#wcgtf

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

Actually and literally kicking my feet and giggling like I know you can’t see but I am - MIC ANON

Anyways while I have you gimme the most toe curling most delicious most tastiest Barty + Remus headcanons you have (platonic or otherwise, because I just read WCGS and am obsessed) 🎤

good evening mic anon. how lovely it is to come home after a strenuous day of work to your contagious enthusiasm. kisses your forehead tenderly

ok i got a few for you lol

first remus and barty dont penetrate each other. like they dont fuck. they always, always end up furiously making out or dry humping or jerking each other off but they never end up fucking. its just not a thing they do. they dont wanna. they're like..... shy about it. i think theyre just not comfortable being that vulnerable with each other and they can come just by kissing anyways so thats that

and its always in very private moments. none of their friends know and they will never know. ever. barty and remus find each other incidentally. its always like they both somehow end up smoking a cigarette at the same time outside of the bar in the alley and theyre both talking casually trying to avoid and suppress the feeling yknow. the i wanna kiss you right now feeling. but it always ends up happening and its ravenous. for sure they lick each others faces

remus is usually the initiator. not cause barty isn't brave or wtv but more like remus is really impatient and kinda just wants to get off real quick. wants to be in control of the decisions that are being made.

their relationship is very cis man vibes like.....idk how to describe it but other than doing gay shit together they dont really talk about feelings or whats going on in their lives its just always stuff like music and movies and other people's gossip. its a lot of nodding and look into the distance and making jabs at each other

remus is waaaay more in denial about it than barty. barty's cool with it honestly he's like ok im down to make out. slut me out. remus is more anal retentive. he's like that ferris bueller quote "his asshole is so tight that if you put a lump of coal in it, in two weeks you'd have a diamond." he often kinda freaks out about it and bartys like alright now man it aint that serious

barty is not really good at being submissive like even when he's bottoming he's like barking commands and trying to tear at the other person's throat with his teeth but with remus its like he just goes completely pliant. he's trembling he's like what. what am i supposed to do he's going so fast. remus doesn't give barty time to be anything because its just a quick fuck to him. just blowing off some steam. so barty kinda gets to let himself be manhandled. barty's spindly enough that remus can just grab his arms and shake him around like a straw stuffed doll lol

umm what else? oh yeah the only time shit gets kinda real between them and they can say earnest things to each other is when they're high or very very drunk. its messy. its forget i just said that and i dont know why im like this and we should really stop. theyre not each other's secret keepers they got other people for that

they do eventually stop when things between remus and sirius start to get real and the only thing that binds them together is their friends. they become normal around each other again when a lot of time has passed and theyre both dating other people and it just becomes this like haha. we did that.

#mic anon #anon #aaawww two manwhores #thank you for this scrumptious question #remus x barty #wcgtf