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#what if it just fades. whatever happens happens ig. i took them a leaf compressed in a poetry book from
oatbugs
·
1 year
Text
they r soooo. anyway
#lol um anyway . i kissed them for the first time yesterday but it literally feels like a yr ago but it also feels like today
#on a bridge at night against a cityscape. river looked like a painting...etc it was nice . and then. yh theres a lot to talk abt
#so i dont wanna say it all rn bc im tired but yeah. they r . sooo. pretty cool etc etc. whatever im fine im just . angry that i dont get to
#see them that often bc they live in a diff city etc. also took them to a spot which usually is like . relatively busy bc london is busy all
#the time but it was cold and it was at night so there were like 0 people there. the view was so good but other things were better
#also kissing smn w a vertical labret is actually just >>>
#lol en ee way i miss them
#im soo overwhelmed w life rn and theyre not rly helping but like. in a good way
#i told my friend to lmk if he notices that im becomjng too engaged w romance to the point where im neglecting academics
#and he immidiately said it. like according to him im thinking abt her too much when i should be thinkint abt philosophy too much
#which is like. idk if that's true bc ik he has a rly skewed perspective bf he kind of swore off datint
#etc but at the same time . wbat if hes right. omg. but also let me have this Moment
#that was last week when i was forcefully taken to manchester by a university society . like we hadnt even kissed yet
#i fell asleep bc ive been so exhausted and when i woke up i realised they briefly appeared in a dream i had
#and then i started tearing up out of Fear bc like . whenever ive lost smn i loved the dreams were the worst
#like . good dreams. were horrible. and now its like what if this turns out horrible ? but i dont wanna self sabotage bc i rly rly rly like
#them . i gave them a rose and on the train home i could stop staring at their hands holding the rose
#and i know theyve liked me for months and i know theyve been waiting for months but somehow its still like
#what if it just fades. whatever happens happens ig. i took them a leaf compressed in a poetry book from
#a book shop we found on our second date tgth. they gave me a necklace w a small vial and a tiny flower inside
#its so pretty. thinking abt the way they put it on me + when they wrapped their arms around me when i was cooking for them etc etc
#im FINE its FINE its OKAY . whatever !!!!!
#[chroma blue]
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