#whether shes aware of it or not.. even tho her trust issues arent her fault.. mine arent my fault either

[ghwosty]

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#I will not let my mother impose her own insecurities onto me #yeah its horrible that my moms first husband (not my dad) cheated on her #that must have been fucking awfult to go through #but bc of it she has major trust issues that she never learned to deal with in a healthy way #instead she always wants to assume the worst from people #like tonight.. this morning my boyfriend said he was going to come by after work #later on around the time he was getting off he texted me that his mom urgently needed his help with something and wouldnt be able to come #he told me that he was sorry and that he loves me and even asked when i was getting work sunday so he could pick me up #but of course my mom immediately got all weird like she was suspicious #and it almost made me get insecure.. but i snapped myself put of it cause i really trust my bf #like i get she has trust issues.. but like.. I DO TOO #but ive ya know.. tried to work through them.. maybe im naive but i dont want to go through life assuming everyone wants to hurt me... #but thats how my mom makes me feel and it sucks.. #whether shes aware of it or not.. even tho her trust issues arent her fault.. mine arent my fault either #my trust issues that stem from my childhood trauma are not my fault.. #but im still the one whos responsible for how those internalized issues effect how i treat other humans #but she doesnt get how you cant just use past hurt as an excuse to hurt others