Tongue-tied
Or, 6 times Jael almost told her best friend she loved him + 1 she did, for the @wayfarer-week 6+1 prompt, bc it fits too well for my poor smitten girl.
---
Jael’s heart first betrayed her a year before graduation, on an evening bathed in moonlight.
And it was so simple it almost made it worse. She and Aeran were up one of the abandoned towers in the Spire, their spot, talking about nothing and everything and eating toasted apples she’d liberated from the kitchen. Aeran laughed at something she said, and the way the moon’s glow caught him just then; easy smile and a twinkle in his eyes, sent Jael’s heart in a swan dive toward the ground several stories below. She almost dropped her apple after it when the warmth of realization hit. Moonlight looked good on him.
She must’ve stared too long, because Aeran snorted and nudged her knee with his foot. “I have apple on my face or something, Jae?”
For half a second she almost told him the truth. I really wanna kiss you right now. “Just enjoying the moonlight,” she said, biting fiercely into her apple and burning her tongue, “your face happens to be in the way.”
He rolled his eyes--“Oh, so it’s improving the view?”--and punched her shoulder and she played along.
The rush of... feelings, desire, whatever it had been, was safely buried by the time they finished their apples and went to bed.
Graduation was soon, even if she was reckless enough to gamble their friendship over a random crush(that would probably go away in a few days), this close to leaving wasn’t the time.
It’ll clear up, it’s better not to say anything.
---
Aeran found her sprawled in the grass, sunlight between branches above dappling her shirt as she stared at the shiny silver medallion now looped around her neck. “Leaving in the morning?”
Jael started and tucked the Wayfarer pendent inside her shirt. “Two more days. There’s some remedy Varyn wants me to have along that needs to finish brewing or something. What about you?”
He nodded, as she’d feared he would, as he flopped down next to her. His own medallion glinted briefly in the sun. “There’s a rumor out near Ilis. It sounds like a Wayfarer problem and Sero thinks I’m the answer.”
Something in her chest clenched. With so few Wayfarer, it made sense to send out more as soon as they were available. She’d just hoped for more time. Aeran was such a constant in her life, she hated the thought of losing him--even if she’d known this day was coming.
Her heart did an odd little twist at the thought of not seeing him after tomorrow, that he’d be gone from her life for who knew how long. “Aeran, I-”
‘-think I love you,’ but it was terrible timing, they were both leaving, she couldn’t drop that on him now. Especially if it was just a crush.
“-I’m gonna miss you, you know?”
“Ditto,” he said with a gentle smile, bumping his shoulder to hers. “Hopefully we’ll cross paths sometimes, but it’ll be weird not seein’ you every day.”
“Very weird,” she agreed, bumping his shoulder back. That was true, regardless of anything else.
Aeran chuckled and propped himself up on one elbow. “One last visit to our spot?”
Jael grinned, shoving him back into the grass as she scrambled to her feet. “Race you, Kellis!”
“You-!” There was a laugh in his voice. “Oh, you’re on, Aizura!”
It was so easy to pretend her pounding heart was from exertion rather than the sight of his full smile when he claimed victory. (Less easy to believe it, though)
---
It was three years before their paths crossed. Both heard the same rumor--a fannarl near Sarin--from opposite directions. Despite the years apart, it was easy as breathing to fight together. To fall back in synch, to work as one. Halves of a whole. The Masters would scold her for thinking like that; Wayfarer were by nature solitary. she shouldn’t be binding her effectiveness to another. She didn’t care. Not when Aeran sent her a grin flush with victory before moving to reclaim his spent arrows. Jael wiped dripping acid from her gear as she stepped to help.
“Good to see you haven’t lost your edge,” she teased, plucking an arrow from just below the fannarl’s eye.
“Or you your reckless streak,” Aeran retorted with a laugh. He braced one boot near the deep slash in the fannarl’s chest to pull out an arrow.
“What can I say, you bring out the best in me.” Jael grabbed another arrow from the beast’s flank, and another from the ground, grinning as she passed them all back. It was more true than her joking tone let on. Running into him like this had stirred up feelings she thought she’d relegated to daydreams. But they did make a really good team.
Aeran laughed and they sat, sharing a boulder, so they could clean their weapons.
“You don’t have to wait for me, if you have somewhere else to be,” Aeran said, clearing the blue-black ichor from his arrowheads. “I know this part’s boring for you.”
“I think I can tough it out,” Jael snarked, wiping down her blade.
“When you have such wonderful company?” Aeran paused to bump her shoulder.
“Exactly.” She fell silent, watching him as he worked. His tan was deeper, the muscles in his arms more defined than when they’d parted, and she had to very deliberately push down the flutter in her gut.
So, that crush is still there...
And it stayed a flutter in the background as they finished cleaning weapons and headed back into town, as they found somewhere that would serve them and shared a drink before heading separate ways. Persistent and annoying in its subtlety until the words blurted unbidden from her mouth.
“Hey, Aeran?”
“Hm?” he grunted over the rim of his mug.
But no. No, she couldn’t bring this up now. That was silly.
“...Got any badass stories?”
He set down the mug and grinned. “I’ll share mine if you share yours.”
“Deal.”
---
The next time she saw him, her emotions were already raw. Not an open wound, but a bruise subjected to unnecessary poking.
Her door was half open, his knock cursory.
“Heard you were here,” Aeran said, bypassing the perfectly good chairs to sit next to her on the bed.
“Yeah.” It was rare for Wayfarer to return to the Spire, Jael no more wanted to dwell on why it had been her instinct to do so after this mission than she did on the miracle of Aeran being here at the same time.
“Also heard you cornered your prey neat Brennath,” he commented.
“Yeah.” She was quiet for a long moment, and he let her be and she loved him more for it. “I didn’t visit them.”
He didn’t say anything, just watched her turn her medallion over and over in her hands.
“I was tempted,” she admitted, tracing the Wayfarer sigil. There was so much she wondered about the place she once called home. What had changed. What was the same. “But I didn’t.”
Sated curiosity wasn’t worth the ripping open of old wounds, the hurt that was likely to come with it.
“I don’t blame you,” Aeran said softly, giving her shoulder a gentle nudge.
She slipped her hand in his. “Don’t need them, anyway. No point looking back.”
Aeran squeezed her hand. He knew how she’d wondered. How she’d dreamed. How much this choice had hurt even if it was the right call.
“‘M glad I have you, Aeran,” Jael mumbled, nudging his shoulder back. Glad enough she wasn’t going to ask why he was here, just be grateful.
“Yeah.”
The confession sat on the tip of her tongue, but something held it back. She wasn’t sure what; maybe the same fear that kept her from visiting her clan. Wondering was better than rejection.
She got her second tattoo before she set out again, a raven on her shoulder, to acknowledge her past and how it shaped her. If Aeran noticed the raven was posed as if landing on her other tattoo--the geometric lines that mirrored his--he didn’t say anything.
So Jael didn’t either.
---
The words were almost driven from her, unbidden, at Karth. Between the strength of her relief and the strength of Aeran’s hug, the confession teetered on spilling free.
I thought I lost you, I’m pretty sure I love you, I don’t want to hide it anymore-
But a shudder rippled through their hug, though Jael couldn’t tell if it came from her or him, and she buried her face against the side of his neck.
He was here. Aeran was here, warm and solid and alive, even if he wasn’t the same. There would be time another day.
For now she was going to hug her best friend and thank the stars she still had him.
---
“So what do you think we’ll find in Velantis?”
Jael leaned cautiously against the ships rail. The bandages were off, her strength mostly returned, but two things remained--the marks of the basilisk’s coils just below her ribcage and the shift in Aeran’s demeanor. There’d always been a level of casual affection between them; bumping shoulders, side hugs, hands or knees brushing when they sat together.
But it was different since boarding the Dareia; a tenderness in his touch, a lingering to his looks, hardly leaving her side. Jael was pretty sure she knew the reason. It had been her call(fuck the Count, fuck the chalice, fuck this miserable swamp of a city) and he’d followed because she talked him into it and she’d almost gotten herself killed. Dwelling on the hypotheticals of why that made him like this was a hope Jael didn’t want to give herself unless it was going to go somewhere.
So she’d stick to more solid, relevant hypotheticals instead.
“Oh, you know. Money, power, corruption. Guild mages.” Aeran practically spat the last one as he joined her, so close their shoulders brushed. “Just an all around good time.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” Jael said lightly, curling her pinkie around his.
“I feel so much better,” he snarked, but something in his eyes said he at least halfway meant it.
“I’ll always have your back, Aeran,” she emphasized, leaning into their contact.
He sobered, staring out through the ocean spray. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Jae.”
She opened her mouth to insist she’d keep this one if it killed her, tell him why, but another voice cut across before she got a word out.
“Wayfarers!” Malsara called, “Zenaida would speak with you.”
With matching sighs and a final grin, Jael and Aeran pushed away from the rail to follow.
This was for the best, Jael told herself as Aeran’s fingers brushed the back of her hand. She really should wait.
---
They were batched in moonlight, again, when her resolve broke. Her walls and worries had been worn down by this fucking day; Quirinus, the gala, Velantian politics, Lethalis.
Their fight.
She’d heard it was the ones you knew and loved who could hurt you the deepest and Aeran had proved it tonight in spades. But she still loved him, bone-deep and inescapable, which was why she was here instead of some party. Standing in one of the most luxurious rooms she’d ever seen, highlighted by soft moonglow as her best friend looked at her with tears in his eyes and apologized.
“I could never hate you, Jael.”
And the truth finally bubbled unhindered to the surface as she dug her fingers into his wonderfully curly mop of hair and tugged him in for a kiss.
A wordless confession, but all they needed right now.
They knew each other that well.
And her heart sang with joy unspeakable when Aeran melted into her and kissed her back, fingers tangling in the draped fabric of her serithan.
Finally finally finally.
Her hand cupped his cheek, his the back of her neck, foreheads touching as their breath mingled.
“Aeran.”
“Jae.”
“I just want to be here with you tonight.”
“I’d like that.”
And for just that night, no matter what came with morning, everything felt right with the world.
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one more for @wayfarer-week, this time for prompt 6: flirt
Fandom: Wayfarer IF | Words: 669 | Read on Ao3
Illia Strand x Aeran Kellis (pre-relationship) | after Karth, pre game
rating: T. Flirting, bad habits, hoping for the best
Flirt
“So, you’re new here?”
The voice is melodic and Illia turns towards the man next to her, even if she almost laughs at their obvious conversation starter. She’s done worse herself, and she does look like – is a mercenary, and doesn’t look like a local in any way.
“I’m just passing through.” She looks the man up and down, lifting an eyebrow at his shimmering silver wings and teal crest sparkling on his forehead like little raindrops. Altogether it’s quite stunning. “And you? You don’t look like you’re from around here either.”
He laughs, and his laugh is lovely too.
“I’ve settled here some years ago. It’s a nice place here and there’s enough to do for me.” He takes a drink from his glass. “Name’s Elen.”
“Nice to meet you Elen. I’m Illia. What do you do here?”
“I make and repair instruments, there’s enough musicians here. Requires a deft hand, you know.”
He winks and heat rises in Illia’s cheeks. It’s an easy enough thing to fall into, grinning and running and hand through her hair, flexing her arm. Once they seek her out, she found that most people like the tattoo, and she’s happy to oblige, even if she hasn’t done this lately. She looks at Elen’s hands, but her gaze is drawn to his wings. He notices, and they shiver and fan out a little.
“You look like you’ve traveled far, Illia, I don’t doubt you’ve met an Aeda before,” he goes on, “but if you’re curious perhaps you’d like to touch them?”
Her throat is suddenly dry, and she drinks again before she answers. She knows what next and it always matters, whether it’s one way or the other.
“You might prefer me not to,” she says, “I’m a magianis.”
That’s all she wants to say for now, though part of her bristles against it. Wayfarer, Wayfarer, but it’s better to leave it be. She should stop and leave regardless, but she waits instead.
Elen startles slightly, and looks her up and down, taking in her sword and armor and dusty travel clothes.
“I see. I’ve heard that is quite an experience, Illia,” he draws and leans closer. “Maybe we can find out in private?”
She can work with that, and perhaps pretend that this time the morning after will be different. He’s pretty enough that she might not care what happens, how much she’ll hate that he’ll be gone before she wakes.
“Illia, there you are!” a voice calls across the inn.
Aeran.
She turns to him and smiles automatically as he makes his way towards her. She remembers why she’s not doing this anymore.
“I have to go, Elen. It was nice meeting you – perhaps some other time.”
Elen reaches for her, and he doesn’t startle all – perhaps he’s more well-traveled than she expected.
“Are you alright,” he says in a low voice.
“He’s my friend, it’s fine. I hope you have a great evening.”
He sighs a little and leans away from her.
“You too, Illia. Safe travels.”
She gets up and meets Aeran, leaving Elen at the bar.
“What was that about, Lia?”
“Nothing. Just a guy.”
She shakes her head. She’s stopped doing this, after she met with Aeran on that fateful afternoon in Karth. She’s no need for the empty feeling when someone eventually shies away, once they’ve had their curiosity sated. She’s spent too much time hoping some quick romp will fill the emptiness inside.
“I’ve inquired about the giant rats,” Aeran says. “Apparently, they spit fire. He’s offering 25 crowns to get rid of them.”
“So, we’re doing it?”
Aeran grins, and nods.
She wants to reach for him, and she knows he won’t shy away. He’s right there, like a bit of sunshine in her life; some days, he’s the only happy thing in her life. A familiar comfort, tugging at her heart. She isn’t sure if he feels the same, but they’re here together and right now she doesn’t need anything or anyone else.
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