#when he was wheelchair-bound and couldnt go anywhere. so she kept him company. and then after he died she did the same for me

[electoons]

guys this "keeping myself busy with distractions so I don't get sad" thing isn't working

#my mom is basically scrubbing the house of all traces of her bc thats how she copes. thats what she did when dad died #like two days later she was cleaning out all his medical equipment and stuff #i guess thats a way of dealing with it :( just doesnt really work for me because it makes me feel their absence even harder #like for me i personally wanted to keep Dad's stuff around for a while because. idk i guess it just felt like he was still kind of there #in a way. i guess. i dunno #obviously losing a pet is easier to deal with than losing a parent but it still blows dude i hate this #(* a parent that you had a good relationship with. i know that im very fortunate in that regard. not everyone had that and i need to count #my blessings) #idk this feels harder than losing my childhood dog because jojo was basically my constant companion for the past several years #after dad died i got suicidally depressed and didnt leave the house and was unemployed for a good chunk of time and she kept me company #taking her for walks and hikes was the only thing i enjoyed doing and the only thing that got me out of the house. she was always there #(also there's probably some psychological component to the fact that we adopted her specifically to be a companion for dad #when he was wheelchair-bound and couldnt go anywhere. so she kept him company. and then after he died she did the same for me #so. idk. like.... i feel like theres something there lol) #mia.txt #animal death