was re-opened shortly after the movie released. Martial Artist: Jet Li (His debut movie) Director: Chang Hsin-Yen

#3 - Ong Bak (2003)

https://youtu.be/VUAIQU7yoQE Raw action without wires, Tony Jaa brings a new martial arts style to the big screen and does so in style. Muay Thai (Thai Boxing) is stronger and more direct than the Chinese styles you’re used to seeing with Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan, giving a new look to how a martial arts movie can be done. You’ll be seeing more of him...guaranteed. Martial Artist: Tony Jaa Director: Prachya Pinkaew

#4 - Iron Monkey (1993)

https://youtu.be/C_PHfCon2zQ Doctor by day, thief by night...Iron Monkey is your classic Robin-hood meets Kung Fu. It’s an action packed flick that can’t go 5 minutes without an excellent fight scene. It all comes down to a battle between Iron Monkey (ie Robin Hood) and an ex Shaolin Monk (remember, these guys are like the Jedi Knights of Chinese martial arts...they’re elite). Remember that guy Yuen Wo-Ping I mentioned? Well he's the director in this one, so you know it's good! Martial Artists: Yu Rong-Guang, Donnie Yen Director: Yuen Wo-Ping Action Directors: Yuen Cheung-yan, Yuen Shun-yi

#5 - 5 Deadly Venoms (1978)

https://youtu.be/kX6EHqcvqyo No room form "martial arts beauties" in this one, there's so much blood and action that they only cast male actors. Exit the traditional elaborate costumes and enter the muscular, skin-bearing, bloody martial arts style that would become a trademark for director Chang Cheh. Each cast member is trained in an art resembling one of 5 venemous creatures (Scorpion, Snake, Centipede, Gecko, Toad) with the 6th cast member being trained in all 5. Six main martial arts actors = LOTS O’ ACTION Martial Artists: 6 Martial Artists (yes, 6 main characters) Director: Chang Cheh

#6 - The Seven Samurai (1954)

https://youtu.be/wJ1TOratCTo One of the greatest classic kung-fu movies of all time and arguable Kurosawa’s best work. Some Samurai of the time were down on their luck (homeless) and willing to do anything for a meal. A village under attack by bandits recruits a group of seven such Samurai warriors and asks them to help defend their village. The movie is about the Samurai teaching the village how to fight and culminates in a massive battle between a village and almost 50 attacking bandits. The acting is superb, the emotions run high and Kurosawa keeps you hooked from beginning to end. Martial Artists: 7 Martial Artists (all names you won't know since this movie is so old) Director: Akira Kurosawa

#7 - Legend of Drunken Master (1994)

https://youtu.be/xlZDzx8xiwo Some will say this is the greatest martial arts movie of all time because of it’s balance between plot-line, comedy, drama and amazing kung fu sequences. Probably Jackie Chan’s best martial arts performance. You’re going to love the final scene where you learn what “Drunken Master” really means. We’re talking box-splitting, fire-spitting craziness! Martial Artist: Jackie Chan Director: Lau Kar-leung

#8 - Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000)

https://youtu.be/mClOxgyWLs8 Based on a Pentalogy (yes, that’s 5 books) written by Wang Dulu, this movie covers mostly the 4th book. Critically acclaimed to cross international borders with it’s amazing character development, intricate plot, martial arts ideals, stunning special effects and quicker-than-the-eye fighting scenes, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon set a new standard for martial arts movies. Telling Zhang Ziyi (the lead female character and an amazing martial artist) to get back in the kitchen would likely cost you 50 punches to the “bags”. Be ready for subtitles, ‘cuz turning on the English track is like watching...uh...like watching a kung fu movie in English. Main Martial Artist: Chow Yun-fat Other Martial Artists: Zhang Ziyi, Michelle Yeoh, Chang Chen, Cheng Pei-pei Director: Ang Lee Action Director: Yuen Wo-Ping

#9 - Kill Bill vol. 1 (2003)

https://youtu.be/499Aiwh_If0 You’re going to want your home theatre room for this one. It’s tough to beat beautiful women beating the crap out of each other in fast-paced, action-packed, make you cringe, bloody, gory, cut-’em-up (more buzz words go here) movie jam packed with as much martial arts death as possible. Tarantino expertly uses every camera angle and a plethora of special effects to deliver a better-than-real visual experience that gives this blood-and-guts thriller an artistic feel you’ll appreciate at the end. Did I mention is has Uma Thurman in it? (“Kill bill vol. 2” brings closure to the set, but hey...we had to choose one movie. Say “Five-Point-Palm Exploding Heart Technique” 5 times fast.) Actors: Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Lucy Liu, Daryl Hannah, Vivica A. Fox Director: Quentin Tarantino Action Director: Yuen Wo-ping

#10 - Fist of Legend (1994)

https://youtu.be/Wh5ydsMZUzg A classic story of Chinese vs. Japanese martial arts, Fist of Legend is actually a remake of the original Bruce Lee movie, Fist of Fury. If Bruce Lee is like the original James Bond, Jet Li is the Pierce Brosnan. He’ll never be the original, but the modern film-making and larger budget bring the entertainment value just a hair above the original Fist of Fury. (The ghost of Bruce Lee is probably going to strike me down for writing that) The Yuen Brothers are known for amazing action choreography, and they totally deliver on this one. (Casting Jet Li may have helped them a little too.) Martial Artist: Jet Li Director: Gordon Chan Action Directors: “The Yuen Brothers”

MMA MAG Read the full article

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thismoviefucks · 4 years

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THESE MOVIES FUCK - JANUARY 2020

I watched ten movies this month. Let me tell you what I thought.

Once Upon a Time in the West (1968, dir. Sergio Leone) is a movie that tells you who it is right up front. The opening 15 minutes of this legendary spaghetti Western are paralleled in their perfection only by the other 150, establishing the tone for the whole movie; an excruciatingly slow, tense and beautiful crawl through the arid, picturesque blank slate of the desert. There is very little action in this movie, and not much in the way of dialogue. There doesn't need to be. Sergio Leone's direction, Ennio Morricone's music, and the subtle performances of a young Charles Bronson and a playing-shockingly-against-type Henry Fonda, among others, all congeal into a movie you could probably watch and love even if the dialogue wasn't there at all.

A Fistful of Dollars (1964, dir. Sergio Leone) is one of those movies that's more influential than it is good. It's undeniable how massive of an impact this movie left on film, from practically inventing a lot of what became the Spaghetti Western to launching the career of a young Clint Eastwood, but in my eyes this is a pretty weak movie. A low-budget remake of the classic Kurosawa jidaigeki picture Yojimbo, there's definitely a lot of charm here -- you can already see Sergio Leone's style in its infancy, and Clint Eastwood is as fantastic as ever in his portrayal of the Man with No Name here -- embodying that classic mysterious drifter archetype seemingly effortlessly -- but to my eyes there's just a lot missing here that makes it a sort of drab experience, unfortunately. Still worth a watch, and still very much recommended if you're interested in the history of low-budget film or the history of the Western in general.

Rambo: Last Blood (2019, dir. Adrian Grunberg) is a movie that left me massively conflicted; on the one hand, I want desperately to love the unapologetic throwback to '70s exploitation cinema (in particular, vigilante movies, low-budget spaghetti Westerns, and good old-fashioned splatter) that this movie clings to -- but on the other hand, it fully embodies all the worst elements of those movies and combines them with a pathetic excuse for a plotline, underdeveloped characters, and shoddy effects work. When I think Rambo, I think "Sylvester Stallone in the jungle, mowing down hordes of nameless mooks; this movie, conversely, feels more like a Chuck Bronson Death Wish movie than any of the previous Rambos, and carries all the baggage of that wave of '70s vigilante movies, the good and the bad. The way this movie portrays Mexicans makes me think it was written by a Fox News boomer, and given that Sly is in his 70s it totally might be; to be slightly fair to him this movie was apparently written before the excellent fourth Rambo movie, and its already-tired-in-2010 plotline has aged like milk since then. Not to mention the women characters in this, which are little more than props and only serve to give John Rambo a reason to kill everything in his line of sight, and have no personality beyond "morality pet for 70-year-old veteran guy". So I'm not sure how I felt about this movie on first watch. It is a love letter to all the great low-budget cinema that made loose cannon cowboys and renegade cops cool again, but doesn't seem to have learned at all from the 40 years since then.

For a Few Dollars More (1965, dir. Sergio Leone) is, for my money, the definitive spaghetti Western. Lee van Cleef and Clint Eastwood turn in classic performances as the quintessential badass bounty hunters kicking ass on the Mexican border. I love, love, love bounty hunter stories, and this is one of the great bounty hunter stories of all time -- though, don't try to follow the plot too closely, as it is definitely a bit of a mess, though it's at least a fun one. The first hour or so of this movie is basically all setup, whether that's setting up Clint Eastwood's character, setting up Lee van Cleef's character, them meeting in the bar, them trying to one-up each other, etc. But, once the plotline does kick in, it's a great time, with the villain El Indio being played by the great Gian Maria Volonte (who was also in A Fistful of Dollars), a giggling madman who leads a gang of bank robbers and has a brutal quickdraw hand. The scene in the church, where El Indio murders a man's wife and baby offscreen for selling him out and then forces him into a quickdraw duel, is one of the truly great scenes in Western history; this, also, is where you can see the classic elements of Sergio Leone's style begin to play out -- the extreme close-ups, the drawn-out tension, and of course the bombastic score by Ennio Morricone. And that, finally, is another thing that needs to be noted: this has perhaps one of Morricone's greatest scores; the main title theme is a classic piece of spaghetti Western music, up there with his similarly-incredible scores for Leone's next two pictures. To put it simply: if you like cowboys, if you like Clint Eastwood, or if you just plain like badass motherfuckers doing badass shit, this movie is a must fucking watch. Highly recommended.

Reviewing Parasite (2019, dir. Bong Joon-Ho) without spoiling it is pretty much like holding a hand grenade in your bare hands, so I am going to keep this as short as possible: This movie is at once hilarious and tragic. This movie is a sometimes-brutal satire of capitalism that pulls very few punches. This movie has convinced me that I need to watch Bong Joon-Ho's other stuff as soon as I can, and finally the important part: This movie deserves all of the hype it's been receiving. Highly, highly recommended.

I recently rewatched Kill Bill (2003-04, dir. Quentin Tarantino), and while it definitely isn't one of my favorite Tarantino joints, it's aged pretty well over the last 15, almost 20 years. A doting pastiche of all the '70s exploitation classics Quentin has made a living off his love for, everyone knows what Kill Bill is: A wedding rehearsal in Texas gets shot up -- massacred, in fact. 4 years later, the Bride rises from her coma and decides to get revenge by killing every one of the people that did it: members of an elite assassination team, led by her ex-lover Bill. There's a lot to love here: arterial sprays, limbs flying, white-bearded asshole kung-fu masters, entire scenes in Mandarin, the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, and all the rest. There's also copious amounts of gratuitous shots of Uma Thurman's feet (because, you know, Quentin Tarantino is a bit of a creep), and some absurdly campy dialogue writing (Uma Thurman calling everyone "Bitch" is the big one, it sounds so unnatural) that I can't quite tell whether it's intentionally or unintentionally cheesy. But overall I think this movie is still worth watching in 2020. It's at least as good a use of four hours as Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet is, and unlike Hamlet this has a decapitation in it.

Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood (2019, dir. Quentin Tarantino) may not be my favorite Quentin Tarantino film, but it's almost certainly his best one. It's unlike pretty much anything he ever did, a slow-burn character-driven drama that barely has a central plot at all. Some people say this movie is "about" Charles Manson, but that couldn't be further from the truth; largely, this movie consists of a slice-of-life examination of the late career of an "aging" (read: in his thirties) actor and his best friend and stunt double, played by Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt respectively. Manson and his acolytes only figure into maybe 25 minutes of the movie, 15 or so of those being the climax of the movie where the only real "action" in the movie takes place. I think the slow, low-key nature of this movie plays to Quentin's strong suits far more than just about any of his other movies do: he is at his best when he's writing conversations between the characters he puts so much love into creating, and as far as that goes I'd say this movie puts him in the same league as Mamet. So, if you have 3 hours spare, I'd say this is worth your time and attention for those 3 hours. Check it out.

The Lighthouse (2019, dir. Robert Eggers) is one of those movies that I really am going to need to watch again, but just on first watch: This is abjectly horrifying, and one of only a few movies to genuinely make me uncomfortable and uneasy watching it. To call this movie "scary" would be sort of a misnomer: I'm not "scared" watching these two men going insane, but I am filled with a deep and utter sense of dread as the whole thing proceeds. The atmosphere reminds me most of Vargtimmen, Ingmar Bergman's classic psychological horror masterpiece, with some definite Eraserhead elements thrown in the mix too, along with the period-accurate linguistics and creeping unease of Eggers' last movie, The Witch, which was his debut. We live in a damn great time for horror cinema if people like Robert Eggers and Ari Aster can put out their first two features and have all four of the movies be the magnum-opus level masterclasses in misery and terror that they are. There's clearly some stuff hidden deeper in this film's cracks and crevices that I couldn't glean from my first watch, but even without the stuff I inevitably missed, I highly recommend this movie.

The Irishman (2019, dir. Martin Scorsese) is Scorsese's masterpiece (I think I *like* Goodfellas more, but this is clearly the better movie), and possibly the greatest gangster movie, full stop. At turns an epic, a subtle, quiet drama, and a crushingly dark portrayal of the Mafia, I have never felt more tense watching a movie that isn't trying to scare me in my entire life. There is no romanticisation or pulled punches here. The violence in this movie is few and far between, and it is always, always shocking. Gunshots in this made me tense up and jump, a reaction that I cannot say I've had to guns in any other movie. And the last hour of this movie -- chronicling the demise of Jimmy Hoffa and its repercussions -- is the best thing Scorsese has ever put to film. An unbelievably beautiful work of film. Highly, highly recommended.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (1966, dir. Sergio Leone) is not the perfect masterpiece I expected it to be, but is certainly a damn great film nonetheless. There are some who would call this the greatest Western ever made, and I certainly can see some reasons why that would be the case: fantastic performances from Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef and Eli Wallach, an iconic and classic soundtrack by Ennio Morricone, and one of the greatest final 20-30 minutes of a movie of all time. The hype kinda overblew it for me, though, because even with all the great stuff going for it, this movie has some slightly damning flaws that bring it down a little bit for me, namely the second act being as sluggish as it is; this movie is 3 hours long, and it starts to drag a little bit during the second act. Additionally, I thought it was a strange choice to not develop any of the characters other than Tuco beyond a few key aspects: Clint is calculating, stoic and the fastest gun in the West, and Lee is a sadistic, greedy monster. Tuco (Wallach), at least, gets some more character development, in the scenes where Eastwood and Wallach are at the church nursing Eastwood back to health. I'll definitely need to see this one again sometime soon, but in my eyes I'd rather watch either Once Upon a Time in the West or For a Few Dollars More than this one. Still though, undeniably massively influential and still definitely worth watching. Check it out.

There’s my opinions. See you next month with ten more.

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