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margsld · 6 years

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Outlander Epi 3.07 Recap

Crème de Menthe mixed with lemonade is dreadful.

This week's episode saw an unfamiliar writers name on the title cards, for fans. Karen Campbell is credited and by the surname, sounds like she comes from good Scottish stock! We like her already. It was another difficult part of the books to cover which drew mixed reviews but I actually enjoyed this episode.

We start in the middle of the previous episode’s cliff hanger which had our fresh-from-the-clouds lass Dr Claire, in da house or kittle hoosey to be exact. She was scarily caffeine deficient and fighting that accountant thug for her life! To distract him she asked what Pi times 3,562 was and while he couldn’t resist such a juicy random calculation, she grabbed the nearest knife. Go Claire!

No caffeine makes Claire very nasty so he had to dodge her viper-like advances which sent him tripping, smashing into the fireplace’s stone hearth like a pumpkin falling from a great height. The resulting thunk meant Mr H&R Block was not going to be lodging any returns anytime soon.

The cavalry arrive too late as usual. Jamie, Fergus and Madame Jean/Jan burst into the room after hearing the kerfuffle. Claire was sipping her cup of Joe by then calmly declaring "He’s dead, chillax!"

Suddendly Mr H&R Block aka Blockhead stirs on the hearth and Claire rejoices that he hasn’t died. She's like a cat playing with a half-dead mousey.

Now fully caffeinated and firmly under the Hipocratic Oath, examines him and diagnoses a severe swelling on the brain. Hitting stone from a height will do that to a head, Claire. Much to Jamie's chagrin, she's determined to give him a second chance and knows it will kill him if she doesn’t do something fast.

#AccountantLivesMatter!

Jamie can’t hang about and watch though as the excisemen who hired Mr Blockhead, will be looking for him soon. He organizes the last of their smuggled casks & barrels hidden in the basement to be moved. He then sends Fergus and Young Ian to negotiate their sale on his behalf so that he can pretend nothing is going on if/when they are raided.

Claire races to the local apocothary for brain surgery supplies and pushes in like a two year old waiting to get on the jumpy castle. Another customer, a Mr Archie Campbell takes opposition to her impatience and she offers to pacify him by visiting his sick sister (as an experienced healer or killer in the next few minutes, if you don’t move). He accepts this offer and Claire leaves with her supplies, keen to dig her scalpel into Mr Blockhead’s smashed-in noggin. Party on!

Ian (all of 16, making him a master negotiator) talks their customer into buying all the barrels for a good price and throws in 3 Crème de Menthe barrels to sweeten the deal. As you do. Nothing dodgy about Crème de Menthe sold by a 16 year old. Nope.

Back in the Brothel, Claire is prepping for building a shed. Errh sorry, saw a drill and jumped to conclusions. No.... she’s drilling a massive hole in her assailants head. Mayhap so he can get better Wifi or you know...live. Same same.

Downstairs Madame Jean is pulling out her hair and all her charm school knowledge as the shifty Sir Percival arrives with his henchman, the freaky Mad Eye Moody doppleganger. Creepy much?

Claire is like a ghoulish kid in the candy store and is soon drilling a hole in Mr Blockhead’s block head. Yi Tien Cho is her surgical assistant/cheer squad through the process. Eventually and after some classic grinding/sucking sounds, blood gushes out and we assume Mr Blockhead will live to ride the excise wagon again. *Cheer!

In the basement, Sir Percival is unhappy to find the floor is bare apart from some spilled water. At least we hope it was water. I'm not touching it.

With the coast clear, Jamie heads back to check on Claire. Unfortunately, Mr Blockhead will not be lodging his tax next year and has died. That bed needs to be burned now surely?

Claire is unhappy to lose her patient because her God complex is firmly ingrained after saving people for 14 years. Jamie is his usual supportive self and says she can save someone else another time. Moving on. Whisky anyone?

To celebrate their successful barrel clearance sale, Fergus and Ian chug a few coldies down at the pub. Soon it’s clear that Young Ian has goo-goo eyes for the barmaid Brighid. Fergus calls her over and leaves Ian with her to get cosy. Fergilicious is the best wingman ever!

Ian is a virgin and inexperienced with women but followed Fergus' advice even though he was nervous af. Bridhid is taken with his cuteness so agrees to have a drink with him. In the background Mad Eye Moody quietly watches on giving Ian serious side-eye. Not the good sort either. Ominous music alert.

Claire is still sulking about the dead guy in her bed. Building a bridge, she decides to go find another patient that needs her and is not likely to pop their clogs before sunset. She goes to visit Archie Campbell and his ailing sister Margaret.

Like my husband in his cave on a Wednesday night, Margaret isn’t in the mood for company. Archie introduces Claire to Margaret and Margaret unexpectedly springs to life, ranting wildly about blood and Abandawe. I love her, she's fun.

Archie explains she is known as a Seer and people pay well to hear her visions. Seems Scotland had a lot of cray crays errhh, I mean Seers in this era.

Claire provides the recipe for some wicked herbal teas before suggesting another visit tomorrow. Archie declines her self-invite explaining they are catching the red-eye to the West Indies on the ‘morrow, to see a rich client. Oooh la lah!

Young Ian has turned the Printshop into his private Love Shack and is wooing his new GF with songs and kisses. Stop! You are killing us with cute.

Claire returns to the Brothel to find Jamie at the table. The king was in his counting house, counting out his money.... along came a frustrated Claire and said it’s time to move. Burning the bed wouldn’t be enough for me either, Claire.

As always, they are interrupted by a knock at the door announcing Ian Murray Senior is down stairs. Stuff a duck, it's peg leg! I've missed him so much.

Ian is very happy to see Claire but he’s frantically looking for Young Ian. He’d run away from home again, the wee pest. Jamie lies to him and Claire is trying to think of England so Ian can't see she knows something. Ian is really distraught and it tugs at all our heartstrings. Jamie promises to bring him to Lallybroch if he turns up.

On the way out Ian asks Jamie if Claire knows the big SECRET. She doesn’t. OMG to the max. Ian runs/hobbles all the way home to share the gossip with Jenny McHappypants.

Over in the Love Shack, Ian’s cherry has been carefully popped, stuffed and mounted on the mantelpiece for prosperity. They have company though and hear someone breaking into the shop.

Ian sends Brighid scarpering and goes to confront the intruder - Mad Eye Moody. MEM is looking for the smuggled barrels and is searching high and low. Ian tells him there is nothing to find and to leave but as happens, a fight breaks out. After a bit of shovey-lovey, MEM bumps a secret door and out pops some hot-off-the-press seditious pamphlets. Bugger.

Ian struggles to grab the pamphlets off him. MEM pushes Ian off, pulls out his pistol and shoots at Ian, missing him but accidentally starting a fire. Things soon escalate into a scene from a Burning Man festival in Carfax Close. Oh Lordy there's a fire! *pass the marshmallows Young Ian finding himself trapped, waits for help.

After Ian has left, Claire confronts Jamie about lying to his family. She's upset that Jamie thinks he knows what’s best for Ian Jnr instead of letting his parents know he's ok. Claire tries to reason with the stubborn gingernut but he thinks she should be used to lying, having lied their way around Paris. Typical bloke logic to bring up something that happened 20 years ago. Ugh.

Claire throws the “you aren’t his parent” line at him and he returns a volley of bitterness for having missed Bree’s upbringing. Turns out Jamie is jealous of Frank too. Duh, Frank was a sexy spy!

Before they can throw ashtrays and start slamming doors, Jamie is alerted to the fire and races to the Printshop with Claire close behind.

On arrival at the Printshop and finding it ablaze, Jamie realises Ian is still inside and goes to his rescue. We all love the nod to Batman as Jamie jumps from the top level down to young Ian with full super hero drop slow mo. Rounds of applause please.

Checking Ian is breathing and looking for a way out, Jamie finds the miniature of Willie and stuffs it in his pocket. Sentimental fool, there's a fire! Get out now! Throwing Ian over his shoulder like a Santa sack, he climbs a press, squeezes through a window, down the front stairs to safety. Just in time to see the Edinburgh fire department squirt a tiny water pistol at the inferno. Good job fellas.

Knowing his life in Edinburgh is now cooked. *pun intended Jamie instructs Yi Tien Cho to go pay Leslie and Hayes for their work. Fergus is sent to try and intercept Mad Eye Moody before he can give the pamphlets to Sir Percival and make Alex Malcolm a very wanted man. After that, he instructed Fergus to then round up Ned Gowan (Solicitor from Season 1) and get him to Lallybroch. Jamie wants him to help sort out the fact he has another wife there. Confucius say WHAT!!!! That is a pretty yucky Secret Mr Fraser.

The End.

Can't wait for next week! Thanks for reading.

#ANZOFs OutlanderFanRecap

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