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canmom · 3 months

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The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, 000-012

Or, what if that mural was the heart of a web serial.

I'm reading The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere, thanks largely to the enthusiasm of @azdoine and @lukore on my dash over the last few months.

This is absolutely not gonna be a liveblog in the level of detail of the great Umineko liveblog project. Rather I'm gonna be aiming at something like the comics comints series or those occasional posts on anime. Or indeed what I wrote about Worth The Candle last year. I must create a robot whose purpose is to watch to see if I start writing detailed plot summaries and hit me with a stick labelled 'remember you have a job now'.

That outta the way, let's talk flower!

youtube

No, not that flower!

I will start with an anecdote. When I was at university, I ended up attending a talk by court alchemist senescence researcher Aubrey de Grey, who at that time did not yet have a 'sexual harassment allegations' section on his Wikipedia page. The main thing that struck me at the time was his rather spectacularly long beard. But I did listen to his talk about ending aging.

de Grey's schtick is that he, like many people in the transhumanist milieu, believes that medical technology is on the cusp of being able to prevent aging sufficiently well to prolong human lifespans more or less indefinitely. He believes that the different processes of aging can be understood in terms of various forms of accumulating cellular 'damage', and that these will begin to be addressed within present human lifespans, buying time for further advancements - so that (paraphrasing from memory) 'the first immortals have already been born'. He has some pretty graphs to demonstrate this point.

At that talk, one of the audience members asked de Grey the (in my view) very obvious question about whether access to this technology would be distributed unevenly, creating in effect an immortal ruling class. de Grey scoffed at this, saying he always gets this question, and basically he didn't think it would be a big deal. I forget his exact words, but he seemed to assume the tech would trickle down sooner or later, and this was no reason not to pursue it.

I'm sure de Grey is just as tired of being reminded of how unbalanced access to medical technology is in our current world, or the differences in average life expectancy between countries.

So, I was very strongly reminded of de Grey as The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere laid out its major thematic concerns and characters. I was also put in mind of many online arguments in the transhumanist milieu about whether it would be a good thing, in principle, to end death.

In particular, of course, comes to mind transhumanist Nick Bostrom's short story The Fable of the Dragon-Tyrant, in which death is likened to a huge dragon that demands to be fed trains full of humans every day. In the story, humanity's scientists secretly build a giant gun to kill the dragon. Naturally, despite all the doubters and naysayers who foolishly feel obliged to justify the existence of the dragon, the gun works. Bostrom's imagery is incredibly heavy-handed (particularly the trains à la Auschwitz), but just in case you didn't get it, he also spells out the moral explicit at the end: basically, every day not spent putting resources to abolishing death is adding up more and more bodies to the pile of people who don't get to be immortal.

So far, Flower seems to be shaping up to be a critical intervention into that milieu, with a much more grounded view of death and a much stronger model of society - admittedly not a high bar but it's going good so far!

At the time of writing this commentary, I have read the prologue and first two six-chapter arcs, namely Mankind's Shining Future (1-6) and Pilgrimage to the Deep (7-12).

the general shape of things

We are introduced - from the perspective of sardonic, introverted Su, who is going to be the protagonist of our time loop - to a group of brilliant young medical wizards, who have just been invited to visit the headquarters of a secret society whose mission is precisely to abolish death. Su's grandfather was some kind of controversial luminary who was expelled this organisation, and he also did something to her, which is giving her some kind of ulterior motive to find her way into this society.

We know pretty much from the outset that this is a time loop scenario: Su has been explicitly given the opportunity to replay the scenario in the hopes of find an alternative outcome, by some kind of presently mysterious parties. This first part is the 'control' loop, i.e. probably more or less how things went down 'originally'.

I believe Umineko is an explicit inspiration for this story, and the influence is pretty evident. But parallels with the Locked Tomb series, especially Gideon the Ninth, are also quite noticeable. @lukore spoke of it as the STEM to Locked Tomb's humanities, and I can already kinda see it, although we haven't got into the real meat of the scenario yet. This story began serialisation four years ago, making the two works roughly contemporary. The latest chapter was published in the last couple of weeks - no idea if I've arrived just in time for the ending!

Stylistically, it's generally pretty heavy on dialogue and long asides. The characters are a bunch of mega nerds who love to have big philosophical and political discussions, but their dynamics are well enough realised and their dynamics clear enough that it can double up as naturalistic characterisation. So far, the discussions have been interesting to read.

Below I'm going to make some notes and comments on various elements of the setting and story. In a followup post (because it got too long) I'm going to talk a lot about entropy. Perhaps you will find this interesting!

the world

The first few chapters are dedicated pretty hard to exposition. We find ourselves in a distant-future setting - one in which it seems reality has totally collapsed and then been rebuilt using magic, creating a somewhat oddball universe which lacks things like the element iron, and also electromagnetism. This seems like it would have pretty severe implications for just about everything!

However, the 'ironworkers' have, after producing a series of trial and error 'lower planes' that didn't quite get it right, landed on a fairly close approximation of how things used to be on the old world. Though by 'fairly close approximation' I mean like... it's a bowl-shaped world and the sun and stars are artificial lanterns. But still, there are humans, and they seem to work more or less like we're used to humans working, apart from the whole 'magic' thing.

So, an alt-physics setting. Praise Aealacreatrananda, I love that shit.

While electromagnetism might be out, the more abstract physical principles like thermodynamics still apply, and the humans of this universe have managed to find analogues to a number of things in our world. Instead of computers, they have 'logic engines' which run on magic. Horses seem to have made it in, so we get delightful blends of historical and futuristic concepts like a self-driving computer-controlled horse-drawn carriage taxi.

The biggest difference is of course that in this setting, magic - more on that in a bit - has solved most medical problems and humans routinely live to around 500. The setting is ostensibly a semi-post-scarcity one, although a form of money exists in 'luxury debt', which can be exchanged for things like taxi rides, café food and trips on the space elevator.

Politically, we are told that the world has enjoyed a few hundred years of general peace, broken in living memory by a revolution which put an end to a regime of magical secrecy. There are lots of countries, and an alliance overseeing them.

There's a few other oddities in this world. Something called a 'prosognostic event' can happen if you see someone who has the same face as you, and whatever this is, it's bad enough news that everyone is constantly reminded to veil their faces in public and there's some kind of infant 'distinction treatment' to mitigate the risk. Given that, in the regular world, nothing particularly bad would happen if you ran into a long-lost identical twin, it suggest there is probably something a little fucky about how humans work in this world!

There's evidently a fair bit of effort put into the worldbuilding of fictional countries and historical periods. The important elements seem to be roughly along the lines of:

our world is currently in what they call the 'old kingdoms' period, which is poorly remembered;

next up comes an 'imperial' period of high transhumanist shenanigans in which society was ruled by 'gerontocrats' who got exclusive access to the longevity treatment, but this all somehow led to a huge disaster which destroyed og earth;

the survivors built the Mimikos where humanity currently lives using magic and created some kind of huge iron spike that holds the universe together; there was subsequently a 'fundamentalist' period in which a strict cutoff point was put on human lifespans and a lot of the wackier magic was banned;

now we're onto a new era of openness following a small revolution, while the major political structures remain largely intact.

Writing a far-future setting is hard, because trying to deal with the weight of history without the story getting bogged down with worldbuilding details is a fiddly line to walk. The Dying Earth series of Jack Vance might be a relevant point of comparison. Vance leaves the historical details vague - there are endless old kingdoms and strange artefacts and micro-societies for Cugel and co. to stumble on. Far more important than the specifics of history is establishing the vibe of a world that's seen an unimaginable amount of events layered on top of each other and is honestly a bit tired.

Flower makes things a bit more concrete and generally manages to make this work decently well. I do appreciate the asides where Su talks about, for example, the different architectural styles that layer up to make a place, or the way a technique has been refined. It establishes both that Su is the kind of person to notice this sort of thing, and also helps the world feel lived-in.

the names

The story doesn't do a lot with language. The story is written in English, and the narration will occasionally make reference to how things are phrased (e.g. how divination predates the suffix -mancy). We can probably make the standard assumption that this is all translated from $future_language, with the notional translator making a suitable substitution of whatever linguistic forms exist in that language.

The characters are named in a variety of languages. Our main character's full name is Utsushikome of Fusai. We're told that this is "an old name from Kutuy, and means something like 'mysterious child'" - so Kutuyan is one of the languages spoken in this world. It's blatantly got the same phonotactics as Japanese, and indeed if I search up 'Utsushikome', I find an obscure historical figure called Utsushikome-no-Mikoto, wife of the Emperor Kōgen; she has no article on English Wikipedia, but she does have a brief one on Japanese wiki. Just as Su says about Kutuyan, 'Utsushikome' is written 欝色謎 in Japanese, but it relies on archaic readings of those characters and wouldn't read that way in modern Japanese. We could perhaps assume a good old translation convention is in effect where Kutuyan is replaced with Japanese.

A lot of characters have Greek names, as do various setting elements. One exception is Kamrusepa, or Kam, who is named for an ancient goddess of medicine worshipped by the Hittites and Luwians. I know basically fuck all about Hittites and Luwians but it's a cool little nod to mythology, and it won't be the only one!

I'll run down a list of characters and my comments about them in a bit. But many are named after gods or other mythological figures.

the magic

Most of the divergences come from magic existing. Certain humans are 'arcanists', who are able to use the 'Power', which is a magic system with a highly computational flavour. Thanks to Su's expositional asides, we know that an incantation is something like a short program written in cuneiform with the ability to gather information, perform maths, and manipulate particles. An example we are given is a spell called "entropy-denying", which is the following string of cuneiform:

"…(𒌍𒌷𒀭)(𒌍𒁁𒀭)𒅥𒌈𒆜𒈣𒂠, 𒋢𒀀𒅆𒌫𒃶,𒈬𒊹."

We're told that spells always start with phrases ending in 𒀭, and end in 𒊹. Beyond that, I'm not sure how far the author has actually worked out the syntax of this magic system - probably not in too much detail! Seems like the kind of thing it's better to leave vague, but also she seems like kind of nerd who would (positive). It's conceptually a reasonable magic system for a world where more or less realistic physics applies.

The use of unusual scripts for a magic system isn't that unusual - the old European occultists who wrote the [Lesser] Key of Solomon loved to write on their magic circles in Hebrew, and in modern times we could mention Yoko Taro's signature use of the Celestial Alphabet for example - but the specific use of cuneiform here seems like it might be a little more significant, because a little later in the story the characters encounter a mural depicting The Epic of Gilgamesh, which of course was recorded on cuneiform tablets. Remains to be seen exactly what these allusions will mean!

The magic system is divided into various disciplines defined by the different ways they approach doing magic, with the disciplines breaking down broadly along the same lines as the modern scientific disciplines. For example, our protagonist is a thanatomancer ("necromancer" having become unfashionable), which is the discipline dealing with death; she's specifically an entropic thanatomancer, distinguished by their framework viewing death as the cessation of processes.

Magic relies on an energy that they refer to as 'eris' (unknown relation to the Greek goddess of strife and discord). We are told that eris must be carefully apportioned across the elements of a spell or shit blows up, that it can be stored, and it accumulates gradually enough that you don't want to be wasteful with it, but so far given little information about where it comes from.

Magic in this story generally seems to act as a kind of 'sufficiently advanced technology'. It's very rules-based, and used for a lot of mundane ends like operating computers or transport. Advancement in magic is something like a combination of basic research and software development. But the thing that makes it a magic system and not merely alt-physics is that it's at least a little bit personal: it must be invoked by an individual, and only certain people can operate the magic. We're told a little about how wizards are privileged in some societies, indoctrinated in social utility in others, and expected to be inconspicuous in the present setting. It's not clear yet if you need some kind of special innate capacity to do the magic, or if it's just a matter of skill issue.

With one exception, our main characters are a gaggle of wizards, and exceptionally skilled students at that. They're at an elite institution, carrying high expectations, even if they are themselves fairly dismissive of the pomp and ceremony. They have grandiose plans: Kamrusepa in particular is the main voice of the 'death should be abolished' current.

the cast

We're entering a cloistered environment with high political stakes hanging off of it. Even if I hadn't already heard it described as a murder mystery, it would feel like someone will probably be murdered at some point, so lets round up our future suspects.

Su (Utsushikome) is our protagonist and first-person POV. She's telling this story in the first past tense, with a style calling to mind verbal narration; she'll occasionally allude to future events so we know for sure narrator!Su knows more than present!Su. She's got a sardonic streak and she likes long depressing antijokes, especially if the punchline is suicide. She will happily tell us she's a liar - so maybe her narration isn't entirely reliable, huh.

Su is more than a little judgemental; she doesn't particularly like a lot of her classmates, or people in general, and generally the first thing she'll tell you about a character is how well she gets on with them. She introduces the theme of 'wow death sucks' in the first paragraph, but she is, at least at this point, pessimistic that anyone will manage to do anything about it for good.

Her magical specialisation is entropic thanatomancy, roughly making processes go again after they working coherently.

Her name is a reference to an obscure Japanese empress, as discussed above.

Ran is Su's bestie from the same home country. She is generally pretty on the level. She likes romance novels and she is pretty sharp at analysing them. She will cheerfully team up with Su to do a bit or bait someone else when an argument gets going.

Her magical specialisation is Divination, which is sort of a more fundamental layer of magic, about gathering information by any means. In medicine it's super advanced diagnostics.

Her name is too short to pin down to a specific allusion. Could be one of a couple of disciple of Confucius such as Ran Geng, or a Norse goddess of the sea.

Kam (Kamrusepa) is the de facto class prez and spotlight lover. She's hardcore ideological, the story's main voice of the de Grey/Bostrom death-abolishing concept so far - I think she straight up calls someone a 'deathist' at some point. She loves to tell everyone what she thinks about everything, and getting the last word.

Her magical specialisation is Chronomancy, so time magic. It's described as secretive and byzantine, but also it can do stuff like (locally?) rewind time for about five minutes. No doubt it has something to do with the time loop.

As mentioned above, she's named after a fairly obscure ancient deity of healing and magic.

Theo (Theodoros) is a fairly minor character. He's scatterbrained and easily flustered, he has a similar background to our protagonist, and he's not great with people. His name is shared with a number of ancient Greek figures, so it's hard to narrow it down to one allusion. I don't think his magic school has been mentioned.

Ptolema is a cheery outgoing one, someone who Su dismisses as an airhead. And she is at least easy to bait into saying something ill-considered. Her specialisation is applying magic to surgery. As a character, she tends to act as a bit of a foil to the others. Bit of a valley girl thing going on.

'Ptolema' is presumably a feminised version of the renowned Greek philosopher Ptolemy.

Seth is the jock to Ptolema's prep, and our goth protag Su doesn't particularly like him either. ...lol maybe that's too flippant, I may be misapplying these US high school stereotypes. To be a little more precise then, he's pretty casual in demeanour, flirty, likes to play the clown. He specialises in Assistive Biomancy, which revolves around accelerating natural healing processes.

Seth is named for either the Egyptian god (domain: deserts, violence and foreigners) or an Abrahamic figure, the third son of Adam and Eve granted by God after the whole Caim killing Abel thing.

Ophelia is someone Su describes as 'traditionally feminine' - soft-spoken, demure etc. (Gender in this world appears to be constructed along broadly similar lines to ours). Indeed we get a fairly extended description of her appearance. Her specialisation is Alienist Biomancy, which means introducing foreign elements to healing (not entirely sure how that differs from the Golemancy mentioned later).

Ophelia is of course a major character in Shakespeare's Hamlet, best known for going mad and dying in a river.

Fang is the only nonbinary member of the class, noted as the most academically successful. They're not on the expedition, but the characters discuss them a little in their absence, so maybe they'll show up later. It seems like they have a bit of a rebellious streak. Their magical specialisation is not mentioned.

Fang is a regular ol' English word, but I gave it a search all the same and found there's an ancient Chinese alchemist of that name. She is the oldest recorded woman to do an alchemy in China, said to know how to turn mercury into silver.

Lilith is the teenaged prodigy in computers logic engines, and Mehit is her mother who accompanies her on the trip. They've got a big Maria and Rosa (of Umineko) dynamic going on, with Mehit constantly scolding Lilith and trying to get her to obey social norms, though in contrast to Maria, Lilith is a lot more standoffish and condescending to the rest of the gang. Lilith specialises in 'Golemancy', which means basically medical robotics - prosthetic limbs and such. She spends most of her time fiddling with her phone logic engine, and will generally tell anyone who talks to her that they're an idiot. Sort of a zoomer stereotype.

Lilith is named for the Abrahamic figure, the disobedient first wife of Adam who was banished and, according to some Jewish traditions, subsequently became a demon who attacks women at night. There may be some connection between Lilith and the lioness-headed Mesopotamian chimeric monster Lamashtu, which I mention because Mehit is an Egyptian and Nubian lion goddess.

'Golemancy' is probably playing on the popular fantasy idea of a 'golem' as a kind of magic robot, but given the Jewish allusion in Lilith's name here, I do wonder a little bit if it's going to touch on the Jewish stories of the Golem which inspired it - a protective figure with a specific religious dimension.

There are some other characters but they're not part of the main party on their way to the function, so I won't say much about them just yet. Also it's entirely possible I went and forgot an entire classmate or something, big whoops if so.

the events

In true Umineko tradition, the beginning of the story narrates in great detail how the protagonists make their way to the place where the plot is going to happen.

To be fair, there's a lot of groundwork to be laid here, and the characters' discussions do a lot to lay out the concerns of the story and sketch out the setting, not to mention establish the major character relations. A murder mystery takes a certain amount of setup after all! There's plenty of sci-fi colour to be had in the 'aetherbridge', which is a kind of space elevator that lifts you up to a high altitude teleporter network. (It's technically not teleportation but 'transposition', since teleportation magic also exists in the story, with different restrictions! But close enough for government work.)

They go to a huge space citadel, which is kind of a transport hub; some cloak and dagger shit happens to hide the route they must take to the mysterious secret organisation. They find a strange room with a missing floor and a mural of the Epic of Gilgamesh, albeit modified to render it cyclic. What does it meeaaaan?

The idea of a secret society of rationalists is one that dates back to the dawn of ratfic, in HPMOR. It was kinda dumb then, but it works a lot better here, where we're approaching the wizard circle from outside. The phrase 'Great Work' has already been dropped. I love that kind of alchemical shit so I'm well into finding out what these wizards are plotting.

the dying

A lot of the discussions revolve around the mechanics of death. Essentially the big problem for living forever is information decay. Simple cancers can be thwarted fairly easily with the magic techniques available, but more subtle genetic slippages start to emerge after the first few hundred years; later, after roughly the 500 year mark, a form of dementia becomes inevitable. It's this dementia in particular that the characters set their sights on curing.

One thing that is interesting to me is that, contra a lot of fantasy that deals with necromancy (notably the Locked Tomb series), there appears to be no notion of a soul in this world whatsoever. The body is all that there is. Indeed, despite all the occult allusions in the character names, there is very little in the way of religion for that matter. Even the 'fundamentalism' is about an idea of human biological continuity that shouldn't be messed with too much.

Su distinguishes three schools of thought on death, namely 'traditional', 'transformative' and 'entropic'. The 'traditional' form attempts to restore limited function - classic skeleton shit. 'Transformative' sees death as a process and uses dead tissues together with living in healing. Su's 'entropic' school broadens this 'process' view to consider death as any kind of loss of order - a flame going out as much as an organism dying. At the outset of the story, Su has discovered a 'negentropic' means to restore life to an organism, which she considers promising, even if for now it only works for fifteen minutes.

This is an interesting perspective, but the devil is in the details. Because processes such as life or flames, necessarily, result in a continuous increase in the thermodynamic entropy of the universe. And yet this idea of death-as-loss-of-order does make a kind of sense, at a certain level of abstraction.

Elaborating on this got rather too long for this post, and I think it can stand alone, so I'm going to extract it to a followup post.

the comments

As is probably evident by the length of this post, I am very intrigued by The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere. The setting is compelling, and it seems like it's got the willingness to bite at the chewy questions it raises instead of acting like it has all the answers, which is I think one of the most crucial elements for this kind of scifi. I like how unabashed it is at having its characters straight-up debate shit.

Of course, this all depends where they go with it. There's so many ways it could be headed at this point. I hear where it's going is 'dark yuri' and 'Umineko-inspired murder mystery', so that should be really juicy fun, but I do end up wondering what space that will leave to address the core theme it's laid out in these first few chapters.

Overall, if this and Worth the Candle are what modern ratfic is like, the genre is honestly in pretty good shape! Of course, I am reading very selectively. But this is scratching the itch of 'the thing I want out of science fiction', so I'm excited to see where the next 133 chapters will take me.

Though all that said, I ended up writing this post all day instead of reading any other chapters or working, so I may need to rein it in a bit.

#fiction #web serials #the flower that bloomed nowhere #tftbn #sff

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humming-pokemon-helpers · 5 months

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“So, Vanilla, what have you been up to? You’ve been awfully quiet lately.”

Excellent question, person I made up in my head. I’ve been watching each and every one of the Pawmark Dash to Delibird Day movies released in The Year Of The Twin Dragons 2023. There are 42 of them, which deeply unsettles me.

But unfortunately I dedicated myself to the art of cataloguing Pawmark movies when I was a much sadder and lonelier Zorperson, and I’m too stubborn to quit now. (That, and they’re a guilty pleasure; sue me.)

So, below the cut is my ratings of some of them. About 10. Not all 42, I still have some semblance of a life. I did watch all of them though, so I guess if there's any Pawmark enthusiasts who really need to know my thoughts, you can send me an ask? Or you can ask me in-person. At my New Year's party. Which is still happening tomorrow. (Psst. Here's a link if you're interested: https://discord.gg/PkmkQEVF)

1. Celebi With You: Young career businesswoman comes back to her old hometown devoted to Delibird Day and nothing else. Grandpa asks her to take over the shop. She refuses because she has a career. Local childhood-friend-man in flannel gets sad. A Celebi takes her back in time to watch her grandparents’ romance as they open the shop. She changes her mind, gets with the male lead in a very rushed side plot, everyone’s happy.

This one’s a shaky 5/10. Points for not focusing the modern romance first and foremost, but it’s so sloppily done. There's no lead-up to the kiss. And I mean, it's Pawmark. There usually isn't. But give us some level of flirtation! Grandma and gramps are cute, though. Shame grandma’s dead for no reason other than “there must be at least one dead relative in a Pawmark movie”. Also, the CGI Celebi looks TERRIBLE. Like, eye-bleedingly so. That is an onion and a few pipe cleaner legs. I know they can’t get a real Celebi, but at least get a Ditto instead!

2. A Little Holiday Maschiff: The obligatory “turn your brain off and watch cute puppies” movie. Female lead recently lost her Stoutland. Somebody leaves a box of Maschiff puppies on her step in the winter cold. She takes them to the “hunk” at the Pokémon shelter, because she’s not ready to open her heart again, but the shelter’s on the brink of being shut down. They co-pup-parent and create a Delibird Day Pokémon Pageant to fundraise and save the shelter. Get in a fight because the male lead thinks she’s actually trying to get the shelter sold. They make up. They kiss. They adopt like 3 Maschiff puppies. The end.

8/10, but not because of the plot. The “fight” they have is absolutely idiotic. No, the reason I say 8/10 is because I can understand everything those little Maschiff have to say and their commentary is worth their weight in gold. Even if 90% of it is “Am I a good boy? Can I go for a walk after this? Why am I in a box again?”. So good. 4/10 for anybody who doesn’t understand Pokémon. At least the puppies are still cute to look at.

3. Snow Warning: Short summary here because it’s so generic. F!Lead gets caught in once-in-a-lifetime blizzard on her way home. Flight cancelled. Has to share a hotel room with smarmy male lead who looks down on her job as a novelist (and is also a wildly successful businessman). The two roadtrip their way down to F!Lead’s hometown so she can go see her sick dad. Grow a begrudging respect. Eventually they kiss for some reason. Also there’s a side-plot about how the guy actually pissed off an Abomasnow and caused the whole thing, but that wasn’t really interesting. ...Somehow. How do you mess that up?

2/10. The chemistry’s off. I get going for “you hate me so bad you want to kiss me” tension, but it really just comes off like the female lead ought to sock her "date" in the face already. Instead we get a weak “Sorry I called your books stupid. I read one page of your debut novel and it’s not. Can we kiss now?”. Yawn. Also, he never apologizes for the whole Abomasnow thing, which seems like a pretty massive oversight? If we're being realistic here, that's getting held over that man's head for at least a good five years.

4. Sawsbuck’s Greetings: A movie focused around the female lead, who runs a Sawsbuck farm that’s been passed down for generations, and the male lead, who kicks puppies for a living and wants to put a golf course there. But don’t worry, he learns after she makes a deal with him that if he stays on the farm for 30 days and doesn’t see the value of it, he can buy it. Because that’s how buying real estate works. The guy actually has some traumatic history with Pokémon that the saintly female lead helps him overcome. He cuts ties with his company, moves into the Sawsbuck farm, and they have the Pawmark Kiss.

3.5/10 for me. Not even the bored Sawsbuck save this (they are so, so bored). There’s no interesting side characters anywhere! No life! Also, I will say it once again: love does not heal trauma. They try to make it seem like this man goes from erring 50 feet away from “those horrid beasts” to snuggling up with a Deerling in the early AM all thanks to a woman's love. That is not how that works. Get therapy. (I say this knowing full well I would not be as critical if it were gay. Know your biases, folks.)

5. The Chingling Ring: This is one of their “Deli-Day Wedding” movies. A sequel to last year’s “The Chingling Sing”. Female lead gets cold feet about marrying male lead. They nearly break up to all of their friends’ constant dismay. But the woman's Chimecho works with her fiance to gather 25 Chingling to show her 25 places all key to her relationship with her soon-to-be husband. Of course he’s waiting at the 25th, they kiss, make up, happy wedding, baby at the end of it.

Surprisingly, a 6.5/10. The concept is a decent one, if only they didn’t have to stick to 25 arcdamn places instead of… five? Even 12, if you’re looking for something holiday-like but smaller. Each place gets no focus at all, because of course they don’t. It’s an 80-minute movie! The gesture is really romantic though. Chingling are so so adorable. And the male lead is genuinely sympathetic throughout. Just… agh, the rush. Also, do we always need a baby at the end of the wedding ones?

6. Special Delivery: Sort of a mystery movie, on the first female lead's side. (Yes, 1/2!) She, a detective, starts receiving mysterious gifts via Delibird from a ‘secret admirer’. Determined to figure out more, she goes on a hunt through the specifics of the gifts, the places they’re ordered from, and even tracks a Delibird itself. Along the way, she keeps confiding in her best friend, the second lead, about the situation. First lead thinks it's from her coworker, but no, it's a red herring. Lo and behold, it turns out the gifts are secretly coming from... the second lead! There’s a decent coming out/confession scene, which is a compliment for a film studio where movies are produced in 5 weeks. Pawmark Kiss. End film. (Too soon.)

I promise this is not just my lesbian bias (it is), but 7/10. The two leads truly understand the power of pining. Of yearning! …The gift situation is so blatantly obvious that it very much feels like the movie spins its wheels for a while, though. I feel like they were trying to have a twist, because the male lead's pretty heavily marketed, but he also falls flat as a character other than "hey, he's there, and he probably likes you". As a result, though, I thought I was going insane for thinking the leads had chemistry for the first 50 minutes until this film fully vindicated me, something that is incredibly rare with a Pawmark movie. They’d better make a sequel. That’s up-front about its being gay, and at least halfway decent.

7. Deck The Royal Halls: What would Pawmark be without its annual foreign prince movie. This time from the made-up kingdom of “Britain”. Where are they even pulling these names from now? Bog-standard, except the two leads also have to work together to handle the King getting possessed by the legendary Calyrex along the way. Because apparently the “old family heirloom” Hometown Female Lead brings as a gift to His Highness is actually its crown. Anyways, Calyrex demands the two of them get married in the name of the kingdom. They waver on this in some royal courtship, get into a fight, and eventually agree. Happily ever after.

4.5/10: This movie is so cluttered. There’s no good justification for why the female lead is there, why her family has this ancient treasure, and why it is so absolutely crucial she marry The Prince. Calyrex’s VA is very funny during the possession scenes though. So the movie gets an extra point. Calyrex trying to give Mr. Prince Guy a confession pep talk is genuinely one of the better written comedy bits I’ve seen on the channel in a while. Shame the CGI for Calyrex is... not very good. There's no way its head is that big.

8. A Champion Chrismas: So this is what they've had Champion Leon up to since he lost his title. The Battle Tower and paying him to take part in mass-produced rom-coms. Anyways, unfortunately for the female lead, who is absolutely trying her best, this movie is entirely about Leon--or Levi, and how the self-insert (AKA, female lead) saves him from his battling slump when he comes home for the holiday season to his totally-not-Postwick small town with his totally-not-Hop little brother. (who is, actually, played by Hop Laventon. How did they get all of these people???) Anyways, the female lead shows Le-whoever the "joy of Delibird Day" again, they kiss, Le-guy wins a big championship match with his Charizard for her and shouts her out on live TV.

6/10, purely because it's fun to see how non-acting celebrities deal with acting. Also, this is 100% somebody's Leon x Reader fanfiction that got brought to Pawmark's writing room and approved without a second thought. I love that for whoever that was. (Though pretending that definitely isn't Leon and he totally isn't dating Raihan is a bit ingenuous.) Anyways, the writing sucks. The poor heroine is the epitome of a self-insert, for very obvious reasons. But I will admit, I can see why Leon has so many fangirls. He's great at playing that sort of "charming, down to earth" guy. His little brother's pretty good at acting too! Even if he really got shoved to the side for the sake of the love plot. Always seems to be the case for that poor kid...

9. Operation: Present: A movie about... Santa from the future? I think somebody saw Iron Bundle and ran away with it a bit too much. (Also, they have a real Iron Bundle there. This scares me.) Anyways, in this movie, Santa's son appears in front of a social media "influencer" with an Iron Bundle and tells her that if she doesn't convince the world Santa is real, they'll fall into a dark timeline...? I'm so lost as to who wrote this. Is this still Pawmark? I guess it's tangentially Delibird Day-related. Anyways, these two go on a... social media campaign... to spark belief in Santa. Livestreams, Chatters, anything a 60-year-old exec believes is part of social media usage, it's there. But actually, Ms. Influencer doesn't even believe in Santa herself, so they get in this big fight, until Santa's Son gets this notification that Christmas is saved or whatever. They make up. They kiss. I am so lost.

2/10, I am relatively sure this movie was made by drawing ideas out of a hat? And shoving them together? So it's a time-travel, social-media, robot-Delibird, Santa's son, romance movie? Why did they not pick an angle. Any one of those could have worked as an angle. As it is, I feel like I'm going insane even trying to describe the plot. ...And yet I feel as though I know several people this could happen to. Such is the reality of our multiverse.

10. Don't Have A Bird: Okay, they clearly used all of their ideas on the last movie. Because this one is about a woman who works at an Unfezant tip line. As in, a tip line on how to cook Unfezant at the holidays. (Which feels more like a Thanksgiving movie, but I digress!) And a man. Who is trying to cook an Unfezant. That's... the entire plot. The whole thing. Though the woman is also secretly romancing the man in real life! ...And on... the Unfezant tip line. That feels like a blatant violation of phone line policy, but what do I know! The Unfezant Guy feels betrayed by this until The Unfezant Girl brings by a perfect Unfezant, and the day is saved. Hooray.

1.5/10. Who wrote this. Who approved this. Why is it about an arcdamn Unfezant Tip Line. How far down do you have to dig for this idea. Who in the writing room called in to figure out how to unfuck their completely dry, flavorless Unfezant, and thought "You know what would be romantic?" On the bright side, absolutely none of the actors take this movie seriously, thus warranting an extra .5 points. They earned it. Nothing else did. (//Mod note. Based on a real fucking Hallmark movie.)

#i'm sorry to anybody reading past the cut this gets so rambly.#but i hope i can spread the experience of pawmark to at least somebody else.#pkmn irl #pokeblogging #//brought to you by Too Many Hallmark Movies.#//yes the 42 movie thing is real.

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nextstopwonderland · 9 months

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Bryanmox masterlist part two

Part one/BCC general masterlist here

Video clips

Bryan gushes over Mox and talks about how there’s nothing him or Mox won’t do to step up and help out

Mox on wrestledream commentary (with Nigel)

Video compilations

“Wrestling has become a pantomime of what it should be”

Matches

First match: Dec 5, 2007 - MPW

Second match: August 2010 - HWA

Promos

DGUSA Promo #2

DGUSA promo #3

Most likely the last DGUSA promo set the day of. Mox shows some leg and talks breaking arms

Audio clips

“I don’t think you could ever say a bad word about the guy.” - Mox discussed his DGUSA match with Bryan

“Bryan I consider maybe just the greatest pro-wrestler that ever lived”

Quote compilations

Bryan + Mox + seeking one another out/being one another’s catalysts throughout the years

Text posts

An Indie years timeline

Bryan thinks Dean Ambrose is someone to watch out for (also includes audio)

Mox recalls Bryan’s advice ahead of their 2011 wwe home show

Dragon Gate almost became anarchy in the arena

Bryan thinking Mox is great from 2010

Bryan rooting for Mox before Windy City

Photo/Quote compilations

Mox calling Bryan the most perfect pure pro wrestler

Gifs

Mox making Bryan break

Mox bestowing kisses (also includes video)

My fav bryanmox aew moments

Training for Windy City

Photo posts

Total divas era

Forged in combat love

Wifeguy bry

Emo feelings

Random smackdown screenshots

No thoughts Just gender

No thoughts just them

Still no thoughts still just them

We saw you across the ring and hated your vibe

Two v different vibes

Bryan still in the supportive husband era

Gender, once more

Second match screenshots

Third match screenshots

Bryan + Mox in Japan

Bryan and Mox at New Year Dash!!

Bryan and Mox at New Year Dash part 2

Bryan and Mox through the years

_________________

#bryanmox #my masterlists #bcc #had to break this out from the main main post #because i'm running out of links space again

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fereldanwench · 1 year

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(This is a temporary pinned post; usual post with blog details and virtual photography/CP77 info can be found here.)

Lately my dash has become a sea of filtered content, and I figured that was a sign I should probably do a little housekeeping for the new year. 😅

I'm announcing this* because it will likely include breaking mutual follows with some folks, and I just wanted to be very clear that this isn't a fandom drama thing or a personal beef thing--If I unfollow, it's just because our interests no longer align or we just don't interact much.

Similarly, please don't feel obligated to hang around here if what I'm posting isn't doing it for you either. It's Tumblr Open Enrollment, babes--Curate your feed for 2023, lmao.

What you can continue to expect from me (both in reblogs and original posts):

All things Cyberpunk 2077 (especially with Goro and Valerie, although I am kind of forcing myself to slow down this month since I went pretty hard in December with VP/photostories and I don't want to burn out)

Pretty scenery photos, fashion shoots, and artwork

Shitposts and cute animals

Commentary on tech, media, and fandom

Gifs, art, and memes from other games I enjoy (Tomb Raider, Fallout, Assassin's Creed, The Outer Worlds, maybe a Dragon Age or Mass Effect post, etc)

Gifs of movies or shows I just watched because you gotta reblog the gifs after you watched something

I'll probably be done with the unfollowing by the end of today, but I'll leave this pinned for about a week and probably reblog it a few times for maximum exposure.

💙💙💙💙

*I know, I know, some of you are probably like whatever, just unfollow people, who cares, but 1) I have social anxiety so I know what it's like to stress about this from the other side and 2) I also know how a simple unfollow can fuel drama so I want to nip that in the bud. 😘

#t: wench.txt #clean up has concluded!

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nobuverse · 9 months

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"What the hell? My stats seriously got nerfed when lost my avenger status..."

"...worth it."

#avenger Jeanne's stats were like off the charts OP what the hell #but you know what ??? living is nice.#; see the world through my eyes: watch it burn [ dash commentary ]#Dragon of Ink [ Jeanne Alter Berserker ]#ANWAYS IM GOING TO BED #I have work and a long anticipated stater to write for the devil tomorrow #that will make sense ....if you know Devilman anyways lol

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draconicmayhem · 1 year

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“Oh, so that’s what that sort of thing was about.....” The humanoid Storm Dragon has to sit and think for a moment...

“....I mean, I guess I fit what people would consider saying that towards; well, the male equivalent anyways. But why? Aren’t there more obvious traits about me that are attractive to people? Or anyone else one would say that sort of thing to?”

#watched by dragons (dash commentary)#First of the Abyss; Grimroar #(this just in: local ancient dragon does not understand a kink; more at 11)#((I have no regrets even in the form of this being very late for him commenting on it))

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moonxsuncelestials · 1 year

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I posted 1,536 times in 2022

448 posts created (29%)

1,088 posts reblogged (71%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cuteteacakes

@akumanoken

@kurai-honoo

@game-weaver

@chaoticxgays

I tagged 1,532 of my posts in 2022

#rp - 482 posts

#yun ic - 415 posts

#outofdragonsbreathandhellfire - 236 posts

#li ic - 108 posts

#queue the dragonsbreath and hellfire - 99 posts

#cuteteacakes - 85 posts

#dash commentary - 67 posts

#akumanoken - 66 posts

#mirror of the darkside of the moon - 65 posts

#yue ic - 63 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#practical effects are just as hitandrunduo rp said cgi is best paired with animation or the actual practical effects because if done right

My Top Posts in 2022:

@twxn-brxthers

“Huh? Interesting kingdom, huh Dad?” The tiger asked as his father nodded while he kept his side of the carriage shaded. “You sure about this, Dad? I can’t exactly give the guy cubs.”

“I know, Khan. But this is for the good of our kingdom and it will keep your uncle from trying to form a harem for you as he’s done for Jade.” He dragon king replied as his son shuddered. “You’re going to do just fine. Just promise me to keep your teasing to a tolerable level, okay?” He asked as his son nodded. “Good.”

Khan purred as he was petted despite how unroyal like that was. But this was his dad, who threw out most royal customs, being affectionate to his children and loved ones. “We’re here.”

The tiger gulped and once the carriage door opened, King Yun was given a parasol to protect him from the harsh sunlight. And thus began their new journey.

14 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

~~The Story~~

Legends say that eons ago, long before the world humans knew and even began to understand their own existence and the power they would one day wield, The First Ones (Primals) ruled.

Born from the very primal waters of life deep within the seas and the Void, the First Ones were the original gods of the world; creating all that humans know of from the earth beneath our feet, the forests, the lakes, and rivers, to the sky above and the other side where the spirits dwell. They even made a deal with Khaos to allow him to bring forth the Gods, children of his own who could mate with the children of the First Ones: the Dragons.

Whilst wars in the West came and went thanks to those like Kronos among the Greeks, the First Ones of the East came to a truce with their deities; creating harmony and balance that the West seemed to lack. And for many centuries, peace and harmony reigned in the East. Every few generations, a dragon or two would be given to the Gods to produce offspring, known as the Dramans.

Thrilled and pleased to have such a long and peaceful reign, the First Ones of the East agreed to quietly watch over though forewarned the Gods that should they begin to become like those of the West, they will destroy not only them but also what they care for the most: their humans.

Sadly this came to pass a century later and from the manipulations of both the Dragon Jade Emperor Zhixin and the Jade Emperor, the First Ones were sealed down into the depths of the sea, placing them into a deep slumber. One by one, the now called the Fallen Ones, the First Ones died out til only a handful remained but they swore that they would get even.

A Fallen One by the name of Sacahiel foretold that it would be the First Ones’ first children, the Celestial Dragons, and those who had sided with them to strike back. They would become known as the Fallen Celestials and in the coming centuries, it was they who found Chang’e, having gone mad from her years of being isolated on the moon; the First Ones spoke through the whispers of the shadows, telling her to gather their children and how to gather them to her side. They whispered for her to find Hope, bring him to their side, and unlock the final seal that holds them in place.

Should Chang’e succeed, the balance shall be tipped and the world will end.

Memes X

See the full post

15 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

@cuteteacakes from X

“You are to me, Caleb.” He replied with a soft smile as he reached to cup the other’s cheek. “You’re a kind young man, brilliant with your bakery and the games you play-you taught this old man after all how to keep cool on your stream.” With his dislike for technology, it had been a miracle that only Caleb could fashion to help him not panic and get him to talk about why he doesn’t like loud noises.

“We’ve both been hurt, Caleb. But you keep going, keep trying and not let the past upset you; I admire that.”

18 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

@akumanoken from X

They were happy to see the princess excited, the children looking at one another before hearing that the woman was indeed Sakura’s mother; thus making her Li’s grandmother. And it made Li a little wary but remembering how it was the lady’s husband that he needed to be careful around; not her.

Getting up, shyly, he ran to his mother and bowed politely to the queen of Makoto. “O-O-Obaacha? Nana?” He asked cutely as Jade grinned.

Whilst the boys and Fenghua remained with the queen of Makoto and Sakura, Yun was still rushing about before word reached him that his uncle had the king. Walking to them, he chuckled quietly at seeing how nervous the king appeared to be. “Uncle, come now, no need for hostilities.”

Yet.

See the full post

22 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@cuteteacakes said:

"Very much so...~" Caleb feigned fainting. "Only a kiss will revive me..~"

A kiss is exactly what Yun hoped for and he wasted no time giving Caleb a pretty passionate one. The type that leave them both dizzy from lack of oxygen. “I think I need to give you mouth-to-mouth~” He purred and let Caleb get his breath in before he began to kiss him again.

Yue could handle the Oasis on her own and Castle-ah he can hear his old friend now cheering. Even Hope was excited, likely because the dragon was leaving the pain behind him.

26 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #outofdragonsbreathandhellfire

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