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sanjuno · 4 years

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how do you reckon things would change if Obito and Kakashi remembered their past lives as Izuna and Kanna? (And have you given a past incarnation of Rin in the Warring Era?)

… @deverickracoma you mean, like in canon? Huhhhh…

Well first off before Rin was Nohara Rin she was Senju Touka. Which makes this situation super fun because both Izuna and Kanna died before Hashirama strong armed Konoha into existence and Touka only went along with it because Her Stupid Little Cousins Need Some Common Sense. XP

In her lives as both as Touka and as Rin she holds the single (1) braincell for this Disaster Trio.

So Izuna dies via Tobirama’s sword. And then Kanna kinda… revenge rampages with Madara until the critical angst threshold is reached as Kanna just… explodes both theirself and the battlefield.

There’s a whole lot of background stuff behind the suicide run such as Kanna’s Hatake side suffering from mate-loss depression and their Uchiha side suffering from Makengyou Madness and also Really Bad post-partum depression compounding it and yeah. Unfortunately Madara is just as wrecked from Izuna’s death so he can’t really support Kanna and it all goes to shit because we all know canon is a shitshow.

But anyway Touka is there to see Izuna die and she is well aware that Tobirama has just made a horrible decision driven by unacknowledged jealously and overzealous paranoia. Then Touka barely manages to save Tobirama’s pasty ass from the screaming revenge demon that she later learns was Izuna’s wife. And then Touka stands witness as Hashirama forces peace at sword point.

So Touka is just there like, “Oh for fucks sake we’re all going to die horribly.”

And, of course, Touka was right everything is horrible and everything hurts.

Only now it’s plot-twist time and Touka, who was investigating certain questionable sources about the ongoing breakdown of social order in Konoha gets killed by Zetsu in order to cause even more tension against the Uchiha in Konoha and hey guess what? Yeah, that’s right Rin remembers the creepy plant-demon thing gloating about stealing Uchiha Madara (aka the only one vaguely strong enough to combat Kaguya at that time given he had naturally manifested the Rinnegan) for his own use before Zetsu killed her in a suspiciously ambiguous manner.

Shit.

Fuck.

Four year old Nohara Rin has a vendetta and the ability to kill a grown man.

So obviously given that the Plant Demon is trying to kill off the Uchiha using shadowy assassinations and rumour mongering the Plant Demon is afraid of the Uchiha. Ergo the Uchiha are a threat to the Plant Demon otherwise it would confront the Uchiha more openly.

So.

Rin therefore needs to make super-duper ride-or-die best friends forever with at least one (1) Uchiha. And then, on the first day at the Academy, Rin runs into an absolute dork wearing Madara’s face.

Ah. Says Rin, channelling canon!Madara. That One. That’s The One I Need For My Plan To Succeed.

Cue the Rin and Obito Bonding Moment ™ that will repeat as a flashback every time their history is at any point mentioned in the narrative.

As for Obito, well… when he was Izuna he loved his Clan but then when he was reborn he read the Clan Histories from after his death and the public history of Konoha and Obito knows his Clan are a bunch of fucking traitors who stabbed his big brother in the back and that’s why Obito is both disgusted by the Uchiha and overprotective of the Clan’s reputation because Madara still loved their Clan even after they turned on him.

I may include Obito unearthing Madara’s private journals from a hidden cubby in the Naka Shrine that only Izuna would have known to look for. Just for the sake of an extra knife and also so that Obito can find proof of Zetsu’s sabotaging his brother’s mental health.

Obito is more than a little weepy and sentimental over the fact that Madara honoured Izuna’s last request to the point Madara destroyed himself and his connection to the Clan. Obito can’t blame Madara for giving in when Hashirama forced peace to try and protect the few loyal Clan members who remained. Obito decides to protect Konoha and the Uchiha because he won’t let Madara’s last wish go unfulfilled but he’s going to become the fucking Hokage and tear out all the Senju-inflicted rot infecting his Big Brother’s Dream.

Obito is openly disdainful of the Clan Elders and the only people he even vaguely respects is the Head Family. Mostly because Mikoto is descended from Izuna’s daughter and even though Izayoi married “Tobirama’s student Kagami” she was still his baby girl and Mikoto is his great-grand daughter and he loves her because she’s his family.

Mikoto, Obito, and Shisui are all descendants of Kagami and Izayoi’s kids so they’re second-third cousins. Obito spends a lot of time pondering the overlap of self-care and I-love-my-grandbabies. It’s a fun little exercise in existentialism.

In the meantime Kakashi is still a little shit-disturber of the highest order. Kanna was taught all the fun Uchiha Clan Skills as Izuna’s wife and now Kakashi has learned all the fun Hatake Clan Skills from Sakumo and the little bastard is even more terrifying than canon. Kakashi is more gender-fluid than agender the way Kanna was though which is a fun new flavour of dysphoria-through-reincarnation that I’ll probably enjoy exploring.

Now, this does mean that Kakashi starts wearing his mask before Sakumo gets scapegoated which is a minor yet still significant change from Kakashi’s canon characterization-and-motivations.

So Kakashi blitzes their way through the Academy in like, 6 months because Kakashi has negative chill and an understandably paranoid focus on keeping their dad alive this time around. The only people Kakashi respects are the Military Police and their Dad everyone else can perish. Minato is A Constant Despair because he cannot control this sassy hell child Sakumo-sempai pls tell your son to l i s t e n t o m e.

Sakumo-sempai goes “LOL nope” because Sakumo is also a troll but is better at hiding it than Kakashi is.

So Rin and Obito are BFFs then Kakashi rips through their class like ground lightning and the sparring scene happens but the kickback of Uchiha-memories manifesting as body action means the spar is a familiar dance and so Obito is like “OMG K a n n a” and cue Obito stalking Kakashi like a schoolgirl with an obsessive crush and no concept of personal boundaries.

Enough shenanigans occur to 1. make Team Minato a cohesive and functional thing instead of a train wreck, and 2. keep Sakumo alive because Kakashi recognizes their Dad’s suicidal tendencies for what they are and so they set their ninken up as watchdogs to make sure Sakumo doesn’t do anything stupid. Because Kakashi’s biggest regret is leaving Madara and Izayoi to suffer grief without them and they refuse to let that sort of despair take away anyone they care about again.

So now Team Minato is bonding, and they are friends, and they are all slowly coming to the realization that they all remember their previous lives. So they start to share information and gradually piece together where Zetsu’s influence has been applied as they try to figure out what the Plant Demon’s endgame is.

Which means that Team Minato is 100% more paranoid about mission intelligence than they were in canon and also Rin more than ready to gut the Iwa-nin who tries to kidnap her during the Kannabi Bridge Mission so that’s fun. Team Minato has also made a point system for rooting out moles, spies, and traitors to hand over to T&I.

Sarutobi had a lovely headache when the knowledge that Sakumo’s mission had been sabotaged “accidentally” got leaked. (Kakashi had given the old man more than enough time to fix the rumour mill so it’s on Sarutobi’s own head that he didn’t take action before Kakashi did.)

Also Team Chaos Gremlins Minato manages to charm Orochimaru over to their camp via one of Obito’s rage fuelled rants about dismantling the hypocritical indoctrination of the institutionalized status quo. Specifically, the fact that the Hokage is supposed to be a public service position voted on by the people who only really has complete executive power during war time. Instead of a unilateral dictator chosen by the previous Hokage’s undisguised bias and favouritism.

Also because they’re all proof of the reincarnation cycle existing. Orochimaru is living his best life especially when Team Minato trash talks the other two Sannin.

Rin is the Most Offended by Tsunade fucking off and abandoning her responsibilities. Tsunade basically inherited all of Hashirama’s worst traits without any obvious redeeming qualities to balance it out. Because, let’s be honest, the only reason Hashirama got any level of respect is because he was Over Powered to the point of ridiculousness and because Tobirama plus Mito were in charge of his public image.

Kakashi and Obito are both hyper-loyal so having Jiraiya decide to just not come back during wartime and for Tsunade to abandon her responsibilities as a healer and Clan Head has destroyed any possible respect they might have had.

Obviously Orochimaru is the best Sannin so he’s the one they’re going to make friends with. Also they drag Orochimaru back to the Hatake Clan House to commiserate with Sakumo about being the target of a Village wide smear campaign. Which strengthens both Orochimaru and Sakumo’s spirits enough to resist their Bad Endings from canon.

All of this basically allows Team Minato to have the leverage to track down Zetsu’s creeper cave and they find Madara trapped and blinded and leashed to the Gedo Mezo, and Obito nearly has a world-destroying breakdown. Rin stands guard while Obito and Kakashi have a tearful reunion with Madara and there’s a lot of dramatic apologizing and sobbing.

They all know that they can’t leave Madara here with Zetsu, but detaching him means he’s going to die. Eventually Madara makes the decision himself to break the connection because he refuses to be used as a hostage against his little brother. So Madara tells Obito where his eyes are (which means that the Ame trio are going to get kidnapped by Team Minato eventually) plus a run-down of all the subversive plots Zetsu has had a hand in, and then Madara outright smashes the statue.

Normally nothing would be able to destroy the Gedo Mezo given that it’s basically the fossilized corpse of a god but Madara is currently part of it which means that the statue’s defences don’t realize Madara is a threat. So, statue goes boom, the cave starts to collapse, and Team Minato runs away with Madara’s body so they can give him a respectful burial.

Zetsu has approximately ten thousand aneurysms in the space of one (1) second.

From here the kickback really starts to pile up because Obito now makes a habit of dropping in on newborn Uchiha to check and see if Madara’s been reborn yet. Which means that Sasuke has a really invested older cousin hanging around to take Itachi’s place when Itachi make dumb decisions.

Rin is grumpy because basically every Clan who joined Konoha had a bunch of Senju marry into their Clan so finding Hashirama’s reincarnation is basically impossible. (And then, of course, Naruto is born and Rin faceplams 1000 times because of fucking course.)

Kakashi is laughing at both of them. Right up until they take command of Team 7 and notice a hated familiar chakra under the skin of a pink haired little girl. (All three members of Team Minato nearly die laughing because Tobirama is a pink haired little girly girl heeeeee~)

Anyway aside from all the family drama Team Minato also manages to dispose of Danzo and exposes his “plot against the Hokage”, boosting Sakumo’s public image to the point he gets named as the Fourth, fixing the stigma Orochimaru faced despite being the only loyal member of the Sannin, and basically terrorizing Konoha with Political Activism.

Zetsu probably goes a bit around the bend thanks the Team Minato destroying all his hopes and dreams plans. Also they keep putting the pressure on and exposing Zetsu’s schemes and eventually that gains enough momentum that the other Villages are taking a good hard look at shit that’s going down and hey wait w h a t t h e f u c k …

Obito eventually takes over as the Fifth Hokage and tears apart the corrupt government systems like a Tasmanian Devil going through a rotting carcass because Big Brother’s Dream Will Become A Reality B E L I E V E I T !

The End. XP

#Sanjuno talks back #the memory remains #Sanjuno metafic #reincarnation AUs

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purple-possibilities · 7 years

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For your "Send Me a Character" could you do Tenzo if no one has asked yet? I hate that you are sick! I hope you feel better soon, Captain. I'd make you chicken noodle soup and tell you sweet MadaKaka stories if you weren't so far away.

Aww thank you berry! You know just what a girl needs to feel better lol! Also, I keep switching between Yamato and Tenzou, because I can never decide on what to call him. He wants to be called Yamato, but I personally like Tenzou better, but I want to respect this fictional character’s wishes, so I call him Yamato, but then the ask framed him as Tenzou so idk here i am, floating along.

First impression

No. No no nonono. I want Kakashi. I don’t want this whoever he is, bring back Kakashi. So what, he can make a box and has a scary face, who would honestly be scared by that it’s dumb. He’s dumb. Where’s Kakashi? Why is Kakashi gone? I don’t care I want Kakashi bring him back bringhimbackbringhimbaaaaaack

Impression now

My wonderous tree child, love of my life, apple of my eye, poor, precious baby who has been abadoned by his creator and forced to become a joke while he follows around the source of his trauma, you deserved better. This world was not good enough for you. Sweet angel, I want only soft and lovely things for you. Also, boy is cut. Have you seen those arms? Did you watch the filler episode where he’s soaking in an undergound hotspring shirtless (during the arc where they’re shipping him out with Naruto to the Turtle Island in Lightening)? DID YOU SEE THAT? Because that was when I started thinking ol’cat eyes was attractive.

Favorite moment

When Naruto, Kakashi, and Tenzou were at Ichiraku, and Yamato was trying to get Kakashi to pay the bill because he’s the upperclassman, and Kakashi tricks my poor, sweet, lovely, marshmellow Tenzou into paying for their meal. Precious child, you’re too good and pure for this world. So much love for Yamato.

Idea for a story

Tenzou and Tobirama meet. They bond over having the same face-plate, and being practical ninja who take safety seriously. Alright, alright, a serious one. Tenzou was born Senju Nawaki. Dazou (being an utter bastard) totally fucking kidnapped him for experimentation, and switched him with another baby (who becomes the canon Nawaki. I’m going to say Orochin wasn’t a total ass at this point and wouldn’t have experimented on Nawaki for Tsunade’s sake, so Dazou never told him the truth of the child’s lineage). That is why Tenzou has the Wood Release. Not because Orochimaru’s experiments were successful, but because Tenzou had the ability (or latent ability) in the first place. The experiments would have killed anyone else, but the Uzumaki longevity kept him alive. The child who replaced him and is canonically known as Nawaki died because he was not an Uzumaki (like Tsunade is, by Mito). It made canon Nawaki unable to withstand the same levels of trauma, which led to his death at a young age. This gets uncovered after ROOT is brought to pieces, after the war, and Tsunade and Tenzou develop the sibling relationship they should have had from the start. It’s about mutual healing, and while Tenzou isn’t a replacement for the boy Tsunade loved like a brother, he is a chance at having a family again. He becomes Senju Yamato, and Tsunade is always teasing him to give her nieces and nephews. Yamato blushes redder than a tomato every time, of course. “N-n-ne-nee-sama! D-don’t say things like that!” "Stop it with the ‘sama,’ otouto! Call me neechan” “bu-but Hokage-i mean-nee-sama, I can’t! You’re the hokage!” and then Tsunade gives the hat over to Kakashi because she just wants to live a peaceful life with her new brother and also so Yamato will stop having excuses to address her as her ‘sama,’ but it’s a constant struggle.

Unpopular opinion

I don’t know how unpopular this is, but it’s the one I’ve got; Yamato being forced to follow Orochimaru around isn’t funny. Let me say that again for those of you in the back;

YAMATO BEING FORCED TO FOLLOW OROCHIMARU AROUND ISN’T FUNNY!

Look, I get it. It’s a cartoon. But the idea of having to trail the person who abused me by torturing me as a lab experiment so soon after I just finished being another madman’s lab experiment because of the shit the first guy did to me is so fucked up. Can you imagine, having to face your abuser while recovering from another string of abuse? I mean, he was a child, he was helpless. Maybe becoming a ninja helped with that. He got strong. He can protect himself. Never again will he be taken in by a psycho trying to use his DNA—OH WAIT HE FUCKING WAS! He was hooked up to a crazy tree, had the life pretty much sucked out of him because of the fucking DNA Orochishitface put in him, was made to be helpless again, and now it’s cool for him to be spying on the single person responsible for everything bad that’s ever happened to him, and it’s supposed to be funny? It’s cruel. And yes, ok, he’s a fictional character. I get it. But you know what? It’s dumb storytelling. You basically erased the character’s past for a gag. There were a million other things Yamato could have been doing. Have him working in the Hokage’s office protecting Kakashi. Give him a Family and make him a Tree Dad (Shizune is single, there you go. Let’s paste together a relationship for him. He’s interacted with her more than Kiba has interacted with the chick they got to be his wife). Fuck, maybe Yamato is too traumatised and so he opens an orphanage so that no children will have to go though what he did. Maybe Yams goes on a journey to find himself, collecting street urchins as he goes. Maybe he opens up a Flower Shop and is now Rivals with Ino because his flowers and plants are always better (she complains all the time over him ‘cheating’ and sends Sai out to sabotage him. There are constant mini-wars between the Yamanakas and Tenzou. He’s usually ahead, because any damage they cause to his store he can rebuild in a second, while they actually have to rebuild (or wait for Yamato to feel guilty enough to fix it for them—Sakura is always trying to convince him to leave it; anything to one up Ino). Maybe Yams starts growing herbs and stuff for the hospital? Maybe the story I mentioned in the last bit comes to pass. I don’t know, but I just thought of those on the fly and they’re already better ideas than being forced into a “comedy” routine with fucking Oroshitfucker.

Favorite relationship

We don’t really get to see many of his relationships except with Kakashi, so that wins by default. I do like that they both kind of saved each other—Kakashi saving Tenzou from ROOT was just as important as Tenzou saving Kakashi from himself. Both of them were drowning, smothered by traumas and hurts and just shitty fucking lives, and then they rescued each other. So it started off very balanced between the two of them, they were on even footing. Of course, Tenzou—who had never really had a relationship up to that point—puts distance between them by giving Kakashi a position of power over him (even if it’s just by calling him senpai) and kind of ruins that. You can’t really build a steady, healthy relationship when there’s an uneven power dynamic in place. Kakashi is always trying to get Yamato to address him without the honourific, but poor Tenzou is just like but…but…you saved me senpai I love you *heart eyes* and Kakashi is just like why do I always attract the weird ones? What’s kind of tragic, is that Tenzou’s gratefulness and admiration towards Kakashi is was makes him want to address Kakashi as his senpai, but it’s that show of adoration and respect that is keeping Kakashi at a distance. In this way, Yamato is the obstacle keeping himself from what he wants. Poor tree man :’(

Favorite headcanon

This is actually something @fineillsignup wrote (I’m pretty sure? I hope so), but I love the idea of Yamato calling Kakashi ‘Hokage-senpai’ instead of ‘Hokage-sama.’ It’s cute and super Yamato and I love it. It’s official, this is how Tenzou addresses Kakashi. Fight me.

Here is the ask! Send in a character! Up next is Gai, then Genma, Hidan, Adult!Obito, Rock Lee, and Ino!

Already done: Madara, Kakashi, Shino

#yamato tenzou #thecalamityqueen #character ask #answered asks #ask meme #so much love for yamato #sibi talks about naruto #yamato #tenzou #tenzo #yamato tenzo

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